So Callie has pitched the idea that the crash survivors pool their lawsuit money and buy Seattle Grace in order to save it from slowly choking to death under Pegasus's thumb. Callie and Meredith are the most onboard, and Derek seems persuadable once his financial guy tells him it's not a totally insane idea (it helps that Derek's new status as the Pegasus poster boy is totally mortifying to him). But Arizona is dead-set against mortgaging Sophia's future, to the point where she's really insulting to Derek about his "egomaniacal" survivor's guilt, and Cristina basically laughs Meredith out of the room when she's told about it. So things look rocky.
But Cristina is convinced by two things: 1) the interns start talking about jumping ship, and Stephanie in particular is so Cristina-like in her mercenary zeal to be the best, and Seattle Grace is no longer where she can be the best; and 2) Owen tells her he doesn't really believe that the Pegasus deal will truly save the hospital. She ultimately can't tell Owen about the plan, as he's under a legal obligation to be loyal to Pegasus. She does find out that the sale is going down TONIGHT, though, and the only thing the doctors can do to stop it is to resign en masse, thus killing the sale. Owen looks like someone killed his dog by throwing his cat at it.
Arizona is ultimately convinced after Owen is forced to deny her and Bailey's request for genome mapping on a cancer kid, and Bailey makes it clear that she can't stay at a hospital like this anymore. So the doctors all quit, and the sale is dead, and they can't tell Owen, so he feels righteously betrayed, and we end on Callie, Arizona, Meredith, Derek, and Cristina at the Shepard-Grey manse, making plans to incorporate, while Owen stands in the rain, banging on Cristina's door. If this leads to Owen having sex with Cahill over some sense of abandonment, I will revolt.
In other news, Alex and Jo bond further while working on an infant bowel surgery. They see their story of co-workers whose sparring makes them a good team in the parents of the baby. So Alex loooooves her now, even though she's dating someone else. Also, April and Todd the Cute Paramedic plan their first date, and she actually goes to Avery for advice about it, and he manages to get past his jealousy to tell her to just be herself. Which lasts about an hour or so, until Todd confesses his terrible secret that he's saving himself for marriage, and April is so happy to hear it that she totally lies and says she is too, so that should lead to an unbearably annoying revelation in a few weeks.
We pick up right where we left off last week, with a somewhat manic Callie having just pitched the idea to Derek, Meredith, and Arizona that they buy Seattle Grace (/Mercy West? Is that still a thing?) in order to save it from the Pegasus scourge. Just a reminder about my policy towards voice-over on this show: I don't pay any attention to it. Nine years of watching this show have led me to physically tune it out, and on the rare occasion when I can actually hear the frequency on which Meredith's VO operates, I will only remark upon it if it makes crucial narrative sense to do so. Which it hardly ever does. Anyway, so Arizona wants Callie to keep it down because the babies just went down to sleep, but Callie is HYPED. She makes the case again: there will be no ER, no research, no time to interact with patients, and from the research she's done, any and all dissent from the doctors gets squashed, thus they all start leaving. Callie doesn't want to leave. "We have to buy the hospital!" Derek wants her to slow down, but Mere thinks she might be right. Arizona, however, is the most adamant of the four against the idea. She's not interested in hospital administration -- she and Derek have just now gotten back to work, after all. "Don't you want to just work?" Derek also chimes in that making your own decisions is not all it's cracked up to be -- he had that job once and he hated it. He mentions the deal he made with Pegasus to help facilitate the sale, though he doesn't get into the particulars of the gaudy posters. But he thinks maybe that's the way to make it work -- play their game but change things from the inside. Arizona wants to know what Hunt thinks, since he's pretty invested in the sale.
Yeah, about that: Cristina and Owen are busy trying out new things in bed. She's ignoring Meredith's calls, while Owen ignores a call from Cahill that causes Cristina's eyebrows to arch. Owen says she just wants to strategize about the sale. Cristina: "At 3am? I bet she does." He says the nurses threatening a walkout, which could threaten the sale, since basically if anybody leaves, it could lower the value of the hospital NOT LIKE WE'RE SAYING ANYBODY COULD LEAVE OR ANYTHING. But Owen ignores the call like a good husband. Cristina tries to assure him that nothing is going to threaten the sale, but she could be more convincing. Owen's got so much on his shoulders -- the fate of the whole hospital, in fact. It's easy to see why he'd want to stay in a bubble with Cristina for a bit more. (Also, kudos to Cristina for ignoring what must increasingly seem like a legit emergency from Her Person in order to give Owen her full attention. Seems like turning an emotional corner, to me.)
