Yale. Rory opens her common-room door to find Lorelai, who I'm guessing is still spending nights on Rory's extra mattress. Lorelai's carrying a box full of things and a rolled-up rug. Another throw rug? She asks, "Hey, you know what's so great about you going off to college?" "My new-found independence?" Rory asks. "Oh, no," Lorelai is quick to dismiss. I don't know what Rory's wearing, but I think it's a mistake offered by Clothestime. Lorelai says she likes the extra excuses to shop, like the purple, flowered rug she just bought that wouldn't go with her room, but would look great to Rory's bed. They slowly amble over to Rory's room. Either they have Alexis in some weird shoes for this scene or she's trying out a new walk, because her hips keep swiveling from one extreme to the other like a little girl pretending to walk like a fancy lady.
In Rory's room, Lorelai says there's a matching beanbag chair that will be delivered week. "I love it when you miss me," Rory whines. Lorelai unrolls the new rug. Rory thanks her. Lorelai goes into the care package and unpacks food from Sookie and Luke. Lorelai also brought Rory a copy of the Stars Hollow Gazette (Headline: "Famous Leaning Pine Breaks in Windstorm"). Rory, however, already has a subscription, making her the only person ever to have a subscription to the Stars Hollow Gazette. Rory says she didn't want to get cut off from the town. Lorelai asks Rory if she'd like to get some coffee before she heads back, but Rory says she can't because it's "Shopping Week." Not the fun kind of shopping that Lorelai's familiar with, either. In Yale's first week of school, you can try out as many classes as you want before you register for the semester. And Rory -- who must have that spell Hermione uses to be in three classes at once -- has picked out over fifty classes to audit this week. Rory brags that they all sound "completely amazing," and that she stayed up all night reading the class descriptions over and over. ["I did that in the summer before I registered in my first year. Every section in the calendar sounded great and I was all, 'I could major in Labour Studies! I could major in Film!' Then I ended up taking English and Comparative Literature, and by my second year, all the joy of learning was gone forever." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai: "You do know that if you weren't so pretty, you would have had the crap kicked out of you every day of your life." Rory asks Lorelai to walk her out. "Because you need the protection," Lorelai answers.
Back in the common room, Lorelai asks Rory when her first class is. "Oh, you know, soon," Rory answers. Lorelai asks if Rory's planning on rushing to her first class, getting there an hour early. Rory smiles and then says, "No." Lorelai teases her, saying she knows that Rory's planning to do just that, because Rory tried to do it every year she was growing up. Lorelai cites the example of the time Rory said that the teachers wanted to meet all of the parents before school started, so they got there at 6:30, only to find that the school wasn't even opened yet. There are times I wish my mom watched this show, and it's when they have lines like that -- describing stuff I used to pull -- when I think my mom would really enjoy it. Unfortunately, my mom doesn't understand The WB. She's only now realizing there's a network called FOX. Lorelai interrupts her lecture to sniff the room, looking suspicious. "My mother was here," she concludes. "I can feel it." Rory says that Emily has not been in her dorm room. Lorelai says she can smell it in the room: "It smells like guilt and Chanel No. 5." Rory says that Lorelai is wrong. Lorelai asks if Rory put the coffee table in that position. Rory didn't, but says she has three other roommates, and this is the common room, so one of them might have done it. Lorelai asks when her other roommate arrived. She looks genuinely surprised, because she's been there just as much as Rory has, and doesn't know how something slipped past her. Rory's roommate's name is Janet. "What's she like?" Lorelai asks. Rory takes a breath and looks up before she says, "She jogs." Lorelai flops her hand over dismissively, as that's explanation enough. Lorelai asks if Rory can smell the room. Rory says she'll get one cup of coffee with her before she heads to class. "I knew you were early," Lorelai says. Rory says she's not that early. Before heading out the door, Lorelai pokes her head in once again for one last sniff.
