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The impossible has happened -- Derek has actually moved in! However, he assumes that this means that Meredith is kicking out Izzie and Alex, which Izzie learns when she finds Derek measuring her bedroom to become his office. For someone who just came from living in a trailer, I'd think he'd appreciate just having a living room where he couldn't touch the opposite walls at the same time, at least for a little while. But this sends Izzie down into the dumps, which isn't helped by the fact that Alex is still being mean to her. Derek even tries to get Cristina on his side, but though she admits she would kick the other two out, she gets mad at him for the little ploy. She goes and talks to Dr. Amy (Meredith earlier announced that she was all better and finished with therapy) and begs Dr. Amy to tell Meredith she still needs help. Mere and Dr. A then meet in the elevator for some touching words about how she's doing better but she isn't finished with needing therapy. Amen!
Callie and Hahn are apparently still a secret to everyone but Mark. This freaks Hahn out, even more so when she realizes that Callie told him all about it because she and Mark are buddies. Callie finally convinces Hahn that she's friends with Mark, she's the kind of person who likes discussing her life with a friend, and she's not going to stop being herself in this relationship, which Hahn actually takes quite well. I may still feel like this is a forced storyline, but it might just be the healthiest relationship that this show has ever seen thus far. When he's not teasing the happy new couple, Mark is still giving Lexie crap for mooning around after George. She diagnoses a really rare condition in a patient but when Mark offers her the chance to scrub in on the surgery, she declines because she's helping out George. He was supposed to take his intern test, but ended up offering to help the Chief when disaster struck.
Ah yes, the watery disaster -- a pipe burst on the surgical floor and the Chief is determined to believe that maintenance has it contained, despite Bailey's repeated warnings that things could get worse than just drips coming from the ceiling. In example number ONE MILLION of why you never doubt Dr. Bailey, she's totally right, as illustrated by the ceiling of one of the ORs caving in on top of a patient with a wide-open abdomen. It's a pretty humbling end to the day for Richard, who started out the morning giving the entire staff a lecture about how residents will need to learn actual general medicine, attendings and residents alike will have to actually teach, and a whole bunch of other new guidelines that might actually make Seattle Grace look like a legitimate hospital. Having learned his lesson about not being such a bossy know-it-all, he follows through on his speech about being a good teacher by staying late and acting as proctor while George finally retakes his intern exam, the results of which we'll presumably learn week.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!A fish tank alerts us to the fact that we're in Dr. Amy's office, because fish are soothing to those having a psychiatrist appointment. My dentist when I was a child also had a fish tank, and I'm sure it was supposed to be soothing to all the little ones about to have teeth pulled or the like. But the problem was that they put in fish that turned out to be kind of vicious and would eat each other, so you'd see a few floating around and then a blob of fish remains. Happy drilling, little children! Mere VOs: "As surgeons, we're trained to fix what's broken." She's in a really good mood as she explains to Dr. Amy that she's in a hurry because there's a big meeting, but that she wanted to stop by and tell Dr. A that she's done with therapy. VO: "The breaking point is our starting line at work." It's for this reason that I'm happy not to work at a job where people's lives depend on me. Dr. Amy is pretty confused and assures Meredith that she's come a long way but that she's definitely not done. Mere, however, tells her shrink that she is happy now, and isn't that the point? Dr. Amy tells her it's not. While Mere thinks about this with a furrowed brow, her VO continues: "But in our lives, the breaking point is a sign of weakness." Dr. Amy begs Mere to stay for her session, but Mere makes excuses about the meeting, shakes the doctor's hand and thanks her for everything. Her VO concludes, "And we'll do everything we can to avoid it."
Izzie walks into her bedroom with her hair in a towel, post-shower, to find Derek taking measurements in her bedroom. He tells her that he's thinking of turning this room into his office when she moves out. A very confused Izzie asks when she's moving out. Derek, ever the sensitive soul, looks perplexed and concerned that he just dropped a bomb. But it passes in a second and he asks hopefully, "Soon?"
Izzie storms into Alex's room to see if he's heard about the surprise eviction, but to her horror a female head pops up from under his covers. The girl generously offers that Izzie can join them, but she just runs away as quickly as she can.
Once Alex has bundled off his Flavor of the Night and headed to work, he finds Meredith and demands to know when she was going to tell he and Izzie they had to move out. Derek comes up at that moment and demands to know the same thing. Izzie, of course, materializes to present a baked good to Meredith as a desperate bribe. Mere wants to know why they have to move out (and, isn't this a conversation they maybe should have had before they moved in together in the first place?) so Derek explains that it feels like he lives in a frat house, especially with Alex's parade of women. "Parade of skanks," Izzie corrects. Aw, fifth-grade level flirting. Alex, awesomely, just brushes that all off and wants to know if he's apartment hunting. In her general, led-by-others way of making decisions, Meredith tells them she has to think about it. Even before I saw the rest of this episode, I knew that what was coming was Meredith asking Cristina to essentially decide on her behalf. Izzie begs Meredith to savor her Guilt Muffin before she decides. Once they are gone, Meredith whines to Derek that she likes her roommates. He tells her he does too (doubtful), that they were her life and this is "our life." This is a totally valid point. One he could have spoken to her about beforehand. Making no sudden, scary moves with your commitment-phobe girlfriend is one thing, but saying nothing and then acting kind of dicky about the whole thing with her friends is another. I'm convinced there's a happy... well, a functional medium in there somewhere. He finishes by telling her he's excited about their life together and giving her a peck on the cheek, but there's a bit of a condescending undercurrent to it all.
