In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Wow, there's a lot of talking in this episode. Like, scene after endless looooong scene. Rory starts her community service, and talks to her grandparents (and their maid) and the women of the DAR. Lorelai and Luke decide not to buy Twickham House and live at her place, instead, but not until after they've talked about it. In other big news, Lorelai's new dog isn't the only thing she's keeping secret from Rory. She hasn't told Rory about the engagement, and when Rory finds out (from talking to Luke), she is terribly hurt and betrayed. Now she knows how Lorelai feels. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
The moon glows above Twickham House as Lorelai and Sookie stand contemplating its grandeur. "It's big," Lorelai says, sighing. Sookie: "That's what she said." Lorelai flatly responds "good one," in answer to which Sookie can only justify herself with "Hey, I'm still twelve." Hee. All of a sudden, I really miss Pamie. They talk a little about how sweet Luke was to have this dream of him and Lorelai living in the Twickham House and how it's so big, Lorelai could have a dedicated sewing room. "Are you kidding?" she says. "I could put a whole loom in one of those rooms -- indulge my long-harbored desire to make tapestries." Except, see, the house is really big. Maybe too big. "A little on the Versailles side," says Lorelai. "I'm gonna have to keep an eye out for peasants with pitchforks." Sookie, on the other hand, is keeping a look out for any sign that Lorelai is going to bolt from her engagement with Luke. "Yes, Sookie," Lorelai assures her, "it's sticking." Sookie says she had to ask, seeing as Lorelai has priors and all: "You say one thing, but your heart says another." Lorelai sighs again. "Please," she says, "don't give me the whole litany -- especially one that sounds so much like a Kenny Chesney song." Good point, seeing as how he doesn't seem to know too much about how to have a successful marriage, either. Sookie says she's glad Lorelai's committed, because if she does decide to bolt, "the eyes will give you away. If you're thinking of bolting, they'll pop out on you like that Runaway Bride. It's like the eyes are trying to run away first." Very funny AND significant for the following reasons: 1) Sookie is awesome; 2) The Runaway Bride worked out her community-service commitment by cutting grass in the town in which I live; and 3) we will soon come to find that Rory ALSO does her community service on the side of the road (not like that!). Now, tell me, y'all...coincidence? Well, yes. You're probably right. In answer to Sookie's concern, Lorelai has her friend look at her eyes to see that they are "pretty socked in there." Sookie says she's glad, and that Lorelai has pretty eyes. Lorelai: "I'm taken." They look at the house again, and Sookie says she thinks it just got bigger. "That's what she said," Lorelai cracks, and we go to commercial, never to see Sookie again.
In a nondescript room of some official nature, Connecticut's least-hardened criminals sit to receive instruction on fulfilling their obligation to society. The camera pans across the first row, containing the following individuals: Robert Smith from The Cure; Shirley from What's Happening; the drummer from System of a Down; some moody chick attempting to simultaneously rock the Joan Jett AND Pat Benatar looks; and Rory, looking for all the world like Winona Ryder, post-Saks incident. Those assembled listen to all the rules, and the list of things they are not to bring when paying their debt to society: rope, knives, brass knuckles and, my favorite, "anything that can be used as a truncheon." Rory looks worried.
At Luke's, the happy couple is, guess what?, arguing quirkily about Star Wars. Luke is trying to understand the ways of the Jedi. He doesn't get how they have all these crazy powers but the thing that gives one Jedi the advantage over the other is that one can stand "on a mound of dirt and declare 'you can't win, I've got the high ground.'" Lorelai sighs and tells him, "Dude, if he said it, that's the way it is -- it's a fictional world." Luke's not buying that, though. He prefers the recapper's method of living, which is to question the inconsistencies and suckitude of all fictional worlds until fiction is once again worth experiencing! "This has been bugging me," Luke says. Obviously. Lorelai can't believe he won't let it go, since they saw the movie months ago. "I can't," he says, incredulous. "All the other guy has to do is scurry onto land, run up a hill a bit, and then he has the high ground. They can fly jet pods, but they can't scurry?!" So, so awesome. But, wait, there's more. "Go on a website, or something," Lorelai suggests, squinting at him a little. "There are thousands -- no, millions of your kind out there debating all the minutiae of, not just this Star Wars movie, but every Star Wars movie." Go on a website? To debate entertainment minutiae? Who would do such a thing? She may be making fun of Luke for the Jedi thing (and she may be making fun of us for the website thing), but the shoe is on the other foot when Luke brings up the recent film version of Bewitched. Lorelai very rightly explains that complaining about that movie is justified. "I mean, Nicole Kidman, good choice," she says, "but that concept?" I heartily agree. She ticks off her issues with it: No Larry Tate, no Dr. Bombay, and again, no Larry Tate! Luke suggests that Lorelai go on a website, and she takes her coffee and leaves. Every single complaint my husband has from now on, I'm going to tell him to "go on a website." Why did I never think of it before? Our whole life is a website!
