Wow. We spend FAR too much time between Addison's legs during this episode. I mean, really. Thankfully, though, we don't become personally acquainted with her va-jay-jay. As it turns out, Addison got poison oak on her pookie and she thinks this is a karmic payback for screwing Mark a year ago. Addison finally clues Derek in on her blistering cootch and he enjoys a good hearty laugh over it, as do we all.
In the karmic sense, George thinks that, because he's a doormat -- erm, I mean, "a nice guy," the result of him sleeping with Meredith should be more of the dream-fantasy lounging-by-the-pool variety and not the she's-ignoring-him-and-he's-moping-all-over-the-damn-place variety that's actually occurring. But the universe is listening, George, and it's telling you to date that hot doctor who helped set your shoulder. Grow a pair, buddy, and date outside the damn house, okay?
Denny the Magical Heart Patient shows up long enough to talk about karma and charm the proverbial pants off of Izzie, much to Alex's chagrin. Especially when she forgets a date with Alex in order to make googly eyes at Denny. Aw. There's a rush on charming heart patients, apparently, because another dude shows up with an aneurysm and teaches George a lesson about love and how we shouldn't waste our time on bitches who don't love us back. Or maybe I'm projecting a bit.
Answering my prayers, George grows a pair and moves out of the House of Blue Tequila and manages to get Hot Doc's phone number as well. The pair he grows isn't all that large, however, seeing as heâ¦just moves in with Cristina and Burke. What, these people haven't heard of motels?
Previously on Grey's Anatomy, Mere took off Georgie Porgie's shirt and made all the little girls cry. During the previouslys, we also revisit Saddison talking about her ex-lovah McSteamy, and the Magical Heart Patient Denny who fell in love with Izzie before he even met her. That should bring us up to date enough for this episode, wherein I will spend 95% of the recap yelling at my TV, "SHUT UP AND GROW A PAIR ALREADY, GEORGE!"
We open on George, sitting on his bedroom floor in the dark. And, shockingly, it's his voice we hear in the voice-over instead of Meredith's. George's voice-over stutters just as much as George does in real life, so I'll sum it up for you in one simple phrase: George and Meredith fucked up and now regret their hasty decision to attempt sexual relations. Meredith is lying on top of her bed fully clothed as George says something about doing things that might make karma bite us in the ass.
McDreamy's Trailer of Tensely Doomed Marriages. Derek and Saddison are in bed, thankfully not screwing. The dog enters and scrambles all over them, obviously needing to go out. Derek mumbles at the dog that he's coming and he'll be right there and I'm sure that Doc the dog understands all this because he took an English-to-Canine language class back in Puppy Day School. Note to McDreamy: Dogs don't have bachelor's degrees; when they have to pee, and you don't take them out, THEY WILL DO IT ON YOUR SHOES. Saddison gets up and offers to take Doc out so that Derek can sleep. "Unless you wanna talk?" she asks. "Oh, god," rasps Derek. "Here it comes." Saddison blabbles that they can talk about anything he wants to talk about if he wants to talk about anything because she thinks they need to talk because he's not talking. Or something like that. "It's too early in the morning for me to interpret girl flip-out into normal conversation," he says in exasperation. Heh.
Addison thinks that Derek's lack of yelling is significant, because usually, he's a yeller and he's not yelling now, even though Mark was (or is -- it's never really established whether or not Mark dropped through a hole in the ground after the last episode) just in town. Addison wants some reaction from her husband, even if it's a bad one. Derek doesn't want to yell. Addison wants him to yell. Derek wants his wife to bugger off and take the dog for a walk. Addison wants her husband to acknowledge that she did a bad thing and forgive her for it. I want both of them to shut up, sign the damn divorce papers, and stop BOTHERING me with their stupid SHAM of a marriage.
