Lorelai finds Rory in the living room and asks her for some advice. Lorelai has fashioned a veil out of some newspaper and a headband. "Huh," Rory says. "Have you tried the Arts and Leisure section?" Lorelai says that she's trying out veil lengths and needs Rory to be serious. Rory's not sure if she can be serious when Lorelai's wearing the newspaper on her head, but she says she'll give it a try. Lorelai's wearing a shirt that's surprisingly not a part of the ensemble. It's a gray sleeveless t-shirt with fake pearls all around like six necklaces. Lorelai goes on about the different kinds of veils she can wear, and stops herself when she sees that Rory is reading her. Rory grabs the section of newspaper on Lorelai's left shoulder and says, "This Putin arms race thing is getting really crazy." I don't care if there's really an arms race. All I know is I'm very happy that Vladimir Putin has been elected to his position because no matter how grim, horrible, and disastrous the past month has been, there hasn't been a more sure-fire way to get me to giggle than by having George W. Bush say the word "Putin." He says it in that way Texans mean someone is particularly farty, and I love it. "Putin." I'm giggling now. Lorelai asks Rory to help her with the most important fashion decision she'll ever make in her lifetime. Rory suggests that Lorelai go to a wedding design place. Rory asks Lorelai to bend over so she can see the weather. It's not as dirty as it sounds. Lorelai says she already went to Marry Me-Me's, but that place got her depressed. She says if you hadn't picked out your wedding dress back when you were in junior high, it's "off-the-rack for you, Missy." Lorelai says one dress gave her a rash. "And I've got to say, does anyone miss the bustle? Because I sure haven't." Lorelai says she's going to look gross and make children laugh and Max will realize he's made a mistake. Rory says it's time to go dress shopping. Lorelai tries to talk Rory into thinking she's busy, but Rory's not giving up. They leave to go shopping. There's the Gilmore Girls introduction I'm used to. They just don't have the opening credits here.
Hey, Paris. We missed you. The Chilton girls are looking over their summer schedules. Fraulein says she might not go to college. Louisa says that Princess Grace didn't go to college. "Thank you for the history lesson, A.J. Benza," Paris drones. Fraulein tells Paris to take a chill pill. "Marry rich," Paris counters. Rory walks up at this point and Fraulein asks her whether she's taking summer classes. Paris and Louisa share looks. Fraulein asks what the problem is. Rory reminds her that they are all supposed to hate her right now. "Tristan." "P.J. Harvey," they remind her in turn. Rory says she's just going to read the board. Fraulein tells Rory that there's a Rebuilding Together thing going on tomorrow, which is basically Habitat for Humanity. Paris is way unhappy that Fraulein is inviting Rory along on the house-building community-service stuff. It looks good on your transcript, Fraulein informs Rory. Rory says she'll think about it. Paris tells Rory that she won't like it. "Because you'll be there?" Rory asks. "Yes," Paris says. "I'll think about it," Rory repeats, and walks off.
Paris follows Rory, saying that Rory will really hate Rebuilding Together, and that it doesn't fit Rory's personality. Rory says that Paris doesn't know anything about her, and that maybe she loves hammering and drilling and dirt. Rory says that she collects dirt, in fact. "You're hilarious," Paris says. "You're pathetic," Rory counters. Nice to see Rory sticking up for herself in front of Paris for a change. Paris walks off, but Rory follows, asking why Paris is spending so much effort to get Rory not to come. Paris says she totally doesn't care. Rory says that Paris can't be mad for the rest of her life that she thought Philllipppe and Rory were going out when they weren't. Paris says that they don't have some kind of "deep Thelma and Louise" thing going. Rory says she's still going to go tomorrow. Paris tells Rory to see if she cares. Rory says she will see. Paris leaves, getting the last word. Louisa and Fraulein follow, but Fraulein gives a final wave to Rory. Henry walks up to Rory at this point and asks about her summer schedule. He tells her that he's taking Trig for the third time this session. She offers to help and he says he might take her up on it. I'm glad they've brought Henry back. He stammers and stares at Rory until she tells him that Lane's okay. Lane. Remember Lane, Rory? Your friend who's getting shipped to Korea in minutes? Henry says that he called Lane, but that he kept getting MamaLane, and that he'd hang up and after the thirteenth time, she threatened to call the FBI and have him put in prison. He says he's pretty sure that the punishment didn't fit the crime, but that MamaLane sounded capable of getting things done. Rory says she'll tell Lane he hasn't forgotten her. Henry gives Rory his phone number to give to Lane. Rory calls him back when she sees he's given her his trig notes. "I think we may have nailed down the problem," she says, as Henry grins.
