Previously on Felicity: Elena was ecstatic after the lovin', but Tracy was speechless; Ben couldn't believe that James pulled a gun on Molly; James came to the apartment to win Molly back; Molly tried to break up with James but couldn't, while Ben looked on helplessly.
The episode begins at the girls' apartment; Ben is atop a ladder while Felicity gives him directions, like "a little to the left," from below. Molly wanders in and compliments "the flyers," and asks what is meant by "cocktail attire." Felicity explains that it means "dressy, but not so dressy." Hmm, that certainly clarifies the matter. Molly whines that she wishes she felt like celebrating. Felicity whines right back, "C'mon, it's Christmas." Molly bemoans the fact that she made an idiot of herself over James; however, Felicity exposits that they've broken up and that Molly is back in rehab. Molly isn't really convinced, so Felicity enumerates a couple of other reasons to celebrate -- namely that Sean is better and that they all survived finals. Ben is back up on the ladder and Felicity hands him a length of silver fuzzy garland. Molly asks when they're leaving for Florida. Felicity says that they're going on Monday, if Sean can get them a car. Ben chimes in that Sean will get them a car. Felicity adds that if her mother stays an extra day, then they'll leave a day later. Molly whimpers that she's always wanted to go to Florida, ever since she saw Miami Vice. Felicity giggles and Ben laughs that Florida is not like Miami Vice. It sounds like Molly is angling for an invitation to tag along with them, but she never comes out and asks them. Instead, she stares intently at the kitchen countertop and remarks that she can see her reflection in it. Whatever you say, Molly Downey Jr. By the way, stick with the rehab if you can still see yourself in arborite in a day or two. Felicity admits that she's been cleaning up because her mother is coming. The phone rings and Felicity picks it up, then mouths to Molly that it's James. Molly shakes her head, and Felicity tells him that she's not there. James accuses her of lying, so Ben grabs the phone and repeats that Molly isn't there, and suggests that he stop calling. After a pause, Ben tells James that he's not going to argue with him, and then goes on to do just that. Ben tells Felicity and Molly that James is crazy. Gee, Ben, you think? You mean it doesn't pay to argue with a crackhead? Well, I'll be. Felicity tells Ben to hang up, which is what I've been saying since Felicity answered the phone. Hang up now and continue hanging up whenever he calls. Use *69 to find out where he's calling from and block the number(s). What is so hard about that? Ben perseveres and tells James to calm down, then he gets angry and slams the phone down. Ben rants, "The guy's not only a crackhead, or an addict or a dealer, he's a dick, a total dick." Felicity tries to shush Ben because her mother is walking down the hall. Ben won't be silenced and he boasts that if James didn't have a gun, it would have been a totally different conversation. When Mrs. Porter reaches the kitchen, Felicity acts surprised and greets her warmly by asking if she has just arrived. Meghan, who is following behind Mrs. Porter, says, "No, we came in somewhere between 'crackhead' and 'had a gun.'" Felicity hugs her mother and introduces Molly and points to Ben, saying, "You know Ben." Mrs. Porter looks at him and says, "Uh huh." I know the woman has recently divorced and everything, but what's with the unstyled, loosely-permed long hair? Not only are there decades between when that look was fashionable and now, it really does behoove fortysomething women to stop trying to get away with shoulder-length hair.
Felicity is working at Dean & Deluca when Knoll comes in with a poinsettia and puts it down on the counter, then picks it up again. He tells Felicity that Icebox "loves [them]." However, he's still miserable despite the good news because it's the holidays and "everyone has a girlfriend or boyfriend, even [his] wife." Felicity asks, "Aren't you supposed to be getting an annulment?" They sit down together at a table, while Knoll is still holding the poinsettia, and he tells her that he called Gnatalie in Germany, where "Ludwig" answered the phone. Knoll says they talked for half an hour, and that he's actually a nice guy. True to form, Knoll mispronounces Ludwig "LUD-wig" instead of "LUDE-vig." It seems to me, that if we're to believe that Knoll got all worldly over the summer, he'd at least have a clue how to pronounce non-anglo names. Anyway, he asks Felicity what is going on with her, and she mentions that her mother is in town and seems to not like Ben. Knoll doesn't seem too concerned, but at least he doesn't gloat about her mother not liking her boyfriend. Felicity invites him to the Christmas party that they're having at her apartment. Knoll drones, "Oh good, I'll bring Ludwig." By this time, Felicity has walked away and Knoll is actually addressing the poinsettia. The plant promptly drops all of its leaves and expires from boredom. Oh wait, that was me.