We head back to the House of Shame, where Meredith is listening to her door to make sure George isn't walking down the hallway so that she can avoid an awkward moment. She opens the door and…there's George, walking to the stairs. Hello, awkward moment. Luckily, Mere and George don't have to talk to each other, because Alex busts out of Izzie's room with his pants around his ankles and makes tracks for the bathroom. Mere and George look at each other with embarrassment oozing out of every pore. Izzie steps out of her bathroom and greets each of them in turn and her sex hair is HIGH-larious. It looks like she dressed up in a period costume with matching wig, filmed a scene where she was rolling around on the moors with Heathcliff, then retired to her trailer, boinked her boyfriend without removing her costume or wig, and fell asleep. Then she woke up, bent over at the waist, grabbed some AquaNet and sprayed the shit out of her hair, changed into pajamas, and…walked out of her bedroom to greet Mere and George. This sex hair is awesome. This sex hair is so awesome, it needs its own damn trailer.
So, Mere and George are standing there, all embarrassed and silent, and Izzie mistakes this for judgmental silence on their part. "What?" she says in a snotty tone. "So I slept with him again. So I'm a big whore. A big horny whore who can't get enough. Can we get over the shocked silence already?" Mere and George just look at each other as George says something about karma and how, any way you slice it, karma sucks. And thus, we have tonight's theme.
Medicine Crüe Locker Room. Everyone's getting ready for the day. George goes to wash his hands, but Meredith's at the sinks, so he turns and skitters off like the four-year-old he is. Alex, Izzie, and Cristina are observing Mere and George and their odd behavior and they're speculating as to what's going on. Alex thinks George caught Mere doing McSteamy. Or maybe McDreamy. "Did I just call that dude 'McDreamy'?" asks Alex. "Oh, you know you did," sasses Cristina. Heh. Alex snuggles up to Izzie in plain view of the whole locker room and tells her she is ruining his life. She's like, uh huh, yeah, go play with yourself. Izzie's totally using Alex for sex and he has NO clue. Love it.
Izzie and Cristina stalk over to the silent Mere and George and demand to know what's going on. Mere and George act guilty as hell, but they don't spill the goods. Rounds begin with a lovely middle-aged gentleman in a hospital bed (played by Mark Harelik, who I think I've seen in several Will & Grace episodes), whose fiancée is sitting by his side. Ann Cusack is playing the fiancée and I have a huge girl crush on her. So Ann is asking Mark what kind of flowers they should have at their wedding and they're humorously cute about their upcoming nuptials. Burke enters and Cristina explains that Mark had chest pains overnight, but has no history of heart disease in himself or his family. Ann says he's as healthy as a horse. Mere and George keep obviously not looking at each other, like, WAY TO DO YOUR JOBS, you infants.
Burke gently tells Mark that his x-rays show a large mass around his heart and Mark takes this news well, asking if "mass" is code for "tumor." Ann's immediately all up in Burke's business, saying that there's no way Mark can have a tumor because he's incredibly healthy. Burke ignores her and tells Mark he wants to do an angiogram as soon as possible, and Mark thinks this would be a fabulous idea. Everyone leaves and George corners Cristina, asking her if Meredith's said anything about anything to anyone. Cristina's like, no, and if you're not gonna spill, then to hell with you. George is like, well, good, because I didn't want to talk about it anyway! Cristina's like, want a bib with that pacifier? George is like, WAAAAAH. No, really. Coming down the hallway toward the Medicine Crüe is Addison, looking a bit twisted up and funky. She appears to be practicing her walk sample for entry into the Ministry of Silly Walks. The Medicine Crüe watches her curiously as she gimps away from them while tugging at her drawers.
