Wearing the same clothes we left her in last episode, Rory is awakened by the sounds of strummy guitars. She sits up and looks around, only to find herself in the same location we left her in last week as well -- the bathroom.
Paris holds her head as she sits at the kitchen table. Kirk enters looking similarly pained. "Founder's Day Punch?" Paris asks. "Abba Zabbas," Kirk replies. "Good morning Vietnam!" shouts Lorelai as she enters the room, her arms filled with bags of greasy fast food. Lorelai explains to a confused Paris that this is the best hangover food "on the east coast," leading one to ask in return, "What is the best hangover food on the west coast?" I have no idea, since my choice of hangover food, regardless of what coast I'm on, is one saltine and two Advils. Rory staggers into the kitchen and is pleased to see hangover food ready and waiting for her. Paris takes a bite out of a taco. "I think I'm gonna throw up," she says. She waits a beat, and then says, "No, I'm good." Hee. Can we just watch Paris get hit with waves of nausea all episode? Apparently not, as our attention moves to Rory, who asks why Lorelai left her lying on the bathroom floor all night. Lorelai says that her efforts to move Rory were met with kicks and vomiting. Rory apologizes for both. Paris makes a request that no one mention vomiting in her presence again. Rory and Lorelai leave the kitchen, and Kirk sits back down, complaining of a cavity.
Lorelai gives Rory a beef burrito, saying she think Rory's Gilmore stomach can handle it. I laugh at the writers for trying to make us believe that Alexis Bledel has ever even looked at a beef burrito, let alone eaten one. If I were Lorelai, I'd be concerned as to how my daughter got such a tolerance for alcohol that even though she drank twice as much as Paris, she's only half as sick. But I'm not Lorelai, who is now telling Rory how Paris is now the "talk of the town" after attacking a pretzel cart, forcing the police to call for backup for the first time ever. I wish we could have seen that -- Paris attacking the pretzel cart, giant pieces of salt flying everywhere, the police realizing they need backup and consulting the town charter for instruction on how to call for it, only to realize that the section hasn't been updated since its creation two hundred and thirty years ago and they're supposed to call up some Minute Men. Kirk dashes through town, shouting "the Paris is coming, the Paris is coming!" and the local militia, in the form of Luke and Taylor, arrive on the scene wearing their finest tricorne hats. I wouldn't be surprised if this happens on the Daniel Palladino-written episode. Rory agrees that Paris was a mess. Lorelai points out that she had company. Rory apologizes for the underage drinking, and Lorelai lectures that Rory, of all people, should know the dangers of Miss Patty's Punch after Lorelai had too much at last year's "Salute to the Quakers" festival and did a Coyote Ugly bar dance. And also, apparently, traveled back in time to the year 2000, when that pop-culture reference was still relevant. Lorelai says she didn't like seeing Rory "like that." Rory says she doesn't like seeing herself like that either. Thus concludes Lorelai's attempt at mothering, and we now move onto the best friends portion of the scene. Lorelai asks Rory about her relationship with Logan, but Rory won't say anything. Lorelai looks hurt.
Yale! Rory stops by Logan's dorm. Logan says he is surprised by her visit, but invites her in. Rory cuts to the chase and says she can't do the casual relationship thing anymore. Logan immediately gets defensive, saying that he didn't force Rory into anything, and that she knew what their arrangement was from the start. Rory says he's right, and that this isn't Logan's fault. She just can't be "one of the many" anymore. You know who else didn't like being one of the many? Lindsay. Or, for that matter, Dean. Logan's roommate chooses this inopportune moment to announce that a girl named "Cassandra" is on the phone, and that she has a sexy accent. Logan tells the roommate to take a message and go away. He does. Rory tells Logan he can take the call, because they're done talking. Or at least, she is. Logan paces around and accuses Rory of issuing ultimatums. Rory says she isn't, she's just a "girlfriend" kind of girl. Logan says he'll be her boyfriend, then. Rory says that's impossible. Logan says it is possible, and then another one of Logan's Ladies comes to the room, asking Logan to take her out to lunch. Because that's what guys who sleep around do -- they take women out to lunch. Rory asks her to excuse them for a minute, and Logan closes the door in the girl's face, because she is happy with just a casual relationship, and is therefore worthless. Logan tells Rory that he wants to be with her, and that if this is how it has to be, then he's willing to give it a try. "New beginnings," he says, and invites her to accompany him to lunch, as soon as he makes that other girl go away. I feel sorry for that random girl, who is about to find out that Logan actually would commit. Just not to her. I'm sure she'll understand when she sees how wonderful and amazing Rory is, though.
