Everybody Hurts

S08E23

Now that they are back in Seattle with results in hand, the gang parties at Meredith's house like it's Season 1 again. Cristina did so well that Mayo offers her the world, so they are now in the running with Columbia and Stanford. Mere is determined to stay in Seattle but Harvard is offering Derek the moon and stars so that he's equipped to go ahead and cure Alzheimer's, and between that and his having family on the East Coast he seriously wants to consider going. He's also mildly miffed because he knows that Mere is trying to tie her decision to Cristina's. In fact, Mere tries to make Cristina's decision for her and tells her she is going to Stanford but Cristina isn't so sure. They have a talk where Cristina finally tells her that she has to make the decision on her own, and informs Mere that Owen is her person now, not Meredith. She goes to Owen and the two actually have sex in an on-call room; for the first time in weeks Owen admits to being happy even though he knows it doesn't change anything. And boy, is he right... because she then tells him sadly that she's leaving.

Mark is freaking out after Lexie's big confession and doesn't know what to do because Julia wants to give him everything he has ever wanted, but he's still in love with Lexie, who doesn't want those things. He runs into her a couple of times and is weirdly polite and sweet, while she's still mortified, and we don't see him yet come to any decision.

Bailey and Ben are also having a weird day. It's a day off for both of them so he makes breakfast and mimosas and has the New York Times crossword puzzle for them to do together in bed. But as he goes to deliver the tray, he finds her dressed and ready to run to the hospital for a surgery. He's pissed, but winds up going in with her because what else would he do? The case turns out to be unusual and revolting -- the patient picked up some kind of parasitic worm in Thailand and Derek has to go in to remove it from the guy's spine where it is now nesting. The bickering B's are both in the OR with him and Meredith and when Ben won't stop bitching about them missing the crossword, Bailey goes and pulls it out of his bag and starts theatrically answering questions. There's some confusion about one of the clues and finally Ben shouts at her that the answer is, "Will you marry me?" and he knows this because he put the whole crossword together and intended to propose with it. That night at home, Bailey comes home in nothing but lingerie and a trench coat and asks him to propose again. But he's now sad and confused because he just got an offer from UCLA to be a surgical intern -- something he had applied for back when they broke up after the shooting -- and so their whole future is now up in the air.

Arizona's friend Nick is still in the hospital though she has avoided him for days. He finally decides that he's not going through with the surgery (to get a tumor out of his heart) because he doesn't think it's worth it to try and postpone his life just for an additional few months, especially if much of that time would be spent in pain. Callie finally forces Arizona to pull her head out and go talk to him, and she does, and he agrees to go through with it. Once Teddy and Cristina are inside, though, they discover it's progressed too far and there's nothing they can do. When he wakes up Arizona has to tell him that it's too late, and then he starts to beat himself up for being an idiot and not calling her sooner for help. Later, Arizona pleads with Callie to promise never to leave because after going through losing her brother and now imminently losing Nick, she can't go through anything like this ever again. Callie of course promises that she's not going anywhere.

And then, just when it looks like Arizona's day can't get any worse, she finds out that Alex might be leaving after all. It turns out that one of his examiners happened to be Chief of Surgery at Johns Hopkins, and he seemed to enjoy Alex's attitude and wants to create a position just for him. Richard coaches Alex on how to play Hopkins and Seattle against each other to get even better offers from both. He does, and sure enough they both throw insanely generous packages at him. (Though Owen is not happy about what it's going to do to his budget.) When Arizona hears this through the grapevine she hits the roof, and then when she realizes Alex actually is going to go to Hopkins she pulls him off of his case -- he and a bunch of the other docs were going to Boise to go help separate conjoined twins, but now Arizona is going in his place.

As the team (Mark, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Arizona, and, I believe, Lexie) gets ready to leave Meredith tells Cristina that she's going to Boston, and Cristina tells her that she's going to Mayo, and both of them seem content with their decisions though also sad to leave each other. While they are having that conversation, April is drowning her sorrows across the street at Joe's because every one of her offers was pulled -- including Seattle (I believe because Owen's tight budget got tighter after the Alex thing, though that's not explicitly stated). Jackson has been trying to talk to her about their hookup but she doesn't want to and so he's left trying to talk to Mark. Mark is too wrapped up in his own issues, so Jackson of course blows up when talking to a patient and we learn that he might have feelings for April and has no idea what to do about it. He goes to Joe's to find her and they almost kiss, but she then thinks he just feels guilty for sleeping with her and beginning the landslide that led to her failing. She runs out of the bar and yells at him to leave her alone.

