Oh, wow! I can't believe I'm recapping Family Ties! Do you think I'll get to do the episode where Alex borrows diet pills from Mallory's friend Effie and gets hooked on speed?
Wait, what?
Oh. Sorry. So what am I doing?
You can't be serious. I can't afford the Kleenex for that! Don't talk to me about my contract!
Oh, fine. I made it through Everwood; I can make it through this. Establishing shot of Moya, still in the asteroid field. Crichton blurts out, "Tell me there is some kind of sick punchline coming!" I'm glad you're getting used to having me around. Anyway, to everyone's archly and sarcastically expressed chagrin, Rygel has left the ship in one of the pods and is refusing to acknowledge their hails, and moreover, he's about to depart the asteroid field, whereupon the Peacekeepers will undoubtedly spot him. D'Argo growls something in what's presumably his own language, and after hearing it, Rygel sniffs. I'd wonder why the translator microbes suddenly took a coffee break there, but given that Chiana informs us that D'Argo said something about Rygel's corpse and a "body function," they can be forgiven for thinking it was a conversation best sidestepped. Zhaan tries an appeal to Rygel's sense of right and wrong, an "interesting" choice, and Aeryn goes with an approach that's not doomed by definition, pointing out that whatever deal Rygel may cut with the Peacekeepers, Crais will never honor it. Rygel, however, is unmoved, as he's christened himself a "Dominar of action." It may sound a little grand, but I'm sure Moya's commodes would agree.
Cut to the Peacekeeper command ship, where Crais and Scorpius are wondering about the meaning of the single unarmed transport's approach. Scorpius wonders if there are any other ships out there, but Crais answers that the only one is their own Marauder, with "the alien girl you adopted." Scorpius asks if Crais has found the security officer assigned to watch her. Hee. It's too bad we never see M'Lee again; I was kind of expecting in a future episode to see Scorpius sic her on some hapless enemy while languidly singing "The shin bone's connected to the...knee bone!" I think even the Lord would have liked that. Anyway, Crais ignores the question in favor of going back to wondering what Rygel's up to. Scorpius speculates that Rygel might want to become part of Crais's collection, as the camera pans sideways to rest on a stuffed Hynerian head on a pedestal to which I alluded last recap. I know the Moya crew members hate Crais, but I still think they might secretly allow themselves to enjoy this room a little. Crais asks if this is all just a game to Scorpius, which seems like an odd question but could refer to the fact that the end of Crais's career and perhaps his life is imminent, but Scorpius replies that he cares greatly about one thing -- the wormhole technology knowledge in Crichton's memory. Yes, I do recall picking up some very subtle cues to that being the case. Just then, some underlings enter with Rygel, Thronesled and all, in tow. Rygel intones that Scorpius and Crais want Moya, her child, the escaped prisoners, Aeryn, and especially Crichton. He goes on, "I want my freedom. Interested?" I'd say they're interested, interested, very interested...then we're in the opening credits.
Back on Moya, Crichton, surprisingly, is the only one wondering if they should really be believing the worst, asking if it's possible Rygel's stalling for them. Everyone gives him a "Just stand there and look pretty" face, not that you can blame them for doing so on any level. Crichton suggests they go over what they know, and D'Argo rumbles that the map they took from Br'nee in the last episode has allowed Pilot to plot a starburst path away from the Peacekeepers. Unfortunately, Moya's child is too young to starburst, and his weapon systems aren't developed enough to take on the Command Carrier. Crichton says he's not going to be taken alive, and that he wants to "go down swinging." D'Argo agrees, and Aeryn scoffs, "Oh, just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone!" For some reason, she sounds a little sarcastic. Crichton suggests a suicide mission -- one of them will take a transport pod laden with explosives, feign intent to surrender, and at the last second, steer the pod into the Command Carrier's nerve center. We cut away from the scene before they decide between rock-paper-scissors and one-two-three-shoot.
