In Ohio: This week's improbable and soon-to-be-forgotten drama erupts when Mr. Schue announces they'll be competing at Nationals against a group of deeply committed aggravations collectively known as "Throat Explosion," who model themselves of course upon the most annoying human being on the entire planet. Chaos and lousy performance art ensue as the kiddies must decide how far they're willing to go in pursuit of their dreams, or some such bullshit, until Principal Sylvester suspends them all for dressing like idiots, because Sue's suddenly become the only sane person in that entire damn high school.
In New York: St. Gay Of Lima finally starts getting a subplot of his very own this season as he gathers together vocalists for his long-promised Madonna cover band that actually turns out to be not a Madonna cover band at all, because...I don't know. Nor do I care, really. In any event, after easily recruiting Old Idiot Rachel, Santana Lopez, and Demi Lovato as backup singers, St. Gay Of Lima goes off in search of additional musicians via a personals ad in The Village Voice, because St. Gay Of Lima has never heard of Craigslist, apparently, and everyone is very sad, indeed, when only one person signs up because no one reads the goddamned personals ads in the goddamned Village Voice anymore. Fortunately, that one person is Adam Lambert, who proves to be immensely entertaining despite the dreadful musical selections forced upon him this evening, and it looks like St. Gay's made a new friend. Who will likely disappear after a couple of episodes with no explanation whatsoever because Adam Lambert's just a guest star this season, but whatever.
Featuring "Marry The Night" and "Applause" by Little Steffi Germanotta, the former performed by Glamberace, and the latter performed by Artie, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen, Dreamboat Blaine, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel, and The Only Finn Left Standing; and "Wide Awake" and "Roar" from Little Kathy Hudson, the former performed by New Puck, Single-T Tina, Urethra Franklin, and Pretty Kitty, and the latter performed by just about everybody in the cast.