“ Sookie and Lorelai wax nostalgic over the days when they received paychecks. I'd hate to see Lorelai's credit- card statements these days. Wait, I'll look at my own, and then I can imagine. ”
Rory arrives at her first class. I guess Yale's a smaller school than I had imagined, because this freshman class is just a conference table with about fifteen chairs around it. ["Seminar. Or -- as I gather they sometimes call them in the U.S. -- tutorial." -- Wing Chun] In this case, the chairs are all empty, because Rory's the first to arrive. But I never had a core class that didn't involve at least thirty other people, sometimes three hundred. Even my acting classes had eighty people in them for the first year. Rory takes a seat at a corner table, but then changes her mind, gets up, and moves to another seat. The other week, I was at a function where I didn't know anybody, but I took my boyfriend with me. He didn't know anybody, either, so he ended up watching me do my "I don't know anybody" dance, which involves me changing seats, looking around for where I'm "supposed to be," and freaking out about whether I should get some food, or if I'd lose my good seat, if that's even a good enough seat. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You're just watching my life when you're not around," I answered. "It's scary," he said. "I know," I agreed. In fact, I sometimes try three places on my couch before I start my recap. I just hate being early and picking a spot only to realize it's the wrong spot, but it's too late to move because people will think you're moving to avoid them or that you're snobby or whatever, so you're stuck in this place that has a glare or is too hot or you can't hear and you got there early enough that it didn't have to happen. Hm? You want me to recap Gilmore Girls instead of using you for a therapy session? Fine. If you insist. Rory pulls out her copy of Atonement, because she's go that kind of time before class. But she's too nervous and anxious to read. She stands up to move again, but the door opens, so she quickly plops back into her seat. Luckily, she's just been joined by a boy, so she has something to stare at. They both sit and stare at each other quietly. That's when either the instructor or the TA arrives to pass out the syllabi. "Freshmen," he laughs before leaving the room.
Lorelai has Sookie (whom they haven't given pregnant boobs to) sign and date a bunch of forms. They wax nostalgic over the days when they received paychecks. I'd hate to see Lorelai's credit-card statements these days. Wait, I'll look at my own, and then I can imagine. I don't have a daughter at Yale or an inn I just purchased, but I am paying for a car and have student loans. I'm sure that's comparable. Jackson climbs a stepladder and asks Sookie to hand him a screwdriver. She grabs a clamped hand, finds the screwdriver and lifts it up to Jackson so that she doesn't have to move. Jackson is still wearing his button. Lorelai tells Sookie that they have to meet with the liability-insurance man tomorrow before they can break ground on the inn. Lorelai says she also knows the initial estimate for the renovations, but she doesn't want to cause Sookie's water to break, so she'll tell her later: "Once you have the baby, then you can have the cow." Jackson comes down from his ladder and says he's pretty sure he's gotten everything rigged up. He places a baby monitor to Sookie and tells her he's going to the nursery. Lorelai tells Sookie that the estimate is $20,000 more than they thought it would be. "That sucks," Sookie decides. The ladies are interrupted by feedback, and Jackson calling out. Sookie explains that Jackson's trying to wire the entire house for the baby monitor. "I am in the baby's room. I repeat, I am in the baby's room," Jackson says. Lorelai dubs this the cutest creepy thing Jackson has ever done. Jackson asks if anyone can hear him. Lorelai yells that she can, but Sookie says that they're supposed to use the walkie-talkie. Sookie picks up the monitor and gives a 10-4. She tries to report that they're getting some feedback, but she's interrupted by more feedback, and Jackson calling her name. He can't hear her, and they've got a one-way connection. Sookie yells louder, but Jackson can't hear her. She gets up and runs to the nursery, screaming, "I can hear you just fine!" Lorelai notes that this system is going to work great. Jackson walks back in, asking why they aren't using the walkie-talkie. Sookie tells him it's not working, so he takes the monitor away from her.