In the corner at Luke's, the insufferable T.J. is polishing some insufferable shelving he has allegedly just installed. He fondles the shelves until Luke admits that, yes, "they're very shelf-y." T.J. accuses him of not being very excited about these shelves, and Luke admits that he is, in fact, not. "I hate that you've lost the little boy in you," T.J. says. He then goes on to talk about how great it is that Lorelai will be joining their family, since it will increase the "hot girl" quotient. "You gotta admit," he says to Luke, "our wives are hot," and gives the International Symbol for "va-va-va-voom." Luke's a little grossed out that he's being asked to contemplate his sister as a hot girl, and blessedly gets rid of T.J.
Outside in the park, a pet-adoption event is going on. Lots of cute dogs and one cute...pig? Yes. Lorelai bends down to say hello and apologize for the "you-L-T" she ate yesterday. She wanders around until she sees a precious, shaggy fellow in a crate and stops to check him out. Lorelai coos over him and tells the rescue volunteer lady that Lorelai and the dog have "a love thing going on." From nowhere, Miss Patty rolls up in an impossible-but-true tie-dyed muumuu. She warns the pet lady: "This is not right. [Lorelai] can't have a love thing going on with the dog." Lorelai says that yes, she can, and orders, "Go about your business there, Patty." But Patty is persistent. Surely, she says, the animal people have Lorelai's name on a blacklist somewhere. Lorelai gets mad and defends herself against Miss Patty's repeated reminders of the hamster, bunny and turtle who all allegedly met their untimely deaths under Lorelai's care. Somehow, Lorelai gets rid of Miss Patty, laughing nervously to the pet lady that Patty is such a comedienne, "she just gets a bit and just keeps on going, you know, even with one that's not funny." Kind of like this scene? Yeah.
As the pet lady wanders off, Lorelai says goodbye to the dog and is starting to leave when she is accosted by Liz, who is so excited to see her, she says she's going to eat Lorelai's face. "Is that good?" Lorelai asks. They get girly and compare rings. Liz likes Lorelai's, especially since it didn't turn Lorelai's finger green and give her gangrene as Liz's own ring did. No matter, Liz is so thrilled to be welcoming Lorelai into the family, she busts out a Wonder Twins Power moment, raising her ring up and sing-songing "Sister-in-laaaaaaws!" Lorelai participates, and is even nice enough not to correct Liz's grammar (but you can tell she's thinking it). Lauren Graham looks so irritated in this scene. Liz asks, in general, about Rory, and Lorelai realizes that Liz hasn't heard the whole sordid story. She says that Rory's staying with the grandparents for the summer and for once lets that be it, while Liz rhapsodizes about the Gilmore family and how close they are before going off to her gangrene finger-therapy appointment. Lorelai is left to contemplate the shambles of her family and, to fill the void, abruptly adopts the scruffy dog she saw and loved earlier.
At the grandparents' house, the elder Gilmores are relaxing at their morning buffet, large enough to serve the brunch crowd at the Ritz, when Rory kind of drifts in. We learn that her car has been impounded and damaged and is still in the shop, and that her grandparents are working on getting it out. This is THE most annoying scene in the episode. The Grandparents' (I like calling them "The Grandparents," like they're from Flowers in the Attic) prattling dialogue does nothing but grate, and I feel like we could have gotten all this information about her car and whatever from some other source. Like, a conversation with Lane or Paris or anybody but the g-rents. I get that Rory is supposed to sit there watching them plan their lives and schedules while she herself has nothing to plan or schedule, but...damn, I wish to God they'd shut up.
<
...so they head outside to the front porch to talk about the Twickham House. Luke says that when the contractors start working on the new house, he might have the crew come over to Lorelai's and work on it, too, to get it ready to sell. Lorelai pauses. "Maybe we should hang on to this house," she says. "It could be like, a paint studio." Luke: "We don't paint." Lorelai says she knows, but that maybe it's been the lack of a studio that's kept them from realizing their love of watercolors. "I don't have a love of watercolors," Luke says. As an alternative, Lorelai says, she could use it as her recording studio! "When I'm not laying down tracks," she says, "I could rent it out to Korn, or Iggy Pop, or...someone." Great idea. It would be cool, she says, just hanging out with Iggy Pop, telling stories: "Ig's got stories." She also suggests perhaps keeping the place as a safe house should they decide to take up a life of crime. In the background of this scene, Paul Anka wanders to the staircase, lies down, and sighs. I feel you, dog. Instead of throwing a bucket of water over the very crazy head of Lorelai, Luke says again that if she really wants to keep the house, they can rent it out to someone. But she doesn't want anyone else to live in it. She just wants to keep it, and asks him to think about it. Think about what, though? What are they going to do with an extra house? If you don't want to move, say so, Passive Aggressive Jones. Lord! Noticing that Paul Anka is snoozing inside, they decide to go back in, Lorelai warning Luke that Paul Anka gets scared when you wake him up, and also prefers to hear no words that start with "Q." So, like, quirky and quixotic are out, huh? Paul Anka isn't going to last long in Stars Hollow, then.
