Forgiveness and Stuff

Previously on Gilmore Girls: Rory decided to go to her formal dance at Chilton, even though she was nervous. She mustered up the strength to ask CuteDean, and luckily he agreed to go. Emily spent the night with Lorelai, since the latter had hurt her back. Rory and CuteDean had a wonderful time, but ended up falling asleep on the floor of Miss Patty's studio. Lorelai and Emily had a full-out fight over whether or not Rory was having sex with That Boy. Rory left CuteDean in the snow to come home and apologize, but ended up fighting with Lorelai over Emily's being angry.

We open with Townie humor, as we always do on Gilmore Girls. Miss Patty is holding rehearsal for the Christmas pageant. She separates her "Before Mary" (a very pregnant woman) and her "After Mary" (a taller, not pregnant woman) on opposite sides of the room. Miss Patty panics when she realizes she's only got half of her donkey. I'll leave you guys to finish that joke. It's too easy. Our "Recurring Townie," who has played everyone from DSL installers to restaurant patrons, is now standing on a box in the middle of the room, wearing a shepherd's gown. One quick check of the IMDb tells us that this Townie's name is Kirk, and that his real name is Sean Gunn. There. Now I can sleep. Lorelai is working on the hem of his sleeve, and he's complaining that she's pricking him with a needle. They argue. A few feet away, Rory watches. She stops Cardigan Man and asks him about the Baby Jesus she found in the prop trunk: he's missing an arm. Cardigan Man grabs the Baby Jesus from Rory's hands and looks to make sure that he's really missing an arm. He is. He shouts to all of the cast and crew that Jesus's arm is missing. Rory suggests that it might be time to get a new Baby Jesus -- one that's actually a boy. Cardigan Man says that this Baby Jesus has been the Baby Jesus since 1965, and that since Rory wasn't even alive when this Baby Jesus was employed, perhaps she should keep her ideas to herself. He tells her to find the arm. Rory looks over at Lorelai, who is still sewing. Lorelai and Recurring Townie begin to argue again until Lorelai sticks a pin in his giant sleeve and says he's done. Rory looks through the prop box and says she can't find the arm. Cardigan Man tells her to look in the prop box again. Miss Patty runs up and tells Cardigan Man that he's needed immediately: "Our Before Mary is about to become an After." She tells him to find someone in Stars Hollow who's "knocked up." Lorelai and Rory stare at each other for a few moments before looking away uncomfortably.

Walking home from the studio, Lorelai asks Rory whether she found the arm. Rory hasn't. Lorelai sighs, and they walk away. A dog walks by. He, of course, has the Baby Jesus's arm in his mouth. Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

All is forgiven with the sound of Carole King's singing. I miss my mommy.

Ooh, and the Verve MasterCard commercial. All is forgiven two times.

Lane runs up to Rory and asks why Rory didn't meet her at Luke's. Rory apologizes for spacing. They sit on a porch swing and talk. Lane asks whether Rory and Lorelai are still fighting. Rory says that things are still very "Miracle Worker" at her house. Rory wonders how all of this happened. Lane recaps the last ten minutes of the last episode for her. Rory moans that her life used to be so good with everything going so well, and now everything's terrible with everyone fighting and not talking. You can do both at the same time, by the way. Lorelai has started calling CuteDean "Narcolepsy Boy," which is really quite funny. Lane asks how CuteDean is handling all of this. Rory still hasn't spoken to him since she ran away that morning; she told him to leave her alone. Lane asks whether he's doing that. Rory smiles and says, "No." "Good boy," Lane says. Rory asks to change the subject. Lane asks what Rory bought while she was shopping. She bought a cow-shaped timer for Sookie, some cardio-salsa tapes for Michel, and a book for CuteDean. Lane scoffs at the idea of buying your boyfriend a book. She bought him The Metamorphosis. Lane doesn't find that very romantic at all. Rory thinks it is romantic. Lane smiles and says, "I know I've always dreamed that some day a guy would get me a really confusing Czechoslovakian novel." Lane says that a book sends the wrong message. She tells Lane that you have to look at what a gift means to the other person, and not to yourself: "Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? To me, that said, 'Hey, Mom. You work hard. You deserve something fancy.' Now, to my mother, that said, 'Hey, Mom. Here's some smelly sex juice -- the kind I use to lure boys with." Lane says Rory should consider what it would be like if she gave CuteDean something really romantic, and he gave her a football; Lane explains that the book is a "Czechoslovakian football." Lane says she should find out what CuteDean is giving her and then get him something equally romantic and pricey. Rory thinks that's going to take all of the fun out of it. "Gift-giving is serious business," Lane reminds her.