Cristina is already sitting down playing with her phone when Meredith walks in and immediately tells her what's going on. No "hello," no "how's your day," no "I realize that my relationship both bores you and makes you angry." Cristina asks, "Since when does [Derek] say 'jump' and you jump?" I know this very good rhetorical question isn't actually going to be enough, and that makes me sad. For me. Mere tells her flatly, "I'm happy." Cristina corrects that Mere is pissed off, but on seeing that this isn't what Mere wants to believe, she sits up straighter and tells her to do whatever she wants. It's not a in a normal Cristina tone, though -- this is more like she's now making no sudden moves to scare Mere away.
The Chief takes the podium and in the audience, Hahn asks disdainfully if anyone knows "what the new rules are." From the row behind her, Mark leans over and whispers he's heard she's "into hand-holding, foot rubs, and late-night gab sessions." Hahn demands, "Excuse me?" Mark drops his head into his hands and then tells her he thought she was talking about her relationship with Callie. "I've been wrong before." Hahn looks really startled as the Chief starts speaking.
Richard's meeting has been called for him to announce (as promised last week) that he's implementing a new teaching protocol at Seattle Grace, both with new rules and old rules that will actually be enforced. Oh yeah, I'll believe that when I see it. Cut into his speech are scenes of everyone going about rounds later. Cristina gives the bullet on a patient named Jack who is in for an abdominal aortic aneurysm repair. She caught something on his last CT so she ordered a new one, and Hahn (shockingly genuinely) compliments her on catching it and gives her the patient. Richard breaks in and instead gives the patient to Alex. Both Jack and Alex look mildly uncomfortable about this.
Richard continues, to Cristina's dismay, to announce that first, second and third year residents will not be allowed to de facto specialize, as that's been getting in the way of getting a fully rounded surgical education. In case we forgot that Meredith lamely started leaning towards neuro because of her boyfriend, she's now giving the bullet on her patient, Barry. He's had chronic, debilitating headaches for the last seven years and no one can figure out why. He's in a darkened room, and she's speaking just above a whisper so as not to make his head hurt any worse. When Derek asks him to identify his pain level on a scale of one to ten, he says it's an eight. "It's always an eight." Since nothing else has worked, Derek is suggesting they do a partial frontal lobotomy. They go through all the horrific risks, including personality change and seizures, and Derek says that's why it's only a last resort. Sounds to me like he's made up his mind already, actually. Barry just chuckles resignedly at the idea of more tests -- the poor guy can't even handle Cristina talking in a normal voice or the beeping of his machines, so I'm sure the tests won't be a picnic. Richard pulls Meredith off the case and gives it to Cristina.
Richard adds, "Personal relationships, personal loyalties and personal favorites will no longer be a factor in our training program." Oh, so they also needed more storylines between characters that wouldn't normally be thrown together, so here's their chance. Attendings are ordered to "spread [their] wealth of knowledge" equally among all the residents," (Derek is highlighted) and everyone is also going to have to step up their patient communication and bedside manner. "For some of us, this means learning the lost art of humanity and compassion," (cut to a confused Alex, frowning at this idea of "humanity"). Richard concludes, "For others this means learning how to treat patients without becoming emotionally involved with them." Guess whose face the camera focuses on this time? Whatever is Izzie going to do with herself if she can't get both uppity and mopey about what is going on with her patients at any given time?
Izzie introduces the patient she's currently too involved with: Shelly, a 30-year-old with stage four colon cancer. They're going to do a liver resection that might cure her, but Shelly, because she's plucky and awesome and therefore probably doomed to some horrific fate, corrects that it will be curative. Her sister Jenn then starts to ask about what will happen if they find more cancer than they expect, but Shelly cuts her off for both thinking negatively and asking questions that she already asked Izzie. She mentions Izzie's awesomeness a number of times and the Chief can't reassign Meredith to this case quickly enough. Shelly and Izzie both look pained. Back in the lecture hall, the Chief reminds them that this is surgery, not psych, and warns everyone not to confuse the two.
