This one's all about putting things off until tomorrow that we should deal with today. Like Meredith defining her relationship with McDreamy, George asking Meredith out, and a woman with a big-ass tumor not leaving her house for a year while her "little friend" just grows bigger and bigger. Cristina and Burke are still having sex, but Burke wants to know where the relationship is going. Cristina thinks Burke is a girl. Izzie and Alex have to man the floor while every doctor within a hundred mile radius is MIA. Alex fails at doing his job and Izzie has to pick up the slack, which ends up meaning that she has to bring a heart patient back to life by massaging his heart with her hands. George never really manages to ask Meredith out, mostly because all he can do in her presence is stammer and talk about alcohol and neither one of those things is very conducive to an effective date request. Meredith never really manages to define her relationship with McDreamy, mostly because she keeps avoiding him and then, at the eleventh hour, she tosses some wine at him, along with a promise to watch ferryboats while the sun rises. And the poor tumor woman has left the tumor alone so long that it's actually taken over her body and, in the end, it takes over her life. In the form of death.
So much for dealing with things today, huh?
Previously on Bad Docs, Bad Docs, Whatchya Gonna Do?: Meredith poked a hole in some patient's heart, and that was a really bad thing to do. She also got wicked drunk and made out with McDreamy in his car, and Bailey totally caught them, which was bad, but awesomely so. And Izzie's boyfriend Hank bailed on her because she's too busy tending to the sick and wounded to lick his balls or something, so he's really bad, but what's good is that now this leaves Izzie wide open to fall in love with magical heart patients and meddle in other people's affairs.
As a big orange sun rises in the sky, Mere's voiceover says something about Benjamin Franklin sharing the secret to his success with the world. "'Never leave that til tomorrow, which you can do today'," she quotes. We then see Mere lying in bed and hitting the snooze button on her alarm clock. She grouses that Big Ben discovered electricity; you'd think we'd pay attention to what he says. Methinks Meredith's going to do some serious avoiding in this episode, don't you? Mere doesn't know why we put things off, but if she had to guess, she'd say it has a lot to do with fear.
Speaking of fear, Curious George is outside her door with two cups of coffee. He tries to balance the cups in one hand and open the door with the other, but because he's George, he fails at this miserably and drops hot coffee all over his crotch. Because putting the cups on the floor and knocking first never occurred to him. Izzie passes by, as if on cue, and snarks, "Wouldn't it be easier if you just asked her out?" Yes. Yes, Izzie, it would. But then we wouldn't get the benefit of watching Meredith sob while George tried to have sex with her, now would we?
Later that morning, George and Izzie are getting ready to leave and he's all, Mere's gonna be late! And Izzie's all, don't care! And George is all, BUT I WANT HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND! And Izzie's all, THEN GROW A PAIR. She tells him to ask Meredith out already because life is short and he could die before he went out on a date with Mere and that would be bad because everyone should have a chance to pork Meredith before they die. What? It's not like she's a vestal virgin or anything. George whines that he doesn't want to ask Meredith out and Izzie throws him a, "Do you really want to die a liiiiiar?" George sputters and spews that he's not lying... er, not dying... er, not LYING and shut UP already! They finally leave without Meredith.
Approaching the official "late" hour, Meredith pulls into her parking space, only to be greeted by McDreamy, who's pulled in right to her. "Crap!" shouts Meredith. "Crap!" returns McDreamy. Is this some sort of secret doctor greeting I'm not aware of? I wonder what would happen if tomorrow I walked into my office and greeted everyone with "Fuckmonkey!" instead of "Hello." Hm. I'll try it and report my results at a later date. Meredith scrambles toward the hospital, claiming that she's late and McDreamy shouts at her that she's avoiding him. She doesn't deny it, but also -- late! He wants to talk about the car make out session and Bailey's unfortunate witnessing of it. Meredith doesn't want to talk about it because she's in too much trouble as it is and Derek's not helping matters. He says this is getting complicated and she agrees. "If I were a better man, I'd walk away," he says with a smile. Yes, Derek. Yes, you would. But then we wouldn't get the added benefit of you making love to your wife while picturing Meredith, now would we? Meredith agrees about the better man stuff and Derek asks her if she wants him to be a better man. "Yes. No. Crap. I'm late." She runs away and Derek smirks at the elevator, another intern notch in his belt.