Speaking of nailing things, Lorelai is teasing Rory about going to build a house the day. Rory doesn't find it so funny. The girls pull up to Emily's house (I guess it's Friday night again) as Lorelai jokes that Rory still has a dead lightbulb in her closet. Rory says that Rebuilding Together is for charity. Lorelai pulls out the old joke that these poor people have it rough already and shouldn't have to suffer Rory's non-existent carpentry skills as well. Rory says she'll just be assisting others who need help and that it'll look good on her transcript and that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. At the door, Lorelai starts to pull off her engagement ring; Rory asks Lorelai when she plans on telling Emily about the engagement. Lorelai doesn't want to tell her just yet. Rory says that the wedding is in three months, and that Lorelai should tell her now. She says she can tell them before dinner. Lorelai says she'll tell them when she's ready, and that since she's the mother and Rory's the daughter, Rory should probably listen to her, since that's the cultural norm. Rory threatens to tell Emily in two weeks if Lorelai doesn't. Lorelai comments that this must not be one of those cultures where daughters have to listen as Rory rings the doorbell. Emily answers the door and says they'll have to eat quickly since Richard has an early flight the day. Emily leaves them at the door and walks to the dining room, as Lorelai makes small talk with herself at the entrance. I don't know why, but they've got Rory in a big floral dress and cardigan again, making her look like she's pregnant or a crazy girl.
In the dining room, Emily is barking orders to the maid to hurry things up, and calls for Richard to come to the table. Rory and Lorelai sit down to eat their salads. Emily tells them to eat. Lorelai jokes that only Richard is in a hurry, and that she and Rory can stay all night, playing games, doing Jell-O shots, playing Light As a Feather; Stiff As a Board. Emily eats without looking up from her plate. Lorelai gives up. Richard walks in and asks why they started eating without him. Emily tells him he has a 6 AM flight tomorrow. Richard asks whether she's sure. Emily goes on insisting that she's completely sure because she checked it with his secretary three times and left a note for him on the table. She realizes that Richard is teasing her. "Very possible," he says. Emily says she doesn't find it amusing, and Richard says that's why it's called teasing. Richard says hello to Lorelai and asks Rory if he may speak to her outside. Rory leaves the table and follows. Lorelai tries to engage Emily in a conversation, but Emily's pointedly not talking to her.
Outside, Richard wants to make sure everything is okay after last week. Rory says that he already called about this last week, that she knows he's sorry, and that she's forgiven him for everything. Richard says that they've never fought before, and that he didn't like it. They hug and everything is better. I've never had a grandfather, so I don't really have a story to share here to get all wistful, but I sure wish I knew what it was like to have a Grampa hug me and apologize for being a grumpy old coot. I'm getting downhome-y with my recap jargon, aren't I? Must be the townies.
As they walk in, Richard asks Rory to follow him so that he can give her his present. Lorelai asks where they're going. Richard says they'll just be a moment. Lorelai tells them to hurry up because they're missing a hell of a conversation. Richard and Rory walk off. Lorelai tries to small talk about the salad dressing. It's lemony. "Nothing like a nice salad of lemony goodness," Lorelai says. Lorelai puts down her fork and says she needs to tell Emily something. She asks Emily to stop eating for a second so she can tell her. Emily puts down her fork and listens. "Okay, um. You know Max," Lorelai begins. "No, I don't," Emily interrupts. Lorelai: "Well, I know you don't know him, but you know of him, right?" Emily: "I've heard rumblings." Lorelai: "Right. Well, um, the...Max and I have been serious for quite a while now and he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I'm getting married." Lorelai holds up her hand to show off the engagement ring. Emily doesn't even move to say, "Well, I think that's very nice. I certainly hope we'll be in town for it, but if not we'll send a nice gift. Now, excuse me, I'm going to check on the roast." Emily gets up and walks out of the dining room. Lorelai nods and stares at the table as we go to commercial. See? This is the Gilmore Girls I'm used to. Things are back to normal after that silly last episode. No CuteDean talking, no overuse of Townie humor. Wait? Lane is still getting shipped to Korea? Doesn't anybody care? Korea! Forever!
