Tests And Breasts

S01E04

Okay, so Mr. Kowchevski, the nasty math teacher, comes into his classroom barking out typical high school teacher stuff like, "Okay people, simmer down." I cannot believe how much this guy is like so many math teachers I had, right down to the short-sleeved shirts and ties that get tucked into the belts. Who else dresses this way, except for Canadian Tire store managers? He reminds the class about the test they are having the day. Daniel asks him, "Didn't we take a test last week?" Kowchevski says, "Your point?" Daniel says, "Well, I don't think you taught us enough in the past week to give us another test." The teacher babbles that learning math is like riding a bus. Okay, don't ask me to explain it. Daniel protests that he doesn't ride the bus. Kowchevski threatens that Daniel will be riding the bus with him again year if he fails another test. The sadistic-prick-math-teacher takes entirely too much pleasure from the thought of Daniel failing. Okay, I admit it, I have issues with math teachers which explains why I have a degree in English, I guess. ["Mine was named Mr. Sanderson. I think that he and Mr. Kowchevski were separated at birth." -- Wing Chun]

In the cafeteria line, a handful of varsity-jacketed jocks are yukking it up. One of them says, "He looks up at her and says, 'how do you think I rang the doorbell?'" The jocks laugh. Sam, Neal, and Bill overhear them, but they don't get the joke. I'm not going to belabour this, but I can't believe that they didn't get it. My esteemed partner, Mick, says that he probably would have gotten that joke in grade six, and for sure would have gotten it in grade nine, or rather, ninth grade, which is what grade they're supposed to be in. It's supposed to be 1980 after all, not 1950. It's a stupid joke, but not too hard to figure out. Okay, that pun was not intentional. Much. Anyway, Neal says that jocks don't know how to tell jokes and Bill says, "I don't really like jokes. I don't think they're funny." People, this guy deserves an Emmy nomination just for the posture he's sporting in this scene. Sam ponders the joke a bit more, then heads for a table. On the way there, he runs into Cindy who is looking very fetching in her coordinating striped pink turtleneck, and salmon coloured pants. They chat about the upcoming MD Carnival. Do kids still put those on? I went to on once, and I suspect that the kids who put it on kept all the proceeds for themselves. Cindy tells Sam that she'll be running the ice cream booth. A boy from the sex ed class comes up to Sam and says, "Dr. Love, I can't find my girlfriend's cervix, can you help me out?" Cindy wonders what that was all about and Sam says, "Oh, that's an inside joke." I am somewhat ashamed to say that line made me snort like a pig. Sam, not at all smoovely, tries to change the subject by volunteering to help Cindy out at the ice cream booth. Cindy tells him that he won't need to help out, but that he should remember to stop by the booth, then she walks over to a jock to ask him if he is coming to carnival. Alan, who is sitting nearby says, "Dr. Love, will you autograph my genitals?" Unfortunately, Sam doesn't respond, "Yeah, I will. With my foot."