Now we get a close-up of three tickets sitting haphazardly on top of a book in Ben's room. He's writing something when Sean and Richard burst in to inveigle him into helping them with their latest money-making scheme, which is to buy Christmas trees cheap and sell them for a profit a few days before Christmas. Ben protests that he has plans to go a play with Felicity and her mother and can't help them load up their truck. Sean wonders if Ben still wants to borrow his uncle's car for the road trip to Florida. Ben asks, "Are you extorting the car?" Sean whines that he has all of his money tied up and he'll "lose everything" if he can't go get the trees. Ben mutters that he only has three hours; Sean raves that he'll be done in plenty of time, and calls Ben "his little elf." Ben warns, "I'm not your little elf. And don't touch me," as he follows them out the door.
In Elena's room, Tracy is having a crisis of conscience regarding losing his virginity. His actual words are that he's "mourning the whole situation." While I can support anyone who wants to remain a virgin until marriage, the fact is, he is no longer a virgin. He just needs to accept it and move on. Elena asks if he hates her and he says he doesn't. After she whines about him acting weird all week, he informs her that he has been accepted to "Crossroads Africa" to help "set up clinics and educate people about HIV." Elena is impressed, and congratulates him because "that's all medical schools look for." She's not so excited when she discovers that he'll be leaving in three weeks. He applied when they broke up: "It kinda affects the equation of what's going to happen to us."
Sean, Richard, and Ben arrive at a tree lot and discover that there are millions of trees to pick up. Ben suggests that they come back the day, but Tree Guy tells them that he's expecting another shipment and he "need[s] all these twigs outta here." Ben complains that he has to go.
Felicity and her mother are waiting for Ben in a very swanky theatre lobby. Felicity wonders if she should call Ben, and her mother says that he still has a few minutes. Mrs. Porter is wearing a sparkly red twin set and is thankgodfully wearing her mop in a somewhat sophisticated up-do. She tells Felicity that when they get home, they're going to check into a hotel and spa. Felicity asks her if she received her letter in which she said that she was planning to spend the holidays with Ben in Florida. Mrs. Porter didn't get it and says she thought they were flying back together. Wuh? Felicity sent her mother a letter to outline her travel plans? If she couldn't tell her mother over the phone, then why wouldn't she send an email? And, wouldn't her mother have expected Felicity to ask for the return flight number if she thought they'd be flying together? The whole thing is dumb and contrived. And television dramedies are never dumb and contrived.
At the apartment, Molly is standing on the kitchen counter, fussing with Christmas lights and garland that is strung up. I bet she can't see herself in the countertop now that she's been tromping all over it. The phone rings and she answers it; it's James calling from a pay phone. She says that she doesn't want to talk to him, but he maintains that she does because he's "got Caller ID" and he's seen her number on it. Is the guy still living in a hotel? Do most hotel phones have Caller ID? I don't think so. My cellphone has Caller ID but I don't think James even has one or else why would he be calling from a pay phone? This plot twist doesn't really ring true, so to speak. Molly explains that she's in rehab and getting clean and she can't see him anymore, while "Silent Night" plays in the background. Well, she might be clean, but she's not very calm or bright. Why is she even talking to the guy? Hang up, already! James begs her to meet him and she says she's going to hang up and he warns, "Don't hang up on me!" She hesitates, then she puts the phone down and stares at it.
At the tree lot, Sean thanks Tree Dude for loaning them a truck to transport all the trees. Sean and Richard are in one truck, and Ben is in the other. Ben's truck, which was last seen being driven by John-Boy on The Waltons, won't start. That may have to do with the fact that it was manufactured before the last Ice Age, but I'm no car expert.
Ben rushes into the swanky theatre lobby and apologizes profusely to Felicity and her mother for being late. They rush to take their seats when Felicity asks him if he has the tickets. Of course, he doesn't have them. More profuse apologies. Felicity suggests that they just go to the restaurant. Her mother says that she has a headache and just wants to go back to her hotel. Felicity suggests that they go with her and order room service. Ben says that they should have some "quality time, alone," and that he won't join them. Mrs. Porter invites him to come along and he declines. After more apologies, the Porters leave and Felicity's mother says, "We'll see you tomorrow, I'm sure." Ben sighs and sits down on the lobby steps as they leave.
