We open at a funeral, where we are reminded that nobody loves chatting through solemn occasions like Lorelai, Sookie, and Rory do. During the eulogy, we learn about the recently departed. His name was Stan, and apparently Rory loved him because he wore fedoras and Hush Puppies. Lorelai wishes he had also worn pants. Rory and Lorelai have chosen their most solemn black berets to cover their heads on this occasion. Sookie remembers how Stan came to lunch every Tuesday at the Independence Inn. I didn't know this show even had Tuesdays. Lorelai tells Sookie that Stan made the very first lunch reservation for the Dragonfly, and Sookie tells her not to cancel it -- they'll save that seat for Stan. Rory dissolves into tears.
The Rabbi leads the Mourners' Kaddish. Lorelai immediately interrupts it to say that in Stars Hollow, death comes in fives. Rory tells Lorelai not to try to lighten the mood. Lorelai points out the five who died last year (we've heard of one: Fran) including a set of twins (which must have been pretty sad), and the five who died the year before that. But alas, there have only been four this year, which means that someone in the room is about to die. Can't Lorelai even try to whisper? Lorelai realizes that it'll be the ancient Hank Krutzman, who's "a hundred and ten." Rory can't believe he's actually that old. Lorelai backtracks, and says he's not really that old, but that's the age you say when someone is really old. Rory says she prefers to say how old someone actually is, because that's not "crude and insensitive" (like chatting about who's the to croak while sitting in a funeral?). Sookie and Lorelai immediately begin reminiscing about what a great guy Hank was. Rory scolds them, saying that the man is still in the room and very much alive.
Reverend Skinner takes the...pulpit while Rory tells Sookie and Lorelai that if something happens to Hank now it's their fault and they caused it. Sookie says it won't be Hank. Rory says they should focus on Stan because he's actually dead and they had nothing to do with it. Reverend Skinner says that Stan lived in Stars Hollow for fifty-six years and loved the town. He really loved the church bells, which fell into disrepair twenty years before and haven't rung since. Stan left money in his will to the church to repair the church bells, so when they ring now, the town can stop and think of Stan. This pleases the mourners. "Oh, Stan!" Rory whimpers into her Kleenex. The Rabbi tells everyone to resume the service at the cemetery. As they're leaving, Lorelai admits that she wasn't here when the bells rang. Sookie wasn't, either. But Miss Patty says they were fantastic, and that one of her most romantic memories happened under those bells. "Your first kiss?" Rory asks. Miss Patty: "Uh, sure. Okay." This is when Hank takes a little spill. But he's okay, and everyone helps him back up. Lorelai says that they'll be very stressed out for the rest of Hank's life. Rory says that serves her and Sookie right for making him the fifth. Lorelai says they don't have that power; they only speculated. Sookie says it could be anybody -- Taylor or Reggie or Andrew or Kirk. There's a commotion: Kirk has fallen underneath a memorial wreath. "It's gone dark! It's gone dark!" he shouts. Lorelai pulls Sookie and Rory closer and declares them the Witches of Eastwick. Thus ends the longest teaser in this show's history.
Lane's band plays a song that mostly goes "Yeah, yeah, yeah -- yeah-yeah!" Is this a cover? They usually do covers. Sebastian Bach compliments Lane's playing. Then he tells (my friend) Todd Lowe that he looks like Sebastian Bach's seven-year-old when she's all "grumpy-puss." Seriously, recapping all these episodes has been worth this moment when they made Sebastian Bach say "all grumpy-puss." (mf)TL says that the band is too on the beat and too in synch. He says that if the rest of the band is happy being on the beat, then they should just add a laser show and a flute and be prog rock. He says he doesn't want to sound fake and computerized and be *NSYNC. This is a band Sebastian Bach's never heard of. They explain that it's a boy band. Sebastian Bach says he's too rock and roll to listen to boy bands. (mf)TL says he read about them. Then he's teased for reading about boy bands. Sebastian Bach admits that his guilty pleasure is Simon and Garfunkel. Lane loves Fleetwood Mac. (mf)TL shakes and shouts that he's not into *NSYNC, he just reads a lot about music, and mostly just skims anyway. He asks that the band be a little more Stones and a little less Kraftwerk.