Paris arrives at the dorm and finds Doyle in her bed. He explains that he's really sick, and that his roommates kicked him out. He had nowhere else to go (apparently the Yale Infirmary is not open on weekends), so he came to Paris's suite. Who let him in? He did try to call and ask first, but Paris didn't answer her phone because, of course, it was with Rory all weekend, and Rory apparently didn't feel like picking it up. So, basically, Doyle was not avoiding Paris, she attacked the pretzel cart for nothing, and we can now pretend that last week's episode never happened, hooray! Doyle asks Paris to feel his forehead so that she can see how sick he is. Because one of the only pleasures you get when you're sick is having someone feel your forehead and be all impressed by how hot it is. That, and when your stuffy nose has been driving you crazy all day and then you spray Afrin into it and it totally clears up.
Oh, it's Michel! I love Michel. I've only seen him in one episode, but that was enough to make me love him. He has taken a call from Sookie, and passes it to Lorelai. Lorelai asks Michel whether Sookie said how her doctor's appointment went. Michel says he's sure Sookie would have told him if he had actually cared enough to ask. Ha! He's great. Lorelai picks up the phone, and Sookie tells her that her doctor ordered her on immediate bed rest, which means she won't be cooking for a while. Lorelai asks what needs to be done for tonight's dinner in Sookie's absence, and Sookie starts to rattle off a long list of instructions that Lorelai quickly says she doesn't understand. She tries to a crack joke about it in her Lorelai way, but Sookie is not in the mood. I guess she won't be watching any Comedy Central Presents... during her time in bed. Lorelai tells Sookie that everything will be fine, and pretty much hangs up on her. Lorelai has no patience for people who don't enjoy her particular brand of humor. Why is she with Luke?
Lorelai and Michel make their way to the kitchen, and Lorelai asks Michel what they need to get tonight's dinner ready. Michel says they need Sookie. Lorelai says that there is no Sookie, so they'll have to go to Plan B. "That involves Sookie's clone, also named 'Sookie,'" Michel responds. I love how Sookie's clone also has to be named Sookie. I love Michel. Lorelai asks Michel for a rundown of the kitchen staff and what their jobs are, which you'd think she would know herself, being the owner or whatever of the Inn. I guess she's hands-off when it comes to aspects of Inn management that involve actual management. Michel says that they have a guy who does salads, a guy who does desserts, a guy who dresses the plates, a guy who cleans, a guy who uses tongs, and a guy whose role in the kitchen besides sitting around looking creepy is unknown. Michel advises checking the last guy's trunk before he leaves. Sookie takes care of everything else. Lorelai asks who is going to cook the ducks. "It will not be me," Michel non-volunteers. Lorelai asks what they should do. Michel suggests ordering pizza, Chinese food, or perhaps "one of those hoagies that you cut into a million pieces." His accent makes this line, too. Lorelai calls an end to suggestion time.
The phone rings at Luke's. It's Lorelai, freaking out about the Sookie situation. "I'll be right there," says Luke, whose backwards hat gives him the power to read minds.
Logan and Rory have finished lunch and make plans to see a movie. Don't they have, like, classes? Or, if it's still the weekend, work to do? Actually, now that I think about it, I never woke up before 3 in the afternoon on weekends during my college years. They enter Logan's dorm room, only to find a blonde woman sitting on his couch. Yale really needs to crack down on their dorm security. Strangers walk in and out of other people's rooms seemingly at will. Logan is extremely happy to see the girl. Rory is not. She thinks it's another one of Logan's easy women, an easy assumption to make given how affectionate he is with her. "Maybe I should go," says Rory. When did her self-esteem get so low? Logan laughs and introduces Rory to his sister, Honor. Rory smiles geekily at this, which I liked, but would have liked a lot more if Rory hadn't just been so ready to get dumped on her ass. Honor shows Logan her new engagement ring, and Logan congratulates her and they hug again. Honor adds that she's going to tell their parents about the engagement at dinner tomorrow, and begs Logan to come "for support." Logan reluctantly agrees to go, and places his hand on the inside of his sister's thigh. Um...I think I'm starting to figure out why Logan never had a girlfriend before.
