By Demian
Tonight on Bad Idea Theatre:
Two gunshots go off somewhere near the choir room right in the middle of a Regionals rehearsal, throwing the entire school into a more-or-less silent lockdown that stretches across a full ten minutes of uninterrupted screentime while several people we don't particularly care about slowly lose their minds. And when it's all over, Coach Sylvester eventually steps forward with the outrageous claim that she accidentally discharged a firearm she lately purchased for protection, whereupon she is promptly booted from the faculty by a deeply disappointed Maharishi. In a shocking turn of events, however, we learn that Sue's merely taking the fall for butterfingered Becky, the latter of whom swiped the actual weapon in question from her father's massive stash due to that fathomless terror she's apparently been battling ever since the most recent spate of mass murders in this country, even though Becky looked totally fine the last time we saw her. So Miss Jackson gets a total pass, I suppose, while Coach Sylvester heads off to New York to take over for Katie Finneran in the latest revival of Annie on Broadway. Fun!
In other news, Brittany thinks a massive comet's about to destroy the planet, Lord Tubbington acquires a lady friend from the local animal shelter, Will condescends to The Beiste, and New Finn gets stood up by his secret online admirer.
Not featuring Julie Brown's "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun," or "I Don't Like Mondays" from The Boomtown Rats, or even Kinky Friedman's "The Ballad Of Charles Whitman," for Christ's sake. This evening's musical selections do, however, include "One In A Million" by The Platters, as performed by The Platters; Elton John's "Your Song," as performed by New Finn; Extreme's "More Than Words," as performed by Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen and Brittany, with accompaniment from a few of the other children in The New New Directions; and John Mayer's "Say," as performed by most of the kiddies at the end of the episode.