"That was definitely worth being late," says Cristina from a supply closet somewhere as she pulls her pants up over her black undies. Burke sighs and says, "Thanks." Heh. He goes all girly on her ass and asks if they should talk about this thing that they're doing and... what are they doing, anyway? What's with all the guys on this show wanting to talk all the damn time? I've dated (far too) many guys and never ONCE was any one of them like, "Where is this relationship going? Are we just sleeping together? What do I CALL you? Are you my girlfriend?" The guys on this show are all a bunch of chicks. Cristina agrees with me because she just sighs heavily at Burke, grabs her bag and goes, "Yeah, definitely." And then walks out. Heh.
Medicine Crüe Locker Room. Cristina stumbles in and she and Meredith accuse each other of being late. Meredith worries that Bailey told everyone about her and McDreamy, but Cristina thinks she'd keep tight-lipped on that, seeing as McDreamy's her boss too. Mere asks if she can be kicked out and Cristina tells her that, no, she can't officially be kicked out; she can be banned from surgeries, made to do enemas every morning before breakfast, and carry the liposuction fat bags to the incinerator every night, but, no, she can't be kicked out. Meredith declares that she has to end the affair. Cristina tells Meredith to shut up. Heh. Amen, sister.
They make their way to Bailey as Cristina tells Mere, "You've got a hot doctor who likes to make you open up and say 'ahhh'. It's the American dream, stop whining about it." Ha! My love for Cristina fills a deep, cavernous well. Mere says that no good can come from sleeping with your boss. Before Cristina can retort, "Depends on the boss! Whocka whocka!" Bailey careens around the corner and tells her that she's late. "So is Meredith!" flails Cristina. Mere's voiceover tells us that, by the time the pain of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like you're carrying around a giant tumor. Seeing as we're closing in on a hospital room, I'd say that the aforementioned giant tumor is about to rear its ugly head.
Bailey instructs her interns that they are to maintain decorum upon entering the room. Alex rubs his hands together maniacally. The door opens and there in the bed is a woman with a tumor that is approximately the size of a VW bus. "And you thought I was speaking metaphorically," says Mere's voiceover. This woman's case is totally based on Lucica Bunghez's by the way. If you have a weak stomach, don't click that link because...damn. Thing weighed 176 pounds when it was removed. Twice as much as the woman! Gah. Oh, and for good measure, GAAAAH.
Ah, kicky double-entendre credits! How I've missed thee.
Tumor Lady is Annie Connors, a sweet-natured woman with a bit of a crush on Karev. Burke enters and Alex whispers to Annie that this is Dr. Burke and he's an awesome surgeon. He then gives the rundown to Burke and the group. Annie presented the evening with shortness of breath and it was discovered that she had a gargantuan tumor pressing against her diaphragm. All other vitals are strong. George looks like he's going to throw up. Or make another pass at Meredith. I can't really tell. Both expressions are remarkably similar. Burke asks Annie if she's claustrophobic, because the CT scan can get too close for comfort for some people, and Annie just gamely responds that she's been housebound for over a year, so how claustrophobic could she be? Burke says that Izzie's going to take Annie for the scan. Annie asks if someone could tell her mother where she went so she doesn't worry and would it be okay if Alex took her instead? "He's just so fun to look at!" she giggles. Aw. Alex winks at her and chides her good-naturedly. What the hell is he up to? He's not nice to normal people on a regular basis, what's causing the sudden good ship lollipop routine with Annie Get Your Tumor over here?
Outside the room, Izzie, Cristina, George, and Mere discuss the tumor and Alex's fake niceness. Cristina says that this one's going in the record books and that she has to get in on it. She also says that Alex was in admitting when Annie came in the night, so that's why he got to her first. "I am never leaving this place again!" she says, just as she runs into Burke. They avoid each other expertly. Bailey catches up with her kids and tells them that Annie's surgery will take every available surgeon off the floor, so they'll have to try extra hard not to kill anyone. Burke passes by again and Cristina grabs him and tells him she wants in on the surgery. "I thought we weren't talking," he says like the little girl that he is. "I'm not talking," she says, "I'm just saying." Hee. Burke turns and tells her to get a family history and do some research and he'll...tell Bailey that his fuck-buddy wants in on the surgery. Excellent. Cristina simpers off.
