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Tim Riggins is living with the Taylors, and each time he grins, a little gleaming spark bounces off his teeth like "ding!" He takes care of baby Grace! Fixes the cable! Plays ping-pong with Coach! Saves Julie from a twister! And then from an awkward encounter with Matt! And then from almost-certain date rape at a party! But he still gets thrown out of the Taylor household when Coach catches him in Julie's room, trying to get the poor drunk girl to bed. Coach is in the wrong, since it really isn't Tim Riggins he should have been worried about; it was Julie and Shelly that were looking at Tim like he was the sleekest hitchin' post in town to wrap one's reins around.
It turns out that that damned twister knocked down the school one town over, so the douchebag Larrabee football team takes up temporary residence in Dillon High's cafeteria, football field, and locker room and generally creates havoc, with the blessings of their coach. In case you weren't sure who the good guys were, all the Larrabee kids (and coach) appear to have been cast out of the reject piles from Cavemen and the new MTV Challenge, Dueling Hydrocephalics. Coach Taylor tries to teach his boys to be proud and upstanding in the (bloated and pocked) faces of their enemies, but ultimately has to mark his locker room territory a little more obviously. Boys. Always lifting their legs on something or other.
Pam gets engaged to Rice Dream. When Buddy shows up on her doorstep, begging her to forgive him, she tells him the she loves him but it is over. It's really awful to watch Buddy beg that way.
Now that Landry and Tyra have left behind their completely unbelievable murder storyline, they have moved on to attending to their completely unbelievable courtship. Tyra isn't sure about Landry, Landry is goofily endearing, she warily lets him into her heart, wash, rinse, repeat. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
A weather alert beeps across the Taylor's television screen while rain pours down outside. Tim Riggins is playing with Baby Grace. I repeat: Tim Riggins is playing with Baby Grace. That baby can hardly contain itself, it wants to get on the internet and shriek "OMG so hott!!111!!!" so bad. He hands the mewling Gracie over to Shelly for a feeding when Shelly realizes in a panic that they're out of formula. She tells the baby to stop eating so much, and Tim responds that she shouldn't shame the little girl about eating. That leads to anorexia. "Thank you, Oprah, very helpful," Shelly replies, and Tim sheepishly acknowledges his Oprah habit. Shelly announces that "Aunt Shelly's boobies aren't going to do the trick." Tim has apparently learned his lesson about thirtysomething women because he promptly flees the house, offering to go to the store for more formula. Or, you know, wash his "boobied" ears out with bleach. After he leaves, Shelly sort of melts a little (hot pants those must be) and sighs, "God he's cute," before adding for the baby's benefit, "No but he's jailbait, baby, stay away, darlin'." Baby Grace is like, "Step off old lady, Sweet Tush Timmy is mine, waaaahhh waaahhhh goo goo ga ga."
Tim runs through the rain and lightning outside the house toward his truck just as Julie is getting dropped off by the thankless Lois. Tim asks if she needs anything from the store and she asks, while being pelted with rain, whether she can come along. Cut to Tim and Julie in his truck; Julie nervously asks Tim if he's "going to the dance this weekend" and he says no. So then Julie says she's not either, "it'll probably be lame, right?" Taylor Kitsch can really turn it on and off, because there is absolutely no sex coming from his direction in this scene. It's pure older brother at the moment. He tries to ask her about Matt breaking up with the Gidget-haired cheerleader, but Julie just stammers that she doesn't talk to Matt.
Cut to the grocery store parking lot. There's a break in the rain but Tim, doing his best Bill Paxton in Twister, is not easily fooled by that sphinx Mother Nature. Julie wonders what he's doing there gazing up at the churning CGI skies, and Tim silently acknowledges to himself, "Getting ready to save your life, missy." Inside, Tim and Julie chatter about when Gracie will teeth when they hear the newscaster on TV interrupt with a tornado warning. Tim looks out the window meaningfully, and then the tornado appears. The shopkeeper shoos everyone away from the windows, but Julie just stands there motionless. Isn't this girl born and raised Texan? Why doesn't she know what to do here? I mean, if it's all an elaborate ploy (involving coordinated acts of God) to get Tim Riggins's arms around her, then brava! But otherwise... So Tim grabs her hand and pulls her behind a wall underneath a plethora of hanging metal objects. Safe? Hardly. Romantic. Yes! He kneels behind her and wraps her up in his arms as the tornado blows in the glass windows of the store. Swoon!
