Facing Off

S09E14

The hospital sale seems to be moving ahead; Alana has a bunch of people there for a tour from a potential buyer company called Pegasus, while she also works to figure out which of the ridiculously good-looking doctors will be the new "face" of the hospital. Alex and Jackson are the front runners, and Princess and Stephanie get a little too into trying to make their own personal candidates the winner.

Callie is disturbed by the idea of the sale, especially because she can't actually find any useful information about Pegasus on their website. She and Richard decide to take a little trip down to Portland to visit a hospital there which has already been bought by them. They pose as a married couple and Richard pretends to have chest pain to check things out in the ER. (Also: Wait, they got to keep their ER?) The doctor they see is very nice but they realize pretty quickly that he has to follow a specific protocol on an iPad which dictates the questions he will ask and makes sure that the exam is kept to under 15 minutes. Once Richard has been deemed to be fine, the two decide to meander the halls and eventually talk to a group of doctors while pretending to be Pegasus reps looking for feedback. The doctors there hate it because they can no longer think for themselves and they have to follow a lot of protocols that don't even make sense or seem best for the patients. They finally meet Portland General's own "face" who recognizes Callie since he is an orthopedic surgeon too. Since he thinks she now works for Pegasus, he asks if there is a spot open at Seattle Grace since he hates it in Portland where he does very little actual surgery anymore. When they finally return to Seattle, Richard admits that the early retirement package he's been offered is looking pretty appealing right now.

April has started hanging out with Hot Paramedic Matthew and since she has basically nothing to do at the hospital with all of the traumas gone, she goes for a ride along with him. They go pick up a kid who has been hit by a car and conveniently, Seattle Pres is too crowded to take him, the closest ER is over an hour away, and but he's too hurt so April is sure he'll die if they try that. She calls Jackson and they decide to sneak him into the pretty much stripped room that used to be Seattle Grace's ER. Along the way they wind up enlisting the help of all of the interns, Meredith, Alex, Cristina, and finally Derek since Mere realized they need someone who can actually get them the medications they will need. He also proves useful when he diverts Alana's tour away from the ER -- which, by the way, apparently is being remodeled to be a hernia clinic. I guess that explains the skills lab from last week, though I had no idea there was such a rampant hernia problem in Seattle. When the tour finally does make it down there, they have managed to sneak out the kid but Alana sees drops of fresh blood on the floor and realizes that there has been monkey business. She and Owen pull all of the docs in one by one to interrogate them to try and get to the bottom of what happened.

In addition to helping this poor kid, Alex and Jackson are working together on a transgender teenager, Brian, in the process of a female-to-male transition. He's there for surgery to remove his breasts, and is being supported by his male-to-female transgendered girlfriend, Jess. Brian's dad shows up before surgery, having received an email about it, and he's so distraught by what is going on that he almost comes to blows with Alex. Alex manages to calm him down, but he still can't really deal with the decisions his child is making. When the docs come out after surgery to report to Jess how it went, Brian's dad shows up and they realize he was there the whole time, wanting to make sure it went okay. Jess admits she sent the email because she knows how much Brian loves his dad; He finally comes around enough to gruffly offer Jess some cash as rent money but can't bring himself to be there when Brian wakes up.

Once Jackson and Alex find out about the staff interrogations they walk into the room and take total responsibility for everything, pointing out that it was the right thing to do and that neither of them has any interest anymore in being the face of the hospital anymore given everything that is going on. Alana is aghast when Owen dismisses them without punishment and insists yet again that everything she's doing is the only way to save the hospital. She also calls in Derek to yell at him since they realize he assisted the docs in their actions but yet later we see that he still winds up becoming the "face" anyway. And it's kind of scary because his face now graces the inside of the elevator doors. That's a whole lot of Derek, right there.

Finally, Callie calls a meeting of the crash survivors (though Cristina isn't there because she can't hear her phone during her on-call room hookup with Owen) to tell them that they have to do something. And her idea of something is that they should band together and buy the hospital themselves.

