Before I begin, I'd like to acknowledge Danny Drennan and his late, lamented Wrap-ups. They entertained me for years and taught me everything I know about recapping teen dramas. I couldn't possibly match his wit or style, but it gives me something to aim for.
The show begins with an intoned "Previously on Felicity," which is followed by a few scenes from the first season finale: Ben asking Felicity to go on the cross-country road trip and Knoll asking her to go to Berlin with him in one breath, then telling her he has already purchased a ticket for her in the breath, with a little nostril flare in between. Assume much, Knollstrils? Felicity's voice-over says, "I didn't have to make a decision between Ben and Knoll, but I did." Um, yeah you did have to make that decision, because thankfully the writers realized the folly of having you "choose me" à la Kelly Taylor. Then we see Felicity in slow-motion getting into a cab and the driver asking, "So, where to?" And, once again, we all try to read her lips from the side as she tells the driver where she is going.
When the episode proper begins, it is with a slo-mo recap of the cab driver putting Felicity's luggage in the trunk, while she gets in the cab. While we relive the moment that she gets in the cab, we hear Felicity's voice saying, "It was the end of my freshman year, and there I was sitting in the cab." For what seems like the fourteenth time tonight, cab driver asks again, "So, where to?" Then we see that Felicity is recounting the story to Javier at a table in Dean & DeLuca. I'll just take a moment to say YEE FREAKIN' HAW, Javier is back! All of a sudden, a beeper goes off and Felicity looks at it then tells Javier that it "is Meghan, our floor meeting starts in fifteen minutes," all the while Javier's left snapping at flies and asking what the hell she did? Felicity gets up to leave and tells him that it is kind of a story and that she has to go and she'll tell him later. As she leaves and Javier implores her to finish the story, another employee approaches him. I only mention this because of the most excellent gesture he makes while telling the guy that he can't deal with him right now. The time I need to shoo someone away from me, I'm going to employ Javier's patented arms-extended-flat-palms-out-pumping-arms-shoving-away-motion. I urge you to try it too -- even the dumbest shooee won't fail to grasp your meaning. Anyway, Javier tells Felicity that he will kill her if she doesn't tell him what happened. Felicity promises to come back and tell him everything after her meeting and Javier says that he's all emotional. Then Felicity kisses Javier and tells him she's so glad he got his visa. Except she pronounces it VEESE-ah instead of VEEZ-ah. Javier says, "Can joo believe that my life is so good now, HA ha!" Felicity thanks him for her schedule as she's going through the door and Javier threatens to fire her if she doesn't come back and tell him everything. To no one in particular he says, "Oh, it is so unfair."
Then we get the opening credits with the same unintelligible and somewhat tuneless "low-dee-doe-dah" singing soundtrack with some new pictures of the cast. Keri Russell is still shown with long hair which makes me wonder if that will change in a few episodes when she gets her hair cut on the show. Scott Speedman still looks pretty crushworthy, even in the profile shot. The first time we see Amy Jo Johnson it is with her damnable guitar! I was waiting for it to get a credit too. is the fabulous Tangi Miller with super awesome and practically waist-length braids. Her hair does deserve a credit. I just get the feeling that she is going to kick ass and take names this season. Greg Grunberg and Amanda Foreman are featured in the opening, which I guess augurs that they both are going to get bigger and better story lines this year. Last and least, is Scott Foley, in an extreme nostril-cam shot. Before anyone sends me a snotty note telling me that the name of his character is Noel, don't, because I know that. However, none of the characters on the show seem to know it because they persist in pronouncing his name Knoll, with just one syllable. Don't try to stop me because I've been doing it since the beginning of last season. But I have to ask, um, where is Ian Gomez's credit? Let the season begin.
