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A kid named Eli is "sick" and goes to Anne for medical care, but it turns out it's all a ruse! His mom and dad want to break off from the resistance and need some goods to trade, so they're robbing the pharmacy. Anne, who has killed a Skitter with her bare hands, is not afraid of some balding douchebag and so tries to fend him off, but to no avail. It's not long, however, before Weaver, Tom and Mike catch up to him. There's a standoff, and then a third party enters, telling Eli's dad to drop his weapon or die. It's an effective tactic. Turns out this silver-haired fox who just saved the day is Terry Clayton of the 7th Mass. He knows Weaver, Tom and Mike, and delivers the unfortunate news that the 7th Mass is gone. Skitters hit them hard, and are coming toward the 2nd Mass . Terry says that the Skitters took all their kids, and then the Mechs open fired on everyone else. About eight fighters and six civilians escaped, and they're holed up on a relatively secluded farm nearby. The Skitters have swept the area twice, so Terry thinks that they're safe for a while.
Terry reports that Porter thinks the aliens are stepping up their hunt for slave labor, e.g. kids, and so have been sweeping the area. The nearby 3rd Mass is in immediate danger, and Porter has ostensibly ordered them to join up with the 2nd Mass so that everyone can move to a safer location together. Terry says that the 2nd Mass should hold their position until their counterparts join them in about 72 hours. That's a long time to wait out a Skitter attack, and so Terry says that Porter ordered all the kids under 20 to go ahead with him, to the farm. It's safer! OR IS IT? Um, spoiler. Tom is not so into this idea, and even less into Weaver's order for him to convince the civilians to go with it. Needless to say, everybody is kind of on edge when they hear the rumors about the attack and the plan to send their kids off to some farm with a fine-seeming, but potentially nefarious stranger!
Meanwhile, Maggie gives Anne a gun. After the attempted robbery, she figures a weapon might be useful. Anne is unsure at first, but eventually takes Maggie up on her offer of a shooting lesson. And there's Ben, doing a whole bunch of push-ups and bonding with Matt. The spikes in his back aren't going away, and he doesn't seem to mind. He tells Matt that in some bizarro alien way the Skitters cared about the harnessed kids, and were like family. Sometimes he still misses that. Or he misses all the drugs that were continuously being pumped into his system. Hal overhears all this, and starts to get a little worried that Ben is like a different kid. He tells Anne that, in addition to some personality differences, Ben used to be a weakling but now can do 100 pushups without breaking a sweat. The Skitters were totally on the cutting edge of the childhood obesity epidemic.
As the 2nd Mass fighters build barricades and prepare to move, Tom wrestles with his feelings about sending the kids ahead and questions his own motivations for wanting to keep them around. Meanwhile, Jimmy wants to be put back into combat rotation. Weaver, who despite his crustiness has a soft spot for the little fighter, tells him to accompany Parker, who's on watch that night. Jimmy and Parker play chess in a burned out old school bus, but it isn't long before a Mech finds them and fires. Parker is dead, and the Mech is close to getting Jimmy when some other soldiers attack it from atop the bus. Jimmy escapes and runs into a deserted part of the school, where he gets trapped behind a locked door and a Skitter attacks him. After warding off the Mech, Tom and Weaver finally hear Jimmy's cries from inside the school. Jimmy fights the Skitter, and for a while distracts him by throwing him an earth-patterned beach ball. Happily, Weaver gets there just in time to kill the Skitter and save Jimmy. Jimmy is in major shock, which is helped a little by a big Weaver hug.
Terry convinces Weaver that this Skitter/Mech incident means that more Skitters will be on their way. Weaver is coming around to the farm plan, and Tom is as well. Meanwhile, some guy is totally prejudiced against Ben in the food line! Hal tells him off but good. This prompts Ben to tell Tom that he wants to go ahead with Terry, since the others won't be able to fight as well if the Skitters attack and kids are around. He busts out a historical parallel, which shows why he was always Tom's favorite. Tom announces to the civilians that he's sending his kids with Terry, and that they'll have a security detail with them. Everyone has an hour to get their kids packed. Hal wants to go with Terry as well, so he can repair his relationship with Ben as well as look out for him. He could give two shits about Matt, apparently.
Terry shows Tom how to find the farm on the map, and he and the kids take off. And then Tom and Anne hold hands and snuggle for a minute! Oh my God! Oh, and THEN. Terry directs the kids through a woodsy path, which Hal notes is not the route drawn on the map. Terry is like, "Oh whatever, ha ha, nothing suspicious to see here!" Hal's response is basically, "Duh, okay." They make it to the Hidden Frontier Ranch, which does look pretty awesome. Terry instructs everyone to go to bed, which is weird since it's still daylight. Someone who tells you to go to bed at 6:00 p.m. can't be trusted!
