Previously on Felicity: Felicity feels that she's to blame for Julie's disappearance; Molly and Meghan take Felicity to a frat party; Felicity wakes up in a frat boy's bed.
At the loft, Knoll is helping Ben find Felicity's favourite rib place in Laredo, Texas, so that he can order some ribs for her online. Sean appears on the stairs leading to his bedroom, and he asks if he can talk to them about something.
Felicity, who is wearing a paper gown, is in one of the health clinic's examination rooms. Sitting on the table, she's blathering on about not being the kind of person who usually sleeps around or has unprotected sex. She admits to not knowing whether she even had sex the night before.
Back at the loft, Sean, who is dressed in his bathrobe, is downstairs asking Knoll and Ben if either of them has ever had "like an achiness, y'know, like down under?" as he motions to his nether regions. Ben wisecracks, "You mean like in Australia?" which causes he and Knoll to giggle. Sean says he has a dull ache in his testicle, while clutching the affected area. Ben asks him not to use the word, 'testicle'. Oh, grow up, Ben. For as much as you and every other man who has them handles them, you should be able to say the word. Ben says the word is "uch," and Knoll likens it to "whenever a girl says labia -- y'know, it should be neutral, but it's not." Listen dudes, if you are uncomfortable using the correct terminology, you shouldn't be sexually active. Ditto for discussions of contraceptives. If you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it. Just call me Dr. Maggie Westheimer. Anyway, I seriously doubt that many women discuss their labia around Knoll. Just how often has this been a problem for him? Sean gets testy and says, "Great. Y'know what? You guys are the ones with the problem. It's called hatred of your genitalia." With that, Sean slams out of the room. One of the Two Stooges says, "Ah, geez. Man."
Back at the health clinic, the ever-so-helpful health-care practitioner is handing Felicity a small cup with two blue pills in it. She drones, "This is a high dosage of the same steroid found in birth control pills. They inhibit or delay ovulation, which will prevent you from getting pregnant. Of course, they'll do nothing to protect you against STDs. Oh, and need I say it, this is not to be your usual form of birth control. Emergency contraception means emergency." Felicity mumbles, "I know about the morning-after pill." I guess she does; she was part of the sit-in last year to pressure the health centre to supply it to students. The nurse/doctor continues, "So take two now and another two in twelve hours." She pauses to look at Felicity's chart, and she snipes, "Oh, tomorrow's your birthday -- have a happy one," before sweeping out the room. Ah, the caring medical profession. Wouldn't you think that if a young woman came into a college health centre with a story about not remembering if she had sex with a stranger because she blacked out at a frat party, the nurse/doctor might have suggested giving her a blood test to find out if there was any Rohypnol in her blood? I think that might be as much of an issue as cautioning her about having unprotected sex. I also think that reminding her to not overindulge might be worthy of a mention, as well as a lecture about the dangers of attending frat parties without relying on the buddy system. I guess that's why I only play a doctor in these recaps and not on TV.
Still back at the loft, Knoll has discovered the web site for "Ramblin' Dan's Rowdiest Ribs." Ben is all set to place his order when Knoll gets paged for his first tech-support call. As he's rushing to get out the door, he tells Ben that all he has to do is enter his credit card information, and his order will be placed. Knoll leaves the room and Sean "Balzac" Blumberg comes out of the bathroom. Sean walks over to Ben, who is sitting on the sofa, and thrusts his pelvis into Ben's face. Sean opens his robe and says, "Hey, y'know, I really think it's swollen. I really do. Can you just check it?" Ben flinches and says, "What?!? No way, no way, no way! No." Sean pleads, "Please, just feel my nut." Ben stammers, "Just go to a doctor that feels nuts!" Hey, sometimes you feel like feeling a nut, sometimes you don't. Knoll pipes up, "Yeah, like a neurologist." Ben concurs, "Yeah, go to one of them." Sean says okay and shuffles away. Okay, a couple of things here. "Just go to a doctor that feels nuts," reminds me of the punch line of an old grade-school joke: "He said, 'Show her yer nuts,' so I went 'Booga, booga, booga' [mimes crazy arm-waving and eye-rolling]." Secondly, according to my esteemed partner, Mick, no normal twenty-something man would ever ask a male friend to frisk his nerts in a non-sexual way. He says it is: Just. Not. Done. Furthermore, he says that he would "blanche to the power of a thousand" if one of his friends ever asked him to do such a favour. I did a little research with some experts in the field -- okay, it was my fellow MBTV writers -- and they pretty much agreed that this is another way the Felicity writers are illustrating Sean's extreme oddness. I guess he and Meghan really are meant for each other.
