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In Football Town, Coach isn't receiving his full salary and it isn't looking like he'll see that money anytime soon, despite Buddy's (false) promises. For the time being and for extra money he takes on the additional title of "Athletic Director," which Buddy promises is a "gravy train" but turns out to be a position beset by requests from crazy Title IX feminist soccer chicks. Tim Riggins is off the team for missing practices while off having his Mexican Threesome with Jason and Lyla. Despite Smash and the other player's begging Coach Taylor to reinstate Tim, Eric isn't budging. Smash advises Tim to show Coach some of the heart we all know he has, so Tim decides to begin football mentoring Santiago -- Lyla's Latino Project -- who Buddy Garrity has proposed would make a good replacement for Tim. Jason turns nineteen and celebrates in the most depressing way possible: by watching footage of himself playing football before his injury. After talking with Lyla, he realizes that he needs to change something about his life, and so he quits the Panthers and coaching for now. Coach accepts his decision and they have another extremely quality moment together.
In Non-Football Town, Tami's sister comes to visit and generally makes herself a lovable nuisance, like little sisters do. Shelly is well-traveled, adventurous, and sassy; Julie loves her, and she loves to make Tami feel a little dowdy for living in Dillon. But as irritated as Tami gets at her sister, Shelly is there for Tami to lean on when the latter confesses to being in complete shock over the prospect of having to parent for twenty odd more years. Julie apologizes to Matt and truly looks like she regrets everything, until she sees him making out with some other girl and then she just looks pissed.
And in Non-Football Murder Town, Landry's dad puts two and two together when he hears that they found fibers on the dead guy from a car of the same make that Landry drives. He solicits a confession from Landry and then they drive out to the middle of nowhere and set the car on fire, Landry's dad asking for God's forgiveness the whole while. Wow.
Also, did anyone else notice that when Tyra took Julie under her wing after Julie saw Matt making out that she suggested that they gorge themselves on sweets while watching Thelma and Louise? Run away as fast as you can, Julie! Before you find yourself beating someone to death! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We reach new heights of meta with this episode's head-scratchy title, "How Did I Get Here?" It's a question that begs the answer, "It was all just a melodramatic, murderous dream!"
Hopefully NOT a dream is Jason, Tim, and Lyla's Mexican Threesome. We open on them driving back to Dillon in Jason's truck, all looking quite exhausted from their, ahem, exploits. Jason mutters that he's turning nineteen that week and Tim wonders what he got his friend for his birthday last year. Jason reminds him that he didn't give him anything last year, and in fact hasn't given him anything since the time Tim gave him Billy's pool cue. Hmmm. Tim gave Jason a pool cue? That's what she said! Lyla laughs sensuously, remembering the pool cue incident. Jason is depressed to be turning nineteen in Dillon and wonders what he's doing with his life.
At the Taylors', Eric bitches at Julie about doing some chores to help her mother out. Tami comes flouncing into the kitchen wearing a cute black jersey dress and cowboy boots. Favorite outfit ever! Tami is really ramped up, going on and on about how typical it is that her sister's late, that she could have come in a day early to help Tami out on her first day back at work, away from Gracie. But no, "She's always in her own head, in her own headspace." Tami gets distracted when she opens the mail and finds something worrisome about Eric's first paycheck. He comes over to take a look and says that the amount is half what it is supposed to be. Tami wonders what he decided with Buddy and Eric stutters, making it clear that he didn't talk turkey with that turkey. Tami scolds her husband that you can't just "assume" anything about salary when the doorbell rings and she jumps into the air like her ass is on fire, "She's here! She's here!" So cute and so, so family. Her sister drives her nuts but the minute the doorbell rings she's all OMG BFF!!!111!!!
