Hey, everybody. We're back. I know you missed your Gilmore fix. First things first. Dear Amy Sherman-Palladino: I love your show. I love your writing. I'm very happy that you're executive producer on your own show. I think it's neat that your husband often directs these episodes. I would like to ask that you no longer direct the episodes, though. You have a tendency to film the actors in a way that makes them look over-painted, tired and dirty. You have strange camera angles that don't follow how our eyes want to go. You have a tendency to lay on the symbolism just a tad thick. Can you please keep writing and executive producing? If you look at the differences between this episode and the one, you should be able to see what I mean pretty easily. Thanks. Love, Pamie.
Previously on Gilmore Girls: Lorelai and Rory are mother and daughter, but they're just like sisters. Rory loved CuteDean. Mustang Max, Rory's teacher, proposed to Lorelai, but she might actually love Luke. "Now a future must be chosen," the announcer tells us. Here we go.
The yellow daisies are still decorating Stars Hollow, so it's just the day after the last episode. Rory tells Lorelai she should get married in Italy. Lorelai doesn't want to keep talking about the wedding she hasn't decided on yet. Rory carries a bundle of yellow daisies. She says that Lorelai should walk down the aisle to some Frank Sinatra and carry a bouquet of something that smells good. "Pot roast," Lorelai offers. ["I carried a cured ham. Ah, memories." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai asks again to change the subject, since she hasn't made up her mind; she doesn't want to fantasize until then. Rory thinks the bridesmaids should pick their own dresses. Lorelai tells Rory that she can't stop thinking about how Archie Bunker would pretend to hang himself whenever Edith was yammering on. Rory says she's done, and that she's taking the bundle of flowers to Lane's. They agree to meet up at Luke's. Rory asks Lorelai to pick up a newspaper for her, and Lorelai jokes that they make her hands black.
I'm so glad they didn't change any of the opening credits. Oh, wait! They added CuteDean and Paris to the opening credits. Huzzah!
Lane and MamaLane are bickering as Rory walks up. Lane asks MamaLane to give her a hint. "Parents should know what their children can handle," MamaLane says. "I'm sorry. Was that the hint?" Lane asks. MamaLane walks off. Lane follows. Rory finds Lane and gives her the flowers. She asks whether Lane's okay. Lane says she's certainly not okay. "Did yout mom find your CD burner?" Rory whispers. Lane says that she's getting shipped to Korea for the summer to stay with her cousins. This doesn't seem to bum Rory out in the slightest. Lane then adds that there's no return date: the ticket is one-way. Rory asks whether Lane's sure. Lane's called the airlines to confirm it, and MamaLane is humming and happy after discussing things with Lane's father all morning. Rory tries to get Lane to calm down, but Lane knows that these are her final moments in America. She says it's going to be just like the Sally Field movie where she goes to look for her daughter. Rory says that Lane's reacting prematurely, and that there's probably a reason she doesn't have a return flight yet -- like a holiday, or an airline mix-up, or a discount rate. Lane shakes her head, and Rory says she'll really miss her. MamaLane sing-songs for Lane to come into the other room. "I have to go," Lane says. She puts her hand on Rory's shoulder and gravely says, "You've been a good friend." Lane walks off stoically. I can't believe Rory's not even upset. ["That was odd." -- Wing Chun]
Lorelai walks over to the newly installed newspaper stand in Stars Hollow. Let's hope that Newspaper Stand Man is just a one-time occurrence. Bootsy is his name. I'm hoping that's a shout-out to Savannah Smiles. Or Parliament Funkadelic. Bootsy reads from his tabloid that they shoot pig gland into Ivanna Trump's ass twice a month to keep her looking young. "Wow, hope she's not Kosher," Lorelai jokes. "I don't know. Doesn't say here," Bootsy says, for no comedic effect. Lorelai starts to walk off, and finds that the entire right side of the newsstand is covered in bridal magazines. She slows down and eventually walks backwards and stares at the magazines. Happy music starts to play. Lorelai raises her hand to touch one of the magazines and Bootsy says, "Hey!" Lorelai jumps back, the happy music abruptly stops, and I'm getting Ally McBeal flashes in a way that makes me uncomfortable. Bootsy asks whether Lorelai's a Leo. Lorelai says she's not. Bootsy says that's a good thing because "those guys are screwed this week." Wacky music starts up again, and Lorelai grabs a magazine. She opens it and starts looking at the dresses. She makes a few noises and shakes her head. Bootsy keeps reading his tabloid. "Whatcha reading?" Rory interrupts. Wacky music gets yanked, and Lorelai tells Rory to not sneak up on a person like that. Rory's beaming over the wedding material. She asks Lorelai whether she got any ideas. Lorelai says they should have cake more often. Rory pays for the magazine. Miss Patty walks up at this moment and freaks out when she sees the bridal magazine in Lorelai's hand. Miss Patty and Rory celebrate that Lorelai said yes. Lorelai reminds them that she's still standing right there and she hadn't said yes yet. Patty says that Max is a great man. ["Patty is clearly high." