By Sara M
House and Wilson snatch an unconscious CTB from Princeton General and bring her to PPTH. En route, CTB's racing heart goes into V-fib and she has to be shocked -- except that Wilson decides to lower her body temperature and put her on a bypass machine instead, which will give House more time to remember her symptom and save her. Even though House is still trying to recover from his heart attack and skull fracture, he manages to recall the bar he was at with CTB, but a visit there only gets Wilson all jealous when the bartender recalls House and CTB looking like a couple.
CTB's liver starts to go, joining her kidneys which were damaged in the crash, and House has to decide whether to treat CTB like a normal patient and take potentially fatal risks or defer to his friend's pleas to actually wait and get test results back before treating her. When he decides to override Wilson and do his job, Wilson begs him to first do some dangerous electrical brain zapping thing to access his memories so that they're sure House knows what that first symptom was. Since House's brain has problems of its own, Wilson is basically asking House to risk his life to possibly save the person he loves more: CTB. Ouch. But House goes along with it, and has electrical probes drilled into his brain.They work and he finally remembers what happened at the bar.
House went there alone and got wasted for some reason. When his keys were taken away, he called Wilson for a ride home. But Wilson was at work, so CTB decided to be a pal and pick House up herself. He wound up taking the bus instead, and she followed him on to give him his cane. That's when he saw her take some pills for the flu she was fighting off. And therein lay the problem: those pills have a secret ingredient that, if not properly filtered by one's kidneys, will kill you. And since CTB's kidneys got knocked out in the crash, she has no chance. Not even dialysis will work, since the drug maliciously binds to proteins. And then House has a big old seizure and his fracture gets worse and he's in a coma. So now Wilson has lost his girlfriend and possibly his best friend. Nice one, Wilson.
He wakes CTB up for their last moments together and it's really sad and Robert Sean Leonard is amazing. And then CTB dies, only to pop up in House's coma dream, where he says he doesn't want to wake up and face real life, where he's in pain all the time and now his best friend will hate him for putting his girlfriend on the bus ride that killed her. She's not very sympathetic, but that's probably because, you know, he killed her and these things take a while to get over. House wakes up and Cuddy will still be his friend, but Wilson won't even come into his ICU room. By the way, we learned more about Kumar's background and Hadley decided to finally test herself for Huntington's because of how poorly she handled CTB's possible death. And I have to say, I was shocked when her test came back positive. How can I hate her now? I'm sure I'll find a way in Season 5!
Last time on House: read the recap! Or the recaplet if you're in a hurry. Better yet: watch the episode. It was awesome.
Not much time has passed since we last left our show; it's the same day, and Wilson and House have made it to Princeton General, a.k.a. Craphole General. Look at that place! Old ceiling tiles, gross beige curtains separating patient beds, dull blue-gray walls -- hell, it has walls! PPTH has only windows and a cool fountain that looks like a waterfall. And that mural. Surely Craphole General can afford that stuff, too! After all, they don't have House on their staff to cost them in legal fees and accreditation committee fines. Then again, perhaps it is House and all those expensive and unnecessary tests he runs on his patients that have given PPTH such fat pockets. Anyway, CTB probably doesn't mind the hideous outdated décor she's surrounded by because she's in a coma. Her doctor, who is not pleasing to the eyes like almost everyone at PPTH (I'm so sorry, Taub), says that they've fixed CTB's crash injuries, but now her heart is racing and they don't know why. "Sure it wasn't the bus that landed on her?" House asks, phrasing it as crudely as possible even though poor Wilson -- and, for the matter, CTB -- are in the room. Craphole General Dr. Ordinary McBoring says that heart has nothing to do with the trauma, as it started well after she arrived at the hospital and had whatever surgeries she needed. Meanwhile, Wilson is kind of upset at the sight of the woman he loves looking all broken. He asks the Dr. McBoring why no one called him, which would be a stupid question were he thinking clearly. CTB has been unconscious the entire time and had no ID. And even if she did, why would anyone know to call Wilson? Does her wallet have a "in case of emergency, call Wilson" card in it? Is it tattooed on her unmentionables? House focuses on the case, finding out that CTB's leg wound was repaired in surgery and she's on dialysis for her damaged kidneys. He asks about some heart test to see what's up with CTB's heart, but Dr. McBoring says she's in line behind three other, more critical patients. WHAT! A line? For equipment? This place sucks. Are those vertical blinds I see? Nasty. Get CTB out of here! Dr. McBoring protests moving CTB to PPTH while her heart is like this, but her husband has the power to overrule his decisions, and Wilson is perfectly happy to lie. Either that, or if this season hadn't been cut short by the strike we would have seen CTB and Wilson get married.
No one at Craphole General bothered to check the non-existent marriage license, so the thing we see is House and Wilson tending to CTB in the back of an ambulance. Apparently, Craphole General can't even afford to staff its ambulances with paramedics. House gets right to work, wondering if the bus crash exacerbated an underlying condition that caused the heart problem, while Wilson just wants to know why CTB was on the bus and why she was with House. A frustrated House reminds Wilson that he can't remember anything to answer his questions, and also he's recovering from a recent heart attack so he really needs Wilson to get over his emotional stuff right now and give him a hand. Especially now that CTB's heart just went into V-fib. House is about to zap her, but Wilson snaps out of it just in time to suggest that in lieu of re-starting CTB's heart, they put her in "protective hypothermia" with her heart on a bypass machine and hope they can figure out what's wrong with her and cure it in time. Wilson doesn't want to restart CTB's heart because it will just keep racing and apparently shoot off some brain-damaging free radicals. House obviously doesn't think this is a good idea, or one that he would have chosen if the decision was left up to him. But Wilson is begging him to do it, so he agrees. Fortunately, the ambulance is well-stocked with ice packs.