Credits. The morning. The Taylor household has that special "weather disaster!" feel to it. You know the one, the one where you're all a-twitter and feeling totally exempt from actually doing anything except looking out the window and exclaiming about things. Tami gets off the phone and tries to share her a-twitterness with Julie and Shelly, who are both sitting on the couch gazing out the sliding glass door. Tami is saying something about the school in Larrabee getting totally flattened when she realizes that no one is listening and so follows their gazes out the window to...Tim Riggins, doing his morning sit-ups out on the patio. Tami is exasperated and instructs Julie to go get ready for school. Julie declares her mother "no fun" and leaves. Tami walks around Shelly and just says, "And you? Ew." Succinctly put, Tami Taylor! Shelly dissolves into giggles.
Tami finds Eric in their bedroom just as he hangs up the phone with somebody or other, who has instructed him that the Larrabee football team will be hosted by Dillon while their tinderbox school gets set back up. He's frustrated that the TV is all fuzz; Tami declares "cable's out," like she didn't just stand in front of a befuzzed television set in the family room like a dummy until Julie told her "cable's out." Tami lowers her voice to a whisper and asks, "How long is Tim Riggins gonna be here?" Coach tells her it's just a couple days, but Tami tells him that it isn't working out, that having Tim Riggins in the house with their sixteen-year-old daughter is like keeping a can of gasoline to a lit match. Succinctly put, Tami Taylor! Coach exasperatedly declares that the kid is in trouble and needs a place to stay. Can we pause for a moment to realize that no one has addressed the fact that Tim can't live at home because the neighbor-lady he had a hot affair with moved in to his house because she's now doing his older brother Billy? I mean, they live door to one another. Why did she have to move in? Coach continues, saying he likes having Tim around because "it evens up the gender teams a little." Tami pshaws, "It's not about teams, sweetie!" and they continue their banter out the door.
Lyla is putting her boots on to get ready for another day of Stomping Out Sin when her mom comes in with her Kicked Mah Man To The Curb sleek post-Buddy bob and sits down. She asks Lyla to guess who just got engaged and Lyla literally has not a clue in the world. "Who?" she asks, and Pam extends her left hand toward Lyla and says, "Me!" Oh no! To the health-food-store twat? Mr. Tofu Scramble himself? Lyla tears up, puts a mask of a smile on her face, and tells her mom congratulations. Except her well wishes are mitigated by the fact that she jerks her face away from her mother's attempted cheek caress. Burn, lady!
On The National Geographic Channel, two warring factions of chimps are busy peeing on separate areas of macadam out in front of a high school. Wait, what? It's Dillon High, and the Larrabee football goofs are getting off the bus while the Dillon Panthers watch. Meanwhile, Coach is getting interviewed so that he can exposit that Larrabee and Dillon are district rivals. So this cohabitation is going to see some antler-locking on the parts of the hormonal boys. And speaking of hormones: what kind of crazy industrial-farming hormones have the Larrabee boys been eating? They are all seriously fugly. This fact is not lost on the Dillon pretty boys (who may as well have emerged straight out of Herb Ritts's dreams). They point out one dude with ridiculous hair and a sallow, meaty face: "Look at the one with the hair" -- before Santiago jumps in with the incredulous observation, "What, does he got a twin?" The repartee is smoothly finished by Smash Williams, who declares, "Yeah, from the wrong end of the gene pool." Don't worry, Larrabee, I hear Bunim-Murray is casting right now; all you have to be able to do to get on one of their shows is be able to blow yourself. Coach continues interviewing, saying that as long as Coach Dickie (get it? get it?) doesn't stir things up, they're happy to host the rival team. Cut back to the boys, where Smash gets in another zinger about the be-froed one: "What is this, Napoleon Dynamite?" Then the Dillon boys go a little quiet as a particularly missing-link-looking motherfucker walks by. Apparently it's Larrabee's QB1.
