Despite the episode title, there's no kung fu to be had this week. But there is a skydiver whose parachute didn't open, which I think is exciting enough to make up for it. The only thing is, he turns out to have no injuries, and the only surgery he needs is an appendectomy. As luck would have it, he had on a helmet cam that filmed the whole accident, so the residents gather to watch and realize that he's in love with his skydiving instructor. Meredith feels a particular kinship with him due to her own near-death experience and warns him that the feelings of clarity will leave, and so he'd better tell her that he loves her while he still has the guts. She herself finally realizes that she can't bring herself to stop having breakup sex with Derek because the few moments afterward is her own little bit of clarity, but who knows if this will actually carry over into her moving forward to a more functional relationship with him.
Cristina's been awesome trying to help her out while she tries to figure out why she's an emotional mess, but even she doesn't have the answers for Mere. She does, however, have a solution to a problem facing Hahn and Izzie, namely that their patient needs heart surgery and is allergic to anesthesia. She researches a method that can be used to do the surgery on him while he's awake, but despite the fact that Hahn thinks it's a great idea and uses it, she still has Izzie scrub in instead of Cristina. This leaves Cristina to watch the surgery from the gallery, miming the procedure as she watches.
Izzie is rather freaked out about the whole thing, especially since she's gotten to know the patient and knows how terrified he is. With some encouraging words from George to be herself (as opposed to trying to be Cristina), she ends up making the surgery as comfortable as possible for the patient, and then calms him down and talks him through the procedure when he starts to freak out. The bonus to all this is that she's too tired that night to have the perfect (barf) awesome (retch) sex that she and George had planned.
George himself had an interesting day in which he had to hold on to a wedding dress for hours. Two women were brought in having beaten the crap out of each other to win a dream wedding, and the last one holding the dress wins. Mark, who out of loyalty to Callie wants to give George a hard time, offers George to be the stand-in so that one bride can go have her shoulder put back in its socket. While George is there he ends up bonding with the other bride, who ends up collapsing from internal injuries. She turns out to be sweet and awesome, and George had to let go first to catch her when she passed out, so she wins the wedding over the heinous, bitchy girl. After watching this gross display, Callie decides it's time to just let go, and she and George have a nice moment where they actually talk like the people they were months and months ago before their Wedding of Doom. The mostly warm and fuzzy day comes to a close with Richard, Mark, Derek, and Hahn bonding over a game of Monopoly out at the trailers (Richard has pulled up his own to Derek's for the time being), and finally with Alex and Lexie having some supposedly-no-strings-attached sex back at the house. Unfortunately, Meredith walks out of her bedroom to both her and Lexie's horror, setting up all sorts of sisterly angst for the week.
Over a gorgeous early-morning shot of Seattle, Meredith voices us into this week. "There's this thing about being a surgeon." Wait a second, these guys are surgeons? I thought this was just a relationship drama. "Maybe it's pride, or it's just about being tough. But a true surgeon never admits they need help unless absolutely necessary." Callie's sleeping on Cristina's couch amidst piles and piles of crap. That poor apartment. Cristina and Mere are lying on Cristina's bed, making a list of Meredith's symptoms. She thinks and says, "There's the father thing. The mother thing. The sister thing. The dying and coming back to life thing." Cristina informs Meredith that she's got too many things, and while yeah, she had a pretty crappy life up until now...yeah, Cristina's not wrong at all. Meredith can't sleep, because when she sleeps she has awful dreams and has had a panic attack, and she asks Cristina what's wrong with her. Checking the list, her notes, and a book, Cristina diagnoses her with "severe abandonment issues." Meredith calls psych crap. Well, that's true if you use it to list out all your problems while not trying to actually move past them. Cristina delicately presents an idea to Meredith -- that maybe she and Derek should stop having break-up sex. Meredith shoots her a Look, and Cristina quickly drops it and settles back into bed. Mere muses, "The more available he gets, the more I pull away." Cristina asks what that means, and Meredith says it's just a "Derek thing." Actually, I'd say it's very much a Meredith thing, a thing that's been going on for over three seasons now, and if I were Derek, a thing I'd be really, really tired of dealing with.
Disembodied Meredith continues: "Surgeons don't need to ask for help because they're tougher than that. Surgeons are cowboys. Rough around the edges. Hardcore." Dawn has dawned at Derek's trailer, where we see...a second trailer. "At least, that's what they want you to think." If "hardcore" means "expensive-looking dark wood furniture and soft lighting," then Richard is the hardest. He comes out with two mugs of coffee and sets them down to two carefully folded napkins, as Derek comes out of his own trailer with two breakfast plates and wishes him a good morning. Richard notes, less than excitedly, that they're having trout for breakfast again, sounding very much like a passive-aggressive, unhappy spouse. And like they're an old married couple, Derek tells him not to start. Richard replies, "I'm just saying that a man who is up fishing at three every morning is a man in pain over a woman." Derek thinks he sounds like a country-western song, missing his point that they have woman troubles in common. Richard then says they need to get their mind off of these women, and announces, "What we need is a gentlemen's evening." Derek's confusion isn't cleared by Richard's description: "A good, old-fashioned Gentlemen's Evening. Tonight!" Derek's brow is furrowed skeptically.