Independence Inn. A man stands on a ladder hanging Christmas ornaments, while Michel barks that he's hanging a particular one (the fairy) in the wrong place. He won't tell the man which one is the fairy, but makes him guess. It's good French fun, but doesn't make for friendly recapping.

Lorelai answers the phone. It's Emily. She wants to talk about her Christmas dinner this Friday and feels that Lorelai has forgotten about it. Lorelai says there's a lot going on right now, so that party isn't taking up the bulk of her thoughts. Emily reminds Lorelai that the world doesn't always revolve around her. She tells Lorelai that cocktails are at six and dinner is at eight. Lorelai doesn't think she'll be able to get away from work in time for cocktails. Emily tells her to not bother coming, then: "It's obviously an enormous burden for you." Lorelai is stunned into stammering. Emily tells her just to send Rory. Lorelai says that when she had the German measles in the fifth grade, she still had to come to the Christmas dinner. Emily says that the two of them aren't very happy with each other right now; she's tired of forcing Lorelai to do things that she doesn't want to do, and she feels that she was treated unfairly the other night. "So, you're uninviting me to Christmas dinner?" Lorelai asks in shock. Emily says she is. They exchange "fine"s and make curt comments to each other until Lorelai hangs up. Lorelai walks away from the desk and passes Michel and the ornament hanger. "This one?" "Nope." "This one?" "Nope." "This?" "Nope." It's funny. I promise.

Rory is dressed up for Emily's party and is trying to convince Lorelai to go. She says she's sure that Emily didn't mean to uninvite her, and just said it because she was angry. Lorelai says that she can't go until she's invited again. Rory says she thinks Lorelai is acting immature. Lorelai pouts that she's not acting. Rory reminds Lorelai that she waits all year for Emily's apple tarts. Lorelai says she'll live without them this year. "You've made up songs after eating five of them with lyrics that contradict that last statement," Rory says, putting on her coat. Lorelai tells Rory that she's going to be late. Rory tries one last time to get Lorelai to come with her, and then grabs her present and leaves. "Bring me back one of those tarts!" Lorelai shouts to the closed door. Lorelai looks around her empty living room as we fade to commercial.

Emily's party. She answers the door and lets Rory in. Rory hands her the present and says it's from her and Lorelai. Emily puts it under the tree. Rory tries to bring up Lorelai again, but Emily quickly sideswipes her into a conversation with one of her friends. Grampa is at the fireplace arguing business with someone. Grampa is getting quite heated about it. Emily stops the arguing to announce Rory's arrival. They ask where Lorelai is. Emily says that Lorelai was held up at work and won't be able to make it. Rory does not look happy with that excuse. Grampa decides to call this business partner who is the source of the argument. He apparently lives in London, but Grampa doesn't care who he wakes up to discuss this matter. Emily reminds them that they are gathered to celebrate, but Grampa is too upset to think about anything other than business. Rory asks Emily if she can talk to her alone. "You need something to drink," Emily says, ignoring her own argument as well.

Rory follows Emily and apologizes for the other night. Emily doesn't really want to talk about it. Rory says that she "messed up," and that it wasn't Lorelai's fault. Emily says that this isn't the time or the place to discuss this: "Your mother should have taught you that." Emily says that she isn't mad at anyone, and that Rory should go back in and enjoy the party.