We're finally back in PPTH, where the patient rooms have cathedral ceilings and are filled with plentiful technology. CTB's bypass room is huge and all white. She has several doctors tending to her needs and even more hanging out in the balcony above, and almost all of them all pretty. It's great to be back! Chase the Surgeon is in charge of hooking CTB up to the bypass machine. He does it with no problems and gives House and the team the nod. "Why are we doing this?" Foreman asks, now that it's apparently okay to talk. House says they're trying to buy some time. He glares at Wilson on his way out. House hates buying time, I guess. Maybe it's because the "buying" part making him think of spending money. Taub and Foreman give Wilson manly pats on the back on their way out.
In the conference room, House is writing on the Whiteboard O'Symptoms and asking for diagnoses on a prior condition that could be exacerbated by trauma. Taub rattles several off before HADLEY (now with last name!) says "it could be anything" in a most unhelpful manner. "GREAT! LET'S EXPLORE THAT!" House barks at her with one of his more impressive eye-rolls. Wow, someone's in a bad mood. I'm happy enough to see him take it out on Hadley, though. Foreman points out that they are now unable to perform several helpful diagnostic tests on CTB because someone thought it would be a good idea to stop her heart. House doesn't appreciate this being pointed out, so he yells at Foreman that he's sorry it's going to make things more difficult to diagnose, but at least now their patient will be alive for her diagnosis. Kumar has a suggestion: jogging House's memory again to see if he can remember whatever symptom CTB had before the crash. "Why not cyanide?" Taub says cheerfully. Somehow, I don't think he'd have too much of a problem if House were to take cyanide. For some reason, Taub doesn't think it's a good idea for House to take more of the pills that stopped his heart. He suggests sleep instead. House actually agrees. I guess now that he knows CTB is the person he's risking his life for, he's not quite so eager to do so. House tells Foreman to give CTB an angiogram, on which even a stopped heart will show damage. Everyone else gets to search CTB's pad for anything that could make her heart race.
Hadley and Kumar take off, but Taub stays behind for some adult talk. House takes a seat at his desk, and Taub asks him if there's anything "medically relevant" that he didn't want everyone else to know. Why would Taub think he's qualified to be House's special confidante? I guess since Taub cheats on his wife he figures he's the best person for House to talk to about stealing his best friend's woman. "I was not having an affair with her," House says. Taub says he can't know that if he doesn't remember what happened. Maybe they decided to go on a drug binge while they were partying it up at the bar. House knows himself well enough to know that's a possibility, so he approves Taub's request to run a tox screen on CTB.
Kumar and Hadley enter Wilson and CTB's apartment. While Kumar gets right to work, Hadley stands around the foyer looking... well, I'm not sure what she's supposed to be feeling. Olivia Wilde always looks bored to me. I usually look the same way when she's on screen. Kumar makes himself at home checking out the files on CTB's computer and trying to justify how this invasion of privacy is medically relevant. Hadley just wants to leave. But Kumar finds a folder called "travel" and hopes it'll say CTB went to some disease-filled locale. But when he opens the files in the folder, there isn't much travel at all. It's just webcam movie of CTB sitting on her couch. Oh, and there's Wilson taking a seat to her. Apparently, he's nervous about something. "I've never done this before!" he exclaims. "I have!" she purrs. And then they make out, at which point Hadley slams the laptop closed over Kumar's protests with a "not even close to relevant." Yeah, it's probably not, and why would you want to watch a video of two people you know having sex anyway? Gross, Kumar.
Hadley stands on the threshold of the bedroom and pouts. She's probably got all kinds of mental images of what goes on in there now, thanks to Kumar's snooping. Kumar wants to turn those mental images into real one, and tries to makes a case for watching the homemade porn, to which Hadley snarks that unless they're having sex on a pile of asbestos, she doubts it'll give them any clues. Hee hee. Then Hadley loses me when she scolds Kumar for not watching the video because he knows the patient, saying if CTB was a stranger he'd be watching. Um, he'd be watching this one too if you hadn't slammed the computer shut on his fingers. And he's still trying to watch it! So the only person altering her behavior right now is you, Hadley. "We shouldn't be treating her at all," she says, shaking her head. Okay, that's a good point. But it's not very nice of Hadley to point out when writers put things on the show that would never, ever happen in a real hospital. It's called dramatic license, Hadley. Kumar gives up on Hadley doing her share of the work and goes off to search the bathroom.