The rest of the Medicine Crüe visits the patient on their rounds, a man who endured a coronary bypass the day and had some difficulty in the night but seems to be doing okay at the moment. Izzie delivers the spiel this time and Bailey declares that the patient is doing fine and everyone leaves. Yeah, that's not gonna end badly or anything. The Crüe continues on their rounds as George yammers at Izzie about how she thinks he likes Meredith but he so doesn't like Meredith and he likes Meredith but he just doesn't have a thing for her and he would hate it if Izzie said anything to Meredith because that'd be awkward-- "George?" says Izzie. "Stop talking." Amen and hallelujah, sister.
The patient is a Mr. Levangie, who seems to be suffering from severe Parkinson's. McDreamy's in the room, and he introduces Bailey and the interns, and there's this awesome awkward moment where Derek looks at Meredith and they both look away and then Derek sees Bailey looking at him with her hands on her hips all, "Oh don't you even THINK of looking at my intern, bitch!" George is presenting this time and he says that Levangie was admitted with Dyskinesia, but he's responding well to the bolus injections. Bailey asks what the recommended treatment would be and Izzie starts to answer for Parkinson's, but Derek interjects and says, "No, not Parkinson's -- spinal pain." Izzie's flummoxed. Meredith pipes up that an intraspinal catheter should do the trick and Derek's proud of his hot little intern. He tells Levangie that Meredith's going to prep him for the procedure and assist, and both Bailey and Izzie shoot looks of evil at McDreamy. His pager goes off, but not before everyone in the room gets a whiff of supreme bullshit. He leaves and Bailey goes after him.
Minutes later, Derek's on an elevator that quickly empties of everyone but himself...and Bailey. The doors close and she glares at him. "Miranda," he says by way of greeting. "ExCUSE me?" she snaps. Derek's all, um, that's your name, right? I mean, it's on your jacket. She continues to glare at him until he finally says that he'll just call her Bailey. She's had enough. "You think you're charming in that talented, neurotic, overly-moussed-hair sort of way. Good for you. But if you think I'm going to stand back and watch while you favor her... " "I don't favor her," he says lamely. "She's good." "I'm sure she is," sneers Bailey, clearly not meaning Meredith's medical skills. Bailey goes to leave the elevator and Derek meekly points out that, technically, he's her boss. "You don't scare me," she says. "Look. I'm not gonna advertise your extracurricular activities with my intern. However, the time I see you favoring Meredith Grey in any way, I'll make sure she doesn't see the inside of an OR for a month." Ouch. Snap. The elevator shuts on Derek's over-inflated sense of self-worth. Heh.
Down in the CT scan room, Annie's ready to go through the tube. Alex is gently telling her about the microphone inside the tube and how she can yell for help if she needs it but that it'd be best if she just remains still because if she doesn't, they'll have to do this all over again and that would suck. Keep that part about the microphone in mind; it'll be important here in a minute. Annie bravely says she'll be fine and Alex heads off to the observation room as Annie slowly slides into the CT scan tube.
Alex enters the observation room and asks the tech if he has any batteries for his beeper, but the tech is too awed by the size of Annie's tumor to really respond. He says he's never seen anything like it. Alex responds that he doesn't understand how a person lets it get that bad. "I mean, man, that is a whole lot of nasty!" Alex apparently smokes a lot of weed because his short term memory is so bad that he doesn't remember telling Annie TWO SECONDS AGO that there's a damn microphone in the tube! The tech sweetly suggests that Annie might be afraid of doctors and expresses sympathy for her. But Alex isn't going the sympathy route. "'Poor thing'? Please. If you're afraid of doctors, you take a pill. She's just sick, like, warped, you know? Seriously, I don't know how she lives with herself." As Alex says all of these horrible things that, admittedly, we might very well be thinking ourselves, we get glimpses of Annie's face as she hears them. Sad.
Meanwhile, Cristina's getting some family history from Mama Annie. Mama says that at first they just thought Annie was gaining weight but once they figured out what was going on, she tried to get her daughter to go to the doctor but she was too scared. The bigger it got, the less she wanted to go. Cristina has a look of stunned disgust on her face. Mama says that Annie never felt sick until last night, when she couldn't breathe. "Because the tumor was crushing her lungs," Cristina snaps. Mama says that calling 911 seemed like the right thing to do. Cristina writes something on her clipboard, but her truth-telling soul gets the better of her and she says to Mama, "You know, the right thing to do would have been to call a year ago." Mama just looks at her sadly. I feel badly for her, but...tumor. TUMOR THE SIZE OF A BUICK. Like, I get a mole that raises up more than a centimeter and I'm at the dermatologist's office all, "TAKE IT OFF FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I DON'T WANT TO DIE." I don't get the fear of doctors thing at all. Does going to the doctor sometimes suck? Sure. So does going to the dentist. But you still gotta go. I once had a crappy dentist convinced that he could perform a root canal on my tooth. He stuck the Novocain needle DIRECTLY INTO MY NERVE. And when I had the audacity to scream in pain, he SMACKED ME ON THE ARM and told me to SHUSH. But am I afraid of dentists? Hell, no. I'm a little afraid of THAT dentist, though. Which is why I had him killed.
