Ramsay orders the Red team to head back into the kitchen and make a goddamn decision on who's going to join Blue, ranting that it's not a fucking game show. Susan says she doesn't want to join Blue since Zach's going to be sticking around. Nedra seems a little reluctant herself, but says she'll do it. Blue looks like they'd rather have a leper suit up for them. They think that it's outright sabotage by Red. Nedra declares that she's not doing any punishments or lifting; this blue jacket is just a stepping-stone to her black jacket, she says.
The morning, the chefs arrive in Hell's Kitchen, to see large gift boxes decorating the tables, all of them in the colors of various countries. I don't see a red maple leaf on any of them. Ramsay starts talking about how today's chefs whatever-whatever about international cuisine, and they're going to be tested on it. And then a bunch of models (women only, of course) strut in wearing national costumes from each country, for reasons I can't figure out.
They have to spin a wheel with all the cuisines lifted, and Mary gets to choose her opponent -- she picks Jon, because she thinks Jon is the best on the Blue team so it would be very satisfying to beat him. She spins and it comes up Indian, so they'll be cooking with chickpeas, basmati rice, curry powder, lentils and masalas. Jon considers himself an expert in Indian cuisine, so he's excited.
Nedra decides to take on Ja'Nel. "Yeah, I picked you, bitch," Nedra says to us for some reason. Oh, right. They were buddies, but not they hate each other. I forgot. Up comes Thai and Nedra's worried, because she's never cooked Thai before. Their ingredients are kaffir lime, lemongrass, mango, coconut milk and jasmine rice. "I don't eat shit I don't know how to pronounce," declares Nedra. I'm about ready for Nedra to not be on my television screen anymore.
Susan elects to take on Zach, who promises to "beat the brakes off her ass," and they'll be cooking Japanese food: soy sauce, miso, bok choy, daikon (I will not type "daikon radish" as the show has it) and ramen. Susan says she loves Japanese food, and then proves how respectful she is to Japanese food and culture by bowing and saying, "Ah, konnichiwa," and then this show makes it worse by banging a gong.
That means Cyndi and Anthony will be cooking Greek: kalamata olives, yogurt, pine nuts, feta and grape leaves.
Then Ramsay makes everyone cheer for the women whose job it was to come out and stand there looking pretty, and then sends the chefs to the kitchens where they'll find their proteins. They have forty-five minutes to cook.
Look, I know Nedra's not the most refined person, but when it comes to cooking she could still probably avoid saying she's going to "pull something out of [her] ass." She also needs a reminder from Zach to start referring to Blue as "we" and not "you." Over in Red, Susan babbles nonstop and can't figure out the rice cooker. Zach, meanwhile, has never cooked Japanese, but not having any idea what he's doing hasn't stopped him yet, so he's ready to use "bok chewie." Then he makes what I guess is a joke, saying that Japanese food is just like Chinese food, which he knows because his one Korean friend told him so.
Time's up, and the cheftestants plate. Ramsay announces that the guest judge is the executive editor of Every Day with Rachel Ray: Dana Bowen. "This woman knows her food -- inside or out -- and around the world. It was a little intimidating," Anthony says.
They start with Indian: Mary's got a pan-seared lamb loin, crusted with garam masala, with grilled eggplant puree. She's nervous, because at the last minute she burned her basmati rice and couldn't use it (but we spent a chunk of time making fun of Susan for not knowing how to use a rice cooker). Bowen calls it beautifully done, and Ramsay says the lamb is delicious. "Maybe rice is overrated!" she squeaks. Then the judges try Jon's tandoori chicken with honey raita and pistachios, glazed the chicken with some honey. It's tender and delicious, and Bowen says the dish instantly announces it's Indian. She likes both dishes, but awards Blue the point.
Nedra brings up her curry broth with deep-fried calamari. Ramsay points out you don't often see that in Thailand, so Nedra pretends that she was trying to think outside the box and did that intentionally. Bowen says it's highly seasoned but she's not getting a lot of flavors. Ja'Nel has made a steamed halibut with lemongrass coconut broth. Nedra practically gags at how much Bowen praises it, and it's no contest: point for Red. Bowen's still complimenting Ja'Nel even after Ja'Nel has taken her place back in line.