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai agrees. Patty asks Lorelai whether she's told Luke yet. Lorelai says she hasn't, because it just happened last night. Patty gets very solemn. Lorelai says it's not a big deal, adding that she's on her way over right now, and will tell him then. "Be gentle," Patty says. Lorelai says that she and Luke are.... "Just friends," Patty echoes with Lorelai. Patty's got daisies chained around her neck. Rory grabs Lorelai by the shoulders and pushes her towards Luke's. "Well, it is," Lorelai says to Rory as they walk off. Rory says she knows. Behind Rory and Lorelai, Patty's assembling a group of townies, whispering that Lorelai is about to tell Luke the news. Lorelai wonders why nobody believes her about Luke. Lorelai and Rory chatter on about nothing as a very large group of people gathers behind Lorelai and Rory like Drew Carey's about to bust out with a song and dance number. Slow, strummy music plays as Lorelai and Rory walk towards Luke's. Lorelai and Rory turn around to see the crowd that's gathered behind them. Lorelai and Rory turn around sharply at the same time and the crowd all turns around and pretends to be just milling around outside of Luke's. Lorelai says she can't wait for the movie theater to re-open as they walk inside.
Lorelai and Rory take a seat at the table by the windows as the crowd of extras over-enthusiastically fills in all gaps of space behind them. The extras are all pointing and cooing and gossiping as if everyone needs to be told which one is Luke, which one is Lorelai, and which show they're on. Rory looks at the group that's gathered and asks Lorelai to go tell Luke. Rory says someone's going to be pushed through that window in about five minutes. Lorelai asks why this is such a big deal for everyone. Rory says that everyone knows that Luke has a thing for Lorelai. Lorelai argues that Luke doesn't have a thing for her, and Rory tells Lorelai to go tell him. Lorelai says that she and Luke argue all the time, she repulses him with her eating habits, and he hates it when she calls him Ranger Bob.
Lorelai walks over to the counter. Luke says the fresh coffee will be ready in a minute. "Unless you want to just roll up a dollar bill and go nuts," he says, and I enjoy my first laugh of the new season. Luke notices the crowd outside and calls the town "crazy." He says everyone should be medicated and put in a room with Ping-Pong tables and hand puppets. Lorelai looks down at her hands and says that she has something to share with him. She says that you want to share exciting things in your life with people in your life who might find them exciting. Luke asks what it is. Lorelai starts with, "Well, it's very..." Luke says he knows it's exciting, and he's all ready to jump up and down if necessary. Lorelai finally says that Max asked her to marry him. Luke stares for a second and says, "Yeah, I figured." He says it was pretty obvious, with the way the two of them were getting so close and Max was around all of the time and last night they were going on about the "life-changing event" and all. He figured a proposal was the big news. He asks whether Lorelai has set the date. Lorelai admits she hasn't even said yes yet. Luke says she's going to say yes. Lorelai asks, "How do you know?" Luke says that Lorelai's making a big deal out of telling Luke that Max proposed. Lorelai squints and says she's not making a big deal out of it. She was just sharing, as in doing a nice gesture. She compares it to when you're a kid and you have those rectangular Popsicle that come with two sticks and you break the Popsicle in half and give one stick to your friend. "You offered me a Popsicle," Luke says. Lorelai says she did, and now he knows. Lorelai makes a noise, throws up her hands and orders coffee and muffins. Luke warms up the muffins. He says he thinks it's good that Lorelai's doing it. Lorelai agrees. She stammers that it's not that she's doing this, but if she is doing it, then it will be good. Luke asks whether they're going to live in Stars Hollow or Hartford. Lorelai says they haven't really talked about it. Probably Stars Hollow, though. Luke says that Hartford is probably better, since it's closer to the school for Rory. Lorelai agrees. Luke says that Hartford would be a big commute for Lorelai to the inn. Lorelai agrees. Luke adds that it's only a consideration if Lorelai even keeps her job. "Excuse me?" Lorelai asks. Luke says that she and Max have probably talked about all of this already. Lorelai says that they haven't, but she thinks that Max and her father have come to an agreement on how many goats she's worth. Luke says that this is all great. "You gonna have more kids?" Luke asks. Lorelai says that's a personal question. Luke says that Max probably wants more kids. "In the world, yes," Lorelai replies, adding that these things are none of Luke's business. Luke asks whether they've discussed joint checking accounts. "You do know his last name, don't you?" he asks. Lorelai asks for her Popsicle back. She says this is her business. Luke says his parents never discussed anything their entire marriage, and it worked out fine for them. Of course, when his mother died, she'd never told his father where she kept the coupon drawer, and it took him ten years to find it. Turns out she kept the coupons in a coffee can. Luke then says that it makes more sense to have a coupon drawer instead of a can. Lorelai asks for her muffins. Luke congratulates her again. Lorelai walks over to the table with her muffins. The crowd outside has turned away, but are all staring at something. Rory's at the window. "Now what's going on?" Lorelai asks. "Kirk passed out." Heh. I love Kirk. Lorelai pouts at the table. "How'd he take it?" Rory asks. "Fine," Lorelai says. "He took it fine." Fade to commercial.