This week we get a treat -- Alex is doing the voiceover, complete with an undertone of disdain as is generally present in his speaking voice. While he takes part in a photoshoot, during which he exhibits a complete inability to smile like a real person a la Chandler when he and Monica were taking their engagement photos, he gripes that he doesn't want to be the hospital mascot. Alana is there supervising and chirps that they are looking for a "Brand Ambassador" for the hospital and reminds him that he's not actually won the job yet. She thinks that he's a good candidate, being a good-looking good doctor, but she forgets about his general disdain for humanity. He finally dismisses himself and she yells after him that the day he'll have a PR person following him around and he is to be civil. Meanwhile, he VOs about cells changing from normal to cancerous, and declares, "Transformation sucks." I think that depends on the kind of transformation -- RuPaul's transformation from man to the greatest drag queen the world has ever known is a pretty delightful and kickass one. But in terms of cancer or hospital sales, yes, it sucks.

He goes home to drink beer with Princess, which seems to be all he does now outside of work. Also, does she live there now? The two of them head to the living room but are stopped short when they see Stephanie and Jackson making out on the new sofa, looking like they're about one panting breath away from tearing off each other's clothes. Princess and Alex retreat to the kitchen and I hate that I agree with her when she asks who does that at someone else's house. They then start to hear pounding and giggling coming from above and Princess is disgusted to learn that it is Owen and Cristina. You can't make me believe that she spends every night at the house, sleeping on the sofa, and yet Alex has to tell her that Cristina's room is over the kitchen and that these mysterious and subtle noises mean Owen is there. Owen grabbed her boobs one morning, for goodness sake -- everyone knows what is going on and with whom. After a moment, she looks up at the ceiling and starts barking like a dog. Alex thinks she's nuts but she keeps at it, making animal noises to I guess distract the hooker-uppers upstairs; Alex finally seems to change his opinion from "weird" to "endearing" and he joins her with some crazy, unrecognizable howling. The two get super into it to the point where Stephanie and Jackson manage to peel themselves off each other and go investigate, confused.

By Lauren S

Of course, at the hospital the morning, neither of their respective groups of friends believe that they are still nothing more than friends. Mere even tries to get Avery to pay up in a bet they had about whether or not Alex and Princess were doing the horizontal mambo.

Cristina gracefully advises Alex that they are one drink away from doing it; "Just stuff her turkey, you'll feel better." Alex argues with the room that he's not screwing his ex, Cristina, or taking advantage of interns, Jackson, and of course April walks in just in time for this last bit but manages to stay calm and just raise one eyebrow. She's inexplicably got three breakfast burritos in one hand with which she gestures as she passionately asks everyone what happened to actual romance. Everyone gapes at her like she's speaking another language with this "romance" malarkey while pregnant Mere can't take her eyes off the burritos and finally asks if she's going to eat all of them. April just turns and leaves.

It turns out those burritos were for her, Hot Paramedic Matthew, and his partner Nicole (who, to be fair, is gorgeous herself) though Nicole is standing outside their ambulance and eating while April and Matthew sit in the rig, talk, and smile shyly at each other. They don't actually have any work there on account of the ER being closed but its obvious Matthew is doing this to be with April and Nicole is being a VERY good sport about it. April feels bad and sticks her head out the window to ask if Nicole wants her seat back and Nicole gives her a kind of pointed, "Duh?" face and replies that she'll be fine. I wouldn't think that April is so naïve as to not realize this is a sort-of date, but it feels a little bit like that. Matthew asks if she's okay and she admits that it's tough trying to train as a trauma surgeon at a hospital that no longer has any traumas -- during her night shift she was reduced to hoping desperately that someone's appendix would burst. He then gets a call about an accident but since neither of them want to go, he invites April to ride along with them.

Alex has a woman named Rita from their potential new owners, Pegasus Horizons, following him around as promised, asking pictures and taking questions. He seems embarrassed about it and of course this is making him come off as king of rude, but Rita seems unfazed. When Stephanie comes up and hands Alex a chart she starts snapping pictures so Steph asks what is up; she's a little bit surprised to hear that they are considering putting Alex's face up on posters around the hospital.