Cyndi and Anthony's Greek: Cyndi has made a stuffed chicken roulade, and an orzo salad with mint. Bowen says it's delicious. Anthony has made a seared lamb, with yogurt sauce with plum and mint. They like it, but Bowen says the plum is muddying the flavor a little bit. Point for Red.
So Zach needs to beat Susan to salvage a tie. Susan has made a white miso dashi with sautéed baby bok choy, a sesame seared ahi with ponzu daikon salad on top. "It's very... that's fantastic," says Bowen, and Ramsay similarly loves it. Zach has made noodles with pan-seared chicken, napa cabbage and "bok chewie," and Ramsay's surprised look at Zach's pronunciation is, hilariously, the cliffhanger we go out to commercial on.
When we come back, even Nedra -- that noted adherent to perfect pronunciation of the Queen's English -- is making fun of Zach for that. It only gets worse as he calls it "soo-ey sauce" and admits he doesn't know what the herb is on top and that he doesn't know anything about Japanese cooking. Bowen judiciously notes it looks very "homestyle." See? Everyone mispronounces things! Right then, she mispronounced "like shit" as "homestyle." Ramsay notes that you don't see a lot of chicken on Japanese menus, and the best Zach can offer is that when you eat the chicken with the noodles, "it all comes together."
Actually, it's a little dry, says Bowen. And Ramsay says it's really more Chinese than Japanese, so it's a "no-brainer," and Red gets the point and the victory. Jon mutters that they got a new member and still can't win.
Red's prize: shopping at the world-famous -- did Ramsay say "Kitten" store? He digs around in his pockets for some spending money for them, and comes up with $2,000 for them to spend. (Nedra whines about how they're still in a recession, and she apparently can't afford bras. Well, I suppose, the amount of material needed, even at wholesale prices...) Then Red will be having lunch at Mr. Chow, with the floor to themselves, and they've also each won a new set of All-Clad Cookware. When the shrieking and high-fiving subsides, Ramsay tells Blue they have to receive the wine shipment, clean the stemware, cut limes and lemons and then prep both kitchens.
Nedra yells at us that she's prepared to tell her teammates that they're the reason they lost. While I agree with her that, yes, it is probably the team's fault that the team lost, one of the people she plans to chew out actually scored a point for Blue, which is one more point than Nedra earned.
Then of course she doesn't actually tell her teammates she's not going to lift anything, but just does that "I'm pretending like sliding the boxes a little bit in the truck is just as helpful" thing.
Oh, the store is "Kitson"! Never heard of it, but that doesn't mean anything. Red shop, Susan a particularly annoying stereotypical women-love-shopping! woman about it, and then they head off for lunch.
Back at Hell's Kitchen, Nedra is haranguing her new teammates about how much they suck -- Zach compares her to Charlie Brown's teacher. Over at Mr. Chow, the women feel great about not having gone to the Blue team. And now Nedra is worried about "Tweedledee and Tweedledum" (aka Anthony and Zach) prepping her station, because "They stupid as hell." Then she reorganizes her whole station, largely ignoring Ramsay's entreaties to hurry up. She's not endearing herself to her teammates, that's certain.
The chefs line up, and Ramsay warns them that with just four people on each team now, there's no place to hide and the Kitchen opens for service. Hey, look! It's "Kelly Hu" from Hawaii Five-0! Well, I've heard of one of those things, at least. It's Hu's table that gets the first app ticket into Red, and then Susan for some reason makes twice as much risotto than she's supposed to. But at least she makes it right, and this Kelly Hu person is suitably impressed. Ramsay advises Shannon to "literally" get her head out of her ass, which is -- on the face of it -- indeed advisable.
In Blue, Nedra's working with a distinct lack of urgency on appetizers, and then oversalts the risotto. "I don't see Nedra bringing anything extra to the team right now," says Anthony, who elects to take more of a leadership role and starts coordinating the ticket. The risotto is delicious.