Back at the Shepherd-Grey manse, things have devolved into everybody talking at once, so much so that they've forced the camera to 360-spin around to capture them all. I sure hope one of them says something outrageous enough to shut the other three up! Well, kinda. Arizona asks if they're saying it will take ALL their lawsuit money to pull this off. Predictably, the money talk gets dicey. They only (only!) have $60 million between the four of them in lawsuit money (Callie and Meredith broach the subject of dipping into personal savings, but that's squashed pretty quick.) Callie then tosses in Mark and Lexie's shares ("is that rude of me?" she asks, while implicitly asking Meredith to deal with her awful father to pry Lexie's death payment away from him), which Arizona seriously objects to, since Mark's money is Sofia's and Callie definitely should have brought that part up privately. Cristina, then. Mere can't get her on the phone still, but she says Cristina would go for this. Arizona asks how she would know that. Callie and Derek, in unison: "She knows!"
Things really start to go south between Arizona and Callie. Arizona is really not keen about putting the money they've set aside for their daughter at risk just to maintain the happy fun way of practicing medicine they've been doing so far. It is FASCINATING to watch everybody rally around Seattle Grace as a way of life in these last few episodes given the last two seasons at LEAST have been dedicated to painting Seattle Grace as a death trap from which you would be lucky to escape alive. "This hospital is not something we lucked into," Callie argues. "It's something that we made." Webber sets a tone. Hunt sets a tone. It's something worth fighting for. She's rabble-roused so effectively that she woke the baby. Zola, not Sofia, though as Mere somewhat exasperatedly notes, one baby will inevitably wake the other. She goes to check on the kids. Meanwhile, Derek seems to be convinced by Callie's argument, which only causes Arizona to dig in harder. She's seen what horrible shit can lurk around the corners of their lives, and she'll be damned if they're going to take away any security that Sofia has to weather those kinds of things. Callie doesn't want their daughter growing up that way, always waiting for disaster. Derek starts to talk about the responsibility they have, and Arizona snaps at him that he's trying to make her feel like the selfish one, just because he feels guilty. You can see on her face she knows she doesn't want to go down that road, but Derek wants to know what she means. Callie imperceptibly shakes her head, but Arizona's already halfway there. She says that some of them died in that crash and others will live with challenges their whole lives (ahem), and since Derek didn't and won't AND got some money, he feels guilty. She might have just left it at that -- and lord knows Callie wants her to -- but she goes on to call out Derek's decision to sue, his hero complex, his "egomaniacal" selfishness that he's passed on to Callie through osmosis, I guess. "Everything that you've done to make it better has actually made it worse, so please: stop!" The whole thing sucks the air out of the room. Derek's wounded. Callie suggests they leave, and Meredith, returning from Zola's room, thinks that would be wise, lest she decide to step up and defend her family. Arizona is chastened but not apologetic. Good meeting, team!
After the credits whiteout and ads for shows about Nazi clocks and contrived courtship rituals, it's the day, and Arizona has at least calmed down enough to know she has to apologize to Derek. The Greys aren't really having it, though; Derek was particularly struck by "egomaniacal." Of course, they turn the corner and smack into a blown-up poster of Derek's face. The face of Pegasus. Arizona's not too noble to smirk "On the other hand..." and make her exit. Chief Webber is also staring at the poster, most troubled. Derek says Cahill told him it would mostly be brochures and handshakes, but this is ... more. Webber's like, "I hope you know what you're getting into." (Clearly he doesn't and just said as much.) "I mean, it's a great face," he says, "but this is a LOT of it." Is it THAT great a face, though? In 2013? Anyway, Derek and Meredith retreat to the elevator, where she admits it's pretty gross, what Pegasus is doing with his image. Their retreat upstairs is halted by Smash, who is enthusiastic to the point of needing to get slapped. He thinks the posters are GREAT, that Derek's head is GIGANTIC, that the upcoming EVM procedure Derek has scheduled is SUPER RAD. Meredith's like, "I know!" and asks Derek if she and Smash can look in. But Derek isn't performing the procedure, because Cahill wants him to meet the buyers. Literally taking him away from patient care to deal with awful bullshit. How better to crystalize their current dilemma? "He's the new face of the hospital now," Meredith chirps. "And the hair. Lucky us!" Derek can't hit that door-close button fast enough, if only to get the poster of his giant head out of his field of view. Only the closing doors ALSO have his EVEN GIANTER face on them split in two so it's only whole when the doors are closed. Nightmare.