Honor turns to Rory, and Logan introduces her as his "girlfriend," although he has some trouble getting the word out. Rory laughs and asks if Logan needs some water or a time machine. I really don't get why she is so cool with Logan not wanting to be with her. Honor is impressed anyway, saying that Logan has never had a girlfriend before. She invites Rory to the family dinner, saying that Rory's presence will make things more "festive. And distracting." Rory says she'll go, and Honor hugs Logan yet again and runs out the door. "I like her," Rory says. Good thing, too, because I have a feeling that Logan spends a lot of time with her. Seriously, they're the most affectionate brother and sister I've ever seen. Except for the ones that occasionally pop up on Jerry Springer because they are SLEEPING TOGETHER. Rory says that if Logan doesn't want her at the dinner, she can stay home, no problem. Ugh, she's so excited about having a relationship with this guy that she just keeps giving him permission to treat her like shit. Fortunately for Rory, Logan does not treat her like shit. Yet. He says he wants her at the dinner.
Lorelai gives Luke a very fast tour of the kitchen, being sure to point out "tongs guy" and "check-his-trunk-before-he-leaves guy." Check His Trunk Before He Leaves Guy doesn't seem to mind his new title, but he could be making a mental map of his Revenge Route, which will first take him to the knives, where he will select his weapons, and then to each member of the kitchen staff, killing them before they even realize what is going on, and then onto the rest of the hotel. It looks not unlike one of those stupid Little Billy's Sunday stroll around the neighborhood Family Circus panels, except that there is no ladder with an open paint can precariously balanced on top just waiting to be knocked over. Luke assures Lorelai that he can cook and the dinner will turn out fine.
Paris enters her bedroom with a strange woman in tow. She introduces her as Nanny, and says that Nanny will be taking care of Doyle while he is sick. And she only speaks Portuguese. Nanny says something in Portuguese and rips Doyle's shirt off, thus revealing more of Doyle than I ever wanted to see. ["Just a sidebar about seeing Doyle: I spotted him at the Paramount Theatre in Toronto on Friday, and seriously, Danny Strong is shorter than I am. And I am not tall." -- Wing Chun] Then Nanny opens a jar and begins smearing its contents on Doyle's chest. "She's got salve! She's got salve!" he whines. Paris assures Doyle that Nanny's salve works, and that Nanny has taken care of sick Paris for years. Doyle whines that he was hoping Paris would take care of him, not Paris's Random Nanny. Who exactly is paying for Nanny right now, with Paris's parents, their possessions taken by the IRS, both hiding out somewhere overseas? Your guess is as good as mine. Paris says she can't take care of Doyle because sick people freak her out. "You're pre-med!" says Doyle. Nanny Portugueses. Paris runs away, presumably to research which medical fields she can pursue that will keep her well away from sick people. There are always openings in the exciting field of forensic pathology, Paris. And their patients never whine.
Luke has made himself at home in the kitchen. Sookie calls, asking for an update. Luke brushes something onto some tasty-looking roast ducks and says that everything is fine. Sookie tells Luke to be sure that the duck sauce is strained twice. Luke hands the phone off to Lorelai, who asks Sookie where the temporary Sookie replacement applications are. Sookie says that they're around somewhere. Lorelai hangs up on her and turns her attention towards Luke. "I love watching you cook. It's hot," she says. Luke simply responds that Lorelai is standing to the broiler. "Oh, is that what we're calling it now?" Lorelai says, her voice low and seductive. "Not in front of the guys!" Luke orders. "Fine, I'll save my dirty cooking jokes for later," Lorelai responds. I'm hoping that by "later," she means "a guy who isn't so uptight and actually appreciates my efforts."
Lorelai is sick of working, so she goes home. Upon entering the house, she hears a noise. She picks up a pillow for self-defense, and asks who's there. It's just Rory, visiting without calling ahead again! Judging by what I've seen from Lorelai and Luke's relationship, though, it's not like Rory is in danger of walking in on something she'd rather not. Rory says that she just stopped by to pick up a dress, but she will only tell Lorelai what she needs it for if Lorelai promises not to say anything, because she already knows what Lorelai will say. Lorelai says that's not necessarily true; she has been known to say some very surprising things. For instance: "Hugh, I know you're with Elizabeth Hurley, but how about picking up a hooker tonight?" A Hugh Grant prostitute joke? At this rate, Lorelai will be joking about the time General Washington spent Christmas Eve sailing across the Delaware River before the episode ends. Rory announces that she and Logan are officially "boyfriend and girlfriend," and, apparently, in sixth grade, and she is going to dinner at his parents' house tonight. She walks away, and Lorelai makes a sour face. She follows Rory to her bedroom, where Rory tells her about how Logan decided to "commit" to her, and she's very happy with this and is sure Lorelai will be too, eventually. Right now, however, Lorelai is shoving a pillow in her mouth so as not to make her unhappiness with the situation known.