In Red, Ja'Nel fucks up scallops. She apologizes, but Ramsay's not letting her off the hook without making everyone touch her disgusting raw scallops. His screaming (at Susan for the double risotto order again) takes us into commercials, and her refire passes muster.
In Blue, Nedra yells at Zach -- trying to help her out on apps -- to get out of her way, and Ramsay goes off, yelling that if he were them, he'd boot Nedra out of appetizers altogether. He points out the general disarray of the kitchen and wants someone with balls to step up and lead. He means it figuratively, presumably, but since he thinks Nedra should be out, it's literal too. Nedra doesn't have much choice but to accept a little help now and her risottos are good, but Red moves on to entrees apparently long before Blue does. Bad scallops and Ramsay goes ballistic. Four "fuck off"s" from him, one to each Blue member, and he kicks them out of the kitchen.
Ramsay's pissed, and with Blue out of there, he lets off some steam at Red, who -- despite being better than Blue, which isn't hard -- aren't exactly at the top of their games tonight. Ja'Nel in particular is terrified of screwing up again, and then she undercooks Kelly Hu's fish. "The one VIP in the house, and I'm ruining it," laments Ja'Nel, which is hilarious for so many reasons.
Then he throws them out of the kitchen. "Fuck me," mutters Cyndi as she's leaving, and Ramsay stops them, all "'Fuck me'? How about fuck you!" he yells. Well, that kinda was what she was saying, Ramsay.
We go to commercial wondering if poor Kelly Hu will ever get her food.
And then Ramsay tells Jean-Philippe to deeply apologize but they're shutting down service. Then he calls the teams back downstairs to tell them it's the worst service they've ever had (by which I assume he means at this point in the competition) and orders them to come up with one chef from each team for elimination.
Red seems more stunned that the usually solid Ja'Nel was such a problem tonight. Susan, naturally, is more than happy to base her decision on TONIGHT AND TONIGHT ONLY, and Ja'Nel has no problem appealing to the other two and saying, basically, "Who would you rather have on your team, me or Susan?"
In Blue, the men seem pretty clear that Nedra's gotta go up. Zach, in fact, seems to be enjoying it. Nedra goes nuts, accusing them of not prepping her station properly, and declares, "Fuck you, this bitch ain't going up," and stomps off to the bedroom.
The teams reconvene in the dining room, where Susan has to announce her own nomination. That means we get the always-fun, "I'm not sure" bafflement when Ramsay asks someone why her team is nominating her. He asks what mistakes she made tonight, and she says she didn't make any. "I guess they think you're the weakest person on the team," he says.
Ramsay asks Blue if they've made a decision. The three members not named Nedra say, "Yes, chef," and you can guess what Nedra says. "Oh, come on," says Ramsay, facepalming, speaking for every single viewer. He asks Jon what's up, and Jon says Nedra completely screwed them on apps, and Nedra interrupts to accuse the others of sabotaging her station. Zach does most of the talking for the anti-Nedra camp, with Jon coming in and Anthony not really speaking at all, probably realizing that the more Nedra rants the more deranged she seems.
Ramsay orders Susan and Nedra to step forward, and gives them thirty seconds each to explain why they should stay. Susan talks about growing and fighting or whatever. Nedra says she should stay on Blue because yesterday she decided to join Blue. OK...
Not a tough call, really: Nedra's gone. But we get a little Nedra montage -- aw, remember when she wanted to pray over that first dish on the first episode? She tells us she's had to fight her whole life, so she's not going to let one thing defeat her.
Back in the dining room, Ramsay tells the survivors that he knows they're focused on getting a black jacket, but they need to focus on getting a dinner service perfect first. He dismisses them. "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" Zach yells at us. Susan has revenge on her mind now, and hopes her teammates are embarrassed for nominating her. Good god -- she's confusing "not as bad as Nedra" for validation!
"Nedra wore a red jacket and a blue jacket, but after tonight's performance, I knew that she wouldn't be wearing a black jacket," Ramsay tells us.
week: Jon stabs someone! I think!
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. So long, Nedra. It was everybody's fault but yours. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.