Luke's. Luke's got some helper who sure isn't Jess and I've never seen him before. Rory and Lorelai walk in. Lorelai remarks that it's busy. Rory says that Luke gets good word-of-mouth. Lorelai says that they have to start spreading bad word-of-mouth if they want to keep getting a table. They debate briefly what kind of bad rumours they should spread, including vermin. Lorelai sees Luke talking to a customer and comments that it's strange to see him laughing and conversing with someone, since he's usually the "master of the monosyllable." Lorelai comments that Luke never flirts with any of the women. Rory says that he's flirted with Lorelai on more than one occasion, and tells her to flirt with him now so they can get some coffee. Lorelai flails a napkin in the air and "yoohoo"s for Luke to be attentive to their needs. Luke yells for Lorelai to cram it and sit on it until he's ready to serve them. Rory says she found a CD under the front seat of the car and was wondering whether Lorelai lost one. Lorelai says she didn't. Rory accuses Lorelai of hiding this particular CD. Lorelai asks why she would hide a CD. "I don't know," Rory says. "Bay City Rollers?" Lorelai says that it's not a Bay City Rollers CD and Rory traps Lorelai in her lie. She's been hiding Barry Manilow underneath the front seat of the car because he's her guilty pleasure. This CD has a live medley of all the commercials he's written. Rory says that Lorelai doesn't have to justify her Manilove to Rory. Lorelai says that's very diplomatic, considering Rory had a Bryan Adams poster over her bed. ["My sister and I argued for about five minutes at this point over whether Rory's too young to care about Bryan Adams or even know who he is. Ultimately we decided she might be." -- Wing Chun] Rory calls Lorelai a "fink." Lorelai tries to engage Luke in the conversation, but he's back to being monosyllabic. Rory orders breakfast, and Luke leaves. Lorelai asks whether Luke has dated anyone since Rachel. Rory says she doesn't know where Luke would have met any women anyway, since he's always in the diner or his apartment. Lorelai fantasizes that Luke's got a "little chippy" stowed away somewhere that he keeps on the side. Lorelai predicts that Luke's going to be a bachelor for life. Rory says there's someone out there for everyone. Rory starts laughing and admits she's thinking about Barry Manilow. She starts singing "Looks Like We Made It." Lorelai: "Oh, yeah? Spice Girls." Rory: "Duran Duran." Lorelai: "Dido." Rory: "Olivia Newton-John." Lorelai reminds Rory that she and Lane were doing the Macarena for hours and hours for weeks on end. Rory says they were mocking the Macarena and you can't mock the mocking. They decide to stop fighting and be friends again. They clink coffee mugs. Rory giggles and Lorelai yells for her to stop. Opening credits.
“ Lorelai asks what she ever did to make the battery so angry. Rory reminds Lorelai of the time she left the radio on in the car all night, killing the battery, and the time she left the lights on in the car all night, killing the battery, and the many times she's kept the door open all night thus leaving the overhead light on, killing the battery. Lorelai admits that she's done multiple things to make the battery mad. ”
Morning. Lorelai walks into the kitchen and tells Rory that the car's dead. She imitates the horrible sound it's making, adding that the actual sound is "less feminine." Rory diagnoses the problem as the battery. Lorelai asks what she ever did to make the battery so angry. Rory reminds Lorelai of the time she left the radio on in the car all night, killing the battery, and the time she left the lights on in the car all night, killing the battery, and the many times she's kept the door open all night thus leaving the overhead light on, killing the battery. Lorelai admits that she's done multiple things to make the battery mad. Rory asks whether Lorelai is going to walk. Lorelai says she's wearing heels. Rory tells her to change her shoes. Lorelai says she would have to change her outfit. To change her outfit, she'd have to walk upstairs. Rory says that it's like living with Zsa Zsa Gabor. Lorelai gets on the phone to call Michel as Rory complains that her backpack is too small to hold all of her books. Michel picks up the phone at the Independence Inn and Lorelai puts him on hold to tell Rory that her backpack isn't too small -- she's just got too many books. Michel has to stay on hold as Lorelai has a long conversation about Rory's many books. Rory has three different books for reading on the bus depending on her mood, books to read at lunch, essays, biographies, short stories and novels. Michel is losing his patience as Lorelai continues a conversation that doesn't involve him. ["I realized I was getting too involved in the show when I was getting vicariously furious on Michel's behalf because Lorelai was being so inconsiderate." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai tells Michel to come pick her up. Michel says he's already at work. She tells him to put Carol on the desk and to come pick her up. Michel Frenches that he's not speaking to Carol because she ate his low-fat cheese. Hee. Lorelai promises to buy Michel more low-fat American cheese if he comes and picks her up. Michel adds a cookie to that contract, and it's a deal. Rory brags that she fit all of her books in her bag. Lorelai shows her that she forgot her French book. Rory says she was planning on carrying her French book, anyway. Lorelai jokes that Rory's going to fall over backwards from the weight of the book, and Rory says goodbye.