By Lauren S

They go into the NICU to see their first patient, a 13-day-old baby whose intestines were born outside her body. Rita is shocked when she realizes the bag suspended above the baby's abdomen -- which looks like one of those vacuum-packed bags of cocktail wieners -- is holding said intestines and Steph explains that they are gradually compressing them each day until they can fit in the body. After doing a brief exam, Alex declares that today is the day they will do it. The baby's mom is so excited that she grabs Alex in a bear hug while shouting thanks. She's a little taken aback when Rita tells them to hold still and starts snapping pictures, then handing over a release for the woman to sign. Everyone except Rita finds this slightly odd and off-putting.

While walking away Alex lectures Rita that these are real people, and sick children, not just her photo op. He warns her that the patient is a sensitive case so she's not allowed to talk or take any photos. Rita just compliments him on being passionate and protective of his patients, which is the last straw for Alex so he banishes her to the hall. But when they open the door to the room they see the teenage patient and his girlfriend smiling with Jackson to them shooting finger guns while another dude takes pictures. I love a finger gun more than anyone but this maybe isn't the time, Jackson. The photographer mixes up some pronouns and the patient, Brian, explains good-naturedly that he's a he who was born a she while his girlfriend Jess was born a he. He's not offended at all at the mix-up and says he knows it is confusing. It turns out Jackson is also in the running to be the brand ambassador and this photographer is his own shadow for the day; once Alex hears this he seems offended to learn that someone else is being considered and is suddenly more interested in winning the position if it's a competition. Jackson just leans back over to the patients for more photos, excitedly doing more finger guns in their direction. Did he come straight here from his game of beer pong at the tailgate or something?

Alex pulls Jackson to a corner so they can argue about the photographers; Jackson is fine with it because Brian is fine with it while Alex gripes that Jackson just thinks this patient makes him look good. Jackson counters smoothly with the very-not-untrue, "I always look good." When they walk back over the teens are introducing themselves: Brian is a freshman and Jess is a sophomore at UW. Brian says that Alex introduced them because when Brian was 14 he booked an appointment to find out how old he had to be to start the gender transition process. Alex gave him the info and recommended a transgender support group, which is where the lovebirds met. They are completely adorable and googly-eyed for each other. Brian has been saving up ever since, and today there are there for, as he says, "Chopping off my boobs." Rita coos that Alex changed Brian's life, but Jackson pipes up that he's doing the same thing when he leads the surgery today. Before the pissing match can get too intense, Alex has Stephanie and Princess (who is on Jackson's service) take the photographers out to the hall.

By Lauren S

Once out there the two argue about which one of their not-boyfriends would make the better Face of the Hospital. When the guys themselves come out into the hall they pair off -- Princess coaches Alex to work the Africa angle and gives him a banana for breakfast which she inexplicably claims is better for him than a powdered donut, while Stephanie orders Jackson to play on his name.

Both of them also have tablets that have materialized since they got out of the room and when they walk up to the desk we see that Mere has one too. They seem to contain patient info but every time Mere tries to do something on it, she deletes the record and Princess has to offer help since she had done the same thing and finally got the hang of it. Mere asks about the photographers and they tell her about the FotH competition; she wants to know why they aren't considering any women but Cristina tells her that they asked her and she turned it down. "This face only goes on the NOBEL brochure." Also: I love that Cristina was able to shut them down when Alex griped and sneered and still couldn't escape Alana's clutches. I think that says something about whether she wants a man or woman in the role. Speaking of the consultant, she is taking a group of suits on a tour and brings them over to brag about the new centralized electronic records system and its efficiency. Mere gripes that it would be even more efficient if it didn't keep deleting patients.

From a nearby conference room, Callie overhears and cheers Mere on, much to Owen's dismay. Callie is worked up, though, because Alana coached her on how to speak to the buyers -- she should emphasize sports medicine and not research. Owen, a ball of nerves, repeats for the millionth time that Alana is just trying to help, and then he leaves to join the tour. Richard, Bailey and Derek are also there and Derek reminds Callie that research sounds risky but saying you treat the Seattle Seahawks sounds sexy. Bailey answers all of their griping by pointing out that the packet says Pegasus offers dental coverage, and she's looking forward to having Tuck's future orthodontia covered. She's trying to focus on the bright side and can't handle Callie's moaning, especially when Callie says that they can't settle and instead of have to do something. Bailey pointedly sneers, "You've done plenty," and leaves. Derek gently tells Callie that those from the crash should probably keep their heads down for a while, and he leaves too. Callie is stricken, and asks Richard if she's crazy for worrying that Pegasus is going to destroy the hospital. He doesn't think she is, because he agrees with her.