Rygel is dining away as Crais bites out that he's on his third helping. Rygel counters that it's for his third stomach. "That's what happens, you see. By the time it's full, the first one's empty again." Heh. Scorpius conversationally says that if he were to take Rygel back to the Gammak base and put him in the Aurora Chair, his hunger pangs would be the least of his problems. Well, that may be, Scorpy, but do you really want to sit through home movies of all the tail Rygel's scored over the years? Anyway, Rygel is unbowed, saying that his physiology won't tolerate the Chair, and Crais confirms that he'd die almost instantly. His delivery doesn't exactly suggest that he's advocating abandoning the idea, but he has been in quite a sour mood lately. Scorpius gets down to business: He'll give Rygel his freedom in exchange for Crichton, and despite Crais's protests, he deems Moya and everyone else on her irrelevant. However, in addition to his liberty, Rygel demands a ship, a qualified crew, money, a map to Hyneria, and a full pardon. We focus in on Scorpius's eyes, intense with concentration, and he realizes Rygel is lying. Interesting -- this implies that Rygel didn't plan to sell out his shipmates, but it's never mentioned what, then, his plan was, and it's kind of hard to figure. Did he intend to starve the enemy by single-handedly eating all their food supplies? Maybe Scorpius is reading into an unconscious conflict of which Rygel himself isn't aware. Scorpius orders Crais to imprison Rygel, but Rygel, in a serious tone, says that Crichton will not be taken alive. Now aware that Rygel has shifted into telling the truth, he asks if Rygel is willing to help him capture Crichton. Rygel takes a long moment...
...and then Chiana answers for him: "I will not!" Turns out D'Argo is trying to get Chiana to put some restraints on and lock herself in one of the prison cells; that way, when the Peacekeepers board, she can claim that she's not loyal to the escapees, and she only helped them on the Gammak base because they forced her to. It's a pretty lame idea, given that Chiana had numerous chances to safely betray her shipmates to the Peacekeepers if she'd been so inclined, but the point is to show D'Argo's strong concern for Chiana's welfare here. The scene gets thick with emotion as Chiana snarls, "Don't tell me how to lie. It's one of the best things I do!" I don't suppose it would be necessary for him to tell you how to have sex, either. D'Argo says she's a pain in the eema, but one he's grown to enjoy. I'm thinking Chiana can relate.
Crichton is watching Zhaan stir some lutra oil, which she says is stable until it's mixed with kronite shavings, at which point it becomes highly explosive. The mixture proves Zhaan's point by igniting, and then Zhaan and Crichton express their sorrow that their time together appears to be at an end. I can't really do justice to these goodbye scenes, but they're all tinged with enormous sadness and regret. It's probably not a coincidence that Rygel isn't around.
In his chamber, Pilot is telling a typically affectionate Aeryn that between Moya's anxiety and his own, he's in a right state. He then addresses Aeryn by her first name, and if that's not enough to get you a little choked up, you're not a human being. At least you're watching the right show. Pilot says that he and Aeryn have shared a lot in their time together, and Aeryn proves that Sebaceans aren't immune to the power of this scene, as, through tears, she agrees. Pilot says there's no need for them all to be recaptured, and points out that Aeryn still has her Prowler. I love Aeryn for admitting that the thought of flight had occurred to her, and I didn't think it was possible for me to love her more. Aeryn Sun: Helping me understand the concept of infinity. She says she's not going anywhere, and Pilot asks her if she's come up with a name for Moya's child yet. "In case something happens, she doesn't want her son named by the Peacekeepers." I'm being killed by a Muppet here. This is ignominious. Aeryn, voice breaking again, says it remains her honor to name the baby, and she'll pick a good, strong name that he'll wear proudly. She reaches out and strokes Pilot as she adds, "In freedom, if I have anything to say about it." What am I supposed to do with that? They all think they're going to die or be captured, and none of them has any idea which would be the worse fate. Unsnarkable! Aeryn tries to change the subject to the kronite shavings, but she still looks like she might start bawling at any moment.
Oh, great, Crichton's making a goodbye tape to his dad! And without an act break in between for me to go rehydrate! Crichton aborts the effort quickly, though, and then Aeryn appears and asks if his dad is anything like the man she met (in "A Human Reaction"). Crichton says the alien representation of his dad was "a little idealized," but mostly accurate. They look adoringly into each other's eyes as Aeryn tells him he's lucky -- when she was very young, her "battle-hardened, scarred" soldier of a mother told Aeryn that she was born out of love, but it seems like that's about all she ever told her. She goes on that she knows even less about her father, so Crichton slides his tape recorder toward her and tells her to leave him a message. "You never know. He might get it." They beam at each other to end the scene, and I don't care what weird part of the galaxy they're in, but them failing to kiss defies all known laws of both physics and chemistry.