We follow the Crüe to the patient on rounds. It's a little boy and he's annoyingly cute and he has two dads and one dad is fine and calm and the other dad is a nervous nelly and no, I don't mean that in a derogatory sense, like, that's not meant as a gay bash or anything but really, while we're on the subject, Nervous Nelly dad is totally acting like a stereotype and Just Jack 2000 called and he wants his shtick back, okay? The little boy got hit in the head with a baseball and has been throwing up. Nervous Nelly Dad is, um, nervous, and indignant, and irritated at every baseball ever made, and Calm Dad is easy and humorous and he and the son gently make fun of the nervous dad for most of this scene. Derek asks Meredith what the possibilities are, and Mere rattles off a laundry list of potential dangers that aren't really sitting well with NND. I wasn't that fond of this storyline, as it really had nothing to do with anything else, so I think the less time spent on it the better, no?
Back with Crotchety Crotch Addison, she's barely holding it together. She enters Tucker's (Bailey's husband, remember?) room and asks how he's doing, and he's packing his bag, so it looks like he's going home. Bailey pops up, and Addison grimaces and makes a series of twitchy faces and then demands a consult. They pop off to an empty examination room somewhere and the thing we see is Bailey, lifting a sheet above Addison's knees so she can look at her va-jay-jay. Bailey's response? "Oh no." What, is there a dragon's head down there? No, it's just poison oak. That's right. Addison has poison oak all over her privates. "Like I was saying," says George in voice-over, "payback's a bitch." And sometimes it gives you an itchy va-jay-jay.
While Bailey's spending some quality time with Addison's pookie, Derek's busy checking out Tucker and giving him the okay to leave. Derek asks where Bailey is, and Tucker says she went off with Addison to give her a consult. We return to The Poisoned Pookie Show, where Bailey's administering calamine lotion to Addison's poontang. Apparently, Addison's blisters are growing very fast. You know, I'm not fond of this scene either, actually. I mean, it's funny, Kate Walsh and Chandra Wilson are awesome, as always, but…when did Addison become the comic relief? And since when did poison oak blisters show up within eight hours of contact? It's called the internet, writers. Might want to consult it sometime in the near future.
Mere and Alex are wheeling Head Trauma Boy down to his room after x-rays and Alex is trying to find out what Mere did to George. Mere's like, why's it have to be me? Why'd I have to do something wrong? Why couldn't it be George? "Because Bambi looks pissed and you look guilty," smirks Alex. Heh. Mere finally 'fesses up that she did something really, really, really bad. HTB says that he once kept an egg in his sock drawer for a month and then smashed it in his teacher's book. "My dads were really mad," he says. Mere says that what she did was worse, and I have to agree. Screwing your besotted roommate trumps rotten eggs every time.
In the OR, George, Cristina, and Burke are delivering the angiogram to Mark. "Stop pouting," says Cristina to George with an annoyed roll of her eyes. Heh. "I'm not pouting," pouts George. "Oh, please," says Cristina. "I don't even have to look at you; I can feel you pouting." It's true. The man pouts in Dolby Surround Sound. Cristina says that whatever Meredith did to him, it wasn't intentional, so just get over it already. Amen, sister. "Ahem," says Burke. "I'm not being inappropriate," says Cristina. "He's acting like she skinned his puppy." Heh. He totally is. "That's not nice, Yang," says Burke. Yes, but it's TRUE, Burke. I'll take true over nice any damn day. "Does my ass look fat in these jeans?" "Hell yes." "Am I dating a bastard?" "Damn straight." "Could I be a bigger bitch?" "I doubt it." Truth rocks. George says that if Cristina knew just what Meredith did to him, she'd understand, and Cristina says that she wouldn't understand because she doesn't care, and can they just get on with the angiogram so they can excise the mass from Mark's heart? That's when everyone realizes that whatever is around Mark's heart isn't a mass at all.
