Harsh though the recaps have been, I found today that the cumulative effect of the past few episodes resulted in a feeling approaching thrill in the hours leading up to tonight's installment. And I was not disappointed! How great! Hilarious, breezy and fun, with everybody -- particularly Blair and Georgina -- looking fantastic. They weren't kidding when they said the second half of the season was going to lighten up. That was one of the most awesome fucking episodes in years.
That lacrosse song from when Blair tried to break Serena's legs! Two St. Vincent songs! Serena wearing her versions of a school uniform again! Dan and Nate in St. Jude's jackets! Chuck wearing the Scarf! (For some reason, this all choked me up, so it might have heightened the emotional response to the rest of the episode -- but I doubt it. It was objectively fantastic.) Blair Waldorf actually acting like Blair Waldorf!
So. Back alone from her honeymoon -- with a dour Royal Minder in tow, who seems to herself be in love with Louis -- Blair wastes no time in fixing things so she doesn't have to worry with Dan for the year, by (of course) dressing up in costume with Dorota and sending them on a surprise trickery date. In parallel to Blair's attempts to time travel everybody back to safety, Georgina uses her extensive UES payroll to arrange a V-Day party at the Empire, with the fabulous/brilliant theme of Constance Billard.
Lola -- since the restraining order Nate's begging for still hasn't kicked in -- winds up working the party, where she runs into... Ivy, who's in town on a secret errand for a mysterious "her." By the end of that awkward encounter, Lola's figured out the whole Charlie Peepers ruse, and starts doing some investigating of her own. But what's Ivy's secret? Turns out she's been living in the Hamptons, with her favorite fake grandmother... And it seems time is running out for old CeCe.
While Blair spends the party running around, whipping Serena into a Dan Frenzy and Dan into what she thinks is a Serena Frenzy, things get complicated when Georgina decides to trigger the dowry clause by blackmailing Dan into kissing Blair. But when it finally happens, it is for real and it is a scorcher... As well as being witnessed by Georgie and Serena, both. Cue hysterics from Serena, aloof shutdown from Blair, and misery for all! Not to mention Georgina's parting gift -- a tip to Chuck about the kiss, outwith her responsibilities as GG -- triggers something far deadlier: Chuck seduces Dan's agent Alessandra, the better to make his revenge.
Week: While Serena falls down a neverending pit of despair and/or meets the guest star who'll be making an attempt on her life, Dan and Chuck begin their epic battle for the heart of a woman who can't date for the year. And apparently, given the many kisses he'll be sharing with B, Dan is winning. I, for one, cannot wait.