By AB Chao
Fade up on the Abbott House. Amy "Irving" Abbott voice-overs, "Dear Ephram, I know it's weird that I'm writing you instead of calling, but...this feels easier. I don't know, maybe I got used to the email thing while you were in New York; maybe I'm just too scared to pick up the phone, but I think we need to talk." Amy, typing on her computer, stops and backspaces. "Ugh, dumb." She resumes typing, and we see Patch standing in the doorway, observing this display of teen angst. Amy resumes her letter, "But I'd really like to talk to you." Isn't that what she just said? Think twice, post once, Abbott. Patch interrupts just as Ephram signs onto AIM. His screen name is "EphraminNYC" for those of you stalking at home. Amy shushes Patch as she waits, frozen, for Ephram to take some IM action. Patch asks if everything is all right. Amy: "Ephram just signed on. And he sees me! And he knows I see him! This is so insane." Patch doesn't understand, as usual. Amy explains that everything was so great when Ephram first came back, and then everything went wrong, and none of it would have happened if he hadn't gotten that letter. Patch is all, "Letter? What letter? There was a letter?" Amy tells her dad about Ephram's bad evaluation from Juilliard: "And now he says he needs to practice every day, and that he may not have time for a girlfriend, which is totally not true, because I AM REALLY LOW-MAINTENANCE when it comes to that kind of stuff, you know?" Hee. Untruer words have never been spoken. Patch, the best dad in history, replies, "Absolutely." Amy goes on to complain that she has to start her senior year the day and she doesn't even know if she's in a relationship or not. She turns back to the computer and sighs. "It's like we're standing in the same room and he won't talk to me!" Patch tells Amy to look away from the screen. Amy gets up and throws herself on the bed. Patch tells his daughter that she won't believe it, but she is totally better than this, and that she shouldn't get so wrapped up in one boy that she misses her senior year. Amy tells her dad that he's right. Patch is all, "I know. I am right. Go to bed." After Patch leaves, Amy immediately gets up to check on Ephram, who is still inside the computer. She makes a face as he signs off, and we cut to...
...Ephram, slamming his computer shut: "Dammit." He bangs on it once just as Treat is walking by. Treat tells Ephram that he needs to find something else to bang on, since Treat paid $1800 for that nice computer. Ephram doesn't care. Treat asks if he and Ephram have passed their mandatory cooling-off period, or if they're still fighting. Ephram says he's too tired to think about anything right now, so it doesn't matter. Treat decides to write his own version of the facts: "How about this? We both realized we were wrong, and were on our way to apologize...and now we're all made up, and you can tell me why you were so pissed off, because I know it's not just about me." Ephram tells his dad it's Amy. Treat: "That's it?" Ah, Treat. Not quite the best thing to say to a teenager in looooove. Treat pulls over a chair and asks for specifics. Ephram tells his dad to put that chair right back where he found it, because Ephram doesn't want to talk about it. Treat insists that he can help. Ephram insists that he can't. Delia interrupts this meaningful conversation to tell Treat that Patch is at the door. She says she doesn't know what he wants, but that he's wearing slippers. Ephram tells them both to take their conversation elsewhere. As Treat goes down to see Patch, we get a side shot of Ephram, who has -- blessedly --shaved those hideous sideburns. You may now call me, Ephram.
Treat walks out onto his porch, where Patch is waiting for him. He stage-whispers to Patch very seriously, "I have already told you, Harold. I am just not attracted to you in that way." Hee. Patch smirks, because he obviously knows the real truth, and replies, "They don't know about Madison. At least Amy doesn't know, which doesn't necessarily mean that Ephram doesn't know, but based on events to which I've just been informed, I don't believe he does." Treat's like, "What events? You know about the fight?" Patch: "You know about the fight?" Treat: "Of course I know about the fight." Aw, you two. Patch goes on, "Then you know about the letter." Treat: "Of course I know about the letter...what letter?" Patch tells his boyfriend about Ephram's awful Juilliard evaluation, and starts to leave, claiming that he's freezing cold. Treat grabs him by the pajamas and asks him to explain further. Patch tells Treat to direct his questions to someone else -- to his son, perhaps. Treat says Ephram never said anything about Juilliard, not even once. Patch: "Imagine my surprise. I would continue about a proverb about the apple and the tree, but the hour is late, Brown, my eyes have grown weary, and these pajamas are drafty. Good night, good luck, I'll see you in the morning." Brilliant. Treat calls out for Patch to wait once again, just as the sprinklers start up right where Patch is walking. Treat: "I was going to say, 'Go right.'" Patch gets his soaking-wet self into his car. Treat looks up and sees the light in Ephram's room go out. He heaves a Treat-sized sigh, and we go to the pretty new credits.