But as it turns out, there might be an open position for April after all year, because the last scene of the episode is the WRECKAGE OF THE PLANE CARRYING EVERYONE ELSE.

Here it is, my darlings -- the penultimate episode of this eighth season of Grey's Anatomy. Meredith's weekly VO talks about migrating swallows while Owen writes residents' names on a whiteboard and he and the other attendings discuss their migration. The only difference is that, presumably, the residents aren't then coming back to Seattle when the seasons change again. OR ARE THEY? Well, we'll have to see. The attendings are all giving Owen info on where the residents have received offers. Avery has offers from USC, Penn, Tulane and Emory and the last two are pushing hard. Oooh, yes, come to Atlanta, my friend. Fine, fine, yes, the show is imaginary and this wouldn't mean I'd actually see him. But STILL. Meredith is still deciding between Boston and Seattle and Owen warns Derek that he wants an answer soon since her choosing Boston would mean he's also losing his well-coiffed top neurosurgeon too. There's an awkward moment when Owen has to ask where his wife is considering going; after an uncomfortable pause Teddy tells him that Columbia and Stanford are both in it but she's confident Cristina will stay. Arizona has the only solid piece of good news and she proudly announces that Alex is going to stay.

Owen reminds them all that they need to know what everyone is doing soon, in case he needs to start hiring some new doctors. I just pray that if he does, they aren't featured characters because this cast has just gotten too huge. He then reminds them that they will be helping Boise Memorial with a conjoined twin surgery and everyone going should be in the lobby ready to leave the following night at 10 PM. After everyone files out Richard tells him that he should be proud that he trained the kids so well but Owen points out that Richard is the one who should be proud as he is the one who actually trained them. Richard beams and doesn't feign modesty -- he's bursting with pride.

As they are talking, the brilliant future doctors of tomorrow are partying like it's 2005 with tequila shots, loud music, and drunken jumpy dancing. (Let's not do anything silly like try to correct the timeline to adjust for how many seasons it took them all to get through their first two years of residency -- then we might all need tequila shots when our heads threaten to explode.) By the looks of Meredith's house, there were approximately a million other residents at Seattle Grace who all just took their boards -- the downstairs is packed. Mere and Cristina are gleefully screaming about how awesome they did while they dance to Sexy and I Know It. April is drunkenly chair dancing while Avery tries to get her to talk about what they did, but she's absolutely determined not to discuss it and just slurs to him that they are still friends and it's all good. She then jumps up and runs over to dance with Mere and Cristina but she's so manic and spastic that she scares them all a little.

A phone rings so Mere mutes the music and everyone keeps quiet while Cristina takes a call. After she hangs up she yells that Mayo now wants to give her a research lab, which means they are back in the running. April whoops for her and is forcing herself so hard it feels like she's going to have some sort of psychological breakdown sooner rather than later. Even Alex makes a comment to Jackson that now he knows what rock bottom looks like. Unfortunately, he jinxes it. A phone rings and the music is muted again but this time it's UVA calling to pull April's job offer since they want a board-certified surgeon. Everyone looks worried and uncomfortable but she hollers at them to turn the music back on and then starts to dance and scream with a vengeance while Jackson glares at her from across the room.

Later that night, Cristina stumbles back to the firehouse and sees Owen asleep in the bed. She stares at him a while and he eventually wakes but then warily holds still as if he might spook her. He's shocked and not sure what to do when she crawls across the bed to him and then cuddles up on his chest. He asks her what she's doing and she mumbles that she doesn't know, and then he asks her if she's drunk but she has the same answer. She massages his shoulder while he holds her tight, looking worried. She then sits up and waits a couple of moments before shuffling back down the stairs and back outside. He just sighs.

Ben is the absolute definition of "good morning" the day as he pours mimosas and calls out the day's plans to Bailey - a Sargent exhibit at the museum, Pike Place, and maybe watching the sunset over the water later. First, it's breakfast in bed and the crossword, which he has set on the mimosa tray with two pencils. He could only be cuter if he was holding a puppy wearing a beret in his other hand. But when he turns to go to the bedroom, he's dismayed to find Bailey up and dressed. She pleads that the hospital called because there is a patient with all sorts of deliciously horrible unexplained things happening with his stomach. He tries to order her to stay home for her one day off but she tries to convince him that it will fun and invites him to come along; her excitement absolutely can't be diluted by his disappointment.