Izzie's got a cup of coffee and leans on the frame of a bunk bed, watching George sleep in the on-call room. She whispers to him that this is absurd, him actually sleeping alone in the on-call room when everyone knows the beds are only there for hook-ups. Well, actually what she says is that it's absurd that he's sleeping there when she has a perfectly good bed. But she's not totally avoiding the subject of sex, since she tells him they said they'd wait and be respectful, and they've now done that and she wants some. George is excited that it's going to happen now, as they're in the designated location, but she means tonight. "Tonight we will have hot..." (Doubtful.) "Perfect..." (If you like mild.) "Sex." (Ew.) He's into it and goes to kiss her, and she jumps right up to leave, announcing how she's got to impress Hahn and kick some cardio ass, then stops dead and remembers, "Oh shit. I've got to shave my legs!" George sleepily tells her it's fine if she doesn't, but she asserts, "Our perfect sex requires shaved legs." I'm certain that all this planning is really going to end up in a perfect night; it so often does.
The aforementioned Hahn is doing paperwork when Richard walks up to greet her on her first day, and he introduces her to Derek and Mark. Both of them greet her by calling her "the new Burke," which clearly isn't exactly how she'd like to be known. When the attendings leave, she comments, "Interesting guys. And by interesting I mean 'ridiculously attractive.'" I'm glad that someone there has finally said it. She asks if Richard hires on looks alone or if he also counts skill, and he just dryly tells her it's good to have her there, and takes his leave.
Mark and Derek ponder what a "gentlemen's evening" could be. They don't have an answer, but Mark suspects that strippers are involved. They pass Bailey, and Mark asks her what the first thing is that comes to her mind when he tells her the words "gentlemen's evening." She turns and says definitively, "Tassels. Shiny SEQUINED tassels and one-dollar bills." Mark turns back to Derek and replies, "See? Strippers." Derek is nearly positive that strippers aren't part of the agenda, but Mark decides he's in anyway since he likes being surprised.
Cristina and Mere are in the hallway, and Cristina gives the heads-up: "Mr. Incredible, 12:00." Derek walks by and gives Mere a smile and a saucy hello, which she awkwardly returns. Cristina asks what the hell that was and Mere answers, "That was about a date we have later in the on-call room. It's nothing." On her part it seemed more stilted than sexy, but hey, whatever turns Derek on. Cristina observes, "You sure seem to be losing sleep over a whole lot of nothing."
Outside, Cristina forgets about Mere's problems and starts fretting about her own, upset that Izzie's working with Hahn. She hopes out loud that one of the two ambulances arriving has a trauma that will get her back into cardio for the day. Alex and Callie are also there to greet the wounded, and Alex asks Callie if she'll need help. She replies, "As long as you wanna smash bones. To dust. While people cry." Now this is the Callie that I've missed! Alex also loves it. Ambulance #1 disappoints Cristina. Two girls are bought out amidst a lot of bloody tulle. The first girl, Jackie, has a dislocated shoulder and a lacerated thigh. The other girl, Helena, has a broken nose and a piece of scalp missing. Oh yes, scalp. They scream at each other for ripping out the other's shoulder and hair, respectively, while two guys emerge shouting encouragement and asking if anyone has let go of the dress yet. A bland, exhausted man in a tie explains that this is a store contest, where the last woman left holding on to this wedding dress wins the wedding of her dreams. Callie tries to order them to get their priorities straight and let go of the dress, but they only glare at each other as Jackie declares, "Yeah. That's not gonna happen." The paramedic is amused, probably because now they aren't her responsibility, and Callie throws up her hands and brings them in together. Meredith and Cristina get the second ambulance, which contains a stable but unconscious man who just fell 12,000 feet with a faulty parachute. Cristina thanks the heavens, since clearly there's no way he doesn't have massive internal injuries.
The unfortunate skydiver is named Rick Jacobs, and to everyone's surprise he's now awake and talking. Cristina's lowered her expectations but is still hoping for thoracic, if not cardio, injuries in the form of a punctured lung. A woman rushes in, frantic to see if Rick is okay. They assume it's his wife but she turns out to be his skydiving instructor. She's having a fairly tough time of it, since apparently she watched the whole accident happen from her own functioning parachute. The doctors force her to sit and get out of their way as Richard comes in, taken aback to find the patient talking. Bailey is sure he's just in shock and can't feel the extent of his injuries, and orders a CT scan.