Back at the mansion, Rory has been summoned to a meeting with the G-Unit. (Good one, eh? I know. Don't you WISH Fifty Cent was up on this show? How much would I love it if he was Rory's boyfriend? I'm telling you, she could use a visit to the candy shop.) The grandparents announce that they are going to help Rory to get a job. She says that she doesn't know how she'll handle one while trying to deal with all this community service she has to do (And, yes, it's only three hundred hours, but scheduling it is really half the battle, so it will take quite a while to get it done. I know this not because I've had to perform community service, but because I used to work in a place that used restitution workers. The whole process is a huge pain, which is as it should be, I guess.) Richard assures Rory that they will help set her up with a job that will allow her to have a flexible schedule and make it possible for her to serve her time. She seems fine with this, if a little uncomfortable with the whole notion, and thanks them as the new maid appears with a tray. Emily introduces her as being from Romania, and when Rory says hello, the woman shoots her a look of death. Rory is maid poison! All the maids of all nationalities have been warned!
A quick transition scene (for once, thanks) shows us that Lorelai is headed out on a little car trip with Paul Anka. Apparently, he's not so much loving the stairs and has to be carried to the Jeep.
A return to the mansion shows us Rory, the morning (?), walking in on the end of her grandmother's DAR meeting. The ladies gathered are choosing the hottest founding father. Seriously. It might be all right if not for one member, played by the very funny Jane Carr, who is so very obviously and wonderfully English. Why on Earth would an English woman join the Daughters of the American Revolution? You don't see anybody named Sally Grant at the DOC, is all I'm saying. The ladies tell Rory that they had just been talking about her. A job has conveniently opened up at the DAR office downtown, and they need someone exactly like Rory to fill the position. A convicted felon? No, no. Just someone with porcelain skin and shiny hair. Rory is only too pleased to accept, though she sours a bit when she finds out that she'll have to join the organization. Emily invites her to stay for the remainder of the meeting, and Rory uncomfortably has to remind Emily that she was supposed to give Rory a ride down to her community service. The meeting breaks up and they head out.
Lorelai is returning home from her jaunt with Paul Anka and gets out of the car (as does the dog, who is happily afraid of jumping) to find a strange man on her roof. He introduces himself as George. "Hi, George," Lorelai says, looking for a polite way to phrase her question. "Are you committing some sort of crime?" George says no, he isn't, but Lorelai wonders if he'd tell her if he was. They are interrupted by a second man coming out onto the front porch. Lorelai is just about to get scared when Luke shows up on the roof, also. "I was this close to screaming and sic-ing the dog on you," Lorelai says, turning around to find that Paul Anka somehow got back into the car. "How...did you get the door closed?" she asks him. Paul Anka is fast becoming my favorite member of this cast. Lorelai and Luke engage in a little banter about what Luke's doing there: he's looking into enlarging her bedroom. He wants to do that so that they can live in the house, together. She smiles and asks about Twickham House, which Luke says is too damn big. "We can get along here for a while," he says. "Maybe forever. It's a great house. You love this house." Lorelai smiles again: "I do love this house." Luke figured that out, he says, from her sudden interest in "laying down tracks" and painting. She invites Luke and his two comrades down so that she can kiss them all in celebration and turns to find that Paul Anka has gone so far as to lock the door to the car. "Dude, come on," Lorelai says. "I mean, I've got the key, but I'm really curious how you did this." week, Paul Anka's going to move into Emily and Richard's guest dog house.
< <
Rory makes it back to the pool house, sweaty and dirty. She wanders in and finds that her grandmother has left the DAR application for her to sign. It's all notated and filled out. She looks kind of moody about it.