Brown House of Breakfast-time Interrogations. Treat fixes himself some coffee and tells Ephram that he never really got to ask how his summer went. Ephram says that was fine. Treat: "Really? You like Juilliard? Lived up to all your expectations?" Ephram responds with grunts and shoulder-shrugging. Treat, seeing how well this is going, tries to dig deeper, but Ephram grabs his bag and heads out the door, saying he's going to be late. Treat is left standing alone in his kitchen, wondering how he got to be such a good conversationalist.
Cut to the high school. Ephram finds Amy on her way into the school. He introduces himself as "Ephram Brown. I think we met a couple of years ago." Amy remembers, "Yeah? I think you had purple hair then." Heh. Ephram asks if he's ever going to live that one down. Amy smiles adorably and shakes her head no. Ephram tells Amy that he saw her online last night, but that he didn't know what to say. Amy tells him to cool out, that she doesn't want him to feel any pressure. Ephram lies that he doesn't feel any pressure at all, no way. Amy's friends rush up in a tizzy about Homecoming Committee or something equally ridiculous, and drag her away. Ephram's all, "Okay, well, I'll talk to you later then." Hey, you're the one who said you needed some time, bub.
Mama Joy's. Irv -- hi, Irv! -- and Scott Wolf are sitting at the counter talking when Patch walks in. "The man who stole my father's office out from under me has now stolen my seat at the counter. Is anything sacred?" Scott Wolf, who is even cuter this week with his little red t-shirt and scruffy face and the dimples, OH MY GOD THE DIMPLES, replies, "Hal! How's it goin'?" Heh. Patch picks up a flyer that Scott Wolf has made, advertising a fun morning walk for the residents of Everwood. Patch snarks, "'Walking to Wellness'? This is your concept of good doctoring?" Scott Wolf says it'll be fun, and invites Patch to join them. Patch reminds Scott Wolf that medicine isn't fun. If it involves you two bickering, it sure is. Scott Wolf tells Patch that the model is changing -- it's all about early intervention these days, and treating the well patient so she stays that way. Patch rolls his eyes. "You think I don't see what you're doing? Advertising yourself like some Doc-in-the-Box, trying to hoodwink patients with gimmicks and freebies? You're not running a Pep Boys, for God's sake." Scott Wolf giggles. He tells Patch that it's just business -- he's trying to build a client base, and marketing is part of a solid business plan. He invites Patch again to the walk, and says he'll even throw in a pair of walking shoes as a professional courtesy. As a waitress hands Patch a menu with Scott Wolf's smiling face in an ad on the back, he tells Scott Wolf to shove his courtesy up his ass, since he will be in an actual office treating actual patients while they're out whooping it up with the wellness walk. Man, this is good stuff.
Over at the Brown House, it's...late afternoon? This timeline is all effed up. Nina walks in and asks Ephram if she can do her laundry, since her machine is on the blink. Ephram says that's fine, and starts right in on how he is trying to rearrange his schedule so that he'll have more time for Amy. He tells Nina that it's all a balancing act, and that he thought he needed more time, but that what he really needs is to make Amy his first priority. Nina's like, "Okay. Thanks for the update I didn't ask for." Ephram says he has to go practice. Before he leaves, Nina stops him to ask for a favor. She starts to explain that some old friends of hers are moving to Hong Kong, blah blah. Ephram interrupts and says, "Nina, you had me at 'favor.' Whatever it is? Done." Why, hello, Anvil of Foreshadowing and Regret! It's been a long time.
Treat's Office. Treat tells a male patient in his mid-thirties, who is obviously this week's MEOW, that his lab results came back. Treat: "Unfortunately, you've tested positive for chlamydia. Which explains the burning." Well. Quite. Treat goes on to explain that the good news is, chlamydia is very treatable with antibiotics. Mr. Feels Like Burning asks Treat if chlamydia's one of those things you can get from a toilet seat or shaking hands. Treat's like, "No. Dumb-ass." He asks Mr. Burning if he's married, and whether he thinks he may have gotten it from his wife. Mr. Burning responds, "Man, I wish. That would be way better." He explains that he was in Vegas on business recently, and entertained his clients -- and himself -- with lots of food, booze, and women, but it was only a one-time thing. Treat tells Mr. Burning that he understands, but that he has to tell his wife what's going on, so that she can come in for testing. Mr. Burning says that he totally can't tell his wife, and asks if he can just get some extra medicine. He says he'll make sure that she takes it. Gah, asshole. Treat says it's more complicated than that, since chlamydia can be very dangerous for women. Mr. Burning sighs, "I should have gone to Céline Dion." Heh. ["Speaking of Feels Like Burning." -- Wing Chun]
Abbott House. Rose answers the door, and asks Ephram what brings him by. Ephram holds up two tickets to The Shins. EPHRAM CALL ME NOW! He tells Rose that he knows it's a school night, but that he promises to have Amy home at a reasonable hour. Rose tells Ephram that she's sorry, but Amy isn't even at home -- she went out with some friends a while ago: "Something about a first day of school celebration? I assumed you'd be there with her." Ephram obviouses that he's, uh, not. Rose says she'll tell Amy that he stopped by. Ephram says he'll just tell her when he sees her at school. Rose shuts the door, and Ephram makes his way sadly back to his car. Again I say, your fault, brother. Commercials.