Lorelai and Rory walk through Stars Hollow to Luke's. Lorelai insists that she's okay as Rory apologizes. She says it was inevitable: she shouldn't have told Emily. Rory says that Lorelai was trying to be nice. She says maybe Emily will call and apologize. Lorelai tells Rory that when she was opening her mouth to tell Emily she was getting married, her mind was telling her to stop talking. Her mouth didn't listen and it opened and the words came out and her mouth was stunned. Her mind said "I told you so," and her mouth got mad because no mouth likes to have its nose rubbed in it and now her mind and her mouth are mad at each other and won't be talking for weeks. As they walk into Luke's diner, Rory asks, "Your mouth has a nose?"
Lorelai says she's crabby. Rory says she's just hungry because she didn't eat any dinner. Lorelai says that the second she got her jaw off the ground, Emily had taken her plate. Rory says that Luke will cheer her up. Luke moans that he's great at spreading joy. Lorelai and Rory joke over whether Lorelai needs to eat a "Rant" meal or an "Acceptance" meal. Luke says that today must have been a good Oprah. Lorelai briefs Luke on what happened at Emily's house, prompting Luke to share the wisdom, "There's nothing like a wedding to screw up a family." Lorelai says that, in her case, there's nothing like a family to screw up a family. Luke says that this is supposed to be a good time, a happy time, a "I want to die when you die" time, and a "My life meant nothing until you used my toothbrush" time. But once you start planning the wedding, everyone's got a problem or an issue and you're so concerned about making everyone else in your life happy, you lose all the joy of your special day. Luke says it'll still be a disaster because someone's always getting drunk, cheating on someone, or starting a food fight. Lorelai says that the Gettysburg Address was only one page long, and that was about a war. Luke says that he just calls them as he sees them. Lorelai orders the "Luke's Giving Lorelai a Migraine" meal. With both ranch and bleu cheese. Luke leaves to get the food. I would think that Lorelai would love to drone to Luke about how shitty weddings are. I'm surprised she's actually upbeat about the ceremony at this early stage in the game.
Rory's got her overalls on, and she's worried about the time. She's all ready to go build some houses. Lorelai is pouring coffee into a Thermos for Rory. She says she made Rory something really cool that she has to give her right now. It's a hammer covered in pink feathers, rhinestones, and bells. Lorelai tells Rory to build a really pretty house with it. "How long's it going to take to talk you out of giving that to me?" Rory asks. Lorelai says it'll take at least an hour or two, so Rory takes the frilly hammer. Lorelai tells Rory to be careful and not to fall down any wells.
Rory opens the door to go do some charity work, oblivious to the real trauma occurring at Lane's house, only to find Lane standing in her doorway holding boxes. Rory tells Lane that she's building houses today, and Lane swears she won't take too long. She's brought Rory all of her contraband stuff, like CDs and cool clothes that she knows her mother will confiscate while she's in Korea. Rory says she'll treat the stuff like it's her own. And since she doesn't care that Lane's never coming back, I imagine she'll have no problem acting like the stuff is her own, and pretending she never knew Lane anyway. Lane hands Rory the Lane Kim Retrieval Kit. It contains a map of her cousin's house, a picture of her now, and a mock-up of her in six months. "You've lost some weight," Rory jokes. Lane hands her the name of her American Consulate contact, and several key Korean phrases written phonetically, like, "Have you seen this girl?" and "Help." Rory asks whether there's a return date yet. Lane says there isn't, and that her parents bought her a winter coat. Rory asks when Lane leaves. Lane says that she leaves right after Lorelai's wedding party. Rory shushes her, and they both listen for the squeal of Lorelai. Lane apologizes and asks whether Lorelai might have heard them. Rory says that Lorelai would certainly start grilling them with questions if she heard them so that she wouldn't risk clashing with the party décor. Lane says she has to go. Rory asks whether Lane called Henry. Lane says she did. He likes her. He's perfect. She'll never see him again. She tells Rory she can read all about it in her autobiography: A Connecticut Yankee in Pusan. Lane leaves, and Rory still hasn't done a thing to make her feel better. If they just said that Lane went through this every year or something, I wouldn't feel like Rory's abandoning her, but this really doesn't seem like something Rory would do. Lane usually comes pretty high on Rory's list of priorities.