Y'all, isn't anyone worried about Ryan Philllipppe being unleashed on Dawson's Creek? I certainly am. Someone needs to give that boy a haircut.
It must be Friday night again. Lorelai pulls the Jeep up to Emily's house. She's flustered, and keeps screwing things up, like getting tied to the emergency brake and leaving her keys in the ignition. Rory mentions that Lorelai got lost six times on their way there. Lorelai says that's a testament to her self-preservation instincts. Rory asks whether Lorelai's thinking about Max. Lorelai says she isn't. Rory says she's lying. I don't know what's going on with Lorelai's hair in this shot, but it looks like she's balding. It's all teased out and frizzy like she normally wears extensions and they've been pulled for this scene. It makes Lorelai look ten years older. Emily answers the door beaming, cheering their arrival and announcing to Richard that they've arrived. She tells the girls to come in. Lorelai says she won't, because Emily is scaring Rory. Emily laughs at how funny Lorelai's joke is, and walks into the house. She pulls the girls by the arms and shuts the door. She walks them in, jabbering away about how she's got Antonia making some puffs, and that she'll fix them a drink and la, la, la. She calls for Richard again. He tells her not to say anything until he gets there. Emily starts making drinks and asks the girls what's new in their lives. Lorelai says, "Uh, nothing." Rory asks what the big news is all about. Emily says she can't say until Richard's there. She calls for him again and curses. Lorelai asks Emily just to tell them what's going on. Emily sits down and says she can't wait for Richard all night. Emily says, "Well, you know I'm very good friends with Bitty Charleston, the headmaster's wife? Well, we have this little arrangement where she keeps me apprised of all the goings-on at Chilton. You know, she tells me all the gossip on the students, and their parents, and any pieces of information I might find useful." She says she just found out that Rory has finished in the top 3% of her class. She celebrates. Lorelai says she already knew that. Emily asks Lorelai who she knows at Chilton. "Rory," Lorelai says, pointing. "Oh," Emily says. Rory says it wasn't definite, but that she had a good idea. Richard walks in at this point and announces that Rory finished in the top 3% of her class. Rory says she knows, and Lorelai says that J. Edgar Hoover had just finished telling them. Emily and Richard bicker over leaked the information too soon. Lorelai says they already knew, and that it's good news either way. Emily and Richard say they're proud of Rory. Emily says that week they'll have a special dinner. "Gramma, all of your dinners are special," Rory says. Wow, that was so cute. Emily says that week's will be extra-special. She says they'll make all of Rory's favorite foods, and that Rory can bring friends. Richard says they'll even have presents. Emily and Richard are going on about how special Rory is and how she started late but is now one of the best students in her school, but Lorelai is no longer listening. It concerns school and smarts, so naturally Lorelai is looking down at her hand. She takes the butterfly ring off of her index finger and puts it on her left ring finger. It's an awkward shot from over Lorelai's hand and takes way too long for us to see how Lorelai feels about it. I mean, we're just watching her hand. Antonia announces that dinner is ready. Rory, Richard, and Emily leave for the dining room. Lorelai tells them to start without her, explaining that she's got to make a call. She says that Michel is all alone at the inn and people are surely dead by now.
