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And we're back just in time to say our goodbyes. Y'all, if this episode is any indication, I don't know how I'm going to handle this season, with all these kids constantly growing and leaving, the whole process like some unstoppable force of nature that we will never understand or fully countenance.
When we last saw everyone in Dillon, it was Thanksgiving. It's August now, Coach is still coaching the underdog East Dillon Lions and Tami, having left her job as principal at West Dillon, has joined him on the other side of the tracks as a perpetually underfunded and unsupported guidance counselor.
There's a Big Game, and Coach gets Vince and Luke to recruit a hippie, white-man-can-jump newcomer to join the football team as a receiver. Hastings (Hastings!) likes to think he's inscrutable (an intellectual jock?!), but he's obviously just one puka-shell necklace away from doing keg stands while Widespread Panic plays in the background. (How much did I just date myself? Sigh. No matter how far we travel through time, all my references continue to be from the '90s). Don't get me wrong, though, Hastings is pretty hot and brings some sizzle to his interactions with Jess, who Vince deploys to help with the recruiting, but who obviously is feeling some heat from Hastings that Vince would prefer to douse. The Big Game comes around and thanks in part to a well-timed injury sustained by the opposing quarterback, the Lions actually win!
Becky's mom is working some job out of town and has stashed her daughter with the dad and step-mom. When the dad takes off trucking, Becky and the step-mom clash, so the girl seeks out refuge in the Riggins' household. Tim told her that his family was her family, and no matter how much stinkface Mindy gives her, she's going to take him up on it. Meanwhile, Tim is still in jail (thankfully one of those progressive-type jails that let you keep your hair all long and luscious), and Billy is still trying to figure out how to be a man. To that end, Billy volunteers to help coach the East Dillon Lions, and Coach Taylor gives him a chance, and then valiantly controls his eye-rolling impulse when Billy brings ridiculous self-help quotes to read to the players for "inspiration."
And, finally, Landry and Julie are both off to college. Their goodbyes are wrenching-- Landry spending some quality time with Grandma Saracen, Julie gently clashing with her parents in that way we all do when trying to disentangle ourselves from our parents' worlds-- but it's time. At least that's what I'm telling myself for now.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Golden August light, one last time. No season opener will ever beat Season Two's for me, but I can't say I'm not completely elated to be back in the car, driving around Dillon, listening to Slammin' Sammy Meade shoot the shit. Sammy's topic this morning is the Whataburger Football Classic, in which the East Dillon Lions will be playing as major underdogs. Cut over to Vince and Luke running along a road shimmering with Texas August heat. Cut to Julie, getting off the phone with her new college roommate. Tami, lurking in the doorway, wants to get the scoop, but Julie brushes her off with the slightest of info ("Her name is Kim and she's from Corpus"). Tami exposits that since Julie isn't letting her parents drive her to school, the least she could do is serve up a little more dish on this roommate Tami won't get to meet right away. They look at each other across the kitchen table piled high with going-to-college supplies. And those anxious, exasperated looks... well, anyone else now remembering how complicated the relationship with your mom got the summer before college?
Buddy is still working the airwaves to drum up community love for the East Dillon Lions. He's talking about the Big Game coming up and we cut over to the East Dillon locker room, where the assistant coaches are sitting around listening to and grinning at Buddy's on-air antics. Coach comes in and reminds them, sternly, that they've got a game in three days and they need to stop messing around and get their shit together. "I do not like the way this is starting out" Coach declares. Well, sir, we'll have to agree to disagree, since you are wearing your hot dad man shorts which makes me quite happy with the way this season is starting out.
Billy visits Tim in jail, and we all breathe a sigh of relief as Tim's hair is still long and flowing, complimenting his prison garb quite nicely. Billy exposits that Tim has about three months left, and then Billy tries to make small talk about starting to coach football as a volunteer. Billy declares that the way he sees it, he was kind of a coach to Tim, but Tim quickly cuts him off, "Coach was my coach, Billy." Ouch. Billy asks if Tim could be a little more enthusiastic about this plan and Tim is like "I'M IN PRISON, Billy," and we all know he's probably also thinking "Taking the fall for YOU, dumbass." Billy tells Tim that he thinks every day about what Tim did for him and his family, and that he really wants to change. Tim just keeps looking off into the middle distance. Visiting hours are announced as over and Tim tells Billy as he leaves that he doesn't need to come so often, and that he hopes Billy will tell Becky the same thing. Hoo boy, am I itching for Tim Riggins to get out of jail already so I can see where this angry energy can take him. I like this boy riled up.