CuteDean walks up just as Rory leaves to go build houses. She tells him she has to go build a house. He asks again where she's going. She says she's serious, and that CuteDean can go in the house and continue the Rory's Building A House routine with Lorelai until they get bored and move on to Who's On First?. CuteDean asks Rory how long she's going to be gone. Rory says that this will probably take all day. CuteDean wanted to see a movie or get something to eat. He offers to watch her browse in a bookstore for six or seven hours. Rory says that she has to do this today, and can't blow it off. CuteDean asks whether he mentioned the bookstore for six or seven hours. Rory asks if they can get together tonight instead. They can get pizza and CuteDean can watch Rory order books off Amazon.com, which might be just as thrilling. But with more kissing, I'm guessing. CuteDean sighs and says, "Deal." Rory runs off.
Rebuilding Together. Rory interrupts a man with a saw who then starts the "Don't Touch the Man with the Saw" routine that goes on way too long. Rory says she's from Chilton, and the man takes Rory over to the other school kids. He asks to see Rory's hammer. Rory pulls out the fluffy thing and promises there's a real hammer underneath. She says her mother likes to take things that aren't pretty, and dress them up to make them pretty. She says Lorelai once took all of her Liquid Paper bottles and made outfits for them: a clown, a cowboy, a newscaster. Rory promises that her mother isn't actually a crazy woman. Sawguy gives Rory a helmet and some safety glasses. He tells Rory to wear sunscreen and drink water, and that the words "Duck or Run" mean "Duck or Run." Rory says that she's never done this before. He says that tomorrow she won't be able to say that. Rory says that people actually have to live in this house she's building, and that she should probably get more instruction than that. Sawguy tells Rory to ask her neighbor if she's having trouble. "Hey, eh, ih -- Look out!" someone shouts into a microphone off-camera. A beam falls and doesn't hit Rory or Sawguy because they watch it fall in front of them. Sawguy tells Rory she catches on quickly, since he didn't even tell her about the "look out" rule. Rory puts down her backpack and just grabs a nail. She starts to hammer on some board for no real reason until Paris interrupts her. Paris says that this is her turf, and that Rory needs to find somewhere else to work. She says she put together this entire wall. "Go help with cement," she says. I really like Paris. Rory is really impressed that Paris put together this wall all by herself. Paris says she's done it a million times and that it's no big deal. She yells at Louisa to use a different axe for her job and Louisa shouts, "Bite me." Rory smiles and says she never pictured Paris as the Bob Vila type. Paris isn't joking around, and says that these things are important if you want to go to Harvard. She says this is a prestigious organization and that she's been volunteering there for years: "When you apply to an Ivy League school you need more than good grades and test scores to get in." She says it's the extra stuff that gets you in. She started volunteering in the fourth grade, handing out cookies. By ten she was leading a study group where the youngest person in the group was twelve. She's been a camp counselor, she organized a senior illiteracy program, she worked a suicide hotline, and she's manned a runaway center. She's adopted dolphins, taught sign language, and trained Seeing-Eye dogs. Rory asks when Paris had time for a life. Paris says she'll get a life after Harvard. Paris excuses herself, saying, "The drainage on the south side of this place sucks." Paris walks off as Fraulein bops by and says hello to Rory. Paris calls her away.
