Previously, in the Glee recaplets, Demian and LTG engaged in an arms war of escalating links, culminating in the mutually assured destruction of putting links to every song in the recaplet. I was about to surrender and allow Demian to conquer my territory (not like that, you perverts), when a reader wrote to us to express deep gratitude for the links. So now I'm stuck doing them. Curse this congenital niceness!
Okay, so Will discovers that Hot Dentist Carl has gotten Emma into The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and that attending midnight screenings at a vermin-infested low-rent theater has allowed her to start getting over her charming germophobia. Consumed by jealousy, Will spontaneously decides to compete with Carl by having the Glee Club stage a bowdlerized Rocky Horror Show, asking Emma to work on the costumes. Finn and Rachel are Brad and Janet, Artie is the guy in the wheelchair, Quinn and Santana split the role of Magenta, and Tina and Brit-Brit split the role of Columbia. But all the other roles keep getting swapped around. Will wants Kurt to play Dr. Frank-n-furter, but he refuses, so Mike Chang volunteers. But his parents make him give up the role, so Will turns to Hot Dentist Carl. But when he refuses to wear a bustier in public, Mercedes takes on the role. Hot Dentist Carl ends up taking on the role of Eddie, but then disappears at the end and that role is played by Mike Chang. And while Lady Lips is clearly destined to play the role of Rocky, his concern about wearing the gold lamé hot pants causes Will to think that maybe the role is too mature for a kid, so he decides to cast himself as Rocky. And Emma fills in as Janet for one rehearsal of one song -- a rehearsal that ends with her grasping tightly onto Will's shirtless torso. Hubba hubba!
As this train of horrible ideas speeds along to an obvious crack-up, obstacles keep getting raised. Hot Dentist Carl learns about the aforementioned shirtless torso grabbing and confronts Will. Finn, worried that he's too flabby to appear on stage in his underwear, follows the advice of Lady Lips to seize his own inner sexiness by strutting down the school hallway in nothing but his boxers, nearly leading to a month-long suspension. And Sue is approached by two executives from her station (played by Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick) and asked to do an exposé of the tawdry, torrid goings-on at McKinley High (by which I mean the staging of a musical that is entirely inappropriate for a public school). So she ends up simultaneously encouraging Will and trying to help him out all while planning to savage him in the press on opening night. Becky spills the beans, leading Will to learn of Sue's plot, but he ends up deciding that she's right that high school is no place for a production of Rocky Horror, so he cancels the show, which also happens to destroy Sue's scoop and her hopes for a local Emmy. But the kids are so disappointed that Will lets them stage the show anyway -- just not for an audience. (Except, of course, for the audience watching on television.)
LIPS!
That is to say, the episode opens with a pair of red lips on a black screen, the iconic Rocky Horror Picture Show image. And those lips are singing "Science Fiction Double Feature." It's a nice performance of the song, and a great way to start the episode. I know there was some debate about who was singing this song, but the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters have informed me that the guy in charge of the show's music has confirmed that it is Santana (also known by her human name of Naya Rivera). If I had any doubts about whose lips these were, they were erased by the tiny smirk they give at the very end of the song. Nobody can convey as much smirkiness with such a tiny movement of her lips as Ms. Santana Lopez.
And as soon as that song is finished, we're right into another. We hear the opening notes of "Over at the Frankenstein Place," and we're in the auditorium, where there's a full set showing Frank-n-Furter's castle from the outside. (And kids, don't forget -- if you ever get a flat tire on a rainy night and your boyfriend suggests walking to the nearby castle to call for a tow, just remind him that castles don't have phones. And then dump him, because he's an asshole.) Rachel, in costume and holding a newspaper over her head, is singing the song. In addition to the set, there's a massive amount of fog rolling off the edge of the stage. Finn's on stage, also in costume (complete with dorky Brad glasses), and he joins in the song. And the other kids, as Rocky Horror partygoers, are singing backup from their hiding places in the shrubbery. The song is cut off as Hot Dentist Carl (played by Hot John Stamos) walks onto the stage, in full leather, and accuses Will (who's sitting in the empty auditorium, directing) of "messing with [his] woman." We get a freeze-frame of Will's panicky face -- he looks like he's trying to chew through a particularly tough piece of gristle. In voice-over, he wonders how "did a production of Rocky Horror turn into... my horror?" I think this question calls for a flashback.
