Barney tells Lily a joke that is only boy-funny, not girl-funny (per Ted and Marshall), and offends her so deeply she stops hanging with the gang. Obviously, the lovely and talented Ms. Hannigan's pre-baby time was running short and we needed a reason for her to be off our screens (where she is sorely missed) but the writers could have written a reason in the neighborhood of her character. I'll hit that in the weecap.
Ted's starting up his new architecture firm at home, which causes some friction between him and Robin. Ted hires an intern, PJ, to set up the office, design a website and brochures, and to guard the sanctity of his brainstorming hour. And Ted mentors him being like Ted. When Robin complains to Barney at MacLaren's, he's fully on Ted's side, until he learns PJ is male; then he's sorely disappointed in his own mentee.
Lay-offs are coming to GNB. Marshall's a hard worker, but Barney advises him to become a guy in their office, you know, like food guy, toy guy, YouTube guy and the like. After a few false starts (e.g. Eco-guy, which is bound to get you fired), Marshall decides to start a fantasy baseball league and becomes sports guy. However, managing the league involves more work and money than Marshall can handle.
Back at Ted's, tension between Robin and PJ escalates until they end up in bed together. PJ's performance (with Ted) goes downhill and Ted lets him go. Once he no longer works 10 feet from her bedroom, Robin loses interest and breaks it off with him. Ted hires PJ back. Robin takes PJ back.
Meanwhile, Barney is freaking that Robin's involved with PJ, but with Lily avoiding him, he has no one to talk to. He finally confesses to Marshall that he's in love with Robin. Like Lily didn't tell Marshall that ages ago! Barney needs Lily's mastery of manipulation to get PJ out of Ted's office and Robin's bed, so Marshall hires PJ as a paralegal. He administers the baseball fantasy league for Marshall, who keeps the sports guy tag, so he wins. PJ breaks it off with Robin and quits Ted's firm, so Barney wins. And getting away from Ted and Robin? I think PJ wins, too. I'll catch you on the flip side with the end tag and full weecap.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vlogger Sean Crespo thinks HIMYM is just a modern-day Friends in No Prior Knowledge! Then check back for the full weecap!
Marshall, Ted and Barney are laughing and enjoying themselves when Lily enters MacLaren's and sits to Barney in the booth. Barney tells her he heard this great joke at work today, but Marshall and Ted try to talk him out of telling it to Lily. It's boy-funny, not a girl-funny, whatever that means. [Usually, it means horribly dirty, and offensive to women. - Zach] Barney rails that they're being sexists. Funny is funny and Lily is cool. They bicker back and forth for a moment, and finally Lily talks Barney into telling her the joke. "Lily, what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?" Ted can't look at them. Marshall covers his mouth and snickers. Barney looks to them and says, "See, it's funny?" Again, Ted says, "It's boy-funny," and Marshall warns, "She's not going to like it." Lily asks why they won't let her decide and then turns to Barney. "What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?" Saget!Ted narrates: "And then Barney said the punch line. To this day, it's still the dirtiest joke I've ever heard in my life, and no, I'm not going to say it." It's funny to hear that line come out of Bob Saget's mouth (Saget is the voice of future Ted, and hence my "Saget!Ted") since his standup is so very blue.
Anyhow, the camera zooms in on Barney's mouth, and although we see his lips move, there is no sound. Lily's nostrils flare. She grabs her purse and looks at Barney with no love in her eyes. "Yeah, I can't hang out with you any more." She leaves MacLaren's. Barney protests that it's a funny joke, but Lily never looks back. Saget!Ted narrates, "And we didn't see Lily for four weeks." And we don't see her at least for the rest of this episode, which I think throws off the chemistry. Badly. I'm so glad for the Hannigan-Denisof family and their new addition, but damn, I miss our girl. A couple of people in the forum wondered if that line meant Marshall didn't see Lily for four weeks, either. I think a couple of people in the forum are on the drugs. [Hey, the thought crossed my mind as well. - Z] Moving right along...