Sebastian Bach calls a break, and leaves. Lane tells (mf)TL that he's so mean to Sebastian Bach, who I'm fixing to call Gil because it's easier to type. They tell (mf)TL that Gil is so nice. He comes early and brings sandwiches from his shop. (mf)TL complains that Gil never brings the kind of sandwich that's his favorite. Lane asks if she can have the hard time instead of Gil. Gil comes back in and announces they're booked at CBGB's on Tuesday. Gil says "dude" a few times and explains he got in through the sound guy. It's at 1 in the morning, but Lane doesn't care. She gives a list of bands who got their start there, and then clutches Gil in happiness.
Rory and Lorelai walk through Stars Hollow in what appears to be the original teaser for the show, and which may have been bumped to this scene. They chat and walk through the snow. What starts as a happy reflection on the first snow of the season quickly dissolves into a discussion of all the different snowfalls that have already happened this year but that they were too busy to call each other and share. This is really the fourth or fifth snow of the year, but it's still pretty, they decide. The bells go off. "Aw, Stan," Rory says. Everyone in the entire town comes out of their homes and stands on the streets of Stars Hollow, looking up at the church bells in reflection. We can't actually join in, since the "la-la"s are so loud they are conflicting with the song. Everybody applauds and goes back to their business. Lorelai says that their walk in the first snow of the season wouldn't have had the bells. They part ways: Lorelai to Luke's for coffee, and Rory to Lane's for something. Lorelai says that the bells will go off again in half an hour. They might want to make that a once-a-day thing, like normal church bells. Rory tells Lorelai to order her a coffee, a muffin, and onion rings. Ew.
Lane is meeting with her church group. They have to interview someone. The group wants to interview Pastor Cho, or Assistant Pastor Eric. The clothes on the people in this youth group crack me up. Where are these kids from? Are they supposed to be Stars Hollow kids? In any event, Lane would love to shake things up and interview Bill Clinton, but every year Pastor Cho is interviewed, or Assistant Pastor Eric, so one of them, or both of them, are waiting on their calls right now. I'm going to back this episode up and do a quick Scarf Count up to now, because there is an amazing scarf budget on this show. Let me count, hold on. There were no scarves in the funeral or the band scene. But in just the last scene alone, there were eighteen scarves. And also I think I see CuteDean looking up at the bells in the lower right-hand corner of the screen. I may just be doing some wishing, though. Okay, back to the youth group. The kids aren't too excited about Lane's radical suggestion to write a letter to President Clinton. Rory shows up to "return a book and get a new one." Lane just walks away from her youth group and ditches them for quite some time.
Up in Lane's room, Rory opens the book she's holding. It's a hollow book and holds a CD she borrowed from Lane. She tells Lane she loved it, and burned a copy for Lorelai. Lane says it's people like Rory who are destroying the music industry. Rory says that Britney must shoulder some of the blame for that. Lane holds up the CD, and I'm almost positive that it's Lemon Jelly's Lost Horizons. Then I get my own Lemon Jelly CD and see that it's not. This causes me to spend fifteen minutes going through my CD collection, holding up CDs to the frozen TiVoed screen to match my CD with the one in Lane's hand. Whatever it is, I don't own it, but I was sure that I did. Dammit. Lane gives Rory her New Pornographers CD. I do enjoy that the fake book Rory's holding says it's about martyrdom. Lane puts the CD back in her fake floorboard and tells Rory that she's so excited about the upcoming gig at CBGB's. Rory asks how she's going to get there. Lane says she's working on the perfect alibi as they speak. So far she's got "Mama, may I run something past you?" It used to be "can I," but she thought the "may I" added a certain level of respect. Rory tells Lane to say she's sleeping at Rory's dorm at Yale. Lane: "She knows they're co-ed. By the way, she's praying for you." Rory tells Lane to say she's on an Astronomy class field trip. Lane says there are no Astronomy classes at Adventist college, because that would imply that the universe is old. They quickly slip a new cover on Rory's book just as MamaLane bursts into the room. Rory starts to leave, but MamaLane grabs the book and reads the title: Jane. One Woman's Harrowing Journey to God. She compliments Rory on her selection and lets her go.
Yale. Paris tells Rory it was a smart move jumping on her bandwagon with the International Relations Committee. Rory says that Paris is making her go to this thing. Paris says that Rory will thank her when she's interviewing for grad schools in a few years and finds that her "waifish looks aren't as charming." Paris has a scarf. That's nineteen. Paris reminds Rory to argue and be vocal in this class; it's all about volume. Rory asks why Paris, who is pre-med, is suddenly interested in International Relations. Paris says it's critical to step outside your major sometimes and a "certain fellow" told her about it. Rory makes Paris shut up before she says anything more. They enter the class and sign in. Scarf count: twenty. Paris tells Rory that the advisor, Professor Friedman, has a daughter who was busted last spring for growing pot in their basement. "A certain fellow" told her. A guy enters, and by the sound of the strummy-strummy-la-la, we're supposed to care. If they hadn't mentioned in the previously that this was the probably gay guy from the laundry room, I wouldn't have known that. Actually, he still doesn't look familiar. Anyway, he signs in and Rory stares at him. They make eye contact, and then Rory ducks away because he dissed her once and Rory still hasn't recovered.
