This show has been pretty lackluster, yes? Oh look, we're having a reunion. Well, that's a good sign. Isaac welcomes the designers, as well as Fern and Kelly. He says that they have some questions for the designers. He points out that Angel is wearing the shirtdress that she designed for episode 4. She says that some viewers liked it and asked her to reproduce it. Everyone acts faux-enthusiastic about it and she adds that the version she's wearing has actual buttons and buttonholes instead of the glued-on version from the show. He asks her to stand up and model it. He thinks it's really cute. Kelly says that it's "so US Open." Isaac tells her to get Serena on the phone. Yeah, I think that Angel was planning on women playing tennis in her dress. Thank you, Kelly Rowland, for that contribution. I have no idea why that comment bothers me so much.
On to Andrew, the "Pantychrist." So charming. Isaac asks him if sales of lavender-colored jock straps have gone up. Oh good, we're 2 for 2 in the demeaning of the designers. Perhaps there will be some sort of revolt. I can't imagine why you would do this, but if you catch a marathon of this series, notice how Isaac has gained weight throughout. Put that in your lavender-colored jock strap, Isaac. Gross. Andrew continues, saying that his company can't keep up with production. The business is exploding. Well, you set that one up, Andrew. Marcus, who is beside him, begins giggling and Isaac picks up on it and screams that "THE UNDERWEAR IS EXPLODING!" You can't really blame him. Andrew says that he wishes he hadn't been eliminated from the show the way he had. Isaac says that his was a hard week, because they liked his dress -- just not as much as they liked Lidia's. He asks him if he's serious. Isaac's like, of course we're serious. Then, Andrew, who has clearly been waiting to say this, says that he made a very sellable dress, while Lidia's was Nightmare Before Christmas. Isaac and Kelly are stunned. Lidia, smiling, says that, like Isaac mentioned, if you're going to fail -- fail big. Isaac says that there are many ways to fail and they just liked the way Lidia failed more than they liked the way Andrew failed. That may be the most reasonable salient point that has been made on this entire series.
Kelly reminds everyone that Reco, who already looks annoyed, was the last person eliminated. She says they have a lot to talk about, but they want to do it with everyone there. So she brings out the three finalists. Here's Daniella first, then Anna, then James-Paul. Kelly tells them that they'll have to wait until the end of the show to find out the winner of the show. Isaac says that they will also be awarding a judges' choice award. That person will get $10,000. Now, we're going to watch a reel of Reco's stuff. We see Haven interview that Reco is brilliant. She thinks he has a sewing machine in his brain. There's an inset shot of Reco responding and he seems pleased that she said that. There's Reco shouting at the designers that they were playing around in his profession. Oh God, there's his red Halston dress. That was a disaster. We see Glenda Bailey trashing his wedding gown.
Isaac tells Reco that he had a rabid fan base that freaked out when he got cut. Some even accused Bravo of being racist. Oh God. Reco looks like he thinks that's crazy. One comment said that the judges were on crack to keep James-Paul and eliminate Reco. Isaac jokes that Reco wrote the comment, which is also a little demeaning. He's not going to win -- just leave him alone. Fern says that she thinks they made the right decision and they must have been smoking the right stuff. This gets applause from all of the designers. Maybe Reco deserves that a little bit for being such a hot dog during the competition. Seems kinda mean though. Reco says that he made bold choices in his collection and he's happy with that. He wonders if his research went over everyone's heads. Yes, Aztec triangles went over my head, Reco. He adds that he knows "how TV works." Huh? I don't get it. What does he mean? That his collection was too cerebral? Oh God. Fern says that, as was mentioned on the show, you're only as good as your last collection. His last collection wasn't good enough. Isaac says that his collection didn't live up to the promise of his other clothes. Reco, clearly perturbed, says that he is going to be a great designer and has gotten a lot of opportunities from the show, so he's fine with being 4th. I love this tension!!