“ Rory says that this is all very sweet, but that she has roommates, and this might make them a little uncomfortable. When, exactly? When they're jamming to CDs while studying, or when they're inviting nine people over to watch The Sopranos on Sunday nights? ”
Sookie walks back toward Lorelai and tells her she's got a thought. She says she knows that it's going to take a while to get the inn up and running, and until they do, there's no money coming in, so maybe they could start a catering company to have a little money on the side. Lorelai would do the party planning, and Sookie would do the cooking, just until the baby comes. Jackson brings the monitor back into the room. I can't believe they don't use this moment to accidentally tell Jackson the sex of his baby. Lorelai says she's not really a party planner, but Sookie reminds her that she's planned many weddings and conventions for various groups of weirdos at the Independence Inn. Lorelai says she had a staff at the Inn, and resources. Bring back Michel! Sookie argues the logic of manpower and funds with the reasonable "Aw, come on. It'll be so much fun to work together!" Lorelai says she'll think about it, and asks how long she has to think about it. "About a week," Sookie says. Helen Thompson's son Aaron is having a birthday party, and asked Sookie to cater, so Sookie suggested Lorelai plan the party, and Helen thought it would be a fantastic idea. Sookie took the job. It's Thursday, so the party will be on Aaron's actual birthday. She says she can call and turn it down, but maybe they could try this one gig to see if Lorelai likes it. Jackson's voice comes over the monitor again, and Sookie gets up to find him so that he knows she can hear him. "Use the monitor!" Jackson wails. Sookie apologizes. Lorelai looks down.
Rory has bought quite a few books, considering that she hasn't registered for classes yet, and books are so expensive. She wiggles her way into the hall, balancing a cup of coffee on top of her books. A guy in glasses rushes past her, informing her that Russian Economics sucks. "I will make a note," Rory says as she opens her door.
Rory doesn't get very far before she drops everything, saving the cup of coffee. It's dark in Rory's room as she stands up, amazed. We pan around to see that the entire room has changed. I love the gigantic coffee table that looks like books stacked on top of each other. Heh. Tana is sitting on one of the chairs, reading. Rory quietly asks Tana -- like JoBeth Williams asking Carol Anne if the TV People are here -- where all the furniture came from. "I don't know," Tana says. "It must have been here when I got back." Rory's cell phone rings. It's Emily, who says she was going to wait for Rory to call her, but that she doesn't have as long to live as Rory does. "Did you sit on the couch?" she asks. Emily says she didn't want to get the couch too soft, since Rory would be studying there as well as watching television, so she didn't want it to be too comfortable. Emily must have picked out every sofa I've ever had my entire life. "You did this?" Rory asks. "Of course I did it. My granddaughter's a Yalie now. She needs to live like a Yalie." Emily says she snuck in yesterday while Rory was in classes to measure, and then she buttered up Tess to let the movers in. She asks if Rory has seen her entertainment center yet. Yowza. Rory's got a giant plasma TV, VCR, DVD, 5-CD player, turntable, and 5.1 SurroundSound. ["No TiVo? Then that setup is horseshit!" -- Wing Chun] Emily says that the man who sold it to her recommended that she get "Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon." Emily raves, "It's supposed to be amazing!" Rory says that this is all very sweet, but that she has roommates, and this might make them a little uncomfortable. When, exactly? When they're jamming to CDs while studying, or when they're inviting nine people over to watch The Sopranos on Sunday nights? Rory says that this is the common room, for all four of them, and with all of her furniture in there, it looks like she's laying claim to the room. "Exactly," Emily says. "Never underestimate the power of the upper hand, Rory. You're in the real world now. Status matters." She tells Rory that she and Richard are very proud of her: "Enjoy the furniture. We'll see you on Friday." Rory hangs up the phone and informs Tana that her grandmother broke into their room and furnished it. "Did she put that fireplace in, too?" Tana asks, incredulous. Rory tries to explain to Tana that the fireplace has always been there, because it's a fireplace, but gives up in the middle of it. Aren't there, like, five floors in this building? How is there a fireplace in every room? "Hey, why don't we take a little tour of the place, okay?" Rory asks. "Great!" Tana says. Rory and Tana stand up and walk out of frame. Tour where? What place? Huh? Can't you see the couch and television from right there? Where did you guys go? Oh. Commercial. Okay. Moving on.