Tami opens the door on a slightly younger but definitely less hot woman with long, blonde hair. ["Jessalyn Gilsig, of Boston Public, Nip/Tuck, and Heroes fame." -- Joe R] Hotness differentials aside, these two must have tore it up in high school. They jump into one another's arms and screech and holler. Tami's sister steps back and tells Tami she looks good. Tami sort of curtsies and fidgets and tells her that, no, she looks like a cow and then asks, "Do you think my ass got wider, with this baby?" Her sister turns her around and pats her rear and then declares "Naw, you could bounce a quarter off that ass." The ladies walk into the kitchen, where Tami's sister goes straight to Grace. Tami's smile is as wide as her ass is not as she tells Eric what Shelly told her about her behind; Eric chuckles and says she could bounce all sorts of things off it. Heh. But Eric's colorful remark is uttered in "human," whereas Tami and Shelly and the elated Julie who enters the scene are speaking in "loose fan belt." Julie is so happy to see her Aunt Shelly. Aunt Shelly takes one look at Julie and declares that she must be driving the boys crazy, that she is "hott." Eric and Tami get tight-smiled at this remark, and their smiles only get tighter as Shelly proceeds to then declare that they need to use cloth diapers rather than disposable (Tami, muttering: "We don't have time for all the laundry") and then catches sight of Eric's paycheck and guffaws. "I can't believe I spent so much time being jealous of you, I make this much teaching preschool!" Tami mutters some more about the paycheck being a mistake, and then as Eric leaves tells him about fifty times that he needs to "get that taken care of."
The "Hog Wild" sale at Garrity motors. Eric approaches Buddy, who's working the crowd. Eric is ka-rank-key. Buddy doesn't register this and tells Eric to "check this out, I think I found our new center fullback." He crows into a bullhorn for everyone to give a hand to "Mr. Santiago Herrera." And this is the part I am not okay with. Santiago -- Lyla's Mexican Project -- hops into a makeshift ring and chases a pig around, to the great delight of all the white people looking on. It's completely abjecting. Do I need to say this again? Not okay with this particular leisure activity.
Cut inside to Buddy's office where Eric is demanding to know how after winning a state championship, his salary got reduced by 40%. Buddy nickel and dimes him -- "it's 37%" -- and then explains that the booster funds are depleted and insolvent after they had to pay MacGregor off. He smarmily promises to "do everything [he] can" for Eric, who just gets up and spits "Fix it. Fix it."
Credits. Locker room. The team files out to practice as Timmy saunters in, all smiles and warm greetings for everyone. He approaches his locker, opens it, and finds that it's been emptied. Out on the field, Tim approaches Eric, who tells him that he missed a week of practice. Tim asks if "that's it, then?" Eric stops and turns on a dime and tells the beautiful delinquent that they've been down this road before, too many times. Tim declares that he deserves another chance; Eric is short with him and tells him to get off his field. Meanwhile, we've been cutting to Smash's concerned face as the team captain leads the warm-up.
Tami's office. Tami is going over a list with Glen. She says that he's left her quite the list of things to take care of, and then wonders why Susie Miller is on the list, since she's a straight-A student. Glen informs her that there have been complaints about her hygiene, and that he can confirm these complaints because he's passed her in the hallway. Tami, her voice dripping in sugar, tells Glen that he is just so sweet to leave her with such a case. Cut to Eric threading his way through the crowded waiting room outside Tami's office. Glen stands up and introduces himself to Eric, whose response to Glen proves that Eric was definitely popular in high school. He looks at the nerdy Glen as if thinking, "So your kind do exist here in Dillon?" Eric asks Glen to leave so he can speak to Tami, and Tami and Glen go through a protracted farewell, Tami thanking Glen for his work, Glen inching backwards and mentioning meeting "in the lounge for lunch." When Glen's gone, Coach mutters to his wife, "Meet in the lounge? What're you doing meeting in the lounge?" Tami is elated that Coach is a little bit jealous. He just came by to tell her that he talked to Buddy, and then tells her that she really needs to get moving seeing the hordes of kids waiting to see her. Tami, the coquette, shrugs a shoulder and suggests her husband get Glen to come back to help her do some co-counseling. Eric is unamused.
In the hallway, Smash complains to Matt that Coach kicking Tim off the team just hangs him (Smash) out to dry. Matt thinks Coach has a point but before he can be too reasonable, a girl approaches him and introduces herself. Her name is Lauren and she's new to the school. Matt dorkily admits that he's seen her around, and he stutter-exposits in that singular Zach Gilford way that he knows she's a cheerleader. Lauren practically throws her panties at Matt when she tells him what an honor (gag) it is to cheer for him (retch), that he is just sooo talented (spew). The five guys hanging around Smash and Matt are all Beavis and Buttheading in the background and she walks off. Smash tells Matt that all his Julie problems are about to be over.