In the taxi, Mrs. Porter interrogates Felicity about Ben getting in fights. Felicity thinks she's referring to the incident with Ben breaking Sean's nose and she tries to play it off as an accident, but then has to admit that there were two fights. Mrs. Porter changes the subject to school and asks how Felicity is doing. Felicity says that things are okay. When her mother asks what Ben's major is, she admits that he doesn't have one yet. Mrs. Porter pries a bit more, and Felicity says that she thinks her mother's getting the wrong impression of Ben. Her mother tells her to give her the "right" impression of Ben, and Felicity simply says that she loves him. Mrs. Porter smiles a very tight-lipped smile.
Felicity walks into the loft to find that it's filled with fir trees. Ben asks whether her mother is really angry, and Felicity says she's okay. Felicity mentions that her mother ran into one of his friends and found out about a fight. Ben explains that it was Casey that they ran into. When and where were Ben and Mrs. Porter hangin' and shootin' the breeze? Obviously, the writers didn't have to look too far to get inspiration for Molly's crack addiction. Anyway, Felicity simpers that her mother is going to be alone for her first Christmas apart from her father, and that Felicity's considering not going to Florida. Her mother is using her "maiden" name -- a term that I hate -- and Felicity is troubled by the fact that her mother is now "Ms. Hunter." I would be troubled, too. Around twenty years ago it was a big deal to be able to use Ms. Now, it sounds stupid. Personally, I don't think anyone should use any of the honorifics. I use my first name and my surname, which incidentally is not the same as my husband's surname. Why bother with anything else? Ben takes the news very calmly.
At the girls' apartment, Knoll has his laptop open and is boring Ms. Hunter with a demo of Stupid Cartoon Premise. Was he evicted from the loft? Did the electricity over there get cut off? How much does Knoll want to be a girl, living in the girly apartment? He raves about Felicity's contributions to the project, and her mother, who has her hair neatly pulled back except for a few strands on one side, exclaims that she's happy that Felicity is working with him. Felicity arrives and remembers that she's supposed to be working on SCP with Knoll. Ms. Hunter insists that Felicity work with Knoll while she goes on her "annual pilgrimage to Bergdorf's." Felicity confirms with her mother that they're meeting for dinner later. Her mother invites Knoll along, and he doesn't get the hint from Felicity's less-than-enthusiastic invitation that he's not wanted, so he agrees to go.
Meghan enters the loft and is stunned by the abundance of trees, though she shouldn't be because "O Tannebaum" is playing in the background. After she calls a few times, Sean pops out of the forest to tell her about his scheme. Meghan claims to have come up with the idea months ago but Sean says he thought of it first. Thus begins this week's Rotundi/Blumberg bout. Meghan wants a cut of the profits but Sean refuses. They argue and I pray for a commercial.
Ben and Molly walk off the elevator at the apartment building. She thanks him for walking her home after an Al-Anon meeting. As she's unlocking the door, James, who had been sitting in a nearby stairwell, comes over to confront her. Doesn't that building have a concierge? Every university residence building I lived in had a concierge and a locked entrance door so that non-residents couldn't just come in without getting clearance. James harps on the fact that Molly called him. She says she made a mistake and doesn't want to talk to him now. Ben tells Molly just to go in the apartment and James tells him to stay out of it. Ben insists he won't stay out of it; James sort of lunges towards him, but ends up only stamping his foot. Ben doesn't flinch or react at all, which causes James to grin maniacally before leaving. He looks seriously creepy. Molly and Ben go into the apartment.
Felicity, her mother, and Knoll are already seated in a restaurant when Ben arrives. Felicity asks what happened and Ben says that he had to walk Molly home. Ms. Hunter thinks it was nice of Ben to do that. Ben mentions that he's surprised to see Knoll there. Ms. Hunter gushes about SCP and asks Ben if he's seen it. Instead of telling Felicity's mother to get a grown-up hairdo -- she has just a little front section of it pulled back and the rest of it is hanging limply -- Ben agrees that the animation project is great. Felicity asks if Molly is okay, and Ben says he thinks she is. Knoll chimes in, "Hey, how's rehab goin'?" Ben glances around nervously and says, "It's goin' good." Ms. Hunter asks if Molly is in rehab and Felicity says that she is, but that she's doing much better now that she's not dating James. For some insane reason, Ben recounts his latest run-in with James, but hastens to add that everything is okay. Knoll laughs, "Which means he wasn't armed this time." Hey Knoll, since "O Little Town of Bethlehem" is tinkling in the background, why don't you make like one of those "silent stars"? Felicity's mother asks, "Oh, this is the young man with the gun?" Ben responds, "Yes, but there was no gun," and glares at Knoll. She says, "That's nice," and leaves the table. Felicity follows her and Knoll says, "Did I just blow it somehow?"
