Brian's proud of his team for finishing dinner service, which he figures is a major momentum shift. Meanwhile, Tiffany and Kimmie commiserate about how Barbie is the ONLY person dragging the team down, despite the fact that most of the team stunk out the place tonight.
Remember that Ramsay said their challenge was going to be a tough one? They're woken up early by a bunch of border collies let loose through the dorms, and then the contestants are ordered up and out of bed and into rubber boots and overalls, and Donald, 44, jokes that he's going to be Old McDonald on the farm. And then someone says "Get 'er done" which should be grounds for disqualification right there.
The teams are herded into the HK SUV fleet and taken out to a farm, where Ramsay is waiting for them in the middle of a pen. Kimmie talks a lot of bullshit about how she's from Tennessee so she's down to get dirty and at least today she's got overalls on so Hell's Kitchen's ass-crack pixilator can take the afternoon off.
Ramsay tells them he wants them to get really close to their ingredients. He whistles to some dudes who open the back of a livestock trailer, and out pour a herd of sheep. I find it hard to believe that their little hooves were able to sign the necessary release forms giving permission to be on the show, but they're here anyway.
Painted on their backs, and printed on ribbons around their necks, are ingredients. Each team is going to be making four lamb dishes, and the idea is to, one team member at a time, wade into the pen, grab a sheep and therefore earn its ingredient, and tag a teammate who will then do the same. Tiffany says she's not afraid of farm animals, and since she's already opened the door for cracks about Clemenza's weight, I'd like to suggest farm animals leave her alone out of professional courtesy.
Some cheftestants have more trouble with the challenge than others; Clemenza doesn't spook the sheep at all and is able to walk right up and simply grab the ribbon off one. The challenge's editing kinda had it looking like the men had an easier time of it than the women did, but in the end the women have one more ingredient, and it's back to HK.
They're going to make lamb steak, rack of lamb, lamb chop and ground lamb, and they have forty-five minutes to do so.
The teams split into pairs and divvy up the ingredients. Then Guy slices his finger and starts yelling like he's been shot, and it turns out to be a little booboo on the tip of his finger. Having recently had five stitches in my index finger, I'm on Ramsay's side as he mocks Guy for sounding like he got circumcised without any anesthetic. Guy keeps his mouth shut, and Justin's forced to more or less work on his own. Hey, you know who else made it seem like the injury was a much bigger deal than it turned out to be? You did, you stupid show! In your promos yesterday for tonight's episode! You made it look like someone almost died!
Anyway, Kimmie's trying a curry on the ground lamb, and Roshni seems to be worried that Ramsay's going to think it's her concept. I don't suppose you could tell him that it was Kimmie's idea, and besides, this only sounds like a problem if it turns out to taste like shit, doesn't it? While Robyn's mad at her team for convincing her to take the rack of lamb out too soon (it's always someone else's fault with Robyn, but I guess that's how everyone is on this show), Royce's already considerable ego is practically weaponized at this point.
Time runs out and the diners plate their dishes. Ramsay asks for the lambchops first, so Clemenza brings up his and Don's chop, against Tiffany and Danielle's. Red's got an anchovy and pine nut-crusted chop with a soufflé. Ramsay seems a little surprised she made one, and she says she thought it'd go nice. Ramsay calls it fucking delicious and says he'd pay a lot of money for that, which is high praise.
Clemenza and Don's chop is herb-crusted and grilled with a cauliflower feta melt. It's garnished with half a pine tree and Ramsay says it looks like Steven Tyler's earlobe. He tastes and says it's delicious as well, adding that it's a tough call, and winds up awarding a point to both teams.
Up Patrick's lamb sausage against Kimmie and Roshni's lamb curry. Roshni introduces it as lamb kibbeh on a bed of coconut curry, and yes Ramsay assumes it's Roshni's creation but Roshni tells him it was Kimmie, who wanted to try something she's never done. Ramsay wryly notes that he's the guinea pig, then, but he tries it and he's glad he did, because it's delicious.
Patrick serves an appetizer of lamb and fennel sausage. Patrick figures his presentation is much better, and Ramsay praises his creativity. He likes both dishes, but has to give the edge to Roshni and Kimmie.
Rack of lamb: Barbie and Robyn versus Justin and Guy. Barbie explains the rack of lamb with parsnip puree and braised leeks. Robyn's rolling her eyes back in the line and telling everyone that it's raw. Lord, shut up and let Ramsay discover it on his own. Which he does. He says he'd like to eat it, but he's got four children to look after. Heh. He calls over to Robyn, who snidely says she agrees that it should have stayed in longer, and "that's all I'm saying."