Coaches are watching game tape when Buddy interrupts by dragging Santiago behind him. Buddy declares that they owe it to the team to check the kid out. Cut outside to the field where a bunch of white men stand around evaluating Santiago's physical prowess. So distasteful. Santiago lifts weights, runs sprints, performs standing jumps. Buddy is all "hoo whee boy!" over it all; Coach is more cautious and wants to see what he can do with his hands. Which it turns out, is not much. Santiago can't catch a ball to save his life. He's got the raw power, but none of the skill that would have required teaching. Stand and Deliver, my friend! Coach tries to ask Santiago a few questions about how long he's been going to school at Dillon, but Buddy keeps answering for him, sort of muttering that Santiago was doing that "juvenile detainment thing for a while." Eric gets pissed and tells Buddy that he assumes Santiago can talk. Santiago looks so heartbreakingly confused when Eric asks him if he wants to play football. He answers "Sure?" before Eric gruffs "That wasn't an offer." Coach wants to see him "go long" and Buddy tells the kid to run. Only no one explained that "go long" means run and then turn and catch the ball, so the ball lobs through the air as Santiago just keeps running, running, running. Eric suggests that Buddy go stop the kid before he climbs the wall in front of him. Those are cheap jokes and they make me a little uncomfortable.
Landry is gazing at a picture of Tyra on his cell phone. Oh, lord, that is just precious, per-esh-is. Landry's dad comes in and tells him dinner is ready, but Landry says he isn't hungry. You know things are bad when you find out that he's refusing chicken fried steak. Landry tries to tell his father that nothing's wrong, but breaks down under his father's incredibly effective discipline-by-love gaze. Landry, tears in his eyes, tells his dad that Tyra dumped him. His father sighs and then tells his son that "girls can be squirrelly that way. Especially the cute ones." I want a t-shirt with a picture of a squirrel and the caption "Squirrelly" under it. You hear that, world? Landry's dad then follows up with a really sweet question: "She doesn't have you feeling badly about yourself does she?" That's the kind of question that really gives you insight into Landry's character, and also reminds you how very fucked his character has to be for the rest of his life over murdering someone. Landry's dad then says a really standard, unhelpful parental thing, that there will be other girls. Landry replies, "Not like this one."
At the Taylors' Shelley yells back to Julie to hurry up. Julie walks out modeling a truly scandalous scarf top. Like, literally, it is a scarf wrapped around her back and twist-tied in front of her boobs. Shelly loves it. Eric comes home at the exact wrong moment and is nearly speechless at his daughter's appearance. He wants to know what she's wearing and Shelley tells everyone that it's what "everyone in Brazil is wearing." Julie sort of echoes her words and Tami just tells her daughter to go change. Shelley tells Julie to sit down and write a thank-you note to her grandmother for her boobs. I should do the same, except in my case it would be less "thank you" and more "you owe me, lady." Tami tells Julie to go change again and Shelly turns on Tami: "Oh my god, YOU? Summer of 1986? In your string bikini and your butt hanging out your dolphin shorts?" Oh, so it was Tami Taylor that Don Henley was singing about? Heh. Don Henley. Is he in the Girls' Bike Club?
Eric offers Shelly a hundred dollars if she'll just shut up, and she tells him she'd gladly accept...if he had a hundred dollars to give her. Oooh, burn! She turns her attention back to Julie and asks if her niece is taking Spanish. When Julie says yes, Shelly tells her she'll need it when they go to Costa Rica. Yes, they'll speak so much Spanish because Costa Rica is not overrun with Americans at all. Julie gets wide-eyed and Shelley explains that she and Tami were supposed to go together before Tami got knocked up. A somewhat twisted approach, but I'd say effective in teen pregnancy deterrence, the "No Spring Break Woooo! For You" lesson. Shelley tells Tami that Grace is worth a thousand trips to Costa Rica, and Tami just fixes her with her eyes: "I know." Then Shelley says she has a consolation prize for Tami: The Dixie Chicks. Is it weird that I winced a little bit in fear when she said "consolation prize" and "The Dixie Chicks" in the same sentence? Because I sort of think The Dixie Chicks are so hardcore that they might bust through the door (naked, epithets scrawled all over their bodies) and kick Shelley's ass? Anyhow, Shelley wants to take Tami to see them on Wednesday night. Tami loves The Dixie Chicks, but as Eric reminds her by shouting from the other room, he's got a booster meeting on Wednesday night. Tami tells her sister there's no way she can go. Shelley wonders what the big deal is with going to a concert on Wednesday night. Tami is shaking the shit out of some salad in a colander as she tells her sister, in a more and more uptight manner, that there's no way she can go. Julie pipes up to say she'd like to go, and Tami tells her daughter to go change. Again. Which Julie ignores. Again. Julie and Shelley bend over a table looking at pictures from Shelley's latest adventure, Shelley murmuring about how the beach was deserted and you could see for miles while Tami continues taking her frustrations out on a pile of iceberg.