An ongoing theme of the brides' examinations is people noting that they are bleeding all over the dress, and their screams in response that it's not about that particular dress. Alex can't get through all the layers of petticoat to check out the thigh injury, and the girls aren't even quite sure whose thigh it is that's injured. Because there aren't enough people in the tiny room already, Mark arrives to take care of Helena's broken nose. Callie asks if they could just split the prize, but the beleaguered judge moans that he offered them that option fourteen hours previously. Jackie bitches about not losing out on a $100,000 wedding package. Though we don't know anything about the two girls yet, Jackie clearly wears the Bridezilla crown proudly. George wanders in -- well, to be fair, I'm sure he didn't wander, but he's perpetually got an air about him that he's just ended up wherever he is accidentally -- and gets yelled at for noting the blood on the dress. Callie needs to stabilize Jackie's shoulder, and Alex jumps at the chance to get the supplies. I'm not sure why he's so anxious to be helpful today, and it's never addressed, so I'm curious if it's something that's going to come up later; he's never really had any extra interest in ortho -- or Callie -- before today.
Callie then pulls Mark aside while they wait, so that she can gripe about having to work with George. She had requested that they be kept apart, but as luck would have it, now their patients are refusing to separate from one another. Mark, however, tells her she should look at it as an opportunity. She has no idea what he could mean, so he explains that George is an intern: "It's like, half my job, torturing interns." Mark, did you learn nothing last week about being a slightly nicer person in case you ever need a favor? But then again, I kind of like the idea of torturing George, so it all works out for the best. Callie tells Mark that he's sweet, but it won't help...but when she turns around and sees George obliviously staring at the wall like a lost puppy, she turns back and asks, "Torture him how, exactly?"
A strange-looking, rather bug-eyed patient, Mr. Arnold, comments that his hands are sweaty because he's nervous, and we see that he's Izzie's patient and she's doing an exam. She assures him that it's common and that Hahn has done the procedure that he'll be having tons of times. He's talking too much and too fast due to his nerves, and can't believe that they'll be threading a catheter up his leg and all the way to his heart. Izzie continues to assure him that he's in excellent hands, and assures him that he'll be out cold since that's one of his big worries. I, of course, took this exchange to mean we were going to have yet another horrifying "someone waking up in the middle of their surgery" moment. While I was on the right track, thankfully it wasn't exactly that, and I can sleep at night without the fresh image of one of my biggest fears to keep me awake. The man thinks a moment and blurts, "Ivory-billed woodpecker." It turns out he's a birdwatcher and that's what is getting him through this procedure. It's an extremely rare bird, once thought to be extinct, that lives in a tiny patch of Arkansas and he's going to go look for it once he's healthy. He's still rather twitchy, but talking about the bird has also made him excited and happy. While he's talking about how incredible it will be, Izzie hears a throat-clear at the door, and excuses herself to go talk to Cristina.
Cristina's got a sales pitch all worked out. She excitedly tells Izzie that they have a skydiver in the ER who fell with no parachute. Izzie expresses alarm, but Cristina says the point isn't to feel sorry for him, the point is that he's sure to need lots of surgery and that Cristina will graciously give all of it to Izzie if she can have this one cardio patient. Izzie refuses, and despite Cristina's protest that cardio is her Thing and not Izzie's, Iz points out that she likes Hahn, her patient, and cardio in general. Cristina refutes this: "You are flirting with cardio. I am married to cardio. You will end up marrying general surgery." She goes on that Izzie isn't hardcore enough for cardio, but Izzie's pissed at Cristina's unfortunate analogy. She asks angrily, "So you are telling me to stop flirting with your husband." She says Cristina's not getting any favors by insulting Izzie's personal life, and despite Cristina's perfectly believable objections that she didn't mean it That Way, Iz shuts her down and heads back in to tend to Mr. Arnold.
Rick's slowly being fed into the CT while Richard, Bailey, and Derek take bets on what injuries they'll find and what will be the most important to fix first. Cristina comes in and over-helpfully offers to fetch Dr. Hahn for any cardio issues. Once the image comes up, though, it's a convention of furrowed brows as they all stare and realize they can't find anything wrong. After a moment, the Chief excitedly notes a hematoma, which Meredith realizes is his appendix. After a 12,000-foot freefall, all Rick needs is an appendectomy, to the disbelief of everyone. I'd like to go to Vegas with this guy if he's that lucky. I know a guy whose parachute didn't open in real life, and he's lucky to only be paralyzed from the waist down. Rick, to the roulette wheel!
Alex goes to the supply closet for whatever one needs to stabilize a shoulder, and finds Lexie sitting on the floor, doing paperwork. I love that now that they aren't as convenient to the storyline, all of the interns other than Lexie have disappeared, and that our residents are back to seeing patients by themselves. When Alex points out the obvious about her charting there, she defends herself by saying that it's quiet and nice. Alex answers, "And a closet." She admits that when she's outside, then she's "the other Grey who Cristina likes to humiliate and kick around," but she's not in the closet, so it's her place. Alex calmly tells her every intern class has a runt, and if she keeps acting like this, it will be her. While she's chewing on this, he orders her up to do ortho with him for the day.