What? You want to know the joke? Well, I've heard dirtier (and Saget's said dirtier), but I've heard way funnier, too, as has my husband Scott, who was a boy the last time I checked, and didn't laugh. If Barney were here I'd make him mock up a dirty/funny scale a la the hot/crazy scale, to see if it was worth repeating here. But since he's fictional, and is not here, that's not going to happen. If you haven't yet figured out the joke, I'll note that the very first post in the episode thread has the punch line. TWoP Barnes must be so proud of her charges -- who I do think are on the drugs.
And don't look at me like that, MrCoffeeNerves. Caffeine is totally a drug. One of my favorites.Saget!Ted narrates that after getting laid off, he was finally pursuing his dream. "Starting my own architecture firm. All I needed was some clients." Ted picks up the phone, pauses, and then hangs it back up as Robin compliments him on striking out on his own. Ted says, "Thanks, and thanks for being so cool with me using the apartment." You know -- the apartment that is his. The one in which he let Robin crash when she was jobless and homeless. Yeah, that one. Robin says, "Anything you need," and sits down to watch TV. Her largesse is small-esque though, because when Ted points out that Wheel of Fortune is distracting him from his work, Robin counters that he's more procrastinating than actually working. And we cut to...
GNB: Barney enter Marshall's office and lets him know there are going to be more lay-offs. Barney's not worried. He knows where the bodies are buried. "I mean, there's a pretty good chance one day I'll wash up on shore with no fingerprints or teeth, but I won't be fired." Marshall is worried, so Barney counsels him to become indispensable, and he's not talking hard work -- which Marshall already has covered and won't save your ass in a RIFF anyhow. Barney says, "You need that thing that makes you a guy." Marshall smirks. "Oh, I have that thing that makes me a guy. Maybe even a guy and a half." What Barney means is that Marshall needs a gimmick, something that makes him fun and well-liked. Something that turns him into [that] guy in the office.
One guy with that thing that makes him a guy is Marcus Denesco, who "was perhaps the most expendable employee at the company." He started bringing in donuts, then worked his way up to savory foods like pulled pork, and eventually he became known as Food Guy. Marshall and Barney agree that Food Guy will never be laid off. Marshall says, "You know what I love about Food Guy?" Dreamily, Barney answers, "He always has food," at the same time Marshall does. It's a beautiful moment of timing that the written word can't convey.
Barney also reminds Marshall about Toy Guy, the H.R. rep, who is a real policy wonk, but has his office stuffed with all sorts of cool toys. We flash back to the time he had to review the company's overtime policy with our boys, and made them wear Wolverine claws and duke it out, while he shot them with all sorts of projectile Nerf-style toys as he lectured.
Barney also reminds Marshall of YouTube Clip Guy. In the flashback, Barney, Marshall and a half dozen other guys are crowded around YouTube Clip Guy's desk, laughing at whatever gross vid he's just shown them. One of their co-workers is on his hands and knees, vomiting into a wastebasket while high-fiving the guy to him.
When Marshall accepts his need for a thing, Barney advises his on how to proceed. "Choose wisely. You don't want to be Douglas, a.k.a. Creepy Back Rub Guy." Oh man, I hate that guy (and his sister, too). We flash back to Barney and Marshall eating lunch in a conference room. They decide to save some room for Food Guy's panna cotta, then Creepy Back Rub Guy comes over and starts massaging Marshall's neck and shoulders out of the blue. When he remarks on how "tight" they are, Marshall says, "I was... uh... relaxed about two seconds ago." Barney laughs at him until Creepy Back Rub Guy says, "You're ." Eww. He made me shudder. Thank goodness it's time to jump to...
Ted's Apartment: Robin arrives home to find a new "Mosbius Designs" desk in the middle of the living room, and a pretty young thing seated behind it. He welcomes her to "Mosbius Designs" and when she asks, "Who the hell are you?" (Which was a little harsh, no?) PYT says, "I'm PJ, Mr. Mosby's assistant." When Robin tries to talk to Ted about the situation, PYTPJ blocks her from reaching him and says, "I'm sorry, we do not interrupt Mr. Mosby during his brainstorming hour." Ted then talks to PYTPJ via intercom, and tells him Robin's okay, because she lives there. They continue their conversation over the intercom, but once Ted asks PYTPJ for coffee, Robin hollers at them both for the inanity of using an intercom when you are standing to the person to whom you're talking. Yes. Ted's desk is right to PYTPJ's. Yes, this is dumb, nearly as dumb as Lily getting her knickers in a twist over Barney's joke, but at least this does not seem wildly out of character for Ted. He is a duke, after all.