And THEN. At night, Terry sneaks through the farmhouse and into a room where we find Eli, the kid whose parents tried to rob the pharmacy at the beginning of the episode. He wants to see his mom and dad, like he was promised. Terry says Eli can see them right now. They walk through a path in the woods, where a teenaged girl with crazy eyes awaits them. She introduces herself as Megan and tells Eli that she can take him to his family. But Eli is no fool, and once he gets a look at her glowing Skitter harness he's like, "No thanks, I'm all set." But alas! A Mech shoots him unconscious and a Skitter approaches his body. Then Megan (who is presumably speaking for the Skitter) gives Terry hell for being late, and asks him how many he's gotten. He says, "Enough." DUDES! Megan confirms that Terry will bring more in two days and he says, "That's the deal." A deal with the alien devil!
And THEN! Terry goes to visit his prisoner…Mr. Chef Pope. Yay! Except for that it was Pope who gave up the location of the 2nd Mass, and thus doomed a whole lot of kids to eventual zombie imprisonment. D'oh! Pope, in shackles, trembles with rage and we're out!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open with Dr. Anne Glass tending to a young boy named Eli, who has a Blue Hills Ski Area patch on his bag. Hey, I've been there! Not to ski, though. Two words: Sonny Bono. Anyway, Eli opens up and says "Ahhhh" as his parents hover. Anne asks when Eli started to feel bad, and Eli shrugs his shoulders. His dad pipes in and says that it's been a couple of days, and that Eli hasn't been eating or sleeping. Anne is all, "Who really is eating or sleeping all that well?" but in a nice, pediatric way. Lourdes is in the room, but soon heads out to get batteries for a lantern on the fritz. Uncle Scott has the batteries as well as a stash of candy, and Eli requests Gummi Bears.
Eli's mom scurries after Lourdes and shuts the door behind her, even though Anne tells her that's not necessary. Anne starts giving her diagnosis -- which basically is that Eli is totally fine -- but is interrupted when she turns around to find a gun pointing at her. At the end of that gun is a hand belonging to Eli's dad. That's so whack! He tells Anne to shut up and then tosses a bag to her, which she is supposed to load with antibiotics, painkillers, and anything else she's got. Anne tells him no, because it took months to get that stuff and people are depending on it. But Eli's dad isn't there to argue. He shoves her around a bit and tells her to hurry up, not finding solidarity in the fact that they are both wearing dirty flannel shirts.
Anne asks why he's doing this, and Eli's dad says that a Skitter killed a man in the very room where he's robbing her. This psycho's got a point. He also thinks it's weird that there are kids walking around with spikes in their back and everyone is pretending its normal. And, if you're judging by Rick, he's got another point. Round one to Eli's dad. He basically says that they're fucked if they stay with the 2nd Mass, and then yells at Anne to hurry up. She points out that he could leave anytime he wants, and no one's going to stop him. In fact, they'll be grateful for his share of soggy oatmeal. Eli's dad says that it's the Wild West out there, and if they get into trouble they're going to need something to trade. And now I have both The Escape Club's and Kool Moe Dee's versions of "Wild Wild West" permanently stuck in my brain. Before I can decide which song is superior (and really, why choose?), Anne starts to hand the bag full of pharmaceuticals over to Eli's dad, but surprise! She chucks a tray full of stuff at him and starts to run. Despite having the frame of a weakling, Eli's dad is surprisingly swift and intercepts her. He is also not afraid to hit a woman. His wife tells him that this is enough, and that he shouldn't hurt Anne. He grabs the bag of drugs, tells Anne he's sorry, and the whole family runs out the door. Anne wishes she was headin' for the 90s as we cut to the opening credits.
Eli's family runs through the deserted streets of Acton, with Weaver, Tom and Mike hot on their tail, wielding guns. Weaver says that this is what happens when people lose focus -- they get careless. Tom interjects to say there's no way Anne could have seen this coming and Weaver is all, "I'm talking about you, dumb-ass." He points out that civilians are Tom's responsibility, and notes that the longer this hostile alien takeover goes on, the more desperate people are going to get. On cue, Eli's dad fucking shoots at the three of them, and yells to leave his family alone. Mike is ready to blast him, but Tom tells him to hold his fire since they've got a kid with them. If Tom weren't so interested in keeping little kids alive, this whole operation would be going a lot smoother. Weaver is not about to let Eli's family go unless they give the drugs back. Eli's dad gets mondo crazy face and shoots at them again, while his wife wonders if divorce court is still operational in this post-apocalyptic world.