Derek goes right to Cahill and Owen to bitch about the posters, but Cahill talks him down with optimistic talk about how his face projects a human side to the people operating inside the "clinically sterilized walls" of the hospital. Plus, you know, three different focus groups can't be wrong. She touches Owen's arm as she pulls him away to meet with the nurses, though he hangs back long enough to tell Derek how much it means to him to have someone alongside him in the fight to keep the hospital open.
In a parked ambulance, while the Seattle Ambiance (i.e. rain) falls down around them, April and EMT Matthew are making out like teenagers. He stops them and, after momentarily freaking her out with his "I don't want to do this anymore" phrasing, asks her out on a proper date. Tonight, in fact. April looks panicked, in that TV way where it's totally obvious to anyone with eyes, only the guy inches in front of her can't see it. He's nervous too and stumbles over his words. "I can't wait to see you out of those clothes" leads to a lot of stammering and backtracking. She gets what he means, though, and kisses him on the cheek. Outside the ambulance, though, she is seriously panicked about the date.
Elsewhere, Alex and Jo are working together on a sick baby. Sick with ... baby sickness. Look, this storyline is like the 86th most interesting thing happening on the show right now. Behind April's love life, if you can believe that. Behind Smash's relationship to Derek's face-posters. Behind wondering what Debbie Allen is doing right now and if she wants company. So if I kind of give you the gist of what's happening -- Alex and Jo are falling in loooooooovebarf -- without actually getting into the nitty-gritty of this incidental baby and its to-be-introduced incidental parents, you'll forgive me, right? The important thing right now is the hilariously awful plinky piano music trying to goose us into rooting for these two idiots to make it happen. They tell the parents that the baby needs surgery, and the parents are weirdly unresponsive about it. Alex pulls the dad into the hallway and learns that they're not married. Just an office hookup/broken condom situation that went south. Way south. The mom tells Jo her side of the story. The upshot is that they kind of hate each other but they're pulling together for the sake of the baby. I can't believe Grey's Anatomy is doing the thing where the case of the week is a mirror image to the personal lives of the characters. What a rip-off of Private Practice! Shameful, really.
Elsewhere, in another case of the week, this one less shamefully parallel, Bailey and Arizona consult with the father of a pediatric cancer patient. Chemotherapy and radiation haven't worked, and surgery could be hugely dangerous to the kid. The dad is at the end of his rope, just about, but Bailey has a bold proposal: genome mapping. You don't need to know the particulars of genome mapping and neither do I. The upshot is that it's a cutting edge, non-surgical treatment option that could be young AJ's only hope. They'll have to contract the procedure out to another facility, but Bailey expects the hospital advisory board to approve that today. Are we all appropriately ahead of the story yet? Good. Poor Dad starts crying and takes Bailey's hand in his.
Owen nervously goes over his talking points with Cahill outside the nurses' meeting. Cahill's like, "Don't be nervous, but also, if this doesn't go well, this hospital and everybody you care about are doomed." Seconds before he's about to enter the fray, Bailey comes up asking about the advisory-board's approval for her genome mapping. Owen doesn't know what she's talking about at first, and when she reminds him, he remembers that the board turned her down. She can't believe it, but Owen says it again: they said no. He looks sad about it, but he also doesn't have more than a second and a half to devote to it before he heads into the nurses' meeting. Bailey is thunderstruck at the bluntness of it all.
