Previously on Felicity, Professor Sherman catches Felicity and Knoll snogging during Thanksgiving celebrations. Some other scenes were likely recalled but due to a taping mishap, that's the only one I caught.
This episode begins in Sherman Tank's classroom with a close-up on a drawing of a nude couple embracing. A female figure has short hair not unlike Felicity's. A male figure looks like Knoll, but with his first-season hair. Sherman asks for the class's opinion on the drawing. Felicity volunteers that the perspective might be off but she can't quite put her finger on what is wrong with the drawing. Sherman agrees that something is wrong and says, "Could it be the fact that you're a manipulator and a liar?" Felicity indignantly says, "What?" Sherman adds, "Not to mention a bit of a slut." The rest of the class makes Springer audience noises while Felicity looks sick. She gets up to leave and is stopped by a guy who tells her that she didn't deserve that. She calls him Bruce and he grabs her and kisses her. She asks, "What are you doing?" and when she has pushed him away, he turns into Knoll. Felicity stammers that she didn't mean to push him away, but she was confused. Knoll tells her that she is still in love with him. An alarm sounds to tell us and Felicity that this was all just a bad dream. Let me tell you, if Knoll starred in one of my dreams, that nightmare would leave me begging for LSD to wash my brain clean.
Felicity launches into one of her "Dear Sally" tapes and tells her that the dreams started Thanksgiving night. She tells Sally that remembrances of Knoll's kiss were stirring up feelings she had been trying to avoid, and that when she saw him the first time after the Thanksgiving break, she could "barely even look at him." Felicity, welcome to my world.
Felicity and Knoll are now sitting beside each other in Sherman Tank's class and Knoll says that he's recovering from his "200 proof hangover." Then he jabbers about what a stupid, drunken mistake it was for them to kiss and that he feels guilty about it. Felicity agrees with her mouth but the rest of her body doesn't. She worries aloud that Sherman is going to hold their indiscretion against them. Knoll thinks that she is too professional to do so. Sherman walks toward them and gives them the stink-eye, which leaves Felicity and Knoll to conclude that they are "dead." Roll the credits.
There's a commercial for Shopper's Drug Mart's house brand version of Tums which disses grandma's pot roast. That commercial really bugs me.
Felicity is back in her room dreamily telling Sally her obsession with Knoll and how it is screwing up her life.
In Sherman's classroom they are receiving their final assignment which is to do two self-portraits, and also they have to work with a partner to do each other's portrait. When one of my friends was getting her BFA, she had to take a life drawing course in which the final assignment was a nude self-portrait, which was on display at an art department open house. So, while Knoll and Felicity think it is a really tough assignment, I don't feel so bad for them. They decide to work with each other, of course. At the end of the class, Felicity and Knoll approach Sherman to tell her that they're going to be partners, and to apologize for what happened at Thanksgiving. Knoll interjects that it was Sherman's punch that made him do it. Sherman glares at him and he runs away with his tail between his legs. Felicity rolls out the I-really-admire-you gambit but Sherman isn't interested in hearing it.
The scene opens with a close up of the book cover for Ever Since Adam and Eve: The Evolution of Human Sexuality , by Malcolm Potts and Roger Short. It turns out that Julie is reading it while Sean is on the phone enthusing about his samples to someone. He gets off the phone and tells Julie -- who is wearing a shirt with the number 55 on it, which must be her IQ -- that someone who was force-fed Smoothaise at the Thanksgiving party wants to distribute it to some restaurant chains. Julie can't believe it and neither can I. She hugs him and tells him that she'll buy him a drink at Epstein Bar that night. She's playing and he absolutely has to come because she's "sent out like a million flyers, and there might be music people there." Ben storms in and stomps to his room and slams the door. Julie and Sean look at each other then Ben comes out and announces that he has an American Lit paper due in forty-eight hours and he hasn't started it yet, which is why he is going to go slam his door again. At this point, I had to scream out, "Amateur!" Poor baby has what, a twenty-page paper due in two days and he's freaking? Give me a break. Back in the dark ages, in the early- to mid-80s, I had an electronic typewriter with limited word processing functions, and I routinely churned out papers in about ten or twelve hours. But whatever. ["I would make a crack here about Ben's IQ, but I'm afraid of what Wing Chun would do to me for dissing her boyfriend." -- Kim] ["Smart, considering that now I know where you live." -- Wing Chun]