“ Lorelai's at home, and all you MILF fans are gonna get even creepier when you see she's wearing a pair of cat-eye glasses. ”
Lorelai's at home, and all you MILF fans are gonna get even creepier when you see she's wearing a pair of cat-eye glasses. Lorelai runs as fast as the strummy-strummy-la-la music into the kitchen, grabbing a napkin and a plate. She hustles out of the kitchen, peeking into her bag of food. She takes the phone off the hook and jams it under her chin, making her way over to the couch. She sits down, sipping her drink. The phone rings. Lorelai answers: "They burnt my fries, forgot to give me an extra side of barbecue sauce, the Jeep is making that crunchy sound again, and I have to spend my evening making elf ears for Aaron Thompson's Lord of the Rings party." Rory, who's eating her own Tupperware meal, says, "Grandma broke into my dorm and redid the entire common room in $25,000 worth of furniture and stereo equipment." Lorelai: "You win." Rory says she feels like she's at Uday's house. Lorelai asks what the roommates thought of their new room. Rory says that Tana still doesn't know she's at Yale, Paris saw it and said nothing (prompting Lorelai to moan that Paris must be planning something for later), and Janet's out jogging. Rory hopes that Janet is pleased, because she's in shape and can kick Rory's butt. Lorelai says that Rory should put something on television for Janet when she gets home -- something soothing to runners, that goes in a circle over and over again. Rory says that the redecoration is a total invasion of privacy, and that some of the furniture Emily got rid of might have belonged to someone. Janet comes home at this point, sweaty and still working out, and waves at Rory, who waves back. As Lorelai goes off on her Emily Rant of the Week, Janet pulls out an exercise ball and proceeds to do push-ups in front of Rory, who's still eating chips. Lorelai actually does an "I told you so" here, and Rory tells her not to gloat. Lorelai tells Rory to do almost exactly what she's already done -- to tell Emily she appreciates the gesture, and that the furniture is lovely, but that because it's a dorm room, Rory has her roommates to worry about, and there's a chance this nice stuff could be stolen. Rory says that sounds good. Lorelai tells her then how Emily will call her ungrateful and small-minded. Rory pouts and says she can keep the furniture. Lorelai tells her to say something if she feels strongly, but that she should be prepared, and that Emily did all of this to Lorelai without the furniture.
Richard comes home to find Emily picking out fabric for the sitting room. Richard dismissively chooses one. Emily barks that she was looking for exactly his kind of enthusiasm. Richard says that Emily has excellent taste, and that whatever she chooses will be fine. Emily asks if he needs ice, comments that he seems tired, and reminds him that some men retire. Richard says that some men tattoo their mothers' names on their biceps. He says he needs a drink and a nice meal. Emily tells him that he got a phone call from Jason Stiles today. "Digger Stiles?" Richard asks. He says that he has nothing to say to him. Emily says that Jason might have something interesting to say to him. Richard reminds us that Jason works for the company that let Richard go, and that they phased him out unceremoniously. Richard says that Digger's probably been sent to do his father's dirty work: "It's not enough to fire me; they have to continue to harass me now that I'm gone." Richard pronounces it "hair-iss." Emily says she thought Richard always liked Digger. Richard says he liked Digger when Digger was Richard's personal assistant, but not as his father's heir apparent. Emily says that Richard doesn't have to return the call if he doesn't want to, but that Digger's coming for dinner the night. Emily says she was only being polite in asking Digger to dinner, since he was insistent upon speaking with Richard, but that she can cancel if Richard feels strongly enough about it. Richard says that Digger can come over, but that he's not staying for a drink. Emily says she'll hide the liquor bottle so that Digger doesn't get any bright ideas. Richard says it's extremely comforting to have such an understanding wife at times like these. "I'm so glad," Emily says.