Out at the ambulance bay (the one they won't be needing much anymore, what with the ER closing; maybe they can turn it into a Derek Shepherd souvenir shop), Meredith is finishing up telling Cristina about Callie's buy-the-hospital plan. Cristina's reaction is to laugh her fool head off. They don't know the first thing about running a hospital. Meredith is like, "Yeah, well neither does Pegasus." Poor Mere is kind of embarrassed; she thought Cristina would be onboard. She brings up the alternative, which is that they all leave, but Cristina says they can't do that to Owen, who says if anyone leaves, the sale doesn't go through. Meredith again brings up buying the hospital as an alternative to that sad fate. "Did you know you'll have to file a declaration for land use for approval by the state Attorney General?" Cristina asks. Meredith's like, "Really?" Cristina says she has no idea, she just made it up to prove her point that none of them have any idea how to run a hospital. Mere again says she's surprised; she thought Cristina would be onboard "or would leave again." Cristina says to quit it with all the leaving talk. "Owen is killing himself trying to keep the hospital open. Can you please stop talking nonsense and have his back?" This interaction was fairly light, but I think this stuff where Cristina is shifting from a Mere-first person to an Owen-first person is leading to something.
April pops into Avery's liposuction surgery, because boundaries are for suckers in this place. She wants to talk to him about something but then backs off because it's the kind of thing they could talk about back when they were friends. Avery says they can be friends again and then works maybe a bit too hard to prove that he's being cool and loose about it, but it's sweet that he's trying. He says just to talk like she would have before they dated. It's about her date with EMT Matthew, though. Avery says he's cool with it -- he's seeing Stephanie, after all. So April proceeds to ramble on about the date and how the date will probably end up back at someone's apartment, and she doesn't know how to tell him that she was a virgin, and then she wasn't, but now she is again. Avery's kind of speechless at first, and April worries it was too much information, but he recovers to say that she should just tell Matthew what she told him just now. He won't care if she's a virgin or not. April's like, "He won't?" Avery says no. "He'll be worried that you're mentally ill, because you sound like a nutjob," he jokes, and April takes it badly and leaves in a mess of emotions. Oh, Jackson. You're too pretty to put up with this stuff.
Elsewhere, Cristina's doing a cool little heart surgery, with Stephanie and the one who is Tina Majorino whose name I won't be looking up so Tina it is assisting. Tina is especially impressed by the "crazyballs" nature of the surgery. Stephanie, however, is whispering to her about possible intern openings at other hospitals. Cristina catches them and demands they tell her what's doing on ("Mao say speak!"). Tina says they're looking elsewhere for jobs. Cristina asks why, and Stephanie explains that while Seattle Grace used to be THE hospital to get placed at (#1 in sexytimes!), now it feels like "automotive trade school." OUCH. Cristina is appalled at their lack of loyalty and gives them the speech about all the people working their asses off to keep this place open. Tina is apologetic, but Stephanie keeps it real: she's only got five years to get as good at this as she possibly can. She wants to be excellent and can't waste another minute. She asks Cristina if she would have stayed in a situation like this? Honestly? Looks like Cristina has an appointment with someone she needs to be honest with: herself.
Alex and Jo. Baby surgery. "Can people who hook up on the job make it work?" Is Jo gonna end up pregnant? Good lord, as if this could get worse. The baby is like, "Fuck it, I'm ending this idiot conversation right now" and blows an intestine or something. I appreciate your dedication, baby. Alex and Jo scramble to save the baby.
Smash comes running to answer Derek's page -- he thinks it's about the AVM surgery, but really, Derek is about to go to a Pegasus photo shoot. It's not real surgery, just dress-up, but since Smash seemed so keen on the posters, Derek thought he might want to join. Smash politely declines. He's rather look in on the actual medical procedure Cristina's doing than pretend to do surgery with Derek. Hearing it out loud like that really brings it home to Derek. Troubled, he wants past a giant head-poster and grumbles.
Owen is having ZERO FUN at this nurses' meeting. They're all agitating about the various terrible things the Pegasus takeover means for them, and he has no answers for them. Afterwards, Cahill starts chastising him about getting control over his people, but they don't have time for that argument because, at the same time but from different directions, Derek and Bailey are coming at them. Derek wants Cahill to know he's not cool with being a covergirl anymore, while Bailey wants to make her case to Owen for the genetic screening. After a moment of bickering, he finally tells Bailey that HE shot the proposal down before it even got to the board, because he knew it would be turned down. I guess a guy can only fight so many battles a day. Derek stops his argument to let this moment land, further proof that Seattle Grace is not Seattle Grace anymore. Bailey gets her scary-as-fuck Bailey Face on and is like, "YES SIR! Never mind, then!" She stomps off, and Derek gives Owen the "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" face and leaves himself.