House writes on the Whiteboard and then sits back and stares at it, willing it to give him an answer. It doesn't, but that's cool because CTB has made a miraculous recovery and is standing in House's office right now wearing a smart red pantsuit. Oh, but it's not actually CTB; it's a dream. He asks her what symptom he saw, suggesting a myoclonic jerk. "BORING!" CTB says. House starts to wonder if he took too many Alzheimer's pills and is not floating around someone else's subconscious, for his loves rare neurological symptoms. Rare, my ass! Didn't we see one last week? Or did House just suspect Driver had one? Either way, we saw one in the first season, and we've seen it enough that I know how to spell it well enough to override my spellchecker. CTB just wants to know what they did together while she pours him a glass of sherry. House asks if that means they met for a drink. CTB asks if that's all they did, tooting her own horn by saying House thinks she's beautiful, smart, and always has to get everything she wants -- "the things he likes about himself." House likes that he's beautiful? Really? I didn't know he was all full of himself like that. Cockiness always makes a man less attractive. With that, CTB takes a seat on House's lap and says she always liked House's mind and his blue eyes. But stupid Wilson was around, so they had to meet up in a random bar to get away from him. "Do I feel familiar?" she asks, as House seems to be enjoying this part of his dream. "What do you feel?" CTB asks. Then she finally decides to answer one of her own questions: "electricity." With that, House wakes up with a start that knocks over the cup of coffee that his recent heart attacked body shouldn't be drinking anyway.
House finds Cuddy and Wilson in CTB's room and says he has an idea of how to access his memory and remember CTB's symptom. Cuddy turns it down without even hearing what it is. House ignores her and says they can do some "deep brain stimulation" and zap parts of his hypothalamus. Cuddy points out the danger inherent in drilling holes in a fractured skull and then zapping an injured brain with lightning bolts. Wilson sighs that Cuddy is right. One of CTB's monitors makes a beeping sound, and Cuddy says CTB's brain activity just spiked. Wilson is excited, and starts calling out to CTB, asking her to wake up. "Random spikes are common," House points out. "Shut up!" Cuddy whispers to him. That was a nice little illustration of how truly oblivious House is to other people's feelings. He'd rather take the opportunity to show off his medical knowledge about random brain spikes than consider that Wilson might not want to hear it right now. And even when Cuddy points that out to him, House doesn't even look apologetic. He gets a page from the Cottages and asks Wilson to ask CTB if they can leave.
House enters the conference room, and the Cottages are obviously not thrilled to see that he brought Wilson with him. Choosing their words carefully and eyeing Wilson, they say the angiogram and the tox screen came out negative. Wilson asks why they'd make a big deal out of negative results. So now they have no choice but to come forward with the real reason they wanted House there. Kumar hands House a bottle of pills he found in CTB's apartment. CTB's been hiding prescription diet pills, amphetamines, and anti-depressants in a bottle of vitamins. The diet pills, Taubs points out, can damage a heart. Wilson says there's no way CTB was taking enough of them to do that. He would have noticed if she was. House points out that Wilson didn't know she was taking them at all, and since she hid them in a bottle of vitamins, she obviously didn't want him to. Why would she take them now? She's skinny. Either she had a secret fat past or current self-esteem issues. Shame on House for thinking it was a good idea for Wilson to be there in the first place. Foreman wants to get CTB's heart beating again so they can do a definitive test that will prove diet pill damage, but Wilson says they're not going to do that because starting her heart could kill her if they aren't right about the diet pill damage. House defers to Wilson and tells them to test CTB's heart without getting it beating again by cracking her chest open and sticking a finger in the valve and feeling around for damage. Boy, does that sound like a terrible idea. I wouldn't even try to fix my plumbing that way, let alone someone's heart. Foreman points out this is not exactly a safer (nor, I have to imagine, accurate) way to do the test, but House says it's better than CTB's heart blowing out if they restart it and the diagnosis is wrong. "When did we start assuming we're wrong?" Foreman asks. He starts to point out that they're treating this case differently because of who the patient is, but House won't hear it, and he's the boss.
Everyone takes off except for Hadley, who House calls back for a chat. He correctly suspects that Hadley didn't have a whole lot to do with the apartment search and points out that she's offered nothing in the differentials and is now less useful than a blow-up doll. That's not true! They could tell Hadley to stand with her arms out and use her as a coat rack. Hadley is so thrown off by this case that she forgets who she's talking to as she tries to explain her mental anguish over knowing the patient to House, who would never, ever care about that kind of thing and will probably use it as ammo to make fun of her in the future. Never reveal your weaknesses in front of House, Hadley. You know better. Indeed, House says he doesn't care about her stupid problems and orders her to get over them and do her job. Hadley joins Chase and the Cottages in the OR, but just barely has time to scrub in before Chase notices that CTB's eyes are yellow, indicating liver damage. And since diet pills apparently don't affect the liver, they already know that's not the problem before they had to stick their fingers in CTB's heart. Hmm! I guess it's not such a bad thing to assume you're wrong when you actually are, eh, Foreman?