Isaac says that viewers tuned in for what the designers were making, but also for what they were wearing. Haven's shorts. Johnny's hair. Merlin's everything. There's the time Merlin was hanging out in his panties and he points out that Haven is wearing shorts too, but Marcus says Merlin's "man-berries" are hanging out. Yuck. Kelly says that she has never heard that term before. Duh, someone was sleeping in Biology class.
Cue the Daniella reel. We see Keith compliment her use of color and style. There's a Daniella meltdown in the workroom. Here's Isaac complimenting her emphasis on shoulders for her final collection. Isaac asks for a show of hands of who thinks Daniella will win. Kristin does. Marcus and Keith. Jonny D "half" raises his hand. He says that Daniella has an elusive coolness factor. Isaac thinks that warrants a full raise, so he does. Kelly reads a viewer comment that says Daniella was unfairly portrayed as a bitch. Daniella says that, as the youngest, she felt like she had to fight. Haven says that all that shit's just noise -- Daniella is a sweetheart. Fern adds that the fashion industry likes to turn everyone into a bitch. Did it work with you, Fern? Did it?
Isaac tells us that, for the final show, Merlin and Johnny created decoy lines to keep the results secret. Merlin has a Zac Efron haircut right now. Or Sally Hershberger, which is the same thing, I guess. We see his collection and -- oh my Jesus. It's so completely out there. It's a psychedelic hued Asian space-age unholy amalgamation. It's kind of amazing, but looks like he was either trying too hard or not thinking about humans ever wearing his stuff. Isaac asks Fern what she thinks and she provides some impressions -- surreal, carnival, Rio, New Orleans, Broadway. Merlin says that he has always wanted to design for Broadway. His collection was who he is, which everyone agrees with. Fern says she can't imagine anyone wanting to wear his clothes though. He replies that he would be lying to himself if he designed something else. Keith says that he admired Merlin's bravery and his collection was beautiful. Of course, he says it like he's working with the demented.
, we see Johnny's decoy collection which he says was inspired by Pebbles and Janet Jackson and Jody Watley. Kelly loves this. There are a lot of high-waisted mini skirts. I think I like it, but there's something a little bland about it. Kelly says that Pebbles never wore short stuff like that. Isaac says that he likes short. Fern says that they didn't know what they would get from Johnny after the evening gown challenge where he ripped off Lanvin. A viewer comment asked Johnny if he was ready to admit that he knocked the dress off. He is, but says it was subconscious. Fern says that all of her friends wrote to her about what a copy it was. Hmm, they still don't say what they really thought of his collection, but it seems fairly positive.
Here's the Anna reel. She says that she is the dark horse, which seems pretty true. Johnny interviews that Anna makes really commercial clothes and he can see her stuff selling. There's that floral print dress! I loved that. We see her collection again. A viewer comment asks why she thought she was the dark horse. Anna replies that she's not a "TV person" with witty comments. Isaac points out that she cries all the time. She laughs and covers her face and concedes that she does have that TV-friendly attribute. Isaac tells her to cry her head off, because he cries a lot too. It's all about you, isn't it, Isaac? He asks Keith what he thought of Anna's collection. He lo
ved it. He thought she improved on all of the designs she worked on during the show. Merlin adds that he thought Anna's collection was brilliant. Oh that's nice! Wait, she's brilliant because she ran out of ideas and knocked off herself. That's not a pretty thing to say. Anna doesn't really respond. Haven says that she felt like Anna was celebrating what she created for the show. Seven of the designers think that Anna will win. Kristin voted twice! She says that she relates more to Daniella's stuff because she's young, but she would totes wear Anna's duds when she's old. Johnny thinks that, from a business point-of-view, Anna's stuff will win.
Isaac asks Haven what she likes about shorts. She doesn't know. She likes legs. She says that it's actually a short jumper that she loves, which Isaac thinks is a reversion to childhood. She agrees. That's also why she loves Linda Evans -- it reminds her of her mom. Kelly says that Haven made her Google Linda Evans and Haven asks her if she didn't know who she was. "Oh, I knew, Boo." Best Kelly moment of the season there.