Rainy day. Jason opens his door to find Coach Taylor standing there. They makes some small talk before Eric asks Jason if he's still coaching. Jason says he doesn't know, and Eric asks him to come back to the team. Eric tells Jason that he needs someone he can trust, and Jason is, as always, the good soldier.
School hallway. Landry watches Tyra leaning against the cinder block wall laughing at a bunch of inane nonsense some boy is delivering. There's something about working out 24/7, about how he used to be skinny, but now he eats right. Tyra is just laughing and laughing. Landry is not.
Tim Riggins is lying on his couch, snoozing, beer in hand. I don't know why everyone is giving this kid such a hard time; he's just sort of fast-forwarding himself to age 72. Lyla knocks and then just walks in. She tells him to rise and shine, "it's 3:00 PM." Tim peels a textbook off his chest and asks Lyla if she knows anything about organic and biological compounds. Lyla prisses that she's not doing his homework for him and then says she's there about Santiago. Tim asks, ingenuously, if he's "that hogcatcher" and when Lyla reminds him that he's trying out for the football team, shows that he knows exactly who Santiago is by saying that he heard he's "crap." Lyla says that's exactly why she thought Tim might help Santiago out. Tim wonders why he'd help someone get on the football team when he just got kicked off. Lyla screws up that brow of hers and says sarcastically, "Well, gee? Why would any human help another?" Lyla is like the most sarcastic Christian ever. I sort of love it. She continues, fake hypothetically, "Why would someone drop everything and go to Mexico just because someone called and asked for help?" Tim thinks that was different because it was "life or death." Lyla is disgusted that he won't do this favor for him and walks out.
Buddy and some other guy who seems more officially connected with the school tells Eric they've come up with a "creative solution" to his paycheck trouble. This creative solution involves Eric taking on another job, Athletic Director. Buddy and this guy try to spin this, telling him that the title will look great on a resume but that it's a "gravy train paycheck." Eric is suspicious but tempted. He wonders how much the job pays, and the Other Guy tells him that this new position is budgeted as a part time; but combined with what he's making now, he'll be within spitting distance of his salary last year. This is a royal fuck-over. Taking on an extra job and still not even making as much as he was last year? Eric seems to realize what is going on when he asks incredulously, "spitting distance?" and Buddy swears to him that the situation is temporary. And now there's a paragraph about high school budgetary constraints. Way to attract the new audiences, FNL!
Now, back to the boobs. I hope folks didn't turn the channel during that Book TV boring scene! Tim and Billy sit in Tami's office waiting for her. Her breast pump is out on a side table, and Tim cannot for the life of him figure out what the contraption is. Billy explains, worldly man that he is. Well maybe "wordly" isn't the right word, given that he probably gained this knowledge while "supporting" a new mother's needs while her babydaddy was working the night shift. Tim is like, "What? Are you serious?" and grabs one of the cups to investigate. Billy tells his little brother that it "squeezes milk out of a lady's udders." Ladies and gentlemen, The Riggins Boys! Billy starts to demonstrate to his brother how it would work; Tim asks if there's a motor, and Billy starts reaching down to pull the motor part out to show Tim. Tami walks in and gracefully takes the breast pump from the boys and tells them that it isn't a toy. She sits down and for some reason her white button down shirt is quite unbuttoned, even though the breast pump was in her office. Glen?
Tami doesn't miss a beat as she buttons up her shirt and starts interrogating the boys. Billy apologizes to Tami for Tim's absence and tells her that he's been trying to get Tim to be more considerate. Tim interjects that that's a real nice piece of advice coming from someone who's banging his ex-girlfriend. Tami jumps in to tell them to focus and then gets tough, telling Timmy that on his "little sojourn" he missed a bunch of tests and a term paper. Tim tells her that he doesn't even know what "sojourn" means. Tami responds that a sojourn is what is going to keep him back a year if he doesn't get his act together. Billy tells Tami that he's going to be squeezing Timmy's testicles until he's bleeding term papers. You learn something new every day. I didn't know that was even possible! Billy then tells Tami that he really just needs to get Tim back on the team. Tami visibly shuts down and tells Billy that if he wants to talk football he can walk over to Eric's office and do just that. Billy gets up and tells Tim to follow; Tami calls after him "Wait a minute, I'm not finished!"