The producers agree with me, as we flash back to the teachers' lounge one week ago (as Will's V.O. tells us). Emma's nibbling on a sandwich like a super cute chipmunk when Will sits down at her table. Will looks at her sandwich and asks her why she allowed the crust, which she normally consigns to oblivion, to stay on the bread. With a puzzled look, she glances down at the sandwich and tells him that she must have forgotten. Wait, does this mean she's from the same place as Fauxlivia? Because I am not coming up with nicknames for an alternate-universe set of Gleeks. Oh, actually, it's just that she had such an amazing weekend with Hot Dentist Carl that she finally unclenched her sphincter for five minutes and didn't freak out over her lunch. Said weekend included a midnight show of Rocky Horror at the local corn-syrup encrusted "revival" movie theater. Emma was apparently unclenched all weekend, because she went to the gross theater and was surrounded by a bunch of gross nerds in costumes and didn't even care about the toast, water, and rice flying through the air. We get a very quick flashback to her at the theater with Hot Dentist Carl, throwing toast of her own. (That's not a euphemism.)
She tells Will, "I'm having so much fun, I don't even notice." Now it looks like Will has started to clench up a little, as he takes a very angry, very jealous bite out of his cookie. As Emma tells Will her plans to dress up for Halloween and go trick-or-treating even though other people have touched all the candy, we get Will's jealous V.O. telling us that Hot Dentist Carl "is making her better," which means "he's winning." This episode really is like Rocky Horror, because I just yelled out "asshole" at my television. Will cuts off Emma to point out what an amazing coincidence it is that she mentioned Rocky Horror, since he had just decided one week ago to have the Glee Club put it on as the school musical. Will: "Who knew that Rocky Horror was so important to both of us?" But you know what's not important to both of them? That's right, professionalism. Emma reminds Will that Rocky Horror is kind of overly sexy for a high school cast and audience. Will, who has clearly not thought about that, tells her that he'll make some edits. Emma: "I'm thinking you're going to have to edit the whole thing out if you're going to get Sue and Figgins to sign off on it." Even though her sandwich is only half eaten, Emma leaves, clearly eager to get away from the sad and pathetic man that Will has become. Black-and-orange Halloween title card.
Music room. Kurt asks Brit-Brit what she's going to be for Halloween. Brit: "A peanut allergy." There's no chance for Kurt to follow up on that koan, as Will walks in and tells them, "this week's musical lesson isn't really a lesson." Is it ever? Instead, it's just a musical. Rachel immediately starts praying, "please be Evita, please be Evita, please be Evita," but her prayers are in vain -- the show is Rocky Horror. A number of the kids seem to actually know what that is and to be happy. Rachel and Kurt both point out that the sexual nature of the show is sure to raise a firestorm. Will tells them that he thinks the point of the arts is "pushing boundaries." And he has permission slips they have to get signed by their parents before they can perform in his bowdlerized version of the show. He offers further temptation by telling them that they'll charge admission and use the money to pay for transportation to Nationals. Which come after Sectionals and Regionals, which they really should be thinking about, but I guess those are the kinds of details you just don't have to worry about when you're the fourth place team from the Midwest Regionals.
They discuss casting, and Rachel immediately declares that she and Finn will play Brad and Janet. And Artie knows that Will's lack of imagination means that he'll be playing "the guy in the wheelchair," also known as Dr. Scott. Will suggests that Kurt play Frank-n-Furter, but Kurt has his own little homosexual panic at the idea: "There is no way I'm playing a transvestite in high heels and fishnets and wearing lipstick." So Mike Chang volunteers. And you know we all want to see him in the costume. Will tells them that because there are so few female roles in the show, they'll have to double up on some of the roles. Rachel tells the girls who will not get a role of their own (which is all of them except her), "It's standard practice on Broadway. It'll preserve your voices." Mercedes: "I'd like to preserve you. In a jar. In my basement." Will offers the role of the creature, a.k.a., Rocky, to Sam. He's confused (having never seen the show), until Quinn explains that he's a Frankenstein's-monster type character, but blond and with a hot body. Santana taunts Sam about the need to work out, and he tells her that he has absolutely no problem showing off his body. A fact for which we are all eternally grateful. And this is where Mark Salling's name comes up in the credits and I realize he's not in the music room. I guess Puck is still in juvie.