Alex takes Princess' advice and he tells Rita all about the Africa program with a heavy focus on how he found it his duty as a wonderful human being to help those poor orphans. She is duly impressed.

But he then comes upon a man yelling at Jess, blaming her for putting ideas in "her" (Brian's) head. Jess is almost physically shaking with fear but continues to stand up to him, trying to get him to recognize Brian as a "he." The man just keeps yelling that "she" is a child and can't possibly know what she wants. Alex walks up and gets in between, asking if everything is okay, and then man turns and demands to know if he is the one. Alex is confused which is the last straw for the man who grabs him and slams him into the wall, demanding to know if he's the one who wants to hack his little girl to pieces. Of course, Rita is there with her camera to snap pictures of it all.

Callie and Richard pull up Pegasus' website and the video they have utilizes 1999 cutting edge technology to show a Pegasus with dead white eyes slowly galloping across a blue screen. She is shocked to see how many hospitals they own and Richard notes that last year they bought Portland General. Arizona comes in and Callie tries to get her to board the Doubt Train by pointing out that the website has no information actually about the company or even healthcare. But Arizona just wants to try and make the best of it because she feels like the sale is a done deal. With that in mind, she tells Callie to just relax. But when she leaves, Callie points out to Richard that she's never been one to do that, and he suggests they take a little road trip.

Security has been called to deal with Brian's father but the man has calmed down and apologizes to Alex, admitting he lost it because he only learned about the surgery the night before from an email. Alex dismisses the security guards and then turns to the man and tells him he knows this is a big adjustment for any parent, especially the first time they hear about it. But before either of them can say anymore, Brian shows up in the hall and sounds very surprised to see his father.

Richard and Callie head down to Portland and then try to get Richard seen as a patient. Callie forgot about actually setting up a backstory so on the spur of the moment she introduces herself as Calliope Plantain and Richard is her husband, Julio. When the woman asks to see ID Callie utters the magic words that will get them whisked immediately to an exam: chest pain.

By Lauren S

Jackson is teaching a seminar so the interns can learn some particular method of closing wounds. His photographer Larry is in the back of the room to witness the whole thing and Princess is well aware of this, so she starts asking Jackson pointed questions about his work to highlight the cosmetic aspects of his job. Stephanie catches on immediately and counters with questions about amazing procedures like face transplants -- she doesn't give Jackson the chance to say he's never actually done one of those, even though he tries. He meanders over to Stephanie to ask what is going on and she warns him that she's saving him because things are looking bad for him right now. He catches Larry fiddling with his Blackberry and so runs back and offers him the chance to try out the procedure himself for fun. But he has to excuse himself to answer his phone.

The call is from April, who is working with Matthew and Nicole on a ten-year-old kid who is lying in the street after a hit and run. She explains that Seattle Presbyterian was slammed and diverted them instead to a hospital an hour away. She yells out a list of all of the horrible things wrong with the boy and finishes by asserting that he'll die on the way if they try to go there. Jackson realizes what's happening but asks, "Are you asking what I think you're asking?" Matthew is doing his best Smell the Fart acting as he stares intently at April but Nicole looks incredibly skeptical about it all. April just answers, "If I am, will you do it?"

By Lauren S

Jackson pulls Owen aside off of the tour and tells him the story, not realizing that Alana has of course glided over to listen to it and before Owen can say anything she yells at Jackson that there's no way. Owen cuts her off and tells Jackson that they have to follow the protocol of going to the nearest trauma center and that isn't Seattle Grace any longer. He does at least seem tormented to have to give this answer and he apologizes to Jackson before leaving. Stephanie and Princess find him and order him back to the seminar before bickering some more about the stupid competition but Jackson ignores them and finally stuns them to merciful silence by asking Princess if he can trust her.

