By Demian
As graduation now looms for a still-confusing number of Glee Clubbers, Will takes it upon himself to start worrying about the future for Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana Lopez, none of whom has committed to an acceptable post-high school plan as of yet. Following the sage advice of the freshly-helpful Sue, and with the knowledge that this year's Nationals features a "Vintage" theme, Mr. Schue announces "The First Annual McKinley High Saturday Night Fever Dance Contest." The competition -- whose winner will receive a replica of the iconic white suit Travolta wore, as painstakingly hand-crafted by Miss Becky Jackson -- is officially meant to get the children used to performing songs that have been around for longer than two weeks, even though they used to do shit like that all the time. However, the contest's actual goal is to force Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana Lopez to confess their hopes and dreams to their peers through the magic of Disco, like that's really gonna help anyone.
Naturally, complications ensue, as Frankenteen's still wrapped up in all that tiresome marriage bullshit with Idiot Rachel, and Mercedes feels she might not have what it takes to make it in the music business and Santana craves nothing more from life than a celebutard level of fame. But eventually, and with the help of various friends and romantic partners, they all agree to settle themselves down and go to college. Even though Dumbass Finn thinks he's going to matriculate at The Actors Studio, which isn't a school, but whatever. Everybody ends up happy, which I suppose is the only thing that matters.
With the main bulk of the episode divided pretty much evenly amongst those three, there's little room left for other developments, though Glee does somehow manage to mash some in anyway. Puck's already drawn up a business plan for his "Noah's Ark Pool Cleaning Service" out in Los Angeles, St. Gay Of Lima and Mercedes find themselves mentoring a transgendered teen -- yes, you read that right -- from their archrivals over at Carmel High, and somehow, when nobody was looking, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen became the hottest guy on this show. Go figure.
Featuring an expectedly Bee Gees-heavy musical lineup that includes "You Should Be Dancing," as performed by Dreamboat Blaine, Gaylord Wiener, and Brit-Brit; "Night Fever," as performed by the eminent Mr. Schue with an assist from Dreamboat Blaine and New Guy With Gross Hair Whose Name I Can't Remember; The Trammps' "Disco Inferno," as performed by Mercedes with appropriate backup provided by Santana Lopez and Brittany; Mary Magdalene's "If I Can't Have You," as performed by Santana alone; "How Deep Is Your Love," as performed by Idiot Rachel, with vocal help coming from the usually-mute members of the McKinley High Jazz Ensemble; KC And The Sunshine Band's "Boogie Shoes," as performed by Vocal Adrenaline at their own Regionals competition; "More Than A Woman," as supposedly performed by Frankenteen, even though everyone knows there's no way in hell he can pull off a falsetto like that, with backup from Dreamboat Blaine, St. Gay Of Lima, Brit-Brit, Santana Lopez, Gaylord Wiener, and Single-T Tina; and "Stayin' Alive," as performed by Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana, with an eventual assist from nearly every single other goddamned cast member on the show.