Okay, the scene begins with Felicity sitting in the half-light, on the end of an unmade bed, taping a letter to Sally. We know this because she says, "Dear Sally," and proceeds to demonstrate that her new bed squeaks while telling her that it is weird to be back "for a million reasons, the first of which is my new roommate." Then there are a bunch of establishing shots showing the street outside of the dorm, and a different taxi driver taking Felicity's bags out of the trunk, while she tells Sally that when she first got back all she could think about "was Ben and Knoll and what it was going to be like to see them again." She goes on to talk about facing the "consequences of what I did last year," and how chaotic everything is while she is shown coming into the building. As she walks off the elevator in the dorm, in the voice-over she is telling Sally that she is comforted by the thought of being an R.A. this year which means that she is getting a single room. When she gets to the designated meeting spot, the only person there is a perky young woman who introduces herself as "Nancy, fourth floor advisor"; she tells Felicity that she has missed the meeting. Felicity starts muttering about her flight from San Francisco being late and she asks Nancy for the "Cliff's Notes version" of the meeting. Nancy informs her in a sort of Valley-girl voice that during the summer "they found out that Slater Hall had asbestos in it, like, more asbestos than oxygen," so as a result, people in single rooms have to double up and the people in double rooms have to "triple up," and it is a "disaster." Felicity states rather plaintively that she is supposed to have a single room and Nancy says, "that's what everyone was saying at the meeting." Felicity stares at her in disbelief.
In the scene Felicity walks into her new room to discover Meghan putting some of her stuff on a shelf. Meghan immediately gives Felicity hell for missing the first R.A. meeting while Felicity looks shocked and says, "we're roommates again?" In the first of what will likely be many reality-check deliveries to Felicity this season, Meghan says, "That was kind of my reaction, except angrier and louder. And in between 'we're' and 'roommates,' I added a word." Felicity stands there looking like a stunned mullet. I don't know if it because the realization that she has to live with Meghan is sinking in, or the if it is the realization that she is not the only person in the world who thinks she is lumbered with a dud roommate.
Then we're back to Felicity sitting on the bed in the half-light telling Sally that it might not be all that bad living with Meghan and being co-R.A.s, and that they have forty-six advisees, and that she is nervous. we see Felicity and Meghan's first meeting with their advisees. For some reason, both Felicity and Meghan are wearing their hair up, I guess, in an effort to look more advisorly. They stand in front of a room full of freshpeople who look more or less what first-year university students look like, or at least Hollywood's perception of first-year students. While Felicity tells them the cafeteria's operating hours and those of the student union, Meghan pours cold water on Felicity's earnestness by telling them that the food sucks. When Felicity tries to play it off, Meghan contradicts her by emphasizing that the food is the worst and all the students laugh. A young woman in the back asks, " Does Health Services fill prescriptions?" Felicity answers yes, then Meghan asks, "What kind of prescription? What's wrong with you?" For some insane reason, the young woman responds, "Birth control." Yeah, that's a great way to get to know the people living on your floor, by telling them that you need to get your birth control prescription filled. However, it gives Meghan an opportunity to tell the student not go to Felicity for contraceptive advice because Felicity has only had sex once, and to stay away from Health Services. She goes on to say, "Oh, and the guy she had sex with, she barely even knew." All the while Felicity is glaring and hissing at her. Meghan says that when she went to Health Services last year to get a refill of "Zomig for migraines, because I was living with [Felicity], they gave me 20 Zyprexa, which is an anti-psychotic." Felicity finally fights back and states that that might not have been a mistake, then she bulls ahead and tells the student to check it out for herself. Felicity wraps up the meeting with an invitation to "come talk to us at any time" and wishes them all a great year. Meghan and Felicity leave the room and Meghan says that she thinks that the meeting went pretty well. Felicity says, "You just announced my sexual history to a group of strangers!" and Meghan replies, "Is one a history? And hey, I have news for you, no one cares." Soon they are joined by a freshman who introduces himself as Brian Burke who tells them that they "run an exceptional meeting" and he asks if what Meghan said about Felicity's one sexual experience is true.
Felicity firmly tells him that it is none of his business but Brian counters that he was not the one who brought it up, and he goes on to ask if advisees can get involved with their advisors. Felicity quickly answers no, but Meghan butts in with "Well, it didn't stop her last year." Felicity tells Meghan that their living together is not going to work and that she is going to the housing office to ask for a transfer. Brian then says that he is going to have to transfer and that Felicity should think of him for once. To that Felicity asks incredulously, "Who are you?!?" Brian outstretches his hand and says, "People call me Burkey." Felicity excuses herself and walks away. "Burkey" admires her departure and asks Meghan if Felicity is "always this moody."