Auditorium. Rachel is taking Finn scene-by-scene through the script and explaining what's going on. He's as confused as you would expect, but she tells him to just roll with it. And then she gets to the scene in which Brad and Janet have been taken to the lab, where their wet clothes are removed. Finn realizes he'll have to be performing in his underwear and freaks out. Because he has body image problems. I put some emphasis on that for the slower members of the audience. He doesn't want people to see his body because he thinks his body is sub-standard. Rachel tries to reassure him that she thinks he's hot, just the way he thinks she's hot even though her body is different from Santana's or Brit-Brit's. Finn smiles and hugs her, but he's clearly not convinced.
Yay! It's a newscast with Emmy-award-winning anchor Rod Remington! Co-anchor Andrea is just finishing up a story about the "zoo's first Unitarian chimp wedding in over six years." But the picture they show is of a couple of macacques in tux and wedding gown. I hope the bride and groom don't fight over who gets to eat the flowers in the bride's veil. And then Rod throws it over to Sue's Corner: "Thanks, Rod. You know, Halloween is fast approaching. The day when parents encourage little boys to dress like little girls and little girls to dress like whores and to go door-to-door browbeating hardworking Americans into giving them free food. Well you know what, western Ohio? We've lost the true meaning of Halloween. Fear! Halloween is that magical time of the year when a child is told their grandmother is a demon who's been feeding them rat casserole with a crunchy garnish of their own scabs. Children must know fear. Without it, they won't know how to behave. They'll try frenching grizzly bears or consider living in Florida. So moms? Skip trick or treating this year. And instead, sit your little toddler down and explain that daddy's a hungry zombie, and before he went out to sharpen his pitchfork, he whispered to mommy that you look delicious. And that's how Sue 'C's it." As the newscast finishes, Sue strides through the backstage area. She passes Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick dressed in black suits. They look at each other and nod.
Sue's office. She's carving a jack-o-lantern when Meatloaf and Barry B. walk into her office. It turns out that they're the new station managers, and they have ideas. Meatloaf: "You see, good news is about information, but great news is about fear." They start listing the things you can use the news to make people fear: killer bees, terrorists, Mexicans, Mexican terrorists, ants, and Mexican terrorist ants. They've got Sue's interest. And also the interest of her jack-o-lantern, which it turns out is a self-portrait. Meatloaf and Barry B. have heard rumors about the Rocky Horror plans at McKinley. Meatloaf asks if Sue knows the show. Sue: "When I was younger, I took my sister to the show. The audience was so enraged at having a disabled person in their midst, you know what they did? They threw toast at us." Barry B. has an impulse to point out Sue's error, but he quashes it in the name of journalistic integrity. Sue asks if they want her to shut down the production. What they really want is for it to go forward and for Sue to do an exposé on the production -- they think it might even lead to a local Emmy. She's in. Commercials.
Music room. Will wants them to start rehearsal with the first number, which is "Damn It, Janet!." As Finn and Rachel get up, Santana and Brit-Brit are excited that the whole school will get to see Finn's body -- not because they think it's hot, but because he eats a sloppy joe for lunch everyday, which they think means he's a sloppy mess. And shouldn't Santana already know for sure, having had sex with him and all? In any case, Rachel thinks Santana and Brit are being rude, but Quinn points out that guys talk about girls' bodies all the time, so it's fine if there's a little turnabout. And Santana tells us that just that day, Artie made a crass comment about her slightly enlarged breasts. Busted, Artie. Try to stop being such a pig. Brit, continuing with the objectification, talks about how excited she is to see Sam in his "gold bikini." He tells them all it'll be "ab-ulous." And then Will calls them to order so rehearsal can start. Finn and Rachel are in semi-costume, as are backup singers Quinn (as Magenta), Kurt (as Riff Raff), and Mercedes (as Columbia). This is not a great song, but I do think it's a good performance. Finn in particular totally nails Brad's absolute dorkiness. Really, he should play nothing but dorks who can't dance. And I love the complete lack of interest on the kids singing backup. But we don't get to hear the entire song, because Sue enters the room and calls Will out to the hallway.