The patient with the exciting stomach turns out to be Jimmy Barrett from Mad Men and he's married to Chloe from 24. He's completely freaked out and keeps jumping to the worst possible conclusions while Chloe is kind of snide and dismissive; when Bailey and Meredith hear that they were just on their honeymoon they are surprised since they seem so "comfortable" (that's a very generous euphemism) with each other. It turns out they were on their third honeymoon as they have been married and divorced twice already and to celebrate their third go at it they went to Thailand. The bickering gives way to gooey smiling as Chloe says they just can't seem to stay away from each other, and the docs offer them amused congratulations.

Callie, Cristina and Teddy are meeting with Nick to explain about the tumor in his heart and how they plan to take it out. Teddy falls all over herself to say that he's in the absolute best hands with Cristina, but he's much more interested to find out where Arizona is rather than to hear about this procedure. Callie tries to sound normal when she says that Arizona has been busy with patients, but everyone knows it's a lie. Nick isn't terribly interested in having heart surgery only to earn himself a few extra months of life, much of which would be spent in pain, especially when his best friend is trying to avoid him. He thinks that it sounds much better to live out the rest of his days on the beach in Belize, and tells Callie to wish Arizona goodbye for him.

Derek finds Meredith and tells her that both Harvard and Owen would like an answer that day. Meredith tells him easily that they aren't going, but Derek has quite warmed to the idea of relocating to Beantown and he reminds her with a smile that he has family on the East Coast. Meredith isn't swayed by this especially since her one good family member is here in Seattle, and she adds that if Cristina goes to Stanford they are only a two-hour plane ride away from each other. Derek counters that if Cristina goes to Columbia, Boston is just a two-hour train ride away. I think it's actually closer to four, but who's counting? Mere is totally stubborn about staying so Derek stops the cute act and tells her seriously that Harvard wants him to run the whole neurology department. Meredith counters that Richard and Bailey love her, and then the Shepherds just growl at each other: he insists they are going and she that they are staying.

In the ER, Alex calls to April -- calling her "Apes" -- and offers nicely to split the patients. She is obviously in deep shit if Alex is going out of his way to be nice to her and give her what he seems to think is an endearing nickname, and she knows that and is totally angry about it. She insists that she still has three great job offers and he tries to agree, but it's really forced cheer. Richard then calls him over to talk.

He tells Alex that he just got a call from a friend named Keith Collier, who was one of Alex's examiners, and Keith is going to be calling Alex imminently. Alex is right to be horrified, but it turns out that Keith was impressed by Alex's balls and bad temper, and wants to offer him a pediatric fellowship at Hopkins. Alex is genuinely thrilled at the news since it is the best program in the country. April has been unabashedly eavesdropping and she calls out that Hopkins already chose their fellows for year but Richard beams and says that's why this is exciting -- they would be adding a position just for Alex. Oh my lord. Kids, seriously, don't try this at home. Telling off your examiner and walking out of your test (after arriving late) don't usually get you everything you have ever dreamed about. I have been so sick of Alex lately but I do still like him for some reason, so it makes me happy that he's successful, but come ON. Oh well. Soon enough there will be far more implausible scenarios to swallow and this will be nothing. Even Alex thinks Richard is playing a really cruel practical joke but Richard giddily tells him that he's got nothing at stake here, and he's totally serious. While Alex still kind of doubts this is going to happen, Richard tells him to make sure his ringer is on.

By Lauren S

April looks kind of sick at this whole turn of events as Alex walks back over and sets his phone on the counter. They both stare at it, but it's a watched pot and so stays silent. Alex tries to brush it off again as bullshit but even April has to admit she doesn't think Richard is kidding around. He finally declares he is over it and turns to walk away but just then, the phone rings.

Meredith finds Cristina and announces that she has made a decision; Cristina is actually really genuinely pleased until Mere announces that her decision is that Cristina should go to Stanford. Mere tells her that she will be staying here, so if Cristina goes to Stanford she can bring Zola down and they can get drunk on the weekends. Fortunately she rethinks that last bit as soon as it is out of her mouth but unfortunately she seems blind to just how much Cristina is not playing along with this at all.

By Lauren S

Teddy bounds up and asks Cristina if there's anything she wants to go over about the conjoined twins in Boise and then reminds her with a grin that she'll be the sole cardiothoracic surgeon from Seattle Grace, and that it's pretty unheard of for an attending just to send a fellow like that. Teddy grandly tells her that is the kind of faith she has in Cristina. Cristina dryly points out that she's not actually a fellow yet, But Teddy just agrees and excitedly tells Cristina to think about the perks she would get once she really is. She then calls out how proud she is as she runs off.