Meanwhile, Bailey's pilfering the hospital stock, looking for steroids for Addison's muff. Webber walks up and says that he sees her. Bailey says he doesn't. Webber says that she's working. Bailey says she isn't. Then she just walks off in a hurry before Webber starts asking why she's carrying calamine lotion and a packet of needles. Back with Mark and Ann, Cristina's checking Mark's vitals and asking if they've decided about his surgery yet. He says they're still talking about it and they're thinking they might wait until after the wedding. Cristina gets that look that she gets. You know the one. The "oh so you're going to be STUPID then" look. She tells Mark that with his condition, he's going to be okay until he's…not. She says that if he opts against the surgery, he may live until his wedding or he may not. He'll never know. "You'll just be okay until you die," she says. Mark's like, wow. Great bedside manner there, YANG. "Are you trying to comfort me?" "No," snaps Cristina. "I'm trying to convince you to let Dr. Burke operate." She finishes up by saying that Dr. Burke is the very best and that he's their very best chance at survival.
Room of Magical Heart Patients and the Doctors Who Love Them. Burke and Izzie are outside Denny's room, looking over charts. Izzie keeps looking at Denny, prompting Burke to ask her if she's all right. She just says that it isn't fair that Denny's not well. That they treat jerks all the time and the jerks get better; why does a nice guy like Denny have to be sick? In all fairness, Izzie, you barely KNOW the man. I mean, just because he has a nice smile and flirts with you from behind his bad heart doesn't mean he's a goddamn saint. The guy could kick babies over goalposts in his spare time, for all you know. But whatever, Izzie thinks that Denny doesn't deserve his bad heart and Burke surmises that she really likes him.
Coochie Calamity Corner. Bailey's now applying an ice pack to Addison's nooch. She asks how this whole stupid story happened. Well, the writers wanted to make Addison more sympathetic and humorous, so they sat her in a patch of poison oak and gave her an itchy cooter, if you must know. "I slept with Mark!" shouts Addison. "Ewww," says Bailey. "And he had poison oak?" "NOOOO!" Addison shouts again. "I slept with him a year ago and this is what I get." Bailey's not buying it, so Addison explains that she went out to walk the dog and she had to pee, so she squatted, because she didn't want to go inside the trailer again to face her non-communicative and glaring husband and now she WAAAAAAH. Yes, Addison starts blubbering, much to Bailey's (and my) discomfort. Bailey pleads with Addison to stop crying because if she doesn't -- oops. Too late. Bailey's lactating. Just then, there's a knock at the door and Bailey goes to answer it. It's the Chief. Bailey's all, uh, yeah? Help you with something? The Chief hears Addison crying in the background and is all, uh, I don't know what you're doing in there, but whatever it is…Bailey steps back and shows him the large milk stains on the front of her blouse. The Chief is like, OH! OH HO! Okay, then. Uh. Moving on. Elsewhere. In the hospital. Later! Bailey rolls her eyes and shuts the door.
Room of Boys with Head Trauma and the Annoying Fathers Who Love Them. Derek enters and Mere's dealing with HTB, who seems to be having some problem with a blood clot in his head. Alex says he has the cranial access kit ready and Nervous Nelly Dad is all, CRANIAL ACCESS KIT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO TOUCH HIS BRAIN BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE THAT AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEE! Derek's like, uh, get 'em outta here, please. NND is all, I'm staying, dammit! And even though I think most doctors would tell NND that staying isn't an option, Derek just…lets the dads stay while he drills a hole into their son's skull. After he finishes the procedure, HTB wakes up and is fine and NND promptly vomits on the floor. Because that's…funny? Endearing? Stupid? I really don't know what the point of this Patient Lesson is. Honestly. If any of y'all know, please clue me in.
Room of Magical Heart Patients and the Doctors Who Love Them. Denny's heart is beating too fast; they have to slow it down. Alex and Izzie attend to Denny as Burke calls out orders. He wants them to try a synchronized defribrohooziewhatsit. Denny wakes up and sees Izzie there. They make cute at each other and Alex gets his jealous on. Burke tells Denny they're going to give his heart a series of shocks in order to regulate his heart, and Denny asks if Izzie will hold his hand. Alex jerkily asks if he can hold the paddles, because he's been fucking Izzie for a week now and he'll be DAMNED if any weak-ass heart patient is going to get in the way of that. Alex delivers the shocks, and finally Denny's heart regulates. He flirts a little more with Izzie, making her blush, and making Alex climb even higher up Jealous Mountain.