Luke's. Kirk wants to know what time it is, but Luke just told him the time and doesn't want to do it again. Kirk's waiting on the bells. Luke tells him that the bells will let Kirk know what time it is. It goes on for a little while, until Lorelai finally breaks the routine by entering and ordering a gigantic coffee. Scarf count: 21. Kirk's wearing one, but I counted it in an earlier scene. Hell, I'll count it again: 22. Kirk says that he stood so close to the bells earlier that he now has tinnitus, an affliction he learned, from the "Celebrities Who Share Your Disease" website that he shares with William Shatner. Lorelai is amused that Kirk and Captain Kirk both have tinnitus. So does recapper Pamie. It's called Lollapalooza. Kirk looks up quickly and asks, "Was that them?" Heh. Luke tells Lorelai he doesn't like bells, and that not everybody does. "No, actually, they do," she says. Luke says that they interrupt conversations and are monotonous. Lorelai says the people who feel that way are the same freaks who also like sunsets and the moon and the stars.
Nosy Parker asks Luke what he's doing with paint chips. He says he's doing some painting. He got an apartment with Nicole. Three weeks ago. In Litchfield. Lorelai is flabbergasted that Luke didn't tell her he was moving or that he moved. She asks what would have happened if she sent a fruit basket upstairs. He says it's not that big a deal, and that it's not like they tell each other everything. At least not this season. Luke says that nothing's changed. Lorelai says he doesn't live here anymore, and that she doesn't have his phone number or know what he lives in. He says it's a townhouse. She says she totally thinks "common driveway" when she sees him. He says she'll see it eventually. "Will I?" Lorelai shrieks. Suggesting that she'll come over to see the townhouse implies that they are friends, and she doesn't feel like he's treating her as a friend. The bells are ringing as Lorelai shouts that friends tell each other the most basic of things, and that she thought she and Luke were friends, but apparently they aren't. She says she can't stay, and leaves. Luke shouts, "Lorelai!" a clip I can't believe they didn't milk in every preview this season. Then he shouts, "Damn bells!" Fade to commercial.
Yale. Some common area somewhere. Lunchroom, I guess. Rory is talking to two girls we don't know. They go through the one girl's lame care package. That girl is wearing a very ugly top with a huge white zipper that goes down the front, just off the side. They gossip about the cute guy we barely know, and how his name is William and he has a so-funny story about this girl who threw herself at him after meeting him in the laundry room, and how she's like this stalker. Rory -- who is genetically predisposed to think all things are about her -- assumes that William is talking smack about her. She looks down, shameful, as her catty friends wonder which girl in the dorm is the "psycho."
On the other side of Freaking Out About A Man Who Isn't Dating You, Lorelai pouts to Sookie about Luke's moving in with his wife. Sookie is looking at sconces that Lorelai hates. Lorelai can't believe Luke thinks everything's fine even though everything is horrible, horrible, horrible! He'll go from grumpy route to commuter route. Sookie thinks that Luke with road rage is a bad combo. Then there's a lame, lame, lame CIA joke. I'll skip it. Lorelai says she might be insane, and that just because she goes in for coffee every day, maybe they're just coffee friends, like dogs and liver treats. Sookie asks if Lorelai is the dog or the liver treat. Lorelai says she thought she was the liver treat. And maybe a collar and cute leash. Sookie admits that Lorelai has lost her. Davey starts crying. Turns out he hates the bells, and knows when they're coming. Sookie picks up a 2X4 in a blanket and rocks it. The bells start ringing, and Davey starts screaming. Lorelai sees Luke outside, shoveling her walk. Lorelai is happy, because a man's doing something for her again. She goes outside to tell him that he's forgiven.