Mere can't believe that Cristina hasn't told Teddy yet that she's leaving but Cristina just mumbles that she hasn't decided yet. Mere reminds her that she did, in fact, just decide Stanford. Look, I have a best friend in my life and I get it, but it would do Mere some good for her to actually listen and realize that all she's doing is annoying her friend right now. (And my own bestie -- and my other California friends -- deserve massive props for supporting me when I moved all the way across the country and didn't try to talk me out of it like Meredith is doing now.) Alex then walks up and yells, "Hopkins!" and it's kind of awesome that Cristina reminds him they aren't in the running, so he has to explicitly explain no, they want him. He quickly explains what happens and Cristina, smiling, realizes this means they already know he's a jerk. I don't know why I find it so sweet when Alex chuckles back, relieved, "They totally know!" but there's something endearingly honest about that -- way more than when we're being told to believe that he's got Deep Feelings for Morgan. He's really touched that they want him; Meredith tells him she's not surprised at all but Cristina tells him she's utterly and completely surprised. After a moment regarding him with a sly smile, she actually leans over and gives him a big hug, commenting, "Nice work, evil spawn." He walks off, cheering to himself.

Meredith then joins Bailey and Ben in the OR as they open up Jimmy Barrett and the ladies try to figure out what's wrong with him. They are marveling over how screwed up his innards are and seem delighted at the challenge, while Ben sulks and makes sarcastic comments about Bailey having all of the time in the world to try and figure it out. I know this is Bailey, and he loves her for who she is, but I do get where he's coming from when the two of them had a single, rare day to spend together. He gripes again about the crossword, but Bailey is content to miss it one week. Seriously, Mere pulls out a chunk of meat from Jimmy's stomach that is kind of rectangular with black spots and for one second I thought it was a Hot Wheels that Jimmy had ingested in some sort of kinky honeymoon play. However, it turns out to be organic. They ignore Ben's griping and continue to work happily.

Mark admits that he owes it to both women not to screw up his decision and despairs that Julia wants to give him everything he wants, but he's in love with Lexie who doesn't want any of that stuff. Yet, Mark. I don't think we have ever heard her ideas on motherhood in the future, but she's young and still a resident and doesn't want kids now, and I think that's reasonable. However, that's less easily encapsulated into once sad sentence in an elevator. On cue, the doors open and there is Lexie. She gets completely flustered and tries to hand Derek the paperwork that she was bringing him on the Boise twins but she takes so long that when she turns to flee, the elevator doors close on her. Derek tries to motion to Mark to make some grand gesture but he stays still and then when the doors open back up again, the boys almost trample her as they try to get out. Mark then turns to Lexie and tells her that he didn't forget about that thing she said, but just needs to ruminate on it. "You know, run it up the old flagpole?" Between Nine Inch Nails being

Derek smirks at Mark while, in the elevator, Lexie shudders as if she's physically trying to shake off the conversation. Derek tells Mark it's a shame he's going to Boston, since he'll miss all this. Avery then runs up to Mark and asks if he has a moment because he wants to talk both about his future and about a little incident he had at the boards that is confusing him. But Mark is too far up his own behind and walks off as if he doesn't even hear Jackson.

Callie finds Arizona in the nursery checking on a baby who could nearly rival Zola with her full-cheeked, ultra-potent cuteness. Arizona is all happy and smiley when Callie greets her but then Callie asks if this baby is dying right now, because Nick is. She gives Arizona a really hard time about avoiding the man she said was her rock and then warns her that he's about to leave and not have the lifesaving surgery that he needs because Arizona won't let up on her anger at him not coming sooner. Callie won't let Arizona try to justify herself and instead just tells her sadly that she doesn't understand how she can watch babies die every day, and could be there for Callie when she almost died, but she's ignoring her best friend now when he needs her. She gives Arizona a final warning to pull her shit together before he leaves for good. Before she goes she then asks, worried, if Ms. Cute Cheeks there really is dying, and is relieved when Arizona says that she is not. Seriously, nothing would be worse than using a cute baby to make a point and then finding out they are actually a tragic story.