Mr. Levangie's still shaking quite a bit, so Meredith tells him they're going to make him more comfortable, and that she'll be back in a second. Levangie's played by Bruce Weitz of Hill Street Blues fame, by the way. He's awesome at curmudgeonly guys with hearts of gold. Meredith leaves and Levangie's daughter runs after her. She asks if Meredith would talk to her father about having brain surgery. It could relieve most of his symptoms as well as the pain. His quality of life is...well, there isn't any. And it keeps getting worse. She's getting married month and she wants him to walk her down the aisle. She realizes this is selfish, but she doesn't care. She wants him there. "You don't know what it's like having a parent...watching him..." says the daughter." I do," says Mere. "I do know what it's like." Mere says that she'll see what she can do and walks off before she starts to cry in front of the girl.
Elsewhere in the hospital, Burke, Derek, and Bailey are looking over Annie's films. Burke says that her right hemidiaphraghm is so high that it's completely displacing her lung tissue. Derek says that it's infiltrated her spinal canal in three places and that they should start there. Burke prefers to start on the front and then flip her. Derek prefers to start on the spine because if he misses a step, she'll be paralyzed. Burke says if he doesn't relieve the pressure on her lungs, she'll be dead. Derek drops trou and swings his dick around the room. Burke does the same. They both grab rulers so that they can truly, once and for all, name the King Dick around here. Bailey interrupts the dick slinging to say that it appears to her as if Annie doesn't really want to live. She's been living under this thing, housebound, for all these years and she didn't do anything about it; she doesn't seem stupid -- so what's her deal? "Why would anyone wait this long unless they wanted to die?" she asks. She then wonders what Annie's chances are of surviving the surgery and Burke says only slightly better than if they did nothing. "So is it worth it?" Bailey asks. Both men kind of balk at this and Bailey just says that she's only saying what they're thinking. Burke says Annie's not even fifty years old; it's worth a try. He leaves and Derek just goes, "Ha!" and follows after him. Apparently, he doesn't really think it's worth a try.
Derek walks out and Mere's waiting for him. She asks if Mr. Levangie's a candidate for DBS as Bailey watches their interaction from a distance. Derek tersely says that he's a candidate, but he's refused the surgery. Mere thinks it's worth it to talk to him again and push him to have the surgery. Derek, mindful of Bailey's hawkeye, lays into Meredith, saying that brain surgery that's performed on a wide awake patient has all sorts of risks and it's no one's place to push anyone into it. Mere's like, ohhhhkay, what's with the rudeness, homeslice? Derek ignores her stunned look of surprise and declares that, since she's uncomfortable with his decision, it's best that she not scrub in. She's all, but, um, dude? And he totally cuts her off, saying it's a minor procedure and she won't be missed. Mere walks away confused as all get out. Derek looks over at Bailey. "You know, they call you the Nazi." "So I've heard," she retorts. Heh.
Annie Get Your Tumor's Room. Burke is informing Annie that the surgery is long and difficult and Annie just cuts him off. "Am I gonna die?" Burke moderately answers that there's always that risk, but if they don't do the surgery, she'll definitely die. Mama Annie is puttering around the room and tidying up and Annie's finally over it. "Mom! The room's clean!" Mama Annie stops and says that her daughter will have the surgery. Well, thanks, MOM, but Annie's old enough to vote, drive, and have her own children; I think we can leave it to her on the surgical procedures, huh? But Mama Annie wants her daughter to have the surgery, dammit! "I guess I'll have the surgery," says Annie. "On one condition. I don't want him there." She points at Alex. Ha! Nice! Alex apologizes and asks if he's upset her in some way, and she just looks at the ceiling and says that if Alex is in the room, she's not having the surgery. "That's how I live with myself," she says pointedly. Oh, snap! Burke assures her that Alex won't be there. The doctors leave and Annie takes her mother's hand.