Will follows Sue into the hallway. He thinks she's there to bust him, and at first it seems like she is. But she tells him that she thinks pushing boundaries is important, and she wants the show to go forward. She even wants to be involved. Will invites her to play the role of the criminologist. She agrees to take the role, and mentions rewrites. Will is confused (of course). Sue: "It says right here in my contract that I get final script approval. And I wouldn't fight it, Will. I'm a notary public."
It's the locker room set, redressed as a weight room. Sam is doing some... exercise, on a machine where Finn is lamely trying to do the same exercise. Sam recites his insanely strict diet to Finn, who can't believe that the listed items are all he eats. Sam: "Ain't no carpool lane to sexy." And the lifts his shirt just to show us what sexy looks like. Artie's in the corner doing bicep curls, and he gives Sam a "damn straight." Finn notes that he used to not care how he looked, and he wonders when guys started to become obsessed with their appearance. Artie blames internet porn, since women could now get porn easily. As a result, their brain chemistry was altered so that they think like men. Finn asks Sam if it doesn't get exhausting to be so obsessed with food and exercise. Sam: "Naw. I mean, if I miss a workout or eat a hot dog, I hate myself for a few days." But he's resigned himself to having to look super hot to keep his job on a show watched by women and gay men... I mean, to be cool and seal the deal with Quinn. Sam and Artie both think that if Finn looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy on stage, his popularity will plummet. Since that's a semi-monthly occurrence, I figured he'd be used to it by now.
Emma's office. She is precisely measuring the location of every item on her desk while Will tells her that he thinks maybe Sue's been a bully because she just really wants to be included in the world of the arts. Emma gets a look on her face that makes me think she's starting to understand how very stupid Will is. And then he asks Emma to be the costume designer for the show, and she goes from dubious to excited in half a second. I don't care if Emma is the costume designer --- Sue's still to blame. Will mentions that they'll have to spend a lot of time together, and Emma tells him it's a dream come true. By which she means the costume designing, not the spending time with him. And then Mike Chang sticks his head into Emma's office and tells Will that his parents are making him pull out of the show due to their own unaddressed transphobia.
I just have to say, dangling the prospect of seeing Mike Chang in Frank-n-Furter's bustier and fishnets and then snatching it away? Not cool, show. Not cool.
Sue's office. Sue, dressed in a red tracksuit with white stripes and a stop watch, tells Becky, also dressed in a red tracksuit with white stripes and a stop watch, "That is the best Halloween costume I've ever seen." There's just one detail missing -- Sue hands Becky her bullhorn and tells her, "Go scream at some fatties." And then she brags about her expectations of winning a local Emmy, to which Becky gives her two thumbs up. Becky leaves and Will enters. He's there to tell Sue that they've lost their Frank-n-Furter and have no replacement, so the show is cancelled. Over the commercial break, Sue will think of some step that can save her precious local Emmy.
Emma's office. Emma and Hot Dentist Carl are looking at the pieces of his Frank-n-Furter Halloween costume. I'll forgive them for the Mike Chang debacle if we get to see Hot Dentist Carl dressed as Frank-n-Furter. Sue (in a different tracksuit) walks by and is outraged when she sees Hot Dentist Carl holding the bustier and panties up against his body. Sue tells them to take their sex games out of the school. Sue: "I should have known. People who dress like librarians? All sex addicts." But that's just because librarians are all sex addicts. Emma and Hot Dentist Carl explain that it's all for Halloween. When Sue hears that Hot Dentist Carl knows all the Rocky Horror songs and can sing, she pretends to have a pain in her chest. Which is just her way of spinning a line about how she's heartbroken that the school provides insufficient support for the arts, which somehow leads to Sue claiming that 70% of all of the teeth at McKinley High are wooden. Hot Dentist Carl asks what he can do to help, and Sue gives him an appraising look.