And then there's a shot that comes from neither Eli's dad nor our 2nd Mass soldiers! It's a suave, silver-haired dude that comes up from behind Eli's dad and tells him to drop the bag of drugs or die. Put in those unequivocal terms, Eli's dad decides to listen to reason. He drops the gun and says he just wants to get the hell away from there. The silver-haired fox is all, "Surrender the drugs, and don't let the door hit you in the ass when you leave." Weaver yells to find out who the heck this mysterious cowboy is, and he announces himself as Terry Clayton of the 7th Mass. He asks if Weaver is, in fact, Weaver. Weaver, as you know, is Weaver. Is your mind blown yet? Anyway, this guy clearly knows Weaver. As Eli's dad decides what to do about the ultimatum, his wife proves the stereotype that women are a lot smarter and more sensible by taking the bag and giving it to Clayton as they run off. Overall, I'd say that Eli's dad could have thought out that plan a little better.
Weaver shakes hands with Clayton -- who would totally be played by George Clooney in the movie version -- and says it's good to see him. Mike and Tom know Clayton, too, and Tom notes that he's a long way from home since the 7th Mass was holding tight outside of Wilmington. Clayton gets a sad, squinty look on his face (squinty = military dude emotion!) and says, "We were. The 7th Mass is gone." Gone! The Skitters hit them hard, and they're coming this way . Despite his heroic entrance, Terry Clayton is not a bearer of good news. Back inside the school, Tom, Mike and Weaver get the rest of the story. Clayton's second-in-command, Phillips, grabbed his daughter Megan and tried to pull her back, but another Skitter came up behind him. The rest of the tale is too gruesome to be spoken, I guess. Once the Skitters had all of their kids, they opened up. Clayton ran, and still hasn't been able to forgive himself for it. That makes him one step better than Dr. Wings. OR DOES IT? (Spoiler: OR IS IT?)
Eight fighters and a half-dozen civilians from the 7th Mass got away, and kept moving until they holed up at a secluded farm located in a valley. Skitters have swept the area twice, so Clayton & Co. think they're in the clear for a while. He points out their location on the map. Weaver asks why Clayton thinks the Skitters are coming to the 2nd Mass, and he says that he established contact with Porter last week, who thinks that the aliens are stepping up construction on their structures and need more slave labor. He points out the nearby areas where Skitters have been sweeping through, using small patrols of one Skitter and one Mech to identify a target and then come back full force. Clayton says that their orders are to regroup. OR ARE THEY? The 3rd Mass is located right between the 2nd Mass and the last attack, and happens to be running low on fighters. They won't be able to survive on their own, so Porter has ordered them to join up with the 2nd Mass. OR HAS HE?
The 2nd Mass is also ordered to hold their position until the 3rd Mass can join them, and then everyone will pull out together. They should get there in about 72 hours. Tom notes that three days is a long time to sit tight with an imminent Skitter attack, and Clayton says Porter agrees. That's why they're supposed to send anyone under twenty along with him. Say what now? Yes, you heard him right. Tom is all, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Clayton?" Clayton says they'll be safer at the farm, and if the 2nd Mass has to engage they won't have to worry about the kids. After the 3rd joins up with the 2nd, all the adults can head to the farm and then everyone will find a new place to live. Maybe it will be like Watership Down and such a place really exists. Perhaps a crotchety yet friendly seagull will help them on their journey. Tom has instincts like Fiver, and says that he's not ready to give his kids up. There's a dog loose in the woods! Clayton says he's just conveying the order. OR IS HE? Okay, you get the point.
Weaver orders Mike to double up on perimeter security, and Dai is assigned to bike recon. Tom's job is to talk to the parents and start preparing them, just in case. He says that nobody's going to go for this, and Weaver tells him that he's not dragging anybody's kid away yet, but if patrols say that an attack is imminent, a head start can save lives. He wants Tom to explain that to people; Tom notes that he's not exactly impartial and Weaver points out that that makes him perfect for the job. Tom gets a look of, "You've gotta be shitting me," and we head to commercials.