Residents are then reminded that they are in charge of their interns' educations, and that if they fail, the residents fail. He might as well have added, "... CRISTINA." His comment is clearly really for Hahn as he repeats the same thing to attendings regarding their residents. He orders them to "teach with enthusiasm" -- the camera lingers on Bailey, as if we didn't know she's the only teacher worth her salt -- and also orders them to "learn with enthusiasm." Lexie looks so earnest about that comment that it actually makes me uncomfortable. She's Ms. Dreamy in a roomful of people who just want to get out of there and get back to work. Richard concludes, "We're surgeons. We cut out malignancies. Let's start at home, people." The shot lingers on Meredith but by the look on her face, I can't tell if she's absorbing the idea or if she's feeling funny from something she ate earlier. Regardless, it's not the best acting this show has ever seen.
George, meanwhile, looks excited and nervous, as I gather he should be, considering that he's finally taking his intern exam again. Richard introduces him to Dr. Epstein, who will proctor his test. The Chief asks if George is ready, and then reminds him that he'll have three hours from the time he breaks the seal on the test, and he's not allowed to leave the room for any reason until he's finished. In that case, speaking of breaking the seal, I advise George to put that water bottle away. Richard leaves and Dr. Epstein hands George the exam. George takes a deep breath, but still seems un-George-ishly calm and confident. He tells himself he can do this, and then very, VERY George-ishly adds that he's not married and cheating on his wife with his best friend this time. He concludes that "everything is just as it should be." But as he reaches to break the seal on the test, a drop of water splashes onto the front cover. The drips start coming steadily, and he and the proctor look up to see a sagging acoustic tile that's cracking and dripping.
Alex is wheeling Jack down the hall to have his CT, but the wheelchair is acting like a grocery store cart and isn't rolling very well. Alex comments that it's broken and as he's trying to fix it. Jack blandly tells him that this is just how things are around him. His toaster broke, his cat ran away, his porch collapsed, and his TV only shows the color green. Dude, look at that last one as an opportunity to go purchase a beautiful hi-def TV! At least that's what I'd do in about half a millisecond. Alex leaves to go get another chair -- not even scooting Jack to the side of the hallway, just leaving him sitting right in the middle of traffic. Jack tells Alex he'll just walk, and shuffles away to go get some coffee. Alex sees him and tries to convince him to get back in the chair, but his pleas are ineffective, and of course Jack slips on some water and cracks his head on the floor. Well, that isn't doing much to help the #12 ranking so far, I'm sure.
Cleary, Richard is thinking the same thing. He helps Jack to his feet along with Alex while apologizing profusely, and then tells Alex to get Jack a CT and to update Richard hourly on his condition. How convenient that that's where they were going already! He assures Jack he's going to be okay, and after Jack is wheeled away he looks at his own wet, sagging acoustic tile, which is where this whole thing started. Mike the Maintenance Guy comes by and explains that a pipe burst and that they have to turn off the water and isolate it. Richard's only thoughts, however, are coming from the deep inferiority complex that bloomed last week when they dropped in every ranking possible, and he blusters that they need water on the surgical floor to scrub in, clean and save lives. He tells Mike to take care of it with the water still on, and Mike shrugs and says he'll try. As if to prove that it's superior to these feeble humans, Richard then walks away and a leak elsewhere drips right onto this forehead. If only that were bird poo, that would be lucky! But, it's not, and so... it's not. George comes down the hall to ask about finding a new test room, but the look on Richard's face makes it clear that he needs to him to find a room himself, so he shuffles off with the proctor following.
Hahn finds Callie to let her know they have a problem and his name is McSteamy. He knows. Callie gives a laugh and says that that's because she told him, and he's known from the beginning. Hahn doesn't take the news that the lecherous wise-ass of the staff knows about them very well. Okay, as they made out just outside the front doors of the hospital, I'd have to guess that more than just Mark figured out what was up. Also? How does Hahn not know that Callie and Mark are friends? Callie's shocked that Hahn doesn't have someone she talks to "about things," but Hahn says that that person is Callie, and that she likes her private life private. Okay, forget the specific example of Callie and Mark -- has she really never encountered friends/lovers/anyone who has a friend whom they confide in that isn't their significant other? This is one general beef I have with this show: they can take someone who seems to kick ass, and in giving them a personal life they make them immature and basically undermine any of the kick-assedness of before. It's what's bugged me about Lexie, too -- granted, we only met her for a second, but I don't believe in any way, shape or form that the little wide-eyed naïf is the same woman who could pick up Derek in a bar. Wow, how did I get here? To conclude, Hahn informs Callie that she especially wants things kept private from Mark. Behind them, Izzie wanders in and finds and apartment for rent sign on the bulletin board, which she takes with a smile.
