Talk about high school with scalpels -- this week, a school bus crash brings a load of teenagers into the ER and the experience highlights just how cliquey the hospital is and gives a little insight into what role each of the doctors played in their own high schools. Let's get the revolting part out of the way first -- Derek is treating the kid who was impaled in the eye by his pencil. He and his best friend are the outcasts, and her heart is broken when she learns that his surgery went badly and that he's never going to wake up. Mark is taken down a notch by a couple of the girl students when he thinks they're checking him out, only to find out he looks just like one of their dads, and he gets a little bent out of shape about the whole thing. Fortunately, he spends the rest of his time being hilarious and charming, and he's quickly becoming my favorite character of the season. Bailey, as it turns out, knows the chaperone of all the kids because they went to high school together. Unfortunately he falls right back into their high school relationship, where he was the big man on campus and she was the geek who did all his homework and pined for him from afar. He manipulates her into doing a ton of paperwork for him, even after she performs emergency surgery on him, but she still can't bring herself to be Seattle Grace Bailey and tell him off. Instead, she takes it out on Derek, who admits he was a geek in high school, and they have a really sweet moment together. Callie has to treat a cheerleader who thinks her life is over since she won't be able to be captain of the squad any more, and though they seem to have nothing in common personality-wise, it turns out Callie knows what it's like to lose a captain-like position, and she's able to straighten the kid out a bit. She's also in a decent mood because she's heard George and Izzie are doing badly -- a rumor that spreads like wildfire through the entire staff. She also helps Cristina out, who is finally working with Hahn but keeps acting so overeager that Hahn hates her. Callie advises her to chill out and stop brown-nosing, which is nearly impossible for Cristina but finally pays off.
The one non-high school patient this week is none other than Thatcher Grey, drunk as a skunk, and needing stitches from putting his hand through a window. Alex tries to tell Lexie that he's there, but when she bitches him out about bringing up the subject of her father, he turns around and gets Meredith instead. While being treated, Thatcher tells Meredith everything she's needed to hear -- that he's sorry, and he's proud of her, and that he knows Susan's death wasn't her fault. Later on, however, she recounts to Lexie what happened and advises her to keep a better eye on him. Lexie's had enough and tells Meredith exactly what their father is like these days: either drunk and mean or drunk and wistful. She's also able to guess to the word what he said to Mere, since that's just what he does with her on a regular basis. Meredith is absolutely shattered, but the Chief takes her aside to collect herself, and after some resisting, she lets him look after her like he promised her mother. After work, she meets up with Derek in the bar and they leave, but not without Derek sharing a gaze with Rose. Who's Rose? Why, she's been working at Seattle Grace this whole time, it's just that Derek and the rest of us never noticed her before! Let's hope for her sake that her integration into the show goes more smoothly than it did for Nikki and Paulo on Lost.
Meredith's voice opens the show with the Theme of the Week. "There comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. Suddenly, you're old enough to vote, drink, and engage in other adult activities." At Joe's, the camera pans down to show Sydney sipping a glass of wine and looking at...Derek? She asks him flirtily why it is that he chose "the brain." Behind Syd, Mark is sitting at the bar, staring at these proceedings with his mouth hanging open. Derek makes a joke about his magnifying glasses, Sydney obviously points out his sense of humor and adds how much she likes it, and Mark makes the universal "WTF?" gesture in her direction. I think America as a whole would like to know the same thing right now. VO: "Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible. Serious. A grown-up." Syd gets a page, and Mark grabs his drink and comes over while, from another corner, Meredith and Cristina watch the proceedings. Meredith thinks it's a date and asks Cristina for confirmation, who guesses that maybe Sydney is dying. Cut back to Mark, who demands to know, "Is she dying?" Derek tries to defend her and himself, but is slightly too unenthusiastic when he says she's nice and she asked him out. Mark asks if Derek would like him to fake a heart attack. "I do a great fake heart attack." She comes back and Mark leaves, while Meredith laments that, in movies where the hot, sensitive football player kisses the awkward, freaky girl, Sydney is that girl.
Meredith VOs, "We get taller," while Bailey -- not taller, it should be noted -- reaches up and pins up a memo over Callie's name saying that she is the new Chief Resident. Mere continues, "We get older. But do we ever really grow up?" Bailey takes a moment to look at the sign, then starts gleefully pointing at her name and doing a victory dance. So the answer to the question is clearly no, but thank goodness for that, I say, since the world needs more Bailey Victory Dances.