As they wait in the ER, Richard gripes about having to play patient while Callie snoops around and makes special note of the brochures and large poster with a happy, smiling doctor who is clearly their own Face of the Hospital. A nurse comes up and apologizes for the wait and then when the doctor arrives a moment later, he does the same thing even though Callie points out they were only waiting for about a minute. The doctor, Kan, has one of the same tablets that Seattle Grace now has and he follows it as he asks them questions, beginning with the spelling of their name. He first asks how Richard is feeling but when Richard doesn't answer right away he changes his approach to ask what brought him in. Callie takes issue with this and concocts a whole story about how Richard is feeling: he's sad because his company is being bought by a big, jerky company, he can't speak to Callie about it because she's a silly woman who is too busy online shopping, so he started going to the bar and smoking. She thinks she caught Kan out and that he never would have gotten the cigarette connection if he just asked what brought them in, but the doc just points out that a question about smoking is on the screen. But when he tries to go back to the screen to continue where they left off, the tablet freezes and he has to start over. Incredibly, he does so word-for-word including asking how to spell their name. He's little more than an automaton. More worryingly, when they tell him to take his time he says that they only have 15 minutes together. One certainly hopes that is enough; I'm glad Pegasus has decided that's all that is needed for anyone.

The problem with working in an ER-turned-construction site is that there aren't many supplies available -- something it seems most of them didn't think about beforehand. Nicole is kind of fed up by the whole messy situation but she goes to get them a portable suction machine from the ambulance. Smash then hollers at them that someone is coming so they turn out the lights and wait, with someone pumping air for the kid manually. Finally, they get the all clear and get back to work.

Stephanie's job is to babysit the photographers, who seem to doubt the story that Jackson is taking a power nap and Alex is at the dentist. Trying to come up with something better, she has the idea to show them Jackson's lab where he grows skin. Growing organs from scratch is a pretty good distraction for a lot of things, methinks.

When Nicole gets back she witnesses more panic as the docs realize they are missing an ultrasound machine. She finally yells at Matthew that if this kid dies because he decided to bring April along on the world lamest date... Jackson is hard at work but his ears still prick up at the word "date" and he seems less than happy to hear it. The order of business is to figure out the IV drip rate but no one has a calculator and all are at a loss since they usually rely on a nurse to tell them what to do. Princess takes matters into her own, er, brain, and out loud she quickly works through a complicated equation until she comes up with the correct rate. Everyone kind of gapes at her, impressed, but they are thrown back into the moment when they realize they don't actually have access to any narcotics. Cue Derek's triumphant entrance and Jackson starting to melt down at the party this has become. But Mere called him because she knew this would happen and he tells them he has the codes to get to the medicine, so to tell him what they need.

Callie and Richard have been dismissed from their fifteen-minute appointment and while Callie is upset that all Kan could offer was advice to not smoke, Richard points out that he was found healthy which is, in fact, correct. She's worried they look suspicious now that they are just wandering around so Richard tells her they should get coffee, since you always look like you belong when you have coffee. That's actually weirdly true. The two and their coffees walk up to a group of doctors who are talking and Richard asks Callie loudly if 15 minutes is enough time to learn anything about a patient. One of the docs turns around and assures him that you get efficient, but Richard has more questions. When the docs get suspicious he introduces himself and Callie, using their real names (to Callie's horror) but then says that they are reps from Pegasus who are just checking in to see if the doctors have questions or concerns. They're so stunned to hear that Pegasus cares that they don't notice Callie chuckling way too hard for this to be real.

When Derek goes to pull meds from a supply cabinet, Alana passes by with her tour and he overhears her announcing that they are about to go visit the new hernia clinic, which used to be that superfluous ER. He sends Princess down to warn the others and then runs over, cheerful as a rainbow, and introduces himself. She's suspicious of why he's playing so nice and he does lay it on a little too thick when he enthuses that Seattle Grace is more than a hospital -- it's a family. He then offers to show them a real human brain by way of the coffee cart for some refreshments. Alana heaves an annoyed sigh, but follows them.