Now, we're back out on the street watching Julie, dressed in jeans and a capped-sleeved, low-cut, pink, clingy, pseudo peasant blouse number, which showcases her breasts ("It looked like a figure skating costume to me." -- Wing Chun), cross the street carrying her suitcases and her guitar case, which I can only hope is empty, or full of butterfly clips for her hair. I'm going to interject right here that it is like ten minutes into the show and we still don't know what or whom Felicity did over the summer. She spots Sean on the street corner trying to sell "freshman packets" for $15, "marked down from twenty" without much success. Julie approaches him saying that she'll take one. They greet each other warmly and tell each other that they look great and Sean seems to note her cleavage. Julie asks Sean what he is selling and he tells her that the freshman packet contains all the essentials: "aspirin, maps, pepper spray, condoms." He clarifies that they aren't "pepper spray condoms" but rather that they are two separate items. Julie giggles, and he goes on to say that it also contains "energy bars and No-Doz" all for $15. When Julie asks him how many he has sold, he evades the question by saying that he's only been out for a couple of hours, and he changes the subject and asks her if she has talked to Ben. She tries to make light of it and says she hasn't spoken to Ben since May. Sean tells her that Ben is supposed to be getting in today, but he hasn't heard from him yet. Julie brushes off this information and says, "Anyway, I'm so pysched to be back. I'm just going to have fun this year. I have a new outlook, a single room and I'm going to make up for last year which was a real dark patch." Sean tells her that that's impossible because she met him last year and he invites her to come by and say hello unless it is "going to be awkward with Ben." Julie insists "that was a long time ago; sure I'll come by." As they part, Julie tells him to sell the freshman packet for $5. Sean asks if she is nuts, then as soon as she has gone in the building he starts barking out, "Freshman packet, five bucks."
Julie opens the door on her new room to discover that two people, who appear to be twins, are already in it. They both begin speaking excitedly at once, saying things like, "Ohmigod, are you Julie?" They introduce themselves as Penny and Stacey. Somewhat confused, Julie asks if this is her room because she is supposed to have a single room. Again, Penny and Stacey begin talking at the same time, telling her that they were supposed to have a double room but they were moved, and it is going to be so great having a sophomore roommate, to which Julie answers, "wow."
Back out on the street, Felicity is walking in slow motion, and her voice-over tape to Sally says, "I'm back in New York, but it doesn't feel the same because I haven't seen anyone yet like Elena or Julie, Ben or Knoll." She wonders if Meghan put a hex on her which "wouldn't surprise her a bit."
So then Felicity is at the counter of the housing office explaining that she can't share a room with Meghan Rotundi (Rotundi?!?!?) because they lived together last year and it is "just real [sic] contentious" and it won't be good for them or their advisees. At this point, Julie has appeared and is standing in the doorway of the housing office. Felicity asks the housing office worker if she can be reassigned because she needs another place to live. He tells her that since she is an R.A. she can apply to switch with another R.A. but it is unlikely that she'll get her room changed. As he is handing her a form, Felicity's face falls but she thanks him anyway. The housing guy points to Julie and asks if he can help her. Julie says, "Um, no thanks, I was gonna ask the same question." Felicity turns and sees that it is Julie, and they stare at each other wordlessly for a few seconds, then Julie walks away. Felicity says in her voice-over, "One year ago, I was becoming friends with people; now I'm becoming enemies."
Felicity is now seated on a bench in the hall, filling out her Petition for Change of Dorm Room form. Naturally, all the passersby are walking in slow motion. Felicity looks up in one direction and sees Ben coming down the hall. Ben sees her and pauses. Ben's gaze is averted when he spots Knoll coming down the hall in the opposite direction. Ben and Knoll exchange glances, then Knoll spots Felicity. She follows Ben's gaze and sees Knoll standing there in plaid shirt, nostrils a-flarin'. Knoll continues down the hall and Felicity gives him a wan smile, Knoll looks at her for a second, gives a final flare, then looks away in disgust. Felicity sits there looking hurt. Ben approaches her, giving a look over his shoulder at the retreating Knoll. He reaches Felicity and she stands up. Ben smiles at her and she stands there looking confused. Ben swoops in to kiss her as the music (among other things) swells. Finally, the slo-mo action ends and Ben says, "It's good to see you," to which Felicity replies, "You too." They kiss again a few times. ("Thank God!" -- Wing Chun)
After a number of commercials, we're right back where we started. Felicity is in the cab and the driver says, "So, where to?" This time, Felicity says, "Kennedy Airport, please. International Terminal." Felicity sits there looking pleased with herself and the driver starts up the car. Then, we're back at Dean & DeLuca and Javier says, "Wait a minute, you said you went with Ben." Felicity answers, "I know, but when the driver asked where to, that's what came out." She tells Javier that sitting in the car, "it felt right, it felt safe" which made her realize that she knew what going with Noel would be like, but she didn't know what going with Ben would be like.