Meanwhile, Derek's tracked down Bailey and he's all up in her kitchen, demanding to know where Addison is. Wait a minute here. Yesterday he didn't want to see her, didn't want to talk to her, could give two shits about her, but today? Today he needs to know where she is? Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Bailey says she's not telling him where Addison is, and Derek says she has to because he saved Tucker's life. Bailey says that Addison saved her baby's life, so bugger off. "So baby trumps husband?" asks Derek incredulously. "Mmm," says Bailey in terse agreement. "Baby trumps husband?" Derek repeats after her retreating back. Heh.
Meredith and George have a close call in a hallway, but Meredith just runs away. George retires to a lounge where he tries to get a cup of coffee out of a carafe but there's no coffee left and DAMMIT, WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAVE TO HAPPEN TO HIIIIIIM? Ann Cusack's there, staring off into space. George greets her, and she kind of blandly says something about keeping receipts for your wedding in case something happens. George says that this isn't her fault. Ann says that you have plans and ideas and dreams and none of them involve all of them ending in the blink of an eye. She leaves and George looks sad. Again. Some more.
Mere's crashed in a room somewhere. Alex enters and flings himself down to her. He asks her what she's doing and she says she's hiding. "All riiiiight," he says smirkingly. "So you slept with O'Malley. Big deal. Get over it already." Mere's stunned. "He told you?" Now Alex is stunned. "What? No. I…I was just kidding! Well, it's not like I should be surprised." "Why not?" asks Mere. "Because when your life is sucking, you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It's your thing. Whatever. I find it charming." HA HA HA HA. Oh, Alex. I think I love you just a little bit right there.
Mere says that Alex sleeps with inappropriate women when sober, and he says that it was just one inappropriate woman and Izzie's forgiven him for it. Mere says that Izzie hasn't forgiven him. Alex says she has and that they're together. Mere says that Izzie may be sleeping with him, but she'll never see him the way she saw him before he screwed Olivia. "Why're you trying to piss me off?" asks Alex. Heh. "You're trying to suggest that it's forgivable for you to sleep with Olivia but unforgivable for me to sleep with George." "You told him?!" says George, who's just entered the room. He freaks out and runs off and Mere and Alex run after him. "Dude! Chill!" calls Alex. "YOU CHILL!" says George. "I'M NOT -- I WILL NOT CHILL." No shit. Izzie runs into them and asks what's up and Alex says, "Fetus is freaking out." HA HA HA. Man, I'm loving Alex in this episode.
Cristina joins the pity parade as Mere tries to talk George down from the ledge. George snaps that Meredith didn't respect his privacy and that he wanted to keep his mouth shut, but nooooo! She just had to spill it, didn't she. They run into a stairwell and Mere wants to talk and George is like, too late for talking, lady! "You told everyone that we had sex!" he hollers as the rest of the Medicine Crüe clamber up behind Mere. "You had sex?" shouts Izzie. "You had sex with George?" shouts Cristina. "You didn't tell them?" shouts George. "No," says Mere quietly. "DAMMIT!" shouts George, running off and then…falling down a flight of stairs. Alex giggles. Heh.
Sad Sack Room of Piteous Pishers Who Need to Purchase a Set of Brass Balls at the Nearest He-Man Emporium, STAT! George is sitting on a table as the Medicine Crüe watches from the hallway. "Go away!" he pleads with them. They move off, and Meredith asks the Crüe if George is going to be okay. Alex says he just dislocated his shoulder, so he's going to be fine. "That's not exactly what I meant," she whines. Cristina kind of gives her an "Oh, you don't get to feel sorry for yourself today, Miss Thang!" look. Izzie starts to walk off, but turns to deliver some homespun judgment all over Mere's ass. "Meredith," she says, "if you can't make this right, if you can't fix things with George, just so you know, if it comes to choosing sides, I'm on his." Hey, thanks for that, Izzie! By the way, I'll remember this when you come to me crying that Alex gave you the CLAP and a scorching case of CRABS and you'll want a non-judgmental shoulder to cry on, okay?
