House — Episode Guide

Recapped by Puritans Everyone

2-14
2006.03.07

This Show Is Written By Puritans
Everyone cheats on his or her spouse and pays for that sin with some bad-cheese-related heart failure, gonorrhea-related fatal car accidents, and, worst of all, having to move in with House. The only person who isn't having sex is a guy who really, really wants to have sex with his hot mom.

Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Author
2-14 Recap	This Show Is Written By Puritans Sex Kills - Everyone cheats on his or her spouse and pays for that sin with some bad-cheese-related heart failure, gonorrhea-related fatal car accidents, and, worst of all, having to move in with House. The only person who isn't having sex is a guy who really, really wants to have sex with his hot mom.	2006.03.07 2006.03.13	Sara
2-13 Recap	Skin Is Deep, Balls Are Deeper Skin Deep - House suffers from leg pain as he tries to treat a young female supermodel who's not very super or very female after all.	2006.02.20 2006.02.26	Sara M
2-12 Recap	ATV And LSD Distractions - When he isn't getting revenge on a med-school classmate by giving himself the Worst Migraine Ever, doing LSD, and calling a hooker over to his apartment, House treats a kid with a brain disorder that gives him orgasms and fiery ATV crashes.	2006.02.14 2006.02.20	Sara M
2-11 Recap	Need To Go Need To Know - Stacy and House finally have sex, and then he dumps her for good. Hooray! The patient of the week would rather give herself all kinds of medical problems than tell her extremely stupid husband the truth. She gets cured, but doesn't learn her lesson.	2006.02.07 2006.02.13	Sara M
2-10 Recap	Failure To Scintillate Failure To Communicate - A series of rather ridiculous plot contrivances bring us a reporter who's lost the ability to speak or write, House stranded at an airport with Stacy and her insatiable hunger for curry, the Cottages running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out what's wrong with their patients and missing the most obvious of clues, and Wilson and Cuddy not having much to do at all.	2006.01.10 2006.01.17	Sara M
2-9 Recap	Decepticon Deception - Patient Anica is more than meets the eye: her symptoms indicate Cushing's, but there's no cortisol-secreting tumor in sight. Cameron tries to transform into someone cool and smart, with good results, while Foreman tries to transform into an administrator, with bad results. Optimus Prime does not appear in this episode.	2005.12.13 2005.12.19	Sara M
2-8 Recap	Unhappy Accident The Mistake - Chase and House have to go in front of a peer review committee to determine whether Chase made a mistake that ultimately led to a woman's death, and we all go on a journey through the organ black market, living donor transplants, awesome continuity, elementary school talent shows, and, of course, seemingly endless discussions about Stacy and House's non-relationship.	2005.11.29 2005.12.05	Sara M
2-7 Recap	Hunting For Ratings Hunting - If you like House the Jerk, then you'll love the manipulative bastard he truly becomes in this episode as he attacks his patient's father with his cane (and with a few allegations that the guy's dead wife was sleeping around), and uses the information from Stacy's purloined therapy files to make himself look charming and thoughtful to either get her fired or win her back or both! As an added bonus, you also get to watch the similarly unlikable actions taken by his meth-using and co-worker-on-drugs-doing staff! And if you like Cuddy or Foreman, you'll be disappointed. Again.	2005.11.22 2005.11.28	Sara M
2-6 Recap	Cheaters Never Win (Except For Sometimes) Spin - When House and his team treat a cyclist who admits to illegally enhancing his biking performance, their own cheating ways come to light: Wilson cheats on his wives, House cheats to get secret information about Stacy, and Cameron thought about cheating once, but was too saintly to actually go through with it, making her especially resentful of those who do and get away with it. Oddly, she has no problem leaking confidential patient information to the press and framing the morgue for it.	2005.11.15 2005.11.21	Sara M
2-5 Recap	Shock And Aww Daddy's Boy - A Princeton almost-grad has shock-like symptoms, sphincter paralysis, and a dead mother his well-meaning father lied about. House tries to avoid seeing his visiting parents, because he hates his truth-telling military father. His mother, on the other hand, is surprisingly sweet and nice and tells House he's perfect.	2005.11.08 2005.11.14	Sara M
2-4 Recap	That Isn't The Question TB Or Not TB - Because we know Dr. Sebastian "Africa-Saver" Charles has TB. We just don't know what's really killing him, why House hates people who do nice things, or whether Cameron will ever be attracted to a man who isn't about to die.	2005.11.01 2005.11.07	Sara M
2-3 Recap	All The King's Houses Humpty Dumpty - Cuddy's hot Latino handyman falls off her roof, and his fingers turn black, bringing House and his team onto the case, along with a whole lotta "did they or didn't they?" questions about Cuddy and House's history. By the end, the handyman loses a hand before House figures out what's wrong with him, but we never figure out whether House and Cuddy did it.	2005.09.27 2005.10.03	Sara M
2-2 Recap	Crossing The Line Autopsy - House crosses the line from likable curmudgeon to mean SOB. Cameron crosses the line from annoyingly over-emotional and useless character to confident and capable doctor. Chase straddles the line between sweet guy and creepy pedophile. And patient Andie goes back and forth between life and death.	2005.09.20 2005.09.26	Sara M
2-1 Recap	Doin' It And Doin' It And Doin' It Well Acceptance - LL Cool J guest stars as a Death Row inmate with a Mysterious Illness. House cures him because he does his job well, even if it does involve getting wasted and hacking into the hospital computer's mainframe. Cameron refuses to tell her patient that she has terminal lung cancer, because she doesn't do her job well at all. Also, Foreman is black.	2005.09.13 2005.09.19	Sara M
1-22 Recap	We'll Never Have Paris Honeymoon - At Stacy's request, House treats Stacy's husband, whose Mystery Disease is so mysterious that no one, including the husband himself, thinks there's actually anything wrong with him. And yet, he's subjected to a barrage of expensive and painful tests and surgeries, because Stacy always gets what Stacy wants. House, on the other hand, can only try sometimes and get what he needs. And that is drugs.	2005.05.24 2005.09.07	Sara M
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