After the opening credits, Theodore Geisel spins in his grave during the trailer for the Jim Carrey abomination, The Grinch. I really see no need for live-action versions of cartoons, especially one as superb as How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I hope the ghost of Boris Karloff haunts Jim Carrey for the rest of his days. Victoria's Secret satin collection is specially priced for the holidays. What holidays? November 1 is All Saints Day -- is that what they're talking about? They can't mean the Christmas holidays, can they? That's not for another month and twenty-four days, fergodsack. Oh, the I-zone Pocket Camera and sticky film from Polaroid. Can I just say that I bought one not too long ago, and it is a piece of crap, and I've never been able to get it to work? I'd just return it, but I bought in Chicago. Polaroid sucks. There are cheap-ass boots and shoes at Payless. I've pretty much never had a bad experience at Payless. Did you know they have some funky handbags there, and they're really cheap? Okay, here's the stupid Wendy's commercial with the sitar music. Why do they only show that one and the NASCAR one in this time slot? Man, you'd think I'd realize by now that there's no such thing as a good Wendy's commercial, so I should just quit hoping for one.
Docuventary clip: Felicity is sitting at a table in Dean & Deluca, holding a coffee cup and wistfully talking about how she used envision celebrating her twentieth birthday. She thought that she and her friends would go to a really "fancy restaurant in San Francisco," where they'd order escargot and drink cocktails.
Ben and Felicity are in her bed, and he wakes her up by kissing her repeatedly all over her bare arms, shoulders, and neck, as he wishes her a happy birthday. Felicity gives him the brush-off by telling him that she has to go to "epistemology." Ben tells her to skip it because "it's got a really stupid name." Ben, you know I love you, but you're a little on the dumb side and a little epistemology wouldn't hurt you. Felicity whispers that she can't skip because she has a test. They grapple a bit and then she gets out of bed. He gets a parcel wrapped in newspaper from his side of the bed and gives it to her as she packs books into her bag. She starts to say that he shouldn't have gotten her a gift, and he kisses her several times. Eventually, he runs out of the room and she picks up the phone and goes out to make a call. She calls Randy at the I Felta Thi frat house but he isn't there. She mentions that she called yesterday, and she leaves another message for him to call her back.
At the loft, we get a close-up of the fan in the wall whirring away above Sean's bed. He's already awake when Meghan wakes up and wants to initiate a little action. Sean begins to respond, but then he says that he's got a lot on his mind and that he's getting pressure from the network. He makes up an excuse about the camera breaking, and he runs off down the stairs.
Now Sean is in a doctor's examining room, and the white-coated male doctor is slapping on some rubber gloves. Sean is fully dressed, and the doctor asks him to "drop trou." Why is Sean is still wearing his clothes? Whenever I have to go to the doctor, the nurse comes in and asks why I'm there, and if any nudity is required for the examination, I have to change into a gown before the doctor comes it to see me. Felicity was wearing a gown at the health clinic. You'd think that pretty much every visit to a urologist would necessitate getting nekkid at some point. I don't understand why Sean is spared the indignity of wearing a gown. Anyway, the doc gives Sean's normal testicle a feel, and Sean thinks it "tickles a little bit." When the doctor grabs the other one, Sean winces in pain. I kept expecting that he'd have to turn his head and cough, but it was over fairly quickly. The doctor prescribes a course of antibiotics since he believes that Sean may have an infection in his left testicle. Sean is heartened and says he'll go to the pharmacy right away. The doctor says, "however," then pauses, and I smell a "but" here. Heh, I guess I know kind of what it's like to be a urologist. It's possible that it may be more than just an infection, and the doctor wants to do an ultrasound "to rule things out." Sean freaks and says that an ultrasound is "a waste of time," because it's only an infection.