Sometime between Knoll's faux pas and Felicity's and her mother's entrance into the restroom, the background music morphed into another version of "O Tannenbaum." This one sounds like the Vince Guaraldi Trio's melancholy version from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Ms. Hunter complains about finding out about Molly's addiction and guns. Felicity says that Ben is trying to protect them, and her mother says, "He's a college student, not a police officer!" Then she launches into a tirade about Ben getting into fights and consorting with drug users and gunmen. Felicity protests that Ms. Hunter doesn't know Ben, but her mother thinks Ben is just like Paul Conrad, a "bad boy" her parents didn't want her to date in high school. The upshot is that Paul Conrad broke her heart and she doesn't want the same thing to happen to Felicity. When Felicity asks her whom it is that she wants her to date, her mother suggests Knoll. Felicity can't believe her ears but Ms. Hunter insists that Knoll still loves her and that he is the turtle in the SCP, and Felicity is the parrot. Felicity is incredulous and she announces that she's going back to have dinner with her friend Knoll and her boyfriend Ben and concludes, "I'll see you at the table."
Ben and Felicity walk into the Loft o' Trees, and argue about her mother's behaviour at dinner. He's annoyed that Knoll, "Mr. Graphic Genius," rambled on about his bright future until Ms. Hunter asked Ben about his career plans. Ben thinks that her mother "set him up" to say that he had no plans. Felicity stings Ben: "Why are you so angry? Is it because my mom made you admit that you have no plans or is it because you have no plans?" He just gives her a hurt look. Whoa, that's low. Poor, misguided Ben. If he thinks that Knoll is a graphics genius, then he really doesn't have a clue.
Molly is at the apartment, watching the phone ring. Finally, she picks it up and it's James calling from a phone booth again. He tells her that he loves her and she says she doesn't want to talk to him. He warns her not to hang up on him and she warns him not to threaten her. With that, she hangs up. The scene ends with James in the phone booth looking like a mad dog.
At Epstein Bar, Sean and Meghan are sitting in a booth. He gives her a gift and says that he knows it's early. She opens it and it's a leather whip -- a cat o' nine tails, to be exact. She seems pleased and fondles the whip. Sean says that he considered giving her "a leather bra and panties." Meghan thinks the whip is better because "leather panties don't breathe." In the spirit of the season, I'll refrain from commenting on that little bit of TMI. She thanks him for the gift and asks if he's ever been to Radio City Music Hall at Christmas. He says he hasn't, but that he can't go that night because he and Richard will be selling the trees. The fight is back on and she orders him to leave. He says she can't tell him to leave the restaurant, so she says she'll go and he'll have to pay the bill. He gets up to go and she snipes "what a shock" because she's left with the bill. After he storms out, she gets out her cell phone and calls the fire department to report a fire hazard.
At the apartment, Felicity and Knoll are working on the Stupid Cartoon Premise. She asks him if he thinks that he mother was too hard on Ben at dinner. He says that he thinks she was and that it made him uncomfortable, which is why he talked so much. He asks her if he did talk too much, and Felicity confirms that he did. He asks if her mother hates him, too. She says that her mom loves him. He says, "Yeah, moms love me. It's the curse of the Cranes." Knoll worries that the turtle in SCP looks weird. Felicity says it looks fine. He states that the turtle is "such a loser." She disagrees but he repeats his assessment. You're right on the money this time, Knoll.