Mere is with Shelly and Jenn, explaining that Shelly's surgery should be around two hours. When Jenn asks, Mere admits it could be longer if they find complications, but Shelly orders Jenn to quit it and to just call their parents to tell them it's two hours. I'm a little torn with these two -- on the one hand I so totally get wanting to look on the bright side, but on the other I get being realistic and worried. When she's not fighting with her sister, though, Shelly is as cute as a headscarf-wearing button, so I'll go with it this time. When Jenn storms out, Shelly explains that all Jenn has been able to talk about is her cancer, which is actually worse than the cancer itself. Shelly continues, "So I know I don't know you, but... spill." Mere's confused and asks her what, and Shelly pleads, "ANYTHING." She wants non-cancerous gossip. Man, this may be the #12 teaching hospital but it is #1 for good dirt. Mere thinks a moment, and asks, "Do you want to hear about my stupid boss, or my stupid boyfriend?" Okay, Richard always acts kind of stupid, but finally acting like a boss is supposed to act doesn't make him a "stupid boss." Derek, on the other hand, is really fitting that "stupid boyfriend" title like it was tailored to his specifications. And of course that's what Shelly wants to hear about!
Said stupid boyfriend is prepping Barry for a test, assisted by Lexie and Cristina. They're going to give him "a variety of different stimuli" to see his brain wave pattern. Barry has had his hand over his eyes and groans a bit when he has to take it away, reporting when asked that the pain is still at an 8. The test starts, and it's very reminiscent of what the Others were doing to Carl while holding him prisoner on Lost. Derek goes around to watch the monitors but once there, rather than actually watching what is happening with regards to the patient whose frontal lobe he might remove, he tries to talk to Cristina about the roommates. She clearly doesn't want to take part and ignores his nattering on about how he's not being unreasonable. When he asks if she would want them out, she ignores him completely. He thinks a moment, then says they have to operate (how he'd know this, given that he's not been watching any of the test, I don't know) and bribes Cristina by telling her he'll let her drill burr holes by herself. She's clearly pissed and finally spits, "Fine, I'd want them out. Whatever." And Derek manages to sound even more condescending as he replies, "You would," before walking back around to talk to Barry. Lexie approaches Cristina and stutters that she thinks she has an idea. Cristina snaps at her that she shouldn't think, she should know, and sends her off to the lab for results.
Mere is helping wheel Shelly into surgery and concludes what is clearly her conundrum with, "But Izzie bakes, and Alex fixes things!" I'm so not on Derek's side (even though I would feel the same way) because he's being such a putz, but I'm fairly sure he'd fix things too, and even kill bugs. At least she's won't find herself alone with her cats and a cricket in her apartment and leap around like weenie and squeal for ten minutes before she's able to trap the admittedly harmless bug and toss it out the front door like I did the other night. Shelly tells Mere that if she were out in the world with a hot doctor boyfriend who wanted to move in, "I might forego the baked goods and repair work." Mere then alerts Shelly so she can check out Derek, but she probably would have figured who he was since he walks by and announces that Cristina thinks he should move the roommates out. Once he passes, Shelly swoons... over his hair. Mere, though, doesn't really have the wherewithal to swoon over his luscious locks since she's clearly in a tizzy about what he just said, and she resolutely announces that the hair is one of the things that makes her happy. Clearly it's a case of, "If I say it out loud enough times, it will become true." The being happy, I mean, not the spectacular hair.
I'm not sure if Lexie got the test results she was sent to retrieve or not, but she finds Dr. Sloane to ask him about something. Imagine lots of stuttering and superfluous details about her photographic memory from Lexie, and insults from Mark about just how pathetic she is -- it pains me too much to describe them. What it all boils down to is that she read an article when she was helping George study, and she thinks it could help a patient: She thinks that Barry needs an ENT, and -- how convenient -- Mark happens to be one.
Alex has taken Jack in for his CT and is monitoring him from the room. Izzie comes in and hands Alex the flyer about the apartment, cooing about how she found this place with hardwood floors and an actual fireplace. I have never seen anything that would indicate that Alex is a guy who is going to be swayed by an actual fireplace, but she's also supposed to look desperate, so maybe that's the point? She tells him she can't afford the place by herself, so, "I thought you could get over yourself... we could live together." That also doesn't seem like the way to sweet-talk him into doing her a favor and sure enough, it's not. She again mentions the hardwood floor and the actual fireplace, but he informs her that he'd rather live in his "actual car." He gets back to work while she rolls her tear-filled eyes and stomps out. Richard comes in to check on Jack, wondering if Alex thinks Jack might sue. Alex says he believes that he isn't the lawsuit type, and the two men wait for the image to show up. Meanwhile, the water dripping down onto the machine from above really wants to test Alex's opinion about Jack's desire not to sue. With a giant flash of light and sparks, the CT machine shorts out and the entire room goes dark. Inside, Jack can only call, "Hello?"
Once again, Richard finds himself groveling as he and Alex help a stunned Jack onto a gurney. He can only mutter, "My wife left me. My accountant stole from me. The store I worked at burned down. I was diagnosed with an aneurysm for which I require surgery in a hospital that seems to be crumbling around me. God hates me." Not you, Jack, He just hates Seattle Grace and wants to teach them that they're actually lucky to be ranked as high as #12.