Back in Felicity's room, she is STILL moaning on to Sally about the dreams, which she thought would stop in time. One of her dreams is shown, in which she is drawing a shadowy male figure, and there are gauzy curtains everywhere. Knoll says that she still loves him, Eli/Simon Rex states that he had her first, David claims that he made her a good lover, and Ben says that he is her soulmate. Way to define yourself by the men you've been involved with, Felicity. Then, Lucky appears and speaks French. He tells her that he is a metaphor for her sexual ambivalence and confusion. This dream sequence is beginning to really tick me off. Fortunately, Felicity snaps out of it. Unfortunately, she finds herself seated across from Knoll while they sketch each other. Felicity tells Knoll that she is dreading doing her self-portrait because she'll have to examine herself so closely which is "yuck." Knoll disagrees and says that he wouldn't use the word "yuck" to describe her face. Felicity asks about Ruby and Knoll tells her that Ruby will be back in a few weeks. He adds that Ruby is not impressed with the "whole Hollywood scene." Knoll admits that he misses Ruby. They continue sketching and exchanging meaningful glances. Felicity's narration tells us that she wasn't sure about the signals she was getting from Knoll, while we see a sketch of him, which emphasizes his colossally big lips and a hairdo that he isn't currently sporting. It's a sort of portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man-with-huge-lips-and-nostrils. She goes on to say that during one of their drawing sessions they took a TV break and ended up falling asleep together on the sofa, with his arm around her.
Turns out that she is recounting the story to Elena. She tells her that nothing really happened when they woke up and that Knoll didn't mention it. Felicity doesn't want to ruin her chances with Knoll this time. Poor Elena still doesn't have a storyline so she has to endure Felicity's questions about whether Ruby and Knoll are serious. Elena encourages her to set the record straight with Knoll.
Felicity walks purposefully down the street on her way to Knoll's place to profess her feelings. When Ruby answers the door, Felicity looks stunned as Ruby explains that they rearranged her shooting schedule so that she could come back for her "Econ final." Felicity follows Ruby into the apartment looking like she had just been offered some Limburger cheese.
Now Felicity and Knoll are alone in his apartment, still working on their portraits. When they take a break Felicity gets up and sticks her nose into a shopping bag. She pulls out a Palm IIIe box and asks Knoll which teacher he's "trying to butter up." Is this an American thing? Do people actually give gifts to their professors? I'm choosing to believe that this is actually just a dumb comment that Felicity has made because she's a ditz. ["To answer your questions: No, not that I've heard; and right on." -- Kim] Knoll jumps up and explains to her that it is one of the gifts he bought for Ruby. He also bought a sweater and a bracelet and he is unsure which gift he should give her. Knoll asks Felicity which gift he should give to Ruby. Felicity chooses this moment to tell Knoll that she wants to "go out" with him again. Knoll responds that he is "reeling, physically reeling" and that Felicity has bad timing. He then launches into a story about a stunt guy that he saw on the news when he was a kid. I think he's just mistaking the guy for Fonzie and his jump over the garbage cans in Arnold's parking lot, but he has his memories and I have mine. Anyway, he rambles about Fonzie not making the jump and not wanting to try it again because he really missed the first time. Somehow, Knoll means to relate this little tale to his and Felicity's relationship. She seems to understand what he is getting and I've lost interest at this point. She tells him that he said the perfect thing and she thanks him for his honesty. They resume drawing and Felicity tells him to give Ruby the bracelet because it is what she (Felicity) would want.
Okay, I'm ready for that LSD now, to erase Julie's performance at Epstein Bar from my cerebral cortex. I have no words to accurately describe the breathy warbling that passes for Amy Jo Johnson's "singing." It is horrible and tuneless. Thanks to the miracle of closed captioning, I can transcribe the words of the song without having to really listen to it. They are:
I know better now
Better be this time
Give me love
Give me life
I've been travelling for so long
Overdrive, hundred miles
I deserve a little bit of this life
A little smile
I deserve a little bit of you
Yeah.