Felicity is in Dr. Toni Pavone's office, and the good doctor is blabbing about getting Dr. Morton to give Felicity a spot in some exhibition, or something like that. Then Dr. Pavone starts in about the big dry-cleaning bills that go along with smoking. She notices that Felicity doesn't really give a damn, and she asks her what's wrong. Felicity tells her about getting drunk and waking up with a stranger. Toni says, "I'm guessing that you understand how completely moronic - - " Felicity interrupts her and says that she knows. Toni then asks if perhaps Felicity was slipped a roofie. Felicity exclaims that she hadn't even thought of that. Hey, that's what I thought last week! Good call, Dr. T. Felicity concedes it could have happened, and says she's trying to find out what happened when she blacked out. She wonders how she's going to tell Ben. Toni doesn't think that Felicity should tell Ben anything until she knows what happened, but she should abstain from sex. Here's where I have to disagree. I think Felicity should tell him. She should've told him from the start. Dr. Pavone thinks that Felicity only wants to tell Ben so that she won't have to shoulder all of the guilt. I think honesty is the best policy, especially when practically everyone else in your social circle, except for your boyfriend, knows what happened. According to Dr. Pavone, "Honesty is not the most important thing in a relationship. The most important thing is to be kind. Honesty, in some cases -- like this one -- is unkind." Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. Felicity sits there looking stunned.
At Epstein Bar, Ben is excitedly telling Felicity that if you view "the history of the world as one hour," human beings have only been around for seven seconds. Felicity says, "I'm so glad you're likin' that class." Ben asks if she wants a refill, and he goes up to get one. Felicity notices a bunch of guys walking in, one of whom is Randy. He sees her and comes over to talk to her. He says that he didn't lose the game to see her topless, and she tells him that she can't remember much. He tries to jog her memory with tales of "dancing in Marcus' room," but the fog doesn't lift for Felicity. She spies Ben making his way back to the table, and she asks Randy to drop the subject. When Ben arrives, she introduces him to Randy as her boyfriend, and then she drops the drink that Ben has just handed her. Randy just stares as they fumble around with the glass, and Felicity says that she knows Randy from epistemology, which produces an even more clueless look on his face. Randy probably thinks that it's a pre-med course. Ben asks how he did on the test that morning. Randy stammers, "It was okay." Randy says he has to get back to his table, and he and Ben both say, "Nice to meet you." After Randy walks away, Felicity tries to regain her composure.
Knoll arrives at the door of his first tech-support customer, and the guy -- who looks like Albert from Little House on the Prairie complete with a bad haircut straight out of the 1800s -- says, "Please tell me you're here to save me from computer hell." Okay, drama queen, much? Knoll sits down at a desk with a tangerine iBook on it and says, "So, you're a composer?" Albert says, "Supposedly, until this thing decided to eat my entire chamber piece, which - hello -- does anybody write chamber music anymore?" Hello, Albert? No one cares about the answer to that question. Albert then busies himself with clearing away books and clothes while Knoll drones, "Well, don't worry, there's no such thing as a truly deleted file, unless you, y'know, reformatted your drive." Albert claims that if Knoll can fix it, he's some kind of a miracle worker, and he picks up his violin and starts to play it. Knoll thinks that Albert and his iBook have picked up a virus. Albert continues to tunelessly torture his instrument while eyeing Knoll intently. He asks Knoll if he used to have blonde streaks in his hair. Knoll mumbles something about trying it out, and Albert gushes that Knoll looks better without them. Knoll discovers that the virus is from spam that the entire college received. He opens the message to find a photo of Felicity and Randy. They're both topless and laughing, and her arm and his ping-pong paddle are strategically covering her breasts. Above the photo is, "WHO KNOWS HOW TO PARTY!!" and below is, "GO, BETA, THETA XI!!!" Albert is disgusted to see such a display on his computer and disses the "stupid fraternity." Knoll catches flies with his wide-open mouth.