Music room. Emma, Hot Dentist Carl, and Sue are there. They've clearly just made some kind of proposal to Will, but he doesn't understand it. Hot Dentist Carl tries simpler words: "Well, you guys have a hole to fill, and I'm just trying to help fill it." Santana (sitting in the background): "Wanky!" Emma: "Santana!" Will tells Hot Dentist Carl that he'd have to try out. Just like everybody else. So he sings "Whatever Happened to Saturday Night," (which is not called "Hot Patootie," internet). He's no Meatloaf, but he's not bad. And the kids get into it and start dancing around, all while Will looks deeply upset that his plans are being foiled. (And for those who are interested, when all the kids pair up to dance together, Brit and Santana pick each other.) Everyone (except Will) is clapping at the end, but Sue's not happy: "For this musical to continue, we need a Frank-n-Furter, not Eddie. Eddie was eliminated in my rewrites." Will grasps at this straw and challenges Hot Dentist Carl to sing a Frank-n-Furter song. But Hot Dentist Carl thinks that while it's fine to wear Frank's bustier in the privacy of his own home (a thought that makes Emma's eyes glow), he thinks it would be pretty inappropriate for him to wear it on a high school stage.
"At least if I play Eddie, I won't have to grind up against the students." Santana raises her hand to volunteer for that, and Mercedes gently lowers it back down. But Hot Dentist Carl thinks that if they add Eddie back to the script, he'll get to show his support for the arts. Will looks like he wants resort to fisticuffs to settle this question, but Mercedes cuts off the grown-up discussion. (Which is a good thing for Will, because I'm fairly confident Hot Dentist Carl could kick his ass.) It turns out that Mercedes would like to play Frank. She's inspired by Rocky Horror's command, "Don't dream it, be it." Since it's her dream to play a lead role, and since she knows Rachel will stab her with a pair of scissors if she ever tries to take a female lead away from her, this is her big chance. The other kids look happy at the idea. Will takes a while to answer, so Sue answers for him by congratulating him on finding a Frank and an Eddie in one casting session. Commercials.
Will and Emma are sitting in the auditorium, with Mike Chang a couple of rows behind them. It's apparently dress rehearsal? I have no idea what that means in the context of a show that they're apparently able to stage in a week's time. Anyway, the curtain comes up and we're in the lab. So it's the scene in which Finn and Rachel are supposed to strip to their skivvies, but Finn asks if they can please hold off on that until opening night. And Sam, who's wearing a very short pair of gold lamé shorts, asks if he could have a longer pair, since he's worried about flashing his "nuttage." (The shorts he's wearing are not as short or as tight as the ones from the movie. Which is a damn shame.) Will tells them that these costume issues have to wait -- they need to get on with rehearsal.
So they start. Which means that the elevator (which they somehow constructed in the last few days) descends, bearing Mercedes as Frank-n-Furter. Rachel-as-Janet faints, and then Mercedes sings "Sweet Transvestite." She's no Tim Curry (then again, nowadays Tim Curry's no Tim Curry), and there are mysterious lyric changes, and it's overall a more Motown sounding rendition of the song. But I don't have any real problems with the singing. What I do have problems with his the way Mercedes pronounces "transvestite." She hits that first 'r' so hard, it sounds like she's talking about a hypnotic, sleeveless sweater that's a little bit snug. (FYI, she's wearing a skirt instead of panties. But she does rock the bustier.) In this scene, Kurt is Riff Raff, Santana is Magenta, and Brit-Brit is Columbia (and the likeness on the last one is astounding). And as the song finishes and Mercedes ascends in her elevator, Hot Dentist Carl and his motorcycle break through the back wall of the stage, several scenes too early. Which pisses Will off and makes Emma moist.
Will's classroom. (I know, right? It's easy to forget he's actually a teacher). He's rearranging desks when Emma walks in. He asked to see her to tell her there's a problem with the show, and that problem's name is Hot Dentist Carl. Emma, looking like someone just stole her puppy (or maybe looking like a puppy that's just been stolen), tells Will that she thought Hot Dentist Carl was perfect. But Will says that the problem is what Hot Dentist Carl said during his audition, which made him think that maybe they shouldn't be having kids play some of the sexier roles. Or something. We flash sideways to Sam and Will, in the locker room (where Sam is dressed, to our dismay), where Will tells Sam that the role of Rocky is just too adult for him. Sam's kind of relieved, and asks who will play it. Flash back to the classroom, where we learn that Will's decided that he, Will Schuester himself, will play Rocky. Because it's fine if he grinds up on students.