Skip forward to lunch. Rory carries her tray over to a lunch table and sits down. She pulls out her book and her Discman. She starts blasting music and opens her can of juice. A woman practically shoves Rory's arm, startling Rory. The woman apologizes, and Rory says she startles easily. The woman introduces herself as the guidance counselor and asks Rory if they can have a chat soon. Rory says that would be fine, and the counselor asks Rory to stop by her office when she's done eating. Rory jokes about the meeting being so soon and asks what it's about. The counselor gives no hints, and just tells Rory to stop by when she's finished.
Chilton. Lorelai enters Headmaster Charleston's office for their meeting. Charleston is shocked that Lorelai has called the meeting, since they never see her around Chilton. Lorelai says she wanted to talk about Rory and how the Chilton administration thinks she's a loner. She says that Rory does what she wants, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, she doesn't see the problem. Headmaster Charleston says that Rory's behavior is hurting Rory. Lorelai disagrees. Charleston says he's not surprised at Lorelai's reaction, based on the research he's done. He pulls out a folder and tells Lorelai that it's her own file. Once Lorelai realizes that it's her file and not Rory's, she gets pretty impressed with herself for having such a small file. In high school, Lorelai's file was probably pretty big. Charleston says that parents aren't supposed to have small folders, because they record school involvement. He says that Lorelai hasn't been active enough in Chilton activities. Lorelai says that she went to a bake sale and even sold items, but Charleston points out that Lorelai left early. Lorelai says she has a busy schedule. "Like mother, like daughter," he says. Charleston guilt-trips Lorelai, and asks whether she's too busy to tend to Rory's needs of having an active parent on campus, setting a good example as a parent with social skills and a community consciousness. He gives Lorelai a list of parent groups on Chilton, and says that any one of them would be happy to have Lorelai as a member. Lorelai tries to get out of it, but Charleston's quick with the "be a good mommy" number. I still feel pretty horrible about the time I suckered my mother into being a Brownie leader, when she hates kids and all. I think I just didn't want to be a Brownie, and if my mom hated being there as much as I did, I could quit the troop without being a Bad Brownie. Lorelai stands and then asks whether she's allowed to leave. Charleston says she can leave, and tells her that he's glad she stopped by today. Lorelai leaves with her assignment, saying she's full of good ideas. Fade to commercial.
Why don't I have the eKara karaoke machine yet? Nobody loves me.
Rory finds Lorelai poring over her list in the kitchen. Rory asks Lorelai what happened at school today, because Lorelai was supposed to pick Rory up. I'd be so much more pissed than Rory is if my mom was at school and forgot to pick me up. I'd instantly accuse her of mugging down with Max in the chess room. I'm sure Chilton has a chess room, by the way. Rory asks what happened, and Lorelai tells her that she yelled at Charleston since Rory doesn't have a Matrix coat and that she got yelled at and called a bad Chilton Mom. Rory says that Lorelai's busy. Lorelai says that she doesn't help at school functions. Rory says that Lorelai sucks at arts and crafts. Lorelai says she doesn't chaperone school events. Rory reminds her that she got pregnant at sixteen. Lorelai says she's not doing her part in Rory's education. Rory says it sucks that they both got busted. Lorelai says she's going to find a club because she wants someone to write a good letter for Rory to get into Harvard. She says they should just go along with this evil plan so that Rory can get into Harvard and one day they'll buy Chilton and turn it into a rave club. Lorelai suggests the Chilton Cheer Society, where they wear matching hats.