Jackson realizes that his and Alex's surgery is in 20 minutes and they have to go but just as they are about to leave, Princess runs in and warns them that the tour is coming and everyone has to clear out. Alex and Jackson realize they can't bail just yet.

Alana finally tires of Derek's game and tells him they are on a tight schedule and have to get to the hernia clinic. He thinks a moment, and then says he'll join them. But while they are in the elevator, he almost starts shaking, he's so nervous. And Alana may be kind of a bitch, but she seems to be one of the only people who actually picks up on things like that so he might try to relax his quivering a little bit more.

Matthew and Nicole finally run out to move the ambulance but as the doctors try to move the kid, he crashes. April can't stand it anymore and shrilly starts freaking out, wondering what will happen if this kid dies after she insisted they bring him there. My guess is she'd get herself fired for a third time, which seems to just have a poetic sort of ring to it and feels like it might be the last time.

We finally learn a little about why the hospital would even want a hernia clinic -- especially over an ER -- when Alana explains to the suits that it's one of the most common general surgery procedures and for some reason one of the most lucrative.

Inside, Princess finally hollers at everyone that they have to leave NOW.

And then the tour arrives. Alana tells the group that it's under construction so they'll have to imagine what it will look like as a hernia clinic; as she opens the door Derek tells her that before they go in he'd like to say... nothing, because they find the room empty. When Alana isn't looking he allows himself a smile.

Richard seems to have opened the floodgates and the Portland doctors are all complaining about how Pegasus runs the hospital: there's no patient advocacy, they have to run unnecessary procedures to follow protocols, and if anyone does try to think for themselves the scary dead-eyed Pegasus seems to know immediately. "The walls have ears." They are interrupted when the FotH walks up and Callie is horrified when he recognizes her name. It turns out he is an orthopedic surgeon too, so he knows Callie by her amazing reputation for things like growing cartilage. He's surprised to hear she stopped practicing, and Callie has a hard time lying and playing along. Richard can't help but needle her and he tells FotH that Callie peaked and decided to jump out of the game at the top rather than work through her own decline.

The photographers are in scrubs, ready for the surgery, and finally get sick of Stephanie so they ask where their actual doctors are. Fortunately both Jackson and Alex walk in at that moment, all ready to scrub in. Princess takes the photographers to the photo gallery while Stephanie whispers a warning at Jackson that he's got blood on his shoulder and he reaches over to cover it. Alex walks up to Brian and tells him it's time.

As the suits wander around the construction zone, Alana waxes poetic about how the hernia clinic will streamline the process and decrease the complication rate, making Seattle Grace a destination medical center. It's like she wrote her tour script using Corporate Buzzwords for Dummies. (Also, we're ignoring the fact that for nine seasons they've been convincing us that having the top doctor in almost every field had done that already.) As she talks to them, she looks down and notices a few drops of blood on the floor. Slowly she puts her foot over the drops and pulls her toe which shows that it's fresh when it smears. Derek doesn't notice a thing; he's confused when she asks him to take over as she storms out the door.

Night has fallen in Portland, and their FotH is walking Callie and Richard out. As he does he admits that he doesn't have time to do research now that he's doing all sorts of press. Callie is excited when she thinks he is talking about orthopedics press and dismayed when she finds out he's doing things like advising people to eat well and get enough sleep. He doesn't actually operate all that much, either, and when they want a photo op of him doing surgery they have him work on a chicken breast since they don't want a real human on the table. As if realizing how bad this sounds he throws out hopefully that at least he gets to work on the Trailblazers, who are actual human beings. At least with Callie having the Seahawks she has a team with a significantly larger roster. FotH then has a thought and asks them if he can ask a confidential question. Callie assures him that nothing he says will get back to Pegasus, so FotH asks if, now that she is gone, there might be a job opening in ortho at Seattle Grace. And with that, he sends both of the other docs into a spiral of despair when they realize just how right they are to be worried and suspicious of Pegasus.