Lorelai is on the phone with the pizza man. She's been waiting quite some time for her pizza. "Quite." That's a Gilmore Girls word. I've also found myself quickly firing off reasons for things in a monotone voice. Like: "Hey, Pamie, why did you use my towel?" Me: "Well, I thought if I dried my face on the cat you'd ask me questions. Who knew you were going to ask me no matter what I dried my face with?" It's not making the people in my house happy. Apparently their delivery van broke down and it will take some time for the pizza shop owner's brother to arrive with his Razor scooter to finish the deliveries. Lorelai asks him to call her when his brother gets there, and hangs up. Lorelai pouts over to the refrigerator, grabs a bag of salad and some dressing and shuts the door. She opens the bag of salad, pours the dressing in, shakes the bag, gets a fork and sits down to eat her pouty, lame salad. She hears a knocking from somewhere inside the house. She walks over to Rory's room and turns on the light. It's CuteDean, knocking on Rory's window. Lorelai raises the shade and opens the window. She says hello to CuteDean and asks how he's doing. He's fine. "Shouldn't you have a squeegee on you, or something?" she asks him. CuteDean asks if Rory's there. Lorelai says that she's not, but that she'll tell her he tapped. She starts to shut the window but sees that CuteDean's not moving, so she leans back down to ask if he's got something else to say. He apologizes for the other night and asserts that nothing happened, telling her they fell asleep reading a book. "Pick a more interesting book time," Lorelai says with a very sincere warning in her voice. CuteDean asks if he's "Public Enemy #1" with her. Lorelai says there's quite a line for that right now, so he's a little lower on her list, though still in the top five. CuteDean asks where he stands. Lorelai doesn't know. CuteDean says, "Look, you can hate me but you have to believe me -- I would not let anything happen to her." "You happened to her," Lorelai says. "I won't hurt her," CuteDean promises. Lorelai reminds CuteDean that Rory wants to go to Harvard. CuteDean says that Rory will go to Harvard, and that if she doesn't, it won't be because of anything he did. He starts to leave and Lorelai tells him that she doesn't hate him. She says she imagined "twenty different ways" to remove his head from his body. He asks, "Uh, which one was the best?" Lordy, that boy is cute. "Hedge clippers. Dull ones," Lorelai tells him. CuteDean understands. He starts to leave again, but Lorelai stops him to say that they have a really nice front door and he might want to use it in the future. "Got it," he says cutely.

More townie humor, this time in the form of a group of bell ringers. Someone is not playing the right bell at the right time. Then the others realize that no one is playing the right bell at the right time. If I knew anything about the process of getting together in a group and ringing bells in the right order to play songs, I might be able to recap this in a way that makes the scene sound understandable. All I can do is say there are a bunch of people ringing bells and no one knows when they are supposed to ring their bell. Now, you give me a group of comics trying to be funny, I could tell you what's going wrong. Fortunately, this show doesn't have that problem.

Lorelai walks into Luke's and takes a seat at the counter. Luke fills Lorelai's coffee and asks if Rory's coming. Lorelai says she isn't. "Is she on a date?" he asks. Lorelai: "No." Luke: "Good. So you forbid her to see the bag boy." Lorelai says that she doesn't want to talk about it, but that she didn't forbid Rory to see "the bag boy." Luke says that Lorelai is crazy. Lorelai says that CuteDean might be moved up to produce soon, so he's "quite a catch." Luke says that CuteDean is nothing but trouble and that he thought so the first time he saw him. Lorelai reminds Luke that the first time they saw CuteDean she's the one who thought he was trouble and Luke said she was overreacting. Lorelai: "He is not trouble. He's six foot two, he's beautiful, and he's completely in love with my daughter." Luke: "Trouble." Lorelai: "Big time." Luke leaves to get Lorelai a burger. Lorelai asks to get a menu instead; she says she's in the mood for something different this time. He hands her a menu. Lorelai stares for a while. She asks if Luke has some holiday specials or something festive. "I just got some Grey Poupon. It's French," he replies. Lorelai tells Luke that she got uninvited to Emily's Christmas party this year, and that it's the only holiday she enjoys celebrating there. Luke asks why anyone would celebrate Christmas two weeks early. She asks whether he even heard her say that she was uninvited. Luke: "To your parents' fake Christmas party?" Lorelai: "Yes." Luke: "I did hear that." Lorelai: "Do you even care?" Luke: "Obviously, you do." Lorelai: "Yes, I do. And I don't know why." Luke then does that thing that he does where he tells Lorelai exactly what she's thinking and why she's having issues dealing with her emotions. He says that Rory's at this party that she's not and she and Rory aren't getting along right now at a time usually shared with people you love. "Wow," Lorelai says. "Did I mention you come here every damn day?" Luke asks. Lorelai orders a burger.

Grampa is wheeled out, and Luke and Lorelai join the orderly's side and start asking questions. The orderly says that Grampa is a little groggy right now. Lorelai asks what they found out from the tests. The orderly says she'll have to ask the doctor about that, and says that she can go into the room with Grampa and wait for the doctor. Lorelai stops herself at the door. Luke tells her to go in. Lorelai says she's going to wait outside for Emily and Rory. Luke says he'll tell them. "That's okay," Lorelai says uncomfortably. She bumps right into Emily. Emily tells her to come into Grampa's room with her, but Lorelai says she's going to hang back and wait for Rory. Emily goes into the hospital room. Luke offers to find Rory, but Lorelai says she can do it. "I thought so," Luke says. Rory immediately shows up in the hall. "Hey, look! It's Rory!" Luke says. Rory says that the coffee machine was jammed, so she brought them chicken soup and some Pez. Lorelai says that Grampa is in his room. Rory says, "Well, come on!" Lorelai says she needs to make a phone call, and that she'll meet her in there. Rory goes into the room, and Luke asks who Lorelai is going to find now. Lorelai tells Luke to stop teasing her. Luke tells her she can't avoid going in that room forever. Lorelai says she's not avoiding anything, but that she's going to find some coffee. Luke reminds her that the coffee machine is jammed. Lorelai says she's sure there's a working machine on a different floor. "Admit you're afraid," Luke says. Lorelai continues to walk backwards and says that Luke has no idea what he's talking about. She gets him off her back by pointing out a patient with a screwdriver jammed into his head. Luke is repulsed, and Lorelai is gone as we fade to commercial.