Rory gets off her bus; CuteDean's already waiting for her. He asks how it went. She says it was a long day. CuteDean's ready to go see Barbarella and wants Rory to bring Lorelai's monkey-face purse so that they can sneak in some candy. Rory stops walking and says she can't do anything tonight because she has a lot of planning to do. She says she's about ten years behind on her extra-curricular activities. She explains to CuteDean that she hasn't done enough to get into Harvard, and that she has to do some volunteer work quickly to make up for it. CuteDean asks why she has to start now and cancel their plans for the evening. Rory says she needs to plan everything because she's so behind. She says she needs to get organized. CuteDean says that summertime is when you hang out and kick back. Rory's face scrunches as she says, "I can't hang out or kick back. I need to find a retarded kid and teach him how to play softball." That's the best line of this episode, by the way. Rory says she's under-qualified and horrible. They're deep into a fight by now, and CuteDean is upset that Rory's blowing him off after already blowing him off once today. He figured that since they just got back together, she might want to spend some time with him. She says that this is about Harvard. CuteDean forgot that Harvard is more important than he is, and he walks off. He says she doesn't have time for him anymore and expresses irritation that none of this can wait one night. Rory asks why he's acting like he's two. CuteDean says he doesn't care about Harvard and just wanted to hang out with his girlfriend, but since he's only two, perhaps he'll grow out of it. They walk off in different directions from the gazebo. Commercial.
Someone stop Carrot Top. I don't have the strength to fight anymore.
Lorelai finds Rory in the kitchen. She says she's too tired to go out tonight, so she needs Rory's opinion on the purse that she's going to wear. "I have no wilderness skills!" Rory shouts. "So, you hate the purse?" Lorelai asks. Rory says she can't get into Harvard without wilderness skills. The Fireflies need troop leaders with wilderness skills. Rory blames Lorelai for her lack of skills. Lorelai says that Rory wouldn't even touch wet grass until she was three. She offers to toss Rory off the second floor and see if she survives the fall. Rory says the Sunnyside Home needs an accordion player for their polka party. The library only has twelve books, so they probably don't need any help. The town where I grew up had a library that was literally a trailer, so I know how Rory feels. I was so depressed when I saw that library. Lorelai tells Rory to calm down. She says she'll catch up, but that she can't do it tonight. She already made out all of her lists and her phone calls. Lorelai suggests that Rory call up CuteDean and have him come over. Rory says that they're in a fight because Lorelai never took her camping. Lorelai says that she's really sucking tonight. She tells Rory that she'll cancel with Max and they can make popcorn and reminisce about the fact that Lorelai never forced her to become a missionary. Rory tells her to go. Lorelai wants to help, but Rory doesn't want any help. Lorelai says she'll be home early and that Rory should really call CuteDean. Lorelai adds that CuteDean just sits in his room all day long and thinks about Rory. Rory tells Lorelai to leave. Lorelai does a few CuteDean impressions and then finally leaves.
At her dinner, Lorelai is pouty and Max is frustrated because he knows this can't be good for the Booty Factor. He asks whether Lorelai hates her food. Lorelai says she doesn't want to mess up her food since someone made it look like a tiny hat. She says that Rory's freaking out about her extra-curriculars. Max says he can help her out with that. He asks what else is wrong. Lorelai says there's lots to think about with the wedding. Max told his parents today. He says his mother cried twice and said that Lorelai can call her "Mom" if she wants to. His father took him aside and had a long discussion about pleasing women. "Ooh, dirty talk," Lorelai laughs. Max pulls out a check, saying that they gave it to him. Lorelai says that they were going to pay for the wedding themselves and that they didn't need any help. Sookie's making the cake, the ceremony is at her house, and Patty's supplying the chairs. She opens the check. It's for $35. Max says that it's the first of four payments so that they don't spend it all in one place. Lorelai and Max laugh over Max's cheap parents. And what are they, like, seventy-five? That's their Social Security check there, isn't it? Lorelai says it's all very sweet. Max says that his mother offered Lorelai her wedding dress, but since he could fit three Lorelais in it, he lied and told his mother that Lorelai was going to wear her own mother's gown. Lorelai pouts and says she wants dessert. She says it's great his parents are happy and into everything. Max says they're kind of her parents now, too, and that she can be a part of it. Lorelai says that she'll have to think if it that way or she'll be jealous. She starts yelling about the way Emily reacted to her announcement. Max says that there's so much baggage between her and her parents. Lorelai says that Emily should have lied instead of saying what she said. Max starts getting involved, and Lorelai pretty much shuts him up, which she should do since he's never met these people and he really has no right to judge or offer advice on family and strangers. Lorelai says she wants to go. Max asks whether they can go somewhere else and talk. Lorelai has an idea of where she needs to go and talk.
