Previously: Emily butted in. Christopher was an ass. Luke high-tailed it out of his relationship with Lorelai. Logan got some tail.
Lorelai takes mail from mailman Skip, even though she has a mailbox (and I wonder which one she ended up buying from Kirk for the inn). Lorelai compliments the "stems" on Skip, and approves of his being back in shorts. Lorelai flips through her large stack of mail and makes a "Pfth!" sound. She picks up the phone and calls her daughter. The phone number? La-la-la-LA-la-la-LA (area code 203). Ooh, Lorelai's cute outfit and the boots. I can't wear a sweater vest without looking like an exchange student dressed by her elderly caretakers. Lorelai is upset that the entire stack of mail is for Rory. "This mail envy of yours is not pretty," Rory comments. Lorelai did get some more "stupid Greenpeace return address labels." Those'll keep coming for the rest of your life. Can you believe Rory's still typing on that Blueberry clamshell iMac? Lorelai says she "feels badly [sic]" for the environment. Rory scolds Lorelai for calling Rory's cell when her bill's already astronomical. Lorelai: "But a conversation with me? Priceless."
Lorelai finds a postcard from the Temple of Apollo. It's from Emily. Look at Rory's Lite Brite lamp. Where can I get that? [/Stac(e)y] Lorelai thinks it's weird that Emily can compartmentalize her life like that, comparing her to a serial killer who goes to work, talks about a "funny Seinfeld" she saw, and then goes home and cooks herself a "man-flesh sandwich." Ha. Lorelai reads the postcard aloud: "Dear Lorelai. Kicked a dog, then punched a gypsy in the groin." Rory tells her mother to stop, but Lorelai's not finished yet: "Complained about the fois gras to a waiter whose yearly pay is less than what I spend monthly on silver polish. Then, kicked another dog!" Hee. "Tripped a nun. Then burned down an orphanage." Rory notes that Emily's vacation has a busy itinerary. Lorelai rips the postcard in half. Rory says she's just been getting reminders about Friday Night Dinner. Rory says that, for the record, she's mad at Emily as well: "Anything else?" When Lorelai is bristled from the briskness, Rory explains that she's busy studying. Lorelai: "I gotta pop out of an envelope for you to have an interest in me?" Rory promises that they'll have a gay old time this Friday night, after the dinner. Lorelai tells Rory that Skip's back in shorts. Rory wisely announces she's not going to waste cell-phone minutes on Skip and his shorts. Lorelai adds that they're the funny Reno 911! short-shorts. They hang up, and we go to opening credits.
“ Emily calls again. Lorelai hangs up. Kudos to the editor on that one. Emily's cut off at the funniest part of her syllable. ”
Luke's mad, you guys. Really mad. Throwing coffee, bumping Asian Cesar, tossing plates mad. It actually looks like he might have bruised Cesar. Lane (who's back in her glasses) shoves mfTL, and tells him to sit up and actually pay for this meal. MfTL says he's not going to pay for cold, undercooked fries. Lane says that this advice is for his own protection, since Luke is in a very bad mood. Lane kicks mfTL's feet off the chair and promises him that she's doing this because she cares for him. A customer (wearing a sweater with sleeves I don't understand) leans over and asks Lane about his omelet, which is "way overdone." Before Lane can explain why he should shut up about that, Luke opens the diner door, picks the customer up by his collar, and throws him out before the words "Make me another" have stopped making sound waves. Luke yells to the rest of his patrons, "How's everyone else's eggs, huh?" Everybody immediately chimes in that their eggs are super-fab, thanks for asking. MfTL tosses a wad of ones onto the table, promising that it's all he's got. Luke grumps off. "His eyes," mfTL says. "Red. Like the fires of Mordor." (Geeky website alert.) Lane tells mfTL to leave and keep low. She checks on Kirk, who is loving his "blackened Cajun bread." It's burnt toast, and he's using the flecks of black crumbs to flavor his runny eggs, which goes great with the "fishy-tasting bacon." Luke throws more food around. Lane notes that his oven door isn't attached to the oven anymore. Luke tells her it fell off when he kicked it. Lane doesn't want to serve a plate of some kind of hash instead of a side of hash browns. She adds that the customers are all going to eat at Weston's after Luke tosses them out. Weston's must be so happy for the extra cash, but poor Lane and her tips. Luke pretty much ejects the rest of his diner, banishing them to the land of ceramic cow creamers and kitty-cat salt and pepper shakers. Actually, one couple stays, like, "Screw Weston's, man. I hate knick-knacks." Lane hands Kirk the plate of mystery meat. "Terrif!" Kirk smiles.