Back in Bridal Hell, Jackie is hollering, objecting to something that Callie tells her is the only way. Taking out her vocal cords would be the "only way" to make her bearable, but alas, that's not what they're talking about. Since she needs both her shoulder and her leg treated, Mark explains that she needs a proxy to hold on to the dress while she's gone. I wonder who that could possibly be? The husbands-to-be gripe at each other about who's going to do it until Mark announces that George will. George hopefully asks if it's just for a minute. I think this is one of the reasons I find all of his romantic encounters hard to believe -- he's so flighty 90 percent of the time, I can't imagine he could also be a man that would light someone's loins on fire. Mark says seriously, "No one ever said internship was easy," as Callie licks her lips and looks at her feet to keep from smiling. As the husbands-to-be stare, George angrily snaps off his gloves and, with the tiny shreds of pride he has left, picks up the dress. One of the guys asks, "Dude, your job kinda sucks, huh?" Jackie, now that she's free, decides to care about the pain in her shoulder, and hollers at the doctors to be careful as she moves away. Alex and Lexie arrive, and Alex observes, "Look, Bambi's a bridesmaid." Callie turns to Mark and announces, "You're right, this did cheer me up." It looks like it cheered up the whole room, minus Jackie, who probably wouldn't be cheered unless they were all literally worshipping at her feet.
Bailey gives Rick the good news about his non-injuries; he's clearly in shock, and asks how that's even possible. Really springy shrubbery is my first guess. Bailey just says that the body is amazing, and sometimes things like these just happen, and she seems rather delighted at his good luck. Sally is in the room, still terrified at how close he came to dying, but Rick's near escape is sinking in and he feels like he can face anything now that he's faced death. Mere smiles at him and adds that it changes a person. Well, it changes a person until, for story reasons, it doesn't anymore, and the person spends the bazillion episodes lamenting how they wished they'd changed more. Rick turns to Sally, clearly with Something Important to tell her, but in true television style she interrupts him to tell him not to worry, that she'll make sure and destroy the video of his fall so he never has to relive it. She runs out of the room to take care of that while he calls after her, crestfallen. But Cristina has started salivating, and tries to keep her cool while she asks after the video.
George is still hanging out with the dress, still incredibly unamused. Cristina walks in and joins the husbands-to-be, Meredith, Alex, and the contest judge (who is reading a newspaper) to gape at him. She asks if this is it, and Meredith admits that she thought it would be more exciting. Cristina announces that a monkey could hold a dress. A monkey would also be far more entertaining and probably less petulant. George tells them it's a lot harder than it looks and Helena nicely tells him not to let them psych him out. Her fiancée protests that he's the competition, and the judge asks Alex if they're allowed to give morphine to non-patients. If that's the case, they should also give it to recappers for the pain that still lingers from Season Three. Alex is enjoying heckling over Meredith's protests, but Cristina is able to lure them both away by dangling the disk that contains Rick's video of his ill-fated skydive.
They've gathered in a lounge; Mere has made some popcorn, and they settle in and watch. Izzie joins them and when she hears what it is, she declares that they're sick. Cristina contends that it's not a snuff video since he lives, and her tone of voice implies that this makes it not sick at all. Izzie can't not watch, in the end, and the three of them narrate the action on the TV as neither of his chutes open. They marvel that there isn't any screaming, but then think he might be saying something, and turn up the sound. Why on earth would they wonder why there's no screaming if they're watching the video without the sound? It makes no sense, other than that they needed to turn up the sound mid-fall to highlight that Rick is yelling about how much he loves Sally and he can't believe he never told her. Izzie asks who Sally is, and they say she's the instructor. Cristina then realizes that Izzie's there instead of in surgery; Izzie explains about the anesthesia allergy, which clearly sets the wheels turning in Cristina's head.
Meredith and Cristina are left alone in the room, and as Cristina searches on the computer, Meredith muses yet again about how she drowned, actually died, and then realized how stupid her issues actually are. They're even more stupid if all you do is talk about them and never make any effort to change, and they're starting to give me a headache every time this subject comes up. If this storyline doesn't get shaken up a bit soon, it's going to get dangerously close to last season's levels of waffling and stupidity. Cristina asks Meredith how these problems apply to her. Of course they don't; Mere just answers by continuing the subject. She's amazed that Rick nearly died and only wanted to tell Sally that he loved her. She got the same chance and what has she done with it? And God bless Cristina, she finally informs Meredith, "You know, being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things!" Meredith agrees, which in itself means she didn't hear a word, since it's yet more being aware without doing; meanwhile Cristina rips a paper out of the printer and runs out.