In the cafeteria there are a lot of embarrassing hand gestures being thrown, accompanied by an even more embarrassing repeated utterance of the word "dog" in reference to the other guy. Landry and Tyra are eating and Landry wonders if they are the Sharks or the Jets. Tyra doesn't know what he's talking about so he tries to explain: West Side Story, two rival gangs, town's not big enough for the both of them. Tyra doesn't care. Which is the way I like her. Hear that? I prefer when Tyra is busy not caring about Landry and instead marching around BEING AWESOME. They have some cute repartee which Landry misinterprets as an invitation to hold Tyra's hand. Like he's in kindergarten. Tyra pulls away and glances around to see if anyone noticed. Landry just thinks that now the whole murder thing is over, that maybe they could, you know... Tyra unconvincingly explains that she's just in a bad mood and then gets up and leaves.
Cut to a really weird scene where we cut around, watching Buddy frolic with his kids at a podunk amusement park. Here they are racing go-karts! Here they are playing Dance Dance Revolution! Air hockey! Video games! The weirdest part is that it is set to a cover of "Do You Believe In Magic" by Disney tween songstresses Aly and AJ. Which might make sense if it were a song that was, like, playing in the background of the scene as a part of the sound design, rather than as an excessively twee and unsubstantial soundtrack. But whatevs. Who can complain, because once the FAMILY FUN montage ends, we cut to Buddy and Lyla having sodas, Buddy leaning back in his chair and sighing, "Well that was FUN!" I love Buddy. Lyla ruins it, though, by demanding that her father address "the elephant in the room." Buddy doesn't know what she's talking about, so she clarifies: "Mom and Kevin's wedding?" Buddy clearly is not in the loop on Pam's engagement and his face goes slack, unbelieving: "You are telling me that she is gonna marry that little tree-hugger?" Buddy gets up and storms off, kind of hyperventilating over it all.
Locker room. All the boys -- Dillon and Larrabee -- are packed in there while Coach sets the ground rules. They'll be taking shifts on the practice field, weight room, and showers, and sharing the locker room. "No guff about it" is Coach's instruction. Except Coach Dickie immediately starts giving guff. He tells Coach to kick the girls' soccer team out of the visitors' locker room. Coach refuses. Then Dickie complains about the weight room, that the machines are more suited for his wife than for his players. The Larrabee boys (in red) murmur approval of his zinger. Coach replies sweetly that the machines might not even be good enough for Dickie's wife (presumably named Ima?) but that they were good enough for a state championship. The Dillon boys (in blue) are like, "Burn!" Dickie then retorts that maybe if Coach had stayed at TMU, he could have won "another one" in college. Another one what? State championship? I don't think they have those in college, smarty. My readers (in multi-colored hues) are totally like, "Oooooo!" at my own entry into this game of dork-upmanship. Coach ends the verbal jostling by graciously saying, "Welcome to Dillon. It is our pleasure to have you here, we are your hosts."
Coach walks out into the backyard of his house on the phone. He's bitching to somebody about Coach Dickie, declaring that he's like "Coach Crybaby." He says he wants to take a football and "shove it up the S.O.B.'s rear end." He turns around and sees Tim Riggins out there, bent in front of the cable box. Coach gets off the phone and tells Tim to keep what he just heard to himself. Tim grins and winks at Coach, and seriously there may as well have been a little diamond flash of light glinting off the charming boy's teeth. One of the women inside yells that the cable is fixed, and Coach thanks Tim and heads back in.