At the police station, an officer congratulates Landry's dad, "Like father like son, huh Chad?" Chad? Really? Landry's dad smiles, but says he doesn't want Landry to get a big head. I think this guy is taking the whole modesty thing a bit too far. A detective has been brought in from Midland to help with the murder case and he tells Landry's dad that the case was nearly dead until they found some car seat fibers on the victim. The fibers come from a GM car, made between '74 and '78. There's probably about twenty of those cars in Dillon alone. Chad keeps it cool but those one-in-twenty odds are not sitting well with him. Cut to Landry driving his Murder Mobile, just in case you forgot it was a GM car, apparently from the '70s. You know, in case you have simply erased the presence of this storyline from your memory at the end of each week's episode.
Football practice. Jason is doing his positive critique shtick ("stay high and inside!") and even he realizes that it's all getting pretty old. Treading water is especially tiring when you're in a wheelchair. After those first three or four heartbreaking episodes, Jason Street has really been a difficult character to manage. Practice continues, Smash getting smashed without anyone decent doing the blocking for him.
Coach is on the phone, exasperated about some equipment invoice problem. Wow, show, budgetary constraints and invoices in one episode? I feel I've died and woken up in Ben Stein's classroom. Smash walks in full of purpose to tell Coach that he's getting his ass handed to him without Riggins. Smash says that he needs Riggins and asks if proving the point is worth throwing the season away. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Eric interrupts him, pissed that he'd suggest any seasons are getting thrown away. He tells Smash that his blocking will get taken care and then shouts at the kid to go to class. Without any children, I have entirely too little shouting in my world. I mean, obviously it denotes stress and that's not good, but it seems like it'd be kind of awesome to be able to shout at someone the way Coach just shouted at Smash.
The Playgirl Ranch, Tim grabs a dirty mixing bowl out of the sink and grabs a box of cereal from the cupboard. Beautiful. Smash knocks and comes in. He jokes about the mess in the house and then invites Riggins to dinner at his house that night. Tim: "Are you asking me on a date, Williams?" Smash tells him to cram it and then says that he needs to talk to him about how Tim's drunk, selfish ass is ruining the team. Smash instructs Tim to show up at 7PM, "be on time for once." Yes! Smash! Where've you been! Also, where has this Smash/Riggins storyline been? Besides in my dreams?
Alamo Freeze. Julie comes in and tells Matt that she doesn't want to order anything, she just wants to say something to him. She tells him that he was right and she was wrong and that she wants to apologize for everything and is sorry that she hurt him. She hopes that he can forgive her and maybe they can be friends or something. Okay, that scene was so great on second viewing. On first viewing, it was touching and all that jazz, but on the second time around, I realized how perfectly vague and unspecific everything Julie says is. Teens! You break my heart!
Lyla's church. Lyla approaches the Reverend who creepily greets her by saying, "I'm proud of you Lyla." Like, just in general? Proud that she can wear such revealing clothes and yet still keep her parts for the Lord? Proud that she has perfected the brow furrow? Jason wheels in and finds her there. They chat, and Lyla says she's looking forward to his birthday party later that night. Jason snarks that his mom invited everyone he's ever said hello to in his life. Then he cuts the small talk and gets right to the Nietzsche. He wonders if she's noticed how nobody ever changes in Dillon, how they're all just stuck there, like they're in a big fish tank. He confesses to her that he's stuck, he's stuck. She pauses and then starts to say "Well, there's a way..." but Jason jumps in and says "No, no, no! I'm not here for saving." He continues, telling her that he's asking her because she's the only person he knows that's really changed her life, and that he admires her for it. He asks how she did it, and Lyla, head cocked to the side, replies, "You just do it." Wow, that was a really sweet scene. These two have such a believable relationship. They just seem honest with one another.