Mere turns to Cristina, and all she has to say is, "He's the weaker kid. I mean, even I don't beat up on the weaker kid. It's cheap." Mere says that she did a terrible thing. Cristina says that George has been in love with her since day one and that there's no way she didn't know that. "We all do terrible things," says Cristina as she walks off. "Thank you," whispers Mere. "You're welcome," whispers Cristina back to her. I'm trying to figure out if I could love Cristina more, but I'm quickly concluding that there's simply no way I could fit more Cristina love into my heart right now. She just delivered the perfect blend of truthful chastisement and gentle forgiveness I've ever seen. She doesn't let Mere off the hook, but she also doesn't vilify her for what is, essentially, just a big effin' mistake. My Cristina love knows no bounds.
George's doctor arrives to attend to him and immediately recognizes him as the "heart-in-the-elevator" guy. The doctor, played by the immensely talented Sara Ramirez, starts to give George the eye as she checks him over. It's fairly obvious that she wants to take him right there in the examination room. But George is too busy indulging in his own little pity party -- complete with conniption cupcakes and a crying clown car -- to notice. She asks him what drugs he wants to kill the pain; he opts out of the drugs because he's still on duty. She asks him if he got into a fight and he tells her that he fell down some stairs. "Where, at your girlfriend's?" she asks. Nice fishing, Doc. That wasn't transparent at all, no sirree. She pops the shoulder back in and gives him a sling. She wants him baaaaad.
Elevator of Potential McDreamy/Mere Trysts. Mere's waiting for the doors to close when McDreamy walks up and gets on the elevator with her. She tells him not to be nice to her. I think he's doing a damn fine job of not being nice to you already, Mere, in case you hadn't noticed. Mere says that she did a terrible thing and she's pretty sure she's going to lose all her friends. "You won't lose me," says McDreamy. "You're not my friend," she says. So true. McDreamy thinks he is. Mere thinks he isn't. McDreamy thinks he could be a good friend. Mere thinks they can't be friends. He thinks they can. OH MY GOD JUST DO IT ALREADY. Mere asks how they could possibly be friends and Derek suggests that they could hang out. He walks Doc every other morning up on Tiger Mountain Trail. They could meet there and have coffee and watch Doc play and discuss the complex nature of their existence. "Right," says Meredith, not buying a word of it. "I could be your friend," says Derek. "No," she says firmly as she exits. "We can't be friends."
Room of Magical Heart Patients and the Doctors Who Love Them. Izzie's attending to Denny and she tells him that he's holding stable. He likes the way she says "fibrillation." She sexily says "fibrillation" to him. "Tease!" he rasps. Hee. He asks her if she believes in karma and she says she does. "I think you might be mine," he says. Aw. They continue flirting as Alex watches jealously from the hall. God. Get over it already, Alex. Izzie's fucking you, not pledging her troth.
Derek and the Chief meet up outside the room where Bailey has apparently taken up residence in Addison's punanny. The Chief tries to keep Derek out of the room, but he says that Bailey paged him. She walks up and says she did, indeed, page Derek and she invites him into the room and slams the door in the Chief's face. Heh. Inside the room, Bailey tells Derek to stand there to the drawn curtain and listen while Addison talks. Don't move, don't speak, just listen. "Do you understand?" "I'm not mentally challenged," he twits. "I'm not so sure about that," she says. Heh. Bailey leaves, and Derek starts to go around the curtain to talk to Addison but she makes him promise to stay where he is. She says she's going to show him something and, when she does, he does not get to laugh or gloat. "Why would I gloat?" he asks. "I have poison oak," she says.