Elena and Tracy go to see his minister, who has a sign on her desk that says, "Pastor Cathy is IN!" All that's missing is the part about her advice costing five cents. Hey Elena, try letting Tracy kick the football the time. Pastor Cathy blah-blahs about sin and taking responsibility. Elena says she doesn't think she's sinned. Pastor Cathy states, "Pre-marital sex is lust, not love." Elena says, "With all deference to the church, the bible won't tell you what's in my heart." Pastor Cathy opines that maybe it should, and that they have to define what they want separately and what they want together. ["Doctrine aside, it's a good point." -- Wing Chun]
The Loft o' Trees is being deforested due to Meghan's call. Sean arrives home and wonders what is going on. Richard thinks that one of the neighbours "ratted [them] out." Sean tries to bribe the Fire Marshal, who ignores him, and tells him to get rid of the trees to avoid getting a fine. Sean wants Ben to help them move the trees and Ben tries to get out of it. Sean plays the "you don't always pay the rent on time" card, which pretty much trumps Ben's excuse and he agrees to help. Felicity arrives and asks if Ben is all right. He says he isn't. She asks him about the party and he says he probably won't make it because of the trees. He brings up that fact that he was hurt by her comment about him having no plans, and they argue. He suggests that maybe she should spend the holidays with her mother. She protests mutely, and he goes back to moving trees.
Tracy comes over to the apartment to tell Elena that he's going to go to Africa because he's confused about their relationship.
Ben has invited Felicity's mother to talk to him at Dean & Deluca, over coffee. He starts out by thanking her for coming and fumbles around a bit before saying that he's not good at small talk. The soundtrack features a guitar plinking out strains of "We Three Kings." This is the part where Ben gets to be one of the wise men and explain that while he doesn't have his future mapped out, he knows that Felicity has faith in him, and he's going to follow her wandering star. Or something like that. He concludes with a statement about never having talked so much at one time before. Ms. Hunter stares him with her pale face, enormous red lips, and limp, unstyled hair. Instead of shopping at Bergdorf's, I wish she'd go get her hair done.
Felicity is in her room getting out her clothes for the party. Her mother announces that she's going to spend the holidays with a friend in Santa Fe. Felicity whines that she'll be on her own for Christmas because she and Ben had an argument. Her mother thinks they'll work things out, and admits that it was wrong to compare Ben to Paul Conrad. She recalls Felicity's first week of college and sees that Felicity is now much more grown up. They both smile and hug.
At the tree lot, Richard and Sean try to flog the trees. Felicity comes to see Ben, but he's gone to get coffee for them. Sean thanks her for letting Ben work for him instead of attending her party, and admits that sales are terrible. She tells him to let Ben know that she came by. She starts to walk off, then stops to watch Sean try to make a sale to a man and his son. The man thinks the tree is too expensive and the boy is disappointed. Sean is moved to give them the tree for free, which makes Felicity smile.
Felicity returns to the party and tells Meghan that Sean needs to be cheered up. Felicity and Knoll spot each other and exchange compliments regarding their respective attire. Felicity does look cute in her sparkly silver halter-type top. Tracy arrives and compliments Elena on her outfit by howling.
Back at the tree lot, Sean has morphed into the reformed Ebeneezer Scrooge and is gleefully giving away trees when Meghan comes by. They make up, and she invites him to the party.
Knoll thinks that being at the party on his own is not so bad, because he has the opportunity to check out all the women there. He and Felicity chitchat, and then she asks him if he is the turtle in the SCP. He says that he is and then he stammers that "the parrot is obviously...Ruby." Felicity tries to play it off, but obviously, they both know he's lying. She escapes by saying that she wants something to drink and he stares after her. I can't believe that he really isn't over her. What about his infatuations with Ruby, Gnatalie, and Jane? Ben arrives, looking quite smart in his party clothes. He apologizes to Felicity for everything he said, and they hug while Knoll watches them. Knoll spots Molly and asks her to dance. Sean comes in with a Christmas tree, with which Richard promptly starts dancing, while the normal people all dance with each other, albeit in slow motion. That would be James's cue to come in and throw cold water all over the festivities. As everyone dances, he stalks down the hallway, also in slow motion, drawing and pointing his gun. No one notices him and the scene ends with a close-up of his tortured face and a gunshot ringing in the background. Fade to black and a super which says, "to be continued April 2000..."
This episode -- which was touted as the "Winter finale," even though it aired before the winter season officially even began -- ends with what seems to be a giant cliffhanger. Who'll get shot? Will anyone die? How will their lives be changed? Personally, I'm not certain that anyone will get hurt, except maybe for James. I can imagine that he turns the gun on himself, or perhaps that someone wrestles with him and he ends up shooting himself in the struggle. We have four months to speculate. In the meantime, you can fill your Wednesday nights with The West Wing, or just hang out here at MBTV catching up on all the other fine recaps we have to offer. See you all in April.