Jimmy is completely freaked out that Bailey and Mere still have no real info after his surgery, and isn't really placated by the fact that at least they repaired the damage. Chloe insults him some more, telling him stress from his overreacting might be causing it, but she scratches her arm while she's talking and it's so obviously a plot point she might as well be wearing a hat with big neon arrows and a sign that says, "ARM HERE!" pointing down at what she is doing. As they bicker about Thailand and what is sanitary versus what is experiencing the local color, Bailey looks at her arm which has a bunch of swirly scratches on it that look a little like Heidi Klum's tattoo of Seal's name. (Which: oops.) What Heidi's arm is mercifully missing is the wriggling worm that Chloe has under her skin. Mere and Bailey are both rather excited and tell Jimmy they think they found what is eating his insides. Jimmy looks like I probably would at that news, which is like he might spew some of those insides all over the floor.

So now we know now not to eat sushi from a Thai train station. Ben finds Bailey researching the worm and bitterly tells her that he'll go ahead and cancel their lunch reservation. She is unsympathetic and mocks him for still being hung up on lunch and his Plan for the day. She finds a once-in-a-lifetime parasite to be far more interesting than a crossword and a salad. Dude. Give me a crossword and a salad any day. I hate to say this, but she verges on nasty as she continues to give him a hard time, but he just argues that the patient is taking medicine and the worm is going to die, so she might as well go to lunch! He tells her this isn't like the movies, where the worm will eat his brain and turn him into a zombie. Bailey is totally excited to learn what movie this is and is totally bummed to find out that he just made it out on the spot. He stomps out of the room, while she practically has an orgasm staring at the worm research.

Hunt does not take well to Alex's news about Hopkins and gets super shouty about how Alex already made a commitment. Alex is struggling to hold his ground since he feels guilty about this too but he points out that he hasn't signed a contract and just committed verbally. Owen's comment that he thought his word would be good doesn't knock Alex off track, and he says that normally that is true but Hopkins is HOPKINS and so kind of the exception. Behind Owen, Richard is treating a patient but also silently coaching Alex through the showdown. Alex struggles through and looks like he might crack at any moment, but Owen is so overwhelmed and angry that he somehow misses this completely. Alex tells Owen he wants them to up his salary the amount that would equal the moving expenses that Hopkins is throwing in. And then Owen plays right into Richard's and Alex's hands -- he claims he has no money and turns to leave, but Alex calls out after him that he should look at his Incidentals and Overhead fund. He's quivering with nerves but he it has the desired effect; Owen tries to deny he has any idea what that is but finally snaps up the paper Alex has with his demands and leaves. Alex heaves a sigh of relief, while Richard gives him a "You da man!" point of encouragement.

The residents then gather in the cafeteria for lunch and as Alex wolfs down spaghetti, Mere continues her Stanford presentation by telling Cristina that they have a chef who makes farm-to-table meals to order, which you can place by text message from the OR. Mere keeps hounding her and Cristina keeps trying to put her off, so Jackson changes the subject by pointing out that at Tulane he can have crawfish, but what kind of food would he get at USC? What do they eat there? "Souls," he's told. A lot of them just subsist on their own smugness, I've found. That and lots of beer. April's phone rings and she realizes the number is from New York which means it is Mount Sinai. April is inclined to ignore it and fully admits it is because she doesn't want the bad news to become real just yet. Finally, Cristina reaches over and grabs the phone and does a rather uncanny April impression. It's mean, but it's shockingly accurate. She sounds kind of upbeat and finally thanks the caller and hangs up. For one moment, April thinks they didn't pull the offer but Cristina tells her that they did, she just figured that's what April would sound like "in the face of rejection."

Jackson is upset on April's behalf but newly-nice Alex offers "Apes" some fries. She declines them angrily since she knows they are pity fries. Jackson puts his hand on her arm as he assures her she still has Case Western and Seattle but she wrestles her arm away from him. He's asked what Sloan thinks about Tulane and gripes that he can't get anything out of Mark since he's hung up on his own mysterious problems right now. Lexie shudders at this, gets up and leaves. Jackson comments that he's been disturbed himself these days, and he and April glare at each other and I'm not sure if we're supposed to feel sexual tension, but really I just feel April's desperation that makes me wonder if she isn't going to try something crazy soon. Her phone rings again, and this time it's Cleveland and she knows Case Western is about to let her down too. Cristina holds the phone out to her but when April doesn't take it, she answers it again. This time, though, she tells the person on the other line, "Well, you know what? I am an awesome surgeon. And I would have rocked your stupid little program so it is your loss. Go to hell." It's Cristina's way of being nice to April, but only showcases just how horrible things are for the Chief Resident right now.