Outside the room, Burke asks Alex what the hell he did to the poor woman. Alex doesn't know. Suddenly he realizes that the mike must've been on when Annie was in the tube and Burke stops him. "If anything goes wrong, ANYTHING, you are sixty percent more likely to be sued if you've offended the patient." Yeah. If you call a patient a fat, sad recluse, chances are she's going to sue your ass if you split her spine or something during surgery. That's a fairly safe bet. Alex just gabbers that he didn't know Annie could hear him, but Burke doesn't give a damn. "You're banned from the OR. Mine or anyone else's. All week." Score! Just then, Cristina walks up and tells Burke the tumor's been growing for a year and a half. "A year and a half and it's the first time she's even had it looked at. It's like she's fatally lazy." Oh, Cristina. That was SO the wrong thing to say right now. Burke just sighs heavily and walks off. "Why doesn't SHE get banned?" snits Alex. Burke passes George and grabs his arm. "Go prep Annie Connors for surgery," he says. "You're scrubbing in with Cristina." George thanks him and scrambles off to prep Annie.
While he's taking Annie's blood, George blabbles at her about how great Burke is and how awesome Bailey is. "That's okay, kitten," snaps Annie. "You can just do your job. You don't have to talk to the fat, nasty tumor lady. I mean, I let it get this bad, how much sympathy do I deserve?" And here's where George's bedside manor skills come into play. "Why did you let it get this bad?" he asks. Annie's surprised. He's the first person since she got to the hospital to ask her that. "Well, I guess it's just like the elephant in the room," he says. Nice, George. Here's a tip: when you have an overweight woman on your gurney, try not mentioning elephants, okay? Annie's cool with it though. "Elephant?" she asks. "More like a giant sow, don't ya think?" Aw, Annie. Brave little tumor lady.
She tells him that every time someone she loved went to the hospital, they died. All four of her grandparents, her dad, her best friend's mom, her baby sister. "They all went in, never came out." So she put it off. George nods at her with understanding and then says that he puts stuff off too. She asks what he puts off and he of course talks about his thing for Meredith and how he can't tell her and blah blah blah ASK HER OUT ALREADY GEORGE. "Seriously?" says Annie. "You're equating your pathetic love life with my record-breaking tumor? Seriously." Hee. George looks chagrined. As well he should be.
During a lunch of a big fat plate of nothing and a glass of air, Meredith tells Cristina that Derek blatantly favors her in front of Bailey and then just as blatantly dismisses her. Cristina says that Mere has a brain and she got into the program, so let's assume, just for shits and giggles, that Mere's not being favored, she's actually good. Mere thinks Derek's making her look bad and that she should end it. Cristina thinks she should put her money where her mouth is or shut the fuck up. Alex walks up and asks if Cristina's scrubbing in on the tumor. Well, considering you were STANDING there when Burke SAID she was scrubbing in, I'd say that, yes, Alex, SHE'S SCRUBBING IN. Stupid-ass.
Cristina tells him he can't sit to her, and Alex says that he thinks Burke is trying to get into her scrubs. "Trying"? He gripes about getting kicked off the surgery and Cristina asks the table if she would get into trouble if she stuck a fork into Alex's thigh? "Not if you make it look like an accident," says Mere ruefully. George shows up and sits to Meredith. "Thank god, man," says Alex. "I'm drowning in estrogen here." Oh, please, Alex. The chances are greater that you're drowning in testosterone because these girls have bigger balls than any of the men at this damn hospital. Now if Burke and McDreamy were sitting here and George walked up, THEN you'd be swimming in a pool full of estrogen.
George asks Mere if she's okay and she just says, "Shepherd's a jackass." Heh. Cristina explains about the reaming out in front of Bailey. What's George's genius response? "Well...bad days are...bad. Maybe tonight, uh, if, you know, if you drink alcohol, I mean, we could, all of us, I mean, go out and drink alcohol...because of the bad day." God, he's pathetic. Cute, but pathetic. And everyone in the WORLD knows Mere loves alcohol the most, especially George, seeing as she took the tequila bottle directly FROM him at the party they just had at the damn house. Mere's beeper goes off and she leaves. There's this pause as the whole table bears witness to the mess that is George. "Dude," says Alex. And that really says it all, doesn't it? "Shut up," says George. Hee.