Lorelai walks outside, beaming, putting on her coat. "You missed a spot!" she says. What an asshole. She says that this is really nice, and that she would like to fight again so that her gutters can be cleaned. Luke delivers a letter straight from our forums. Lorelai tries to interject a few times, but Luke barrels through with some seriously overdue bitching: "You think everything is your business. Everything is about you. Well, here's a news flash: some things are not about you. If I want to move in with Nicole, it concerns her and it concerns me and that is it. It does not concern you. It is none of your business! I don't have to tell you anything! And you do not have the right to make me feel guilty because I didn't tell you anything. I have been tying my own shoes since I was four, repairing my own car since I was fourteen, and I have been making my own decisions since I could crawl! I owe you NOTHING!" "Fine!" Lorelai shouts. "Nothing!" Luke repeats. "Fine!" Lorelai repeats again. Luke walks away: "And shovel your walk. It is a safety hazard." Lorelai says he's holding her shovel. Luke screams that he loaned it to her three years ago. Lorelai storms back into her house. Emmy for you, Luke. Good show.
Yawn. Rory's International Relations class. Israeli and Palestinian conflict is the issue. Paris explains it all away as two siblings fighting over the television remote. Paris and I have the same Gap scarf (mine's brown, though). Count: 23. Rory's pissy at William, so she attacks him on some issue he has about Israel, explaining that guns and bombs aren't as dangerous as treacherous lies and rumors. Teacher has a scarf: 24. Rory calls William an idiot. Someone dressed William like a tool, in his plaid Oxford and striped rugby shirt.
Pouty Lorelai is starving, but she can't go to Luke's because she's maddy-waddy at him for being so meany-weany. Rory is trying to study, so she gives Lorelai a list of every delivery place in Stars Hollow. Lorelai is bored and mad. Rory tells her to go make up with Luke so that she doesn't starve to death. Lorelai doesn't want to eat Beefaroni, and asks for a suggestion. Rory suggests The Bell Jar. Get it, the Bell Jar? Lorelai says she stayed up all night with Rory when Rory had the chicken pox, and that she needs Rory now. Rory hangs up.
Church bells. Lorelai puts on her Jiffy Pop hat and walks through the snow. Someone screams, "Shut up!" to the bells. People run with their hands over their ears. We see Miss Patty's dance studio, where Miss Patty is counting off steps, asking her dancers to ignore the bells. Lorelai -- wearing way too much makeup -- looks into Luke's window and sees him packing a box.
Luke's. Nice bell on your door, bell-hater. Lorelai walks up to Luke. "You wanna help me break the bells?" Luke: "I'll get my toolbox."
Lorelai follows Luke upstairs. The conspiratorial bass guitar starts up as Lorelai snoops around and sees that all of Luke's things are still upstairs. Dishes in the sink, an unmade bed...all the signs of bachelor life. And...my current home situation. Luke gets his toolbox. They leave.
"CBGB's." Lane is stoked, and is drumming on everything, including (mf)TL. Gil is excited. He's looking for signatures on the walls. He finds The Strokes. "Yawn!" says (mf)TL. Lane says that they have to sign the wall, since that's the whole point of being in a band besides the loose chicks. They find The Strokes in three other places, and comment that the band is overexposed even on walls. Bad news: Lane's band is bumped for the night. The booker explains that there are only two people out there, and they aren't drinking. Lane says she'll get them drinking. Brian realizes that those two people are his parents. Lane totally wants to play, but the booker says he already sent people home, and that they'll just reschedule the night. Lane begs and pleads, saying she really sacrificed a lot to be there tonight. The booker says he's really sympathizing with her, and leaves to find a cigarette. Lane wishes him cancer. Gil's cool with this, but (mf)TL just has another thing to rag on Gil about. Brian says that this isn't Gil's fault, and then suddenly the entire band is fighting. Lane stands and stares at nothing while the boys fight all around her.
Church. Lorelai and Luke walk up with the toolbox. The church is locked. Lorelai wonders what would happen if she had to do something holy. She uses her gym membership card to wiggle the lock open. She says she joined a gym after Rory was born to lose the pregnancy weight. "Did you go?" Luke asks her. Lorelai: "God, no. I was way too fat." Heh. The door opens. Lorelai praises and speaks fake-Bible-ese until Luke tells her to go inside.