Credits. Little clues as to the season to come: Becky and Luke get closer, Buddy opens a bar/restaurant?!
East Dillon High. Principal Levi and a bunch of teachers are crammed into an under-air-conditioned room looking ill-funded and put upon. There's one particularly sassy female teacher giving Levi lip about how boring his budget talks are. Levi introduces Tami, who is like a fresh sprig of mint in this sagging room. She chirps about how glad she is to be joining them. Levi starts to move on to the item when Tami interrupts him and asks if now is the time for suggestions and questions. Levi is like, "Lady, none of us get paid enough to think up 'suggestions'" but lets her go ahead. She chirps along about how at West Dillon, they found that handwritten letters of recommendation made a huge difference in their college acceptance rate and that she knows it's more work for the teachers, but it really is a help. Everyone in the room sort of rolls their eyes at her but nobody challenges the obvious falsity of this statement. What college in the universe wants to read a bunch of hand scrawled letters?! Anyhow, they move on, and the sassy teacher in the corner starts bitching about having "Epic" in her homeroom again this year and then says that "she's a complete nightmare, it'd be better if she didn't show up to school." Tami is SHOCKED that in AMERICA in THIS DAY AND AGE a teacher would say such a thing about the precious angels who populate our high schools. I for one cannot wait to meet this Epic person. Also, y'all might as well know that I'm currently pregnant and casting about for names for this baby. "Epic" just went to the top of that damned list.
Jess and Vince hang laundry outside her house while her brothers act like fools shooting each other with the hose. While Janelle Monae plays in the background, there's lots of exposition about how her father has been gone for a while and her aunt isn't home right now. Vince asks her exaggeratedly if she needs help INSIDE with the laundry, and she says "Why, yes!" They tumble towards the door while her brothers come around to gawk, "Ooooh, they're gonna do it!" Vince tells them to beat it and closes the door.
Becky's dad loads up his truck to head out on the road for a couple of weeks, and we got a lot more exposition about how her mom is out of town working on a casino boat (ha!) and for the time being, Becky has to stay at home with her step-mom and step-sister. Becky is not happy about this. The step-mom, Dorreen, comes out with a baby on her hip declaring "Packed you Lunchables, Red Bull, Nicorette." If that's not one of those Hemingway six-word stories, I don't know what is. They engage in some gross making out, and then Becky's dad comes right over to her and kisses her on the cheek with that same nasty step-mom trench mouth. Becky practically shudders and her father drives off.
Billy pitches himself to Coach, he's played the game a long time, it's in his blood. Coach points out that there's a big difference between playing and coaching and Billy leans forward and tells him that this isn't about the money, though that will help, but about how he respects Coach, that Coach is a "molder of men" (as Tami once put it), and how, now that he's a father, Billy thinks it'd be really good to be around someone like Coach right now. Damn, Coach Taylor, what an exhausting job. Cleaning up after other men's poor fathering. But Coach does the right thing (as always) and gives Billy a shot.
Crucifictorious! One last practice in Landry's garage. Devin is there, being super cute still, Jimmy the drummer is "being a little flashy" (as Landry calls it), trying to spin his drumsticks. We learn that they've got a big show ("The Last Waltz") on for Thursday night, the night before Landry leaves for college. Devin and Jimmy seem a little reluctant, seemingly only to give Landry the chance to be overly enthusiastic about how this is going to be a historic rock show for Dillon, one that their grandchildren will talk about. "Shit, Jimmy, you might even get laid."