At the Williams' house, Smash lectures Tim that Coach just needs to see Tim take it up a notch. Tim says he's said his part to Coach and he doesn't know what else to do. Corinna (!!) asks Tim if he wants pie, and Tim plasters a big grin on his face and says yes he would very much like some pie. Smash tells Tim he doesn't like the way Tim's flirting with his momma, and Corinna quickly exclaims "Brian! What is wrong with you?" The Williams sisters tell their brother that Tim is just being polite. Tim secretly makes three more notches on his "Ladies I Have Charmed" scorecard. Smash decides to break it down for Tim. "We a lot different, you and me. Me? I'm the Smash, I'm primetime, 24/7. You? You're that broodin', rough, whatever. Look, point is, neither of us can be who we are without football. It's the keys to the ignition." HOT AND FRESH OUT THE KITCHEN, Smash just articulated the thesis of this television show. ["It's a better thesis than 'It's the freakin' weekend, baby I'm about to have me some fun.' ...I guess." -- Joe R]
Landry drives his Murder Mobile into the garage accompanied by a weirdly Friday the 13th instrumental. Last year, I would have shrugged it off as just a strange choice, but this year? I'm suffering from Post-Traumatic Plot Disorder and cower in fear that they might actually try to work a hockey mask in here. He gets out of the car; his father is lurking in the dark. Chad cuts right to the chase, telling his son that they aren't going inside. He narrates what they've put together about the murder -- that the guy was killed or injured at the convenience store and driven to the river. Landry plays dumb. His father continues, saying that the water and the fish did away with any foreign DNA that could point to the killers. Glenn Morshawer is bringing this scene. His voice rises slowly but perceptibly as he recites the increasingly desperate facts to his son. He declares as he moves toward the car that the coroner found fibers that come from GMC wagons just like this one. Landry stutters and backpedals until his father interrupts, "Landry, if you had something to do with this, you have got to tell me. Better tell me than wait for them to drag you in." Landry blinks and shakes his head while his father says that now is the time to trust him. Shaking his head and muttering, Landry confesses, "I didn't mean to do it, Dad, I didn't mean to, it just happened." As sure as he was before, his father is stunned. "Oh god, oh god" as he embraces his son. But Chad is no wallower, so the embrace is fleeting. He tells Landry to get in the car and follow him. Landry obeys. Jesus. This is not going to turn out well.
Most depressing party ever (spoiler!). It's Jason's birthday party, and they are all sitting in front of the television watching game tapes of Jason playing football before his injury. I mean, what the fuck, right? In the background, Julie sulks in Matt's general direction while Matt flirts with Lauren. Coach catches a glimpse of the TV and says, "Here it is," while we see a lithe #6 -- Jason -- run the ball through a pocket and into the endzone. Jason's father exclaims, "Watch his wheels here." YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. Buddy then decides now would be a good time to say, "Coulda been a dynasty, kid, then Lyla'd be rich." WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? Lyla exclaims "Dad!" but Jason says it's okay, that Buddy's right. He platitudes, "You can have it all, but not at the same time. Take the memories where you can, right Riggs?" And now, we've once again entered Lars Von Trier land, where cruel town elders point and laugh at a young man's paralyzed legs while the young man makes veiled references to the Mexican threesome he just had with a drunk and a nun last weekend. Tim raises his glass to Jason and everyone follows suit.
Lauren and Matt sit in her car outside the party while Lauren goes on and on about the pains in her heart that she felt when she broke up with her old boyfriend. Matt looks seriously bored. And her voice does have a buzzing chainsaw quality to it. But then he remembers that he's a seventeen year old boy and starts to participate in the conversation. They cute around each other trying to figure out what the best word is to describe the pain she felt in her heart. Was it inflicted by a knife? No, she says, a shiv. "A shiv?" Matt inquires, and then suggests "a shank?" She likes "shank," and Matt just grabs her and kisses her. She pulls away and Matt immediately starts apologizing before she leans in and makes the make-out official.
Meanwhile, Julie is leaving the party and calls after Tyra, asking her for a ride. Oh, right, these two are friends. Tyra and Landry have been spending so much time hanging out at school discussing the murder they committed, there wasn't much time to flesh out this relationship. Tyra wonders how Julie is holding up after seeing Matt flirt with that girl. Julie says it isn't any of her business, but just then catches sight of them making out in the car. Tyra grabs Julie's hand and directs her away from the scene of the make out and then makes perhaps the most mind-boggling suggestion ever: "What do you say you and I get a vat of ice cream, rent Thelma and Louise and cry our eyes out." Hmm, now what other tortuous plot development got its start with Tyra wanting to a) watch a sappy classic while b) gorging on junk food?