Sookie calls Luke again. She demands to know whether he puts walnuts in his béchamel. Luke says he does not, and that he has to go. Sookie says that she tasted walnuts. Luke asks Sookie how she was able to taste anything he cooked, since she is supposed to be resting at home. Sookie doesn't answer this question, instead yelling at Luke for messing with her classic béchamel and putting goat cheese in the fennel salad. Luke asks again how Sookie got hold of his food. Sookie says she didn't have any; she just assumed. Sookie may want to think of a better lie before calling time. Luke asks if Sookie is making her kitchen staff sneak food over to her. As Sookie denies this charge, Luke spots a staff member rushing into the kitchen with an empty Tupperware container, fresh from a delivery to Sookie's house. Luke puts the phone down and makes a kitchen-wide announcement that from now on, the food does not leave the Dragonfly. He says it again in Spanish, although I have no idea how or why a small town in Connecticut would have a predominantly Spanish-speaking staff. Get your head out of Los Angeles, Amy Sherman-Palladino! Luke gets back on the phone and tells Sookie to chill the hell out and let him cook. This will not happen.
Rory returns to the dorm, her precious blue dress in hand. She is alarmed to find Nanny in her bedroom. Paris explains that Nanny finally got Doyle to fall asleep, so she moved on to other work because she apparently lives to serve. Paris then explains the whole Doyle situation to Rory, and how Paris is unable to care for sick people. Since Nanny suffers from no such aversion, she has been brought in to tend to Doyle. Nanny also has an aversion to working for people who can actually pay her, it seems. Rory says that she needs Nanny to leave her bedroom so that she can get ready for her dinner with Logan, and then does her share of useless exposition dialogue, telling Paris how she and Logan are together now. "You're Annette Bening!" Paris says, shocked that Rory got Logan to commit. "I'm not Annette Bening," Rory says, neglecting to add that she's better than that; she's Rory Goddamn Gilmore, the most desirable woman in the world! Nanny walks out, her arms full of Rory's shoes. I hoped she was stealing them as payment for her services, but no. She's just going to buff them. Rory plucks a pair out of Nanny's grasp for the dinner. Meanwhile...where is Nanny going? Does Yale have a shoe-buffing station for everyone to use? And where does Nanny live? Is she staying in the dorm somewhere? Rory walks into her bedroom and exclaims that it is clean, thanks to Nanny. Paris nods and smiles.
Logan and Rory arrive at Logan's parents' house. It's very big, because Logan is very rich. Rory expresses her amazement at the size of Logan's palace. Logan says he's nervous about the dinner, because he doesn't know how his parents will react to Honor's news, and they have been known to get vicious. Rory says she has a lot of experience in vicious family dinners. At least, vicious family dinners in which she is not the subject of the viciousness. Logan rings the doorbell to his own house, and Honor answers it, scolding him for being late. She says that the place has been like "a morgue" since she and her new fiancé, Josh, got there, even though she told them that Rory was coming, in the hopes that this would put them on their best behavior. She tells Logan to get inside and stop this, and Rory tells him to remind her to tell the story of the time Lorelai came to dinner with a shirt with a rhinestone penis on it, and Emily had her car towed. I see she has come prepared with an arsenal of family stories that are sure to amuse and delight the Huntzbergers.