Lorelai walks outside and calls Max. "Where are we gonna live?" she asks him. "Your house? My house?" Max says he doesn't know. He's also wearing an aqua shirt and gray sweat pants, so what does he know about anything? Lorelai says she's got a life and a kid and that both of them require some kind of house. She says that she has lots of stuff she's accumulated over the years, and that it's hers and it needs a place to live. Lorelai says that she wants to work, and likes her bank. It's a small bank and the teller's name is Margie and she doesn't know how to count and Lorelai finds something very poetic in a bank teller who doesn't count so well. Lorelai, it's called Bank of America. It's really not that hard to find. Max tells Lorelai to calm down. She sits and pouts. "If I die I want you to know where the coupon drawer is," she says. He says he'd like that, too. She says they need to figure these things out. Max asks whether Lorelai's saying yes. "Why are you asking me that?" Lorelai stalls. He says she's calling him freaking out about discussing these things, so he wants to know whether she's saying yes and that's why they need to discuss these things. "Are you?" he asks. Lorelai sits.
Emily, Rory, and Richard sit at the dinner table. Emily says she's very excited about all of this. She asks Rory whether she thinks she'll get a certificate. Rory says she doesn't know. Emily says that there should be some kind of certificate, and that she'll call Bitty tomorrow to discuss it. Richard says he's going to brag to a friend who's always bragging about his own grandson. Emily says that William is a lovely boy. "His head is shaped like a football," Richard says. They bicker about poor William and bragging to friends as Lorelai half-walks into the dining room. Rory looks up at her. Emily and Richard keep bickering as Lorelai looks at Rory and sort of grins and wobbles her head. Rory looks excited and perks up. Lorelai keeps half-nodding and wiggling until Rory stands up and cheers. They hug and scream. Richard complains that Rory's scream made him spill on his shirt. Emily and Richard ask what's going on. Lorelai says that they're very excited about this 3% thing. Rory agrees. Richard and Emily agree that it's not worth their efforts to figure out what's weird about Rory and Lorelai this time. Emily asks the maid to bring out club soda for Richard's shirt. Rory and Lorelai giggle into the commercial.
Independence Inn kitchen. Sookie walks around barking orders and helping out as the seafood man brings in a bucket of lobsters. Sookie puts her hand in to coo at one and the lobster nips her hand with its claw. Another chef pulls Sookie's hand out as a different one bandages it and Sookie says she's a good clotter. She starts to go back into the lobster bucket but the lobsters are still nipping, so she tells the seafood man to put the lobsters in the back. I love that Sookie only works with good-looking men. Love that. Sookie walks over to Michel and tells him he needs to move. "In a minute," Michel Frenches. He's taking slices of turkey breast and putting them on a scale in a Tupperware container. "I am weighing my turkey," Michel explains. Sookie asks why he'd do such a thing. Michel explains that they did a study on rats in which they cut the rats' caloric intake by 30%. "And you felt left out?" Sookie empathizes. Michel says that the rats lived 30% longer. The scientists also cut their own caloric intake by 30% so that they would live longer as well. Michel has decided to do this, too, so that he can live as long as the scientists and eventually the scientists will have cures for everything, including death, and then he can live forever. "Like Fame?" Sookie asks. "Don't speak to me," Michel says. Sookie asks for her scale back as Lorelai walks into the kitchen. She says she has a big announcement to make that's fabulous. Michel says goodbye. Lorelai asks him to wait and says she has good news. Michel says he's sure it's exciting and then excuses himself. Sookie tells Lorelai that Michel thinks he's going to live forever. "Like on Fame?" Lorelai asks. "That's what I said!" Sookie says. Michel says that later on when he's still alive and they're dead, he'll sit around with his scientist friends and giggle like little girls at their ignorance. Michel leaves and Lorelai checks with Sookie that Michel did, in fact, say "giggle like little girls." Lorelai tells Sookie that she's getting married. Sookie and Lorelai go back and forth saying, "No!" and "Yes!" until Sookie gets confused. Sookie hugs Lorelai and says this is so great. She says that Max is a wonderful man. "It is Max, right?" Sookie asks. She tells Lorelai that she's going to be a Sadie. "Sadie! Sadie! Married lady!" Sookie sings. "Funny Girl!" Lorelai shouts. "Streisand!" Sookie shouts back with Streisand-hands. Sookie says that she's going to make the cake. Sookie starts writing out the menu immediately and she breaks down into tears. She says that Lorelai raised Rory all by herself and that she's such a good kid and Lorelai's done so well for herself and really deserves this. She deserves to be this happy and have these good things happen for her. I love Sookie. Jackson walks in at this point, sees Sookie crying, and asks whether she was making cutlets again. Sookie tells Jackson that Lorelai is getting married, and adds that she loves saying that word. Jackson immediately gets weird, but congratulates Lorelai. Sookie asks Jackson what the most romantic vegetable is. Jackson stammers that he wouldn't know such a thing because he's just the normal vegetable guy and not the romantic vegetable guy, and that he's never even been to a wedding. He amends that to say he's been to one -- his cousin BonBon's wedding, and yes, that's his real name. And Jackson didn't even notice the vegetables at that wedding, so he's the wrong person to ask about romantic vegetables. "I'm not the wedding vegetable guy!" Jackson screams as he leaves the room. Lorelai says that Jackson's already terrified that Sookie wants to get married because she is. Sookie tells Lorelai to tell Jackson that she's pregnant. "With twins," Lorelai adds. "Why not?" Sookie says.