When we return, Dai's heading out to do some recon while the rest of Tom's crew and Clayton go about the business of preparing for a quick evacuation. Moving is such a pain in the ass, isn't it? Tom is stopped by a guy who's like, "Wot's all this, then?" about the rumor that all kids will be sent ahead. Tom says that hasn't been decided, and Anthony gets his signature one argumentative line of the episode, saying that maybe somebody should decide it. Just like when he wanted to shoot all the zombie kids, Anthony takes a pretty straightforward view of the world. Kids are targets for Skitters, and luck has been in short supply, he says. Only the childless can see things clearly in a post-apocalyptic world where kids are a hot alien commodity. It's why I'm hell bent on keeping my womb as barren as possible. Just in case!
After the others have dispersed, Hal notes to Tom that people are pretty fucking freaked out. That's on top of their general level of freaked out at being human refugees in an alien-controlled world. Tom blames Anthony for stirring the pot, when really the dude was just using his ability to reason, even if we may later learn (of course! As always!) that Tom's instinct is right. He orders whoever is around to start building some barricades. I don't know how that will help if the Skitters bomb them from above, but at least it gives people something to do.
Meanwhile, Dr. Anne Glass has a split lip and is giving Maggie some meds for Sarah, the pregnant lady. Maggie points out that Sarah is a good kid (kid?), but picked a hell of a time to be nine months pregnant. She denies that they're GOOD friends (and eventual lady loves?), and then says that Sarah could have come to the clinic herself except for the fact that she didn't need to get freaked out by seeing Anne in her current split-lipped state. I mean, it's not like she got a cheekbone punched out. Maggie is impressed that Anne fought back, or at least tried. She says that when you take it lying down it does something to your head, and it's hard to come back from that. She knows that, on account of all the unspeakable things that Pope's gang did to her. Maggie then lightly tosses a gun on Anne's desk, saying she'll feel better just knowing it's around. And if it conflicts with some sort of Hippocratic Oath, she can stitch the bad guy up after she blasts him. Anne looks wary as Maggie tells her that if she needs a shooting lesson, she's around.
Meanwhile, the Mason brothers are hanging out. Or, rather, Matt and Ben are hanging out while Hal tries to sleep. Matt is in awe of the fact that Ben just did 102 pushups like it wasn't even a thing. He points out that some of the other formerly harnessed kids said their spiky back nubs went away. Ben's haven't, though, and he says that maybe it's because the others weren't there as long as he and Rick were. Rick must have been there the very longest, on account of how he's jonesing to get back to the Skitter sleep nest with his zombie pals. Matt wonders if the spikes still hurt. Ben, who I think is secretly Canadian, says that they did at first, but now he doesn't really notice them unless he leans the wrong way or bends into something. Matt wants to touch one, and when he does Ben goes into spasms of pain. But it's all a joke, because underneath it all Ben is a dick like everyone else in that family. If Matt's innocent mop top inquisitiveness is making you doubt that he's the biggest dick of all, just remember the skateboard.
Matt asks Ben what it was like living with the Skitters. I imagine like an episode of The Partridge Family, but they're a band of scrap metal collectors instead of a musical act, and the part of Reuben Kincaid is played by a Mech. Skitters CAN feel your heartbeat, when you didn't even say a word. And I must digress for a moment to note that holy balls, did I love The Patridge Family. Because my name is Tracie, I used to imagine that I was in fact Tracy Partridge, who in retrospect was the original harnessed zombie kid. Bang that tambourine with blank-eyed precision until the scrap metal falls off of it, little one! And now I have discovered that all four seasons of The Partridge Family are available on Netflix. If that shit were available for streaming, rest assured that this recap would end here.
Okay, where was I? Oh yes, I was going to point you in the direction not of Albuquerque, but of this priceless performance of the (for real, seriously) rockin' hit "Bandala," which features a Black Panthers horn section. And what the fuck is this Clockwork Orange shit? It's no wonder I turned out the way I did, man. I had Partridge Family trading cards, is all I'm saying. I actually think I still have them somewhere. And I watched this shit in reruns!