Bailey and Mere are in surgery working on Shelly. They easily identify the tumor and in a sing-song voice Bailey points out that the liver is healthy. She sings about the beauty of general surgery, where they cut out the badness and make everything right, where you and the scalpel are one on one. After a bemused glance from Mere, Bailey drops the singing and informs her, "Okay, this is me teaching with enthusiasm." But her enthusiasm is quickly doused as she sees something that looks really bad in Shelly's insides.
George is clutching a handful of pencils as if his very life depends on it. When the Chief calls his name he shrieks, "What!" and then tries to calm himself. Richard looks a little bit scared and has the grace to act a bit embarrassed as he asks, if George is done with his test, if he can help with everything that is going on. (Help solve things before the patients find out -- other than the guy who nearly blew up in the CT, I suppose.) George trembles and says nothing until his proctor comes up and excitedly tells him he's found a room in which George can take his test. George manically turns back to the Chief, who realizes what's up and tells him to go ahead. But after a beat, George seems to be pulled back to his duty, and says that he's the Chief's Intern for at least one more day and can help. He and Lexie are like the most perfect, pathetic would-be couple of all time! I hope someone gives them his-and-hers doormats as a wedding gift.
Speaking of Lexie, she and Sloane head back into Barry's room, and Mark asks Derek if he can run a test. Derek quips that he doesn't think Barry needs a tummy tuck, which Mark brushes off. He then puffs himself up to brag that he takes the new teaching protocol seriously, so when Lexie came to him with an idea, he listened. Cristina's ears perk up angrily at the idea that her intern had an independent and possibly intelligent thought. Lexie explains what she read, something about a nerve in Barry's nose. Cristina cuts in to condescend, but Sloane answers that if Lexie is right, Barry will let them know. With that, Derek gives Mark his blessing. Mark sits down and introduces himself, and Barry only moans quietly that 16 other ENT's so far have been unable to help. Mark just continues and sticks some sort of tool up his nose, which causes Barry to start shrieking that this is what's been causing all the pain. Cristina seems stunned and almost unhappy that Lexie caught the problem, and sulks a bit as Mark explains the ridiculous technical name for what Barry has. He says it's a simple procedure to fix it, unless of course Derek still wants to cut out part of his brain. Derek congratulates him, but it's lacking sincerity.
Shelly wakes up from her surgery to find her sister holding her hand and Bailey and Mere at her bedside. She's groggy but happy as she asks how it went, and it's heartbreaking to see Bailey have to break the news that the cancer was much more extensive than they thought. Jenn jumps in quickly to tell her it just means a round of chemo, and that she's already called the oncologist. Her phone rings, and she leaves to take the call. Bailey quietly tells her that they can manage the pain, and apologizes for not having better news. Shelly takes a moment to try and digest it, but then decides to ask Mere if she decided what to do. Mere just tells her that she's so sorry, so Shelly tries again and asks how good Derek is in bed. Mere only answers with a sad chuckle.
Hahn finds Callie in one of the lounges and sits primly, clearly ready to Talk About Issues. She tells Callie that they don't even know what they are yet, and asks how Mark, then, knows? She's upset that Callie would talk to Mark instead of her and naturally, that is the moment that Mark chooses to walk in. He asks if he's interrupting and Hahn just snipes that his timing is perfect, so Mark asks, grinning, if she was about to feel Callie up. Hahn storms out and Mark grins like the Joker as Callie orders him to stop. He can't, even more so because Hahn hates it so much. He can't stop grinning (and I can't stop lusting at how adorable he looks) and so Callie throws a paper cup at him.
Mere plops down to Cristina in the cafeteria and immediately starts in on her for telling Derek she thinks Mere should move out the roommates. Cristina argues that she said that is what she herself would do, and that she only did it to shut him up. (Well, and to drill burr holes -- that was probably bigger motivation than just him shutting his yap.) Mere starts her usual desperate search for support from Cristina, saying she's going to have them move out because that's the adult thing to do...right, right, RIGHT?? Cristina asks what the shrink said and is stunned to hear she quit. Meredith just repeats that she is happy. Lexie joins them, followed by George, who has no food and instead just lays his head down on the table. He babbles about helping the Chief while facts fall out of his head, and Lexie feeds him salad because it's "brain food." Alex joins the gang to report about Jack getting stuck in the CT, and Meredith chimes in that she hates when a patient she likes is dying, regarding Shelly. Not to be outdone, Lexie tells them about how her patient has been in pain for seven years because of a nerve in his nose. Cristina doesn't believe that Barry has really been living at an eight all this time, and claims he just has a low pain threshold. She has a high one, and challenges Alex to test her -- he does by flicking her wrist, and she doesn't flinch. George thinks it was a bullshit pansy flick, so Alex does it to him and he screams like a girl. Cristina asks Lexie how she diagnosed it, and we hear again about the article and her photographic memory while she feeds George more brain food.