Buddy and Coach lurk around the basketball courts of East Dillon. Buddy tells Coach that Vince is a great quarterback, but he needs someone to throw to. He points Coach's attention to a kid who's dominating on the court, driving the ball and dunking and shit. "It's the white kid," Buddy notes, which makes me chuckle. The kid's name is Hastings Ruckle. Coach: "Ruckle? What the hell kind of name is that?" Buddy: "It's Welsh." Cut to Buddy and Coach alone with Hastings, grilling him on his basketball stats. Hastings gives them a talking-to about football. He doesn't like it, with its "bunch of 'roided-out freaks trying to hit me. Football's stupid." And here we wish Coach wasn't wearing his hat, because you KNOW his hair would get all "Oh, ho, ho, ho, hold up now." Hastings continues "Football celebrates the worst instincts in American culture. Rushing, violence..." and Coach can't take it anymore, "Naw, naw, what football celebrates is teamwork and character." But Hastings still isn't convinced. He doesn't like all the equipment, the pads and cups-- Coach guffaws, "We don't wear cups in footb
all." Coach gets to the heart of the matter, "Where are you from anyway?" and Hastings tells him, from all over. His family has moved a lot for work. And here's the rub. What's been the problem with why this show hasn't ever had the audience it deserves. People don't know how to access the Texas in them. And let me tell you, if you DON'T have Texas in you (I sure as hell do, NYC-living be damned, I was born in Houston, holla!), well we are sorry for you. Coach informs Hastings, "Well, you live in Texas now. You love football, you just don't know it yet." Damn straight, Coach Taylor!
Breakfast time at the Taylors! Our favorite time of the imaginary day! Tami is shocked, going through the files on her students, all kinds of arrest records, and lack of guidance counseling! Coach tells her to slow down, she's not the big cheese anymore and has to follow the rules. Tami retorts that he isn't following the rules, trying to steal a basketball player. Coach points out that he is doing that, but he's doing it "one step at a time." He yells for Julie the minute she walks into the kitchen. Julie gives her mom the business about taking her shopping for school stuff and bitches about her dad's declaration that he's cooking ribs tonight. She slumps into her kitchen seat. And even though she's been all teenaged privilege and complaint, her dad stops for a minute and looks at her intently. She asks "What?" and he says "I'm gonna miss this." And we see that, if it gets complicated between moms and daughters right before they separate for college, between daughters and dads it gets nostalgic. Both ways are incredibly sweet.
Commercials. Billy introduces himself to the Lions. Once he gets to the Regular Person End of his introduction, Coach claps his hands ready to get practice started. But Billy Riggins is keen on inappropriate/misplaced sincerity, and so he barrels ahead, saying to the kids that he's heard a rumor that they think they're going to get run over by the quarterback of the opposing team, and he wants to share with them an inspiring quote from one of his heroes. And then fumbles to take this little piece of paper out of his pockets. And everyone is like yawning, checking their watches, whistling, et cetera. Billy reads off, "If you can believe it, your mind can achieve it." Billy Riggins, folks. Unable to memorize ten words, but trying his hardest to finally learn how to be an adult.
Practice starts and Coach pulls Vince and Luke aside. After shooing a nosy Billy away, Coach asks Luke and Vince to convince Hastings to go out for football. He says he doesn't care how they do it, and Luke tells him that he can count on them.
Tami talks a mile a minute to Principal Levi about how she's identified all the most at-risk kids and she's going to start at home and get their parents to come in for a meeting. Levi is like "give it a rest" but Tami won't quit. He tells her that they've got limited resources and she brightly declares that she's his resource! He turns to leave and she calls him back real quick: she needs a phone that works. He looks at her and says, "Resources."
Jess at her dad's restaurant. She exposits to Vince that her dad was supposed to be gone opening one franchise of Ray's B-B-Q, but now he's opening three, which means he'll be gone in Dallas for a while. Jess says it's bad timing, especially with her one brother Andre acting out so much. Vince has about as much interest in that storyline as we do so he thankfully changes it. He tells her about Coach's recruiting plan and asks if she wants to go to a party Luke's having out at the ranch while his parents are away to help them seal the deal with Hastings. Sounds kind of kinky, if you ask me. Jess's aunt pipes up from the background that she'll watch the boys and Jess should go to the party. Jess and Vince smile big smiles, and, man, if these two ever have a baby, that baby's dimples are going to swallow up the world. Jess asks who this kid is that they're recruiting and Vince jokes, "Oh, he's not the punter, so you wouldn't be interested." Poor Landry.