“ Lorelai: 'You're gonna be a great parent.' Sookie asks how she knows. Lorelai says she saw Sookie with Rory growing up. 'Who could not like Rory?' Sookie asks. I know a forum of girls who are dying to sign a petition, Sook. ”
Lorelai pushes Sookie into the kitchen and asks Raleigh to make sure the kids have enough soda. You mean lime spritzers? How did they get soda? Raleigh leaves, and Lorelai sits Sookie at the table, telling her to calm down. "I'm gonna fail!" Sookie says. She frantically points to her stomach and says, "Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!" Lorelai tells her to breathe, and to drink some water. She tells Sookie that everything is going to be fine. Sookie says that kids don't like her, and she's not so sure she likes them. Lorelai assures her that she'll like her own kid. Sookie says that, at family gatherings, when the kids perform for the grown-ups, she reads. Jackson's niece likes to sing Mariah Carey songs for everyone after dinner, but Sookie heckles. She has no desire to play with kids. Easter egg hunts bore her. She has never borrowed the neighbor's kid to look after for the afternoon. I am Sookie. She concludes: "'Come on, Jackson! Let's have a baby! I want to be a mommy!' I'm pathetic." Lorelai says she's not pathetic. Sookie is in tears as she realizes that she's going to be a bad mother: "I shouldn't be a parent." Lorelai says that there are many people who shouldn't have been parents, like Mr. And Mrs. Hitler, or the Bin Ladens. She insinuates that she's as bad as the aforementioned offspring by saying that Richard and Emily didn't need to procreate. Wait. Is she saying her parents are as evil as the elder Hitler and Bin Laden generations? Yikes. Lorelai concludes, "But you? No way. You're gonna be a great parent." Sookie asks how she knows. Lorelai says she saw Sookie with Rory growing up. "Who could not like Rory?" Sookie asks. I know a forum of girls who are dying to sign a petition, Sook. Lorelai assures Sookie that she'll be an amazing parent, and that her son is very lucky. Sookie nods, smiles, and says she guesses it'll be okay. They get up and stop crying. Sookie promises that she's okay. She checks on the other room and quickly comes back in to say that someone threw up on the table. Sookie tries not to throw up herself, but needs to leave the room and have Lorelai deal with it. Oh, man. What if your kid grew up to be truly evil? Like, kills people and destroys kind of evil? What do you do? And what if your kid turns out to be an asshole? Can you stop your child from being an asshole? ["I hear you." -- Wing Chun]
Yale. Rory puts on a robe and wanders out into the mail hallway. I don't know why, since she has a bathroom in her suite. But whatever. She finds a naked boy sleeping on the floor of her hall. It's actually the naked boy she's been seeing all day. And he's right by the entrance, which apparently has no security whatsoever. Rory wakes him up using the tie of her robe. They say hello to each other. "I'm on the floor," he says. "I have no clothes on." He realizes he's on the wrong floor. He asks how long he's been there. Rory doesn't know. "Great," he says. "Now for the rest of my time at Yale I'm going to be The Naked Guy." He says that tomorrow, when the nickname starts spreading, he'll be on his third hour of throwing up. Rory says there's a chance that nobody but her has seen him, since it's been quiet out there. She promises not to tell anybody. She says that if he refrains from passing out naked in future parties, he might get a completely different nickname, like the Never Naked Guy. He goes to stand, but Rory -- who hates all things sexual -- turns around and gives him her robe. As he dresses, he asks if she was in his Japanese Fiction class today. She says she was. He says his name is Marty. She introduces herself, but he says he won't remember that tomorrow. He says he should try to find his room and his pants, since his keys are in said pants. "So pants first," Rory tells him. As Marty slumps up the stairs (no elevators?), he complains that he's officially proved himself to be stupider than his brother -- something he never thought would happen.