On the Command Carrier, Rygel is soaking in a hot bath when he sees the stuffed Hynerian trophies and gets a little freaked. Crais then enters, and somewhat menacingly tells Rygel they need to decide his future. Rygel, too offhandedly, says that Scorpius is obviously the one in charge there, and I think Crais has proven himself predictably irascible enough that you won't be surprised to learn that he grabs Rygel's head and holds it underwater for several seconds. However, the twist is that he produces a data card, on which he claims is proof that Scorpius (whom he refers to as a "Scarran half-breed") intends to double-cross Rygel and order his slow execution as soon as Crichton is in custody. Rygel considers this, and asks why Crais is telling him. Crais confesses that the only path in his future as far as the Peacekeepers are concerned is "court-martial, incarceration, execution." He tells Rygel that he wants to survive, just as Rygel does. Rygel: "And just how do we do that?"
Sometime later on Moya, the crew has learned that Rygel is returning, and discuss how much that stinks. I mean that in the sense that they deem the situation fishy, although you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. Chiana and Pilot both report that there's no sign of Peacekeeper activity; nonetheless, Aeryn, D'Argo, Crichton, and even Zhaan bring weapons to bear on the hangar door. It opens, and Rygel imperiously Thronesleds in. Aeryn orders him to get off it and lie face down on the ground, but he easily refuses, saying he doesn't want to miss their response to what's about to happen. "And please, whatever your reaction, please don't let it include weapons fire." Hmm. Do extra-large loogies count as weapons? Anyway, Rygel's speech is all the introduction Crais needs, and the man appears at Rygel's side. Everyone's speechless except Crichton, who starts laughing. Crais: "Clearly an awkward situation." Apparently it's never too late to develop a capacity for understatement. Crais goes on that he's asked Rygel for asylum, and Rygel has granted his request. Aeryn asks why he needs asylum, but Crais says he'd prefer to answer any questions in protective custody. Aeryn has Pilot have the DRDs check the transport pod for tracking devices, and Pilot asks Chiana to reinstate the cell door functions on one of the tiers. Aeryn and Zhaan inspect Crais for weapons, and then D'Argo, the only one who hasn't spoken, goes from "simmer" to "boil" as he hits and kicks Crais to the floor, and demands that Crais tell his shipmates the truth. Crais admits that D'Argo didn't commit the crime for which he was imprisoned. "His mate was killed by someone else." Aeryn contemptuously adds that it was the wife's own brother, a Peacekeeper. In response to Crichton's disbelief that Crais knew the truth and yet kept D'Argo incarcerated, Crais says that regardless of his knowledge, only a tribunal order can release a convicted murderer. He adds that life is unfair, and they're all proof of that. Ooh, good idea -- appealing to their shared status as outcasts in an attempt to build a bond! Crichton: "If life was fair, you'd be dead." Um. Well, you can use the commercial break to go back to the drawing board.
Crichton and Aeryn put Crais in a cell, and Aeryn asks if there's anything Crais wants to say to her, but Crais thinks everything was covered when she left him for dead in the Aurora Chair. Aeryn: "Good." Hee. Aeryn tells Crichton she's going to check out the transport ship, as she still doesn't trust either Crais or Rygel. Crichton locks Crais in and glowers at him, but the menace is reduced by how scorching he is. I think he needs to slap a fake scar on his face for occasions such as these, although I could just be nostalgic for Finola Hughes's days on General Hospital. What? Crichton asks what Crais is doing there, really, but Crais tells him he thinks it would be best for him if Rygel explained Crais's position for him. Crichton can't believe it: "You're letting Rygel be your advocate?" Yes, a pompous windbag with an elevated sense of his own importance as counselor? That never happens!