At a Lily-less MacLaren's, Robin rags on Ted to Marshall and Barney about how Ted has an assistant to help him with all the work he isn't doing. Ted gets defensive. "Hey, PJ's been a huge help to me, setting up the office, designing the Web site. And in return, I'm mentoring a bright young mind." Ugh. Robin ahhh-yeses "the mentoring" and we flash back to Ted's apartment. Ted instructs PYTPJ to go outside today and put his hands on some buildings. No, really. "Feel the concrete pulse. Listen... listen to the stories the stones are telling you." PYTPJ stops taking notes and nods. Ted then adds, "And pick up my dry cleaning." Robin rolls her eyes, then returns them to her newspaper as PYTPJ thanks Ted for sharing his wisdom or whatever. Once he's gone, Robin puts her ear to the table then says, "Hey, Ted." When she has his attention, she finishes: "This table just told me you're a douche." And we flash forward to...
MacLaren's: Robin tells Ted that all this nonsense with PYTPJ is just "to procrastinate from actually calling clients." Ted says he's not procrastinating; he just wants everything to be perfect. My cousin George calls himself a "procrastinating perfectionist." It suits me, too. I was talking to my mom and mentioned that my husband and I are going to get our taxes done today (April 15), and she laughed and told me George was, too. But in our defense, if the world had ended anywhere between the end of January and yesterday, my husband and I would not have wanted to waste time at the accountant's, and I'm sure George and his wife feel the same. Which is my long way of saying, Oh, Ted -- the fact that you're a perfectionist doesn't mean you're not procrastinating. It's likely proof that you are. Anyhow, Robin points out that PYTPJ is not helping. Barney strongly disagrees. "Hey. Hey! If Ted says that PJ..." Barney winks "...is important to the company, then PJ..." he winks again, "...is not going anywhere." Ted adds, "See? He's very valuable."
Upon realizing PJ is male, not female, Barney completely reverses his position. "PJ's not some hot chick you're banging?" Ted says no and that he's mentoring him. Barney cringes and groans. "Mentoring. I mentored a young fellow once, even made him my wingman. Then one day, he hired an assistant to work ten feet from his bedroom who -- get this -- isn't a hot chick, proving he never listened to a word I said. And do you know that young man's name?" Ted offers, "Ted Mosby?" Barney frowns. "Maybe. I don't remember. Because HE IS DEAD TO ME!" Barney slams down his drink and walks away from the booth, then turns back and lays his hand on the table. "PJ's gonna be getting a very confusing card in the mail, along with a garment that he should by no means wear for three days and then mail back to me." Three days? Gross. I mean, the whole idea is gross, but three days of stank is just too too. Thankfully, we sideways slide to...
GNB: Marshall runs a few of his That Guy ideas by Barney. He proposes "Eco-guy, because everybody loves a guy who recycles, right?" Marshall doesn't get out much, does he? Barney tells him that will get him fired. , he proposes being Wacky Tie Guy. Barney says, "Fired." Daily Fun Fact Guy. Barney waves his finger in the air. "Did you know... that you're fired?" I Know-A-Good-Stretch-For-That Guy. "Downward-facing fired." Monty Python Guy. "We are the knights who say... 'You're fired'." I suspect that Monty Python Guy would be crowned King at the TWoP home office, at least until Looks Just Like Jensen Ackles Guy staged a coup. [Sorry, but Looks Just Like Jemaine Clement Guy is the current Emperor-for-Life. - Z]
Finally, Marshall hits on an idea -- running a fantasy baseball league. "I'll be Fantasy Guy." Barney says they'll have to make Marshall Sports Guy. Huh. Maybe they already have a Looks Just Like Jensen Ackles Guy in the fantasy role? Oh, no, it's because they already have a Fantasy Guy, who walks by the conference room where Marshall and Barney are talking. He says, "What's up, bros?" as he passes by... staff in hand... long blue and black velvet robe trailing behind him. That guy could be the TWoP home office wizard, or something.