Okay, anyway, the show I'm actually getting paid to write about. Matt asks Ben what it was like living with the Skitters, and if they talked to him. Ben says that when you're harnessed, you don't exactly have your own thoughts, or at least you're not thinking like you normally do. Because you're on morphine, duh! It's more like someone is thinking with you. Hal's eyes pop open and he listens with some trepidation as Ben recalls the time when they went camping with their dad, and Matt was hungry and thirsty and his stomach hurt. In other words, when Matt was ruining the trip like usual. Ben tells Matt to imagine that Tom knew everything he wanted, before he even asked for it. I'm sure it wouldn't have done any good, because instead of actually giving him what he wanted, Tom would have brought up a historical parallel about how Attila the Hun wanted something but didn't get it, or whatever. Matt asks Ben if he was scared. Ben says that when he was first caught, he had never been more afraid in his life. But then the drugs kicked in and it was kind of cool. Matt asks if Ben missed them, and Ben says he doesn't know. In some bizarro alien way, he says, it seemed like the Skitters cared about them. They weren't monsters, they were family. Though it sounds weird, sometimes Ben still misses them. Matt's mind is totally blown right now, and Hal is wondering if eventually he's going to have to shoot his own brother.
After a break, the same guy who approached Tom about the kid situation is in the medical ward with his daughter, who's getting her arm wrapped by Anne. He says that he's not sure who's scarier -- the Skitters or Weaver. Anne totally doesn't have the time for douchebaggery. As he says that nobody's taking his daughter away from him, he wanders back toward the door. Anne yells at him to get away. Mild PTSD! He means no harm there. After he and his daughter leave, Hal enters. He hems and haws for a while, and Anne tells him that because of the Hippocratic Oath or whatever, anything he tells her will stay between them. Hal tells her that something's up with Ben. He's not acting like himself. For example, he did 100 pushups without breaking a sweat, whereas before he was a total weakling. That's what carrying all that scrap metal will do for a person. It's the new fitness craze! I'm sure that Jillian Michaels will have a DVD out soon. Hal says that before, Ben was his bratty little brother who was twice as smart as him. Now he's not exactly like a grown-up, but more like a different kid. In good ways, it seems, so why complain?
Tom and Anne see some little kids playing outside and celebrate the fact that the alien invasion has meant the downfall of video games. That's hilarious commentary coming from a show in which 35% of the airtime is dedicated to people shooting aliens with automatic weapons or vice versa. Tom apologizes for not coming by last night to check on Anne's busted lip. Or her "busted lip." Reow! She tries to introduce the topic of Ben seeming different, but Tom is too busy contributing to the alien barricade to really pick up on it. He says that the barricade won't keep off an attack, but can buy time for escape. Anne then brings up Clayton's offer. Tom admits that he doesn't know if he's resisting because he wants to protect his kids, or if he's being selfish because he wants to keep them close. Anne starts to urge him to trust his instinct, but Tom isn't sure what his instinct is actually telling him.
Meanwhile, Clayton, Weaver and Anthony lament the lack of manpower to adequately cover perimeter patrols. On cue Jimmy, the only person so far who tried to call bullshit on Lourdes, enters and asks to be put back in rotation. Anthony tells him that there's plenty of non-combat work to be done, but that doesn't interest Jimmy. He says he's not like all the other kids -- he can take care of himself. As he's about to give up, Weaver says that Parker's all alone on the south post and could use some company. Jimmy is stoked, in a subdued and professional manner. Clayton notes that he's a good kid, and Weaver replies that he should be in junior high school with his arm around a cheerleader, and not about to be traumatized for life.
Lourdes refills some supplies in the medical room, and tries to give Anne some comfort. But you know what's most comforting of all? Having the ability to put a bullet in a bastard. Anne takes Maggie up on her offer of a tutorial on the shooting range. And not to get all Maxim on you guys, but these two really would make a hot couple. Anne starts off with some trepidation, and Maggie tells her that nobody said it was easy -- at least not the first time. She then instructs Anne to imagine that someone or something is coming at her, and that someone she loves is about to be...and she doesn't even get to finish that sentence, because Anne shoots and scores the respect of Maggie. Anne is impressed with herself and rather exhilarated, even if her aim isn't so great. Maggie tells her that in a couple of months it will be as comfortable as a credit card. She whips out her own weapon and hits their target tree with no further ado. She adds, "Don't leave home without it," and the two ladies crack up even though this is not at all funny. But if that's their version of foreplay, I'll take it.