Rygel has decided to warm up with the two people he's likely to have the easiest time with, Chiana and Zhaan. Rygel tells them that Scorpius is carrying Crais's mivonks around in his hip pocket, and while he has no sympathy for "that butcher," he recognizes his potential value to them. Zhaan wonders, if Crais was in for such a terrible fate, why Scorpius would have let him go, but Rygel explains that he and Crais deceived Scorpius; they told him that Crais would come to Moya under a flag of truce and convince the crew to surrender. I doubt Scorpius had much faith that this plan would work, especially given that he probably sensed that Rygel and Crais were lying, but maybe he thought it was worth even the small chance that they'd be able to bring Crichton back alive. Chiana theorizes that Crais must know what Scorpius is planning, and that could be useful to them. Zhaan concedes the point, but still isn't thrilled that Rygel went to the Command Carrier to sell them out. He says that's absolutely true (again, this conflict with Scorpius's statement is somewhat vexing) but in the end, he didn't, so they should make the most of it now. Of course, taking advantage of Crais's information doesn't preclude them throwing Rygel out of an airlock as soon as they get half a chance, but Rygel's probably got other things on his stomachs...er, "mind."
D'Argo, thinking Zhaan is within earshot, is moving some heavy containers as he asks an explosives-related question. Aeryn appears and says Zhaan didn't mention the answer, to which D'Argo counters, "Perhaps she doesn't even know." Considering it sounds like Zhaan wrote this section of the galaxy's equivalent of The Anarchist's Cookbook, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, the point of this scene (and thanks to Rygel for having arrived, which gave me a much-needed emotional break) is for Aeryn and D'Argo to say goodbye; Aeryn tells him that she relies on him now, and D'Argo expresses a similar sentiment. It's a testament to the power of the scene that I can't even bring myself to start singing "Islands In The Stream." Although somehow I think D'Argo would make a great country singer. Aeryn then changes the subject: "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet your son Jothee." I see the translator microbes are on strike again, because there's no way she could possibly mean that. They share a nice moment talking about D'Argo's fatherly influence, and then D'Argo seriously says that he always thought he'd live much longer. Aeryn smiles: "I never thought I'd live this long." And I don't think I'll live through this recap. Aeryn takes her leave, and D'Argo bellows for Zhaan.
Dressed in a pretty sweet leather jacket, the underling from last episode and the earlier scene comes in and tells Scorpius that the search team is confident of finding Moya soon. I neglected to mention this in the last recap, but the underling is actually Braca -- last episode was his first appearance. Something I also didn't mention is that the actor playing Braca, David Franklin, will be recognizable to Xena: Warrior Princess watchers as Brutus. (Hey, what can I say? Even I'd switch teams for Lucy Lawless. Also, just to be thorough, the guy who played Br'nee in the last episode, Marton Csokas, was Xena's lover Borias, but I don't think the most diehard Xena/Gabrielle 'shipper could have recognized him in that getup.) Braca reports no word from Crais, and then asks for and is granted permission to speak freely: If Scorpius suspected Crais didn't intend to return, why did he let him go? Scorpius somewhat obliquely says that we all have "windows of usefulness," which I take to mean he expects Crais to be dying on this mission one way or another. He adds that he suspects Braca's career may well be on the rise, and pats him on the arm before leaving the room. For someone who just tacitly got told a Captain's rank is in his future, Braca sure looks like he just shit his pants. Maybe that's an involuntary reaction to being touched by Scorpius.
Crichton and Crais are both sitting now, and Crichton asks Crais how he's doing. Crais wonders why he would ask, but Crichton admits that he's homesick, and desperate for "human male-to-male conversation." Leaving aside the point that Crais isn't human, I think this shows Crichton truly thinks he's going to die, and as such has decided that there's no further need nor sufficient time for grudges and acrimony. Crais seems to have reached a similar state of mind, as he asks Crichton if he thinks it's an accident that their species are so much alike. They agree that they don't know the answer to that question, and Crais says that it's one of the mysteries he will miss solving. Crichton, who's actually in tears at this point, says that being in the cell must make Crais feel his mortality, and that's the feeling they all have, all the time, with Crais chasing them. With Crichton at his most emotionally vulnerable, Crais chooses similarly to lower himself, telling Crichton that he now realizes he didn't mean to kill his brother, and the intensity between these two as each refuses to break eye contact is startlingly affecting. Crichton, his voice breaking, asks if Crais has any idea what he put them all through. Crais says he thought his actions were about his brother, but somewhere, his priorities decayed, and he became more concerned with his image and career. Crichton says that if Crais means to help them, now is the time. Man, this show. Crais has been like, the seven deadly sins in a captain's uniform from the beginning, and here he is, believably showing signs of redemption. Of course, these things take time, as we'll see. By the way, Crais may have been a douche all season, but Lani Tupu is awesome (as Pilot as well).