At Ted's apartment, Ted answers his cell phone. It's PYTPJ, who is going to be late to work because he's atop the Empire State Building. Ted says, "Listen to the old gal. She's got some stories to tell." When he ends the call, he catches sight of the caller I.D. and reads it aloud. "Wait a second. 'Ted Mosby Home'?" The camera zooms out and then back in on Ted. "Oh, my God, the call's coming from inside the house!" Hee. As suspenseful music plays, Ted makes his way to Robin's bedroom, and opens the door to find an unclothed PYTPJ in bed with an equally unclothed Robin. They look up at him, and PYTPJ looks like he's going to cry. Ted points his finger and gently says, "That's not the Empire State Building." I like silly Ted. He leaves them and us. Commercial time.
Ted asks Robin to explain how she ended up in bed with his assistant. She says it happened when Ted went on his "wisdom walks." We flash back. PYTPJ has just sucked up to the departing Ted, so Robin asks "How does Ted's ass taste?" PYTPJ says, "I wouldn't know, but I assume it tastes like genius." Robin doesn't correct him. Instead, she ignores him and heads off to the bathroom, only to find it locked. PJ informs her that visitors have to sign in to use the bathroom. Robin says, "Listen, Peej, and I want you to think this over real good before you answer. Are you telling me that I can't go to the bathroom in my apartment?" PYTPJ says, "No. I am telling you that you need to ask permission to use the bathroom in my office." Robin says, "Why is that so hot?" and that's where this episode lost me. Completely. I love seeing different duos among the friends pair up, and although Barney and Marshall's B-plot itself is kind of lame, watching Segal and Harris play off one another is entertaining enough. Ted's been a decent mix of silly, sweet, and douchey. But I don't even know Robin, today. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem thinking she'd find PJ hot because he really is PYTPJ, but the bathroom thing is just dumb. I feel like they put no thought into this episode. [I dunno -- this is the girl who had sex with a guy just because he was naked. - Z]
Back in the present, Ted argues with Robin about hitting on his assistant when there are so many available guys in the world. And in a series of flashbacks we get a taste of the sort of guy who is available to a woman who works Robin's hours: a guy with ink-stained hands who delivers newspapers; a guy who still watches TV in bed with his mom, "We call it Cuddle Club"; and then there's Fantasy Guy from GNB. Again in the present, Ted tells Robin that she could do worse than Fantasy Guy and more importantly, that distracting PJ is going to hurt Mosbius Designs' productivity. Robin points out that Ted has yet to call any clients. Ted says, "Hey, once I get the Web site up, the brochures printed, and figure out what trust games we're going to play at the corporate retreat, I am making those calls." Ted's already stormed off when Robin joins me in saying, "Corporate retreat?" But PYTPJ is finally dressed and emerging from her bedroom so he explains: "Mr. Mosby and I are going camping on the roof." Who took away my HIMYM and replaced it with this dreck? I just got back from getting my taxes done, and that was more fun than this. Of course, I'm getting a refund, but still.
GNB: Barney calls Marshall Sports Guy and says people are "raving" about his league, but there's a lot more work involved in it than Marshall remembered. And between all the fees involved, he's holding onto a lot of money. We flash back to Marshall collecting the cash. He thinks to himself that he'll have to take it home and put it somewhere safe. I assumed that means far away from Lily's spendy little paws. Oh man, I miss her right now. Nothing here is real. Nothing here is right.