Back inside the school, Clayton has decided to talk to the civilians himself in a darkened gymnasium. Never have bleachers seemed more menacing! That one pain in the ass guy says that Clayton has everyone thinking that their kids are the enemy, and Clayton is all, "No that's what YOU have them thinking, pigfucker." Clayton is trying to get them to think of the safety of their own kids. OR IS HE? Things get a little heated and Tom enters. The pain in the ass guy addresses the crowd, acknowledging that a lot of them have lost their kids, and adding that his heart breaks for them. But he wants them to imagine that they still have their kids, and asks if they would let anyone take them away. Tom goes to his standard line, which is that nothing has been decided yet. He says that everyone wants the same thing -- for the kids to be safe. The pain in the ass guy points out that safety is a thing of the past, since anyone could die at any time. If that day comes, he wants to be by his daughter's side. Tom points out that this is about survival, and then the pain in the ass guy looks like he's about to draw a gun. Tom tells him not to forget who the enemy is. He adds that everyone has had to make hard choices to get this far, and will make more. But if they fall apart and start turning on each other, then they've already lost. The increasingly mellow pain in the ass asks who decides what will happen if the Skitters attack. Tom says that he will. I'm sure Weaver will love to hear that. It also means that everybody will get to blame Tom when things go horribly awry.
After a break, Jimmy heads out to hang with Parker on an abandoned school bus. To paraphrase Aerosmith, Jimmy's got a gun. And what better place to wave it around then in this menacing setting! Jimmy notes that the atmosphere is super creepy, and Parker says that's the feeling of Skitters coming their way. That's the post-apocalyptic version of, "Pull my finger." Jimmy tries to make a comeback, but saves his real stores of machismo for a chess game with Parker, in which he threatens checkmate in three. As Parker goes to make his move, there is stomping and shaking. That can only mean one thing: a Mech! It comes straight for the bus and starts shooting its big laser pointer. Tom and all the parents can hear the shooting from inside the school, and the pain in the ass guy freaks out and yells, "They're heeeeeeeeere!" I wish that guy would stifle for a minute or two. Tom orders everyone to stay inside unless they get the order to move, and heads out with some fighters.
We return to the school bus, which is now more fog-filled than ever. The chess board is covered with broken glass and blood, and Parker is dead. Jimmy is crouched by his body, and increasingly terrified. And he should be! A big light shines in the window, and the bus starts rocking, and then a Mech claw starts tearing away the side of the bus. Just as Jimmy is about to bite it, the Mech is distracted by gunfire aimed its way. It's two fighters perched on top of the bus. Jimmy takes advantage of the shoot-out and escapes through the back of the bus. Inside, Weaver, who realizes that the shooting is coming from Jimmy's post, joins up with Tom, and they run toward the action.
But! Jimmy has made it inside the school building, but he's apparently in a wing that no one inhabits. He screams that there is a Mech, but there is no reply. He stands in a stairwell to catch his breath, and from behind we see the shadow of a big, creepy crawly thing. Oh shit, man. Jimmy tries to get through a set of doors and enter a part of the building where there actually might be people, but they are secured with a big chain. Still, because he's a small fry, he manages to squeeze his way through the tiny opening. And then! A Skitter hand reaches through the door and grabs him around the neck. Despite having only three fingers, those bastards have a firm grip.
Tom, Weaver, Mike and Clayton finally make it to the bus, only to discover that Jimmy's not there. Back inside, Jimmy shows the pluck of Huck as he pulls out a gun, points it behind his head, and shoots at the Skitter. The Skitter rears back for a minute and lets go of Jimmy's neck, but still has a firm grasp of his foot. Back outside, the Mech retreats and as the gunfire ceases Tom and Weaver finally hear Jimmy's cries for help. They head inside and split up, while Jimmy tries to evade the Skitter and reload his gun. Somehow, Jimmy ends up chucking a globe at the Skitter. (You know, a globe of the Earth.) The Skitter holds it in its claw and studies it for a minute, looks at Jimmy and hisses, and then crushes it. Okay, we got it. Jimmy tries to shoot, but his gun is out of bullets. He chucks it at the Skitter, and then there is a blast. Weaver has shot the Skitter from behind! It lies in a big, slimy, leggy puddle on the floor. Jimmy, meanwhile, is in some major shock. He hugs Weaver, who is first taken aback, but whose heart then grows ten sizes as he tells Jimmy it's going to be all right.
After a break, Jimmy tells his tale rapid-fire to Weaver and Anne, who's tending to his bumps and bruises. Tom and Clayton enter, and tell Weaver that there have been no more sightings of Skitters or patrol ships yet. Weaver knows they dodged a bullet, at least long enough for the 3rd Mass to get to them. Clayton says that this is exactly how things went down with the 7th Mass, and that they've got about as long as it takes the Skitters to figure out their soldier isn't coming back before a whole gang of aliens comes their way. Weaver says that, since the Skitter attack isn't theoretical anymore, they need to reconsider sending the kids to the farm. Tom knows, and rather looks like he's coming around to the plan.