In the car, Max is yammering that he understands what Lorelai and Emily must be going through, and Lorelai is smartly ignoring him. She's just barking out directions of where to turn the car and when to stop the car. He has no idea what he's talking about, and also no idea where he's going because he's suddenly stopped in front of Emily's door. Max tries to stop Lorelai from talking to Emily right now, when she's so emotional, but Lorelai thinks now is the perfect time to talk. She rings the doorbell about fifteen times. Max asks Lorelai to wait until tomorrow to calm down. Lorelai tells him he can wait in the car because she's not going to be very long. Emily opens the door and Lorelai lets herself in. Lorelai asks how Emily is doing. Emily says that she's fine. Lorelai says she's glad to see that, but that she's not fine herself. Emily tells Lorelai that she and Richard were just about to go to sleep. Lorelai says that they can't do this in the morning, and that they need to talk right now. She says she's confused about the way Emily reacted. "Why can't you keep a maid in this house?" she asks. Emily says this doesn't need to be discussed right now. Lorelai says these women have survived dictatorships and famine and horrible lives, but five minutes with Emily Gilmore and they have to quit. Emily starts to leave, but Lorelai stops her to ask why Emily can't muster up a little bit of happiness when her only daughter announces she's going to be married: "Why don't you pretend that you care?" She says this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to her and she doesn't understand why Emily has never cared about what's happened to her in her entire life. Emily says she's not discussing this right now. Lorelai's in tears, asking Emily whether she knows what it feels like to say she was getting married and to have it just brushed off like that. Emily shouts back that she doesn't know, but she assumes it might be similar to the feeling she got when a total stranger told her that her daughter was getting married and had told everyone else in the world before she told her own mother. Emily excuses herself to bed as Lorelai stands there open-mouthed. Emily opens the door for them to leave. Lorelai leaves without a word. Max stops and opens his stupid mouth. He says that his parents would like to have lunch with Richard and Emily soon. "Nice meeting you," he says, before taking his dumb ass out of the house. Good job, Max. You were right where you were needed, saying the right thing at every moment. Why is he here?
Independence Inn. Sookie is asking Michel's opinion on some cookies. Michel doesn't feel like giving an opinion. Why are there suddenly so many people working behind the front desk? Where's Drella? Michel says that he's working and doesn't want to pick a cookie. Sookie says it's really important to have the right cookie for the party. Michel says that if he eats something with that amount of calories, he won't be able to have his Boca Burger later. Lorelai walks in asking for coffee. Sookie hides the cookies behind her back and says she forgot to make coffee. Lorelai goes to do it, and Sookie tries to stop her, saying she'll make the coffee. She tries to keep Lorelai from going into the kitchen, but Lorelai walks in anyway.
The kitchen is filled with wedding foods for the party. Someone has shelled out major cash for Sookie's party. Who foots this bill? The Inn? Sookie? Lorelai? Lorelai is deeply touched and teary seeing all of the pretty cookies and food all over the kitchen. She asks whether there's any pink icing left in the state. Lorelai says it's amazing. Sookie has made ice sculptures as well. She says the party is tonight, and that she was lying when she said she had a baseball game to go to. Lorelai asks whether Sookie called her mother about the party. Sookie said she was torn, but figured Lorelai would want her parents there. Sookie keeps talking faster than any fingers can type, saying that Lorelai found out about the party from her mother and she thought she told Emily it was a surprise but she might not have told her and it would have been just like her to forget to tell Emily something that important. Ow. I'm done with that sentence. Take a breath. Sookie asks whether Lorelai's parents are coming. Lorelai says her parents are busy. Sookie says she'll save them a piece of cake. "That would be nice," Lorelai says.