She finds Hahn and breathlessly tells her that she knows how they could perform Mr. Arnold's surgery. Hahn starts to explain why it won't work as if she's talking to a slow child, but Cristina forges ahead and says that they can do it while he's awake. Over Hahn's protests, Cristina explains that they could do a high thoracic epidural that would numb him from the chest down. Hahn is finally listening, and when Izzie comes up with his discharge papers, Hahn tells her to wait a moment before they do that.
Because he is a logical individual, Mr. Arnold is absolutely horrified at the idea of being awake for the five to six hours of surgery, but Hahn maintains that it's his best option. Seeing him hesitate, Izzie blurts out, "Ivory-billed woodpecker." Izzie blurts out a lot of stupid things, and everyone seems to think this is another instance. But she looks at Mr. Arnold and tells him this is his only chance to see it, and after pondering for a moment, he agrees. As soon as he consents, Hahn tells Izzie they'll scrub in ASAP. Izzie actually pauses and protests that this was Cristina's idea, but Hahn asks if she wants in or not, and Izzie does. Over Cristina's objections, Hahn informs her there will be standing room in the gallery, and orders Izzie to book the OR. Cristina's left alone to think about how she just got royally shafted.
Richard's staring at the board, seemingly less than thrilled that there's an awake open-heart surgery scheduled. Derek comes up and interrupts him to talk about the gentleman's evening, but he can't seem to break through Richard's worrying. He tells Richard that he invited Mark, and wants to know what to tell him to expect. Richard finally turns and heartily tells him, "Tell him to expect a good time!" Derek asks if that involves cigars and whiskey, and Richard just pats his shoulder. "A good time, Shep. You know?" Well, actually, Richard, he doesn't. That's why he keeps asking you.
Jackie is still chattering away, now complaining that the doctors don't know how hard it was to stand in a display window for two days, and pathetically adds that it's the hardest thing she's ever done. Callie seems unmoved by this display of heroism, and warns her that she's risking permanent damage to her shoulder because of this contest. Lexie then pipes up and asks Jackie what her dress looks like, to Callie's horrified surprise. Jackie softens, and -- in a baby voice that I'm sure she thinks makes her seem sweet -- begins to dreamily describe the sweetheart neckline and the beading. Lexie then asks if she'll be wearing her hair down to cover her hunchback. Callie suddenly looks at Lexie like she's a new person, as Jackie demands to know what she means. Lexie explains that since Jackie's not having the surgery, she'll probably have a lot of swelling and purple discoloration that looks like a hunchback, but wearing her hair down might cover it. Jackie demands to know why she wasn't told, and Callie innocently shrugs, to which Jackie demands to know how fast they can get the surgery done. It's times like these, seeing girls like this getting married, that I do wonder why I'm still single. Although if my significant other didn't dump me on the curb for acting like this, he's probably not the right person for me anyway.
Derek and Mark run into Hahn on the magical walkway, and Mark says he heard a crazy rumor. Hahn informs him somewhat proudly that she really is performing open-heart surgery on a man while he's wide awake. Derek, who really shouldn't stand directly to Mark when they're in matching scrubs because then it's obvious that he's, like, a foot shorter, brags that he's done tons of brain surgeries on awake patients. Together, Mark and Hahn tell him it's "not the same thing." While Derek pouts for a moment, Mark asks Hahn if she's ever heard of a Gentleman's Evening, explaining that Richard is throwing one. Mark adds that he's pretty sure it doesn't involve porn, but he's not positive. I think that, more than anything, is the most realistic welcome Hahn has gotten to Seattle Grace, at least in terms of what subjects are taboo in the workplace. Namely, nothing. She pauses a moment and looks back and forth between the two before asking them, "Are you two a couple?" They laugh, and then their faces fall when they realize she just might be serious; she tells them she was just checking, and leaves. They get indignant and puff out their chests a bit to seem manly while they wonder why she'd ask that. But then Mark goes back to more pressing issues and admits, "I'm worried about this Gentlemen's Thing."
George is still valiantly holding onto the dress when Izzie walks up and asks if he has a second. George looks at her a moment and asks, "Seriously?" Well, it's Izzie -- I wouldn't put it past her to actually expect him to let go and lose just to have a conversation. He just changes hands so that he can turn around for a modicum of privacy, and she tells him she'll have to push their perfect evening back a few hours. He's totally fine with it, and she explains about the awake open-heart surgery. Helena remarks from behind George that it sounds intense, and Izzie heartily agrees. She then tells George that Cristina would be all over the surgery, but all Izzie can think about is Mr. Arnold being scared. "I'm not hardcore. I'm not hardcore enough for this." This from a girl who was just bragging about how she's an ass-kicker raised in a trailer park. If this is an effort to get me to soften my opinion of her, it's going to take a lot more than her caring about one patient. George assures her that she's not hardcore like Cristina, but that she's her own brand of hardcore, and then realizes he might have just sounded really dirty, and didn't mean it. Mr. Future Jackie calls out that he should mean it, with a lecherous smile on his face. George just sends Izzie away, but on her way out she realizes her legs are still hairy and begins to melt. He yells firmly that she should go be hardcore Izzie, which seems to knock her back into control, and she sweetly thanks him and leaves. He turns back to Helena, who happily asks if that's his wife. George looks both happy and bashful as he answers, "I don't know you well enough to have this conversation."