Meanwhile, in the mess hall, Ben is peacefully trying to get a granola bar when some dickhead harasses him. The dickhead goes, "I'm not standing in line with this razorback. The ones like him are the reason the Skitters are coming." Did he really just call Ben a razorback? That's worse than Muggle, dude. Maggie sees this action from across the gym and heads over to prevent Ben from getting an ass-kicking. Hal accompanies her, and gives the guy a hearty shove. The guy says he doesn't have a problem, but he's not a fan of the whole "bringing harnessed kids back to the 2nd Mass" thing. He says it's just inviting a Skitter attack. Hal counters that they're going to rescue as many kids as they can, and notes that anybody who messes with his family gets their asses kicked by Hal personally. The guy is super-smirky, but also backs down. Ben walks away while Maggie looks concerned.
Ben goes to see Tom, who's hanging out alone in a classroom. He's looking for a necklace that belonged to Ben's mom, to make sure it doesn't get lost in the move. Ben tells Tom that he wants to go with Clayton to the farm. He knows that the 2nd Mass has to be ready to fight if the Skitters come, and they can't do that with kids around. As it happens, Ben really IS related to Tom and so has been thinking of a historical parallel -- World War II during the blitz. The English sent their kids to the country to keep them safe while Germans bombed the heck out of London. Tom, in a radical move when it comes to his view of historical parallels, isn't sure that this is the same thing. Ben points out that nothing is. They're in a post-apocalyptic alien war, which is a bit of a different context. Tom wants to ask Ben a question, and wants him to respond truthfully. He asks if Ben is happy that he's back. Ben says that of course he is, and asks Tom if he's glad that he found him. Tom, always a fan of a really cheesy line, says, "More than you'll ever know." Ben replies, "Then let's do this for you." What does that even mean?
In any event, Tom enters the gym and announces that he's decided to send Matt and Ben along with Lieutenant Clayton. It will put the kids a few hours ahead of whatever else is coming, and, as Martha would say, that's a good thing. The 3rd Mass should be there tomorrow, and if everything goes according to plan they'll reunite with the kids that night. The pain in the ass guy points out that they just got hit by a Skitter, and asks Clayton how they'll get through if there are more out there. Clayton says that they're a small group on foot, and will be way under the Skitter radar. Tom announces that they'll also have a security detail. He assigns O'Brien and Fuller, and Clayton requests that Mike comes with them as well. The Skitters aren't after the teeny tiny kids, but the rest will go because, as Tom says, they're the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Nine-months pregnant Sarah looks on, likely ruminating upon her excruciatingly bad timing. Tom tells everyone to pack up the kids, and that they'll leave in an hour.
Despite the fact that it totally dark in the gym, it's like mid-afternoon outside. Hal approaches Ben, who's looking at a picture of all three boys with Tom and Rebecca at Six Flags. He had it on him when the Skitters got him, and they didn't take it. He forgot he even had it. They reminisce about how Ben and Matt threw up on Hal, and then Ben says that Hal looks like their mom. He tells Hal to take the picture -- to hold on to it for him until the adults come back for the kids. Hal gazes at the photo, and then tells Tom he's thinking he should go with Matt and Ben to the farm. Tom says that between Mike and the escort, the two boys should be well protected. But Hal is more focused on emotional repair than physical protection. He and Ben never really got along, and Hal tells Tom that on the morning that their mom died he and Ben really got into it. She broke them up, and then told Hal that even though they'd always be different, they had to put that behind them and start looking out for each other. Just like Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga! Hey, Tom may have his historical parallels but I'm the master of The Real Housewives of New Jersey parallels. Now that they have Ben back, Hal wants to keep that promise to his mom. If she were there, Hal says, she'd want him to go with Ben. Hal is sure about it, and Tom notes that Rebecca would be proud of him. It turns out that she also told Hal to keep an eye out on Tom, which is a work in progress.
All the kids are outside getting ready to leave. Even the pain in the ass is sending his daughter, promising her that they're going to come back for her soon. Lourdes is leaving, and so is Jimmy, who appreciates Weaver giving him another chance. Weaver, whose emotional barricades can't just be blown up like a barricade of abandoned cars at a Mech's laser pointer, shakes Jimmy's hand and says, "Stay frosty, soldier." Jimmy nods and looks confused, like either this is a dignified way of maintaining their professional relationship, or that he picked the wrong person from which to try to wring emotional solace.