Rory oohs and aahs over the interior of the house. It is very impressive, and looks like one of those summer homes in Newport, Rhode Island that families like the Vanderbilts and Astors used to own around the turn of the century. The turn of the last century, that is, since the upkeep of the ornate palaces soon became way too expensive, and they were eventually sold off to preservation societies that offer tours much like the one I was forced to endure during a sixth-grade field trip. There's nothing more fun and educational than walking through the remnants of gross family wealth. Anyway, the entire place seems a little over-the-top for an old-money family, who I thought were known to frown on such ostentatious displays of wealth. Unless...is Logan Richie Rich? He's got the blond hair, and that's all I need. Richie and Rory make their way to the sitting room, and Richie introduces Rory to his mother and grandfather. Father Rich is still at work. Mother Rich asks about Emily and Richard, and Rory says that they're doing well. Then there is awkward silence, broken only by Grandpa Rich swirling his ice cubes in his glass until Richie offers to refill it for him. Rory tries to make small talk, asking if the Riches were at her grandparents' wedding. Mother Rich says they were, and then makes a mental note to send Emily a note. That's what rich people do, you see. Or at least, that's what they did in Jane Austen novels. More awkward silence. A maid, wearing a formal uniform, enters with a note on a tray. Mother Rich reads it and says that Father Rich will be at work for a while longer, so they'll start dinner without him. Everyone walks to the dining room. Rory notices an original Velazquez on the wall and tells Richie that his house is "so cool." Whatever; if they were really rich, they'd have, like, a Da Vinci. Or a Michelangelo. It's very sad that my knowledge of Renaissance-era painters is limited to what I learned from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Lorelai runs into the kitchen with a comment card from the dining room. She reads it to Luke: it says that the food was really good, and proposes marriage to the chef. Luke asks what the comment-card-leaver looked like. Lorelai says she didn't say the comment-leaver was female. "I'll stick with what I have," says Luke. Charming. Luke compliments the kitchen staff, and Lorelai is happy. She leaves, and Luke notices Pedro sneaking out of the kitchen. Luke follows Pedro up the stairs and into a room, where Sookie is lying in bed. Luke and Sookie bicker as Pedro stands around awkwardly with a ladle full of Luke's cooking. Sookie says that she had to "make sure" Luke was doing a good job with the dinner. Well, that's certainly worth endangering the health of your baby for. Luke announces that Sookie's interfering ends right now. He walks out, leaving Pedro with his ladle. "Give me that ladle!" Sookie orders. Luke runs back in, grabs the ladle, and walks back out, leaving Pedro holding only the ladle cradle. I like a show that makes full use of ladles as a comic prop.
Richie Rich makes small talk about boats, because rich people love to talk about boats. I'm sure the Rich family own a boat rivaled only by the Titanic in size and general grandeur. Sister Rich says that they should all take a family vacation on the boat, and bring Josh and Rory along. Grandpa Rich responds to this suggestion by slamming his fork down, and then asking Maid Maria for a salad because his meal is too hot. You see, rich people don't have to wait for their food to cool down. Mother Rich excuses herself from the table, and Richie explains that she smokes when she's stressed out. It's supposed to be a secret, I guess, and yet Mother Rich does it in the very room. They probably own one of those expensive air purifiers from Brookstone that filters out the smell. They are really rich, you know. Rory whispers to Logan that she doesn't understand why people are so upset; Josh seems like a fine man. "The Huntzbergers aren't interested in 'fine,'" Richie responds.
Mother Rich only has time to take one drag before Grandpa Rich calls her back into the dining room. He says he's sick of waiting for Mitchum to get home when there are "serious matters" to be discussed. "This is an important family!" he gruffs. "Marrying into it is important business!" Josh straightens his tie and looks even more uncomfortable than he did before. Maria gives Grandpa Rich his salad, and he yells at her. Richie says he has to "jump in" and stick up for his sister. As long as Sister Rich is happy with Josh, he says, everyone else should be happy for her. Sister Rich thanks Logan for the support, and says that she is happy with Josh and doesn't appreciate her family's passing judgment on him before she even has a chance to announce their engagement. At this, Mother Rich just smiles and says, "Of course" Sister Rich is marrying Josh, and Mother Rich has already put a hold on "the Japanese Tea Garden." Of course, by "Japanese Tea Garden," Mother Rich means all of Japan. They're very, very rich.
Richie Rich says now that that's cleared up and everyone's happy, they should celebrate. Grandpa Rich says that the celebration can wait until after their very serious discussion on the very serious matter of "unsuitable people" marrying into their very serious family. And no, he's not talking about Josh. He's talking about Rory. Mother Rich runs in from her second stress smoke break to say "a girl like Rory has no idea what it takes to be in this family." She adds that Rory wasn't "raised" or "bred" to be a Huntzberger wife. "This isn't all about her mother," she adds. That's very magnanimous of her. Go on with your open-minded self, Mother Rich! Richie utters a few "oh my god"s and looked pained. Rory just sits there with her mouth open. I think that's a pretty realistic reaction there, too. While we'd all like to think that, when openly insulted, we would stand up and make a witty retort and leave with our dignity intact, we're usually too shocked that someone would violate the unspoken barriers of common courtesy even to get angry until well after the event. Frankly, I'm surprised that a family with such good "breeding" as the Huntzbergers would be so openly rude.