The crew of Moya, Crais included, is assembled, and D'Argo tells them that the transport is loaded and has enough lutra oil to cause an immense chain reaction. Crais tells them that Scorpius won't delay attacking them once he has their location, and their kamikaze plan is bound to fail -- the Command Carrier's sensors will detect the explosive content and destroy the transport well out of range. Zhaan points out that until the catalyst is added, the explosives won't be detectable, but Crais counters that the fact that the ship is so heavily weighted down will be obvious. He asks Aeryn what she thinks, and she looks at Crichton all "What exactly did you say to him?" before conceding it's a long shot, but all they have. D'Argo, however, comes up with another plan: If they send the transport on a course for the Gammak base, Scorpius will be forced to pursue and destroy it, and they can take advantage of the opening to get Moya and the baby out of there, with the baby sticking close enough to Moya to get swept along in the starburst. Of course, they take considerably more words to say all of this, but there are seven of them and not all of them are all that bright. Zhaan points out that one of them will have to fly the transport, and I'm disappointed that none of them did the finger-on-the-nose "Not it!" Rygel does, however, hilariously glide his Thronesled back, and I never said I wasn't easily amused, but I'll take it. Crais, though, says that Scorpius won't pursue the transport, because there's one thing he values more than the base. Everyone turns dramatically to regard Crichton, who looks at Crais all, "I thought we had a moment back there, CAPTAIN BRINGDOWN."
After the break, D'Argo is yelling at Aeryn and insisting that he be the one to undertake the mission. I guess maybe he figures if Scorpius doesn't take the bait, it'll be worth giving his life to destroy the Gammak base? Cut to Aeryn complaining to Zhaan that D'Argo told her she has to stay behind and deal with the baby. Woman's work is never done! Zhaan calmly says D'Argo is right, as Aeryn is the only one the baby trusts. After exposition that tells us Aeryn hasn't got a name for the baby yet (...might want to speed up the thought process there, hon) Aeryn hotly tells Zhaan that it's amazing she can be a priest -- to live in such a violent world and still keep her center is no mean feat. It is hard to live in a world where people cut off their shipmates' arms at the drop of a hat. (Hey, it's my last recap -- I had to get that in one more time.) Zhaan, however, says that the moment she committed murder, she sacrificed her right to exist; since then, she views every moment as a "generous but undeserved" gift. You'd think, then, that Zhaan would be the one to sacrifice her life to save another. I wonder how the writers missed their sole opportunity for that one? D'Argo bellows at Aeryn to bring more kronite, and Aeryn's so off her game that she complies without a word.
Oh, God, not another goodbye! Chiana finds Crichton and asks if he's really going to go with D'Argo. Crichton smiles that if he's in the transport, Scorpius will pursue it, because he wants Crichton. Chiana, her voice breaking: "Well, what if other people want you too?" Yes, what if, purely hypothetically and not applying any double meanings, other people want you too? Crichton, realizing that Chiana wants him that way, asks if what she's doing is "some weird alien send-off." Chiana says she doesn't know any other way to thank him for what he's doing, and I'm going to skip right over that lest I get extremely sad in yet another way. Crichton nicely turns Chiana down, but she grabs him and urgently tells him he saved her life, and he tells her to pass on the favor. If that sounds a lot better than "pay it forward," that's because it is. Chiana does manage to steal a kiss before Crichton takes off.
Braca comes to Scorpius and tells him that High Command has pronounced Crais "irrevocably contaminated," (is that worse than "irreversibly contaminated"?) and as such, Scorpius is in command. I'm glad to hear they're so on top of things. Braca goes on that they should be locating Moya at any moment, and Scorpius tells him in order to prevent the crew from committing "an act of desperation," they'll be attacking unannounced. It's going to be tough to launch a surprise attack from a ship that's bigger than Saturn, but like High Command said, Scorpius is calling the shots around here. And the shots are these: They're to cripple Moya to the point where she can no longer function; if the baby responds to their signals, it's to be taken into custody, otherwise, it's to be destroyed. Braca confirms that all Scorpius wants is Crichton, and Scorpius agrees that everyone else is dispensable.