There's really nothing snarky to say about this episode. Again, maybe if I knew something about medicine. ["That seldom helps. Take it from me." -- Wing Chun]

Rory is reading the financial paper to Grampa. Emily walks in with new pillows and excuses Rory from the room. Rory leans in to Grampa and smiles. "If I hug you, is it going to hurt?" Grampa tells her that "pain is a part of life." She hugs him and kisses his cheek. Emily puts her arm around Rory and says to Grampa, "This little girl likes you." Grampa says that Rory has good taste.

Luke is sitting in the hallway with his head between his knees. Rory asks him where Lorelai is. He tells her that she's looking for coffee. She asks what he's doing. "Staring at my shoes," he tells her. Rory: "Okay. Carry on." She walks carefully past Luke. Luke starts to look up at Rory, sees a patient in a wheelchair and lowers his head back into his hands.

Emily fluffs up the new pillows and says that they aren't down, but that they're at least a bit better. "Emily, we need to talk," Grampa says. As Emily starts mothering Grampa with pillows and fluffing, Grampa tells her where to find the key to the desk that holds the will. Emily doesn't want to hear anything about wills; she's still talking about sheets and other things she can bring him to make him more comfortable. He says that they need to be practical. She's still talking about other things. He asks her to listen. He starts with, "If I die," but she stops him: "No! Richard Gilmore, there may be many things happening in this hospital tonight, but your dying is not one of them. No. I did not sign on to your dying and it's not going to happen. Not tonight, not for a very long time. In fact, I demand to go first. Do I make myself clear?" Grampa smiles and says that she may go first. Emily picks up the phone to call for new sheets and Grampa grabs and caresses her hand. Emily cries into the phone. I cry into my iBook. Man, this two-parter is killing me, people! ["I've had this conversation with my spouse, and he's not even thirty and is in the bloom of health. So I kind of lost it, there, too." -- Wing Chun]

Rory finds Lorelai fighting with the coffee vending machine. Lorelai says she thinks she's wearing the machine down. Lorelai asks if the doctor is back yet. He's not. Lorelai tells Rory that CuteDean came by this evening. "Were you mean?" Rory asks. Lorelai: "Excuse me! I am never mean." Rory: "You were mean." Lorelai says that CuteDean told her that nothing happened. Rory says that nothing happened at all. Lorelai says she knows that: "Rory, there are only two things that I totally trust in this entire world. The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country, and you." Rory swears that it will never happen again. Lorelai tells her not to promise that: "You are your mother's daughter." She says that things happen even when you don't mean for them to happen. Rory says that she hated going to the party without her. Lorelai hated Rory's going to the party without her, too. "How were the apple tarts?" she asks. Rory tells her that Emily didn't make them this year. Lorelai says that's strange. "Are you lying?" she asks. "Through my teeth," Rory responds. "Good girl," Lorelai approves.

Emily finds Luke in the hallway. She sits down to him. Luke asks how Grampa is. Emily admits that she doesn't know. Luke compliments the tie Emily's holding. It's Grampa's. She says that she was yelling at him earlier for trying to take it off; she didn't know that he was sick and needed it removed. She says that the paramedics took it off on the way to the hospital, and that she's unable to put it down yet. She says she must sound crazy. Luke tells her that he's kept his father's store just the way he left it. Well, he turned it into a diner, but he kept it looking like the hardware store that his father owned. "I'm sure he would have appreciated having his life's work honored like that," Emily says. "He would have called me a damn fool," Luke says. Emily says that she doesn't know what Lorelai has told him about Grampa. "He's a very good man. He always did the right thing for his family," she says. Luke says that's exactly what Lorelai told him. Emily seems a bit surprised. She asks what's going on between Luke and Lorelai. He says that they are friends, and that's it. He promises. "You're idiots. The both of you," Emily says. Lorelai shows up. "Your mother called me an idiot," Luke tells her. "Wow. You must have sucked up good," she says. Emily takes Rory and leaves them alone. Luke asks what Lorelai is going to do. Lorelai stares at the hospital-room door and slowly walks over to it. "I'll be here," Luke reminds her. Lorelai opens the hospital room door and walks in.