Lorelai asks God if it would have killed him to dust. Luke tells her to hold the flashlight and not do any funny stuff, like moving-spotlight gags. Lorelai asks if she can put on a dirty shadow puppet show. Luke says that's fine as long as she stands back and lets the lightning strike only her. Wow. Lorelai's Jiffy Pop hat also has a black zipper down the middle. What the hell? Lorelai wants to discuss game plans on how to destroy the bells, but Luke already knows what to do. "You must have been the top of your class at Hunchback School," Lorelai notes. But it's because twenty years ago Luke took down those bells in the first place. He says it's a little narrow up there, so they should take the tools out of the toolbox and leave the box downstairs. Lorelai asks why he didn't bring his little toolbox. When she finds out that this is Luke's only toolbox, she wonders why he doesn't have a big toolbox and a little toolbox, for smaller jobs. Luke: "Well, if you have a big one, you don't need a small one." He stops the already-gasping Lorelai and tells her not to say "dirty" because it's too easy.
Lorelai asks why Luke's keeping his toolbox at his old place, when moving requires lots of tools for hanging and assembling. Luke says that Nicole hired a professional picture-hanger (what kind of degree does that require?), and that they didn't have anything to put together. He asks for a screwdriver. Lorelai asks Phillips or flathead. Luke gives her a look. "I know things," Lorelai responds. "Phillips," says the impressed Luke. Lorelai asks Luke why he told her that he moved. Luke says he did move. Lorelai says he might have moved, but that none of his things did. She says she was there and saw that his apartment is exactly the same, and that it's weird to pretend to move when the bed is the same, the dishes are in the sink, and there's a mega-man powder on the counter. Luke says he moved, and he lives in Litchfield with Nicole. He didn't stay last night because of an early delivery, and the day before Nicole was getting a sore throat, so he went back to his place so that he didn't get sick. Lorelai pounces on his choice of words for "my place," and says he doesn't live with Nicole. He visits Nicole and has dinner with her, watches television, and leaves a dirty duffel bag. He's basically a shitty boyfriend. "Husband," he corrects. "Whole other discussion," Lorelai says.
Luke tells Lorelai that she's passing judgment on his relationship with Nicole. Lorelai says she isn't. Luke says she's doing it on the marriage, the divorce, and their living together. Lorelai says he's passing judgment by not living with his wife. Luke says he was tipsy on the cruise ship, but doesn't remember anyone pronouncing them husband, wife, and Lorelai. Lorelai says they might as well have, since she spends as much time with Nicole as Luke does. "And the judgment's back!" Luke declares. Lorelai says she could move in with Nicole and he wouldn't even know. Luke says that this isn't her business. Lorelai says it's "absolutely" her business, because she wasted a week of her life adjusting to the fact that he had moved, only to find out that he hadn't moved at all. Really? A week passed? But Lane's band practices on Sunday, and the gig was Tuesday, which is tonight, which means that only two days passed from when she found out that he moved, and they had the fight about his moving today because she's wearing the same outfit as when he was shoveling the walk and...where's Emily to straighten this all out? Luke says that nothing has changed. He still sees Lorelai, cooks her food, and serves her coffee: "What do you care?" Lorelai: "I care." Luke: "Why?" Lorelai: "Because I don't want you to move." Luke: "Why? Why don't you want me to move?" SAY IT, LORELAI! Dammit, Reverend Skinner! He comes in and stops the conversation. He sees Luke and Lorelai with their tools and goes, "Oh, thank God. Carry on." He leaves.
Yale. 4 in the morning. Rory opens her door to find Lane, who's freaking out. Scarf count: 24. She asks Rory what to do: she snuck out of the house and didn't give MamaLane an excuse. She just left after MamaLane went to bed. Hey, best friend Rory, thanks for not coming to my CBGB's show, since it got cancelled because of NOBODY SHOWING UP. Rory immediately calls Lorelai and wakes her up. Lorelai says she'll call MamaLane immediately and tell her. Rory tries to protest, but Lorelai says that this is what she'd want to happen if she woke up and found out that Rory was gone. I can't believe Lorelai doesn't panic when the phone rings at that hour. Anyway, Lorelai immediately calls MamaLane.
MamaLane not only has the fire department there, she's also got a prayer group with lit candles, standing in a circle. MamaLane gets the address of Yale. Lorelai and I have the same B-52's shirt, but they've scraped the words "B-52's" off Lorelai's version of it.
Stars Hollow street. MamaLane pulls up to Luke's and gets out of her car. She tells him that Lane won't be making it in to work today. Luke says he knows, because Lane called him twice to tell him: "That is one responsible kid." MamaLane is upset. "She called you. She called you, she called Lorelai." Crestfallen MamaLane bumps the scarf count to 25. Luke asks if everything is okay. Man, did Luke get one hour of sleep, or what? MamaLane says that everything is fine, and that she's going home. She gets in her car, turns it on, and leaves. ["Isn't their house, like, across the rather small park from Luke's?" -- Wing Chun] Luke watches her drive away as the strummy-strummy-la-la makes us think the episode is over, but no. Just commercials.