Mmm, vodka tonic, made by a husband who just wants my recap money. We come back to Treat's Office. He's on the phone with Juilliard, and wants to know the deal with Ephram's unsatisfactory evaluation. What starts out as a polite conversation, all, "Yes, yes, I understand," ends with Treat yelling, "Well, that's rude. No, you listen to me! I didn't send my son up there for eight weeks so you could jerk him off and then tell him that he's got no future. Oh, is that so? Well, you can take your careful evaluation AND your panel of experts and shove them right up your conservatory asses!" Edna, who has been standing there listening, asks calmly, "So, how'd it go?" Hee. Love you, Edna. Treat tells Edna to get Juilliard back on the line. Edna: "Why, so you can insult his mother? I don't think so, Champ." She tells Treat that Ephram would kill him if he knew. Treat says Ephram ain't going to find out. Edna remarks, "You're getting good at that, aren't you?" Ouch.
Mr. Burning interrupts this exchange to ask if he can see Treat for a minute. Treat says he thought Burning's wife was coming in today. Burning says, "Yeah. About that." He tells Treat that he's been thinking about it, and he wants to tell his wife that he has mono, and that she needs to get checked. She comes in and gets tested, gets the antibiotics, and she'll be none the wiser that he's a total cheating freak. Treat levels Burning: "Is this a joke?" Treat says maybe he didn't make himself clear the other day, but chlamydia is very serious, and that his wife could be very sick, does he understand? Mr. Burning cracks me up with his delivery of this line: "I do! Which is why I knew you would go along with this little white lie so we could stop it." Treat says he won't do it. Burning tells Treat some blah blah sadness-cakes story about his wife's past, and how he's her rock, and this would crush her. He says "Mary" would be devastated if he told her what a jerk he is. Treat says he wishes there were something he could do, but there isn't. Burning says he'll just have to take his chances, then. Good gravy, what a first-class dicksmack. He tells Treat if he wants to help her, Treat has to help him -- it's Treat's call. Nice.
Abbott House of Real Dumb Cuties. Bright's in his room, watching TV and getting down with a quart of ice cream. Rose knocks on the door. "Bright?" He jumps up, hides the cream, flips off the TV, and sits down at his desk. Hee. Rose walks in, suspicious. Bright's all, "Oh, hey, Mom. Just doing a little reading!" Rose: "The Holy Bible?" She walks further in the door and surreptitiously places her hand on the TV, feeling for warmth. Bright tells his mom that he was thinking about taking a religion seminar, and thought he'd just brush up on his Jesus. Awesome. Rose tells Bright he can stop lying before he commits any actual blasphemy, because she knows he didn't sign up for his classes. Bright sheepishly tells his mom that he went down there to sign up, and just didn't see the point: "How am I supposed to decide whether I need English Comp or Physics when I don't even know what I want to do with my life?" He says he knows there's something out there he'll be good at; he just doesn't know what it is. Rose tells her son that college is about more than just the academics. Bright says that real college is, but the thought of spending six hours a day at a community college is just a big reminder of how badly he's messed up his life. Rose says she wishes he'd just told her and Patch. Bright worries about Patch's reaction to all this. Rose tells him not to worry -- that Patch will come around once they've figured out a plan. Bright's like, "We? We who?" Rose tells her son that they're going to figure this out together, and they'll tell Patch when the time is right. In the meantime, Rose reminds Bright, he needs to take it easy on himself. Famous last words, Mayor.
Over in downtown Everwood, Patch's leisurely sidewalk stroll is interrupted by Scott Wolf and his gigantic crowd of morning walkers. Scott Wolf chirps, "Coming through!" and gives Patch a big thumbs up. Hee! Patch is nearly taken down by the throng, as he stands in the middle of the sidewalk and yells to no one in particular, "Go ahead and enjoy yourselves, lemmings! This is no fitness regimen! The only effect will be the siphoning off of your pocketbooks!" He then demands that they all stop walking, but the followers of the Holy Church of Scott Wolf and His Adorable Dimples care not. Poor Patch. Foiled again by those pesky kids.