Grandma Saracen's house. I feel so warmly toward this house, even just seeing it from the outside. Landry's inside visiting. She tells him that Matthew calls her every week after Inside Edition. Her nurse is in the background. I feel so lonely and desolate all of a sudden. What does Grandma do all day? Landry has also been struck by the sadness of the world, remarking that it's quiet in there. Grandma says it sure is. Landry tells her that he really misses Matt and she nods and then raises her glass of tea and remarks how nice it is to have company. Landry tells her that he's saying his goodbyes before leaving for college. Grandma rocks in her recliner saying that she knows he's leaving, heading off to Rice University. Landry likes that she remembered and she says "In Dallas" while Landry corrects her, "That's SMU. Rice is in Houston." Grandma rocks and sighs and Landry gets ready to go. He tells her she doesn't have to get up and she says "The hell I don't! Come over here, I'm gonna hug your neck." They hug and Landry's expression is inscrutable. It's so hard to leave these spaces where you've spent so much time. It's so melancholy, and really when you're going through it as a young person you don't fully understand it. Which is why we need art like this show to reflect it back to us.
Landry jokes with the nurse about keeping an eye on Grandma, since she likes to sneak out to go dancing at night. Before he heads out, Grandma calls after him to keep up with his music. She says that she's got his music right there on her "MP player"-- and then (please get your tissues ready) holds up her blood pressure monitor to show him. Landry gently notes, "It's in there, huh?" He heads out the door and the camera pulls back to really go for the kill: panning down to find Grandma Saracen's foot tapping on that floor (now covered in carpet). And I guess I didn't really even see this coming, but I think we just said goodbye to Grandma Saracen, full circle with that tapping foot.
Becky tries to feed her step-sister and Doreen comes in and bitches at her for doing it wrong. Meanwhile, Doreen is smoking a cigarette, which Becky tells her she shouldn't do around the baby. Doreen tells her that she doesn't need her help and Becky stomps out of the room.
Dinner time at the Taylor house! I want to eat all my meals at the Taylor house. Tami hangs up the phone, exasperated, saying that it's like she's asking these parents to come in for a colonoscopy. Coach reminds her that school hasn't even started yet. Tami puts a dish on the table and trills "We've got cobbler!" But Julie says she has to go, she wants to make it to Landry's last concert. Tami says she thought they were having family time, and Julie points out they've been doing that for the past hour and a half. Tami: "Oh, you've been watching the time?" Julie persists, she doesn't want to be late for Landry. Coach can't believe she doesn't have fifteen minutes for cobbler which her mother made. Julie takes a deep breath and wills herself not to escalate. What a grown-up! She says that she really appreciates the dinner and loves them, but she promised Landry. Then she's out the door.
Commercials. Crucifictorius's final concert (tears!). There's at least twenty people in the audience, which obviously confirms all that Landry said the show would be. Cut over to the party at Luke's house. Hope his mom is more lenient on house parties than she is on abortions, because this party looks huge and kind of major. Keg stands, et cetera. Luke tries to recruit Hastings by talking about how much he'll get noticed for playing football. Hastings is like "You guys were 2 and 8 last year." Luke, obviously kind of drunk, changes tacks, "You have to meet Mirabelle!" Vince, off to the side, grimaces. Luke drags Hastings out to look at their prize-winning pig, who has a ring of drunk kids hanging on her fence shouting "Kiss her! Kiss her!" Vince sends Jess in, as it seems unlikely that Hastings will be convinced to take up the pigskin by kissing a, well, pig. Jess doesn't think her "girl charm" will work, but goes over anyway. She pulls him away from Drunk Luke (who I quite like!) and tells it to him straight. Hastings tells her that the guys needing him is making him kind of "sweaty." She's like "sweaty?" and he explains, "Stressed out. I like doing things I want to do. I'm a free spirit." Jess says he may think himself a free spirit, she thinks him a "coward." They've gotten really close and sparks are flying. Vince is looking on, slightly concerned. She turns away from him, leaving him in her wake. Girl Charm ALWAYS works.