Mere and George are waiting for the elevator, but when it arrives, inside are both Izzie and Derek, who make eye contact with their respective awkward companions. They each turn and walk away to wait for another elevator. George announces that it's come to him and Mere avoiding them, and Mere asks why he's avoiding Izzie. He tells her it's like they aren't them anymore. Only took them a year or so longer than the rest of us to get that one. He tells her that nothing is easy anymore, and they just can't even talk now. Mere then explains that Derek went out with Sydney in what she thinks was a fake date to prove he's healthy and moving on. George asks if she thinks he's actually healthy, et cetera, and Mere just asks to take the stairs.
Callie comes down and sees Bailey, and after a moment where Callie seems to take a deep breath and physically swallow her pride, she comes up and congratulates Bailey. Bailey starts to apologize, but Callie interrupts and assures her she deserves the job. At that very moment, Sydney comes up and agrees, and gives Bailey a way-too-long hug that makes everyone present uncomfortable. She then admits she's also a little bit jealous, but that she'll live with it. Only then does Syd seem to notice Callie and she tells her that she's sorry, but Callie very quickly assures her that she's fine.
The residents are all hanging in their lounge when Bailey comes in with an announcement -- she respects what Callie did, but now things are going to be different. Izzie uses a pause to whisper to Mere about how she and George can't even have a conversation any more. Bailey announces, "This will be a professional environment. So your love lives, your hopes and dreams, the little joys and tragedies that make you who you are have no place in my hospital." Iz whispers some more and then Bailey goes on, "The locker room is for changing, not for crying. The on-call room is for napping, not for anything that requires a locked door." She's been reading my recaps! Iz starts whispering again and Bailey asks if she heard a word Bailey said. At the blank stare she receives in answer, Bailey tells her, "Grow up, I believe, is my point." We all know that's so not happening with Izzie, but man was it good to hear them be told all of that. Cristina grabs Bailey and asks if she can make sure she stays on Hahn's service, and Bailey tells her she's already set but warns her not to screw up or make Bailey look bad in any way; like an eager puppy dancing around, Cristina agrees.
Cut to Cristina giving the rundown on a patient without even taking a breath. Unfortunately, she's so excited, she can't see the grimace on Hahn's face, and when Cristina's done, Hahn cracks that she should let other people speak too. Hahn then delivers the worst insult she possibly could -- she tells Cristina that she could learn something from Dr. Stevens, who knows what's going on with her patients but is also inclusive.
Everyone's pagers go off in a tinny symphony, and the Chief tells Derek that there's been a high-school bus crash and a bunch of kids are coming in.
The first patient to arrive is a girl named Patricia who's got a facial laceration, a broken leg, and "trauma to the buttock area." I suppose if you're a paramedic you get to the point where you can say that without giggling since you are a professional. I, however, am not a professional. "Buttock." Hee! She's still freaking out, and Callie tells her they'll take care of her, but Patricia says nothing is happening until she speaks to the head of plastic surgery. She's a charmer, this one.
The passenger brought in is Marcus King, the chaperone of the group. He's got deep cuts on his arm, and they try to treat him as he protests that they should take care of the kids. At his name, Bailey gets a funny look on her face and goes over slowly to investigate. Marcus explains that the group is from California on a college tour, and their bus slid down an embankment. When they move him, he glances over and sees Bailey and asks, "Mandy?" George looks at Bailey and also asks, "'Mandy'?" No, but seriously -- "Mandy"?
And now for the scenes brought to you entirely by my hearing, because I saw this kid's injury last week on the -on and I'm still trying to un-see it. We get it, effects team; you're very good, and you have an eye fetish. A kid, Danny, has a pencil STICKING OUT OF HIS EYE. After a few beats while everyone marvels at it, Alex comments, "Man, high school really does suck."
Danny is yelling about "that asshat Sully and his stupid friends!" Whoever Sully is, the driver kept turning around and yelling at them to be quiet, and presumably that's when the accident occurred. Presumably he does not mean the lovable blue monster from Monsters Inc. He'd been drawing a logo when the bus crashed and, as his friend Marissa tells them, "then the pencil went all the way in Danny's eye." Derek comments that he can see that. She asks if she should call his parents but Izzie says they'll do that. Danny starts ranting again about the kids, not listening to Derek trying to soothe him, and finally Derek has to tell him that he has to stay calm to keep his blood pressure down so he doesn't lose his eye.