Rory's on the phone with Lane. Lane just got off the phone with the American consulate and she just learned her Korean name. Why isn't Rory more upset about this? Lane's in her funky closet, moaning that she's going to be shipped to Korea forever. Rory says that there must be something she can do. Lane says that she's a minor and that this is over. MamaLane calls for dinner. "Last meal," Lane says. "Call me later," Rory says as Lane hangs up. Lane closes her closet door and comes down for dinner. Y'all, Lane's getting shipped out and Rory's not doing a damn thing about it? I hate this. She's not even upset.
Lorelai is making dinner and asks Rory whether she also wants tater tots. "That's a rhetorical question, right?" Rory answers as she sits at the table. Rory asks Lorelai what dress she's thinking off. Lorelai says she wants to wear the dress Stephanie Seymour wore in the Guns N' Roses video. Rory asks whether Lorelai's picked her colors yet. Rory says she'll plan the wedding without Lorelai and that she'll have no say in anything. She's not even sure she'll invite Lorelai to the wedding. The phone rings. It's Max. Rory echoes everything Max says to Lorelai, but he doesn't know that Lorelai is standing right there. He's picked out three rings but doesn't know which one Lorelai would like the best, so he wanted Rory's opinion. Rory echoes what Max just said, and Lorelai sits down, ready to pick out her ring. Rory jokes that anything with the word "Foxy" on it is a real crowd pleaser. Lorelai smacks Rory's arm as Max says he'll remember that for their first anniversary. The first ring has a gold band. The diamond is square, and it's a traditional setting. Simple and classic. Lorelai gives it a big ol' boo and Max tosses the picture of the ring behind him. The ring is an engagement band with tiny diamonds around it. White gold. A wedding band that fits into it. Lorelai gives it a maybe. The third is from the '20s. Large diamond in the middle, diamond clusters on the sides, and a little deco. Lorelai starts panting and barking until Rory says that sounds like the perfect ring. Max says that Lorelai is right there and that he heard her barking. I'd be grossed out if my mom's boyfriend could recognize my mother's bark. Rory hands Lorelai the phone and announces that it's Max. There's a knock at the door as Lorelai tells Max that she just walked into the room.
Rory answers the door. It's CuteDean. He asks whether he's late, and Rory tells him he's right on time. Um. They gave CuteDean a haircut. And a tan. And he's bigger than he was at the end of last season. And he's all smiley with these, like, white teeth that I don't remember him having. Oh, God. Shit. I think he's turned into the older brother from Get Real. This is my punishment. Why doesn't anything go right for me these days? Why can't I count on CuteDean to be the same boy from season to season? Why? Why? CuteDean asks where Lorelai is. Rory says that Lorelai's on the phone discussing jewelry, so she might be talking forever. "Good," CuteDean says, as he pulls Rory outside the front door. "Hi," he says. "Hi," she says. They kiss. "I missed that," he says. "Me too," says Rory. As they walk into the house, CuteDean says that they tried this whole "breaking up thing," but it didn't seem to be for them. It works for other people, like Cher and Greg Allman, but not them. They decide to get back together. What's with giving CuteDean so many lines? Stop!
Lorelai walks up. Rory asks whether Lorelai picked out her ring. Lorelai says she did, and that it was supposedly ripped right off of Zelda Fitzgerald's dead hand. She says hi to CuteDean. Rory asks when dinner will be ready. Lorelai asks whether she's a timer. They joke about timers until Lorelai says that it'll be about ten minutes. CuteDean asks what the movie is for tonight. It's The Joan and Melissa Rivers Story, starring Joan and Melissa Rivers. Rory and Lorelai banter back and forth to the effect that the movie is a mother-daughter story about surviving obstacles and staying glamorous during tragedy. Lorelai says there are parts she'll have to rewind and play over and over about four thousand times. Rory walks into the living room, telling CuteDean that he'll never be the same. Lorelai walks up to CuteDean and says that it's good to have him back. She says that they really missed him. CuteDean says that he missed that place too. Lorelai says that they really missed him. CuteDean understands and goes to change their water bottle.