So, she told the driver, "We're not going to the airport. 170 Wooster Street, please." They pull up in front of Ben's building where he is on the street, leaning against a car. Ben smiles at Felicity as she gets out of the taxi. Javier interjects, "How could you not go with Knoll? So cute with the pinky ring. You ever seen him smile, it's so electric." Okay Javier, obviously you sustained some kind of head injury during your trip to Spain, but whatever. Felicity tells him that she knows. And Javier says, "Ben, with his new haircut. You want like an incredible buffet of men." Felicity continues that it was a good chance to get to know what Ben was really like and she trails off, "it was..." Javier stares at her intently and says, "Sex?!?" Felicity says no and Javier says, "Good for you." ("I would like to interject that I find it none too realistic that two hormonally over-charged 18-year-olds drove across the country together, by themselves, and did not have sex. But I guess they're trying to be good role models or something, so whatever." -- Kim) At this point, I must say that early last year I thought that Felicity was wasting her time pining after Ben when a seemingly perfectly good guy clearly was interested in her. Then Knoll told her about his girlfriend on their first date, and it all went down hill from there for me. While Ben is not perfect, I was happy that Felicity decided to go on the road trip with him. She had a crush on him for years and when he finally became interested in her, it was at the beginning of the summer after their first year at university -- the perfect time to live out a fantasy. After all, when is a better time to do it than when you're eighteen years old? Practicality should really not be a consideration at that point in your life and if it turns out badly, well, you've got a lot of years to get over it. Anyway, Ben turns up at the table with a basket of something in his hand and asks Javier if he should put them out. Javier eyes him up and down while smirking. Ben asks Felicity if she is telling Javier the story of their trip and she admits that she is. Javier tells Ben that he wishes he had been on the trip. Ben says, "Yeah, yeah that would've been interesting if you were on the trip with us." Javier says, "Yeah, a different kind of trip," while Felicity giggles. Ben walks away ("but as he goes he puts his hand on her shoulder for a moment and she puts her hand on his and it kind of lingers there for a moment and then slides off as he walks away...which may not seem noteworthy, but I remembered it and liked it" -- Wing Chun) and Javier leans in to ask Felicity, "So what about Knoll, and Julie, who hates you now, right?" Felicity admits that neither of them returned her calls over the summer and that one of the times she called Knoll in Berlin, a woman answered. Javier says, "Well, good for him, you know. I'm sure he didn't spend all summer long pining over you. Forget you, you broke his heart!" Felicity exclaims, "Javier!" He tells her with much hand flourishing, "That's why you love me you know, brutal honesty, I'm sorry." I don't know about Felicity, but that's why I love you, Javier. Felicity goes on to tell Javier that Knoll walked right by her without saying anything. Well, Felicity babe, he said it all with his nostrils; what more do you need? Javier tries to reassure her that once she does talk to Knoll, everything will be okay. Neither of them looks too confident about that statement though.
Julie is seen walking up to her mailbox in the dorm. As she is taking out her mail, Sean appears at her side excitedly telling her that he has sold almost thirty freshmen packets since he last saw her. He puts it down to the fact that he dropped the price at her suggestion. Since she doesn't seem too enthused he asks her what is wrong. She sighs and says, "I'm living with two cheerleaders; they spent all morning doing herkies in their underwear." Both Sean and I don't know what that means, but he goes on to say that it sounds fantastic. I think it sounds like poor potty training, but whatever. ("Ha ha! I am ashamed to admit that I know a herky is a type of cheerleading jump." -- Kim) Julie whines, "I'm supposed to have a single and I'm living in a locker room." Sean tells her that she can stay at the loft for a while. She says that she can't and he asks why not. He reminds her that she said that what happened with Ben was a long time ago. She thanks him and tells him that she will tough it out. He asks if she is sure, and to drive home her point, she "spells" out y-e-s, cheerleader style. For someone who mocks cheering, she certainly has the moves down. As she leaves, Sean calls out to her, "Well, if there is anymore underwear activity, give me a call, all right?"