As he turns the corner, Derek's already on the phone with somebody. "I have a crazy idea," he tells this somebody, "and I need you to tell me how crazy."
After the break, we get a hilariously clandestine meeting where Callie takes her umbrella and heads out a back door, where an unassuming Facilities Services van flashes its headlights at her. Inside are Derek and the tech guy from Ocean's Eleven. He kind of emerges from the back of the van and scares the shit out of Callie. He's Stan, Derek's financial advisor. I love how relatable the characters on this show are, with their giant hilltop houses and financial advisors. So Stan lays out the particulars: doctors cannot own their own hospitals. Legally, I mean. I'm kind of breathing a sigh of relief at that one. But what they can do is ally themselves with an NFP (or a for-profit organization but fuck those guys) who will technically own the place and then hire the Seattle Grace Five (assuming Cristina and Arizona are onboard) as a management company, who would run the day-to-day like a board of directors. The camera is doing this pirouette thing where it spins around 180-degrees for the person who's speaking. That would be Arizona, who's been brought into the meeting and who still doubts that a) they'd want to work in a board room rather than an operating room, and b) if they even have the money to pull this off. Cristina's to be pulled into the fold, and she also wants to know if it's even possible. "Very possible," says Stan, though he'd know more if he could get a look at the hospital's financial statements. Cristina says Owen can get that for them, but Stan tells her that, legally (like, under penalty of possible jail time), Owen is bound to protect the hospital's interests and tell Pegasus anything that would threaten the sale. Since this development would threaten the sale, and since their only prayer of pulling this off involves an element of surprise, they can't tell Owen. And after all that work getting closer than close again, a wedge is put between Owen and Cristina . Looks like Cristina might be out, again.
Owen and Cahill are having lunch, and he's freaking out because of this nurses situation. He says they have valid concerns that shouldn't just be ignored. Cahill tells him it's his job to manage those concerns. Owen doesn't think he can, so Cahill launches into a whole story about how when she operated on that logger the other day, she didn't think she'd ever be able to step up to an operating table again, but she was able to do it because Owen was there, with his air of calmness and authority and support. "If you were okay, I would be okay." She tells him it's a rare quality. He asks about what drove her from the operating room, and she says it's just a typical story of choking during a surgery. "I'm good at THIS job," she tells him. And only Owen can convince the hospital employees that something that hurts them in the short run will help them in the long run. "When you tell someone that everything will be okay, they'll trust you." Which is awesome if everything actually will be okay. But we cut to the nurses, who are now magically calmed by the powers of Owen's confidence-inspiring gaze. Cristina ducks in to watch her man ask the nurses to hang in there with him through this transition. "I wouldn't ask you to do this if I weren't sure that what Pegasus Horizons offers is the best for all of us. If I didn't, I would leave." Cristina takes that last part in especially pointedly. One nurse finally stands up and says they can try to work with Owen on this. Success! The masses are placated! They're applauding! Cristina is so conflicted by her charming, persuasive, confidence-inspiring man as he pied-pipers this hospital off a cliff.
Alex and Jo. Talkin' sick babies to parents who mirror their romantic situation. The parents are faced with your typical surgery-or-no-surgery decision. Either option has a risk of the baby dying. The mom freaks out at having to make such a terrible decision, so the dad like grabs her by the shoulders and tells her that he's scared too, but she's the most hellacious ice-queen bitch he knows, and if anyone can power through this, it's her. So she pulls together and they decide on the non-surgical option. Then she asks for a maxi-pad "for my girlfriend here." Okay, dumb storyline, but I laughed at that.
Oh, no. What have you people done to the glorious Derek Shepherd posters? Whited-out eyes, a devil goatee, and the word "SELLOUT" in big bold letters? Derek is bitching all the more to Cahill. This is a nightmare. She says they'll have this one taken down. "I want them ALL taken down," he says, before turning around to find Dr. Webber, who swears he didn't do it.