Rory walks back in and asks where Dean is. Lorelai says that CuteDean offered to change the water bottle, all, "Hey, Lorelai, can I change your water bottle?" and she wasn't going to stand in the way of that crazy boy's desires. Rory walks out to check on him.
Outside, CuteDean's cleaning off a water bottle. Rory sits down and apologizes that he's already doing chores. CuteDean says that he doesn't mind. She says that he will, since Lorelai pulled out the mower this morning. CuteDean says that he'd rather mow than watch the movie. Rory says that her grandparents are having a special dinner for her week and that she'd like CuteDean to come and meet her grandfather. CuteDean stops and says that the last time he met her grandmother was the night of the dance. Rory says that it was a long time ago, and that Emily's over it by now. Rory wants CuteDean to meet her grandparents, and it's supposed to be a special night. CuteDean says that if she wants him to go, he'll go. They kiss. Lorelai calls from the kitchen in a Southern drawl that the coffee can is so high she doesn't know what she'll do. CuteDean yells that he's coming to help.
Hi, everyone? Lane's getting shipped to Korea. Doesn't anyone care? God. Emily is finishing wrapping Rory's present because it's Friday night again, so I'm so confused as to how it could be Lane's last meal when she obviously has had a couple of weeks now to figure out that she's going to Korea. ["I thought she said her parents didn't tell her exactly when she was going?" -- Wing Chun] Richard walks down the stairs as Emily says she likes his tie. I think Emily's wearing the same thing she wears every week. Richard has a book he wants to give Rory for her present. The doorbell rings, and Emily answers the door with a jubilant "Well, hello there!" She sees CuteDean standing between Rory and Lorelai, and switches to a more pointed "Well, hello there." Rory is dressed in a very ugly purple flower dress and cardigan like she's auditioning for The Ruth Buzzi Story. CuteDean wears a blue shirt with a big-ass collar all opened up to show his pimp chains. Lorelai wears a fuschia dress with gold sequins around her boobies. Three very unattractive outfits, right there. Rory re-introduces CuteDean to Emily. CuteDean says that the house is huge and that he's never seen a house so huge before. Emily thanks him and says that most people ignore the hugeness of the house. Lorelai thanks Emily for letting Rory invite a friend over for dinner. She adds through clenched teeth that this is Rory's night, after all, and that Emily is being very nice. Emily softens and invites them into the house. Lorelai and Emily share a look at the door as Rory and CuteDean walk inside.
Emily asks what everyone would like to drink as they sit down in the living room. Lorelai says she'll have a white wine and that Dean will have a beer. Dean freaks out and says he never drinks beer and just wants a soda or water or something. Emily tells Dean that Lorelai is just using her meager sense of humor. "You're very cruel," Emily tells Lorelai. "Yes, well. Keeps me young," Lorelai says. CuteDean says that he's just going to sit there and stare at his hands. The mood lightens. Emily asks Rory what she'd like to drink. Rory asks for a beer. Everyone laughs. Rory tells CuteDean that they're not laughing at him. Lorelai admits that she was laughing at him just a bit. Emily says she was, too. Oh, ha. So much fun. Stop giving CuteDean lines! Make him have pouty hair and a pouty face and keep him earnest! Dammit! Richard walks in at this point, and everyone says hello. Rory introduces CuteDean to Richard. Richard just stares. CuteDean stands and walks over to Richard. He offers his hand, and Richard just walks past him. Richard asks whether everyone has drinks. The women all look at each other, wondering why Richard's just flat-out ignoring CuteDean's presence in the room. Lorelai finally says that they all have drinks. CuteDean sits down and mouth-breathes as he looks around for help. He leans in toward Lorelai and whispers, "Should we do the beer thing again?" Lorelai says she doesn't think so. He's officially turned into Eric Christian Olsen, and I'm so sad. Maybe it's just the clothes. Maybe they just need to give him a new style or something and it'd be less Get Real-ish. Less surfer-like. We're totally in commercial now, and I can't stop thinking about how to get my CuteDean back. This is what I was asking for, begging for, and now I'm not happy. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy for him? Because he's changed. I hate it.