Felicity is now wearing some kind of knit halter top affair and is seated on her bed, talking into her tape recorder to Sally. A knock comes at the door and Felicity shouts out "come in." Ben walks in and Felicity tells Sally that it is Ben, and she beckons him to say hi to her, which he does. Then he asks Felicity what she said to Sally on the tape. Felicity says, "Uh, nothing. It's private." Ben says, "Really?" Felicity folds like a house of cards and tells him that she asked Sally if she "thought that Knoll and Julie would ever forgive us," while stuffing the tape into an envelope. Ben then asks Felicity if she is sorry that she went with him and she says that she is sorry that he spent the rest of the summer in Mexico. Ben smirks and says, "I'm serious, do you think it was a mistake?" Felicity sobers up, exhales and says, "I think...I wish it weren't so complicated." Ben nods, smirks, and says, "yeah, me too," while moving in to kiss her. They kiss loudly and slurpily.
Now Ben and Sean are standing in the dark at the loft, waiting for the microwave and Ben says, "So, Julie moving in here..." Sean says, "So, you wouldn't be comfortable?" Ben tries the ole passive-aggressive gambit and says, "No, I don't care, I'm not sure she's going to be comfortable, y'know, considering the circumstances." Sean asks, "What circumstances?" Ben says, "Just the fact that Felicity and I, we might start dating." The microwave beeps. Sean's eyes grow wide and from the microwave, Ben takes out a bowl of something, and what looks to be a package of bologna in one of those see-through cellophane packages. Ben says, "What's that expression?" Sean tells him that Felicity is not exactly the kind of girl you date, she's the kind you marry. "I swear to god, I'm eight years older than you, when you were born, I was already in Little League. That's a lifetime of experience." They have a brief conversation about baseball before Sean says, "I like Felicity, but you're not ready for that. She's this thoughtful, challenging, complicated girl who examines the world she sees --" Just then, Ben burns his mouth on his food and makes all kinds of "too hot" hand gestures.
Sean continues, "And you're, you're like this idiot." True, Sean. But he makes a damn cute idiot. Besides, he's the kind of idiotic boy that you date -- not the kind that you marry. Ben tells him to do what he wants about Julie, and he'll do what he wants about Felicity. "I like her. I can't help it. We idiots like Felicity." That's how so many people in the audience feel. But about Felicity, the show.
Okay, Ben and Felicity are making out, in slow-motion, in the stockroom at Dean & DeLuca, while Felicity's voice-over tells Sally that she can't believe that they're making out and making plans because she used to just hope that she would run into him. Javier looks in through the window in the door and makes a disgusted face when he sees them, rolls his eyes, then walks away.
Felicity tells Sally that Elena saw it coming, while we see Elena standing on the street, swinging her fantabulous braids, in slow-motion. Felicity goes on to tell Sally that when Knoll came back from Berlin, he found a great two-bedroom apartment above Epstein Bar and he called Elena to ask if she knew anyone who wanted to share an apartment, and she said that she wanted to share it with him. Meanwhile, Felicity and Elena are meeting and embracing on the street, then they're carrying a table between them as the cross at an intersection. Felicity tells Sally that Elena thoughtfully called her before taking the apartment to ask if it was okay with her. Felicity's only feelings of jealousy are about Elena having her own apartment.