“ Paris asks how Rory got to sit with 'The Puffs.' The word 'puff' will be repeated so many times it will become the funniest word in the world, by the way. ”
Rory slowly walks over to her lunch table and puts down her tray. She stops and turns behind her. A girl stands up to leave, so Rory walks over to ask if she can take that seat. She says there's a huge draft where she was sitting and was wondering if she could sit down. The head Heather with the red hair says she can. "Your name is Laurie," Red Heather says. Rory corrects her and asks for her name. "Francie," the girl sitting to Red Heather says. Rory asks whether the girl who said "Francie" is Francie. The "Francie"-sayer says that she's Ivy, and that Red Heather is named Francie. Francie says that important people never have to speak for themselves. Rory says that she just learned something new. The names of the girls around the table sound like Frances, Urine, Lily, Spleen, Bad Asia, Lana, Asia, Asia, Lem. Lem on the end says her name is short for Lemon, so I don't think I got most of the other names all that incorrectly. Francie says they were just discussing Homecoming, and asks Rory her thoughts. Paris walks by, carrying her tray. Rory says it was a great movie and then realizes she was thinking of Coming Home. Francie thinks that Homecoming should be put to sleep. She asks if she can call Rory "Ror." "Not unless provoked," Rory says. Slowly, Paris walks backwards into the frame, staring open-mouthed at Rory. Ivy asks whether Rory has a nickname, and Rory explains that her name is really Lorelai. "Lorelai! That's a weird name," says Lemon. Francie says that Lorelai sounds southern. She asks whether Rory is a belle. The bell rings, and Rory jokes that she can command them. The world's shortest lunch comes to a close as the table of Heathers gets up and leaves. Rory is very pleased with herself.
Out in the hallway, Paris is instantly at Rory's side. Rory jumps and likens Paris to a "pop-up book from hell." Paris asks how Rory got to sit with "The Puffs." The word "puff" will be repeated so many times it will become the funniest word in the world, by the way. Paris asks Rory how she got to sit at the Puff table. Rory says she just sat down. Paris says that nobody just sits down, and that you have to be invited to sit at the Puff Table. She says they're the most influential sorority at Chilton. Rory can't believe that Chilton has sororities. Paris says there are only ten sororities worth mentioning, and that the Puffs are at the top of that list. They've been #1 for decades. Paris's mother and aunt were Puffs. Rory says she thought only colleges had sororities. Paris says that Puff connections last for life. Paris's cousin Maddie got her Supreme Court internship because of Sandra Day O'Connor, a Puff who got the lunch table moved to the table at which Rory sat today. It was a controversial move back when Sandie did it. Rory says she had no idea. Paris asks what Rory said about Paris, and asks whether Rory said bad things. Rory says she didn't mention Paris. Paris says she's been sucking up to Francine Jarvis for over a year now. Rory asks whether she means Francie, and Paris is livid. She helped her with homework, got her a parking lot space, organized her locker, fluffed her pom-pon strands, and did everything she could except give her a manicure: "And by God, if I had any talent with an orange stick, I would have done that, too." Rory says that Paris is insane. Paris says she knows she and Rory don't get along, but the Puffs are so important to her. She has to get in the group. Her family's name, her future, her everything ride on her becoming a Puff. "It's just a clique," Rory says. Paris asks that Rory not say anything horrible about her. Rory says she's not in the clique. Paris argues that she is and says she doesn't care what Rory does or says anyway. She storms off as the bell rings.