Back in the conference room, which someone has decided to let Wilson sit in on, Foreman says that whatever CTB has, it's spreading throughout her system despite the cold. Hadley actually comes up with a diagnosis, so I guess House's little non-pep talk was effective. But House is too busy trying to take clues from his dream to pay attention to her. He wonders what the significance of CTB pouring sherry is, and says so out loud. For this, he gets a weird look from Taub and ignored. Taub clearly thinks House is crazy and has decided to treat him as such. Taub suggests warming CTB back up so they can run more tests, which Wilson, of course, rejects. In fact, Wilson wants to turn the temperature on CTB down to slow the spread of the disease even more. Because being frozen isn't deadly at all. It's totally healthy, and that's why humans freely roam Antarctica without any protective gear. It's like a spa down there! The Cottages shoot each other glances and let Taub do the dirty work. He says that he knows Wilson loves CTB and stuff, but freezing her isn't a cure -- it's avoiding reality. House's contribution to the conversation is more talk of sherry and why CTB would be drinking it in his dream if she doesn't in real life. Kumar comes through and says there's a bar in town called Sharrie's, and that triggers a memory of a Sharrie's coaster and Fred Durst. House tells the gang to fill CTB's lungs with slurry while he and Wilson go out for drinks. I'm not that familiar with slurry, but it sounds like something you don't normally want anywhere near your lungs.
House and Wilson arrive at Sharrie's, where they're greeted by Fred Durst, who throws House his keys and some attitude. House asks if he was with a blonde woman the other night, and Fred says she joined him around scotch number seven. When asked if she looked sick, Fred says she sneezed, but he can't remember the color of her snot when House asks. He also calls CTB House's "girlfriend," which makes House look very uncomfortable indeed. He immediately denies it, which only digs his grave deeper because Fred says for a non-girlfriend, House seemed "into her" and she bought his drinks. "Last night, she was your girlfriend," Fred says. It doesn't take much to qualify to be a girlfriend in Fred's mind. House flashes back to a shot of him with his arm around CTB, smiling. And she's smiling back. Incriminating! House brushes this aside and says CTB's snot may have had blood in it, and he's pleased that they have a new symptom of sneezing. Wilson just wants to know why Fred thought House and CTB were dating. This is not the time to be a jealous boyfriend, Wilson. You probably have a right to, but you don't really have time for it. Maybe when CTB is at a normal body temperature and her heart is beating and she isn't in a coma.
Hadley prepares to slurry up CTB while Kumar scribbles on a clipboard. He's still paying more attention to the task at hand than Hadley though, as she almost connects the wrong tube to CTB's body. Okay, she needs to be taken off this case. Like, now. And then not seen again for the rest of the episode. I wonder which tube she was trying to connect to CTB's lungs, though. Kumar tells her to stop treating this case like it's different than any other case, and she asks him why he isn't as bothered by it as she is. He points out that his last name is Kutner, and that Hadley should automatically know that an Indian with a non-Indian last name has dead parents in his past. I would have just assumed that either Kutner was an Indian last name or that his dad wasn't Indian or maybe changed his last name somewhere along the line, if I took the time to think about it at all. I certainly wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that his parents were dead. Apparently, Kumar was helping out in his parents' store (do not tell me Kumar's Indian parents ran a freaking convenience store. Shame on you, writers!) when a guy walked in to rob it and shot them both. I guess Li'l Orphan Kumar was adopted by a non-Indian family and he took their last name, which isn't really honoring his dead parents' memory, is it? But I guess he's over it now, having taken years to accept their death and that death isn't fair, but it happens. And with that, it's time to fill up CTB's lungs. We get to see it happen in special X-ray CGI vision. It still doesn't look like a good idea.
House enters the lab and already knows what results Foreman and Taub got from CTB: she has hepatitis B. He turns to leave to tell Wilson the great news, but Foreman tells him to get some sleep already. Foreman will tell Wilson instead. How about none of them tell Wilson since he isn't a family member and therefore has no right to CTB's confidential information? For that matter, where is CTB's family? We're going to get to meet them, right? I want them all to be played by Anne Dudek. She can wear a wig and a fake moustache to be Daddy CTB, and a bun and grey streaks to be Mommy CTB. That would be cool.
Instead of sleeping, House visits CTB. She opens her eyes and tells him that hepatitis B is a "lame diagnosis." House is just annoyed that he can't get a decent night's rest without an attack from his subconscious. CTB sits up and removes the probes on her head and the wrap around her abdomen. "Hep B doesn't fit," she says, showing something off to House on the small of her back that we don't get to see. A tramp stamp? I expected more from you, CTB.
Now actually awake, House goes to CTB's room and tells Foreman and Taub to turn CTB over, remove the wrap around her stomach and check out her back. Sure enough, they find a rash under her bus crash bruises. Foreman asks House how he could possibly know that was there. House says he must be starting to remember. The three of them might want to make a deal not to tell Wilson that House "remembered" seeing the small of CTB's back.
After the break, House inspects the rash while the Cottages theorize as to what could have caused it. Taub isn't even looking at the rash and says he thinks it's an influenza rash, but Foreman dismisses that, saying the flu wouldn't be causing these problems. Hadley says it could be an allergic reaction to the interferon they were giving CTB for the hepatitis she apparently doesn't have now. House angrily says that must be some allergic reaction, since he noticed the rash when he was on the bus with CTB two days before the interferon was administered. Hadley stands up, folds her arms across her chest, and tries not to cry. Wilson just wants to know why House would have gotten such a good look at CTB's back the other night. Okay, why did they tell him? Someone needs to kick Jealous Judy out of the room. This isn't helping. Foreman suggests that the mark isn't a rash, but an abscess. House orders Hadley to stick a needle in it and see if pus comes out to check. Of course, Hadley wants to do an ultrasound instead. House has no time for this and orders Taub to do it because unlike some Cottages, he isn't afraid to touch the nearly dead woman. Hadley protests, which just gets her yelled at by House in front of everyone. She leaves to cry, and Taub gets no pus from the needle stick.