They arrive at the apartment and carry in the table while giggling. Of course, the apartment is huge and bright and airy and has great kitchen cabinets, which in reality would be completely out of reach for financially strapped students in New York. Felicity helps her put the table in place and then says that she has to go. Elena won't let her get away without offering her a drink from her "real fridge, no more of that two foot square crap," from which she takes a Dr. Pepper for Felicity, and a Sprite for herself. Product placement much? Elena points out all the rooms and says, "I can give a tour without even moving." Um, yeah, it is so much smaller than Monica and Rachel's garret. Not. They toast Elena's "great new place," while Felicity turns a few circles. Elena tells her that she knows that Felicity's just being there makes her (Felicity) uncomfortable. Felicity denies it and Elena says, "whatever" complete with a whatever face. Felicity asks her if Knoll has mentioned her and Elena says no, and that that worries her. After a ten-second awkward silence, Elena asks what the "dish is on Ben." Felicity tells her that things are good, and they go back and forth saying the word good with varying inflections and multiple syllables. Elena tries to determine whether Felicity and Ben slept together, and when Felicity tells her things are good, with only one syllable, Elena asks when things are going to get gooo-ooo-d. As they both yuk it up over that, Knoll comes through the door, carrying a couple bags of groceries. Elena makes up an excuse to leave, saying that she's going back to the store to buy a chair, leaving Knoll and Felicity alone.
Felicity says to Knoll's back as he unpacks the groceries, "That's a great...uh, I like your place." Knoll says he's glad. Felicity rambles on about how hard it is to be an R.A. and that she's likely already given out a bunch of bad advice. Knoll's back tells her that she'll "get the hang of it," and that if he "can do it, anybody can." Felicity tells him that he was very good at it. If you call getting involved with a young woman who is confused and far away from home, even though you have a girlfriend in another state, "good," then Knoll did an excellent job. Felicity tells him that she called him in Berlin but that a woman answered the phone. Knoll says, "Oh yeah? That must have been Beth." Felicity asks if she was in the program. Knoll says "no" and Felicity says "oh." He then says, "Berlin turned out to be wonderful. It was the best three months of my life. I mean, I was a little annoyed at first, wondering what you were doing with Ben. Whether you were staying in motels or just camping out. You know, wondering what positions you guys were in, whether he was on top, or you were on top." Felicity says, "Knoll." Knoll the dickhead then says, "I'm just being honest. I was wondering all the same things about you and Ben that you were just wondering about me and Beth." Well, don't be too sure. Felicity doesn't have a dick that does all of her thinking for her, which may be exactly why she didn't go to Berlin with you. Instead of saying just that, she says that it is horrible the way they are talking to each other. Knoll counters, "Do you think so? I don't know, I think it's kind of liberating saying exactly what you feel. I mean, somehow, it makes me feel better telling you I slept with Beth and that she was great. So what is this, revenge? I don't think so. I think it just feels good to settle the score. Make sure you know there's some parity." Gee, it's too bad that Knoll isn't an R.A. again this year; I hate to see all that maturity and wisdom go to waste. Felicity tells him that it isn't a competition, and he tells her that "whatever it is, it's over." And he walks over to her with his arms folded and super-assholic body language, and says, "I can honestly say, without any sense of uncertainty, that I never want to see you again. I know we will -- we go to the same college. I just don't want to." He takes a beat while Felicity is left reeling, and then says, "But I'm glad you like the apartment." With that, he walks into his room and closes the door. As much as I think Knoll is a knob, Scott Foley did a terrific job conveying Knoll's anger and bitterness. He really had some hatred in his eyes. Either that, or he had in some really irritating contact lenses during that scene.
Felicity arrives back at her dorm room to hear some loud, bad, pseudo metal music and Meghan shouting into the answering machine, "Leave a message or just hang up." When Felicity asks her what she is doing, Meghan, who has her hair in two ponytails which makes her look like MaryAnn from Gilligan's Island on bad acid, tells her that since they used Felicity's outgoing message last year, they're going to use hers this year. Felicity stomps over to her side of the room, causing Meghan to ask her, "What's the bug up your butt?" Felicity tells her to leave her alone several times because she isn't in the mood to hear one of Meghan's sarcastic remarks.
Meghan tells Felicity that she is right to be angry with her for her telling everyone about Felicity's sexual experience because she learned at Wicca camp that "everything you put out, you get back times three. So, see what I'm doing here, I'm trying to be a good roommate." Meghan goes on to prompt Felicity to tell her her troubles. After hesitating, Felicity begins rambling about choosing Ben and the ripple effect of that until Meghan stops her with, "I can't do this. You're just going to pour your heart out and I'm going to say something sarcastic, I just know I will, so we should stop." Felicity's mouth hangs open long enough to catch a few flies and then they both agree to let it go.