Lois is about to toss her bra onto the bookshelves in the library as Julie tells her about how Tim Riggins saved her from the tornado. "Tim Riggins was holding you?!" Julie clarifies that he was holding her protecting her, not holding her "oh, I love you." Lois wants to know what he smells like. Julie cutes, "No, really, Lois, that's like pathetic. Like here's you" -- makes a level with her hand -- "and here's pathetic" -- makes another level with her hand. "You're like going below yourself." Well, get her on a Bunim-Murray show, then! Landry comes up and sits to Julie. Lois leaves. No one thanks her. Good ol' thankless Lois. Landry says he needs Julie's advice, even despite what she did to his best friend. Who's that again? Oh, right, Matt Saracen, one of the many to be left on the side of the road, hitchin' towards a decent storyline. Landry tells Julie this is top-secret advice that he needs, and then explains that he and Tyra have "a...a...beautiful...thing." Julie looks up and laughs, "So you and Tyra have a beautiful thing?!" Long story short, Landry wants to know what sort of flower -- rose or carnation -- to get Tyra for the fall formal. Julie wonders if Tyra knows that Landry is taking her to the dance, and then bitches at him to just go ask Tyra what kind of flower she wants.
Tyra sits outside when The Missing Link sits down to her and says he's "Chip." No, sir. You are The Missing Link. Tyra doesn't even look at him. For my part, all I am looking at is Tyra's luscious bosom. I mean, hot damn, woman. The Missing Link literally licks his finger and then wipes said finger on her shirt and says, "Let's get you out of those wet clothes." Aaaargh! Tyra finally looks up and declares that if he ever touches her again, she'll kick him so hard his balls will be nonexistent. Hey, I think Bunim-Murray is looking for that, too! She gets up and leaves; he follows and begs her to go to the dance with him. She beelines it for Julie; The Missing Link calls after her, calling her "Unnamed Goddess Girl."
Cut to Julie and Tyra walking up the stairs while Julie asks Tyra who the tool is. And I have to beg your pardon because it's hard to concentrate on what either of these two is saying because of the quadruple whammy of their luscious bosoms. It's like I somehow got trapped inside an issue of Maxim. Tyra tells Julie that the guy calling after her is "just some douchebag named Chip." Julie says that "he's okay." Jules! No! Julie tells Tyra that Landry wants to ask her to the dance, and Tyra's ten-foot-long neck expresses dismay. She slowly asks Julie if she can keep something private, and Julie is like, "What? About you and Landry having a thing?" Tyra wants to know where she heard, and Julie assures her that such news is not all over the school. Julie blabbers on about orchids while Tyra continues trying to deny her relationship with Landry. Julie asks Tyra if she likes Landry, and Tyra smiles and says that he's funny and sweet and funny. Julie asks, "So, then, what's the problem?" Tyra has no answer.
Locker room. The Panthers come in and find that the Larrabee boys have wrecked hacky havoc on their stuff -- Gold Bond powder in helmets, men's magazines in their lockers, mean nicknames taped up on their lockers. The Galoot calls everyone's attention to the fact that the Larrabee boys left their stuff in there, too, so the Panthers start going to town with the silly string and the clothes-tossing to and fro. Silly string. Really? There's a disjunction between their tough talk, pumped-up muscles, and use of the silly string. It's kind of awesome. Anyhow, Coach Taylor comes upon all this nonsense and yells at them. End scene.
On the practice field, Larrabee is taking more than their allotted time. Coach Dickie is on the field acting penile and shouting and basically being short. Coach Taylor approaches him and discreetly informs him that his time on the practice field is up. Dickie is a dick about it at first, pretending not to have noticed. Taylor tells him to wrap it up and then yells at Dickie about the kids getting into the Dillon lockers. Taylor tells Dickie that they both know something is brewing; Eric would like to avoid it. Dickie gets his kids off the field.
Tyra takes drink orders at work at Applebee's. Landry comes in and approaches her: "Excuse me, ma'am, my riblets are cold. It's unacceptable." Tyra drily notes that he always uses that joke and Landry protests before realizing that he does. He follows her to the computer where she puts in the order. He apologizes for grabbing her hand; Tyra keeps trying to put him off, get him to leave. But Landry pushes on, and asks her to go to the dance with him on Friday. Tyra hesitates, and Landry brightly tells her that these are their golden years. Wow. Golden years, you say? I can't wait to see what crimes you commit once you don't have anything more to live for! So Landry keeps pushing and pushing until Tyra finally says that she's going to the dance with somebody else. Landry is crushed. Tyra feels bad about herself.