Richard's in his office and Hahn comes in, responding to a page. He's angry at her for planning this awake surgery without consulting him, but before he can really get going, she asks, "Did Burke run every surgery past you?" He tells her that she's new, so she breaks right back in again to tell him she just wants to know the ground rules, and repeats her question about Burke. "And what about Pretty and Prettier? They run all their surgeries past you?" Richard asks if she means Derek and Mark -- wait, does this mean he has other surgeons just as good-looking that we haven't even seen yet? And also, which one is Pretty and which one is Prettier? I guess that's just for everyone to fill in on their own depending on personal taste; there's no wrong answer. Hahn nails Richard to the wall, saying she means all of the male attendings who he also just happened to invite to a Gentlemen's Evening, and quipping that she didn't know the hospital was run like "some old boys' club." He protests, but she continues that it's just like an old law firm taking only the white associates out for a country club weekend. And while I laughed, because her delivery is amazing and I like how she's shaking up the hospital, I also think this is going a bit too far. I think it's just a bunch of guys getting together to moan about women problems, though how this differs from any workday is beyond me. She's left Richard speechless, and leaves with, "Good talk. I gotta prep for my surgery."
Pretty (or Prettier) is in bed with Meredith in the on-call room, spooning with her. She starts to talk about when she was dead, and how before she went in the water everything seemed so complicated, but then he pulled her out and she came back, and for a moment everything was so clear. "As if the water had washed everything clean." She asks if he remembers, and yeah, oddly enough he does. She pauses and says, "Me too." His face goes from showing a glimmer of hope back to dark again, and he kisses her. Mere just stares; I think she's supposed to be pondering all of her Deep Issues, but she just looks vapid and blank.
Izzie is by herself in the empty OR, and she lies on the table and looks around, thinking about what it all looks like. She turns and sees a monitor with herself on it, so she gets up and turns it away so Mr. Arnold won't have a front-row seat to his own heart surgery, before looking around some more to view the room from a patient's eyes. Last week we had all the PR showing us that George is a good guy, and this week the campaign for is Izzie.
In a semi-dark room, Helena and George are standing and still holding onto the dress. Do they really never turn on all the lights after dark at Seattle Grace? I've never seen an actual hospital so dark the moment the sun goes down each evening. They both look exhausted, and George tells her he can't imagine how she did it for two days. Shouldn't he do her the courtesy of not looking as tired as she does, given that she has been at it for two days, and was semi-scalped in the process? He could look a little bit more alive for her sake, given that, unlike Jackie, she's been quite sweet to him all day. She challenges him to let go, but he points out that if he lets go, he's not just losing Jackie's wedding; Dr. Sloane will kill him. She stares at him a moment and then tells him about her mother who manages a grocery store, proving that of the two, she is definitely the Good Bride to Jackie's Bridezilla. Her mom has gone into tons of debt planning Helena's wedding because it's her dream, and what she's been living for since Helena's dad left. Helena declares that she can do this however long it takes for her mom, since her mom has done so much for her. Her story over, she blinks hard and begins to sway, and George hollers for a crash cart and catches her as she passes out.
She's been rushed to surgery, and while Richard and George work on her, Richard comments how much pain she must have been in without saying anything. George replies that holding onto the dress was humiliating, but that when someone is trying to break you, it gives you drive. He gets a little lost in his own story and goes on about how holding on and refusing to give up was hardcore in its own way. Richard has been watching him over his face mask, and mentions that he heard Sloane was hazing an intern all day. "I take it you didn't buckle." George, who is such a good guy he of course didn't realize how much his description of Helena matched himself too, admits that he didn't. The Chief replies, "Good man, O'Malley." Maybe he should make him a "Good Man" nametag to wear on his scrubs. It would be more subtle than the events of the past two episodes.
Mr. Arnold is in surgery, looking around with wild, too-wide eyes. Before they begin the surgery, Izzie wheels up an IV bag with a picture of an ivory-billed woodpecker taped to it, which makes Mr. Arnold relax the tiniest bit. As they start to cut, he exclaims at how he can't feel anything, and Izzie talks him through the steps. She tells him they're going to start the saw, and when it revs up, he starts to panic until Saint Izzie tells him she's gotten some music for him and a nurse puts headphones over his ears. He then starts to panic anew at the smell, and Izzie sympathetically and calmly tells him he'll get used to it and everything will be okay. He calms a bit and looks up to see a gallery full of people staring down at him.
Bailey's working on Rick's appendix, and comments to Meredith that it makes no sense to her to jump out of a plane of one's own free will just to try to cheat death. Meredith, as conversationally as if she's discussing lunch, tells her that there's a "clarity thing" when someone crosses over, and that everything melts away and you become fearless. Oh. My. Goodness. We. Know. Already.