When Arizona walks in to Nick's room he's dressed and ready to leave for Belize. She lectures him that he's going to have the surgery, and they argue, and he finally lays into her for butting in now after ignoring him for three days. He points out that this is hard for her, but kind of harder for him right now being full of cancer and totally alone. He tells her sadly that she was supposed to be there for him and when she tries to say she has his back he shoots back, "So have it!" It very much echoes Cristina and Owen yelling at each other and wanting each other to be their Person. Arizona pleads with him to have the surgery and promises that she'll be there and it will work. He thinks a moment and then tells her, "The things a guy has to do to get your attention. And everyone is saaad.

By Lauren S

Okay, readers, are you sitting down? DEREK'S HOUSE IS FINISHED. It only took five billion years. But it was kind of worth it -- the house is all windows and gorgeous views and wood and a gorgeous stone fireplace. Meredith lays it on a little too thick as she compliments his work; I mean, she obviously really loves it but she's also clearly trying to butter him up to stay. He tells her he can build her a house in Boston, and Mark can buy this one. "His dreams have always been my dreams." You mean, loving a Grey even when it seems difficult? Actually, Mark has historically done a better job of that than Derek as he flies off the handle and gets self-righteously indignant a lot less. After they have a laugh about Mark, Derek gets serious and tells her that Harvard is now offering him a 10 million dollar endowment and that he's going to use that to cure Alzheimer's which is his dream much more than the house. He then gently calls her on making the decision with Cristina. She says it's not the only factor and while she's serious, everyone knows she is a huge factor. Derek tells her that he's her husband, and she should make it with him. I hate having to give Derek any credit but I see his point. Though at the same time he seems to already have dismissed Mere's own opinions.

As Bailey answers questions she notes that this must not be a Sunday puzzle because it's too easy and ignores Ben's repeated requests to let it drop. She finally gets to one clue, which reads, "My question to you." Meredith and Derek try to help her answer but when she tells them it has 13 letters, Ben tells her it is 14. She argues with him that she's the one holding the puzzle until finally he yells at her that the answer is, "Will you marry me," and that he knows that because he designed the puzzle and wrote the clues himself after spending two months getting it mocked up like a legitimate New York Times puzzle. She is completely shocked and mortified, as she really should be. And to add to it, Derek finds the worm without having to dig into yet another disc like she wanted to do.

Callie and Arizona are up in the gallery for Nick's surgery, and Callie takes Arizona's hand. Once Teddy and Cristina are inside they find the tumor has gotten way deeper than it looked on the scans, and they have to come up with a new plan of action since their original idea won't work. But they each keep tossing out ideas and then pointing out why each of those won't work. Callie tries to reassure Arizona that this is the dynamic duo and they will figure it out, but the two of them just stare at each other over Nick's open chest, seemingly out of options.

When Nick comes to, he sees Arizona sitting by his bed but it too groggy to notice her blotchy, tearstained face as he asks how it went. She takes a moment to gather herself and then admits that the tumor had taken over his heart, and there was no way to get it out so they had to just close him up. He's totally confused, since he really took to heart her words that it was his best shot. She cries that it was, and he finally realizes what she's saying and says slowly that it looks like he is going to Belize after all. She agrees, and tears start to roll down his face as he begins to beat himself up, crying that he's so stupid, and why didn't he come sooner? He falls apart, so does she, and then she perches on the bed to hold him and try to soothe him as he sobs. Callie watches through the window, kind of heartbroken.

Teddy goes to see Owen, who is at the whiteboard erasing names of people we never knew who are leaving Seattle. She watches him a moment and then admits she thinks Cristina is going to leave. He only nods, so she finally asks him what happened because she thinks she has done everything to get Cristina to stay, short of offering her her own job. Really? I feel like Teddy half-assed the entire thing, just sometimes piping up about how Cristina should know how great they are and she should stay. I mean, what did she really offer? And look, I want Cristina to stay more than anyone else on the entire staff. Owen tells her bluntly that he slept with someone else. She is stunned, but wisely manages to stay quiet and Owen tells her that if Cristina leaves, she is leaving him and not Teddy. She looks shattered on his behalf and tells him genuinely that she is sorry. He nods again, and they just stare at the rest of the names.