As Marshall walks stiffly down the streets of Manhattan, loaded with $18,000 (not a typo), we're treated to his inner monologue. Okay, just walking down the street with some money in my pocket. Don't touch the money. That's so obvious. Just be cool. He could not be any less cool. He passes by a mom who has her baby strapped to her front in one of those baby carriers. The baby is facing outwards. When she looks at Marshall, he thinks, Oh, no. The baby's on to me. Babies can smell money. Everyone knows that! Trufax! Ask your co-star, the time you see her, which I hope to heaven is soon. Marshall stops dead in his tracks and screams at the baby, "I'm carrying a lot of money!" and runs down the street, hands flapping in the breeze. And we flash forward to...
MacLaren's: Barney and Marshall are at the bar and Marshall doesn't know how much longer he can keep up with the league. Barney tells Marshall, "Last week, you were trash that no one wanted to look at. Now you're Sports Guy." Marshall cringes. "I was trash?" Barney waves his hand. His voice rises. "Last week."
Ted and Robin enter, and the foursome walks to the Lily-less booth. Marshall asks how his business is going, and Ted says it was going fine "until Robin started banging my assistant." Marshall thinks this is hysterically funny, but Barney looks like he just sat down the wrong way on his hemorrhoids. Robin reminds Ted they share the (HIS!) apartment. "You leave a big chocolate cake on the counter, Mama's gonna cut her off a slice." Barney winces and grimaces as she talks and then says, "I told you, hire a cute assistant that you can sleep with. But instead, you hire a cute assistant that Robin can sleep with." He's nearly shouting now. "And of course he's gonna sleep with her, Ted. Look at her!" He gestures at Robin who's sitting to him in the booth. "She's the greatest woman on the planet!" Robin smiles and raises her eyebrows at that, but that's lost on Barney. He shuts his eyes for a moment. "I'm getting off topic!" Eyes open again, pries his index finger out of the clenched-fist position and points at Ted. "You're an idiot! That's my message!" He scoops up a palm full of peanuts and crushes them in his hand, spraying shells and nutmeat all over the place. "You're an idiot!" He then rises and starts to stomp off but returns to the table and says, "No. One person storming off isn't enough! Marshall, storm off with me!" Marshall rises and gestures back and forth. His heart isn't in it, but he shakes his fists and stomps his foot all the same, and joins Barney at the bar.
He asks Barney why he's so upset about Ted not having sex with his employees. Barney says, "It hurts." Marshall asks how, and Barney replies, "It hurts because I love... Ted... having sex with women. I'm a very dedicated wingman!" Marshall totally knows that Barney loves Robin; you can tell by his big grin during this conversation. Barney tells Marshall that Lily is the only one he can talk to about this and asks Marshall to try to get her to talk to him. Marshall says he'll try, "but there's no guarantee. She's still really outraged about that joke. Grrr. That joke. It's torn our little group apart. Pitted people I love against each other. Seriously, I wish... I wish that joke had never come into our lives." Both men then snicker, because the joke is "so funny." No it's not. [Yeah, not really. - Z]
Ted's: Ted carries a box into the home office. PYTPJ is sitting at the desk. Clothed. Sadly. "Hey, good news, PJ. The brochures you designed just came in. Really interesting choice for the cover." Ted takes a brochure from the box. "I like how, instead of one of my designs, you chose... this." He flips it around and we see the Mosbius Designs brochure, its cover graced by one of those cutesy couple photos starring PYTPJ and Robin. PJ explains the obvious -- he must have sent in the wrong photo. Ted ends up firing him for various offenses like being late and not showing up on the corporate retreat. (Ted saw a shooting star.)
PYTPJ picks up his phone. "Hey, baby. I just got fired." He walks over to Ted's couch. "Yeah, I'll wait for you at your place. Okay, bye." He sits and turns on the TV. "Oh, 'Wheel of Fortune'!" In the background, we see Ted, who's at first aggravated, at least until his realizes this is another excuse for him to procrastinate.