He draws the curtain and sees his wife in the stirrups. She lifts the sheet and he kind of cocks his head at her cooter. "You do indeed have poison oak," he says with a self-satisfied grin on his face. She asks if they're even yet and if she's paid her debt to society yet and, instead of laughing in her face and saying, "Getting blisters on your honey pot doesn't even BEGIN to clear your slate with me, sister!" he just laughs and she throws a pillow at him and apparently their marriage is saved thanks to a little poisonous plant with three leaves.
George and Cristina are walking down a hallway as George says that he can't believe that Meredith didn't tell Cristina all about the Night of Bad Sex. Cristina's like, yeah? And? This is a bad thing? George somehow turns even Mere's non-discussion of their encounter into yet ANOTHER reason to dive into the sobcakes at his pity party. Cristina speaks from the depths of my soul when she stops him and says, "George? The pity thing? Not good. If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, you need to stop accepting crap and demand something more." HALLELUJAH.
They run into Ann outside Mark's door. She tells them to tell Burke that Mark's going to have the surgery, but she's leaving because she's not strong enough to handle all this. George says that her fiancé is going into surgery and she's going to want to be there when he wakes up. Ann says that Mark isn't her fiancé anymore. George and Cristina are both disgusted and surprised. Before they can kick her in the teeth, however, Olivia runs out of the room and tells them that Mark is crashing. Ann runs off.
Burke operates on Mark as George watches from above. Olivia enters and watches for a minute. George tells her that Mark's fiancé left him. "Sounds like he dodged a bullet," she says. George doesn't think Mark will see it that way. Olivia looks at him. "If she can't love him back the way he loves her…then she doesn't deserve him." George understands that Olivia's heard about him and Meredith. Olivia says she's sorry, and George says that he's sorry if he made her feel anything like what he's feeling right now. Olivia says that that's nice to hear.
House of Shame. George apparently stopped at the He-Man Emporium on the way home, because he's packing his suitcase and moving the hell out. Before he leaves, though, he revisits the Place Where It All Happened. Namely, Mere's room. We get a flashback to the Night of Bad Sex and oh holy Lord is it bad. Mere's lying on her back and George appears to be coming up for air from a long time spent…down below. "How was that?" he asks. Oh, don't ask that, George. If you have to ask, honey, IT WASN'T GOOD. Just…don't ask. Wait 'til we tell you what to do. Trust me on this. Mere says that whatever the hell he just did down there was just fine and he's all puppy-ish and kissing her neck and he says he could do it again and that he likes doing it and that he could do it until OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP. If I wanted to experience awkward sex scenes, I'd call up my ex-boyfriend Ruprecht and tell him to bring a case of Guinness and a smile over to my place. Good god.
Mere gives this laugh that's a cross between hysterical crying and embarrassed giggles. George kind of collapses on top of her, all, Meredith! Oh, Meredith! How I doth pine for thee! And Meredith suddenly realizes what she's done and to whom and she starts to cry. He pulls back and she's crying more and he asks what's wrong and she says it's nothing and to just ignore her and he's like, dude, YOU'RE CRYING, I can't ignore you, and her crying gets even worse and she says it's okay, she's fine and he's almost done, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS. "You're almost done, right?" My whole sexual life I've never said anything along the lines of, "Are you almost done?" to a guy. I've thought it. Boy howdy, have I thought it. But I've never SAID it. George doesn't quite understand and he says that he's not finished, not yet, and Meredith breaks down more and says, "George…please." I took that to mean more of a "Please, George, understand what I'm going through here," and not a "Please, George, fuck off already." But I'm optimistic that way.
