I bet you missed the shit out of this.
Mad props to the people who couldn't just let the last two episodes of the season go to waste without some MBTV coverage.
Underground Get Real episodes. How cool is that?
We open in the School Without Classes, as students are milling around, not in class. A cello plays a piece fit for an Infiniti ad. Principal Foreshadowing leads us in a voice-over: "There are fourteen hundred students at Truman High. All trying to get good grades. But the majority are more concerned about what they are wearing than what they are learning." Finally, the voice of truth. "Basically they are just getting by. Then there are those that stand out, those that do excel. Top ten percent. And out of that select group, there is one student that stands above the rest. Valedictorian." We all know where this is going, right? Starting big, global even, narrowing down the class population smaller and smaller until there is an undisputed Center of the Universe. "The class of 2000 Truman High is proud to announce that honor has been earned by you." The camera shifts to an uncomfortable Meghan. The cello screeches to a halt. Principal Foreshadowing tells Meghan to prepare a speech and to keep it short, since it'll be hot under those robes. Meghan asks if she has to be Valedictorian. PF scoffs that this is "a first." Meghan gives an uncomfortable grin that says, "If I don't contest this, I can't add more drama to my life."
Mitch is driving and talking on the cell phone. He's also leafing through a folder. A car drives past him in an intersection and honks. Mitch acts like he's the innocent one. Cue the police siren. Mitch gets off the phone, saying he just got pulled over. Now he's terribly inconvenienced.
Kim is on Mandatory Locker Check as Kenny walks up and demands a reason as to why she just broke up with him in a letter. He's all, "We've been going out two months and you break up with a note?" He's not even bothering to sign to her anymore. She tells him that there's someone else in her life. She tells him that he's a "great guy" and that she has "a lot of fun" with him. He's all, "Spare me, I read it." Her new guy's name is Matt. She says she cares about him, apologizes, and walks off. He watches her walk up to a big beefy guy. Big Beefy Guy hugs Kim and actually whispers something in her ear, which I find strange, but whatever. They walk off with their arms around each other. Kenny is not amused.
The police officer asks to see Mitch's license and registration. Mitch says that the other guy ran the stop sign. The officer asks if Mitch had anything to drink this morning. Mitch laughs and says that it's only nine o'clock. The officer says that Mitch was weaving. Mitch says that he was on the phone and stuff. The officer asks Mitch to step out of the car. Mitch scoffs at the sobriety test, and I'm wondering if he's in such a hurry, and innocent, then why he's stalling and laughing, making himself look even more guilty. The officer asks Mitch to take ten paces heel to toe. Mitch keeps falling and stumbling. He says that he's nervous, but the officer asks him to turn around. He cuffs him and says he has to take him into the station. Fade to white as Mitch is put in the squad car.
Oh, how I missed the opening theme song. "Family!"
Mitch is at the doctor's office with Mary. We know it's a doctor's office because there are sixteen x-rays behind him of various chests and brains. Not Mitch's, of course, but it makes things look more official. Mitch tells the doctor that he passed the breath test, but he failed all of the motor skills tests for the sobriety test. The doctor asks if Mitch has been having any problems with mobility. Mitch says that he fell the other day. Mary interrupts with a, "You didn't tell me that," as she fills out another page in her, "Keeping Constant Track of Your Family's Every Breathing Moment" journal. Mitch said he thought nothing of it, and that he was just being klutzy. Mitch says he gets the occasional headache, but he takes an aspirin and then he's fine. The doctor asks how work is going for him. Before Mitch can inhale, Mary tells the doctor that Mitch is under "a lot of stress." Gee, I wonder how that's possible. The doctor says that Mitch was just fine four months ago at his last physical. He says that this is probably just stress, and the first signs of hypertension. He tells Mitch to try some simple lifestyle changes (rest, exercise, diet) before they try any medication. He tells Mitch to come back in week, and to try not to drive until then. Mitch says that's impossible, but Mary interrupts to say that she'll make sure he doesn't drive. The doctor says this is all just a sign of getting older. Mary gives Mitch the "So, shut up, you old coot" look. "We're yet to find a cure for the common birthday," quips Heir Doctor. Yuk, yuk, yuk. As the doctor leaves, Mitch complains that his grandfather was ninety before they took his license away. Mary says that it's just temporary. Much exhaling.