Shakes Levangie's Room. What? That's not mean. He's shaking and his name is Levangie. Shut up. Derek walks in and asks if Levangie's back feels okay. He says it does. Derek goes to check something on him and Mere walks in, asking if Derek paged her. He doesn't respond, instead, he asks Mr. Levangie if he's given any more thought about the other surgical options they've discussed. Levangie's pissed off that Derek's even asking about it again because he already said no. "You're already cutting into my back! All you guys ever want to do is cut!" Mere realizes what Derek's done and she just stands there, pursing her lips. Levangie's daughter tries to convince her father to listen, but he's not interested. Derek says that once the Parkinson's advances to the point of dementia he's no longer a candidate for DBS. "And when I'm no longer a candidate," says Levangie, his body convulsing with every word, "is that when you people will leave me the hell alone?" Derek takes this in stride and leaves the room, telling him to get some rest.
The daughter's not letting the subject die, though. She wants her father to have the surgery. "It's my damn life and it's my damn brain!" he shouts. "You want me to let them cut up my brain while I'm lying there awake and for what? I'll be at your wedding. I will sit in the back. Your uncle will walk you down the aisle. I know it's not perfect, but that's life. Life is messy sometimes." She shoots him a look like, no shit, dude. "I know that!" she says, leaving the room. Meredith remains and looks at Levangie. "If she knows," he says, "then what in the hell are we still talking for? Why in the hell can't she drop it?" Mere looks at him. "It is your life. But it's her life too. And you have a chance to get better here. And all she's asking you to do is try." She leaves and he seems to consider what she's said as his poor body trembles and shakes.
Annie Get Your Tumor's OR. George and Cristina are scrubbing up for surgery. Bailey enters and asks if they've been working out. "Why?" asks Cristina. "See that large pile of tumor?" says Bailey. "You're going to be retracting it for the fourteen hours, so I'm just saying, I hope you have strong backs." Ouch. Mere busts in and informs Derek that Mr. Levangie has agreed to the DBS. But only if they do it today. If he leaves, he won't come back. Derek looks at Burke. "Don't worry, Dr. Shepherd," he says. "It'll take hours before we get around to the spine." Heh. Derek leaves, with Burke promising to page him. Mere is about to go when she seems to think about staying to say something to Bailey. Don't do it, Mere! Too late.
"Dr. Bailey, I didn't know...that he was my boss when I met him. I didn't know." "I don't care," says Bailey. "Really?" says Mere. "Oh. Well. You sort of seemed to not be talking to me, so I..." "You see this, what's happening right here?" says Bailey. "See, this is the problem with you sleeping with my boss. Not whether or not you knew him before, but how it affects my day. And standing here talking to you about your sex life affects my day. And the longer this little fling goes on, the more favors you get over the others who are fighting tooth and nail just to make it through this program without any assistance. When those people start finding out what's going on and they don't want to work with you or talk to you or look at you and they start bitching and moaning at me, the more it affects my day. So, no, Dr. Grey. I don't care what you knew or when you knew it. Are we understood?" "Yes," gulps Mere. "Good," says Bailey. And the conversation doth endeth.
Alex and Izzie have the run of the floor because everyone else is scrubbed in somewhere. "Wanna do it in the stairwell?" asks Alex. Izzie ignores him. "I'm just sayin', you never know what could happen!" Just then, a child vomits all over him. Heh. Alex goes to change. "You are so my favorite person today," says Izzie to the child. Heh. Meanwhile, Annie's surgery seems to be going well. Burke's explaining what he's doing as he goes along and Cristina and George are holding back the massive tumor so he can do his job.
Back with Izzie, she's paying a visit to the wife of the bypass patient from earlier. She puts the patient's x-rays up on the lightbox and says that they were able to remove the fluids from her husband's chest. The woman looks at Izzie with a blank, desperate expression. Izzie realizes she just did some doctor-speak all over the poor woman and tries to gently explain that he should be going home in no time. The wife then blurts that her husband was making waffles and then boom! He was on the ground. Izzie tries to listen, but a nurse passes by and says they need a line in another room. Izzie tells him to page Karev, but he's not responding. Izzie apologizes to the wife, saying she'll be back later. At the same moment, Alex is taking off his clothes in the locker room as another intern sneaks glances at him. "Like what you see, right?" he snakes at her. She skitters off. Heh. He puts his pager in the locker while he changes and we see that his battery is dead.