At the Taylors', Tim and Julie sit at the kitchen bar doing homework; Tami is at the table working on her laptop. Shelly comes home and Tim greets her with an endearing "Hey Shells." He walks over to the refrigerator and grabs a beer. Tami yells over, "Uh uh, no! No!" Shelly cackles. Julie smirks. Tami watches Shelly undress the boy in her mind. Tim sits back down and propositions Shelly: "Fifty bucks if you finish this essay." Tami is called upon again to be the only female person in the world left unaffected by the Riggins Musk: "You have got to be kidding me. Doing that right in front of me?" Shelly declares she's doing her own homework on transfer of title. They all settle in for a half second before Shelly wonders what's on Oprah. Tim hops up to join her on the couch while Tami tries to protest about needing to get work done and letting the baby sleep. They turn the TV on and are not greeted by Nate Berkus, but instead by soft core porn. Tim is quick to acknowledge that this is his "bad," but slow to get up to turn it off. Julie giggles and says, "That is not Oprah." Tami's head is practically spinning on its axis. Tim finally turns it off, trying to pretend that it's just crossed wires from fixing the cable. Tami throws them all out of the room, including Shelly. As Shelly leaves, she tells Tami, "Don't even try to tell me you're not gonna watch that tonight, cuz I know you." Hee. I love finding things like that out about Tami Taylor.
At the laundromat, Coach keeps Buddy company while he does his laundry. Buddy gives Coach good advice about not getting too worked up about the Coach Dickie situation, and then tells Coach that Pam is getting remarried. Coach has literally zero advice for Buddy. Buddy goes on about how Pam is the love of his life -- that she was in the stands watching him win the state championship in high school, how they opened the little car lot and built the business together. He asks Coach what he should do, and Eric says nothing, but Buddy doesn't realize it because he's too busy admiring the light bulb stamped with the words "Bad Idea" going off in his head. He decides that he's got to start acting like the fantastic salesman that he is; he's going to go to Pam and "sell her." He chuckles, pleased with himself, and thanks Coach, who is still standing there, his hair trying to tell Buddy that it doesn't know much about the womenfolk either but this "sellin' her" idea doesn't sound so great.
Matt and Carlotta pull up to a barbecue joint where Julie and Tim are happily hanging out doing homework together. That Tim Riggins, he's a pretty go-with-the-flow kind of guy! Julie notices Matt and Carlotta making out in the car and quickly starts packing up her books and asking Tim if he wants to go somewhere else. He doesn't know what's going on until Matt and Carlotta come in and everyone stands around being awkward. Matt moves quickly past Tim and Julie; Julie storms off and Tim follows her.
Buddy rings the doorbell of his old house. Rice Dream answers and sort of stands there dumbly until Pam comes up and tells him to give her a minute with Buddy. Buddy immediately launches into it: "I love you, I have always loved you. You must forgive me. You are the mother of my children, you are my wife." He promises that he will never hurt her again, takes hold of her shoulders, and repeats "I love you." Pam is calm and not angry anymore. She tells him that she loves him, too -- his face lights up -- "but it's over" -- and his face falls. She takes his hands off her shoulders and tells him that everything will be okay. Meanwhile Buddy is losing it, sort of mewling and squeaking like a hurt little animal. She pulls away and looks at him sympathetically and then closes the door. Oh, poor Buddy! How you have grown on me as a character through your travails!
Tami wakes in the middle of the night. She hears noises and gets up to investigate. She finds Coach and Tim in the garage playing ping-pong at five in the morning. They're just having a grand ol' time together. Coach is loopy with the male bonding and asks Tami if, since she's up, she'll make them some egg sandwiches. Tami just turns around and leaves without a word.