Post-surgery and depressing news delivery, Bailey finds the Chief to ask about the flood. He maintains that it's not a flood, just a burst pipe and a minor problem at that. He tries to dismiss her to surgery, but she has a little story for him first. She tells him that a few weeks before, Little Tuck flushed an action figure down the toilet, which she thought was no big deal. "But then I came home to a kitchen filled with several inches of poop water." Richard repeats, as if he can't believe she really just said it, "Poop water." "In my kitchen, sir," she answers. He thanks her, but repeats that it's under control, and so she heads off with a curt, "Sir." Oh, Richard, you don't mess with poop water and you certainly don't mess with Bailey. She knows things.
Izzie runs into the elevator where she finds Alex, Mere and Cristina. She tells them she's moving the pre- and post-op patients to the clinic, and Alex responds by hitting her like he did everyone else at lunch. She shrieks as he points out she doesn't have a high pain threshold. She turns to Mere in response and tells her to just throw him out. Izzie bakes and cleans, while Alex only brings filth. "What would you prefer, Meredith, chocolate cake, or an STD?" Alex smirks. I think someone needs to educate Izzie on how one actually contracts an STD, because while Alex does bring through a parade of ladies, I don't think any of them are going to be gifting a disease to Meredith anytime soon. The doors to the elevator open and water rushes in -- thank goodness, though, it doesn't appear to be poop water.
There's mass chaos as everyone tries to get the patients out while the ceiling rains on them. Bailey runs after the Chief, who is still somehow claiming that he has things under control, and he orders her to join Izzie in the clinic. Bailey advises him to shut the floor down, get the patients to other hospitals, and then they can get the plumbing fixed and everything back up in no time. His plan, however, is to close all but 2 ORs, and reiterates angrily that he has it under control. When Bailey interrupts him, he finally yells, "Dr. Bailey! Clinic! Now!" She gives him a Look, and smoothly answers, "Yes sir. On my way." She knows he'll regret messing with her.
Lexie, meanwhile, is helping George with the Chief Intern duties. He hands her a stack of files but asks to make sure she has time, and she assures him she really wants him to take the test. Mark chooses that moment to call her over and tell her that she's not entirely useless, and because she caught Barry's extremely rare condition, she can scrub in. She panics that he means now, and Mark answers that the flood is contained, and Barry's been waiting to be pain-free for seven years. Stuttering, she tells him she can't. There's love, and then there's making sure you destroy your budding career, Lexie. She thanks him and asks, "But maybe time?" He's ticked off and informs her, "No, Lassie, there won't be a time." He punctuates his leaving with a muttered, "Pathetic."
Cristina heads in to prep Barry for surgery and take some blood. He happily agrees and puts up his arm. Cristina, not unkindly, asks about his pain and when he says it is always an eight, comments that she thought he had some relief. He knows what she means, though, and explains to her that in seven years he's seen 39 doctors, tried every painkiller, and been told that it was his imagination, that he's crazy, and that he's a drug addict. She's somewhat shamed into her silence. His voice wavers as he explains that his wife died last year after years of carting him around to doctors and tests. He begins to cry as he continues, "She was my best friend. She was my favorite person, and she died. And I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel that pain, because I was so completely occupied with this one!" Barry has done the impossible -- Cristina seems moved. Barry emotionally says they finally know what's wrong and Dr. Sloane is going to fix him so yes, he has had some relief. Realizing the truth of his situation, she gets to work drawing his blood as he composes himself.
Alex is back with Jack, who is muttering that he doesn't want surgery because it will either hurt or he'll die. Potato potahto. Alex tells him he understands, but if Jack wants to live, he needs surgery. Jack's astonished, asking if Alex has even been paying attention, and Alex pulls up a stool to sit and answer him. He tells Jack that his girlfriend had a hysterical pregnancy, slit her wrists in the room, he had to commit her, and now he's possibly being evicted, he can't afford a deposit on a new apartment and will be homeless. If he weren't acting like such a jackass lately, I'd feel sorrier for him but instead he just sounds like a whiner. Alex tells Jack there must be something, or the possibility of something -- and while he says this, he glances over at Izzie. Are you kidding me? Abusing someone for thinking you're a nice guy must be the new pulling pigtails. Jack admits that there is a girl in the supermarket but that he's never been able to say hi to her, and Alex answers that he can say hi after the surgery, and adds that he's sure Jack's luck is going to turn around. "And when it does, you say hello." He looks over at Izzie again.
Cristina grabs a candy bar from the vending machine and turns to see Izzie watching her creepily. She then more creepily offers Cristina some of her chips. They trade some sugar for some salt and Izzie observes that Cristina isn't a terrible person. Cristina just answers, "Ooohkay." Izzie, trying to sounds super nice, says she they haven't always seen eye to eye, but there's this great apartment (I've heard it has hardwood floors and a fireplace) and that it's across the street from the hospital. She hands Cristina the flyer, saying that she knows Cristina can afford it and that it has the added bonus of being "Burke-free," opining that it must be awful living in his old place. She chirps, "Think about it!" Other than being able to see where this story is going from a million miles away, does anything in that exchange sound like, "Let's be roommates?" No? Okay, then let's note that for the future.