As Grandpa Rich tells Richie that he has a responsibility to the family business, Richie stands up and walks out of the house. Rory follows, saying she doesn't understand why his family doesn't think she's good enough: "I mean, I'm a Gilmore! Do they know that? My ancestors came over on the Mayflower!" She adds that she went to Chilton, and goes to Yale, and even had a coming-out party! There goes my sympathy for her. Rory asks why no one has a problem with Josh, who doesn't even speak. It might be because by not speaking, Josh isn't making himself look like a snob by listing his good breeding credentials. "Josh isn't marrying the heir to the Huntzberger fortune, you are," Richie responds. They went from an open non-relationship to engaged all in one episode! This show moves fast. Suddenly, Mitch comes home and asks why Richie is upset and Mother Rich is smoking. Richie says he's sure Mother and Grandpa will fill Mitch in, and leaves. Rory takes a second to suck up with a "it was nice to meet you" as she follows Richie out.
Nanny and Doyle have resolved their differences. Doyle loves Nanny's salve, has been trying to learn Portuguese, and is feeling a lot better. Nanny leaves to boil the curtains or something, and Doyle asks Paris to hand him the NyQuil. Paris says that no one is getting any NyQuil until they talk about their relationship.
Jackson runs into the Dragonfly kitchen and yells at Luke for making Sookie upset. He threatens to kick Luke's ass if he does it again, and leaves. Luke storms off to find Lorelai, who is in the parlor. He says that he has "had it" with Sookie and her ladle-stealing, Inn-sneaking-into, double-sauce-strain-demanding ways. This is the first Lorelai has heard about any of this drama, since she apparently spends her Inn management time screwing up magazine interviews and going home to drink orange soda and stick pillows in her mouth so that she won't pass judgment. Luke says he is through! Lorelai isn't too concerned, since she doubts that Luke, being her boyfriend, will quit. I doubt that Luke is her boyfriend. Luke says Lorelai is right, and that he can't do anything except vent and threaten to quit without actually quitting. He returns to the kitchen.
Lorelai finds Sookie's secret room. The bed has food all over it, but no Sookie. Lorelai finds her outside, escaping the hotel in a golf cart with Jackson at the wheel. "If this is the eccentric-couple version of The Amazing Race, I think you guys are winning," she says. And while I do appreciate Lorelai's effort to make a timely pop-culture joke, I must add that since all versions of The Amazing Race are eccentric couple versions, that's just redundant. Jackson says that they are not talking to Lorelai because she is with Luke. Sookie says that she has no problem with Lorelai. Lorelai calls Jackson "crankypants," and then tells Jackson that if he's not going to stop the golf cart, he could at least let her ride in it. She climbs aboard. Lorelai asks Sookie if she ever actually had any culinary school applications. Sookie says that no one was "good enough" for the job. Lorelai says that while no one is as good as Sookie, there are plenty of people who are "good enough" to replace her while Sookie has her baby and stuff. Like Luke, who Lorelai says may not be used to such fancy cooking, but did his best. Sookie argues that Luke is actually really good, and that his lamb chops are amazing. Lorelai tells Jackson to pull the cart over, since they're at their house. He does, and helps Sookie out of the cart. Lorelai points out that kitchen worker Manny seems pretty capable. Sookie says he should be, because she taught him everything she knows. Lorelai suggests that Manny replace her. He knows her secrets, and they can "keep it in the family." The family of tongs and scary men who sit in the corner (check the trunk). Jackson says everything turned out pretty well in the end, except for the fact that their unborn child probably just died.
Richie walks Rory to her dorm. He drops her off at the entrance. Rory says that they could get dinner, but Richie says he needs to walk around by himself and clear his head. He should try Nanny's salve. Rory says she'll see Richie tomorrow. "Uh, yeah. Tomorrow," Richie says, as he walks away.
Luke and Lorelai hang out at Lorelai's couch. Luke is tired. Lorelai thanks him for being a "white knight." Luke starts to fall asleep. Lorelai tries to take advantage of the situation...by asking him for his secret lamb chop ingredient. He will not give.