Marcus -- Principal Wood for you Buffy fans, President Palmer The Second for those of you who watch 24 -- is flirting up a storm with Bailey as she stitches up his arm, and she eats up every word. Maybe she shouldn't have given the speech about growing up and being professional quite so soon. ["Seriously. Woodside is a fox." -- Sars] George asks if he should take over, but she insists that she's fine, and brags that she's Chief Resident. Marcus explains that she used to help him with all of his homework. George then listens to his chest and finally gets Bailey to stop giggling long enough to do the same. Marcus asks if anything is wrong, and she gives George a serious look but then giggles about getting Marcus an EKG and paging Hahn. She goes to leave, and Marcus asks pointedly if she can't finish it; in the most un-Bailey move ever, she decides she can stay after all, and has George fetch Hahn.
Patricia is lying on her stomach on a table while Mark works on her face and Callie and Alex work on her leg and butt. She bitches about needing to be back for the state championships, and when Alex asks if she's a cheerleader, she snottily corrects that she's a "pom." Mark knowingly says, "Cheerleaders just jump around. Poms are dancers!" He then exclaims that he was on the football team. Callie informs her that she won't be dancing for at least a month due to her leg and knee fractures, also informing her that she has a cracked coccyx. Patricia asks what that is and they try to explain that it's the bone at the bottom of her spine, but she finally exclaims, "My ass?! I broke my ass." Callie tells her they have to do surgery, but they can do the leg- and face-fixing all at the same time, and Patricia says Mark better be good. He assures her that he's the best, and on his way out whispers to Alex, "Oh my god, hot cheerleader ass!" and they both grin with 15-year-old delight. Callie rolls her eyes.
Cristina and Mere are in the hallway filled with kids, and Cristina is muttering about learning from Izzie. They're each working on a high-school girl, and in keeping with the theme of actors from multiple shows, Cristina's patient is played by Julia Ling -- Anna in Chuck and Kim from Studio 60. Oh no, I just admitted that I'm the one person who watched that show, didn't I? They're having the most inappropriate conversation in the world when Meredith admits that Izzie and George are already having problems, and this leads to Meredith saying she and Derek are having all kinds of sex but still have problems. The schoolgirls look at each other like this is the funniest and maybe the most awesome moment of their lives. Mere tells them, "You didn't hear any of this," and one of them exclaims, "Oh please." Anna/Kim then pulls out a cigarette like a timid would-be bad girl, and Cristina snatches it out of her hand, rolling her eyes at the idea that hearing all about the docs' sex lives gives them license to smoke.
Alex is yelling at one of his interns for not being able to handle "a few stitches on a wino." The kid explains that the patient is yelling for Dr. Grey and he didn't know what to do, and Alex pulls back the curtain to show that the wino is in fact Thatcher. He laughs and yells that he wants his daughter, and Alex tells the intern to keep him there. The question is, just which daughter is he asking for? Richard has overheard, and pulls Alex aside to tell him to get Lexie and not draw Meredith into all of this.
Alex finds Lexie and tells her he needs to talk to her about her dad, but she angrily informs him that they won't be talking about him now or ever again. "You helped me out once, now it's over." Alex accepts this, and lets her go.
Marcus, arm stitched, is surrounded by clipboards and complaining about having to fill out all of that paperwork, even for kids who just got treated for bumps. Bailey giggles some more while George just stares, unimpressed. Marcus then drops his voice and tries to wheedle Bailey into helping him out, which seems to be something he's good at and, unfortunately, something that always gets her. Despite George saying that patients are supposed to fill them out, she agrees to help. Hahn breaks in to listen to his chest, basically shutting them up, and Bailey starts to -- you guessed it -- giggle like they've been busted by the teacher. Then Marcus starts making faces behind her back, like any respectable 34-year-old would do. Hahn tells him he has atrial fibrillation but that he's not symptomatic, which is good. She tells him they'll start him on meds and do an outpatient workup: "A treatment plan you could have made yourself, Dr. Bailey, if you weren't acting like such a blithering idiot." Sometimes I think Hahn is one-note, but at other times, like these, I think she's awesome. Marcus starts joking that the teacher's pet is in trouble, and Bailey is embarrassed but still smiling.