Foreman finally comes up with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and Wilson mentioned a dinner with "a friend" last week that included walking the friend's dogs. It's possible that CTB got a diseased tick from one of the dogs. Now it's House's turn to be all jealous that CTB and Wilson have been seeing other friends behind his back. Not like those friends are that great; they made you walk their dogs! Lame. Foreman says they'll pump CTB full of antibiotics, wait eight hours for them to take effect, and warm her back up and hope she's cured. Wilson doesn't want to do any warming until they have a positive test result, but Foreman says that will take too long, and treatment is the better test in this case. And yet, Wilson refuses to let them restart CTB's heart until they're 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. Foreman points out that that's impossible. Wilson makes a variety of facial expressions, and House tells Foreman to follow Wilson's orders. "He's wrong. And you know he's wrong!" Foreman protests; "you can't change your mind just because a family member starts crying!" Maybe this is a conversation Foreman and House should have, like, outside the room. You know, away from Wilson? But they didn't, and House tells Foreman to run the cultures. Foreman glares at Wilson, who averts his eyes.
Ha ha! Hadley actually is crying in the bathroom! At least she's locked herself away from the public so no one can see her shameful display of emotion, unlike Cameron who used to cry all over the scientific equipment. Because PPTH is a very small place, House has figured out where Hadley is and taken the adjoining stall. He kicks her foot with his. Someone put a "vote for change '08" bumper sticker on the stall wall. I can't figure out if it's a subliminal message to vote for Obama or if they're trying to equate Obama's campaign with toilets. Either way, I don't need to see the prop department's political views on display. Although a "legalize it!" bumper sticker would have been funny. Hadley admits that she is screwing up this case, and she doesn't know why; it's not like she liked CTB. House thinks it's about fear, and that seeing a young female doctor dying hits too close to home for Hadley. Hadley opens the stall door, only to find House standing right there. He moves fast for a guy with a bad leg and a broken skull. Here's an annoying line: "yeah, I am at risk for Huntington's. I dealt with it." House points out that avoiding the issue by refusing to get tested isn't exactly dealing with it. And yet, he's perfectly happy to let Wilson avoid the issue of CTB's possible death by turning her into a popsicle. Hadley points out that House is the "champion of not dealing with [his] problems," to which he says he's done holding her hand now, so either she goes back to work and actually does her job right, or she packs her bags. I have to say, House is being remarkably patient, caring, and concerned here. You know, for House. But Hadley doesn't appreciate that at all and tells him he's screwing this case up worse than she is. Yeah, well, until House tries to connect CTB's catheter to her lungs instead of the slurry tube, Hadley, I wouldn't talk. But her words cause House to bang his hand on the stall in frustration.
Music time! A guitar plays a familiar tune, although I can't place it -- until the singer comes in and I realize it's an acoustic guitar version of the House theme song, which is really cool. Cameron stops by the cafeteria to hang out with sad Wilson and semi-justify her existence on this show. House takes a nap in his office. Hadley takes a sample of her own blood for fact-facing test results. Foreman stands over CTB and checks his watch. Apparently, it's tattle o'clock, because Foreman's stop is Cuddy's office, where he tells her that House is going to kill CTB.
And when Wilson goes to check on CTB, he finds her covered in blankets with Foreman and Cuddy standing over her like the Angels of Death. Cuddy says they're going to restart CTB's heart, and are raising her body temperature to do so. Wilson is not pleased about this development at all, and he frantically rips the blankets off and says they still have time to "undo" what Foreman and Cuddy are clearly dead-set on doing. Unfortunately for them, Wilson notices that CTB's brain waves aren't looking so good, which means that not only do they not know what's wrong with CTB again since the antibiotics clearly didn't work, but they've also let it spread to her brain by warming her up. I guess House was right after all.
After the break, the Cottages work to cool CTB back down while Wilson and Cuddy scream at each other in House's office. Wilson is (understandably, considering the situation) out of his mind angry, saying that Cuddy went behind both his and House's backs and made CTB even worse. Cuddy's weak counter-argument is that they have a new symptom, which should help in the eventual diagnosis. She says that House would have done the same thing if Wilson hadn't "guilted" him into keeping CTB cold, then turns to House and asks if he has any ideas now that they have this new symptom. House says an autoimmune disorder fits best. They should put CTB on prednisone and warm her back up. Okay, this freezing and re-heating thing cannot be a good idea. I wouldn't even do that with my dinner leftovers. CTB is going to get, like, ice crystals and stuff. Wilson points out that if they're wrong and CTB has an infection, the prednisone will destroy her immune system and she'll be a goner. Cuddy quietly reminds Wilson that House is the doctor and Wilson is the family, so he should back off. Then she wisely runs out of the room so she doesn't have to deal with the fallout.