It's time to check in with Levangie and his DBS. Brain surgery in and of itself is freaky, but DBS is downright otherworldly. Talking to a patient while you're actually inside their brain? Fucked up, man. Fucked up. Levangie's doing just fine, though, and he even asks after "blondie." Mere turns around and says that she's right here, can't he see her? "I'm shaky," he quips, "I'm not blind." One of the doctors explains that they just have to, gulp, drill a hole and find the spot that controls the motor function. Gah. Levangie states that Mere can't see his brain from there; isn't she supposed to be learning something? "I'm good, right here," she says, taking his shaking hands. Derek tells him to relax and concentrate on the pretty girl. And then his drill starts whirring and I pass out.
Izzie's running ragged on the floor because apparently she's the only doctor in existence in the whole Seattle area and every patient needs attending to RIGHT NOW. Also? Alex's pager still isn't working and now he's just hanging out in the tumor OR, watching the progress jealously. Check your fucking pager, Alex. Do. Your. Job. You're not on vacation here, boy-o. Down in the OR, Burke and Bailey are discussing the thickness of an artery. It's feeding on all of Annie's blood. A nurse says that they need more O-negative. It doesn't look good for Annie. Especially when George almost drops the tumor because he has an itch. Nice, George.
Back with Levangie, a nurse is trying to get him to mimic her hand motions, one hand touching the other. He can't do it, and he's getting really frustrated. Mere tries to encourage him as the nurse asks him to make the hand motion again. The probe is almost in. His hands continue to shake until...slowly, they stop. And then he makes the hand motion over and over again with no problem. "Well, how 'bout that!" says the nurse. "I'll be a son of a bitch!" says Levangie. "Tissues! I need tissues!" says Erin. Derek and Meredith share a moment over Levangie's steady hands.
Later on, as they cart Mr. Levangie back to his room, they discuss their Bailey dilemma and how Derek can't show favoritism to Meredith in any way. "You can't ask me to scrub in when I haven't earned it," she says. "And you can't treat me like crap when I haven't earned that." Derek agrees. "I got myself into this mess," she says. "And you'll...get yourself out?" he asks. "I don't...know that yet," she says. Oh for the love of -- SOMEONE MAKE A DAMN DECISION. It's only the sixth episode of the first season and I'm already dreading Season Two: The Season of Indecisiveness. Here's hoping that Season Three will be The Season of Balls-Out Decision-Making. Derek tells her she did good work today and she tells him she's sorry she called him a jackass. "You didn't," he says. "I did," she says. "Twice." He walks off. "Tell ya what, blondie," says Levangie, "if you don't marry him, I will." Heh.
Izzie's still running ragged on the floor when she gets beeped and runs off to find the bypass patient being given CPR by nurses. The patient is crashing and the resident is unreachable. The wife starts freaking out and Izzie orders her out of the room as she tries to figure out what to do. The guy has a huge clot and he's going to die before anyone can come to save him. A nurse states that Izzie's going to have to cut him open right here, right now. Izzie says she's never even seen it done before; she could kill him. "You could kill him if you don't," says the nurse. They start prepping Izzie for surgery as she does what I would do in this situation; namely, close her eyes and go, "Oh god oh god oh god oh god."
The nurses walk Izzie through the reopening of the bypass stitches. She has to crack the chest, something she's never done before. Some time must pass during the DVD's version of a commercial break, because we come back after the fade out to Izzie up to her elbows in the guys chest and asking for suction. The guy's flatlining when Izzie finally decides to try and grab the clot by hand. She nabs it and it's a huge one. But he's still flatlining. The nurse tells her that she has to massage the heart. Izzie massages it by hand and, of course, they get a pulse. Izzie did it!
Annie Get Your Tumor's OR. Shepherd's surgery went so well, he's decided to check in with Burke's. Unfortunately, Annie's going through blood like Paris Hilton goes through STD tests. Shepherd marvels at the hugeness of the tumor and ponders how he's supposed to get around that large artery they were discussing earlier. Shepherd steps in and gets to work. Up in the peanut gallery, Mere enters and wonders out loud how Annie lived like that. Alex, who basically has been sitting here not doing his goddamn job for, like, ever, tells Mere to watch what she says because you never know who's listening. He then giggles at how George looks like he's about to fall into the body cavity and Mere asks him if he's really as callous and shallow as he seems. "Oh, you wanna go out for a drink later and hear about my secret pain?" he asks. Heh. Mere goes on to say that she can't go out with him, mostly because she doesn't want to, but also because she might be seeing someone. Who might that be, Meredith?
