You love it. You crave it. You're almost out of it. It's time to Get Real.
Previously on Get Real: Cameron and Slutgirl were kinda-sorta hooking up, but Slutgirl was giving mixed signals. Mitch was just "trying to" hold his house together, since he's losing money quite quickly on that Frisky Father Firehouse.
Kenny kicks off the episode: "My life is over." Meghan walks over to see what the problem is. It's Kenny's driver's license. He's barely got his eyes open in his photo. But if you're curious, ladies:
Kenneth Steven Green
877 Pinecrest Road
Pola Verdes, CASex: M Hair: Brown
Height: 5'9" Weight: 165
The date of the license says "07/23/1999," but we won't worry about that.
Oh, and I already checked it on Yahoo! Maps: there's no Pinecrest in Pola Verdes.
Meghan tells Kenny that it's only four years until he can get a new photo. The few minutes are spent with Meghan and Elizabeth giving a PSA in favour of organ donors. Elizabeth tells him it's to "harvest [his] organs." Kenny likens it to corn. Elizabeth points out that they won't do it while he's still alive. He says that he doesn't want a doctor jumping the gun. Meghan tells him that if it bothers him then he can leave the organ donor sticker off his license. The Center of the Universe II has spoken. ["I assume no one expected a Green do make a decision that was totally unselfish." -- Wing Chun]
Crisis Center. Jumpy Blonde in a leopard-print coat asks Mary how much longer she's going to have to wait. Mary says that they've been very busy. Jumpy Blonde asks if she can talk to Mary. Mary says that she's "just a volunteer" and that she's "not allowed to talk to the clients." This, of course, gets Jumpy Blonde all teary and she gets up to leave. Mary follows her, since no one is technically allowed to storm out on the Center of the Universe and shouts, "Stop!" She apologizes to Jumpy Blonde for sounding like they were too busy for her. Jumpy Blonde says that she just feels really overwhelmed and that she's having "shortness in breath." Doctor Mary tells her it sounds like anxiety attacks. Mary starts blabbing to the girl about her own problems until Jumpy Blonde looks a bit bored. She invites Jumpy Blonde back into the clinic. She puts her arm around her and walks her in.
Mitch is going on about the firehouse. To Tom Arnold. Really. It's Tom Arnold. Why would he know the Greens? Oh, right. The Stupids. Tom is interested in buying the Frisky Father Firehouse. Tom thinks that Mitch is asking for too much money. It's really boring builder-speak here, so I'll spare you.
School Without Classes. Cameron is wearing one of those big, strappy backpacks that looks like he's carrying a toddler. Meghan is at Mandatory Locker Check. He asks Meghan if she's seen Slutgirl because he's wondering why she stood him up for the meteor shower. "Cam, look, if you wanna know something about Jodie, ask her," Meghan brats. Meghan sneers and says she's not "thrilled" about Cam "hooking up with her," and she doesn't want to be in the middle. Cam follows her and says, "Oh, my God, can we say, 'Bug up your ass?'" We can, Cam. And we do. Meghan says that her issue with Slutgirl is "the same as [her] issue with Stephanie. She's [Meghan's] friend and [Cameron's] trying to get in her pants." Stephanie? We missed a friend? Somebody call Lily. "That's not fair. Stephanie is ancient history." "Yeah, she is now. She was my friend." Weren't they all? Meghan says that Cam is just a "player" and that he better not hurt Slutgirl. Meghan gives some warning about Slutgirl's not being as tough as she seems. "FYI? Jodie stood me up, remember?" The five-note jingle remembers. Yes, it does.
Back at Center of the Universe Clinic, Mary has brought the distraught Blonde back inside. I'm so happy to see the head Clinic woman. It's Conchata Ferrell. She used to be on that comedy show ER with Elliot Gould and a very young George Clooney. I still remember the episode where her husband called the hospital when she was working late and sang a song to her that he had written. "I love a woman with love handles/ something I can hang onto/ I love a woman with love handles/ my sweet, sweet mama that's you." I understand that it is sick and wrong that I still remember that song and that show and that I'm the only person, but if the writer of "Love Handles" happens to be reading this, here's a big shout-out to you. I also thought this woman had died years ago, so I'm happy to find out she's still cranking out cameos as nurses and counselors. ["She is also currently lighting up the big screen in Erin Brockovich, in which she gets to be wicked bitchy to Julia Roberts. If you hate Julia Roberts, I highly recommend it." -- Wing Chun] Distraught Blonde is named Karen. Love Handles apologizes for her wait as they stand in front of Distraught Blonde II who shows her distraughtness by pulling on her hair and pouting. Mary sits at her desk and looks smug. I know, it's not like this is a new thing, but she is. Karen tells Love Handles that waiting is really hard for her and that Mary told her she was suffering from anxiety attacks. Mary gives the "busted!" face. Love Handles tells the woman "just walking by like any other good extra" to show Karen into her office. "Go home," Love Handles barks to Mary, "we'll talk about this tomorrow." See why I love this woman? Tight zoom on Mary as she thinks, "But I'm just going to end up being right about all of this. I mean, I am Mary Green. Whatever, lady, I'm not punching out. I'll go home, but it's only because I want to let my mother out of the basement."