As Alex and Jackson work on Brian, they both admit they are no longer interested in being the FotH for Seattle Grace and each wants the other to get it. Jackson says that he doesn't want to be a part of anything where they have to sneak around to do the right thing. Fortunately they get back to discussing the surgery at hand because Alana barges in with Owen behind her and demands to know who is on the table. Confused, Jackson tells them it's his transgender patient, so Alana turns and runs out. Before he follows her, Jackson just glares at them over a mask and asks what they did.

By Lauren S

Inside, Princess finally hollers at everyone that they have to leave NOW.

When Mere sees Alex later, she suggests that he should re-think his not being together with Princess because, "She kind of kicked ass today." Oy, this is really happening. Alex reacts as if he really, truly, never one let the thought cross his mind until now, and he VOs that change can sneak up on you.

Callie and Richard arrive back in Seattle but both just sit in the car for a while, nostalgically gazing at the building as Richard notes that so often you don't appreciate something until you are about to lose it. (Pause for a Cinderella moment.) Callie still can't stand the thought of the sale going through and insists they can fight, but Richard raises an eyebrow and admits that right now his early retirement package is looking pretty good. She's stricken, but he's fairly calm about it and gets out of the car, wishing her good night. After he goes, she sits and thinks some more.

April, looking rather deflated, shuffles out of the hospital to go home but she's excited when she sees Matthew waiting for her outside. She tells him that the kid is doing great, and he grins at the news and then starts stuttering a little while shuffling his feet nervously. He admits that he had a speech planned but he seems to just turn to goo when she's around. Finally, he tells her that she is the most fearless, beautiful woman he's ever met, and he really, really likes her. She's totally touched at this romantic declaration and cuts off some more of his stuttering with a long kiss. Stephanie and Jackson then walk outside to leave; Stephanie is all stoked to have her arms around his hot torso and doesn't notice them but Jackson sure does, and it looks like it takes some effort for him to turn back around and keep walking away.

As Alex is still digesting Mere's advice, Princess bounds up and grabs him by the hand to go show him something. She takes him into a supply closet where she pulls out a big pink bakery box of donuts that she stole from the dermatology nurses, since she claims they wouldn't eat them anyway since they are too health-conscious. I think that everyone claims that, but from experience in various workplaces, donuts disappear pretty quickly the second they are set out. Regardless, she hands him a powdered donut and then takes one herself, congratulating them on a great day. She then takes a big bite that leaves powdered sugar all over her mouth, while he just sort of stares, struck dumb. She's weirded out and asks him what's wrong, but he says nothing and takes his own bite as he VOs, "You realize the ground beneath you has shifted." Barf. (Fine, she was also easier to take for much of this episode. But we've got over half a season of her being beyond annoying that she's going to have to make up for before I begin to consider this could be an okay idea.)

Cristina is waiting in an on-call room for Owen and he's so exhausted he almost falls through the door as he moans that she and everyone are killing him. Cristina just reminds him gently that it was the right thing to do. He knows, but it doesn't seem to be keeping him warm right now. Instead, Cristina does that -- she holds out her hand, and he falls into bed, kissing her. What she doesn't notice is that her phone has started ringing as Mere tries to get a hold of her.

Mere, Callie, Arizona and Derek are all gathered and shivering up on the helicopter pad and while Callie wants to wait for Cristina the others decide they should go wait inside and Callie realizes she has to just do it. She warns them that the walls have ears, and they need to talk up there. She then says that she feels they can't just lay low anymore because they are the reason that the hospital is in trouble, so they have to do something to keep Pegasus from taking over. And her big idea? "Which is why I think we should try to buy the hospital ourselves." They couldn't have looked more shocked if she suggested BASE jumping off of the building right then and there.

Richard gets into the elevator to go home and as the doors close, suddenly the giant face of Derek Shepherd is grinning at him under the words, "Your health... transformed." I'm guessing that decision was made prior to the little showdown in the conference room? Richard looks creeped out as Alex VOs, a little too spot on, "The future is staring you in the face and you're not sure you like what you see." I don't think anyone's pores were supposed to be seen that close up. Even McDreamy's.

Lauren S is a writer who lives and works in Atlanta and prefers old-fashioned donuts, though she won't turn down powdered. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."

By Lauren S