Alex has paged Mere, and he tells her that her dad is in the hospital, much to her unhappy surprise. Alex tells her unceremoniously that he's drunk and noisy and Mere needs to take over. "I have a broken ass I have to get back to." She protests that he should call Lexie, but he tells her Lexie's not coming -- a little bit unfair, since she doesn't know -- and that he'll call the cops soon because Thatcher wants to leave but shouldn't drive. But Thatcher sees Mere and starts yelling, saying that in fact was the daughter he was asking for.
As Meredith treats him, Thatcher drunkenly says he's sorry for what he said last time he was there, including telling her not to come to Susan's funeral, insisting it wasn't her fault. He tells her he'll always regret it and also calls his drinking unacceptable. Meredith looks skeptical, but it also seems hard for her since she's clearly needed to hear him say, and mean, just these things. He then begins to cry, saying it was Susan's birthday. Meredith asks if he wants Lexie, but he only wants her.
Danny's in the CT while Izzie and Lexie wait in the CT room. Lexie comments about how she never knew what to say to kids like him in high school, adding the helpful info that she was prom queen and class valedictorian. And there she goes again, swinging back from growing on me to just being too stupid to handle. Who says that, years out of high school? Izzie has the same reaction, commenting dryly that she shouldn't spread that around. Lexie adds that she had a great group of friends, something Izzie also can't relate to. Derek runs in to look at the screen, and Izzie comments that the pencil lifted the something from the something I have never heard of. There's also a bleed, and Derek wants the pencil out before it gets bigger, so Izzie books an OR.
Bailey is angrily doing paperwork while George stares silently at her, and she declares that she's not a blithering idiot and Hahn had no right to speak to her like that. George asks if maybe Marcus is more than just an old friend...maybe a boyfriend? Bailey explains that he was a track star and she was his tutor, so she helped him with just about every subject under the sun. George doesn't quite buy it, and she adds there was talk about them going to homecoming together but it didn't work out, and she was fine. "Fine" in this case seems to mean, "And I'm still hurt about that years later, but try to tell myself just how 'fine' I am." She also asserts that she's not a blithering idiot, but her statement is belied by all the clipboards she gathers up containing the paperwork Marcus didn't want to fill out on his own.
Hahn, Richard, and Mark are having lunch, and she asks, "Is it me, or are there teenyboppers staring at you?" Mark turns to see Anna/Kim and her friend looking over and giggling up a storm a la Bailey. Mark declares proudly, "I get that a lot. Started when I was their age, and never really went away." Hahn is actually laughing -- she looks nice when she smiles! Mark indicates that they should come over, and they run up. After lots of giggles and "It's embarrassing," they tell Mark that he looks just like Anna/Kim's friend's dad. Mark has no idea how to react other than slack-jawed disbelief, but Richard and Hahn are rather delighted.
At another table, Cristina laments to Callie how, when she tries to impress Hahn, Hahn hates her even more. Callie's distracted by Izzie standing in line, and Cristina says it's not worth it, exclaiming that they aren't talking to each other now. Callie admits that that actually makes her feel better. The unhappy couple then has a run-in, but Izzie makes up an excuse not to sit with George at lunch, and flees.
Callie helps Patricia get into bed, while three of her friends watch and ask if she'll ever be able to use her butt again; Callie assures them that she'll have full butt use in a few weeks. Patricia looks like she could kill everyone in the room with a single glance. Friend #1 comes up and announces that she's honored to fill in as captain, much to Patricia's horror. But she explains, "I prayed on it. And God seems to think it's the right move." Callie looks nonplussed as Friend #1 goes on to say she called someone named Randy and thinks she convinced him to still take Patricia to homecoming, "even though your face and butt's all messed up." Friend #2 adds that she's sure he'll do it. "He's classy that way." He sounds like he could write an etiquette book, especially with the help of these three. Oh, and God. Callie shoos them away, leaving Patricia in tears. She then tries to commiserate, but Patricia starts to sob that her life is over.
Danny is on his way to surgery, and I can finally watch, since now he's just got a pencil sticking out of a wad of bandages on his face. He's on a cell phone, on his way into surgery, and he and his mom exchange "I love you"s; then he's cut off as he tries to give a message to his dad. He then hands Marissa the phone and comments, "Thanks to your piece-of-crap phone, my mom's gonna think I died." I think it's supposed to be endearing teasing, but it comes off kind of dickish. We're not supposed to take it that way, though, so I'll move along. Marissa realizes this is where she has to wait, but Izzie promises to update her. Trying not to cry, and embarrassed to say so in front of the docs, she leans forward and tells him he'd better not go blind and go to a special blind school because she can't go back to junior year without him. He reaches out his hand and tells her, "Later, freak," and they bump fists, each calling the other "freak" until he's wheeled away. Izzie turns back and looks at her, understanding.