Wilson all but begs House not to do this, but House says an emotional plea is not a sound argument. Wilson kicks something and storms out, only to walk back in. This time, he looks a lot less angry and much more sad. He admits that Cuddy was right that he wanted to keep CTB frozen because he thought it could make everything stop. House nods and says CTB will be okay. But Wilson didn't just come back to apologize -- he has a favor to ask. And it's a doozy, as we can tell by Wilson's reluctance to even say it. But he does. He asks House to try that electric brain zapping thing he suggested before to recover his memories so he can be absolutely sure that the rash was the symptom he saw before the crash. Wilson is afraid that there's another symptom out there that they're missing, the one that could be the key to a definite diagnosis. House thinks for a minute and it looks like his eyes tear up and he's kind of human. He asks if Wilson is suggesting that he risk his life with the brain zapping thing to possibly save CTB's. Basically, he's asking if Wilson is saying that CTB's life is more important to him that House's. And guess what? It is. Which means House might as well do it, because he has nothing left to lose.
Chase the surgeon is somehow responsible for this delicate brain operation. He drills holes in House's skull while House stares at Wilson, possibly willing him to change his mind. But Wilson doesn't, and Chase sticks the electric probe into House's brain. Wilson turns it on, but all House sees is a black-and-white shot of Fred with no sound. Can memories really do that? Lose sound and color as they fade away? I have a photographic memory so I honestly don't know. It's either there or it's not for me. There is no in-between. House orders Wilson to jack up the voltage so he can see and hear everything. Wilson does, and the flashback is complete.
Fred takes House's keys away and sticks them in the register like a responsible bartender. A drunk House picks up his cell phone and either it's out of batteries or he doesn't want his number showing up on the caller ID of whoever he intends to call, so he asks Fred for his phone instead. He dials a number, and Wilson appears in the bar in his scrubs to ask who House is calling. "Wilson," House answers. But Wilson was on call that night. So CTB was the one who answered the phone. House says he told her to get Wilson and have him pick him up from the bar, because he's a user who doesn't know how to dial a cab or drink responsibly. None of which is surprising. Instead of Wilson, though, it's CTB who shows up at the bar. House is even drunker now, and he whines that he wants Wilson to come pick him up, not her. She says Wilson's working, so she's doing her boyfriend a solid and picking House up herself. You've really got to love Wilson to pick up House on his behalf, I have to say. She tugs at House's arm to go, but he wants more drinks. And he wants CTB to have one, too! He's almost nice when he's smashed. He asks CTB what she wants. She just wants to leave. But he uses his super brain to remember Wilson buying cranberry juice and guesses her drink of choice is a cosmopolitan. Either that or Wilson had a UTI he was trying to get rid of. I kind of like that House and Wilson apparently go grocery shopping together. And that House pays that much attention to what Wilson gets. House orders another scotch for himself and a cosmo for CTB, threatening to drink them both if she won't drink hers. If I were her, I'd let House drink his little girly drink, but she just wants the path of least resistance, so she says if she drinks the cosmo, then House will leave voluntarily. They seal the deal with a toast, and both of them down their drinks in like two seconds. Yes, that's a good idea when you're about to drive a car, CTB. Nothing like getting hit with the alcohol buzz when you're in the middle of a left turn! House tries to order another round, but CTB sneezes. She wipes her nose, and House can now see that the snot (which he apparently studies even when he's drunk and doesn't know that it could be an Important Clue later on) looks like regular old snot. There's no blood in it. Thanks for letting us all see that though, show.
House gets up and starts to limp out of the bar without his cane. CTB throws his arm around her shoulder to help him walk, but then Fred demands that someone pay for all of House's drinks while he says he's taking the bus home. I think he only wanted Wilson to come pick him up so that Wilson would pay for all of his drinks. Now CTB gets to do it. She lets House go to pay his tab, and her uncharacteristic kindness here bodes not well for her future. Or for her having one. House plops himself down on a bus seat, but there is no escape from CTB. She appears with the cane that he left at the bar and sits down across from him. So she was on the bus because she was being nice and giving a cripple who has made her life nothing but difficult his cane back after paying for his eight rounds of scotch and one cosmo. She probably paid his bus fare, too. Oh, and she's not even feeling very well. She sneezes again and says she's coming down with "that nasty flu." In my experience, when you come down with the flu, it happens quickly. Like, by the time you finish the sentence "I think I'm coming down with the flu," you're lying in your bed with a high fever wishing you were dead. Wilson asks if this could all be because of the flu, but House says that only explains CTB's rash. Taub called that, by the way. Go Taub! "Unless ... " House says, and his eyes bulge in horror in both his flashback and in present time. He watches CTB take out a pill bottle. She downs a few pills as House whispers "don't do it." But she does. It's odd to see House telling someone else not to swallow pills, by the way. It's like Opposite Land.