Richard finds Alex sitting on a gurney and is surprised that he seems sad. He's worried that Hopkins pulled the offer but Alex admits that they gave him an international rotation, moving expenses, are paying all of his student loans and on top of that they offered him a mortgage allowance. Wow, for the first time ever, I kind of wish I'd gone to med school. Richard is delighted for him, especially when he says that Hunt matched the offer, but Alex is having a hard time with it because he's a poor sad angel clown who no one has wanted like this before. Rather than rolling his eyes, Richard is gentle with him and says he just doesn't recognize what it looks like to finish first. Alex thinks about this and Richard gives him a pat on the shoulder and leaves him. But as he goes, he puts a fist up in a silent cheer that one of his kids is so awesome. And I get that this happens to people but I'm just a little over it because we've been on this merry-go-round with Alex for years now, with him not believing in himself, then doing well, then realizing that there are people who love him, then sabotaging himself, lather, rinse, repeat. Let's try for some character growth with this one, shall we?

As Owen continues to erase names, April walks in, responding to his page. She's all hopeful and bright, while he's sad and quiet. Finally, struggling, he tells her that he can't hire her for year. She's shocked, and pleads that she will take the boards again and pass. But he tells her that he had to do some shuffling of his budget (so, Alex) and that he doesn't have the money. She argues that a hospital like this should always have money, but she doesn't know the magic words that Richard gave Alex. She even offers to help him figure out his budget, and then finally, shaking, admits that this is all she has left. Owen simply tells her, "You're not the best candidate for the job anymore." She looks as if he just punched her in the gut, and he looks as sad as if he just did that too. He apologizes, but that is that.

Meredith are Cristina are sitting at a computer, marveling at a picture of the conjoined twins they are about to go separate. Meredith comments that it will be tricky, but Cristina says she can handle it. Wait, could this be about MORE than the twins? I don't know, if it is, it's awfully subtle. Mere tells Cristina that she's surprised to hear she's still considering Seattle and asks if it is because of Owen; she chooses to forge ahead even though Cristina is not talking nor even looking at Mere as she says this, holding perfectly still like maybe Mere will get a clue and stop. Mere tells her that he should be with someone who wants a baby, and she should be with someone who wants her. That is actually a good point. But it's also making the situation much simpler than it really is. Cristina is finally fed up and tells Meredith that she needs to shut up. Mere reminds her that it's a huge decision and says she doesn't want her doing the wrong thing. Oh lord, Meredith, just stop. I'm uncomfortable watching this because she just won't stop when she needs to. Cristina remind her that it's not her decision to make and when Meredith haughtily reminds her that she is her Person, Cristina shoots back that they aren't married. Shockingly, she actually starts to tell Mere that she isn't Cristina's Person but she stops short of that and just says that Owen is her Person. No matter what happens, I guess she's been able to finally realize that. She then gets up and leaves.

By Lauren S

Cristina and Owen are lying together in post-coital quiet, and he gazes at her and admits that at this moment, he is actually happy. He admits that he knows it doesn't fix anything, but he's happy as he lies there stroking her hair. I also think (and come on, yes, it's from experience) that he may know intellectually that this doesn't change anything but that he's hoping desperately -- even if it's subconscious -- that this actually does change things. But it really doesn't, because Cristina's face goes from contented and happy to sad and she tells him quietly that she's leaving. She looks away while he stares at the ceiling, looking as if the wind has just been knocked out of him.

Then it is time to go to Boise. Mark and Derek are in their puffy Seattle Grace jackets and Mark notices Lexie pick up a big duffel bag, presumably with supplies. He asks her if it's too heavy but she assures him she's got it and then again twitches. ENOUGH. Once in a blue moon that is a genuine reaction while more often than that it's used for effect, and that's fine. I've done it myself. But right now it just looks like she has some tic that needs treating. Is there no other way to convey that she's completely wigged out by the situation? Let's try and figure that out.

Everyone is then interrupted by yelling, as Arizona corners Alex and reads him the riot act for not telling her about Hopkins -- she heard about it from Owen. Callie tries to apologize for her and tells Alex she had a bad day, but Arizona can't be stopped. After she calls him an, "ungrateful crapdog," he defensively answers that she went to Hopkins and of everyone, she should understand. He then goes all Sally Field on her, "They want me, they really want me." She gapes at him when she realizes that this means he's really going to leave. She starts to yell and he pleads with her to save it until he gets back from Boise. But she's so mad, she rips the binders out of his hand and declares that he no longer represents the hospital and she's going to go instead.

Meredith and Cristina watch all this, both looking kind of proud of their screwup little brother who done good. Mere beams that she can't believe Alex is showing them all up by going to Hopkins, and Cristina points out that's if Arizona lets him live that long. Oh, ha ha ha, as if someone would really not live through the day! Mere then turns to her, smiling, and says that she's going to Boston, and she's already told Owen. Cristina smiles and tells Mere that she's going to Mayo. Both of them grin at each other, clearly proud, even if they are going to miss each other like crazy. Man, it really is like they've all turned in to something resembling real adults!