Rory must be feeling pretty low, because in the scene, we see her walking into Luke's at closing time. He is very surprised to see her, and she's nervous. I feel bad for Rory, here. She's feeling sorry for herself, and is looking back to old haunts for validation. One of my hardest lessons of adulthood was figuring out that that validation is much harder to come by the older you get. Even the people who love you eventually expect you to start taking care of your own ass. As irritated as I've been by Rory's character lately, I get her. I think that's why she's so annoying. Luke pours Rory a cup of coffee, and she thanks him, noting that the town has done a little painting. He says, yes, it was Taylor's idea. "He put these obnoxious signs up," he says, "'Pardon our spiff; it'll just take a jiff.' It's dumb." Rory agrees that it's dumb, but comments that the town looks good. They hem and haw a little with the small talk, and Rory tells him that she's started her community service. Five hours down, 295 to go. "It's good you're chipping away at it," Luke says, clearly uncomfortable. Finally, Rory asks, pointedly, "How are...people? Are people good?" She's asking about Lorelai, of course. Luke spills the beans: "Your mom and I are engaged." Rory is shocked, but tries to play it off. She smiles, and gets on the verge of tears, and congratulates Luke before running out. Oops, Luke.
The morning Chez Lorelai, she is awakened by banging and clanging. She comes out on the front porch to confront T.J. about the 7 AM wake-up call. "I know," T.J. says. "The sun ain't even warm, and here we are, totin' that barge. Mr. Taskmaster!" Lorelai wants to know who the taskmaster is who's ordered all this barge-toting. T.J. interrupts to try to explain his side of the whole sledgehammering-a-hole-in-her-house thing, but Lorelai's not interested: "It's really early, T.J." She says she's not mad at him, and hears Luke up on the roof, yelling at T.J. to get away from her. She asks Luke if he's aware of the time and if maybe, tomorrow, he could think about starting around 8-ish. They get into a spat about it -- Luke's in a mood. A yelling match ensues, her on the lawn, him on the roof. He complains that she's got a Frisbee just sitting up on the roof. "Luke," she says, "there is a lost Frisbee on the roof of every suburban home in America. No less a luminary than Garrison Keillor said that. It's not that big a deal." Luke thinks it is, though, or at least he's going to make it a big deal so that he can ramp up the argument to get to the big moment: "I told Rory we were engaged." Aw, snap.
Lorelai's mad. Luke says he couldn't help it: Rory came into the diner and it was awkward and stupid, and he just ended up telling her, seeing as how she had on the "Rory face," which he is powerless against. Lorelai says he should have ignored the Rory face. Luke says that Lorelai should have told Rory himself, but she disagrees, saying that no one should have told Rory anything. The conversation quickly spirals and goes on way too long, until Luke declares himself the winner. "I have the high ground," he says. "That gives me the upper hand on anything you got." Lorelai says that Rory started this whole thing and that Lorelai's on a path with this tough love thing and wanted to keep it going. Luke's had enough: "You gotta understand something. Sure, she's your daughter, but I'm in the middle." Lorelai says she knows he is in the middle. Luke lays down the law: "Good, because you've been acting like you're alone in this or something. And I know you don't want my opinion on this, but you're both being dumb, and you should be talking." Awesome. He has to take a break from duly chastising Lorelai to educate T.J., who is making a mockery of the fine art of building sciences. Frustrated, Luke reminds him that it's "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey!" He turns back to Lorelai -- who is a bit teary, standing outside in her pajamas looking at the big hole in her home -- and tells her "we're okay." Sweet.
Back on the roadside, Rory is feeling the pain of her whole messed-up life. Which she has messed up, herself. Eyeliner Chick bumps her on purpose, again, and that tears it. Rory goes for the girl. Slapfight!
Cut to a now sullen Rory, her fight face squarely on, getting a lecture from her community-service dude. He tells her that her behavior is unacceptable.
Back on the road, Lorelai drives by the scene of the trash-picking. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. She catches a glance of Rory at work and decides to start some shit, herself. She bangs a u-turn and walks up on Rory, already on the defense. "Repaying your debt to society, I assume?" she asks. Rory: "That's what this is." Lorelai doesn't like her tone: "System already hardened you?" Rory skips to the good part: "So, I guess congratulations are in order," she snaps, and mother-daughter Twenty Questions is on. Lorelai snarkily asks how things are at the new digs and, just as bitchily, Rory asks if Lorelai and Luke have set a date yet. "Grandma redecorate the pool house yet?" Lorelai retorts, to which Rory shoots back that Lorelai should be sure to send Rory a wedding picture. Lorelai comes back saying that Rory should be sure to send her a change-of-address card: "Grandma can print them out for you with a little fleur-de-lis." Rory has had enough and says she's not supposed to be talking to outsiders. Lorelai says that'sfine, and stomps off. Rory calls after her, "You and Luke, getting engaged and not telling me about it? You hurt me." Lorelai: "Back at you." She doesn't even turn around.