We return from commercial to find PJ and Robin cuddled up on the couch. He's thrilled to have so much free time to spend with Robin. But for Robin, the bloom is off the rose. When PJ gets all smoochy, Robin tries to back away from him as Ted asks them to please stop. PJ excuses himself to use the bathroom (saying "I'll miss you"), and Ted tells Robin he can see that she's already sick of him. Robin admits that he's driving her crazy. "When PJ had a job, he was sexy. He was guardian of the bathroom key. A hot guy telling you when you can and can't pee? That's the dream." Oh come on, this sucks. [The girl has issues, is all I'm saying. - Z]
Ted blahs about that probably not being what Dr. Martin Luther King had in mind. Robin realizes she has to end it, but says she's terrible at break-ups. PJ comes back from the bathroom and says, "I still have to go a little bit, but I couldn't be away from you one second longer." Oh, just shoot him, Robin. You have guns. Instead she tries to talk, with the emphasis on tries. "Oh listen, uh, dude, I don't know. [...] Yeah, it's just... It's not really... Ix-nay, you know?" PYTPJ says, "Ix-nay on what?" Robin tries: "Not feeling it." PJ says, "Not feeling what?" Robin volleys back with, "But-but friends and stuff?" Ted speaks for us all. "Oh, my God, this is the worst breakup ever." PYTPJ finally gets it. Robin then tries to make it look like it was his idea and we mercifully jump to...
GNB: Marshall can't handle all the e-mails, texts, phone calls and whatnot involved in running the fantasy baseball league, even though Barney says he now has a great following as Sports Guy. When Marshall whispers to Barney that sometimes he even feels like he's being followed, Creepy Back Rub Guy comes up and works his fingers out on Marshall's shoulders as he says, "Hey, buddy. I need you to push that trade through, so I can set my new lineup. Wow, you really carry it in your shoulders, don't you?" Marshall looks at Barney and says, "Seriously, it's over." Creepy Back Rub Guy says, "Do you want me to stop?" Chagrined, Marshall says, "No." And we cut to...
My Hell/Mosbius Designs: Since Robin and PJ broke up, Ted hires PJ back. Once Ted hires PJ was back, Robin gets back with him.
MacLaren's: When Marshall tells Barney that Robin and PJ are "an item, again," he downs his whole glass of Scotch in one gulp, then chokes. Marshall asks if he's okay. Barney has to confide in Marshall since Lily isn't speaking to him. "This isn't easy to say, all right? I'm... wait for it... in... wait for it... love... wait for it... with... wait for it...." He sighs then pauses for a moment. "A... wait for it... certain... wait for it..."
Thank goodness Marshall interrupts. "I KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ROBIN!" Lily told him, of course, Barney. What did you expect? Barney's not pleased. "I bet you guys have been laughing at me behind my back the whole time." Marshall says, "Actually, in a weird way, we both think you're kind of perfect for each other." Marshall and Lily have even been making it a point to sit on the same side of the booth so that Robin and Barney will end up sitting together. Barney admits that he thinks that's so sweet, and then takes on a gruff tone. "But let's be clear. I don't love her. Okay? I just miss her when she's not around, I think about her all the time and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion. And I'm wearing a brown suede vest." Ixnay on the est-vay, Arney-Bay. Marshall wonders if Barney will ever tell Robin how he feels, and Barney again treats us to his inner Sméagol. "No. Maybe. Never. I don't know." Barney tries to get the last drop of booze from his glass but it's empty. "Look, I just need to get that PJ idiot away from her. If Lily were here, she'd know exactly how to get rid of him." Marshall offers to help, but Barney points out that he's no Lily. "Lily is a diabolical puppet master, subtly manipulating every situation to get exactly what she wants." Quiet down, children. We're observing the increasingly rare continuity bird in its once-natural habitat. Bow your heads in respectful silence and pray that we'll see her and her entire flock grace our shores someday soon. Like episode. Barney doesn't hear me. He just keeps talking about Lily, and making me miss her even more. "She's pure evil, Marshall. ...You got a good one there. Hang on to her." YEAH, MARSHALL.