So Justin basically has to give him something edible, and he does: grilled rack of lamb with roasted garlic and basil puree, with turnips three ways. Congratulations, Blue, you've tied it up.
Finally, the lamb steak: Dana and Christina versus Royce and Brian. Red has a braised lamb steak with sautéed spinach. Ramsay calls braising it a bold move, but it works. It's delicious. Royce has a marinated grilled lamb steak with an avocado mousse and a mixed-pepper slaw. Ramsay says it's great and the flavors work perfectly. Two really good dishes, says Ramsay, and we'll find out after a commercial break, obviously.
And then Ramsay awards the point to the Blue team, and Brian feels like he just gave birth, sounding like someone who has never seen anyone give birth.
Ramsay praises the dishes across the board were phenomenal, except for Barbie and Robyn's raw lamb, so Robyn immediately starts yapping about how she did everything right and then blames whispers from the rest of the team about saying she shouldn't fuck up the lamb. Obviously, this doesn't sit well with the rest of them, especially given everyone else made really good dishes, and Robyn belatedly tries to pretend she's taking full responsibility for it. Although it's not like her weird "People telling me not to fuck up the lamb was what made me fuck up the lamb" explanation is doing her any favors. In an interview, Robyn says she's here to bury everyone else now.
The men's prize a VIP trip out for a day at the races. They all laugh and clap, and Clemenza asks for some cash to gamble. Ramsay, good sport, throws down a hundred dollars and tells him he wants it going on the horses, not hotdogs, and everyone laughs.
The men leave to go get ready, and Ramsay warns the women they have a lot of hard work ahead of them: primarily cleaning the asses of the lambs and then prepping the kitchens. May I suggest prepping the kitchens first?
The men are like children at the track, yukking it up and having a great time with their first challenge win. They bet Ramsay's hundred on a horse because it's outfitted in Blue, and it comes in dead last. Clemenza says he could win a race if someone tied a piece of prosciutto in front of him.
Back at HK, the women are now eating ... lamb testicles? No one's impressed with this, except for Kimmie, who hoovers down three before some have even had one. By the time she's on four, she starts to get annoyed because it's hard for her to shovel lamb balls into her mouth with the other women gagging around her. Danielle disagrees that Kimmie's better than her just because she can eat five lamb testicles, and I'm not sure anyone was positing that theory, but I agree with it all the same.
At the track, the guys take some time out for a bros-before-hos speech. And back at the kitchen, Danielle has finally had it up to here with Kimmie's negativity. "What, you think because you're five-hundred pounds I'm not going to say anything back to you?" she tells us. She confronts Kimmie in the kitchen, and Kimmie admits that she just felt like giving her attitude today, which Danielle calls mature. Amusingly, Kimmie DOES apparently think her testicle-gobbling makes her better than Danielle, and then things quickly devolve into a shouting match. Well, Danielle's yelling. Kimmie seems to find it amusing.
Blue team's back and ready to carry the momentum into dinner service, and James gets the go-ahead to open the restaurant. Unfortunately for Red, Danielle needs the very first order repeated. And then she fucks up the risotto, so things aren't off to a good start. A normal start, just not a good one.
Justin's on appetizers for Blue and Brian's on fish, so they're key to starting better than the women. But they serve up raw salmon for the cioppino. Danielle, meanwhile, seems to be falling apart, but so is Robyn on garnish. They're barely speaking to each other, but somehow appetizers are getting out. Brian gets the cioppino right and the men are able to move onto entrees.
Aaaand things go south again, with some raw cod. Cat food, Ramsay calls it. And then burnt cod. And then he runs OUT of cod. "What in the fuck are you doing?" snaps Ramsay.
An hour and fifteen minutes into dinner, and neither kitchen has sent out an entrée. I guess Red has the advantage, then, presuming they haven't run out of cod too. Ramsay decides to substitute the sea bass in Blue, and Brian says, "Coming right now, baby," and he's lucky Ramsay didn't leave him a bloody smear on the wall for that one! "You COOK like a fucking baby!" says Ramsay. Brian apologizes but Ramsay throws him out anyway. "What's the matter with that jerk?" he asks, which is actually the nicest thing he's been able to say all night.
Justin takes over the Blue fish station and does a better job of getting things going. Meanwhile, Roshni brings up some Wellingtons for her team's first entrees, but they're garbage and she's got to start again.