So Aeryn has taken Crais over to the smaller ship, and Crais is grandly and somewhat hungrily gloating over the fact that the Peacekeeper technology was successful in creating a Leviathan-warship hybrid. Aeryn asks if that means there were other attempts to breed a ship such as this, and Crais happily agrees that there were "numerous" tries. "All ending disastrously, killing both mother and child. But now I know why." Well, I'm sure we all agree that it was worth it, then, even the Leviathan child who could probably disintegrate you right where you stand. Aeryn muses that the other Leviathans were wearing control collars, and Crais commends her on her intelligence. Of course, given that the baby would have destroyed Moya from the inside without the quick work of Pilot and Chiana, I think it's a little more complicated than that, but when Crais's ego is talking, it's hard to hear anyone else. Crais thinks that the ship will have no effect on Scorpius, no matter how it's used, which just goes to show that time can prove anyone wrong. He goes on that the fact that the ship responds to direct voice command is by design, as, although the ship can support a Pilot, they saw no need to dilute the Captain's power, the "command and response possibilities," by making that a necessity. Aeryn is unhappy to learn that the ship won't have a Pilot, and tells Crais there will be no possibilities if they don't escape from Scorpius. Well, there are possibilities concerning torture and scientific experimentation, but I think we can all agree not to dwell on those. Crais agrees that the baby will be of no use to them until he's fully grown, so Aeryn warily tells him to leave him out of their escape. It feels like she's got half an idea that Crais might be up to something. I'd suggest finding the other half, and quickly.
Rygel is stunned to learn that Crichton is leaving him his possessions should be die and asks why, prompting Crichton to call him a "soulless bastard." Rygel takes offense, and if he doesn't actually know what a soul is, he's doing a good job of faking it. Crichton, however, points out that Rygel sold them out, and Rygel admits that he was going to until he realized that Scorpius wasn't buying, and he would have been . However, although he can be selfish, given a chance, he can do the right thing. Crichton: "Rygel, I figure the right thing starts at the beginning of the day." I'm glad Crichton's never seen me when I'm out of coffee. Rygel lowers his head abjectly, and Crichton surprises him by kissing it. I'll have to remember that one. In a voice higher than his normal (but still not helium-affected), Rygel thanks Crichton, and then covers by saying, "For the possessions." Aw, Rygel's heart just grew three sizes! Hard to believe it can still fit in that little body.
We see a large spread of food as Aeryn asks Chiana why she's brought them there. Chiana says they still have half an arn before the final batch of lutra oil is ready, so she wanted to let them all know how much she appreciates everything they've done for her. I'd point out that that means her earlier statement to Crichton wasn't true, but maybe the thought of thanking Rygel in her usual way caused her to get this flash of inspiration. We see that the voices have been coming from outside the room, as Chiana leads everyone in and says she made all their favorite dishes. Aw. Everyone (even Crais) is thrilled, except for Crichton...
...because he's back giving making the tape to his dad another try. He says that before he left, his dad told him that every man has a chance to be his own kind of hero, and he doesn't figure he's ever coming home, but he thinks he knows what his dad meant; his life now is strange and different, but it's his own. At least it is until Harvey shows up. We fade to the happy feast going on as Crichton continues that he has people who rely on him and that he cares about, and are his friends. He goes on: "'I have a job to do, and I am unafraid.' That's what you said when they asked you what it was like to walk on the moon." Not to trample the moment, but if I'm a reporter at that press conference, that's where I'm like, "Come again?" He tells his dad that he taught him well, and then: "This is John Crichton. Somewhere in the universe." That somewhere being Snorflesville in the great state of YOU'RE STILL KILLING ME HERE.