Within, Lorelai sees Grampa in his bed, looking just a bit uncomfortable. His eyes are closed. Lorelai walks but doesn't know what to do with her hands. She has them jammed into the back of her pants. She stands at the foot of his bed and quietly watches him. The view switches back and forth between Lorelai staring and Grampa in bed and it's that moment that you have when you look at your parent, and he or she is sick, and you realize for the first time in your life just how mortal your parents are. Not only do they not have all the answers, not only do they make mistakes and say things they don't mean and get upset for the wrong reasons and love you no matter what you do, no matter how much of a hero they may or may not be for you -- they are just people. They are just human. And their time is limited. And you'll never know how long you have and you know you'll never be able to say or do all of the things you want with them because you can't control the moment they are taken away from you. The scene might be silent, but it's filled with words. Grampa rustles a bit from his sleep. He blinks his eyes a few times, and then settles on Lorelai. He opens his mouth to say something. She does, too. Just then the door opens with a bustle. The doctor, Emily, and Rory all enter the room. The doctor says that it was just a touch of angina. Lorelai smiles at Grampa and holds back her tears. Emily says that Grampa will have to watch his diet. As the doctor starts telling him what he can and cannot eat (Emily reminds him that golf doesn't count as exercise, fixing his sheet), Lorelai smiles and walks out of the room. We hear the faded voices of Rory asking if he's fine and the doctor saying he will be as long as Grampa does what he's told.

Lorelai walks back out into the hospital hallway. Luke walks up and says he knows that everything is okay. She says they're going to keep him overnight, but that he's going to be fine. Lorelai breaks down and starts crying, and Luke pulls her into a hug. He says he knows this is the part where they guy is supposed to give the girl a handkerchief, but he doesn't carry one and he thinks that's kind of gross. Lorelai laughs, wipes her face, and says she's okay. Luke has brought her a mug of coffee. She asks where he got it. "Nurses' lounge," he says. Lorelai laughs. "What? You're not the only one who can flirt," he says. He then admits that he just walked in when he saw the door open, and asks what else he can do. Lorelai asks him to take Rory home; she's going to stay with Emily at the hospital tonight. Rory walks out and hugs Lorelai, saying that he's going to be fine. Lorelai tells her that Luke will take her home. Rory says she can stay too, but Lorelai tells her to go home and call CuteDean: "Talk mushy to each other and then spend an hour arguing over who's going to hang up first." "You are gross," Rory smiles. Rory hands over the keys and says she's going to come back tomorrow. She kisses Lorelai goodbye. Luke makes a quick exit out of the hospital. Lorelai sits down on the chair in the hallway. Emily walks out. She sits beside Lorelai and says that Grampa is almost asleep. She asks where Rory is. Lorelai tells her that she sent them home and that she's going to stay there in case "anybody needed anything." She says she knows Emily doesn't need any help, but there might be someone in the hospital that would need something. Emily asks if she'd like to go to the cafeteria with her for some food. Lorelai says she'd like to do that because there might be someone in the cafeteria that needs something and it'll be good if Emily is there to watch her do her good deed.

Stars Hollow is filled with holiday cheer. Luke is back at his diner. Lorelai walks in and says that her dad is doing better, even though Grampa says that life is not life unless it includes a steak. Lorelai has brought him a present. She said it's a thank-you present or a Christmas present or whatever he wants. Luke opens it. It's a new baseball cap. Lorelai says that he might want a backup for that one he's always wearing. Luke takes off his hat. Lorelai grabs the new one, bends it and puts it on bill-side out. It looks awkward, as new caps do. She blinks, says it looks wrong, and turns it around on his head. She sees the rehearsal procession going on outside and asks Luke to turn off the lights. Curmudgeonly arguing commences, and Luke finally turns off the diner lights to watch the parade outside. Lorelai says it's hard to imagine living somewhere else. Luke thanks her for the hat. Lorelai says that it looks good on him. "'Good' how?" he asks. Lorelai tells him just to watch the procession as we fade to black.

I don't want to alarm you, but I don't think there's another new episode for at least two weeks. I know. I'm just as upset. That's what happens when you get two episodes in a row, though. Be careful what you wish for.