Aaaaagh! Surgery! Blood! Pencil! Derek remarks that he hopes Danny's life gets better after high school, and Izzie tells him that he's got a good friend in Marissa, which is a good start. Derek then comments on how Danny should be able to learn that the cliques go away eventually; one of the nurses observing lets out a chuckle. He asks what's funny, and she says she thinks they aren't as evolved as they think. As he asks if she thinks there are cliques in the hospital, every machine starts ringing, and Danny's brain starts swelling. I saw one second of it when I looked up, and was actually glad to be writing this with the stomach flu; I had nothing left in my stomach to vomit when his brain swelled through the hole in his skull. Thankfully, though, I could watch the rest of the scenes in this storyline because the obscenely graphic part is now over.
Derek and Richard watch Marissa, and Derek asks how he tells her that Danny's going to be in a coma the rest of his life. She sees them and jumps up, but before she gets there, Richard warns Derek that he can't tell her anything, since family needs to be notified first. She runs up happily, and to drive the knife further into Derek's chest, she comments that it's only been a few hours without Danny and she's going nuts. She remarks on all the other kids who are crying in the waiting room like they actually know or care about him. She then asks if she can see him, and Derek just answers that he hasn't woken up yet. She asks if Danny's okay, and Derek tells her he'll let her know as soon as they know something.
In Patricia's surgery, Alex asks if she'll get use of her knee back, and Callie says she hopes so, since otherwise her life is "tewtally over." Callie thinks she should be happy to walk away, but Mark speaks up to say that of course she wouldn't, since the pom thing is her whole identity. Callie nods and tells Alex about the Mark/dad comment, and they have a good laugh while Mark gets totally defensive, asking what that has to do with it. Callie tells him, "Well, you just seem really empathetic to her plight, you know? Loss of identity? Shattered self-image?" Alex says that on the flip side, Callie seems happy about what happened to the girl, so Mark pipes up that she's actually happy George and Izzie aren't doing well. There's an awkward silent moment; apparently she told Mark that in confidence. Why anyone believes that anyone else at Seattle Grace would ever keep any gossip to themselves is beyond me.
Cristina runs up to Hahn with a ton of envelopes; she pulled all the x-rays for the day's surgery. Hahn couldn't care less and informs Cristina that she doesn't need them, and after a moment, Callie, who has witnessed the whole thing, takes Cristina aside to save her from herself and tells her to back off. Cristina maintains that she's helping but Callie calls it what it is -- brown-nosing, and says she's just blowing her chance by annoying Hahn. She repeats her advice to back off, and after she leaves, Cristina repeats the words to herself, clearly not knowing what they actually mean, as she's never backed off of anything before today.
Thatcher is still babbling while Meredith works on him, but he's moved on to wishing he knew Mere in high school. He then says she's really strong, stronger than Lexie, and Mere jumps in to say she doesn't know Lexie that well. He pushes himself up on one arm to agree, and then to throw Meredith the bone she's been waiting for her whole life -- that he's proud of her. "I'm a lifetime's worth of proud."
Outside, Mere finds Derek and asks about the date with Sydney, which he'd been expecting. She then tells him her dad is in there, and admits he's quite funny and charming and drunk. "Is it weird that I like my drunk dad better than I like my regular dad?" He tells her it is, a little. She then asks him if he's okay, which clearly he's not; he tells her about his patient and how the patient's best friend still thinks he's going to be okay. Meredith reaches over and takes Derek's hand, and he smiles gratefully. See, how hard was that? Why can't Meredith just continue with that, and at least make an attempt at functionality?
Two of the interns are gossiping about George and Izzie, having heard it from Sloane. They marvel over how they're done after not even a week (oh, sure, a week -- even though I'm pretty sure we've actually had more days in the last couple of episodes than just seven, but no one has ever relied on this show for a timeline that makes sense) and Izzie overhears, horrified.
She finds George and demands her key back, given that apparently they're now broken up. Is anyone surprised that George has managed to not hear the rumor? I didn't think so. She demands to know who he was talking to, and when he admits it was Meredith, she says she knew it. George then guesses that Iz has been talking to her as well, but she still tries to pin it on George.