Julie appears to be trying to read while her twin roommates, with their not-quite-identical pink tops and cut-off shorts, have their pompons at the ready and they begin to cheer in unison, "Okay, we're the Hartford Dingoes/while we're steppin' n' stuff/we know we're number one, we're gonna stay a while/we're the Hartford Dingoes/we always keep our cool/we'll always conquer your team/when they take us in a duel/I said, hey we got the power/it's boiling hot/we're gonna rock steady/until we almost drop." To that display, Julie says, "That was great. Excuse me. I'm moving out." The twins look saddened at the prospect.
Felicity shows up at the loft and is greeted warmly by Sean. He asks if she's there for Ben and she says yes and then asks if he is there. Before Sean can answer, Julie saunters out of a room and says, "nope." Sean explains that Javier called Ben into work. Sean wanders away as Felicity looks stricken. Julie unpacks some stuff and Felicity says, "Hey, what's going on?" Julie ever so smugly tells Felicity that she's "moving in for a while," and then asks, "what's up with you?" Felicity says "nothing" so Julie says, "okay" and she walks away. In my world, there are two definitions of the word smugly: the traditional one and the one that is the combination of "some" and "ugly." Both meanings apply to Julie's behaviour in this scene.
Over at Dean & DeLuca, Ben says from behind the counter, "She's movin' in?" Felicity says, "Yeah, she said she's moving in for a while. Sean didn't mention it?" Ben looks away and says, "No, he asked me what I thought about it, but he didn't say he was going to do it." Felicity asks him what he thinks about it and he says he doesn't care. She says that he has to care and he swears to god that he doesn't care. Javier interrupts them to ask Ben to get back to work. They continue to talk about how it doesn't matter that Julie is moving into the loft, but that it is weird, just the same. Ben mentions that there is something he wants to tell Felicity and Javier comes back to say to Ben, "Guess what, love is blind but my customers are not -- well, most of them. So, I need you to earn your wage, okay?" To Felicity he says, "Nice top, I like that" and he walks away. Ben and Felicity make plans to get together that night, and Javier yells at Ben, "Benjameen!"
Felicity is back in her room dictating a tape to Sally and telling her that Ben wants to tell her something. She wonders if he wants to break up in one breath and declares that it's likely nothing, in the breath. She vows not to over-think it, but to just go out and have fun. As if, Felicity. You not over-analysing would be like asking Knoll not to flare his Knollstrils.
So, Elena and Julie are sitting in Epstein Bar and Elena tells Julie that she thinks she is playing with fire. Julie defends herself by saying that she couldn't take the cheerleaders any longer. Elena says that things are going to get ugly (and smugly, if you ask me) if Julie keeps living in the loft. Julie states that Ben and Felicity won't last. Elena agrees but says it'll be because Julie is in the loft. Julie disgustingly licks her fingers as Knoll comes to the table with the news that The Blair Witch Project begins at 10:15. Elena says she won't see that movie, so Knoll suggests seeing This is Spinal Tap, just as Felicity and Ben enter the bar. They come to the table and say hello. Elena remarks, "This isn't awkward," to which Knoll replies, "Oh no, we're all adults, we can handle this." Think again, Double Car Garage, you're about to contradict yourself, with emphasis on the 'dict.' Ben greets Elena especially because he hadn't seen since last year, and Knoll pipes up, "Y'know, you haven't seen me either; how come you don't say hi to me, Ben?" Ben smiles and says hello. Knoll says hello back and Elena suggests that they go to see whichever movie begins in the two minutes. Felicity and Ben suggest to their shoes that they should be going, but Julie says that they are going. Knoll invites Ben and Felicity to the movies because he's "allowed to invite Felicity and the guy she chose over [him] to the movies." Ben delivers the first great line of the night when he tells Knoll that he "doesn't have to be such a dick about this." Knoll responds, as only he could, "I think this is exactly the amount of dick that I need to be." Elena asks him if this behaviour is an example of the new Knoll, and he tells her to shut up, which causes Julie to tell him to shut up, and then Elena tells him to shut up. Ben wades in with, "Don't be an ass to Elena!" Knoll threatens that he will "kick [Ben's] ass if [he] says another thing to him." In his second great line of the night, Ben says, "You're going to kick my ass? How, using a computer?" I think it would have stung just a little more if he had said, "how, using an iMac?" Don't get me wrong, I wrote this wrap on an iMac, but I'm not a supposed award-winning graphic designer, who creates new fonts on a computer that chugs and has a 15-inch display. The scene devolves into a screaming match with the characters telling each other to relax or grow up. Julie suggests that they transfer to a different college. Ben wants Felicity to leave with him, but she won't go and be chased out by Knoll and Julie. As Ben leaves, Julie comments that "he gets up and goes pretty well, doesn't he." Knoll smirks and Elena tells him that she needs to borrow some money. Knoll then passively-aggressively says, "Oh, who knew that was coming?" Elena calls him on it but by then he has thrown some money on the table is and heading for the door. Julie says, "Well, this blows," as she also throws down some money and she flounces out the door. Elena looks over at Felicity's table and says, "Is this what the rest of the year is gonna be like?" If she is referring to insults being hurled between Ben and Knoll, I say, BRING IT ON!