Down in the OR, Izzie enters and reports what she had to do to the bypass patient. The whole room practically falls down in surprise. She explains what the guy had and what she did and Alex runs down to talk to her as Burke leaves Annie to go check on the patient. Alex shouts at Izzie that she opened up a damn heart patient and couldn't even page him? "Needed allll the glory for yourself, huh?" Izzie shouts back that she paged him fifty times and does he have ANY idea what she's been through? Unfortunately, they're standing right outside the damn OR yelling at each other. Way to be professional, dudes. Alex checks his pager and sees the dead battery signal and says he forgot to change it. "You forgot?" seethes Izzie. "You are hateful!" She grabs the beeper and throws it to the ground and stomps on it. "You are a hateful, hateful, lazy, arrogant, hateful man! Hateful!" She storms off. Inside the OR, Shepherd says, "Never a dull moment here at Seattle Grace," just as Annie's artery suddenly starts gushing all over him. Alex watches from outside as everyone is scrambling to save her. Annie's out of blood and none's coming any time soon. Shepherd asks what Bailey cut, but she says she didn't cut anything; the artery walls were just too weak. "Annie, come on," says Alex. He then runs down the hall and intercepts the O-negative blood that's on its way to Annie. She's flatlining. Derek tries to save her but it's no good. She's gone. He declares the time of death and leaves the OR just as Alex walks in with the blood and sees that Annie's dead.
"The early bird catches the worm," says Mere's voiceover. "A stitch in time saves nine." We see Burke closing up the bypass patient's chest. "Messy," he says. "Sorry," says Izzie. "Don't be," he says. "You saved his life." Aw. Bailey and George go to tell Annie's mother that she died. "He who hesitates has lost," says Mere's voiceover. Mere walks Mr. Levangie down the hall to his daughter. "We can't pretend we haven't been told," she voiceovers. "We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets tell us to seize the days. Still, sometimes, we have to see for ourselves." She smiles brightly as Mr. Levangie takes his daughter's arm and they walk down the hall. Aw.
Cristina's in some break room, stretching out her back after the massive tumor weightlifting session she had. Burke knocks and enters. "I'm not doing you any more favors," he says. "This was it." Cristina scoffs. "I've been holding up fifty pounds of tumor for the past twelve hours, my back's gonna need traction and the patient died anyways. And you think you did me a favor?" She flings herself down onto the cot. "Look, I'm just..." he looks at her in frustration. "What is this? That we're doing here? What is it?" God. Again with the questions. "You need a definition?" says Cristina, reclining on the bed. "You really want to be that guy?" Hee! Love. Love her. Burke kind of looks at her as Mere's voiceover says that we have to make our own mistakes. "Lock the door," he says, suddenly all commanding. Cristina just tilts her head to the side and contemplates him rather sexily. It's awesome. "We have to learn our own lessons," says Mere's voiceover.
Elsewhere in the hospital, George is asking Alex if he's seen Meredith. Alex tells him to save himself the misery because Meredith's off the market. George is all, I DON'T WANT TO DATE HER WE'RE JUST FRIENDS REALLY I DON'T LIKE HER OR ANYTHING I JUST WANT TO HOLD HER AND KISS HER AND SMELL HER HAIR. "Whatever," says Alex, walking off. Later on, at the house, George brings two beers and two glasses to Meredith's room in the hopes that he can get her McDrunky and make her fall in love with him. He's doing that thing I hate so very much, the "I'll Be Her Friend Until She Realizes How Awesome I Am and Falls Deeply in Love with Me Forever and Ever Amen" thing. I've seen that guy many, many times and let me tell you, it is NOT attractive. But Mere's not in her room. And she doesn't make her bed. Because she's a P-I-G pig. "We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore," says Mere's voiceover. "Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant." George looks dejected. "That knowing is better than wondering," Mere continues. "That waking is better than sleeping."
Mere should know. She's standing outside the hospital, in the rain, waiting for McDreamy. He shows up and she tells him that she knows this place where there's an amazing view of the sunrise over the ferryboats. She pulls a bottle of red wine out of her bag and smiles at him. "I have a thing for ferryboats," he says. Well, then, I guess it's a good thing she's taking you to go watch them, isn't it? They take his car through the rain to watch those sexy little ferryboats. Mere's voiceover delivers its last line: "And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying."
Enjoy those ferryboats while you can, kids. Because a little atom bomb by the name of Addison Shepherd's going to show up here in about three episodes...