Ted's: PJ walks in with a bouquet of roses and a letter in hand. He's greeted by Ted trying to pull him into a wisdom walk, and by Robin taunting him that she took the bathroom key without permission. And bless the PYT's young heart, he's had enough of both of them. "Look... you guys are both great, but the truth is I'm taking another job." He holds up the flowers and the letter. "These are for you." Turning, he says, "Robin, I hope this letter offers some closure," and hands her the envelope. He then gives Ted the bouquet. "Ted, I'm really going to miss you." Hee. Not worth it, but still, hee. Thank you PYTPJ, for ripping off the bandage. I work at home if you find yourself in need of another... position.
GNB: A mob of guys crowds around arguing about fantasy baseball league trades. They're all threatening in one way or another. Finally a voice says, "Okay, Okay! I'll figure it out." It's PYTPJ! He shoves his paperwork in a folder and leaves the conference room. Marshall's seated at the big table. Barney, who's standing at his side, laughs. "Hire the kid to be a paralegal. He gets to do all the work, and you still get to be Sports Guy. Pure evil, Eriksen. Pure evil." Lily must have come up with that idea at home, right? At any rate, Barney thanks him. I'm not even going to pick this nit I've got about how, if GNB's ramping up for another round of lay-offs, they've probably put a moratorium on hiring, because I'm just so glad the Ted/PYTPJ/Robin triangle is over! Thank you Marshall (and Lily)!
Ted's Apartment: Robin arrives home to find Ted looking extra-glum and staring off into space. She asks if he's okay, and he says, "What if I don't think of the books?" Robin says, "Excuse me?" Ted explains. "There's this famous architecture story..." (Oh, check these things on Snopes, Ted) "...about an architect who designed this library. It was perfect. But every year, the whole thing would sink a couple inches into the ground. Eventually, the building was condemned. He forgot to account for the weight of the books. This company -- it's just me. What if I don't think of the books?" Robin cocks her head in consideration. "Okay, first of all, nobody goes to libraries anymore, so who cares about that guy?" Robin, it really is you! There was some other chick here all episode long. She looked just like you, but man, she wasn't you. Welcome back, girl. She ignores me, because Ted's really in need of a boot in the ass, but we'll catch up later.
"Secondly, you need to get on the phone and start calling clients." It comes down to this: Ted's afraid to make his dream a reality, because he's afraid to screw up his dream. "It's like I'm giving up before I even started." Robin laughs. "You want to talk about giving up? I used to describe my ideal guy as 'funny, smart, passionate, challenging', and now, apparently, I will settle for 'in my apartment'. Didn't you think you'd have it all more figured out by now?" Sure, Ted thought he'd be married, ridiculously successful and maybe even have a kid on the way. That's the premise of the show, right? "Instead, I'm just some guy sitting in his apartment, having a staring contest with his phone. And losing." Robin tells him he can totally take it (the phone). She walks into her room, leaving him to do what he has to do.
Ted sighs and smiles, then looks down at the phone and before he can think about it, he picks it up and dials. "Hi, this is Ted Mosby, of Mosbius Designs. I'm calling to inquire about any design needs you may have now or in the future." Robin walks out of her room talking on her cell. "That sounds great, buddy. [...] Now call an actual client." Ted says, "Right." He puts down the receiver, and rubs his hands together and we fade out.
End Tag: Barney and Marshall are having lunch in the conference room. They holler out greetings to Food Guy and Toy Guy in between bites. As Barney dips his sushi (or whatever) into a dipping sauce, Marshall spies a guy in a ninja costume outside the conference room window. Turning to Barney he says, "Hey, who's that guy?" Barney looks over his shoulder then quickly turns his face front again, and in a quiet voice he says, "He doesn't work here. I think we should leave the building." He puts down his chopsticks. Marshall says, "Really?" Nervously looking over his shoulder, Barney rises from his seat. "This has happened before."
Oh, man, this episode. I love the Barney/Marshall stuff and I loved the Barney/Robin developments, but I hated so much of the main story and missed Lily so much, I really could only take watching it the first time. Every time after that, it just got dumber and dumber to me. I was going to rant a little about it being out of character for Lily to have gotten that offended at a Barney joke that she stayed away from the whole gang for any period of time, but right now? I don't even care. I hope they get it together week. There aren't that many weeks left to the season. And this has been a good one, show. Don't let us down.
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