Stars Hollow sure knows how to throw a party. The entire place is covered in lights and party favors and music. There are three hundred presents behind Max and Lorelai, who sit in thrones. Now, if the wedding is in three months, what kind of presents did they get, here? Kirk walks through the party with a megaphone, announcing that the buffet line is clogging in Sector B. There are so many people living in Stars Hollow now, and they're all sitting at tables together, eating food and listening to music. Others are dancing. It's very casual. Rory wears another horrible dress, this time with blue paisleys, and hands Lane a CD. "Hey, Mr. DJ. Put a record on," she tells Lane, adding that everything sounds great, but that she might want to ease off on playing any more of The Damned. Lane asks what time it is. It's eight. Lane's flight's at ten. "Have I told you how much I'm going to miss you?" Rory asks. Uh, no, Rory. Not really. Lane tells Rory that she has to write to her every day with positive reinforcement. Rory says she'll tie yellow ribbons around old oak trees. Lane says she'll be back for the wedding as long as Lorelai doesn't change the date. Rory says that won't be a problem because Max is teaching a summer course at the University of Toronto (hello, shout-out) and won't be back until the summer's over. Look how in two sentences they just got rid of Lane and Max for what is supposed to be the entire summer. Does week start the end of summer, since it's still, like, June in Stars Hollow? Why is it still June? And when did Lane find out she'd be back in time for Lorelai's wedding? How does she know that? Is she just getting flown in for the wedding?
Max unwraps a giant Hello Kitty and tells Lorelai that every gift so far has been for her. Maybe because nobody knows who the fuck you are, creepy English teacher? Lorelai says she's the queen of Stars Hollow, and he is just her jester. He says he happily accepts that position and leans in for a kiss. Lorelai says she doesn't know how he can just leave for two months. I'm wondering, too, if the wedding is in three months. How can he just hop away and leave her to have to plan everything? Max says he wants Lorelai to come with him to Toronto. Lorelai says she has to work. Max says that two months is a long time and she might not like him when he gets back. God willing. Why are they just throwing this in here all of a sudden? Lorelai says there's a good possibility that she'll like him just as much when he gets back, and she'll be all ready to get married to him. They kiss. Two little girls run by in bridal gowns.
The girls jump into the gazebo, where Miss Patty is about to start the dance of the tiny brides. It's about seven little girls in bridal gowns, tapping to "Love Will Keep Us Together." Rory sees Kirk watching the girls dancing and asks why he's not up there. Kirk explains that he doesn't tap anymore. "Bum knees," he says. He worries that the gazebo won't hold all the "hoofers," since they wouldn't do a test run for him like he asked. Rory says that the studs and the 2x4s and the what-nots all look pretty good. She uses the actual jargon and then brags that she built a house yesterday. Except that she didn't, and yesterday was Friday and this is Saturday (according to Sookie's party plans) and Rory built the house last weekend when she was in a fight with CuteDean. Kirk leaves to yell at other party-goers for tossing Jordan Almonds.
CuteDean walks up to Rory and says this is quite a party. "Elegant and understated, just like my mother," Rory smiles. CuteDean apologizes for the fight, and Rory apologizes back. They say they missed each other. CuteDean says it was stupid to be jealous of Harvard because he loves that she wants to go there, and he doesn't know why he got so upset. Rory says she sometimes gets tunnel vision about Harvard, and she doesn't want him to feel unimportant. He says he doesn't feel unimportant. Rory says the only way he could be more important to her is if he had a Kit Kat bar growing out of his head. CuteDean says he can't make any promises, but he will try. Rory apologizes again. CuteDean says he doesn't have the kind of pressure she's got, since he's not going to a fancy school. Rory says he could go to a fancy school because he's smart and she could help him with his extra-curriculars. "One Fine Day" starts up as CuteDean asks whether she accepts his apology. She does, and they kiss as the camera pans up.
The little brides are all dancing on the gazebo. Max and Lorelai hold hands at their thrones, but Lorelai is now staring at Luke's. It's had a makeover since two episodes ago; now it has a fancy sign and doesn't say "hardware" anywhere. Max asks Lorelai whether she's okay. Lorelai says she is, but she keeps staring at Luke's. She excuses herself for a second.