"It wasn't the flu," House says, but he doesn't look very happy to have finally solved the mystery; "it's what she did for it. She has amantadine poisoning." I guess those pills were prescribed to her by the same guy who put her on those prescription diet pills. That guy needs to stop prescribing heavy-duty medicines for tiny problems. Wilson figures out the rest: when CTB's kidneys were shut down in the bus crash, she was no longer able to filter out the amantadine, causing her to overdose, which affected her heart, liver, brain, etc. Wilson says they just have to put CTB on dialysis to get rid of the amantadine and she'll be as good as new, but the look on House's face suggests that it's not going to be that simple. Plus, we already know (and Wilson apparently forgot) that CTB has been on dialysis since she was brought into Craphole General. Sure enough, House explains that amantadine is a little bastard that binds with proteins and therefore can't be filtered out of the blood with dialysis. "There's nothing we can do. I'm so sorry," he says, and the sad music comes back but I won't be sad! We have fifteen minutes left in the show so obviously House is going to figure out a way to save CTB. Happy ending surprise! Yay! In the flashback, CTB is still sitting on the bus, blissfully unaware that she's just taken a dose of poison and of the bus crash that's about to happen. In the present time, House is crying. Not because he's sad about CTB, I suspect, but because of his own guilt and possibly because he actually has sympathy for Wilson, something I didn't know House was capable of until now. Then the bus crash happens again, and House in present time has a seizure and knocks over medical equipment but I'm sure that's one of those good seizures that helps you think of ways to cure amantadine poisoning.
After the break, Foreman tells the kids that House had a "complex partial seizure." What was partial about it? It looked pretty complete to me. Anyway, his shaking opened up his skull fracture even more, so now his brain is bleeding again and he's in a coma. Oh, great. Nice one, Wilson. Now both your girlfriend and your best friend are in comas! Being friends with Wilson dramatically increases one's risk of being comatose, it seems. Foreman says they won't know if House suffered any brain damage until he wakes up. If he does suffer brain damage, let's hopes it the kind that Foreman had when he was sick for those two episodes in season two, where he forgot how to tell his right and left hand apart but then was totally fine.
Over in CTB's room, Chase is having no luck restarting her heart. Back in the conference room, Foreman says that the amantadine poisoning caused CTB's heart to race. And once it stopped in that ambulance, it was over. In the end, it didn't matter whether they shocked CTB's heart or froze her. The end result would have been the same, and it's not a good one. Kumar goes through the motions of suggesting a heart transplant, but there's no chance of that with the damage the rest of her organs incurred. Foreman repeats what House said to Wilson: there's nothing they can do now. There was nothing they could have done. I'm guessing Craphole General couldn't have done anything either. CTB's fate was sealed the second the bus crashed into her kidneys.
Wilson stares outside a rain-soaked window. Cuddy comes up behind him and says CTB is still alive, "technically." They could take her off the anesthesia and wake her up in time for Wilson to say good-bye. This will also give House enough time to wake up from his coma and fix CTB. Good! Wilson thinks it would be cruel to wake someone up to die. I don't know. I guess if it was me, I'd want to be as conscious as possible for my last hours of life, even if they wouldn't be very pleasant and I probably wouldn't take the news of my impending death very well. But still -- it's better than nothing. Fortunately, the chances that I will experience something like this are quite small, since I've only gotten the flu once in my life and I never take the bus. Therefore, I will live forever. Hooray for me! Wilson can't even get the words out when he repeats that he would be waking CTB up to tell her she's dying. He cries instead. Cuddy hugs him and says he's waking her up so that they can both say good-bye. And if they have time after that, they can also talk about how House finally managed to drive them apart. Maybe even plot some beyond-the-grave revenge. "She would want it," Cuddy says. Which means it doesn't matter that Wilson wouldn't.
Chase leaves Wilson with CTB and a comforting pat on the shoulder. She wakes up and smiles at her boyfriend. Then she realizes that he's really upset and she's on a bypass machine. "I shouldn't have gone on the bus," she says, remembering what happened. Wilson says it's not her fault. But he clearly thinks it's someone's fault. And I doubt he's blaming the driver of the truck that hit the bus, which he should if he's going to blame anyone. "How bad?" CTB asks, although I think she must already know the answer. Wilson explains it in purely medical terms. He does not say that her heart problem was caused by the amantadine she took. But CTB is a doctor too, so she guesses "the flu pills?" Wilson just says "yeah." "I'm dying," she realizes. She looks terrified. Anne Dudek is amazing. I'm going to be so happy when House wakes up and saves her. What's taking him so long, anyway?
Meanwhile, in the conference room, Hadley decides they should go and say good-bye to CTB. Why not? Apparently her parents live like a billion miles away and therefore won't arrive in time to do so, nor will any of her friends, of which we know she has at least one. I guess she had to walk her dogs and couldn't make it to her friend's deathbed. Bitch. "She didn't even like us," Taub says. "We liked her," Kumar says. "Did we?" Taub asks. "We do now," Foreman says. Hell yeah, you do. Just because CTB wouldn't sleep with you doesn't mean you get to be an asshole to her when she's dying, Taub. Even Hadley is handling this better than you right now. Taub wants to know what he's supposed to say. Kumar says they don't have to say anything.
So they don't. In a music montage, they stroll past CTB's bed and non-say their good-byes. Kumar just stares at her and leaves. Taub blows her a kiss, which was totally sweet. Foreman spends most of his time looking at Wilson. Hadley gives CTB a hug. Sniff, sniff. But I won't cry. Because then I'll feel so stupid when House cures her and she's fine.
