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Since Friday Night Dinners have been "officially reinstated," we're jumping right into the one. Everyone is on their best behavior as Lorelai tries to break the ice. "The roses look amazing, Mom," she says, complimenting the centerpiece. Rory agrees that they are nice. Richard, too, comments that Emily has a way with flowers. Lorelai can't let a good thing go, and jokily gives everybody a "well done!" for their civil behavior after last week's FND craziness. She tells everyone to keep up the niceness but, if you'll pardon the pun, the bloom is off the rose. Richard awkwardly tries to segue into a discussion about Yale before being smart-assily sideswiped by Emily, who says she wasn't aware they were allowed to talk about Yale. "Oh no," Richard smirks. "We're allowed to talk about it, we're just not allowed to pay for it." This has to be the only documented instance in reality or fiction of people being angry that they get to KEEP tens of thousands of dollars per year. The Grandparents continue to smart-ass about Yale, and Lorelai has to put the kibosh on it. She says that of course they can talk about Yale, since it is Richard's alma mater and Rory's school; it's just that maybe, right now, it's not the best subject. She tries to start the whole conversation over with a countdown: "And five, four, three, two...these roses look amazing, Mom." Gamely, Richard repeats his earlier comment about Emily missing her calling as an arranger, but Lorelai just can't be satisfied with anything, and tells him that it's not necessary to have a verbatim repeat. "Lorelai," he says, "this is my house. I should have some control over what goes on here, at some point." Exactly, Grandpa. No wonder you drink. These damn women have got to be exhausting.
Emily chastises Richard for raising his voice. He denies it, and she says that, in fact, he is raising his voice to her. "Well," he says, glancing at Rory, "I'm not allowed to raise it to the people who deserve it." Lorelai panics and does another countdown after which Richard musters all his effort into changing the subject, shouting, "I LOVE SHRIMP. WHO ELSE LOVES SHRIMP?" With impeccable timing, Rory shouts, "Me!" and Lorelai happily says she's also a fan. "This is ridiculous," Richard says, and Emily takes over, asking Lorelai how Luke is doing. "Nice one, Mom," Lorelai says proudly of Emily's conversation-changing skills. Except Emily actually wants to know about Luke. And how he's doing. And the date for their wedding. And why she has not received a save-the-date card. And if she needs a dress. And...everything. Under pressure, Lorelai blurts that the wedding will be June 3rd. Rory gives her mother a worried look, but Emily has already moved on: "June 3rd...that's very soon." She asks pointedly if there is any specific reason it's so soon. "Oh, boy," Lorelai groans as her mother continues repeating the date and commenting on how soon it is. She says that they have not seen Luke in a long time and that it's important that they get together with him before the wedding. Lorelai tries to stall, but to no avail. Emily insists that Lorelai bring him to dinner Friday. The browbeat is so strong, Lorelai looks close to bugging out, and to calm her, Rory gives her a countdown as we go into the credits.
“ Rory starts her speech. Unfortunately for those of us who were just starting to tolerate Rory again, she makes it all about herself. ”
Rory finds Paris in her bunker on the phone with Mr. Weisner, an angry advertiser. She placates the guy and, when Rory comes in, complains about the editorship being a 24/7 job. She says that Weisner was threatening to withhold money he had pledged to the school because his ad was messed up in the paper. "Can he even do that?" she asks. Rory nervously says she doesn't know as Paris heats up a can of soup on a hotplate. Cleary, the madness has taken full hold of Paris, and I have to ask again: where the frick is Doyle? Her boyfriend? With whom she lives? Who has done this job before and could be of help? Has she killed him and put him in a box? Because I think it's a weird oversight of the writers to think we've forgotten he exists and that he would let Paris go down in flames like this. Rory starts her speech. Unfortunately for those of us who were just starting to tolerate Rory again, she makes it all about herself, reminding Paris how long they've known each other and all the things they've been through together. "We supported each other," she says, as Paris continues to mumble over her soup, "through good times and bad. This is a not-so-good time, Paris." The brilliant Liza Weil, totally getting the shaft in this storyline, says she knows: "If the hurricanes don't kill us, the bird flu will." No, Rory says, clarifying that she means that this is a bad time for Paris, here at the paper: "The board voted you out." Paris looks confused for only a moment before coming to a resigned acceptance. Rory says that she's sorry -- that she just found out. Paris says it's not like she didn't know it was a possibility. "So," she says, nodding to the staff room. "Are they all out there excitedly awaiting my perp walk?" Rory pshaws: "Who cares about them? You don't perp-walk. You're Paris Gellar, you walk tall! You're better than all of them." So true. Rory adds that Paris doesn't need this dumb job anyway -- she's going to be a doctor. "Surgeon," Paris corrects. Rory nods, and says she's also going to be a lawyer. "Judge," says Paris. Rory agrees that it will be a hell of a workload: "And the workload here -- the indignities -- smoothing the ruffled feathers of advertisers; covering sports as if they matter -- you are exhausted, Paris. Stretched thin. Eating soup out of a can!" Paris is beginning to buy all of this. Yes, she says, she is pretty tired: "And I'll be damned if I'm gonna give those people a perp walk." Rory says that's a good attitude. "Let's get out of this spider hole and take care of this right now," Paris says, suddenly energized. Rory says she's with her, and follows her into the staff room.
"Everyone," Paris shouts. "I have a little announcement." She says that it has become increasingly clear that she has become the story at the Yale Daily News and that it has overshadowed their journalistic efforts. (I am thinking some of speech this was taken from Howell Raines's resignation at The New York Times, but I can't source it. I feel like it's from something.) "Well," she says, "I don't want to be the story at my own newspaper, because then I'd be Judith Miller, and I'd have to wear my bangs too long, and overdo my lipstick." Hee. She says she doesn't want that and therefore is tendering her resignation immediately. She says that the paper has overcome numerous obstacles in its august history and that it will easily overcome this. "My resignation will be a loss," she says. "But it will be a loss the Daily News can survive, and will survive, and it is a loss it must survive.