Glee TV Show - Original Song - Glee Recaps, Glee Reviews, Glee Episodes | TWoP

Recapped by LTG · Aired 2011-03-15

The episode opens on a bunch of bored Swallows, studying in the Dalton Academy Wood-Paneled Multi-Purpose Room. Suddenly, Blaine bursts through the doors, throws two handfuls of paper into the air, and starts singing Maroon 5's "Misery." They all start singing along, except for Kurt, who looks to be completely over this place. The party eventually moves out into some corridor/foyer type space, with Blaine dragging Kurt along for the ride -- a move that just accentuates how short Blaine is. Eventually, Kurt gets off his throne and joins in the dancing and singing in a totally half-assed way. As the song finishes, Blaine announces that this will be their opening number for Regionals. As the crowd breaks up, Blaine reminds the audience that Kurt, as the newest Swallow, is responsible for caring for the team's mascot, Pavarotti the canary, by praising the Burberry-esque cage cozy that Kurt found for the bird. He also asks Kurt what he thought of the song. Kurt, after asking for permission to drop an honesty bomb, tells him that as good as Blaine is, he's getting tired of singing backup for Blaine in every single song. Judging by the look on Blaine's face, that honesty bomb was more of an ego-seeking cruise missile. Title card.

McKinley Non-Academy music room. Rachel leads Finn into the room, telling him that she took all of his notes about "My Headband," and that for her second song she really dove deep into the source of her pain. And then, with Tinkles accompanying her, she sings a song about how awful it is that she'll never need bunk beds and that she's the only Berry on her family tree. After repeating the line "only child" about a million times, she finishes the song and tells Finn, "It's called 'Only Child.'" Finn demonstrates his absolute bad taste by telling her it's better than "My Headband," and then tells her that it still feels like she's just playing around, and that she still needs to get to the really difficult kind of pain in order to write a good song. As the two of them debate, we see them from a distance. Which is when we realize that Quinn is watching them from the doorway.

And now the camera will start to follow Quinn around, as she gives us a voice-over: "Sometimes I worry about Finn. I mean, how damaged does a guy have to be to be into someone as annoying as Rachel? Still, he is a good guy, and I do really like him. He's my first love, and first loves are forever. And another thing -- without him, I'm never gonna get one of these." And with that, the camera cuts to her opening a display case holding a massive collection of tiaras on velvet pillows. Either those are all the crowns her mother has ever won, or Quinn has flown off and broken into the Tower of London. Quinn's V.O. notes how stupid it is for her to want to be prom queen: "You're smart, and super pretty, and relatively sane for a girl." But damn it, she does care about becoming prom queen. "Prom queens live, on average, five years longer than regular people." But to win, she needs to have Finn on her arm, since he's a shoo-in to win prom king after bringing home the football championship. Which means she needs to ensure that Finn doesn't go back to dating Rachel. As we cut back to her staring at Finn and Rachel in the music room, she tells us that she's decided to play it cool by keeping Rachel, her enemy, closer than her friends.

By LTG

Music Room, where Mercedes is just launching into the beginning of her impassioned anthem, "Hell to the No." The song kicks ass -- really danceable, fun, and infectious. But at the end, Will notes that as amazing as the song is, it's not quite ready for Regionals. I think he could have been clearer by noting that the song is just a little too personal for most people to get. For example, when people who don't know Mercedes hear her sing the line "they tried to take away my tots," they may think she's singing about some conflict she had as an unwed mother with child protective services. In any case, Santana is ready to jump into the breach with another verse of "Trouty Mouth." Will stomps on my dreams by rejecting that offering. Instead, he asks the kids, "What's your favorite song of all time." Brit-Brit: "'My Headband.'" Santana: "Alanis Morisette's 'You Oughta Know.'" Puck: "'What's Going On,' Marvin Gaye." Will asks what all those songs are about. Brit: "Headbands." Ignoring that, Will points out that the best songs all come from a place of pain. He tells them to get in touch with their own hurt. Artie: "That should be easy. Coach Sylvester tortures us for no reason, and tries to get the entire school to hate us." In addition to the locker-dirtening we've seen already, Mercedes tells Will, "She literally throws sticks at me." Smear sideways to Mercedes getting books out of her locker while Sue throws small twigs and branches at her head. Back in the music room, Tina tells Will, "She called the Ohio Secretary of State saying she was me and saying I wanted to legally change my name to Tina Cohen-Loser." While the kids are speaking, Will has written the words "dirt," "sticks," and "loser" on the whiteboard. He asks the kids how this abuse makes them feel. Finn: "At first, it hurts. But then it mostly makes you want to win." Will thinks they have the beginnings of a song forming.