Wilson and CTB cuddle until CTB says she's tired. "I think it's time to go to sleep," she says. Wilson doesn't want her to go. He wants more time. She says they'll always want more time. They won't get it. Until House runs up and cures her, of course. Wilson says doesn't think he can turn the bypass machine off. It's kind of cruel of them to make Wilson have to do that. Couldn't Cameron have done it via remote control instead? "It's okay," Amber says. "Why is it okay with you?" he asks; "why aren't you angry?" Her answer is simple: "that's not the last feeling I want to experience." There will be no rage against the dying of the light for Amber. After all that attitude, all the coldness, the cutthroat bitchiness she displayed, she's going to end her life smiling and in love. They kiss, and Wilson turns off the bypass machines. Um ... House is running out of time here. And then ... Amber dies. Wait, what? Where's House?
Oh shit! He's still in the coma! NO!!! They killed Amber! I guess I'm not surprised. I had a feeling this was the only way this would end. It still hurts though! I liked Amber better than most of the regular cast. I guess we were supposed to; that's why it sucks extra hard that she's dead. But she's not gone yet. House wakes up in coma land. It's all white and he's sitting on a bus. Cool music is playing, too. And there's someone sitting to him. It's Amber, of course. She's looking much healthier than the last time we saw her. And in the afterlife, you get perfect make-up. "You're dead," he greets her. "Everybody dies," she says. Just like everybody lies. Everybody cries, too, when they watch this episode. House asks if that includes him right now. She raises her eyebrows and then the music stops. "Not yet," she says. Death has made her especially smug, by the way. I miss her already. House says he should be dead. He should be the person who died in the crash, not her. Because he's a drug addict who hates people and she's a "young do-gooder in love" who was only on the bus because he dragged her out of her apartment in the middle of the night to pick his drunk ass up. "Life shouldn't be random," he says. "Self-pity isn't like you," CTB points out. Yeah, really. Where's the House who knew and accepted that life was random and didn't bother to protest it? Guilt changes people. Guilt, and comas. "Wilson is gonna hate me," he says. "You kinda deserve it," CTB says. House seems surprised by that. I guess it's different when someone else says it. "He's my best friend," House says. "I know," CTB says, but she offers no solutions. Just this: "what now?" House says he'd rather stay here with CTB. Because his other option is getting off the bus and waking up to a world where everything hurts and his best friend is gone. "It doesn't hurt here," he says; "I don't want to be in pain. I don't want to be miserable. And I don't want him to hate me." And yet, he's never tried to change those things before. Maybe he will now. I want him to change a little, I think. This should matter. Just not too much. "You can't always get what you want," CTB Jaggers. I cheered at that line, I really did. This whole scene was a great little callback to the things that made this show so great in the beginning, and I'm hopeful for Season 5. I guess House is too, because he gets off the bus. Amber looks beautiful and serene as she fades to white.
House wakes up. Cuddy's at his bedside, and insists on making her presence known. She asks him to blink if he can hear her. He does. She's incredibly relieved, and tells him not to try to talk, because she knows he'll ruin the moment with a crude remark about her boobs.
Hadley gets the results of her blood test back. WHAT! It's positive for Huntington's! WHAT! Okay, I did not see that coming. When people on these shows are at risk for Huntington's, they never actually get it! This show never ceases to surprise me. What now?
Taub goes home and we finally get to see his wife. She's sleeping, but he crawls onto the bed and hugs her tight without waking her up. Knowing the pattern this show has set, it's because she's dead.
Kumar eats cereal and watches TV like a child. By the way, when he was a child, his parents were GUNNED DOWN. And the milk in his cereal is probably spoiled and tastes bad.
Foreman's hanging out at the neighborhood restaurant by himself. Then there's a hand on his back and Cameron and Chase take a seat at his booth. Like old times! Yay! Except that the restaurant booth probably has termites and they're out of the nightly special Foreman was hoping to order. No one escapes pain tonight.
Last up is Wilson. He's standing outside House's room, watching him sleep through the window walls. If he was at Craphole General, he wouldn't be able to do this. House wakes up and sees Wilson there. He tries to read his expression, hoping he'll get something good but not expecting it. Wilson just turns around and walks away. That's not a good sign for that friendship. I don't know how Wilson can really blame House for this once he's had some time to get past the grief and think about it. House didn't cause the bus crash. He didn't even want Amber to be on the bus. He didn't make her take amantadine. But House did want Wilson and Amber to break up, and Wilson can't help but think that he made sure he got what he wanted, in the end.
Wilson goes home and lies on the bed he used to share with CTB. He finds a note tucked under a pillow -- a note that Hadley and Kumar apparently didn't find when they were searching the place. "Sorry I'm not here. Went to pick up House. <3 A." That's the kind of note that makes you hate House as much as you loved Amber if you're Wilson, doesn't it?
Cuddy sleeps in a chair to House's bed, holding his hand. But he's not appreciating the one friendship he does have. He's too busy thinking about the one he just lost. What a great way to end this season. I wonder what we would have gotten this year if the strike hadn't happened. I guess we'll see more of it season. I hope I'll be here to see it with you, but you can't always get what you want. And that's only if you're lucky enough to know what that is.
What ails the staff at PPTH? We've got the diagnoses.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she's bored at work. Or you can try your luck emailing her at saramorrison@gmail.com with news that some Nigerian king died and she stands to gain ten percent of his fortune if she hands over her bank account info.