Isaac brings up when Kristin left the show. She says that she doesn't regret leaving. She doesn't think she has to explain herself. Also, she doesn't think it reflects on her as a designer. She's like, I didn't die. No, she didn't, says Isaac, but he thinks it reflects on her capacity for competition. She disagrees, but Isaac interrupts her and tells her that the show lost a demographic because she was the cute girl. Merlin's like, thanks a lot.
We see a reel of all of the designers insulting the designs of the other designers. Wow. These guys really went off. The best is Haven freaking out about Merlin's dress that was inspired by the shoes. "That's fucked up!" Isaac says that they are all nasty. Reco called a Daniella design a church hat and she called a Reco design a Sears secretary. Haven says that she loves a church hat and Isaac agrees. He also loves a Sears secretary on occasion. Isaac says that he's haunted by Jonny D's early exit. His dress wasn't that bad, but somebody had to go. Fern agrees that she would have liked to have seen more from him.
It's James-Paul time. We see him say that he's a risk taker. Understatement. There's Angel talking about how great James-Paul's style is. Merlin says that he's trying to create something fresh. There's his obsession with geometry. Gosh, I really loved his final collection. A viewer comment asks if his collection was S&M. He says that it was! A viewer asks what he was doing with the shoes in his collection. He was worried that the shoe look wouldn't be cohesive, so he put stockings over the feet! That's pretty ingenious. Isaac thought it looked like a store mannequin's feet. Several think that James-Paul will win. Angel said that his show made her want to cry. I said the same thing! Merlin thought his show was amazing.
Kelly introduces a reel where Isaac can't understand what Merlin is saying. Kelly would have to translate. That's hysterical. He says, "Five and up" for "After five!" That's amazing.
Glenda Bailey comes out to help introduce the winner. She says that she was excited by the passion of the designers. She found it difficult to give constructive criticism, because of all of the passion they showed. She encourages them to call her. She wanted to be realistic as well as constructive though. A bromide she likes is, "Good is the enemy of great." You have to be great. We see some judging moments. Veronica Webb calls something a disaster. Isaac asks who the toughest judge was. Johnny thinks that it was Rebecca Weinberg.
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We see a reel of the winning designs. Isaac asks Fern which design she thinks sold the best on the website. She goes with James-Paul's first week design, because it was so fun and contemporary. She's right. Everyone applauds. It sold out! Isaac thought Johnny's Versace dress would have sold the best. Fern asks if the designers will remain friends and everyone but Merlin says they will. Anna says that working so intensely on the show changed everything for her.
It's time for the judge award. Isaac says they thought they awarded the most sophisticated collection. It goes to Daniella! She thanks them. Anna kisses her on the cheek. Daniella says that the judges' comments mean a lot to her. Glenda says that she was impressed with Daniella's maturity, as well as her willingness to admit that she still has a lot to learn. She wants to introduce Daniella to some designers as mentors. Daniella starts crying at the news. Isaac advises her to try to hold onto her youthful vibe.
It's time for to find out how America voted! Kelly draws this shit out. They're all standing there. In third place, with 19% of the vote, is James-Paul. I was wrong. Now, a commercial break, while Anna and Daniella pee themselves. Isaac reads some comments loving the final collection of the vote. The winning designer won 56% of the vote. Isaac calls out a model, who will be wearing the winning designer's creation. It's Anna's! It's that lovely gown in blues and greens that she made for her final collection. Daniella hugs her and she looks like she's going to cry again. Fern says that this is going to be the last cry for her and she laughs that she's trying to hold back. She tells the Bravo audience that she's completely honored. This is what she needed to get her business rolling and she's completely thrilled. Good on her. Isaac says, "And that, kids, is The Fashion Show. Goodbye, Darlings." It was the fashion show, wasn't it? And, it's over. Thanks for reading, darlings!
Jeff Long loves a church hat. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com.
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