By Sara M
Recent lottery winner Cyrus comes to PPTH after his leg becomes paralyzed in the middle of his mission to be reunited with his long-lost love now that he's super-rich. Fortunately for him, she shows up at PPTH shortly after he's admitted and seemingly wants nothing to do with his money. Unfortunately for him, he ends up having not one, but three tumors that are three different types of cancer. Oh, and that woman was actually a fake sent by Cyrus's cousin and best friend to try to get more of Cyrus's money even though Cyrus was willing to give the guy ten million dollars just for being his friend. House decides that Cyrus must have something else wrong with him to cause him to develop these tumors, and so pumps Cyrus full of tumor-growing drugs in the hopes of finding out what as quickly as possible. Not only does that not cause any new tumors to form, but it also actually shrinks the existing ones. Ultimately, House figures out that Cyrus's problems are all due to another tumor -- a teratoma, best known to me as those horrible, horrible tumors that can grow hair and teeth. Cyrus's teratoma does not have hair and teeth, but it is full of brain cells, which have somehow leaked into Cyrus's bloodstream, causing his immune system to attack them and also the cells in his actual brain for good measure. This also somehow caused all those cancers, but Cyrus will be fine once the teratoma is removed. And he has something to live for, as his real long-lost love finally shows up at PPTH.
While all this is going on, we also have the B, C and D plots. Hadley is being negative and miserable and House is determined to find out why, only to realize that it might have something to do with the fact that her nearly-over life totally sucks. Chase tries to get Foreman to de-stress at work, claiming that he's been much happier ever since he stopped having sex with tons of girls, but Foreman can't de-stress and it turns out that Chase can't stop having sex with tons of girls, either. And Cuddy is being sued by her own mother, who is slow to recover from her hip replacement replacement operation and wants PPTH to pay for it with several thousand dollars and most likely the revocation of Cuddy and House's medical licenses. In the end, it turns out that Murphy Brown doesn't really want to sue her daughter, but was hoping that Cuddy and House would unite against her and get back together again. It doesn't work.
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