Here's the Visa Checkcard commercial with the guy who can only afford to get "I Love Don" tattooed on his arm. Yes, people who get totally unimaginative tattoos should always have ready cash. I fully believe that if there is a hell, Adam Sandler will be there, regardless of his participation in Little Nicky. Mandy Moore shills for the Neutrogena Acne Patch. Toddlers frolic operatically for Huggies diapers. Omigod, there's an ad for the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas on video and DVD. Oh, the irony.
In a school corridor, Richard is handing out flyers for free pizza and a town-hall meeting on Friday. Elena and Molly are reading their flyers, and Molly thinks it's a good idea. When Richard overhears her, he introduces himself. Molly explains that she's Elena's new housemate. The ever-tactful Richard replies, "Ooh, you're the redcoat that drove Julie away." Elena barks, "Richard!" to which he responds, "Hey, all I'm saying is she's here, Julie's gone." Molly says that she has to run to her "American rhetoric class." That comment flies directly over Richard's head, and he runs after Elena and declares, "Now that is a woman." Elena says, "As if you would know." Richard says, "Buxom, fashionably attired, passionate about politics. Can you make it happen?" Elena asks what he means, and he states that he wants to date Molly. It seems fairly improbable, given his love affair with Knoll and his general distaste for females. Elena must be thinking what I'm thinking because she says no.
At her apartment, Felicity is on the phone pleading to speak with Randy. She leaves another desperate message. She concludes the call and flops down on her bed.
Sean returns to the loft to discover Ben trying to make a cake. Ben asks how it went at the doctor's, and Sean tells him about the infection and the prescription. Ben thinks "that sucks," and Sean changes the subject to doing a "man on the street, like vox populi," segment in the Docuventary. Ben repeats vox populi, and Sean asks if he knows what that means. Ben admits that he doesn't, and he tells Sean that Meghan came by earlier to talk. It seems that she thinks Sean's fooling around on her because he doesn't want to have sex. Ben asks if he's going to inform Meghan of what's going on. Sean says he isn't because it's embarrassing and "the last thing a girl wants to hear is that a guy has got problems with his package. Trust me." No, trust me, Sean, a girlfriend would want to know. And remember what I said earlier about not being able to talk about certain things? That applies here, too. He leaves, and Ben goes back to his cake batter.
We get to see the Felicititties photo again as the titular character yells, "Omigod!" She screeches, "How can they do that? Is that legal to do that?" Knoll says, "Apparently. Fraternities do this kind of stuff all the time. You really don't remember anything that happened?" She whines about having to tell Ben, and Knoll offers to delete it from his e-mail. Felicity starts simpering about having to tell Ben until Knoll convinces her not to do it tonight because Ben has something planned for her birthday. Felicity doesn't think she can hold off telling him, but Knoll pleads with her to reconsider.
At the loft, the gang is making punch and balloon animals and doing other party preparations. Sean has his camera going, and he gets Molly to wish Felicity a happy birthday. She babbles something about Felicity being proof that not all Scorpios are vengeful. Over at the kitchen counter, Meghan corners Ben with tales of her having crabs when she was dating a performance artist. Ben grabs his head and says that he doesn't "need those details." He tries to convince her that Sean is not cheating on her, but she's dubious. Ben takes the cake out of the oven, and it is charred, so he dumps it in the garbage. The bell rings, and Ben thinks it is the ribs, but it is Javier, who has come with loads of food because he has a "sixth sense for cooking disasters." There's a knock at the door, and it's Knoll, who is carrying a case of Samuel Adams beer. There's another knock, which causes Ben to do a little dance because it has to be the ribs this time. It is, and the delivery guy gets him to sign for a small package. Ben asks if there's not another box for him on the truck, and the delivery guy assures him that there is not. Ben rips open the box to find a cookbook and no ribs. Knoll says that it isn't his fault, and Ben says that he has to go and takes off. Javier swings into action and states, "This is called a thirty-minute miracle meal. What I need is a list of ingredients that is available for me to use, okay? And please, clear off all this clutter. Too much knick-knacky stuff, okay? And president Coad, put on some music. Nothing like classic rock, no BTO."