Emma looks doubtful, and even more so when Will tells her that he'd like her help rehearsing, since he's not as familiar with the show as she is. So he asks for her help with "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me." Which, if I recall, is a song in which Rocky has to say a single word. Odd choice, that. But considering what's coming, I'm not complaining. Just as Will turns on the music, we see that Santana and Brit-Brit are just outside the window, peering in over the windowsill. Which puts them in the perfect position to sing the Magenta and Columbia lines from the song (since those two have lines in the song only because they're spying on Janet and Rocky over closed-circuit television). Again, the song is fine. It's not like Susan Sarandon set an enormously high bar for musical skill on this one, and Emma's voice really does match her in pitch. But the highlight is when Emma rips Will's shirt off. And talk about ab-ulous. Will is smokin', is what I'm saying. And, just as we learned last season, these two have incredible chemistry. And Emma totally gets into the song, including shoving everything off Will's desk and writhing around on it, and finishing with an orgasmic gasp and a firm grip on Will's pec. And then she runs out of the room. Let's all take the commercial break to cool off.
Weight room. Finn is alone and struggling to press a weight that is about to crush his larynx when Sam rushes in and saves him. They have a talk about body image, in which Sam complains that he felt fat in those little shorts, up on that stage. If Sam feels fat, you know that's a serious body image problem. Sam thinks he was replaced as Rocky because he complained about the costume, which makes Finn worried that he'll also be replaced. Sam tells him not to worry, since the role of Brad isn't about looking hot, it's about feeling confident, "no matter how douchey you are." Sam tells Finn that if he's just himself, "the sexiness will flow through." I really hope that's a scene that got edited out of the McKinley version of Rocky Horror. Sam has given Finn a lot to think about: "Yeah, you're right. I don't need to hide behind my muscles like you do." Sam: "Awesome. I think. Are you insulting me?" He'll have to figure that out on his own, because Finn is leaving "to show everyone how hot and sexy I am." We get one last gratuitous shot of Sam checking out his own abs in the mirror.
In the auditorium, they're rehearsing the scene in which everyone has discovered that they had sex with everyone else, which consists of the characters of Janet, Brad, Frank, Dr. Scott, and Rocky just saying other characters' names in an accusatory and/or guilty tone of voice (except for Rocky, who just growls). Finn's not there, so Will is running back and forth playing both Rocky and Brad. All of this while Sue sits in the criminologist's armchair and talks about how preposterous the play is. She appears to be in costume, by the way -- a slightly looser black and gold tracksuit with an ascot. Rachel complains that it's pointless to rehearse without Finn, but Will notes that Finn's late and isn't answering his cell phone. He also asks Sue to please stop interjecting her opinions during rehearsal. Sue: "Opinions? These are my rewrites." Then Maharishi Figgins enters the auditorium and calls out to Will.
Maharishi's Pagoda of Punishment. Finn's there, and Figgins has just told Will that Finn is suspended. Why, you (and Will) ask? Because he decided to show everyone how sexy and confident he was by walking down the hallway in his boxer shorts. Flash sideways, where we see that he was also wearing sneakers and his Brad glasses. The kids aren't acting like they think he's sexy. More like he's an object of fear and/or ridicule. The topper comes from Azimio and Karofsky, who joke about the old man nature of his underwear. Back in the Maharishi's office, Figgins says that he's leaning towards a one-month suspension. Will asks for Finn to leave so he can speak with Figgins alone. After Finn leaves, Will tells Figgins that it's no crime to come to rehearsal in costume. Figgins: "Nine children have already signed up for after school therapy. I had to bring in a grief counselor." Will whips out some precedent, reminding Figgins that when Santana pantsed Brit-Brit after the Cheerios won Nationals, Brit wasn't suspended even though she was wearing a lot less than underwear. Figgins backs the punishment down to a warning. And then he tells Will that if there's any blowback from the show, Figgins won't be able to protect him. Which means Glee Club is at risk: "And I want to be sure that whatever you're doing it for, it's worth it."