Lexie's walking down the hall when she passes a window and sees Mere and their dad. Alex comes out, and she asks what's up, and he simply says Thatcher came in drunk; that's what he was trying to tell her when she blew him off. Given the fact that she was embarrassed and clearly misunderstood him, I maintain that he didn't actually "try to tell" her. She can't believe he told Meredith after Lexie said not to do anything, and while he defends himself on the grounds that he was trying to help, she just walks away.
Bailey is sitting by Marcus's bedside, filling out his forms and soaking up every drop of a compliment that he'll give her. He fondly tells her that she hasn't changed, but it's painfully obvious by this point that what she hasn't changed from is being his reliable doormat. A flicker of doubt crosses her face, that maybe she would like to think she has changed, but Marcus keeps sweet-talking her until Richard comes up and asks if she's filling out his paperwork, pointedly telling her that's for the patients and sending her back to work. Right then, Marcus calls out, "Mandy!" much to the surprise of Richard, but he can't ask her about it since Marcus seems to be having a heart attack or something similar. Richard yells for Hahn.
Marissa approaches Derek and asks if she can see Danny, even though his parents won't be there for a couple more hours. It's all he can take, and he sits her down. After a moment, where her face begins to crumble as she senses bad news, he tells her that when he removed the pencil, Danny's artery burst and his brain had nowhere to go. Marissa falls apart, and Derek just holds her and rubs her back as her classmates look on curiously. On paper this might sound a little bit inappropriate, but in actuality, it was incredibly sweet and tremendously heartbreaking.
Meredith walks into the lounge where Cristina is waiting, and happily tells her that she's getting two cups of coffee -- one for her, and one for her dad. Cristina is drumming her fingers and seems not to hear any of it until Mere asks what's wrong. She explains that Hahn is doing a pulmonary embolectomy right then, but Cristina's trying to back off, so she's sitting there doing nothing so that she's not a brown-noser. Mere is rather confused and says it's fine to let this one slide and when Cristina erupts that she doesn't know how to do that, Mere says it's just like cutting a class. Cristina just turns and looks at her while Mere realizes that Cristina never cut a class. Chalk that up to just another one of the many ways Cristina Yang and I are very different people. (Hi Mom! I mean, I never skipped a single class ever, especially not because it was raining and I wanted to stay in and watch General Hospital, ever!)
Hahn spouts a lot of medicalese, which seems to mean that this was a big problem that will need extra work; Bailey angrily tells her she should have taken the problem more seriously and ordered more tests. Hahn concedes that, but adds, "Or maybe you should have. And if you weren't so busy flirting with the patient like a lovesick teenager, maybe you would have."
Anna/Kim and The Other One Whose Dad Looks Like Sloane are standing in the doorway to Danny's room, talking about how sad it is and how one of them had algebra with him. "I think." Marissa is sitting silently, and Izzie rolls her eyes and then approaches her and gently tells her that she'll get through it; Danny would have wanted that. Marissa shoots back that Izzie doesn't know that, since she's a prom queen just like them (at the door) pretending to know what it's like. Izzie says she wasn't a prom queen. "I was the girl in the cheap clothes from the trailer park who got pregnant, and got thrown in the pregnant girls' class, and none of the mothers would let their kids hang out with me. But I got through it. You will get through this." Lexie looks up, stunned to hear that Izzie wasn't like her. Anna then says she's going to write a letter to his parents, which The Other One comments is "beautiful," and Izzie finally sends them packing since they don't know him. I've got to say, all of these depictions of high-schoolers are scarily spot-on, from the life and death "drama," to the copious amounts of concealer used on chin zits, to the gross displays at someone else's tragedy. Marissa apologizes, but Izzie stops her, saying Marissa just lost her best friend. "It's the worst thing in the world." Yes, as Izzie knows so well, because she and George having bad sex is just like Danny basically dying in a freak accident. Some of this story works, but aspects like that really are stretching things a bit.
A pretty woman in scrubs stops Derek and tells him she's sorry about what happened to Danny, since she noticed it seemed to be hard on him. She then babbles, because that's what the women do here, about how it's not good, but if she had a son she'd want her surgeon to be invested in him. Derek is grateful but confused, and she realizes he has no idea who she is (and neither do we). He tries to fake it, and she turns and leaves. He calls after her that she was the nurse in the OR who talked about cliques, and she just turns and smiles.