With a giant brace on her shoulder, Jackie wakes up from surgery and her first words are, "Did I win?" Callie ignores this and tells her the surgery went well, so Jackie asks again who won. Alex informs her that Helena collapsed and is in surgery, so Jackie figures, "So I won? She collapsed, which means I won, right? Where's the judge?" Callie loses it, and begins to yell at her about her priorities, saying she shouldn't fight this hard for a wedding. "You fight this hard for a marriage." I don't know if you're aware, but coincidentally, Callie was just fighting for her own marriage -- what a coincidence! She continues yelling that sometimes even that is a lost cause and you need to learn when to let go, then yells directly at Jackie to let go. Jackie looks like a child who lost her favorite toy and whimpers, "Yeah, but...did I win?" Callie has already stormed out, and Alex sighs and leaves her alone.
Cristina watches Mr. Arnold's surgery from the gallery, and mimics all of the moves while Hahn works below. Derek sits down to her, and she condescendingly tells him that Izzie taped a picture of a bird to an empty bag and put it in Mr. Arnold's eyeline. Either not noticing or ignoring her tone, he comments admiringly that it was smart and that he wouldn't have thought of it. After a moment, Cristina agrees, seeming almost sad to do so. Derek's less interested in watching the surgery than he is moping, and he tells Cristina, "She doesn't let me take care of her. That's not my job anymore. She won't let me." Cristina glances at him and tells him, "I'm taking care of her." I wouldn't go so far as to say she's nice, but it's a small, good moment between the two people that love Meredith most. I'll focus on that and ignore the fact that I don't think Meredith has ever let Derek take care of her. No matter what the state of their relationship, she's kept the taking-care confined to herself and Cristina.
In the OR proper, Mr. Arnold can't stop talking nervously. He asks if they're looking at his heart, as Richard walks into the gallery above to observe. Hahn tells him that better than looking, they're fixing his heart. He looks back up and again sees the huge crowd in the observation deck, and asks if they're looking at it too. Izzie tells him they are. I think I would have requested to have the crowd not watching, since I would be awake and stuck staring at them the whole time. But that would be far less dramatic, wouldn't it? Mr. Arnold can't seem to take it anymore, and starts to panic about being cold. Izzie tells him they'll get him blankets to cover his legs, but this sends him completely over the edge, and he begins screaming manically about all the people watching and demands they cover up his heart and stop the surgery. For all the commotion, the people watching him just continue to stare blandly.
Hahn tries to get him to calm down since the machines are all beeping like crazy, which we know means things are really bad. Izzie then walks around the table and grabs Mr. Arnold's head, forcing him to pay attention to what she's saying, and to look at the observation deck and pretend that the people are birds he's watching. He's convinced he can't do it, but she orders him to focus on one particular woman and to tell her what kind of bird the woman is. I can see the request now when they were casting this extra -- "looking for someone with unusually long neck to be compared to bird in medical drama." Stuttering, he finally manages to say that with her long neck, she's an ibis. Nice for her ego that he called her that and not an ostrich. It's calmed him down a bit, and he turns and looks at Cristina, or rather the woman doing the "dance with her fingers." He calls her a purple sandpiper and adds, "Those are tough little birds. Those are survivors." I'm surprised he didn't just go ahead and add, "They can get through challenges thrown at them by their tough bird overlords." Derek's moping with his chin in his hand, and Mr. Arnold calls him a black-headed nightingale thrush. Then he turns to Richard, who is standing up, and rather reverently says, "The tall one, standing there, watching over everything, over everyone. He doesn't miss a thing. He's a great blue heron." Richard nods, probably at something in the surgery, but it looks like he's agreeing with the assessment. Since Mr. Arnold's calmed down, Hahn resumes her work.
Callie and George pass each other in the hallway, and she pauses to ask how Helena did in surgery. She's actually friendly as she mock-begs him to say he let go first, since she couldn't handle it if Jackie won. George just smiles at her and when she asks him what, he sincerely says he didn't know if they'd be able to talk ever again. She tells him quietly, "I'm letting go. I have to. Let go." And with that she walks off. Don't let the symbolism hit you on the way out!
In Helena's room, her fiancé asks her why she didn't tell anyone she was hurt, and she admits that she knew he'd make her let go. Sweetly he confirms, "Hell yeah, I would've!" And while we've been clobbered over the head with how she's the nice, deserving bride, I have to admit she is really likable and sweet, and I'm getting a little warm and mushy about them right now. She tells him it doesn't matter since she lost anyway, but George pipes up and tells her that he let go first. She can't believe it, but he explains, "Someone had to catch you!" The judge walks in then, as if he'd been waiting for the cue, and blandly hands her the check and tells them to have a nice life as he glides out. Helena's crying and saying that they actually did it, and her fiancé proudly tells her that she did it. "This is all you." George watches them, hopefully taking notes on what a functional, loving relationship looks like.