Landry and Julie lean on her car outside the Alamo Freeze, drinking some beers. Landry says he's going to really miss The Alamo Freeze, and "all their cool treats and hot eats." He remembers how much he used to go there and annoy Matt while he was working. Julie says she misses Matt, too and then Landry realizes how lame they're being, talking about her boyfrien-- Julie: "Ex-boyfriend"-- on his last night in Dillon, which he always imagined to be epic in some way. Julie grins and asks him, "You want epic" and we cut over to... The Landing Strip!!! Landry's got a lady all up in his lap. He drunkenly stage whispers to Julie, "I think she really likes me!" Julie tells Landry that she's got to go. She reminds Landry to keep money for the cab fare. Landry extricates himself from the boobs and limbs and hugs Julie, drunkenly slurring about how amazing she is and what a bright future she has. She sends him back to "Candy" and he tells her to "stay golden, Julie Taylor." Oh, Julie. You are going to do well in college.
Julie comes home to find her dad still waiting up. His hair is kind of alert but glum. He tells her to come with him out to the garage. She says they don't have to do this, but he says she's crazy if she thinks she's leaving for school without a final championship ping pong game. Julie finds her old Girl Scout badges and they look them over a minute. "So tiny" she says. Coach tells her that he's going to miss getting sick eating all those cookies with her. You guys, it is too cruel. I mean, I know that everyone's relationships with their parents likely improve once they stop living together. But there's something so unique about sharing space like that -- like, you can have a routine of eating too many cookies every once in a while -- that just changes forever once you leave. Coach finds the ping pong paddles and we pull back to watch them play a game in the garage, the door open to the warm August night.
Commercials. The Lions are loaded up on the bus, waiting to head off to the big pre-season game. The coaches go over Hastings' eligibility, and confirm that as long as he enrolls in school, they're fine. Hastings comes out, trailed by, presumably, the basketball coach who is sternly telling him to drop the pads and walk away from football. Hastings wants to play both (which he should be able to, right?). Coach rightly stays silent during the basketball coach's harangue, which ultimately is no match for the kids on the bus chanting "Hastings! Hastings!" He gets on the bus.
Game night. The Lions are major underdogs, point taken when the Crawford Cowboys throw for two touchdowns almost immediately. The Lions are dropping balls all over the place, missing gorgeous passes from Vince. Finally Vince takes things into his own hands and runs for a touchdown, which gives the Lions a little shot in the arm. In the second quarter, the Lions grab an interception and Luke makes a HUGE block as the quarterback tries to tackle the runner. The Lions run it into the endzone and the Cowboys' quarterback is rolling around on the ground in injured pain. He gets up and heads off the field.
At the snack bar, Jess can't keep control over Andre, who complains about the small sized popcorn Jess gets him, starts shouting at her and flings himself around so that he spills popcorn all over the lady behind him. The lady yells at Jess to control her kid and Jess yells "He's not my kid!" and then goes after Andre, who yells at her "You're not my mom!" Well, then! Seems like everyone's in agreement!
Back on the field. Lions pick up a fumble and run for another touchdown, which puts them only 7 points behind. It's late in the fourth quarter and Vince can't get the ball past the Cowboy defense, which has this one kid who can get major air. On the sidelines, Hastings says he knows that kid and knows he can out jump him. Coach is like, "Uh, well, son, you have never played football before ever, but sure?" Coach rattles a play off and asks if Hastings knows what he's even saying and Hastings says he does. Coach: "Just do your best" and sends him out there.
The announcers have no idea who #88 is, and trip over his name. Hastings looks completely lost out on the field, but takes off running on the snap. Vince is getting pressure and just throws the ball long where it arcs over and into the high jumping Hastings' hands. Time is about out and the Lions are down 1 point, so Taylor calls for them to go for two. The ball is snapped and they do some "fancy schmancy" (the technical term used by the announcers) moves, faking the Cowboys out and sending Luke into the endzone. Lions win!!! The kids celebrate by shouting "East side! East side!"