Ben meets Felicity out on the street. She tells him that she hasn't opened his present because she is saving it. She wants to talk to him, but he interrupts her and says they have to go back to the loft because he forgot his wallet.
At the loft, Sean shouts, "Okay folks, we are at T minus ten minutes." Javier and Knoll are arguing about canned tomatoes while Molly and Richard discuss Dr. Who. Sean turns the camera on Meghan and asks her what she wants to say to Felicity for her birthday. Meghan doesn't want to say anything and asks him to turn off the camera. He says he's working, and he walks away.
Back on the street, Felicity tells Ben that they don't have to go out. They're at the front door of the building, and he says it'll only take a minute for him to get his wallet, and he rings the bell before they go up.
When they hear the bell, the gang runs around and hides and shuts off the lights. Felicity and Ben come in, and she says that she needs to tell him something. He says, "Sure, what is it?" Then he turns on the lights, which prompts everyone to shout, "Surprise!" They all start clapping and cheering, then kissing and hugging Felicity. Richard turns on the music, and he and Sean start doing their spastic dances. Felicity is handed a drink and a plate of food. The frivolity continues, and Meghan goes to sit down on the sofa beside Sean, who is busy eating. She asks, "Do you have crabs?" He replies that he has pasta. Meghan clarifies that she's asking if he has an STD and if that is why he won't have sex. Sean denies having crabs and claims that a guy can just not be in the mood, then he gets up and walks away. Ben and Felicity take seats while Molly and Richard have a tedious disagreement about Dr. Who trivia. Richard is at a laptop, planning to e-mail a friend to settle their argument. Knoll notices what's going on and asks if it's the best time to check e-mail. Richard won't be dissuaded and, of course, Ben just happens by as Richard is opening the spam that contains the photo of Felicity. Everyone looks at it and freaks. Javier says, "Oh, that isn't real, is it?" Hey, if Richard had put on some BTO, hearing the lines, "Buh-buh-baby, you ain't seen nothing yet. Here's somethin', here's somethin' you ain't gonna forget," would be really funny right now. Felicity jumps up and tries to talk to Ben. She asks him to talk in private, and they leave the room. Ben recognizes Randy in the picture as Felicity explains that she had a lot to drink. Ben wonders whether Randy gave her the drinks, and Felicity stammers that she can't remember what happened. Ben storms out. Felicity returns to the party, where everyone is silent and just staring at her. Javier says, "I can't handle this. I think we all need to take a moment and have some tiramisu." Oh, chocolate, coffee, and marscapone -- is there nothing you can't do? Felicity looks distraught.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck are in Bounce. I know for sure what I won't be doing on November 17th. AOL version 6.0. Why in hell does anyone still use it? People, you can live without all the dorky smileys. Save your money! A super-cute baby is in an ad for the Fisher-Price Sparkling Symphony Gym. This toy plays little snippets of classical music. What, they couldn't make something that plays Hooked on Phonics tapes? A not-as-cute baby is in another Fisher-Price commercial. This time it's for the Twirling Whirling Garden. What is up with the toy and diaper commercials? I can't imagine parents of young babies choosing to spend what little free time they have watching this show. Grosse Pointe moves to Sunday! Ted Casablanca is on the episode! Hey, that's kind of cool. He doesn't care for Ms. Paltrow any more than I do, plus I've spent many an hour over at Fametracker trying to figure out to whom Ted is referring in his blind items. Now here's a McDonald's commercial in which they refer to the restaurant as "Mickey D's." For the love of all that is holy, please don't refer to that place as Mickey D's. I really hate that. An ad for Dryel, or as we call it in my household, Dr. Yell. You can use it to clean your boyfriend's stinky sweater so that when you look at black-and-white photos of him in your penthouse, your memories aren't sullied. Whatever. Heart's Barracuda is recycled for a Nissan Pathfinder commercial. Bleah.