Dinner table. Richard is unhappy. Rory says that she can't believe Emily found the recipe for Beef-a-Roni. Emily says that Antonia thought she had lost her mind when she asked for it. Lorelai asks what the secret ingredient is. "Let's just say it's not beef," Emily says. Everyone's pretty much done eating at that point. Emily asks whether CuteDean would like some more. CuteDean stares at Richard, who's still not talking but pouting at him, and says that he's done. Emily says that it's present time. "You didn't have to," Rory says. Lorelai agrees, and says that if it ends up being something that will fit her, too, then she's thankful. Emily hands Rory a box and congratulates her. Rory thanks her and thanks Richard, who gives her a grim smile. "Oh, pens!" Lorelai says when Rory opens the box. Emily says that the top student should have the top tools. I remember the first time I got pens as a gift because I was a good student. It's like getting a box of homework for Christmas. Now I'm all, "I want pens!" because it's a gift that grown-ups like. Kids don't ever want pens. They want better computers. Wait. So do I. Oh, right. I'm seven. Rory thanks Emily and Richard. Lorelai says that she'd love to see what's for dessert. Emily says it's Twinkies. "What?" CuteDean asks. Emily tells CuteDean that Rory told her it's her favorite dessert. "Emily Gilmore, you are one classy broad," Lorelai says. Emily shouts for Antonia to please bring out the Twinkies. Lorelai says that she's very happy to hear Emily say those words in that order. Emily tells her not to get used to it.
Richard asks CuteDean where he plans on going to college. The whole table turns to stare at Richard for saying something. It's not funny. CuteDean stammers, and Lorelai tells Richard to start with something smaller, like baseball or whatever. Richard says that he's talking to Dean. Dean confesses that he doesn't know yet. Richard asks what kind of grades he gets. Emily tells Richard not to "grill the boy." Richard says he's just trying to get to know something about CuteDean, since Rory brought CuteDean there to meet him and all. Dean says that he gets a mixture of grades. Richard laughs and asks for the ratio. CuteDean says he gets a couple of A's, a couple B's and a few C's. He says he's not great in math. Lorelai says that only mathematicians, blackjack dealers, and Stephen Hawking are good in math. Lorelai interrupts herself to tell Emily that Ho-Ho's are good, too. If you can't find a Twinkie, you can always have a good Ho-Ho. She asks how long it takes to open a box of Twinkies. Emily says that Antonia made the Twinkies. Emily asks Richard to give Rory her present. Richard says he will in a moment. Rory tries to intercept the conversation here, but Richard just ignores her to tell CuteDean that Rory's going to go to an Ivy League school, and that you have to have really good grades to get into those schools. CuteDean says that Rory is really smart. "Yeah, she is really smart," Richard mocks. Rory asks Lorelai for help; Lorelai tries to break up the conversation, but Richard is now asking CuteDean what he plans to do with his life after he maybe chooses a college or something. Emily goes to get Rory's present. CuteDean says that he doesn't know what he wants to do. Richard says that when he was ten he knew exactly what he wanted to do. "That's because you were always picked last for dodgeball," Lorelai says. Richard says that he knew he wanted to go to Yale and work for a firm and wear a good suit and make lots of money and travel. "Be a ballerina or a fireman," Lorelai interrupts. Richard says that this isn't funny. Lorelai says it's a little funny to be a ten-year-old who wants to see the ruins of Pompeii. Richard says that Rory wants all of those things. She wants to travel and see the world. "Rory's special," Lorelai says. Richard says that Rory is very special. CuteDean says that he knows Rory is special. Emily walks back in with the book for Rory. Rory says that Dean is special too, and that Richard hasn't even gotten to know him yet. "I know enough," Richard says. Rory says that Dean is incredible and special to her and that she didn't bring him there for Richard to attack him. Richard says that he won't be spoken to like that. Emily tells Richard to give Rory the book. Richard says that Gilmores have values and morals and that Rory lives up to those standards. He says that she should expect everyone in her life to live up to those standards as well. He says that she should learn very early that certain people can hold her back. Rory tells Richard that he can't treat Dean this way. Richard stands up and says he's finished. He walks off as Rory calls to him. She thanks Emily for the dinner and the gift and excuses herself. CuteDean also thanks her and apologizes. He follows Rory out of the house. Emily sits down at the table with Lorelai. Lorelai jokes, "Am I crazy? That's supposed to be us, right?"
Back at the house, Lorelai asks CuteDean whether he wants to come in and have some dessert. CuteDean says that he should probably go. Rory asks whether he's sure. He is. Lorelai tells Dean he officially became a Gilmore girl tonight. She goes inside. Rory immediately apologizes to CuteDean, saying that she had no idea he'd react that way. Rory's hair is all frizzy here. CuteDean says that this isn't her fault. Rory says that nothing he said was true, and that she doesn't want CuteDean to be upset. He says he's not upset, kisses her, and leaves. He says he'll call her tomorrow. Rory walks into the house.