Everyone is gathered in front of the transport, and Zhaan is praying to the Goddess on D'Argo and Crichton's behalf. She anoints them with something and intones, "Any blessings earned over time by my soul I now extend to you." Given that she earlier judged herself to be unworthy to live, I hope said extension is in fact limited to her good deeds. D'Argo asides to Crichton that he hates "this stuff," and Crichton tells him that "chicks love it." Rygel botches his attempt at a poignant farewell, and then Crichton asks Crais if he has any final words of wisdom. Crais tells him that Peacekeeper pilots are trained to expect evasive maneuvers, and he should fly on a direct course. Crichton looks at Crais like, "Thanks for telling me to die as quickly as possible, dick." Chiana begs D'Argo to come back to them, but her words have the opposite effect she intended, as he hands Zhaan the holo of his wife and son, telling her to make sure that Jothee remembers him. But there's a twist in the plan, as Aeryn comes up to them and tells them to be certain to get the timing right -- it appears they're going to bail out at some point and Aeryn will pick them up. Crichton already has his flight suit on, and D'Argo cautions Aeryn that he can only last a quarter of an arn in space, but she assures him she'll find them in time. That's good news -- not only are we finally going to get some action here, but it means that we won't have to add to the fifty-six heart-wrenching goodbyes already in the episode. And indeed, Aeryn and Crichton agree not to say goodbye, and he and D'Argo get on their way.
Braca reports the approach of the transport to Scorpius. Scorpius notes the vector is toward the Gammak base, but orders Braca to do nothing until he has more information, as he suspects the pilot could be Crais, or "anything." I'm not clear why he would think Crais would voluntarily be going on a suicide mission, and I'm not sure the DRDs could pilot that thing, or if they're quite loyal enough to try. But again, Scorpy's the one with the leather hood. People with those tend to dominate...wait, that's not right.
D'Argo is telling Crichton that once they inject the oil into the largest canister, it will set off a chain reaction, and Crichton asks how long Zhaan said they'll have to get out. D'Argo: "She was vague to the point that I suspect that she doesn't have a clue." Well, she is a religious type. Pilot makes contact and tells them "Peacekeeper voice traffic" indicates that they're aware of the transport's presence and destination, but there's no indication of pursuit. However, that is sure to change, as we cut to Braca telling Scorpius that preliminary scans show "the Luxan and the human" to be aboard the transport. Scorpius looks chagrined, probably that Crichton is putting his life in jeopardy, and tells Braca to pursue, and to alert the base to the possibility of an attack. Braca doesn't really see the urgency, but Scorpius hisses, "Do it!" Get him any more pissed and that electronic voice is going to come out again.
Crichton asks how D'Argo's doing. D'Argo: "I have to pee." Hee. They both giggle.
On Moya, Zhaan reports that the Peacekeepers are moving away. Chiana, however, says they don't have enough room to pull off their leave-the-field-and-starburst plan yet, and besides, they have to give Aeryn sufficient time to rescue Crichton and D'Argo. Rygel still wants to go, but Zhaan impatiently shushes him, and then asks Pilot to make sure the baby understands where he has to be in order to be sucked along in the starburst. Pilot assures her he will, and then we linger on an ambiguous-looking Crais.
Scorpius gives his Prowlers a "direct, inviolate order" that the occupants of the transport are to be taken alive. He doesn't add that anyone who screws up will inviolately have his small intestine ripped out through his throat, but they're Peacekeepers. They know.
Crichton and D'Argo bicker a bit, and then D'Argo tells Crichton to arm the kronite shavings. Cut to Aeryn, monitoring them and urging them to get on with it. Pilot reports that the baby isn't responding to his entreaties, and Aeryn suggests that he call him by his name. She wells up just a bit as she goes on, "It's Talyn. It was my father's." I held off mentioning the name to do full justice to Aeryn's reveal there. I think it was worth all the extra letters I had to type.
Braca reports that an explosive device aboard the transport has just been armed. Doesn't it seem inefficient to have Braca running in and out to keep updating Scorpius? I know Scorpius looks imposing in the chair, but you'd think if he wants Crichton that badly, he could stand in front of a tactical display for ten minutes. Scorpius gives props to Crichton for the plan, unhappily musing that if Crichton ignites the oil surface of the moon, they'll have to abandon the base, yet he can't risk destroying the knowledge in Crichton's brain. "And he knows that!" Of course, if Crichton intends to die in the explosion, as it appears, Scorpius should just kill him and save the base, but regardless, he'd probably give a guttural electronic Scarran curse, so it's just as well he does so here.