Ben bursts into I Felta Thi headquarters and runs up to the Frattie Bubelattie who always wears the hattie, and demands to know where Randy is. When the frat dudes find out that Ben is Felicity's boyfriend, they tell him that she slept with Randy. Ben looks gobsmacked when they tell him that she "wasn't acting like she had any other commitments."
Richard and Molly are walking along the street, and Richard is venting his disgust for Felicity. Molly accuses Richard of being a puritan, and she suggests that she play Hester Prynne as she moves in for a clinch. Molly, using literary references on Richard is a bit dicey. I don't think he really gets it except for the "moving in for the clinch" part. Richard reminds her that he is student body president and he can't get caught up in any sex scandals. Molly suggests that they can be discreet, but Richard cries that she doesn't know anything about him, like where he's from, what his middle name is, or what his mother does for a living. The hell? What does it matter what his mother does? And who expects the student body president to not be sexually active? The University of New York isn't a seminary, is it? Molly asks if his middle name is Christopher and it is. Richard then gets totally paranoid and demands to know who tipped her off. He whispers, "My enemies are everywhere," and skulks away. Hmm, Richard Coad, that name could be shortened to Dick Coad. Does that mean that he has some sort of "dick code" that he has to live by? Personally, I just think he's a freak.
At the loft, Meghan is reading Tarot cards while Sean eats the leftover tiramisu. He finally tells her about his problems below the equator since he saw how keeping a secret affected Ben and Felicity. He says, "I don't think we should have secrets between us," and Meghan deadpans, "Yeah, that'd be interesting." After he tells her about the antibiotics, she asks what else the doctor said. Sean denies that the doctor said anything else, then he mumbles about the ultrasound. Meghan holds up the Emperor card which, when it is upside down, apparently means "weak character" and someone "who doesn't want to face facts." Sean tries to discount the cards and says his problem isn't serious. He yells, "I'm on antibiotics!" She shouts back, "Are they helping?" Sean flatly refuses to get the ultrasound. Meghan asks if he'll get one if she requests that he does. Sean won't budge, so Meghan gets angry and leaves. I don't know many men who seek medical care without turning it into a huge ordeal. I totally feel for Meghan.
Knoll enters Epstein Bar and spots Ben sitting at the bar. He orders, "Scotch please, straight up," and admits that he's never ordered that before. Knoll, I thought you'd partied at places that were too much for Meghan to handle? What were you drinking, Zima? Knoll proceeds to sit down and badger Ben about Felicity. His opening line is, "Regardless of whether we like to admit it, you and I have actually become friends." When Ben doesn't reply, Knoll says, "I'll take that silence as a confirmation." Knoll continues, "As your friend, I, uh, I don't want to see you make the same mistake that I did." Ben says, "You mean you think you know something about me and Felicity because you dated her two years ago?" Knoll guesses that he and Ben have both had "dumb drunken nights" where they did something they'd never do when they were sober. Ben doesn't really appreciate the implication and states that there's more to this than Knoll knows. Knoll concludes his speech with, "If you push her away because of this, you're going to regret it later, and that I know for sure." He finishes his drink and leaves. Ben goes back to his drink.
Now Ben is on Felicity's doorstep, proposing that they talk about what happened. Ben tells her that he went to the frat house. Felicity starts whimpering that she's sorry and she knows that she should have told him the truth, but she was so drunk she couldn't remember what happened. Ben doesn't take that news too well, but he says that she should have told him that she blacked out instead of lying to him that Randy was in one of her classes. She repeats that she doesn't know what happened, and he tells her that he found out that she and Randy had sex. Ben leaves and she stands there looking like she's about to be ill.