By Lauren S

Callie finds her wife standing outside in the rain, crying. She assures Arizona that she just checked on Nick and that he is stable, but Arizona turns and pleads with Callie to never leave. She begs her, and Callie assures her that she isn't going anywhere. Arizona is completely overwhelmed and cries that after her brother died, she said she'd never go through anything like that again, but here she is. Now, I know Callie made a brief mention of it earlier but I think it bears repeating that she did come very, very close to going through it again -- close enough that everyone sang their way through an episode. I guess she's not counting that since ultimately Callie lived, but that was a lot of emotional Hell to endure before that point. Callie just assures Arizona that she's there, and holds her while she sobs.

By Lauren S

Owen is sleeping in an on-call room when Cristina quietly sneaks in and watches him a moment. He's confused to see her but sits up and tries to sound supportive as he asks her where she's going to go. She sits down to him, he adds that she can't go wrong with any of her choices. When she finally turns to look at him he's staring sadly at the wall and when he turns to her, she then kisses him. He's confused and kind of scared but she touches his face and after that, they start kissing desperately and climb into bed, grabbing at each other as if their lives depended on it.

Ben is at home on the sofa when Bailey gets home, and she walks in wearing her hair up, makeup, heels, and a black trench coat. She strikes a pose, and asks Ben to propose to her again. He looks at her, obviously liking what he sees, but tells her that she should come sit down with him. NO. That is never good and I don't like it because I like these two together. She undoes her coat and flashes him with whatever might or might not be underneath and repeats her request, but he tells her that while he'd love nothing more than that she should sit down. She thinks he's upset about the botched proposal and gets exasperated but tells him she's wearing a thong now, which is as sorry as she gets. "Ask me!" Instead, he reminds her that there was the shooting, and they broke up, and that he wanted to go do something inspiring but didn't think whatever it was would actually happen. Oh lord, didn't we hear this almost verbatim once from Arizona? Sure enough, he admits that he was accepted at UCLA (Go Bruins!) as a surgical intern. She stares, shocked, and he reminds her that this means he'd be working seven days a week, crazy hours, 1,000 miles away. As she finally sits down he tells her, "Everything's different now." Look, this is a bloated cast, but he wasn't on the list of people I wanted to leave.

By Lauren S

As they all get ready to leave, and Meredith marvels at how swallows can fly thousands of miles and not get lost, April is across the street drowning her sorrows with Mr. Cuervo. Jackson walks in and finds her and immediately says that they should get some water, but she lashes out at him that she's sick of everyone being so nice to her. She wipes away angry tears and he tentatively reaches out and puts his arm around her. After a moment, they almost kiss, but then she pulls away and starts screaming at him that he's only doing this because he feels guilty that they slept together and then she failed the boards. He tries to deny it but she doesn't hear him because she keeps yelling about how no one wants her and he's completely stunned to realize that Seattle pulled her last offer. She screams at him that she doesn't want his pity, and she'll be fine. He agrees with her, trying simply to calm her down, but she finally gets up and runs out of the bar.

By Lauren S

And then we see the Boise Six in a small airplane on their way up to the potato state. As Owen erases the last of the names off the whiteboard, we get glimpses of everyone on the plane: Mark is pensive, Arizona is sad as she gazes out the window, Meredith is thinking to herself while Derek reads but he then looks up and takes her hand, and they smile contentedly at each other. Cristina is reading but she also has an air of melancholy about her. Also on the plane is Lexie, though we don't get a steady shot of her twitching in her seat. Mere keeps talking about the swallows coming back to what they know every Spring, and how cool it's supposed to be when you see the moment they all get some invisible signal and get up and leave.

The screen goes black, and when it comes back, we're in the middle of Lost. There's the scream of a plane's engine, birds scatter, the screen shakes, and then we see pieces of jet scattered across a forest, and bloody, unconscious Meredith lying in the middle of it all as her voiceover says that maybe she's missed out on the swallows, but whatever, "There's always year." The obvious question is, of course, "Is there really a year for Meredith?" And now, once again, we go into the finale with potential mass death for the doctors of Seattle Grace. It's a wonder anyone practicing medicine in this version of Seattle can even get out of bed in the morning with the constant threats to their life that pop up consistently every year or two.

Lauren S is a writer and gal-about-town who lives and works in Atlanta, and has had delicious food in Thailand but never sushi from a train station, thank goodness. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."