Dragonfly. Lorelai's on hold when Sookie enters, asking about the reservations over the two to three months. She's trying to set up the menus for while she's on maternity leave. Amazing that she won't just keep cooking from home. Lorelai's on the phone with her insurance company, asking why her premiums were raised "yet again." She says she only had a couple of snow-related small claims. (Were they from people falling on the wet floor? Because those may be some serious spinal injuries.) Lorelai's put on hold again. She explains to Sookie that the "charmers" at their insurance agency get mad when you try to claim something. I think that's what happens with all insurance companies. They like taking money, not spending it. Lorelai's phone call gets disconnected, just like she was on hold with Adelphia Cable Company. Emily calls. "Lorelai! It's your mother. I--" Click! Lorelai goes back to her conversation with Sookie. Emily calls again. Lorelai hangs up. Kudos to the editor on that one. Emily's cut off at the funniest part of her syllable. Lorelai asks Sookie who will be Sookie 2.0 while Original Sookie is gone. Some lady named Chantal is in the lead. She had once gotten her "face caught in the mixer," but now that she's got her "new nostril," apparently she's just peachy. Richard calls this time. Lorelai doesn't mind speaking to her father. She asks Richard about his trip and his flight home. But when Richard puts Emily on the phone, Lorelai hangs up immediately. I appreciate how she waits until Emily says her daughter's name.
“ I've gotta say, it does feel pretty good to watch Rory pick her pennies out of the gutter. ”
Lorelai asks Sookie if she can have some leftovers to eat for dinner tonight when she's home alone watching all three A Star Is Borns: "I thought I'd hunker down with some fabulous food and watch all the men who got away." Sookie thinks this is a terrible idea, hurling Lorelai closer to her spinster status. Lorelai brags that she still has her original nostril. Sookie says Lorelai can't become "Couch Potato Girl," the one who sits home night after night, ordering Chinese food, watching old movies. Mmm, that could be fun. If I could ever catch up on all the TiVo I still have to watch. Tonight I might find out if there's someone else living on that island. Lorelai points out that she's been Couch Potato Girl for the past twenty years and nobody's been concerned about her. Sookie says the difference is that "now it's pathetic." Hey, thanks, best friend. How's your whole avoiding-motherhood thing going? Sookie decides they need to have a Girls' Night Out immediately, where they paint the town: "Big fun. Big excitement. Big hair!" She tells Lorelai to look hot by 7:30 when Sookie comes to pick her up tonight. Lorelai doesn't argue. Lorelai: "But remember, I don't put out unless I get dinner." Sookie: "I know; I saw your bumper sticker." Ha.