Mere cleans up Rick's scar, and he admits that he knows it's silly, but he's a little bit disappointed that it's his only scar from the ordeal. Meredith tells him that it goes away, and logically he thinks she means the scar. She of course is talking about the feeling that he can do anything -- that clarity goes away, and then he'll go "right back to being the coward who can't tell the person you love how you feel." He's still looking kind of confused -- I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that it's from the shock to his body, and not because he's that dense -- and she whispers that she saw the video. He's absolutely horrified, and like he's in junior high tries to make sure that Sally won't see it and learn how he feels. He goes on about how great and out of his league she is, and how surely she can't feel the same way. Meredith points out that if she doesn't, then he can move on, but if he never finds out how she feels, "then that won't be your only scar." He smiles at her, and Sally walks in, so Meredith goes out with a smile back at him.
Mark and Derek are enjoying a drink outside the trailers, and Mark asks if Richard has any fetishes. I think that these worries speak volumes more about Mark himself than about the general idea of a Gentlemen's Evening at this point. Richard walks up, and Derek tells him they're freaked out and demands to know just what is a Gentlemen's Evening. As if it's the most obvious thing in the world, Richard throws up his hands and answers, "It's an evening with no ladies! Just gentlemen!" Mark can't believe that's it, but his gaping is interrupted by a female voice observing, "Pretty boys living in the woods. This is very charming. Or sad. Not sure which." Mark asks what happened to the "no ladies" part, and Richard just tells him, "Plans change."
As they leave the hospital, Lexie asks Alex what he's doing. Alex wants to know what she means, but being red-blooded young folks, you know she knows he knows she knows what he means, though she's a little bit embarrassed about it. He tells her, not unkindly, but bluntly, "Look. I'm not a nice guy. I don't date, I don't call the day, I'm not looking for a relationship because I'm never good at them. And honestly I'm kinda hung up on somebody else, so, the only thing you're gonna get from me is sex. That's it. And that's never enough for girls like you." In an Alex way, it's a compliment, that she's a good girl who deserves more than that. She watches him go as Meredith's VO explains, "Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn't just about being tough."
Mark is yelling at Hahn that something isn't fair, but she just yells, "In your face!" over...Monopoly, America's favorite board game. VO: "It's about acceptance."
George and Izzie are in her room with enough candles going to start a forest fire, and as they lean in to kiss, her face crumbles. This has to be awful déjà vu for him, and in the same house where he last made a woman cry! I can't focus on anything other than the crazy bra Izzie is wearing, which has what appear to be yarn tassels hanging off of the straps. Really? Is that what the kids are wearing these days? She cries that she's totally exhausted and that she wants to do it, but she can't do it tonight. She's also clearly spent a little too much time with Mr. Arnold, because she gets crazy eyes as she tells him that this is like a rare bird for them to be together for the first time since their drunken encounter, and that she doesn't want to waste it. "I want to enjoy our rare bird, George! I need to enjoy our rare bird!" Well, if the mood hadn't been killed by the crying, or the yarn tassels, using the bird metaphor probably did it. He agrees, and makes a bad excuse that his hand is killing him from holding the dress. She'd probably be unconvinced if she weren't so upset. They lie down and curl up in bed to go to sleep, but he notices something and picks his head up to ask her if she only shaved one leg. She starts to cry anew and apologizes, and he works to calm her down again. Phew, safe for another week from having to witness the two of them doing the nasty.
"Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once." Meredith muses about listening to the voice-over and taking a sleeping pill, but Cristina tells her not to; she'll just get strung out and "turn into a bad after-school special." They're in Meredith's bed, and Cristina leans back and shuts her eyes, telling Meredith they'll just sleep. It's a great moment -- one that's a really true depiction of true best friends. Meredith doesn't close her eyes, and finally admits that she can't stop seeing Derek; that it's not about the sex, but about the moment afterwards when the world stops. "I just feel so safe. So safe. I'm not ready to give that up. Does that make me sad and weak and pathetic?" Cristina admits, "A little bit." Meredith thinks about it and asks, "What do I do." And Cristina has to take a big step, for her, by admitting defeat and whispering, "I don't know."
As they lie there, Mere's VO cheerleads, "You don't have to be tough every minute of every day. It's okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments where it's the best thing you could possibly do." Someone is letting down their guard outside, as evidenced by the laughter and the sound of something crashing. Mere gets up to investigate, and finds her half-sister wrapped in a sheet and giggling with a shirtless Alex.
Meredith's voice adds, "As long as you choose your moments wisely." Lexie, very carefully, pleads, "Alex, please tell me that you don't live with Meredith Grey." It's really unfortunate that she didn't get the memo that anyone who works with Meredith will at some time or another live in that house. Meredith, meanwhile, just leans miserably against her bedroom door, probably to think some more about, but not do anything about, her problems.