Episode Report Card Pamie: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Family Matters
By Pamie | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.28.2001
The doorbell rings. Emily goes to greet Straub and Francine as Richard tells Christopher that he hasn't seen them in years. He says there was a time when they were "quite inseparable." Lorelai, Rory, and Christopher are alone on the couch. Rory says that this is weird: "These are my other grandparents. I don't even know them." She says she doesn't know what to call them. Christopher says to call them what he calls them. "Ass--" Lorelai interrupts to say Rory should call them Straub and Francine. Or Mr. and Mrs. Hayden. "Sir and Ma'am?" she offers. Lorelai decides it would be best for Rory not to call them anything.
Richard walks back into the room, announcing the arrival of Straub and Francine. Straub shakes Christopher's hand as Francine goes to straighten his tie. Francine says, "Lorelai...you look well." Lorelai says she is well, and introduces Rory. Francine says the last time she saw Rory she was just starting to speak in complete sentences. "So, not for two years, then," Lorelai laughs. Quick shots of everyone else not laughing, and coughing uncomfortably. Lorelai then explains that she was making a joke, and what the joke was about. Straub: "I see you haven't changed, Lorelai." Lorelai: "No. Not at all." Rory says hi. She waits for an uncomfortable second and then bobs into a quick curtsey. Lorelai then stage whispers, "Did you just curtsey?" Rory tells her to shut up. "Sorry, M'lady," Lorelai giggles.
Richard tells everyone to get comfortable, and asks Straub if he wants a martini. Straub does. Richard asks how retirement is treating Straub. They chit-chat about the Bahamas and the price of things. Richard and Straub start talking about Christopher's business success. Christopher is still pulling at his tie. Francine tells him to fix his tie. Rory stammers and stutters out a sentence in which she tries to address Francine and Straub and ends up wagging a finger at them, asking if they are enjoying their time in Connecticut. Christopher leans over to Lorelai and says that Rory gets that from her. Straub asks Rory her age. Rory says she's sixteen. "A dangerous age for girls," Straub tells Francine. Lorelai gives Straub a warning look. Emily brags that Rory is very smart and an excellent student. Richard says that Straub should have a talk with Rory, and that she could give him a run for his money. "Is that so?" Straub asks. "That's right," Emily smiles. Richard, Emily, and Straub then peer at Rory expectantly, and she just stares back at them, unsure of what she's supposed to say. She looks at Lorelai and then looks back. Straub looks down and then says to Francine, "Well, I think my money is safe." Asshole. Lorelai, trying to help as she does, immediately busts out, "I hate President Bush." Straub snaps, "What?" as Emily tries to shut Lorelai up. Christopher has lowered his head to his lap as Lorelai says she thinks Bush is stupid and that "his face is too tiny for his head." Straub says, "He's the leader of our country, young lady." Richard tells Straub to ignore her. Francine doesn't understand what kind of comment the "face too small for the head" is. ["A pretty accurate one, in my opinion." -- Wing Chun] "I see your daughter is just as out of control as ever, Richard," Straub says. Because that's the kind of thing anyone is allowed to say to a parent. ["A parent of a thirty-two-year-old, no less." -- Wing Chun] Christopher asks that Straub keep it "civil." Straub asks what Lorelai's been doing with her life, besides "hating successful businessmen." Emily asks that they move into the dining room. Lorelai says she runs an inn. "Nice to see you found your calling," Straub snaps. ["Maybe it was just me, but did anyone else read that as Straub calling Lorelai a whore? You know, whore, inn, 'calling'..." -- Wing Chun] Emily says that dinner is ready. Francine tells Christopher to fix his tie. Straub asks if Lorelai's life is everything she hoped it would be. "Yes, it is," Lorelai says. Straub: "Because it seems to me you might not want to take quite such a haughty tone when you announce to the world that you work in a hotel." Christopher puts his drink down as Lorelai says there's nothing wrong with where she works. Francine says, "Straub, please. I'm getting a headache." Emily asks Richard to lead them into the dining room. Straub's not done yet. "If you'd attended a university, as your parents had planned, and as we had planned in vain for Christopher, you might have aspired to something more than a blue-collar position." Lorelai sits with her arms crossed, nodding and smiling as Christopher warns, "Don't do this." More Straub: "And I wouldn't give a damn about you derailing your own life if you hadn't swept my son along with you." Lorelai pats Rory on the arm and asks her to go into the next room.
As Rory leaves, Richard says he's going to "echo Christopher's call for civility." He says that a "mutual mistake" was made many years ago by Lorelai and Christopher, but that they've come "a long way since." Straub says this entire evening is a mistake: "We're supposed to sit here like one big happy family, and pretend that the damage that was done is over? Gone? I don't care about how good a student you say that girl is." "Hey!" Lorelai warns, but Straub keeps talking. "Our son was bound for Princeton. Every Hayden male attended Princeton, including myself. But it all stopped with Christopher. It's a humiliation we've had to live with every day." Francine acts like the humiliation has really been just too much for her. Why isn't Christopher shutting him up? ["Because Christopher's a coward?" -- Wing Chun] "All because you seduced him into ruining his life. She had that baby, and she ended his future." Richard jumps up and grabs Straub's hand, ordering him to take that back. Grampa, watch the angina, buddy. "You're spilling my drink!" Straub shouts as he stands. Richard is pissed: "You owe my daughter an apology." Straub scoffs at the idea. Richard has Straub by the lapels; he's shaking him and shouting in his face, "How dare you? How dare you come into my house and insult my daughter?" Emily shouts at Richard. Christopher finally jumps up and separates the two men. "Shame on you, Straub!" Richard shouts. "Shame on you for coming in here and opening all of this up again!" Lorelai is speechless, having never seen her father act this way. Straub tells Francine to get her coat. Richard follows Straub and says that Lorelai is very successful at what she does. Straub says that they're leaving. "You're not leaving. I'm kicking you out!" Francine hands her martini to Emily and walks out. Emily runs after them, leaving Lorelai and Christopher alone in the room. Christopher: "And you brought up Bush because...?" Lorelai: "Seemed like a good idea at the time?" Lorelai says she feels "sixteen." Fade to black.