And that brings us back to the beginning. Finn and Rachel singing, Hot Dentist Carl bursts in and... action! Hot Dentist Carl knows all about Will's "rehearsal" with Emma, and he's pissed off because Will broke his promise to back off. He starts to storm off stage, and Will asks him if he's quitting as Eddie. But Hot Dentist Carl is a man who follows through on his promises, so he's not quitting the show.
Will's in his office working on some sheet music when Becky, wearing her Sue costume, walks in. She's there to trick-or-treat, and she's got the plastic pumpkin to prove it. Will apologizes for forgetting that the club of which Becky is a member was going to be begging for candy in the school, and he doesn't have anything. He blames his forgetfulness on the fact that he's been working so hard on Rocky Horror. Becky declares the show to be an abomination, which raises Will's eyebrows, and he asks her to repeat herself. Becky tells him that she's just repeating what Sue said in her tape. Which is in Sue's office, and which Becky helpfully offers to show to Will.
In Sue's darkened office, Will and Becky watch a pre-taped "Sue's Corner" segment. It's basically just her talking about this awful production going on at a public school. She makes two legitimate points, though. First, that art that exists only to push boundaries (as opposed to art that pushes boundaries in the service of reaching a higher goal) is usually bad art. And also that's there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep kids sheltered a little bit. As the piece finishes, Becky turns to Will: "Give me some chocolate, or I will cut you." Commercials.
So now we're at the part of that comes in every Will episode -- the part where Will apologizes to everyone for being a douche and claims to learn a lesson that he will have forgotten by the Will episode. He starts with Sue. He accosts her in the teachers' lounge, accusing her of setting him up by pushing the show and then planning to rip it apart on air. She tells him the piece is set to air on opening night (which is why she pre-taped it, when every other "Sue's Corner" has been live). She asks him if anything she said was unreasonable. He stammers for a moment and then acknowledges that she's right. And then he cancels the show. Which is not the kind of victory Sue wanted.
Will and Emma sit on the stage of the empty auditorium. He confesses that he only tried to do Rocky Horror to get close to her. And he apologizes, and promises "never to abuse our feelings for each other again." He also acknowledges that Hot Dentist Carl is good for her, and tells her that since he really loves her, he knows he needs to back off and let her be with Carl -- at least for now. She asks him what he's going to tell the kids, and he just sighs.
Music room. Will apologizes to the kids for putting them through all the work for nothing, and especially apologizes to Finn and Sam for making them feel bad about their bodies. Oh, hey, Sam was asked to be June in the "Men of McKinley High" calendar. Get your orders in now! Will tells the kids that he's to blame. No, Sue's to blame. Didn't he read the credits? Will tells the kids that Rocky Horror was never about pushing boundaries, it was a show about outcasts -- or, at least the midnight shows were about that. Which makes him realize it's a perfect show for the Glee Club. Santana, the brains of the operation, asks why they're not doing it if it's a show about and/or for outcasts. Will tells them that they still will do the show, but just for themselves. I really hope that he donates his brain to science when he dies. Things in there have got to be very complicated.
And then we see the kids perform "Time Warp." Kurt is great as Riff Raff, although he only gets to sing a portion of the lead in the song; the big shouty lines get shifted to Finn. Quinn gets all of Magenta's lines, while Santana is a silent Magenta in the background. And Brit and Tina split Columbia's solo bit. And while Brit totally nails the look of Little Nell, Tina captures the spastic nature of her tap-dancing. Oh, and Mike Chang is dancing as Eddie. Even though Eddie's not in this scene. And someone gave Sam longer shorts and a gold lamé muscle shirt. It's a crime against humanity!
LTG is a full-time pension attorney and a part-time knitter of hypnotic sweater vests. You can reach him at ltg.jon@gmail.com.
Featuring "Science Fiction Double Feature," "Damn It, Janet!," "Sweet Transvestite," "Whatever Happened to Saturday Night," "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me," "Over at the Frankenstein Place," and "Time Warp."
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Watch more performances from this week's episode.
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