Patricia is awake and freaking out that she'll never be captain again. Callie tries to help her out by telling her she was recently fired -- prompting a freak-out: "You were fired from being a doctor and they let you cut open my ass?" Callie orders her, "Okay, shut your trap for eight seconds and let me finish." She explains that she was fired from their version of being a captain, which was more about organizing than surgery, but it meant she got to go back to the part of the job she liked, which she calls a gift of sorts. Patricia gives her a wee smile and mercifully keeps her mouth shut.
Cristina is still in the lounge when her pager goes off, and she jumps up and exclaims that it's Hahn. She grabs for the door, then stops and composes herself, then half-walks, half-runs, trying unsuccessfully to be cool, down the hall. In the OR, Hahn mentions not being given everything she needed, and asks Cristina to get her the CT as Bailey looks on. Cristina manages to be mostly cool as she agrees and turns to go, but once outside, she grins and heaves a breath.
Mere drops off some papers where Lexie is working at the nurses' station, and comments that their dad was in the OR. Lexie tells her she knows, so Mere asks if Lexie knew he was drunk and put his hand through a window. Lex asks if there's anything else, so Meredith says she knows it was Susan's birthday and that it was a hard day for both of them -- Lexie with her head to one side, pissed off -- and Mere says he wasn't a problem and was actually charming, but he seemed sad, she'd hate for it to happen again. She then has the absolute gall to tell Lexie that she should keep a better eye on him. Let's pause a moment to think about this. Whether she knew or not about the birthday or whatever, if she's spent so much time reminding Lexie that he's her real father and not Meredith's, don't you think she should then stay out of the business of Lexie and Thatcher's relationship? But the compliments clearly went to her head. Lexie guesses that too, and has had it: "Every day is my mother's birthday. My mother was born in March." She tells Mere that he's a liar, and angrily snarks that she's glad Meredith found him charming, saying that after five drinks he's great, but after nine, not so much. Richard comes up behind them and overhears as Lexie goes on to guess that Thatcher came in and told Mere how wonderful she is and how proud he is of her. She says that one day he'll tell Lexie she's his favorite, and the that she's an ungrateful bitch. One time he wrote her a check for $20,000 because he said she deserved it and he was so proud of her. "A lifetime's worth of proud." This is finally when Mere's face goes from condescendingly sad to realization. Lexie spits, "So, thank you, for letting me know I need to keep a better eye on him. Thanks," and then storms away. Richard walks up to Mere where she's hyperventilating against the wall, and asks her to come in and sit down for a minute.
In Richard's office, Meredith takes a deep breath and apologizes for everything, including keeping him from his job. He assures her there's nothing to apologize for; this is part of his job. "Think of it as the principal's office. Only I'm the nice principal." Yes, he's just the principal that's walked in on you in bed with your boyfriend. He reminds her that he promised Ellis he'd take care of her, and Mere interrupts to repeat that he doesn't have to. "I know I don't. But I do." He hands her a glass of water, and she drinks.
Marcus is out of surgery; he wakes up to see Miranda to his bed. She goes to leave and he takes her hand, which George sees, so he discreetly heads out to wait in the doorway. Marcus says he wouldn't have made it without her, and thanks her sincerely. It's a nice moment, until he asks if she was able to finish the paperwork, and outside George snaps to attention to listen. Marcus is doing the old "I wouldn't ask, but..." song and dance, saying he thinks a lot of it was important. Well, one of your students is brain-dead and another had major surgery, so yeah, I'd say so. Bailey starts stuttering and assures him that she'll finish it now. He thanks her and says she's the best, and then closes his eyes to both sleep and dismiss her. She self-consciously grabs her hand back.
Outside, George grabs her. "With all due respect, this has reached critical mass." He whisper-yells at her that she saved Marcus's life and he's taking her for granted. He says that Marcus deserves a long speech, and that she needs to go in and give him one. She hands off the chart, looking like she's going to, but then just walks away past George and down the hall.
Lexie, in street clothes, gets in the elevator where Alex is waiting, and pointedly stands in front of rather than to him, not looking at him. He announces that he doesn't do secrets, or someone telling him something and promising not to tell anyone else. She turns around and says that this wasn't about a school dance; it was a private family issue. And may I remind you, Lexie, that you've been trying to say Meredith is your family since you got here. These two Grey girls really like to switch up the family/not family when it's convenient for an argument. Alex isn't going to take it and announces, "Your dad's a drunk. I had to start cleaning up my dad when I was seven. That's when I turned into the grown-up of the family. So you got to wait till you were 24 -- good for you." Now it's Lexie's turn to absorb her deserved talking-to.