She actually whispers the last word, which is the patented folkie-waif way of ending every song. Sean is the only one of the gang who shows up at Julie's gig, but, he would enjoy listening to her croak the phone book, so what does he know. However, I did notice that he had a huge glass of beer in his hand to anesthetize himself, so maybe he isn't so dumb. A guy, who looks a lot like a 90s Gabe Kaplan, introduces himself after Julie has finished her song. He is Eric "Mr. Kot-tare" Kidd, the head of A&R at Pop Rocks records. Gee Eric, I hope that's not a Coke that you're drinking; that can be dangerous. He asks her if she's made any recordings. No Eric, that would be Jewel that you're thinking of. Anyway, Julie/Jewelie tells him that she made a cheesy tape of herself, which features a dog barking in the background. I'm sure many dogs were attracted to her singing, but that's another story. Eric, who hasn't stopped grinning throughout their exchange, assures her that he is serious about wanting her tape. He offers to buy her a drink, which she declines. Sean joins them to congratulate Jewelie and she introduces him to Eric. Eric gives her his card and leaves. Jewelie is impressed but Sean looks skeptical. Of course.["I would like to add that no one, ever, has gotten a record deal while playing open-mike nights at a college bar as their sole gigs, even if it is a small or non-existent record label. I think the writers owe musicians everywhere an apology for making it look so easy to get signed. Because it's not." -- Kim]
Felicity barges into a science lab where Elena is working on an experiment with her new lab partner, Gwen. Nice shout out to MBTV's Gwen. TV-Gwen looks like Winona Ryder, and she is one girl interrupted by Felicity's revelation to Elena that Knoll "is the greatest." Poor TV-Gwen has even less of a storyline than Elena, though it is established that she is a "slow talker." Felicity reports how it went when she told Knoll how she felt him. She really respected his decision, which only makes her want him more. Huh? I am so not interested in this story line.
Over at Epstein Bar, Knoll and Ruby are sitting at a table. Knoll gives Ruby the gift-wrapped Palm Pilot. She loves it and says so several times, but Knoll keeps telling her that he can exchange it. Ruby convinces him that she likes it and wants to keep it. However, she hands it back to him and tells him to "hook it up."
At the loft, Sean is making a sandwich when Julie arrives home. He compliments her on her looks and she tells him that she has just been to see Eric to drop off her tape. Sean starts in on his barely disguised jealousy routine when Julie tells him that Eric ordered in pizza to share with her in his office. Julie explains to Sean about a "demo deal" that Eric wants to set up for her. All Sean wants to know is if she has signed anything yet because he has a bad feeling about Eric. He goes on to say that he thought that Eric was more interested in hitting on Julie than he was in her music. Project much, Sean? Julie is outraged and she brings up the fact that she was happy for him and his "stupid Smoothaise investor." They continue to argue until Ben comes out of his room to say that he is "staring at a blank computer screen, panicked, trying to write a paper on a topic I don't understand. So please, shut up." Amateur! Julie waltzes her tight-panted butt right out of there and Sean calls after her, "Julie, please."
So, now we get a close up of a drawing of Felicity while Johnny Nash's I Can See Clearly Now plays in the background. We're back at Knoll and Elena's apartment and Knoll and Felicity are STILL working on their drawings. Felicity wonders if her earlier declaration has made Knoll uncomfortable. Knoll assures her that it didn't. Felicity asks him if he gave Ruby the bracelet. Excuse me, but what business is it of yours, Felicity? Knoll tells her that he gave Ruby the Palm Pilot. Felicity is surprised and wonders how Ruby took it. Knoll tells her that Ruby seemed to like it, to which Felicity says, "good." Whatever, Felicity Nosey Parker. Knoll rips a sheet off his sketchpad because he has made Felicity "look like a really cute tomato," which is a nice shout out to Sars. Felicity replies that she thinks that she finally got Knoll's eyes right. Well, that's good because you nailed his lips and Knollstrils. Knoll wants to try a technique that Bruce from their class (and Felicity's dream) told him about. The technique involved staring deeply into your subject's eyes. They move on to the same sofa and stare into each other's eyes while the subtle, not, soundtrack continues to blast Nash's I Can See Clearly Now. They almost kiss but then Elena returns home. Elena tells them that she can see that they were about to kiss. They deny it but she says that they should go ahead because it doesn't matter to her and it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving. Elena goes to her room and Felicity and Knoll look at each other awkwardly. ["Have I mentioned lately how much I love Elena? She really doesn't pull any punches." -- Kim]
Okay, so Felicity has another dream full of gauzy drapery. This time she wakes up in bed with Knoll and even she describes it as the "most unsettling dream so far." Under her pillow she finds the bracelet that Knoll bought for Ruby, in pieces. When she picks it up, she is now in bed with Ruby. Ruby produces the Palm Pilot and asks Felicity if that was her idea.