Cafeteria. Smash points out to Riggins that Tyra is talking to The Missing Link. Landry is also there, but Landry never interacts with anyone on this show except for Tyra so they've stopped taking notice of him. Tim snarks that for Tyra there's too many men and not enough time. Landry pipes up and tells Tim that not everyone is as easy as he is, and proposes that Tyra is just welcoming the guy to the school. Tim jokes, "Landry, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a virgin." Smash asks Landry if he has a date to the dance, which causes Landry to get up and march toward Tyra. Which never ends well, we've found. Landry asks her for a word, and some Larrabee goofs echo him: "'May I have a word, may I have a word'...who is this homo?" Tyra yells at them to stop, but Landry continues to put himself into situations in which he does not belong. Sigh. Tyra tries to get Landry away from the Larrabee guys, but they keep interjecting, calling him a dork. Landry wonders if The Missing Link was sad when the tornado blew his double-wide trailer away, and then the blond afro kid steps up and Landry calls him Richard Simmons. Heee. The Larrabee kids are closing in on Landry, so the Dillon Panthers get up, heeding this ridiculous call to action. Landry throws the first punch and then the entire cafeteria immediately erupts into a hilarious Roadhouse-style brawl. Shit is flying everywhere, there's lots of ineffectual collar-tugging and exaggerated right hooks, and then -- and THEN! -- Tyra grabs Richard Simmons BY HIS HAIR, drags him around, and smashes his head into some glass.
I'll pause to let that sink in. That right there is what pure joy feels like.
Cut abruptly to Coach, presiding over the Dillon Panthers' stair-running punishment. Smash complains that Larrabee isn't getting punished. Coach declares that they are setting an example, and then admits that he knows that Landry Clark started the whole thing. "Broke twelve chairs and an ice cream machine." Is anyone around here wondering if Landry Clark has some rage issues? First a pipe to the head of a stranger, then an ice cream machine? Boy has problems. Coach Dickie calls up from the field and tells Taylor that he's being a hard-ass on his team, giving him the hackneyed "boys will be boys" line. Taylor tells him to mind his own business.
At the Taylors', Shelly is playing with Baby Grace on the couch. Tami comes home and kicks her shoes off with a sigh. She tells Shelly how crazy the day was with the brawl and everything, and then notices a new machine in the kitchen and asks what it is. Shelly excitedly tells her it's this awesome new coffee machine that makes one cup at a time, "cuz you know you guys are always leaving extra in the pot." Tami is unwarrantedly skeptical and bitches that Eric is particular about his coffee. Shelly brushes it off and goes on to show Tami a shirt. "It's for Tim Riggins," she says. Tami moans and tells Shelly that it's inappropriate. Shelly retorts that it's just a shirt; then Tami asks if Shelly even knows how she's been behaving (what a mom word that is, behaving), mooning around flirting with Tim Riggins. Shelly gets pissed and denies ever flirting, and then accuses Tami of being jealous of her. Tami then goes off on Shelly, telling her that she worries about Shelly's life, how she ended up flirting with a teenaged boy, how she refuses to grow up. Shelly retorts that it's because she doesn't want to end up like Tami, and then Tami bitches that "it's no wonder that you're single." Shelly's mouth drops, she takes a moment to regroup, and then comes back with the death blow -- watching these two fight is like watching Ultimate Fighters or something -- to say that it's a wonder Tami feels comfortable leaving her baby in the care of such "an irresponsible little slut." Shelly leaves to go to her room and, she snarks, "read Tiger Beat." But then like a true warrior (i.e., little sister) she returns to drive the sword in a little deeper: "By the way, your baby is in the 70th percentile of height and weight and your pediatrician says hello."
Locker room. The Dillon Panthers are for some reason surprised to find that their stuff has been vandalized again -- this time the Reds have pissed on everything. They spend a lot of time being outraged until Tim marches into the weight room and confronts the Reds. Coach Dickie instructs Tim to hit the showers, but he doesn't back down. One of the Larrabee Genetic Freak Mouth-Breathers says, "Sorry, dooood, I couldn't hold it." Dickie tells Tim to hit the showers again, but Tim goes after the mouth-breather. Coach Dickie rips Tim off his player and throws him to the ground, standing over the boy and yelling at him. Eric Taylor comes out of nowhere and grabs Dickie by the collar and shoves him against the wall and seethes, "If you ever touch one of my players again you'll never coach football again." And then he adds a clause about personally kicking Donald Dickers's (seriously, that's his full name!) ass. The onlooking Dillon Panthers start to laugh at Dickie, but Eric shuts them up and sends them outside to the bleachers. We end on Dickie shouting at his own team, "What are y'all looking at?"