Oh, the Charlie's Angels movie. Remember what I said earlier about making live-action movies of old cartoons? Well, that goes double for making old TV shows into movies, especially when the old shows are crappy to begin with. I'm not interested in seeing Lispy Potato Face (™ Wing Chun), Shrimp Days (™ Gwen) or the alliteratively named chick from Ally McBeal in an action movie. Salon Selectives is touting some product which gives you that "oh so 1998" parted-down-the-middle straight-hair look. Career women find new Philips televisions so much cuter than Lab puppies. That's because they step on puppies on their desperate journeys to the top of the corporate ladder. Omigod, JC Penney is having yet another sale. They have one every week, but this is the biggest sale of all! Whoo! Taco Bell is still pushing Sharona chalupas. Alyssa Milano wants you to save a buck or two with 1-800-COLLECT. Now the WB shows promos for Charmed and Gilmore Girls. Whoa, see what they did there?
Felicity goes to the frat house and confronts Randy. First she has to endure some snotty comments from one of his brothers. Randy tells her that nothing happened between them because she was a "train wreck," but the other frat brats thought something happened, and he let them believe it so they would think he was a "wicked stud." Instead of kicking his ass into week for not telling the truth, Felicity just stands there.
Meghan is getting some cereal at the girls' apartment when Sean comes barging in. Meghan comments that they have to start locking the door. No kidding -- that's what I've been saying for weeks. Sean asks her to go with him when he goes for the ultrasound. She says she can't because she's getting a new tattoo. He begins to protest until she informs him that she was just kidding.
Docuventary clip: Knoll is getting a hotdog from a street vendor, and he's telling Sean about the "unusual side of student life" that he gets to see now that he's doing tech support. Sean asks him about the music major, whose real name is Jason. Knoll talks about Jason's room being the "zone of disturbing imagery" because that's where he first saw the spam with Felicity's photo, and because the last time he was there he saw something else.
Knoll is in Jason's room again, seated at the desk with the tangerine iBook. The room is dark except for about a thousand burning candles. Knoll mentions that it is illegal to burn candles in dorm rooms because he can't help but slip back into his nerdy advisor ways. Jason blows out all of the candles then he makes his move on Knoll by asking him to go to a Bach festival concert. Knoll asks if Jason has a crush on him. Jason says that he does, and Knoll replies that he is flattered but he's also straight. Jason says not to worry about it, and he tells Knoll that his computer is fine. Knoll says that he already figured that out. As he's leaving, he sees a photo of Jason and Richard, shirtless, with their arms around each other's shoulders, and he's taken aback.
Cut to a shot of the ultrasound monitor. The urologist is pointing to a "darker area" which is an "intertesticular mass." The doctor says, "At this point, I recommend a surgical procedure to determine if the mass is a carcinoma." He suggests that if Sean wants to get a second opinion, he should do it immediately, because if it is malignant, it needs to come out as soon as possible. Sean asks the doctor to send in Meghan, who is in the waiting room. What's the point of asking someone to accompany you to a doctor's appointment if you don't have her in the examining room with you? Sean sits up on the table. Again, he's not wearing a gown, and he's just got a sheet covering him from the waist down. Meghan comes in and sits beside him on the table. She silently takes his hand and they sit together.
At Epstein Bar, Knoll and Richard are sharing a booth. Knoll is scrutinizing Richard until Richard asks what is wrong with him. Richard wonders if he has a hair out of place. Um, yeah, ALL of them. Knoll denies that he's staring at Richard, and he asks how it went with Molly. Richard says, "That chick kinda freaks me out. She was trying to work some kind of voodoo thing on me. Wasn't happening." Richard claims that, although she's "one hot babe," he's not into the "ultra-aggressive thing." Um, yeah, YOU are. Knoll says that he understands, and he continues to eye Richard.
At Dean & Deluca, Javier makes Ben and Felicity go into the back room to hash out their problems. He gets emotional and says, "You two have such a rare and special love, and I can't stand to watch you just blow it in the weeend." Then he leaves to call Samuel. Ben suggests that Felicity go out the back way to get past Javier. Felicity wants to talk for just a second. She tells him that Randy told her that nothing happened, and she's found out from the clinic that all of the tests came back negative. Ben is more upset about the fact that she lied to him. He walks out of the storeroom.
Felicity returns to her bedroom, and she opens Ben's gift. It's a box of paints. She gets weepy and stares out the window. I guess she really painted herself into a corner this time.