George tries to talk to her, saying her name a couple of times, but Meredith is inconsolable. Suddenly, his bruised ego can't take anymore, so he climbs off of her, saying, "Sleeping with me is really this awful for you?" Ouch. Meredith tries to explain to him that it's not him, but he's already run out. And I get it from both sides, you know? I do. I get that she's upset and that he should try to console her, but I also get that the woman he thinks he loves just dissed him in the sack WHILE HE WAS NAKED and that if that happened to me? I'd walk out too. I wouldn't whine about it as much as George does, but I'd walk out on a sobbing person who asked me if I was DONE yet. I mean, really.
George enters Meredith's room in the present and picks up his shirt. The shirt that Mere removed the night before. Aw. When he turns to leave, Mere's in the doorway. "There's a suitcase in the hall," she says. George just says he was getting his shirt and that he doesn't live there anymore. He goes to leave, but he stops in the doorway. "Why?" he asks. "I just want to know why you -- if you didn't want to…" "I didn't know I didn't want to," says Meredith. "You were there, and you were saying all these perfect things, and I was sad. And so I thought, maybe. Maybe I've just been overlooking what's been in front of me. And if I just give it a chance, because you're George and you're so great…I didn't know I didn't want to, until I knew I didn't want to." George is like, yeaaaaah. Great. Thanks for that. Buh-bye now. Mere wants to go back to the way things were, but George says they can't because he doesn't want to go back. "I'm done," he says. "We're done." THANK GOD.
George's voice-over says that karma will force us to face ourselves. Izzie is putting on lipstick in the locker room. Alex walks up behind her and asks if she's ready and Izzie's all, the huh? Alex says that he thought they had plans, but Izzie conveniently forgot them and asks for a rain check. Alex acts like this doesn't bother him at all and walks off. Burke goes to check on Mark and his heart, and Mark calls out for Amy. Burke says she's not here, but Mark is, and that's what counts. "She left?" says Mark. "She really left? Who does that? What kind of a person does that?" Sniff. George's voice-over says that, one way or another, our karma will always find us. Izzie shows up in Denny's room with a bag of goodies. She sets up a little picnic with wine glasses and juice, and Denny says that this isn't quite how he envisioned their perfect first date. "Are you kidding?" quips Izzie. "Do you know how hard I've had to work to get a cute guy in bed before?" Aw.
Lord. George is sitting outside the damn hospital with his suitcase. So…he packed his shit and just…left the House of Shame without calling anyone or possibly, I don't know, paging through the damn yellow pages for the name of a cheap motel? What a sad, sorry motherfucker. Really. Doctor Sara comes wandering up and asks if he's going on a trip. He says he sort of is. She pulls out a pen and writes her name on his hand and tells him to give her a call when he gets back in town. Hee. Burke walks out just then and sees George perched on the wall. They look at each other.
The thing we see is Burke and Cristina in bed together and Cristina looks like she's taking a pumice stone to her flaky calves, but she's probably just putting lotion on them. "He's your friend," says Burke. "He needed our help." "Are his problems surgical?" snaps Cristina. "No," says Burke. "Then, technically, he doesn't need our help." Heh. Burke drops his book on the nightstand and rolls back over to her. "You're a good person," he says to her. "I am not," she snaps as she turns off the light. Hee. "Good night," says Burke, curling up to her. "Ah haaaa," groans Cristina good-naturedly. "Good night." "Good night!" calls George from the sofa in the living room. Heh. George's voice-over says some more stuff about karma and how it evens the score.
Speaking of scoring, we see Doc, careening around a park corner, with McDreamy on his tail. Doc runs right over to Mere, who's standing there, waiting for McDreamy. He walks over to her as George's voice-over says, "And even when we do something that might tempt karma to bite us in the ass, well, it goes without saying…we do it anyway." "So," says Mere. "Just friends." "Just friends," says McDreamy. They look at each other. Ten bucks says they do it by Episode 22. Any takers?
on Grey's Anatomy: George and Burke bond, much to Cristina's chagrin. Cristina baby-sits Baby Bailey. Hilarity ensues. And Alex chastises Izzie for wanting to do naughty things to Denny the Magical Heart Patient.