Elsewhere, Cristina corners Owen as asks him the $50,000 question: does he really believe what he's saying? That Pegasus is the path for a brighter tomorrow? He starts to equivocate, but she tells him it's just them right now. Just the two of them. He finally admits that he doesn't believe it. It's a bitter pill, he says, and they just have to swallow it, but honestly, he's not even sure if the sale will make them better or worse. But it's their only shot. "What if it's not?" Cristina asks. "What if it's not all on you?" He cuts her off and says it IS all on him. "I put you all on that plane!" That's the crux of it, isn't it? He gets a call from Cahill: the sale is going down TODAY. He's so relieved that it's almost over. Meanwhile, Cristina knows there's a ticking clock now.
Elsewhere, Meredith and Derek are planning a very silly operation in order to get their hands on the financial statements. He brings Meredith in to meet the board members, and she knocks a thermos of water onto their papers, and there's a scramble to clean up.
Arizona and Bailey are breaking the news to AJ's father that the genome mapping wasn't approved. Which leaves them with the risky surgical option that no one's happy about. The dad asks if that's their only choice now, and Arizona says it is, but Bailey's like, "No, it's not." She says his other option is to check AJ out of Seattle Grace and go looking for another hospital that will give him the care he needs. "He won't get that here," she says, her voice wavering. This is kind of a moment. All the doctors are having this moment this week, at least the ones contemplating the sale, but Bailey IS Seattle Grace in many ways, and to watch her lose faith all at once like this is heartbreaking. And the significance is not lost on Arizona either. "Leave Seattle Grace and go someplace else, fast," she tells him. Miranda Bailey just broke up with Seattle Grace.
After the break, Arizona asks Bailey WTF that was all about, but Bailey holds firm. She starts spinning out ideas about other places she could go -- maybe find a hospital in Los Angeles where she could be with Ben, although her ex-husband surely wouldn't let her take Tuck out of the state, but maybe they can work something out, and ... Arizona finally stops her. "You're not going anywhere," she says, but oh, Bailey is. "It makes me feel small. I have to make myself smaller to work here." She doesn't recognize this place anymore, "or the people." She doesn't want to hang around long enough that she doesn't recognize herself. Arizona looks glum, than glances to her left at yet another defaced Derek Shepherd head. Not the face you want to see when you're going through an existential crisis.
Alex and Jo. They fixed the baby. Alex thinks co-workers CAN make it work, just look at Meredith and Derek. Oh, that's like The Bachelor saying "Look at Trista and Ryan." One success story and a million disastrous failures. Whatever, he's Alex and has gone through this mean/secretly sweet/mean again cycle a billion times, and she's just brunette Izzie, so let's all just hold our breath and wait for this to play itself out.
Avery is finishing up a surgery when he looks out into the hallway and sees a (un-defaced, for me) Derek-Head poster, reading "COMPASSION." He literally is like, "Oh, shut up." He goes and finds April and tells her to tell Matthew who she is, be honest with him. She says she reeeeeally likes him, though, and doesn't want to scare him away. He says in that case, wait it out, let him get to know her better. "Once he does, he'll be willing to follow you anywhere." Oh, Jackson, please stop being hung up on April right now. Listen to the Rihanna playing in the background right now, have a good cry, and then get over it.
Derek is marveling at his super-smooth wife for successfully getting that financial statement out of the room, but there's no time to savor the moment, because Arizona pages them. Before they know it, they're meeting Callie and Arizona out in the rain, without the benefit of a van this time. Arizona tells them that Bailey's quitting, which they all find appropriately alarming. She says if they're going to do something, they need to do it now. Callie is thrilled to have her wife onboard. But there are still logistical hoops to jump through, primarily actually getting enough money. Cristina comes running up with the news that the same is happening tonight -- they need to do this TONIGHT, "for Owen." Of course, there's no way. They don't have the money, they don't have the NFP, they haven't even looked at the financial statement. Even in the make-believe world of TV, they can't make this happen tonight. So they're out of options (hilariously, Arizona, recent convert that she is, is the first one to be like, "Well, we can't"). Cristina says there's one thing they can do. Oh, she's not gonna say while the rest of us are listening!