Coach and Julie are loving the new coffeemaker, thanking Shelly and fawning on about it. Shelly gives Tami a pointed look. Tim comes in, and Shelly excuses herself so as "not to do anything inappropriate." Tami asks what everyone wants for dinner before the dance. Tim and Julie inform her that they aren't going. Coach wants lasagna. Tami declares that if they're not going to the dance, then they'll just go out to eat. Julie asks if Tim is ready to go to school, and he tells her to give him a minute. She leaves, her mother following, while Coach stands around muttering about lasagna. Tim takes the moment to thank Coach for helping him out with Dickie. He extends his hand and Coach shakes it, seemingly surprised at such an upstanding gesture.
Cut kind of abruptly to a party where Julie sits with Landry playing quarters. She says relationships suck, and Landry reminds her that she's the one who broke up with Matt. She tells him that it was complicated and then asks Landry if he's still hung up on Tyra. He doesn't really respond, so Julie drunkenly starts blabbering about letting people go, letting them be who they want to be, make out with who they want to make out with. Landry tells her that when you really care about somebody, you don't just give up. He thinks about this for a minute and then gets up to leave, muttering about not giving up.
An all-purpose boy comes in and sits to Julie. A word of clarification about my terminology. The "all-purpose boy" is the boy who appeals to straight women and gay men with his beautiful long lashes and lithe physique; and to straight men and gay women who mistake him for a cute pixie-haired woman. All-purpose, everybody wins! Julie slurs "I know you!" at him, and he tells her that she does know him, from English lit. She invites him to play quarters with her.
Cut to the dance, where the kids are all cranking that. (I linked that for posterity; when they are trying to piece together what our society is about -- because You Tube, like the cockroaches, will survive the end times -- they will watch us Superman that ho, in so many different ways, that they will know with a certainty that we were a great society.) Landry wanders the dance floor and then spots Tyra sitting on the bleachers alone. The Missing Link, it turns out, is puking in the bathroom. Tyra tells Landry that she doesn't know what she was thinking, and then asks him to sit down with her. She tells him that he knows how she feels about him. Landry says he actually doesn't. So she tells him that she likes him a lot, but that he makes her feel too much. She apologizes and asks him for some time to figure things out. But Landry isn't going to take anymore of her guff. He tells her that he knows she's better than going out with The Missing Link, but he doesn't know how to make her know that she's better than that, and he can't wait around for her to figure it out. He leaves; Tyra screws up her pretty face and cries.
Back at the party, Tim finds Julie, totally drunk, on the couch with All-Purpose Boy snuggling in to her. She babbling about bringing yarn art home to her mom and she'd go, "Oh my god! It's so beautiful!" Tim tells her that it's time to go. Tim expertly pulls All-Purpose Boy away by suggesting they go get beers together. Julie wants one, too. Tim gets the kid in a corner and asks him how it's going over there. All-Purpose Boy says that he thinks he's one beer away from getting laid. Cut to Julie, who is giggling and flinging herself around on the couch. Ah, youth. Tim sort of fake-congratulates the kid before leaning in and telling him that if he ever looks at her again -- at school, anytime -- "I swear to God, I'll end you." And that's that.
Cut to Tim carrying Julie inside the house, telling her to be quiet, which she is not doing. Julie is talking about someone wanting to be with Tim -- I guess she's talking about Shelly? He flumps her down on her bed and starts unlacing her shoes. Tim Riggins, for God's sake, turn her on her side and get out of her bedroom! Julie says the whole world is spinning, and he tells her to just keep her eyes open. He decides to shift her up onto her pillows, which requires him to lean over her, her arms around his neck, and lug her body up. Of course, she doesn't let go, and actually appears to be trying to kiss him when Coach comes into her room and gets the whole vignette burned into his eyes. Tim stands up and immediately tries to say that it's not what it looks like, but Coach goes instantly ballistic. He tells Tim repeatedly to shut up, "shut your mouth." Through scarily clenched teeth, he hisses at Tim to get his stuff and get out of the house right now. Tim does as he is told, and we end on Timmy Riggins in his truck once again, not a friend in the world. Oh my God, Jules, you just killed Timmy!