By LTG

Auditorium stage. Quinn is noodling away on the piano when Rachel walks up and asks if they're friends. Quinn guesses that, you know, maybe they might possibly be friends, except for all those times Quinn is intensely hating on Rachel. Rachel thinks the fact that Quinn gave her baby to Rachel's mother might make them friends. I think it actually makes them more like weird post-modern aunt and niece. The point of all this is that Rachel thought the two of them were close enough to be honest with each other, and then she asks if Quinn is dating Finn. To her credit Quinn, tells the truth, and then asks how long it will be before Rachel realizes it would never work out between Rachel and Finn. Rachel: "Don't go and try to rewrite history, okay? It was real between us. He chose me over you." Quinn asks how long that lasted before Finn chose Quinn again. Rachel asks why Quinn is being so mean. So Quinn tells Rachel that Quinn and Finn belong in Lima, but that Rachel needs to get out of town to make her future. So really, all this cruelty is really a kindness, and she expects Rachel to thank her when she wins her first Grammy or Tony. Rachel refuses to give up on Finn, but Quinn tells her it will never happen. And then she accuses her of living "in this little school girl fantasy of life," which is why she can't write a decent song. "If you keep looking for that happy ending, then you are never gonna get it right." And with that, Quinn wants to get back to their song writing. But Rachel would rather write on her own. She walks off in tears.

Cut to her in her bedroom, crying on her bed and writing "Get It Right." (Which is different than "Do It Right," which is what I called it in the recaplet. Whoops.) Commercials.

Almost time for Regionals. Will is in his office putting on his tie when Sue enters and asks him if he's about to load up the bus and head off to the competition. These competitions are on the weekend, right? So why is Will getting dressed in his office? Anyway, Sue is so confident about her victory that she decides to come clean with Will -- she forged the cease-and-desist letter from My Chemical Romance. "Also, I didn't sleep with their drummer. The drummer I slept with was that guy from Jimmy Eat World." Huh. Good for you, Zach Lind. But Will isn't angry, because it pushed the club to write original songs that he thinks are good enough to win the competition. Sue tells Will that she's prepared a set list that is custom-made for the panel of judges they have. And really, does Will ever even bother to do any work to prepare for these competitions?

By LTG

On stage, the three teams wait for the results, which will be announced by the wife of the lieutenant governor. A blowzy alcoholic takes the stage and drunkenly tells the crowd, "My husband is verbally abusive and I have been drinking since noon." And then she announces the results -- it's New Directions! They celebrate and take their giant trophy. And then Sue punches the lieutenant governor's wife. Okay then.

Blaine shovels some dirt into the grave of Pavarotti, who has the most jewel-encrusted casket and tombstone since Liberace's poodle. Blaine and Kurt are the only two Swallows to attend the funeral. Kurt is weepy, and lays a rose across Pavarotti's grave. Blaine has the presence of mind to realize that the bird funeral reminds Kurt of his mother's funeral. Kurt: "The casket was bigger, but yes." Was it also jewel-encrusted? But what Kurt's really upset about is that they lost. Blaine notes that they'll still get to perform together, but Kurt really wanted to win. Blaine: "You did win. So did I. We got each other out of all this. That beats a lousy trophy, don't you think?" And with that, they take hands and walk away from the grave.

Music room. Will enters, talking on the phone with Holly Holiday, who is at some sweat lodge somewhere. He hangs up and tells the kids that Holly will congratulate them all in person when she's back from her vision quest. And then Will announces that the team unanimously voted and awarded the MVP prize to Rachel. And she gives a teary speech about how happy she is to finally not be totally hated. And with a group hug, we launch into a hiatus until April.

LTG lives in Boston, where he's a full-time pension attorney and a part-time stripper pole polisher. You can reach him at ltg.jon@gmail.com.