The following scene was made entirely from your forum suggestions. Rory goes to her Yale kiosk and orders a caramel macchiato with an extra shot and whipped cream. Mmm. When the bill comes to close to $5, she asks the barista to knock off the extra shot. When that's still not enough to match the change in her hand, Rory asks to make it a small minus the whipped cream. The small makes it just over three dollars, but the whipped cream saves her nothing but calories. Rory orders a small, black coffee. Time for Rory to invest in a coffee maker for her room. Rory drops her change and says, "D'oh!" I've gotta say, it does feel pretty good to watch Rory pick her pennies out of the gutter. Logan comes to the rescue, of course: "This would definitely qualify as a cute meet if we hadn't met already." Ha. I honestly thought "meet cute" was a term only used in this town, so I got a kick out of Logan dropping it. Logan pays for Rory's coffee. Rory thanks him. They walk, discussing Doyle and how he never leaves the office. Logan pulls Rory away to a corner and kisses her. "People will see," Rory frets. At least she's getting a bit better about kissing someone. Maybe she and Milo had a fight that week. I'm guessing, however, that it's all her exposure to this crew. Logan tells Rory he's done with his midterms, and was just around to drop off his Ethics paper. Logan has a tight grip on Rory's jacket sleeve. Rory flirts that she'd really like to read his Ethics paper. Logan calls her mind a mysterious place. Rory says she'd really like to know if Logan's for ethics, or against it. Hee. Logan says he can't trust Rory with his paper -- which he actually wrote -- having just seen her drop coins in a gutter. He reminds her of Hemingway, saying he trusted "that wife of his" with his only copy of the novel he was working on. "The silly woman lost it." Rory says that's not true, and that the story goes that Hemingway left it on a plane: "His wife had nothing to do with it." Rory bets Logan all the money in her purse and a million dollars that she's right. Logan says his spelling stinks. They kiss again. Logan promises to call Rory from his ski cabin. Rory thanks him again. Logan heads out, telling Rory she'd better have the million bucks ready when he gets back, adding, "And I don't accept coins." They really have better chemistry than she's had with any of her other boyfriends, even though I don't trust Logan any more than I trusted Digger.
“ I wish I had laundry bags like Rory's when I was in college... and after college... and until just a couple of years ago, actually. I used trash bags, which is what happens when you live in a city that doesn't have a Target. ”
Lorelai is pouring coffee in her kitchen when Rory shows up, cursing her heavy bags of laundry. When she asks her mother for a hand, Lorelai breaks into applause. Rory says that while Bob Hope is laughing in Heaven, Rory isn't. Lorelai is shocked that Bob Hope got into Heaven. I wish I had laundry bags like Rory's when I was in college...and after college...and until just a couple of years ago, actually. I used trash bags, which is what happens when you live in a city that doesn't have a Target. Rory is upset to find that Lorelai is already using the washing machine, which means that Rory won't get all of her clothes washed before she has to go back to Yale. Just staying the night, Rory? I thought you were coming home for Spring Break? She says the very fact that she's a college student coming home for Spring Break means she should have dibs on the washing machine the entire week. Lorelai says there's no such thing as implied dibs, and that if you don't call it, you don't get it. Turns out Lorelai is washing a single pair of socks, which is just cruel. Why can't Rory throw her clothes on top of the dancing Santa socks? Lorelai promises to do two of Rory's loads while Rory's at Emily's. Lorelai gives Rory a twenty-dollar bill. She's figured out, between the laundry and the cell phone, that Rory must be hurting for cash. It might be because she's jobless and spending money like she's already betrothed to a Huntzberger. Rory says there are "no good jobs at Yale now," even though she'd take anything (Hey, Rory, I found a way you could get out of Friday night dinners forever. Check this out). Lorelai asked around Stars Hollow and found a few jobs for Rory already: "The radio station need someone to drive up the hill a couple times a day and shoo the cows away from the transmitter." Rory, already revising the word "anything," says she's not good with livestock. She also turns her nose up at a job holding a Slow Down sign for a construction crew, even when she finds out she'd get to wear a helmet. ["Which is crazy, because road jobs are union jobs and you get paid sweet cash just to stand there." -- Wing Chun] But, of course, there's a Rory-fied job ready for her: helping Andrew do inventory at the bookstore. Rory thanks her mom and asks to borrow clothes to Emily's, since she's down to her "Give Bush a Wedgie" t-shirt. As much as Lorelai begs her to wear that shirt to Emily's, Rory insists on changing into something fancy, no matter how much money Lorelai offers.
Emily's. Rory is cold toward her grandmother. Emily throws her arms around Rory and tells her how much they missed her. Rory hands her coat to Eliza, the current maid. Emily calls Rory's outfit "interesting." It's a very pretty dress underneath a strange, sparkly bolero jacket. Rory explains that it's laundry day. Emily: "'Laundry day.' Everything young people do sounds like fun." Totally. Try this one on, Emily: keg stand.