As for Don on the meat station -- well, Guy compares it to riding in a car while Don's driving, and Guy would put on seventeen seatbelts in the backseat. It's not because Don's moving particularly fast, though. For all the setup, though, Don serves up a perfect Wellington. Roshni, though? She has to keep taking the Wellington in and out of the oven because she can't get them ready. And even when she finally gets it up there, she serves up stone-cold raw Wellington, and Ramsay kicks her out of the kitchen, and Danielle takes over on meat.
Don's one-dish winning streak (well, I suppose there may have been more successful entrees) comes to an end with a raw sirloin that he serves up, despite Royce's warning him that it was raw. Although in his defense, who the hell listens to Royce? Then the jaunty clown music starts up as we watch Don try to make it right, and then he serves it up medium well, much to Ramsay's displeasure, and he's tossed from the service too. In a remarkably self-pitying interview, Don whines that he was trying his best, but that wasn't good enough for Ramsay. Christ almighty, have you ever seen even one episode of this show before?
Royce takes over on meat, while over in Red, Danielle brings up her Wellingtons, but Robyn, with a garlicky blast of garnish, and Danielle's cold sauce earn them a ticket out of the kitchen for the night.
In Blue, both Royce and Justin appear to both be cooking up two bass apiece for the same order, and their lack of communication (and, let's face it, functioning brain cells) gets them sent out too. Chefs are falling left and right tonight, it's great!
Two hours into dinner service, and more than half the chefs have been kicked out (we get a quick, fun montage of Ramsay ordering everybody out) and very few entrees have gone out. Justin points out that as chefs keep getting kicked out, it's difficult for someone to take over a different station and then perform flawlessly. Life isn't fair, Justin. Get a helmet.
Streamlining the kitchens, though, does seem to improve things, and both teams finish service. Afterwards, Ramsay chews them out over how painful it was to watch them disintegrate, like having a root canal and passing a kidney stone at the same time. However, the losing team is ... both teams, so each team has to pick two members to go up for elimination.
Clemenza says Don couldn't handle things, and Don points out he only screwed up one New York, so he's pretty pissed at the suggestion. Brian, on the other hand, was useless on fish. Royce knows "five monkeys" who could have done better, which is an oddly specific number. Patrick suggests Don and Brian for their rough night, and everyone else agrees. Brian figures he's one of the toughest chefs there, so he won't be going home.
As for Red, Robyn feels like it should be for whoever got kicked out, so we're thinking Roshni and Danielle. Roshni's worried about being up for elimination again, third time in a row. Christina puts up Robyn's name, and Danielle agrees that Robyn was sinking. I really enjoy the way the camaraderie of the day trips completely falls apart during these sessions. Kimmie's voting for Danielle, because she just went quiet during the service. Robyn again reiterates that three of them were kicked out, so they just pick two. Dangerous for her too, given how she blew the challenge as well.
The teams come back into the kitchen, with Blue serving up Don and Brian as the nominees. As for Red, Roshni is the first nominee, and the second nominee, Christina hems and haws. She probably realizes she's supposed to be waiting for the commercial break anyway.
When we come back, she finally spits out Danielle as the second nominee, and I'm sure she said "um" just twice and they just edited it over and over again.
All four step forward. Ramsay asks Roshni if she's honestly over her head, and a worried-sounding Roshni says she's a fighter and she can't go home yet. Danielle says she should stay because she hasn't had any problems apart from communication. Ramsay reminds her that it's an important part.
Don says he has a lot to offer the team, but Ramsay says his team doesn't believe in him. Brian says he should stay because he's a machine. "You're a WHAT?" says Ramsay, adding that he's not looking for a machine, because machines build cars and chefs are individuals. He says there's someone here whose head isn't in the game, and it's Don. Second night in a row that it's not a fakeout! Don surrenders his jacket and leaves Hell's Kitchen. He says he thought he'd be able to come in and Ramsay would love his food and he thought he was more of a perfectionist than he was.
Meanwhile, Ramsay informs the rest of them that based on tonight's performance, he's not done yet. "I'm not going on like this," he says. He sends Danielle and Brian back in line, and then demands Roshni's jacket.
She looks gutted, and then he tells her something really important: she's now on the Blue team. He hopes that a change in environment will result in a change in performance. Red team claps and wishes her luck and Blue team greets her. Roshni looks like she just escaped death, and is just happy to have a jacket on, so she doesn't care what color it is.
"Everyone in Hell's Kitchen starts at the bottom. Unfortunately, Don stayed there," Ramsay tells us.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He knows five monkeys who understand the concept of humility better than Royce does. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel[at]gmail.com.