All About Scallops!

S05E02

Customers arrive and order scallop and lamb and so on. The women give a rousing "Yes, Chef!" to their first order. Jean-Philippe checks to see that Robert and Paula have everything at the raw bar, and points out that Robert is sweating. Robert notes that he's 400 pounds. Back at the women's side, Carol has burnt the garlic so her risotto is slow. When it shows up, Ramsay asks "What is that?" roughly five thousand times, because most of the risotto is stuck to the pan. Carol starts over. Andrea interviews that she's going to have to take control no matter who she works with. On the men's side, Chef Ramsay deems Charlie's risotto undercooked. Also, he says, "No cream in there, no mascarpone, no seasoning, more ham in there." Charlie's excuse is that he has never cooked a risotto before, and Gordon doesn't believe it, but he's not as theatrically disbelieving as I am. Ben is assigned to show Charlie how to do it.

Robert brings raw shellfish around to the tables and shows people his koi tattoo (which is on his forearm, luckily for all of us). People seem to like him. Now, back to the kitchens. Colleen's scallops are sitting in the pans even though they are cooked. This apparently makes her a "stupid cow". Because Lacey made the scallops last episode, she's brought over to show Colleen how to do it. Also, Gordon has not forgotten that Colleen is a cooking instructor with no training of her own. Gordon checks on Ji's ankle, but only as an excuse to claim that he has a headache. Well, a [bleep]ing headache, technically. I guess that's worse than a regular one.

Ben has a replacement risotto. Scott and Chef Ramsay taste it and it's termed "delicious". Lacey's scallops are also good enough, which means Chef Ramsay can again harangue Colleen about getting cooking lessons without paying for them.

It's 7:23, an hour and a half into dinner service. Seth and Charlie have a lobster spaghetti with no lobster in it. This goes over about as well as you'd think, and Charlie is reduced to saying "We're stupid" as an excuse. Gordon demands that Seth tell him the name of the dish (which is "Spaghetti Lobster" according to Gordon), but all Seth can do is fumfer. On the red side, there is a burnt salmon that's raw in the middle and no John Dory. That's apparently Colleen's fault, and Chef Ramsay smells blood. He gets right in her face and demands that she admit that she doesn't really have a cooking school. Colleen responds, "I have a business just like you do." Gordon shouts, "You're robbing people! You're a thief! I'm concerned for the poor bastards that you've taken money off of!" As he shouts at her (and she visibly bites her tongue), she burns some salmon and she gets thrown out of the kitchen and over to the raw bar. Lacey's now on fish.