Jason catches Coach Taylor before he leaves. He hands Eric a box of his tapes, a donation to the team. Eric asks if this means Jason is quitting the team, and Jason says yes. He explains that he needs to find a new way to be, and that he thought the team would help him do that, but it hasn't. He apologizes for letting Eric down (tears) and then tells his mentor that this is just something he needs to do. Eric looks at Jason intently and tells him that coaches and players learn from each other, that it goes both ways. He pauses and then reduces me to a blubbering mess by telling Jason, "You lift up everyone around you," and then, "I hope I didn't let you down." Wow. Wow wow wow. Eric tells Jason that he'll hold onto the tapes until Jason comes and picks them up. Which, if you'll allow me for a minute, is exactly the most beautiful thing he could do for Jason. He's not all "fly free little bird!" and he's not all "well, now, wait a minute, let's think this through." He gives the teen just enough freedom mixed with just enough responsibility to the community he is a part of. Sigh. Also, please note the continuity of this scene with one from the show's second episode, when Coach Taylor goes to visit Street in the hospital, and the boy apologizes for letting him down. Tears! Retrospective tears!
Landry follows his father out into the desert, cryin' and drivin'. They end up in some weird mined-out valley that is strewn with junk and Landry's father sets the car on fire while saying "Dear God forgive us." So, either this storyline is going to continue when the police find this new evidence, or it is, however improbably, over.
The less said about this scene the better. Turns out Coach's "gravy train" Athletic Director position is less "gravy train" and more "beset by crazy Title IX bitches." The girls' soccer coach comes marching into Coach's office demanding new soccer balls to replace the deflated one she has in her hand. She observes, rightly, that the football team probably doesn't have any trouble with getting the equipment they need.
At the Taylors', Shelley comes home to find Tami alone, folding laundry. Shelley has come bearing wine but Tami tells her she can't have any because she's nursing. HOLD ON JUST A DADGUM MINUTE HERE. You can't drink a glass of wine when nursing? Since when? Shelley has lots of suggestions for Tami, telling her to just drink a lot of wine, eat foods with B9, and then wait a few hours before nursing. Tami is tired of her sister's been there/done that Mountain Dew attitude, muttering that it's funny how Shelley knows so much without ever having had a baby. Shelley fires back, "Just a little thing called reading. You do it much?" Oh, below the belt, lady. She wonders, when Tami says she reads when she has time, if what she reads is "the Dillon Gazette and those baby books." Tami wants to know what her point is, and Shelley tells her sister that just because she lives in Dillon doesn't mean she has to stop thinking. Tami says she hadn't realized she'd stopped thinking. Now it's on. Tami ramps up real quick, telling her sister that she doesn't need a lecture, that she doesn't have time because "you know what? I'm cookin', I'm workin', and I'm breastfeeding." God, I don't have time and all I'm doing is sitting on the couch. Shelley comes and sits to her sister when she sees she's pushed the post-partum lady over the edge. Tami continues riding the rollercoaster, she's over the anger hump and now in the weepy loop-de-loop: "And it may have just occurred to me that now I have sixteen plus more years of child rearing and then she's just gonna turn into Julie and be mean to me. And I'm gonna be in a walker." The sisters apologize, and Tami takes a much needed sip of wine. Shelley says she's sorry she said anything and that she's probably just "compensating for my lonely and pathetic life." To which Tami responds that her life is pretty lonely and pathetic. Shelley chuckles and calls her sister an ass; Tami replies with the same and they both say, "I hate you." Now that's some family values!
Football field. Tim Riggins is hanging out, having a beer, and watching Santiago do everything wrong. Specifically keeping his head up while hitting, which as we've seen does not turn out well. Tim asks Santiago if he is "in any way, shape, or form trying to screw Lyla Garrity?" Santiago answers that Lyla is just his friend, and Tim decides to give him some pointers. Tim talks a lot about "purpose" and Santiago takes it to heart. Smash and Matt walk by and offer to run through some plays with him. It's a regular old violent male bonding ritual when Coach comes upon the kids playing around. He looks on with approval until moving along, calling out some pointers to Santiago to keep his legs moving. Santiago is shocked that Coach is deigning to speak to him and even more shocked when Eric invites him to come to practice tomorrow. Tim calls after Coach, asking if he's showing him something yet. Coach says, "Oh, yeah," but then tells Tim that he's not even close to back on the team again. We end on a long shot of the boys having fun under the lights, an enormous jet plane flying through the air just beyond. Can't you just Photoshop that shit out?