As the transport approaches the moon, D'Argo and Crichton have finished their preparations, and D'Argo says it's time to go. Crichton asks why he's not afraid. D'Argo: "Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty." Crichton smiles: "I love hangin' with you, man." That'll be convenient if you both get captured. Crichton gives D'Argo his dad's good-luck ring-on-a-chain, and D'Argo kisses it before they head for the exit. Crichton dons his helmet and compares them to "Kirk and Spock, Abbott and Costello," before hitting the eject button and sending them out into space. It's too bad he didn't have time to mention Siegfried and Roy, because then we would have been getting somewhere. Anyway, the two of them hurtle toward the camera, and then Zhaan urgently yells for Aeryn to retrieve them. Crichton communicates with Aeryn, who's picking up his transmission but can't see him yet. She asks how D'Argo is, and D'Argo gives Crichton a jaunty thumbs-up. He's not going to be nearly as cheerful when the contents of his bladder turn to ice. Just then, the transport reaches its destination and spectacularly ignites the entire surface of the moon. Everything seems great for a moment, until Pilot reports that someone has boarded Talyn. Rygel: "It's Crais." Hey, you brought him back, short stuff. Unaware that anything's wrong, Crichton gloats to (I think) the base, "John Crichton was here." Shall we wait until after the commercial break to ruin his mood?
Vox populi, vox Dei. Crichton asks Aeryn where she is, as D'Argo is only semi-conscious now. Aeryn says that she can see them, but there are too many other Prowlers around, and if she swings in to pick them up, they'll be sure to notice and shoot them all down. Meanwhile, Pilot reports that Talyn has broken away from Moya. And over there, Crais orders Talyn deeper into the asteroid field, where the debris is densest. Aeryn and Crichton hear this, as do the Moya crew members, and Rygel asks him what the heck he's doing. Crais gloats that he's saving himself, and despite Aeryn's shouted orders for him to leave Talyn, he refuses, cheerily saying that assuming she survives, he hopes that when they meet, their relationship will be much different. I don't doubt that that will be the case, Crais -- it's just a question of whether you'll remain alive to see it. Aeryn wails that he can't separate a child from its mother, but Crais blithely points out that that was done to both of them. Crais bids Aeryn goodbye and takes Talyn into the field, much to everyone's deep chagrin. Chiana then sees that the Command Carrier is returning, and Crichton urges them to starburst immediately. Zhaan doesn't want to leave him and D'Argo, and Rygel co-signs that, but Crichton tells him that this "is not the time to give up selfishness." Heh. Chiana points out that Aeryn isn't back either, but Aeryn says she's not leaving D'Argo and Crichton. D'Argo, for his part, would be humming the Jeopardy! theme music at this point if he were fully conscious.
Aeryn orders Pilot to starburst, but Pilot reports that they now can't -- Moya won't leave without Talyn, as she fears that he doesn't understand what he's doing by listening to Crais. Crichton begs Moya to hear him -- they all care about Talyn, and have gone to great lengths not only to save themselves but also him and her. We see a montage of the crew and the ship's corridors as Crichton continues that the only hope to rescue Talyn is for Moya to save herself first. He thanks her for everything, and tells her to do what she has to do. For not really being able to give Moya much in the way of tangible characteristics, the show certainly does a good job of developing the relationships between her and her charges. Chiana, in a panic, says that in fifteen microts, they won't be able to escape, but just then, Moya powers up and initializes starburst. Rygel throatily whispers a goodbye, and then the ship is gone. D'Argo passes out, Aeryn reports that she still can't get to Crichton, and Crichton wearily responds that it may not matter, as D'Argo's unconscious. Aeryn tries to keep her face from shattering, and then we see D'Argo let Crichton's dad's ring slip from his grasp. It floats away, and ironic triumphant music plays as Crichton grasps D'Argo's hand into the cliffhanger ending.
And what an ending to an amazing last stretch of the season! And speaking of endings, this concludes my recapping run for this show, which I couldn't have enjoyed more. Thanks to the 'Scapers for picking me for the charity auction ages ago, because I never would have volunteered to recap this show otherwise. And damn you all for making me care about Muppets!