Clayton goes over directions on the map with Tom, and then prepares to leave. Hal joins his brothers, which makes Ben very happy. Matt whines that he doesn't want to go, and Tom tells him that it's only for a few days max. He tells Matt that it's going to get better, because he doesn't know that's only for the gay kids. And then, like a Pied Piper in camouflage, Weaver leads a parade of kids away from the 2nd Mass. There are maybe a dozen kids total, along with a couple of fighters. Tom and Anne look on, and then! They hold hands! Oh my God, their fingernails are so dirty. But still! They make a good looking couple, even if I'm certain that she's like 20 years younger than he is. Also, after that scene on the shooting range I'm really rooting for Anne and Maggie to have a go at it. But I don't know if a show that focused the precious last five minutes of an episode on praying and being thankful is really going to give us some hot post-apocalyptic lady action.
Clayton leads the kids along the tree line, and then directs them to go through a path in the woods. Hal, who is pretty sharp in addition to having such a masculine jaw, notes to Clayton that, according to the map, they should be turning north at that point. Clayton says that no, they're going to turn here instead. He rationalizes it in a way that doesn't make all that much sense, except that they get to stay in the woods. It's a shortcut! And safer! OR IS IT? Judging by the way Clayton is suspiciously looking around, it's clear that something wicked is afoot. OR IS IT? No, dude it is. It TOTALLY is. The kids make it to the Hidden Frontier Ranch, which is indeed a pretty idyllic looking farmhouse. Hal and Ben get big smiles, because the place looks so awesome. There are some existing people there, who don't say much to their new guests. Despite the fact that it's still not actually dark, Clayton says that they should get everybody to bed and then they'll do a tour in the morning. Nobody disagrees with him.
When it finally IS dark, we see Clayton heading down a staircase with a lantern. And then we see a bag with a Blue Hills Ski Area patch on it. Yes bitches, it's Eli. He's sitting in a room alone, and Clayton enters. Eli immediately asks where his mom and dad are, noting that the man who found him said he could see them today. Clayton tells Eli that he can see them right now if he likes, and Eli jumps up. He's probably just relieved at this obvious lie, and not thinking that you should never trust the same dude who locked you alone in a room all day. And then, the creepiest and greatest thing of all time happens. Maybe not as creepy and great as when the Skitter presided over the kid nest in the last episode. Or maybe greater. I just can't decide.
Anyway, Eli and Clayton head out in the creepy dark woods, and eventually meet up with a young girl. With her giant yet dead eyes open wide, the girl says that her name is Megan. Yes! The Megan that Clayton talked about earlier in passing -- his second-in-command's daughter who was abducted by Skitters. Eli tells Megan his name, and she says that she really likes it. I guess that's how zombie kids make smalltalk. Megan comes closer and tells Eli that she can take him to his family. She turns and he sees the glowing harness on her back and is all, "Dude, that's okay, I'm all set." He tells Megan that they can go in the morning, and she says that it's better if they go now -- his family is waiting for him. Eli doesn't want to go and tries to pull away and run, but it's all for naught. He is shot through by a Mech laser. Through no fault of his own, that kid just can't win.
A Skitter slowly approaches and talks to Clayton through Megan. She says, "You're late." Who knew Skitters were so freaking punctual? Clayton asks if Megan/the Skitter has to be somewhere, and she replies in the affirmative before asking, "How many did you get?" Yes, bitches, this is happening. Clayton just says, "Enough." Megan confirms the plan that Clayton will bring more in two days, and Clayton says, "That's the deal." The deal with the devil alien overlord! In good news, maybe we'll finally get rid of Lourdes and Matt. The Skitter team heads off, with the Skitter carrying Eli in its arms. That kid is going to get so slimy. Also, the Skitters are surprisingly flat-footed! We really do learn new things about them every week.
But wait! There's MORE! I know, people, I know. Clayton enters a barn, and looks down upon a grown adult human who is chained to a table. He says that it turns out the captive wasn't lying after all -- there were a lot of kids in that school, even though Clayton half-expected to find the place empty. The human, who has been face-down since we first saw him, turns his head toward Clayton. It's POPE! I really hoped his inevitable return would be a bit more triumphant. But yes, Pope totally sold out all the kids of the 2nd Mass. Clayton says, "I knew it was a good idea to keep you alive," as Pope's head trembles with rage. Nobody talks about being thankful for anything. Now that's an ending!
time: With any luck, Matt and Lourdes will be the first two human sacrifices from the Second Mass!
Potes is really getting in shape thanks to her Scrap Metal Fitness DVDs. You can tweet her @traciepotes or email at potesypotes@gmail.com.
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