Yale. Morning. Scarf count: 27. Rory and Lane have gotten coffee. What time is it? Lane says that the floor was fine, but that getting her face stepped on by Paris was a bit uncomfortable. Rory doesn't want to talk about why Paris is coming home so late in the mornings. Lane wishes she lived in a dorm. She hasn't called MamaLane yet. She can't believe MamaLane didn't show up in the middle of the night, kick down the door, and douse the place in holy water. Rory suggests that MamaLane is cooling off. Lane says that MamaLane doesn't cool off, Lorelai does (ha!), and that MamaLane is more of the kicker and the douser. Lane says that her mother's sending her a message by not coming to get Lane; she's saying that Lane messed up, and that she'll have to find her own ride home because the Mrs. Kim shuttle van service is closed for business. Rory remarks that the message is wordy. Let's watch again for an accurate scarf count from extras: 30. Lane's scarf is my favorite, second to Rory's lace-doily thing from earlier. Anyway, Lane tells Rory that she's jealous of Rory's life: Rory gets to do whatever she wants. Rory points out that Lane has a band and a boyfriend, and that school is only temporary; Lane's life is good, too. Lane says she's weak and has no spine. She leaves to go take care of her weak, lame life.
Cafeteria. Rory takes her food to a table, but then backs up to tell William off. She says she doesn't appreciate his talking to her or about her. She says she knows he's been telling the laundry-room story. She asked him for coffee, not to get married. People are listening as Rory says she's not stalking William, and that it's hard to ask someone out. She asks if he'd refrain from telling the details of the hilarious laundry-room incident to anyone ever again. William says he wasn't talking about her. There's a girl on the third floor who asked him out a hundred times, baked him a cake, followed him to class, broke into his room, and hid in his closet covered in whipped cream. Rory admits that the girl is pretty whack, and that maybe that is a good story to spread everywhere. William says that he didn't tell anybody about the laundry room. She asks if he could not tell anyone this story as well. She thanks him and leaves, her food still on the table.
MamaLane enters Lane's room. She looks around the clean place. She notices the fake floorboard and opens it. She finds some of Lane's CDs.
Lane comes home.
MamaLane has found all of Lane's hidden treasures: the secret closet, the clothes, the books, and journals. "Is this all?" she asks Lane. Lane kicks open another floorboard and pulls out a suitcase that probably has makeup in it. "That's all," she says. She apologizes. She says she doesn't want to keep secrets from MamaLane. Lane says that her band had this amazing chance to play a really famous club, and she didn't know how to tell MamaLane, who wouldn't approve of the band or the music. "I would have said no," says MamaLane. MamaLane asks how long Lane has had and hidden this collection of stuff. Lane says she started when she was six, the day MamaLane told her that Cookie Monster was one of the seven deadly sins. "Gluttony," MamaLane says. Lane says she wants to please MamaLane so badly, but she can't. She doesn't want something like last night to happen again. She doesn't want to go to her Christian college anymore. She wants to play in her band, be a drummer, go to community college, and stay at home obeying MamaLane's curfew, except for nights when the band practices or plays; that way, she doesn't have to sneak around or lie to MamaLane, and they can both be happy. "Children do not make the rules," MamaLane says. She tells Lane that she can get her own apartment if she wants to live that way. Lane looks confused. MamaLane walks out of the room.
On the phone, Lorelai tells Rory she handled the William situation well. Rory says she was humiliated. She asks how self-centered she had to be to assume that the boy was talking about her. Lorelai says she would have assumed the same thing, so incredibly self-centered. Whoa! Lorelai is wearing the ugliest shirt in this show's history. It looks fake, like a fake...stuffed torso her head is on. It makes her look like she's got gigantic muscles in her arms. Oh, it's hideous! It looks like jungle vomit. Rory says she's never going to International Relations club, the cafeteria, or the laundry room again. Rory asks where the bells are. Lorelai lies and says they haven't been working all day. There's someone at Rory's door. Rory asks if Lorelai's okay, since she sounds distracted. Lorelai says she's fine, and that she didn't get much sleep last night. We see that Lorelai is eating at that bakery place. Rory answers her door. It's Lane with a suitcase. "What are you doing here?" Rory asks. "Well," Lane says. "Funny you should ask." Fade out.
week: I don't want to talk about it.