Once again, Felicity is moping in the half-light of her room when a knock comes on the door. It is Ben, who has come to tell her that thing he wanted to say earlier. They sit together on the bed and before Felicity lets him say it, she says, "Can I say something first?" Ben says, "You usually do." Did Ben become more astute over the summer, or did he just get sassier? Anyway, Felicity rambles on saying that if Ben wants to break up, she wants him to do it without any "stammer[ing] and talk[ing] searchingly." Ben sort of laughs and tells her that he wants to make sure that she knows that Julie's moving in doesn't matter or mean anything and that he's so happy that they're "doing this." He also tells her that he missed her when he was in Mexico. They begin kissing noisily again and drop out of the frame, presumably onto the bed.
Knoll clumsily apologizes to Elena by saying that he didn't mean what he said the night before. She says, "What, calling me 'cheapo'?" Knoll says he didn't call her "cheapo," but that he felt like he had been spending a lot of money lately, but since then he's realized that she's been spending a lot of money too. She says, "Damn right, that table cost me ninety bucks!" Then they discuss the inherent problems of her being friends with Felicity while being his roommate. She urges him to keep the communication lines open, and then confides that she had an affair with Dr. "Feelgood" McGrath. She says that they slept together but then the good doctor called her a few weeks ago and said it was over. Knoll keeps repeating, "You slept with him?" Elena cautions him that he is the only person who knows about the affair and says that that means he "has something on [her]." She requests that they be totally honest with each other from then on. So he says the table is the ugliest one he has ever seen. I wonder what that whole scene was about. Was the sole purpose to reveal that Elena's affair was over? It seems like a weird way to do it. Mark my words kids: I don't think this is the last we'll hear of the Doctah.
Sean, Ben, and Julie sit around a table eating while Julie annoyingly taps a pencil on the table. They look at each other awkwardly and Ben tells Julie that if she's going to be mad at anyone, she should be mad at him. She snipes, "Are you giving me permission to be mad at you?" She then makes a dramatic little speech about what a terrible year she had last year and that she trusted the wrong people, and ends it by saying that this year her life is about a lot more than Ben and Felicity. Yeah! She's got the only friend she needs, her guitar. And don't you forget it! After she flounces away yet again, Sean starts badgering Ben to break up with Felicity because she might be in love with him. He ends up planting the seed of doubt in Ben's mind, and it works because Ben obviously doesn't feel that strongly about her.
Ben interrupts a discussion between Felicity and Meghan in their room about why Meghan told one of their advisees that it was okay for him to have a ferret in his room. Meghan implores Felicity to go with her to tell that guy that it isn't okay since his roommate is allergic to ferrets. Felicity asks Ben to wait while she helps sort out the problem. On their way to the advisees' room, Meghan asks if Felicity if she and Ben are "doing it." Felicity says no and Meghan says that she thinks Ben is cute and Felicity agrees. Ben eyes Felicity's tape recorder on her bed and when he is left alone in the room, he rewinds it and hears Felicity telling Sally that she can't believe that they're making out and making plans because she used to just hope that she would run into him and that she thinks it might be love. With that phrase ringing in my ears, I can't help but remember the ABC After School Special called, If This is Love, Why Do I Feel So Dumb? Anyway, Ben blanches when he hears the tape and that is the end of the premiere episode.