Bailey is pacing in the lobby, and when Derek passes and wishes her good night, she orders him to sit down. He asks if she's okay, and she grouses, "What do you care, with your hair products and your perfect little face, perfect little life. What do you care?" Derek tries to point out that she's a witness to the fact that his life is kind of screwed up, but she cuts him off to say she pays attention to all types of people; she sees people. She spits, "It's guys like you that don't pay attention to people like me." He densely repeats this, and she, near tears, tells him it's not actually about him, it's about guys like him. She says girls like her exist to do guys' homework and build up their egos, and with that, the true story of Marcus comes out. Derek looks sad for her, and she declares, "I am a successful married mother. I am Chief Resident. I am Chief Resident of a major metropolitan hospital. I am a surgeon who saved his life today." She's now crying that he doesn't see her, and she might as well be the girl in high school with the glasses and the band uniform who it didn't occur to him to ask to homecoming. Derek gives her a moment and asks, "Band uniform. Really?" She hits him and asks if she looks like she wants to be mocked. He agrees that she doesn't, and tells her that in high school he was 110 pounds and hadn't yet discovered hair product, so he had an afro and acne. I do believe I remember something akin to this in the fine, fine film Can't Buy Me Love, in fact. "And I too, wore a band uniform. The sax." She looks surprised and admits that she played the oboe, and she collapses to him. He turns and puts his arm around her and tells her, "I would have been honored to take a girl like you to homecoming."
Mere starts to wrap things up with, "In some ways we grow up, we have families, we get married, divorced..." Izzie opens the front door to find George sitting up waiting for her. He says he was trying to think of a long speech like Bailey would give, but for whatever reason he can't talk to Izzie, which is why he talks to Meredith. She rolls her eyes at him and tells him that they used to be the only people the other one could talk to, which he agrees with. Way to seemingly blame him for everything, Izzie. Glad to see you're going to learn nothing from it at all because clearly you are now perfect. She says she's in love with an incredible guy and they're having problems, and that her best friend would know what to say and she needs to talk to him. George asks why it isn't easier, and says he wants his best friend back, and she agrees. Maybe? Maybe this is finally it? The glorious end? Because with the exception of this, I'm really quite enjoying Season 4 so far.
Mere's VO transitions the scene back to the hospital: "But for the most part, we still have the same problems we did when we were fifteen." Outside, Derek runs after the OR nurse, calling after her by her name, Rose. She's impressed that he learned it and tries to brush him off, but he seems to have absorbed something from Bailey's talk; he stops Rose to apologize for not recognizing her after they worked together for three hours. Too bad for him, she tells him it's actually been 36 surgeries on which they've worked together. "Like I said, hospital's no better than high school." She wishes him good night and leaves, and Mark comes up from behind. "Someone figured out how to get back on the horse." Mark calls, "Could've fooled me!" and walks off, but Derek gets the awesomest last word ever asking, "Hey Dad, want to get a drink?" Mark grabs his chest like he's been stabbed, but has the grace to laugh.
Sydney walks in and greets the two of them at the bar, then asks to talk to Derek for a moment alone. Mark grabs his drink and silently offers his fake-heart-attack services as he leaves. Sydney announces, "Derek, I'm a lot of woman. I bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, serve it with eggs or on a sandwich..." Derek looks like he's not sure what to make of this, but is trying not to laugh outright. "Or crumbled up in a Cobb salad." He comments that she does a lot with bacon, and she says it's not just that; she brings a lot to the table and needs a man who can meet her needs. She then drops the bomb: she thinks he's not ready to be that man. He gracefully says she might be right, and she shakes his hand and says she won't let it affect their work if he won't, and he agrees. It's the cleanest breakup after a non-date in the history of this show, that's for sure.
He shakes his head and looks over to see Meredith looking at a menu as she VOs, "No matter how much we grow taller, grow older..." He walks up to Mere and announces, "Apparently I'm not good at meeting needs. And I don't bring that much to the table!" She answers, "I'm awkward and freaky." Her voice-over finishes, "We are still forever stumbling." She asks if he wants to leave, and he practically leaps from his stool, he wants to so much. As he helps Mere into her jacket, he sees Rose across the bar; she tips his drink to him. Mere's VO wraps up, "Forever wondering. Forever...young." And to his credit, after smiling at Rose, he doesn't look back as he and Mere hold hands and walk out, but I don't think that means that Rose isn't going to be another speed bump in the road of Derek and Meredith.