Bailey, who seems pretty beaten down by all her arguing with the chief, throws herself into a seat in the observation deck to watch Jack's surgery. Below, Alex tells Hahn about Jack's belief that there's a dark cloud following him, and she comments on how overly dramatic it sounds. But in actuality there is a dark cloud, somewhere in the ceiling tiles, and the telltale drips start to rain down. Bailey sees what is about to happen and starts banging on the glass and yelling, but they can't understand her. It doesn't matter too much, though, since it's only another second before the entire ceiling collapses on top of them, and Alex is just able to throw himself over Jack's open abdomen.
Jack seems to be stable, and Bailey runs in to try and help. Hahn sends her to tell Richard what happened, and then asks about what OR is free. It turns out the one Sloane is in is the only other one available, so she sends Alex to commandeer it for them. Mark is just about to start and is numbing Barry's nose. Behind him, Cristina asks Derek if he's just going to watch. He tells her that he's a pain specialist and so doesn't want to miss it. "So yes, I'm just gonna watch." Cristina fidgets a moment and then whispers angrily, "Don't ever use me again, to try and influence her. You and I are not Team Meredith." There's no chance for Derek to respond because Alex runs in, yelling that they need the OR.
Bailey has done her given task because the Chief is asking in disbelief, "On a patient?" He can't believe it and Bailey explains, in a measured tone, that the staff wasn't hurt, but that the patient's abdomen was, in fact, open at the time. He sighs as Bailey glares at him, and he rightly looks uncomfortable. He then tells her to spread word that they are closing the surgical floor and shipping off the patients. She leaves to do so and he calls after her, "And Dr. Bailey? Try not to gloat on the way out." She promises, "No gloating, sir." And because she's the most awesome, she does seem to mean it.
Back in the OR that still has a ceiling, Hahn, Alex and the others have been pulling the last of the ceiling bits out of Jack's midsection. Alex looks back inside and notices something on the pancreas, asking if it's damage from the debris. Hahn takes a look and sighs, telling him that it's a tumor.
Cristina knocks on the door to Dr. Amy's office and asks if she's the shrink. When Dr. Amy confirms it, Cristina orders, "Well you can't let her quit." From that sentence alone, Dr. Amy guesses that she must be Cristina. At this, Cristina is indignant for a moment, realizing that Meredith has talked about her, but she brushes it off and walks further inside, babbling that she can't let Meredith quit because now that Cristina is being supportive, she's not allowed to have an opinion. "So... you're my last hope." Dr. Amy is confused, and an impatient Cristina asks for confirmation on whether it's her job to have an opinion. It is, so she explains, that Meredith, "... lives her life at an eight. Her pain, on any given day, she lives at an eight. And he doesn't get that." She then goes on a rant about him wanting the roommates to move out, which proves he doesn't understand Meredith, since the roommates are her family. She needs Dr. Amy to tell Meredith not to move them out. "I mean, she thinks she's happy, but she's not. And it's your job to tell her!" I feel like the metaphor is kind of shaky -- I don't feel like Meredith has just one pain blocking out any other pain she might feel. I think she's had a shitty life and is an emotional mess who can't handle the whole kit and caboodle. That said, Meredith definitely still needs to be in therapy. Dr. Amy gives Cristina a totally different answer than what she was looking for, though: "It must be incredibly painful for you, the idea of losing Meredith to Derek." And man, am I glad someone finally pointed that out. I love Cristina so much, but this has clearly been at the heart of some of her problems with Derek. Cristina just furrows her brow and tells her, "You're a terrible shrink!" and leaves.
Shelly seems to have told her sister she doesn't want treatment, because Jenn is pleading with her just to talk to the oncologist. They go back and forth until Jenn's phone rings and she leaves. Meredith comes in, asking if Shelly had her paged. She did -- Mere can't let her die without knowing what she decided to do in the whole roommate/boyfriend sitch. Meredith closes the door and sits down on Shelly's bed. She says she nothing and Shelly, horrified, asks if she's going to break up with him. Still, Mere says nothing, and Shelly tells her in a small voice, "No fair! I'm dying and you're casting all that hotness in the wind. No fair." She's been smiling, but as Meredith looks at her, her façade starts to crack and she begins to repeat, "No fair." Mere takes her hand as she starts to cry. This was the way better Meredith metaphor, even though Mere isn't dying -- but she's spending all her time convincing herself and others that she's happy when she still has problems.
Jack wakes up, clearly amazed to be alive after his surgery. Alex smiles and tells him Hahn is coming to tell Jack about the surgery, but when Jack asks if it went okay, Alex launches in without hesitation to tell him everything himself. He tells Jack about the ceiling collapse, and explains that since they had to examine him more thoroughly to get all the ceiling out, they found a tumor on his pancreas. Jack starts to laugh a bit crazily at his "luck," but Alex goes on to tell him why this is a good thing. Apparently they almost never find this kind of cancer until it's too far gone, but his was found at stage one and removed completely, so he won't even need chemo. He adds that the ceiling collapse saved Jack's life. "Your luck has turned, man! It's turned!" Jack gets control of himself and quietly declares that he's going to say hello to the girl at the supermarket. Ah, love in the produce aisle -- the idea makes Alex smile.