Inside, Dr. Webber turns a corner and catches the poster-vandalizer red-handed. It's Smash! That "Compassion" that Dr. Avery was so vexed by now just says "ASS." Man, if even a fanboy like Smash is disillusioned with Seattle Grace in the Pegasus era, things must be really bad.
Owen and Cahill are in the conference room with a bunch of suits as paperwork is being handed out to begin making the sale official. Derek interrupts and asks to speak to Owen. By the time Owen stands up, Meredith, Callie, and Arizona are there too. In rapid succession, they each tender their resignation from Seattle Grace, effective immediately. Cristina's there too, and Owen look at her like she just shot him in the chest. Not yet, though, Owen. You have to wait for it. And with all eyes on her, Cristina says she quits too. The room is aghast. No way the sale goes through now. And Owen Hunt's heart is in little glass shards on the floor.
After the break, the Seattle Five are going over the steps. Like meeting with Stan, getting their patients covered, and cleaning out their lockers. Cristina bemoans the look that Owen gave her, but Meredith assures her that she's helping Owen in the long run. Dr. Webber shows up with Smash in tow, like a kid he found in his backyard. He's like, "Dr. Shepherd, I believe this young man has something to say to you..." But Derek surprises us all and asks Smash if he "got them all." Well, well, looks like Derek was the mastermind behind all the vandalizing. He tells Smash he can go now. I knew Smash was too much of a fanboy to step out of line! Webber looks at the Five and knows something's up. Meredith assures him he'll know soon. Cristina is still hung up on the look on Owen's face -- she wants to go tell him what's going on, but Meredith convinces her that she can't do that yet. When the time is right, she'll tell him, and he'll understand. Cristina isn't sure he will.
April and Matthew are hardcore making out on the couch, but he puts on the brakes because he has something to tell her. He's super nervous and he thinks it will drive her away. Are you already there? I hope so: he's a virgin. And he's going to stay that way. He's saving himself for marriage. April can barely suppress the giant smile on her face. She says she can absolutely deal with it, because that's great, because she can. But then, she says, "I am too." And she doesn't include the part where she was and then she wasn't and now she is again, and you just KNOW that little sin of omission is going to become a huge thing, and it's going to be gross and he's going to implicitly call her a whore and we're all going to hate him but also hate April too because she's April and she could have avoided this whole mess if she'd just played this moment right here differently.
Back at the hospital, Lawyer Roma Maffia is hollering at Cahill and Owen about how the sale is dead now, and they'd better think up something quick. Cahill's confidence is badly shaken -- she doesn't think she'll be able to find another buyer once the hospital-buying community gets word of the defections. Owen's like, "You can and you must and you WILL, God damn it." He says everybody he thought was in his corner just abandoned him, so she's all he's got left. Uh-oh. I don't like that phrasing one bit. "You say you trust me," he says, "then trust me when I say you CAN do this, because you HAVE to."
Alex and Jo present the fixed baby to its squabbly parents. Afterwards, Alex asks her out for a beer, but she's gotta take a rain check because she has a date. He feigns like he's cool with it but then pulls Stephanie aside and asks her what the deal is with the guy (Jo's down the hall talking to him; he's kind of a dish). Stephanie calls him "Chest Peckwell," the nickname they had for him when they were all mooning over him. He's an OB resident, and Stephanie's super proud of Jo for asking him out. Alex pretends he already knows this, but his Damaged Heart Is Breaking (how do I always end up with the Alex's Sad Heart Is Sad episodes?).
Owen braves the rain to go bang down Cristina's door, desperate for an explanation, but she's not there. She's holed up at the Shepherd-Grey Mansion on a Hill with the rest of the five, planning their move. Stan's telling them they need to form an LLC, and they need a name for their corporation. Everybody's feeling pretty nervous about the plan, so the suggestions are fairly pessimistic: "The Bitter Pills"; "Epic Failure"; "The Death Spiral"; "Blind Leading the Blind Inc." Stan's like, "Okay! No idea is a bad idea, let's keep thinking!" Everybody's worried. That constant rain can't help.
Joe R can't believe they found another wedge to drive in between Owen and Cristina so quickly. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.