The phone rings, and it's Rory. She tells Lorelai about the awful dinner, and how Richie's family hates her. "That's impossible!" says Lorelai. "That's like hating Thumper. No one hates Thumper!" Actually, I didn't like Thumper that much. I think it was his voice that I found most objectionable. But at least he didn't walk around the forest, extolling the virtues of his pedigree. Rory says that the Riches don't think she is good enough to marry into their family. "What are they talking about?" says Lorelai. "Don't they know you're a Gilmore?" Rory says they obviously don't care: "And who said anything about marrying into their family?" Seriously. Rory says that apparently, the fact that Logan brought her home said that he was going to marry her, a thought that you know she secretly loves. Lorelai says she can't believe that the Riches said all this stuff to Rory's face, and that Rory just sat there and didn't say anything. "I hate these people," says Lorelai, asking what Richie did about all this. She begrudgingly offers him praise for getting angry and leaving the dinner. But, Rory says, Richie looked really freaked out all the way home, and Rory's afraid that he re-thought their relationship. Lorelai asks if she can say something Rory won't want to hear. Rory says she can. Lorelai says that if Richie bolts, she should let him go. "We're good together," says Rory. "I'm good for him." "But maybe he isn't good for you," Lorelai says. Except that she really means "good enough," I think. Rory says that Richie can change. Lorelai says that, two days ago, Rory -- her "beautiful, brainy, fabulous daughter" -- was lying on the bathroom floor crying, which is disturbing to Lorelai for many reasons, one of which is that she does not remember the last time she cleaned the bathroom floor. I love that they mentioned the nastiness of bathroom floors. "Is that really the kind of relationship you want to be in?" Lorelai asks. Rory doesn't have a chance to respond, because someone is at the door.
It's Richie! He apologizes to Rory for "taking off" on her and "overreacting" about the whole dinner thing. "Forgive me?" he asks. "There's nothing to forgive," Rory says. Richie offers to take her to dinner. Rory runs back into the bedroom and asks her mom if she heard that. "Everything's fine, I just got upset about nothing," says Rory. "Okay, but -- " Lorelai starts, but doesn't have time to say much else before Rory says, "Thanks for the talk, Mom, and I heard you, but I have to go." She runs off to dinner with the perfect man.
It's the day or so at the newspaper office. Paris tells Rory about her talk with Doyle. Apparently, his heart was broken several years ago when a girl dumped him in a "Julia Roberts to Kiefer Sutherland kind of dump." Would anyone Paris's age even remember that Julia Roberts was married to Lyle Lovett, let alone engaged to Kiefer Sutherland before that? I do, but only because I have a dollhouse, and my dollhouse is very awesome and detailed and even has electricity, which is the distinguishing line, I feel, between a child's plaything and a serious adult hobby. Anyway, my dollhouse mother loves to read her tabloids, and she has a little miniature National Enquirer that she keeps on the living-room coffee table, and its cover story is about Lyle Lovett and Julia's Roberts's surprise marriage. Because, kind of like this show sometimes, the world of miniatures is a good ten to fifteen years behind the real world. Do you know how hard it is to find a realistic-looking miniature computer? Without a laptop, Dollhouse Dad's home business has fallen behind, so much so that they had to rent the attic room out to a family of bipedal bears.
Back on the show, Paris says that Doyle admitted that he wants to have a committed relationship with Paris, and that they are boyfriend and girlfriend, just like Rory and Richie! Mitch Rich strolls in, and Paris jumps up to shake his hand. Mitch says that Paris's handshake reminds him of Jimmy Breslin's, and asks her to excuse him and Rory. He apologizes for the dinner party and his family. Rory thanks him. Mitch leans against a desk and says he heard that Rory wants to be a journalist. She says that is true. Mitch says that his company just acquired the Stamford Eagle Gazette. It's a small paper, but it has potential. And Stamford is pretty close to New Haven. Would Rory be interested in an internship there? Actually, she would not. Mitch is taken aback, and asks why. Rory says she thinks Mitch is only offering out of guilt over the dinner. "So what?" Mitch says. He says that an opportunity is being handed to Rory. It doesn't matter why: "What are you gonna do about it?" Rory smiles. Mitch says she starts Monday at 10. He breezes out of the office, leaving Rory to tap her pencil and wonder what she just got herself into.