Out in the ambulance bay, the Chief oversees all the patients being moved. George runs up and tells him that he downloaded all the patients' info onto DVDs to go with their charts. At this point I'm surprised he didn't also hand-knit all of the blankets on their beds while helping some wayward dog birth puppies. He certainly seems to have done more than Richard did all day. He asks if there is anything else he can do to help, and the Chief looks at him kind of like he just realized what was going on.
Lexie's at Joe's playing with a straw in her drink when Mark sits down. She asks how it went and when he doesn't answer, she assures him that she knows she's pathetic and George doesn't know she exists and she missed the surgery, but to please tell her. He admits they didn't get to do it, that Barry was sent to another hospital, and seems angry and sad to admit he won't be out of pain tomorrow as promised. But he lifts his own spirits by then asking, "Photographic memory, huh?" He orders her to recite the periodic table, and grins as she starts running through the list. George may not know she exists, but one Dr. McSteamy certainly does.
At a table nearby, Cristina and Callie are excitedly looking at the apartment flyer. Izzie comes up, just as excited, to ask what they think, and Cristina and Callie thank her profusely and talk about how fantastic it is and how much they love it. Izzie's face takes on Jack's dark cloud and she absolutely loses it, yelling at Cristina that she meant for the two of them to be roommates. I don't think I could come up with a worse combo of two people to live under the same roof. Also, as we noted before? She totally didn't seem like she was asking Cristina to be her roommate. So I have very little sympathy. Izzie demands the flyer back, but Cristina admits she already put down a deposit, and tells Izzie she should have been clearer. Izzie screams at them to enjoy it, and flees the bar.
Callie, having excused herself from the showdown, is sitting at another table when Erica joins her. Hahn smiles at her but Callie is the first to speak, explaining that she knows that Hahn is private, but that Callie processes things out loud. She reminds Hahn that she gave up too much of herself when she was married and she won't do it again. I think I spy a little glimmer of Old Callie! Welcome back! She tells Hahn that Mark is her friend, and Hahn smiles at her, admitting she thinks she's jealous because Mark has seen Callie naked. Looks like maybe it's Sexy Time for these two? Callie just bursts out laughing.
Mere and Dr. Amy are in the elevator when everyone else conveniently piles off onto a different floor. Mere asks her what the point of all the hours and money spent on therapy was, since the world is a horrible place where people die. She thinks it makes no sense to try and be happy in a world like that and to her surprise, Dr. Amy agrees. But she adds that the goal isn't happiness in the face of the horribleness, but rather feeling the horrible and knowing you won't die from it. "That's the point. And you're not done. You've made progress because you're feeling and you're telling me about it. Six months ago it would have been just you and a bottle of tequila. My door is always open." With that, she heads out while Meredith ponders the point, and I ponder a margarita.
And speaking of margaritas, it's nearly quitting time. Mere VO's, "Bones break. Organs burst." Ew. Izzie is moping in a swing outside the house when Meredith gets home. VO: "Flesh tears." Mere asks if Iz is okay and she boo-hoos that she's so truly really awesomely for reals happy for Mere and Derek, but that she has no one. Mere sits down and assures her that it's not true. Alex comes up at that moment and gives a dorky little "hello" when he sees them there. Aw, so Izzie has one friend and one jerk who constantly berates her. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside.
"We can sew the flesh. Repair the damage. Ease the pain." Meredith, seeing how dysfunctional her adopted family is, marches inside where Derek has happily found Ellis' vintage martini set. Now I really want a drink. Meredith announces combatively, "They're my family! You can't just assume I'm going to kick my family out. And you don't get to announce it to them and ambush me. And you definitely don't get to try to get Cristina on your side. They're my family. They're who I have. You and them." The problem with the scene is, I don't know if it's Derek's personality or Patrick's acting, but his look goes from sincerely listening to slightly patronizing. However he agrees. She's stunned, and he admits he'd like to revisit the subject when she's ready but that it's fine for now. She walks over, sits with him on the couch, and asks, "So you still love me?" Of course he does. At least until he gets on his high horse about something else.
VO: "But when life breaks down, when we break down, there's no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. And to a surgeon, there's nothing worse. And there's nothing better."
Richard and George enter one of the observation decks and George asks if he's sure. The Chief answers that it is one thing to make a speech, but if he actually wants to make their teaching program the best, it starts here, with him. He admits he can't do anything about the flood, but he can make sure George gets to take his test, adding that he's earned it. George sits and the Chief starts a stopwatch as George breaks the seal. As George starts, Richard settles in with some work. For as much shit as I give these two, I do have the warm and fuzzies a little bit from the whole exchange. Don't worry, I'm sure it's temporary.