"That man is impossible," Rory says as Lorelai unpacks the Twinkies. Rory is changing clothes in her bedroom, bitching about Richard as Lorelai listens and arranges Twinkies on a plate. Rory says that Richard just freaked out on Dean for nothing out of nowhere and that he's a snob and he doesn't listen. He just says horrible things and you're supposed to just listen and take it. Lorelai says that's caused by a hundred years of inbreeding. Rory sits at the table and says she doesn't know how she'll ever talk to Richard again. She says that Dean must be so upset. "I hate it," she concludes. Lorelai says that Richard was in fine form tonight, but that he loves Rory more than anything in the world. Lorelai says that Richard might have freaked out because of Lorelai and not Rory. She says that Rory is their angel and their Great White Hope. She says the truth is that Rory is going to go to college and graduate high school and they'll get to watch her walk down the aisle with a cap and gown and go to Harvard and graduate with honors and "set the world on fire." But tonight she brought this beautiful boy to the house who likes Rory enough to brave her grandparents and Richard looked at Rory and saw Lorelai again. He saw the possibility that Rory would throw it all away for a boy just like Lorelai did. Rory says that she's not going to get pregnant. Lorelai says she knows that. "He should know that," Rory says. Lorelai agrees, but notes that Rory has Lorelai's eyes. Rory says that Lorelai just spent ten minutes defending Richard. Lorelai says she knows, and that she'll have horrible dreams tonight, but that if Rory promises to cut Richard some slack, Lorelai will wear her Porn Star t-shirt to dinner week. Hee. Rory agrees. The phone rings.
It's Lane. She's standing to a gigantic suitcase. She tells Rory that the luggage her parents are providing for her Korea trip would fit both of them and all of their belongings. Rory still has no emotional involvement here (why didn't Lane get to go to the Friday dinner? She's the one who's leaving!). "I'm never coming back," she says.
Richard is yelling at Emily that Rory has no business running around with a boy like CuteDean. Emily asks him to calm down because he's giving her a headache. Richard asks why she invited CuteDean over. Emily says that they told her she could bring someone. He says that Rory sounded like Lorelai when she yelled at him. Emily says that Rory was defending her boyfriend. Richard says that a girl Rory's age shouldn't have a boyfriend. Emily says that a sixteen-year-old girl is going to have a boyfriend. Richard says that Rory shouldn't be tied down to just one boy, and that she should be dating lots of people. Man, my parents tried that same logic on me, telling me I should be dating lots of people. I had to sit them down and explain that we don't do that anymore. It's called "being a slut" and it gives you herpes. Times have changed, people. The phone rings. Emily gets up to answer it. Richard tells her not to. She says she's going to answer the phone. He says they're in the middle of a conversation. Emily answers the phone. It's Sookie. Emily remembers her. Sookie apologizes for calling so late and tells Emily that she's planning a surprise wedding shower for Lorelai and Max and wanted to make sure that they'd be able to come. Emily stops dead in the hallway and listens to Sookie go on about the surprise party. The party will be on Saturday. Emily says she doesn't know yet if she can come. "Okay!" Sookie squeals as she realizes she just had her hand on the burning stovetop. She tells Emily to check on the date as she walks over to the sink and starts running her hand through cold water. Emily says she'll get back to her on the date. Sookie hangs up the phone and tosses it into the sink as she administers first aid to her second-degree burn.
Emily storms into Richard's office and tells him that he has to call Rory tomorrow and apologize. She orders him to tell Rory that Dean is welcome anytime. Richard asks whether Emily has gone insane. "Our daughter is getting married," Emily says. She says that Lorelai's getting married and didn't tell them. She hopes that when Rory decides to get married, she will want to share that knowledge with them. Emily walks out of the room repeating, "Call her tomorrow." Outside Richard's office, Emily begins to cry.
Max and Lorelai are sitting on the porch swing as Lorelai finishes telling the story of the day's events. "That's the family you want to marry into," she says. Max says he must be insane. He gives her the ring. Lorelai likes it. It's too big. Max wants to take it back to get it sized, but Lorelai doesn't want to give it back. She says she'll eat a lot of salt and bloat up. Max says he wants to have it back to get it sized and then she'll never have to take it off again: "In fact, I'll insist on it." They kiss, and Lorelai asks to wear the ring for a few minutes. She leans into his side and stares at her hand. Max watches her hand as well. "I'm getting married," Lorelai smiles as Part I comes to a close.