Now, thanks to the overhead-classroom-cam we can see a room full of people seated at desks writing exams. Felicity is telling Sally that she just took her French Lit final and now she has no idea what the question was. Here's a hint, it was likely written in French. Maybe that's why you didn't understand the question. Hey, don't email me to explain Felicity's comment. Actually, I get it. I'm just trying to be funny. If you don't think that's funny, just wait till you see my response to your illuminating emails.
At the loft, Sean is crunching numbers at the table and Ben is sitting across from him highlighting the hell out of a book. Then he gets up and throws the book against the wall. Sean says, "Roger Clemens, what's your problem?" Ben complains about his American Lit final. Sean discovers that Ben is trying to write his paper about The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells when it is supposed to be about Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Ben is floored to find out that there are "two books with the same title?" Actually, they don't have the same title, but you have already proved in this episode that close reading is not one of the skills in your pretty little head. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I had to say that for Wing Chun's benefit. Julie flounces in and tells them that Pop Rocks is on the verge of signing her. Ben congratulates her then leaves to go to the bookstore. Julie and Sean apologize to each other and Sean admits that the Smoothaise deal has fallen through. Julie says that she's sorry to hear that. They smooth things over more then Julie goes to call her parents, leaving Sean in the kitchen looking lovesick.
In her room, Felicity is staring deeply into a mirror when Ruby appears at her door. Felicity explains that she is doing her self-portrait and not just staring at herself. Ruby explains her per diem and that she wants to buy a plane ticket for Knoll to come back with her to Los Angeles but she doesn't know if it would be too extravagant, so she has come to ask for Felicity's advice. Felicity says that she would give it to Knoll (heh), but Ruby shouldn't take her advice. Ruby decides to take her advice and she leaves while Felicity is left to snap at flies.
Felicity assaults Knoll at Epstein Bar with the question, "Were you going to kiss me or not?" Knoll admits that he was and then he rhymes off the reasons why they should and shouldn't get back together. He vacillates between Felicity and Ruby and concludes that he doesn't have a decision. They both agree to think about things, and they stare into each other's eyes again.
Okay, so Felicity is in her room, STILL working on her drawing of Knoll while she tells Sally that she didn't dream about Knoll or anyone the night. She mentions that she woke up with an excited, hopeful feeling that she and Knoll would be getting back together. She leaves to go to class and runs into Ruby in the hall. Ruby asks her if she and Knoll are getting back together. Then she whines about working on the movie and staying in a nice hotel and that the only things that keeps her going are the packages that Knoll sends her. Geez, working on movie, staying in a hotel, a generous per diem, those bastards! Felicity is surprised to hear that Knoll sent Ruby the packages. Ruby tells Felicity that Knoll means a lot to her and that she could never compete with Felicity. Felicity gives her the "we're just friends" line which Ruby buys.
At the loft, Sean is typing Ben's paper for him and it is due in fifteen minutes. Sean does the "oops, he lost the file" schtick which Ben believes until Sean informs him that he is just kidding. Ben doesn't think it is funny.["I thought it was funny." -- Kim]
In Sherman's classroom, Knoll thinks that Sherman is going to roll her tank all over them and end their academic careers. Felicity doesn't seem concerned and she tells him about her conversation with Ruby. She thinks he should go with Ruby to L.A. He decides to go and Sherman analyzes their drawings at the front of the classroom. She positively critiques both drawings much to Knoll and Felicity's surprise. After class, Felicity approaches La Sherman to thank her for the grade and critique. Sherman informs her that she was "critiquing the art, not the artist." Score one for the tank lady.
Out on the street, a cabbie puts Ruby's bags into the trunk of his taxi and Knoll says goodbye to her in slow motion. He gives her the bracelet just before she gets into the cab.
Felicity tells us that she is going to Palo Alto the night when Knoll will be flying to L.A. They're flying out of different airports and we see them on the street hailing cabs. Knoll helps her into her taxi and they get close and gaze at each other. Knoll looks like he's going to kiss her, so she gives him a peck on the cheek. They wish each other a good Christmas, and her cab pulls away.
["Why was Ben the only one with a real final due? Remember last season's episode where everyone was all stressed out and Knoll took the beet juice or whatever and started flipping out? That was a much more realistic (and entertaining) portrayal of end of semester stress at a university, I think." -- Kim]
This episode needed 200% more Javier and Meghan.