Kirk is yelling on the megaphone that nobody can have more than three treats, and that if anyone is caught with more than three treats, that person could be ejected from the party. Lorelai walks up and asks to borrow the megaphone for a second. Kirk hands it to her. Lorelai walks away. Kirk stands and pouts, realizing he just got his toy taken away.
Lorelai finds Luke filling his ketchup bottles. He asks what she's doing there, and she says she's asking him the same question. Luke says he's busy. Lorelai comments that they keep making that ketchup slower and slower. She says it's pretty crazy at the party. Lots of people having fun. She says he'd be miserable, but she'd really like him to join her, and suggests that he finish the ketchup but leave the Worcestershire sauce for tomorrow. Luke says he'll see what he can do. Lorelai says it's a big day for her and it feels like he should be there. She awkwardly excuses herself back to the party. Luke stares at his ketchup.
Sookie's very pleased with the success of the party. She's cooing to Jackson that the whole thing is so romantic and is making her all giddy. She says that Lorelai and Max are in love and everything is perfect. Jackson screams that he gets it and doesn't need a piano to fall on his head. Sookie says nobody wants a piano to fall on his or her head. Jackson says he understands: "I'm hip, okay?" He says he knows he and Sookie are in that part of the relationship where they have to discuss everything, so he wants to tell her he's not ready for marriage. Sookie says that's okay. Jackson says he'd be willing to move in with her. Sookie starts giggling, saying he's hilarious. "I'll move in with you," she says in a deep voice. She keeps calling him a riot, laughing hysterically as Jackson says he wasn't kidding and it's not a joke. Sookie never stops laughing as she leaves. She says she's getting a cramp from all the laughing as Jackson shouts that he's going to move in.
Miss Patty and Kirk slow dance. Kirk holds a napkin between them.
CuteDean and Rory sit on a bench. Rory's on CuteDean's shoulder with her hands tucked under her chin. Who sits like that? CuteDean is stroking her arm. Rory looks over and sees Lane get into her station wagon with the giant suitcase on top. Rory quietly waves to Lane. Lane waves back, gets in the car, and drives off. Unbelievable. Not a hug? Not a tear? What the hell? Three months, at least, Lane's going to be in Korea. Rory and CuteDean fight about not being able to see each other for one night, and Rory doesn't even stand up to see her friend off to another country for the summer? What the hell is going on? Such a lame little wave, all, "I'm with my boyfriend, but bye!" The Kims drive off as CuteDean kisses Rory on the head.
Max and Lorelai slow dance. Lorelai looks over his shoulder and sees Luke sitting on a bench. Her face brightens as Luke smiles at her. She waves. Luke sits on a bench where three tiny bride dancers stare at him. Luke watches Lorelai, looks down at his hands, and then sees the dancers staring at him as the song ends.
Emily's house. The doorbell rings. Emily asks Marina to get the door. Another new maid, see. It's Lorelai, and she wants to ask Emily's opinion on veils. Emily says that Lorelai is capable of making that decision on her own. Lorelai drops the veils and sighs. She apologizes. Without looking up from her letter, Emily says, "All right. You're sorry." Lorelai says she doesn't know how to tell Emily things. Lorelai sits down and talks, but Emily never looks up from her paper. Lorelai says they don't communicate very well: "When something good happens to me, I'm just afraid you're going to make me feel bad about it. And when something bad happens to me, I'm afraid you'll say, 'I told you so.'" She says that she's to blame for this circle, and she knows that; she thinks Emily doesn't know that her words affect Lorelai, but they do. She didn't want to feel bad about the engagement, so she waited to tell Emily, but she didn't mean to hurt Emily's feelings. Lorelai says that she'll go now, and let Emily get back to her letter. Lorelai stands up to leave. "Your head is much too big for a veil," Emily spits. Lorelai turns back around in the silence. "You might consider a tiara," Emily tells her. "A tiara?" Lorelai asks. Emily says, "That's what I wore." Lorelai has this look like, "That's the cutest thing you've ever said." They share an understanding look. Lorelai says she'll take that advice into consideration. Lorelai leaves and Emily looks off as we fade to black.