Diner. Treat breaks confidentiality once again by telling Nina about Mr. Feels Like Burning and his poor, poor wife. He says the only thing he can do is go along with Burning's plan to bring in Mary. Nina can't believe Treat is actually considering doing this. Treat says he doesn't really have much of a choice. Nina doesn't think lying about cheating helps anybody, and obviously, she would know. Speaking of which, I would just like to take back everything mean I ever said about Dylan Walsh, because GOOD GOD is he hot on Nip/Tuck. CALL ME NOW SHUTUP CARL I'M SORRY I WAS MEAN!!! Treat asks Nina if it would be so bad to go along with the plan, as a means to and end. Nina: "Whose end?" Hee. That's what I would like to know.
Cut to the high school. Ephram walks Amy out, and asks her if she wants to go to a movie that night. She agrees, but then remembers that she has to attend some function for the school newspaper. Ephram tries to act all hard, but he's totally pouting. Amy asks him if he's mad. He says he's just curious: "The other day when you told me you'd give me some time to figure things out? Was that a total lie or did you at least think you were telling the truth?" Amy's like, "Huh?" Ephram whines that now that she's joined all these activities, she doesn't have time for him at all anymore, and he's just curious: does she care about their relationship at all? Oh, shut UP, Ephram. Baby. Amy says she wasn't even aware they were back in a relationship. Ephram whines some more about how he dropped classes and rearranged his schedule just so he'd have more time for her, "and you turn your schedule into something the President couldn't even handle! Not that that's saying much." Heh. Amy says, "How am I supposed to know that you dropped two classes when you didn't even tell me?" Ephram says he was trying to surprise her, but if he'd known she'd just go and fill up her days like that, he wouldn't have bothered. Amy says what we're all thinking: "Screw YOU, Ephram." She tells him that he told her to go away and give him time and space, which is exactly what she's been doing. She says she knows piano is, like, the most important thing in the entire world, but her life is just as important to her as his is to him. Ephram: "Oh, yes, let me be there for you in your big crisis moment when you can't decide what the homecoming theme should be." Ooh, somebody's in line to get a slap. Amy gives him a look, and Ephram says he didn't mean it, he's just been trying to make things work. Amy interrupts, "Why don't you stop trying so hard? If this relationship is such a burden to you, maybe we shouldn't have one." Ephram: "Fine." Amy: "Fine." Ah, teen love. Commercials.
Abbott House. Amy mopes around her room, trying to choose a shirt from her closet full of cute clothes. Patch calls up to her, and tells her she's going to be late. He sees her face of sadness, and asks her what's wrong. She confesses to Patch that she and Ephram broke up. She tells her dad that she did everything he said to do -- she got involved in other activities, and tried to give Ephram space, and he changed his entire schedule just so he could be with her, and now she's stuck doing yearbook and newspaper and Homecoming committee. She adds, "I hate Homecoming." Heh. Patch says he's sorry, and that he knows it feels horrible right now, but maybe it's for the best, maybe another boy.... Amy says there is no other boy -- she can fill her schedule with a thousand different things, but none of those things make her as happy as the thought of being with Ephram. She says she knows it sounds shallow, and ridiculous, and awful. Patch gently assures her daughter that it doesn't sound awful at all. "It sounds like you're in love." Aw. Amy asks what she should do. Patch starts to give her advice, then stops himself. "You know what? You don't need me to tell you what to do. You'll figure it out." He gives her a kiss on the head, and leaves us all wishing we had a daddy like Patch.
Brown House of Similar Circumstances. Treat catches Ephram about to leave the house, and asks if he even gets a goodbye. Ephram: "Bye." Treat asks his son what's wrong now. Ephram says it's nothing. He asks Treat what's wrong with him. Treat: "Nothing." Ugh, so annoying. Just get it out, people. Delia runs downstairs, ready for Ephram to take her to school. As they walk out, Delia asks Ephram, "What's wrong with you?" Ephram tells her that he and Amy broke up. Delia: "Already?" Ephram: "Shut up, Delia." Well, that was an amusing, if entirely pointless, scene.
Treat's Office. Mrs. Mary Burns-a-Lot is in for her fake test. Treat hands her a specimen cup and tells her that all he needs is a sample, and they'll be able to tell if there's anything to worry about. Mary tells Treat she doesn't understand; her husband said he had strep throat, so why does he need a urine sample from her? Treat lies that since she's there anyway, they might as well run a test on everything. He adds, "And, hey, you know what? It's on the house!" Mary says she thought Treat was already free. Treat: "I am! Good point." Heh. Nice one, Treat. Mary gives Treat a look. "What did he give me, Dr. Brown? Just tell me the truth. I can take it." Treat tells Mary that her husband tested positive for chlamydia. Mary, who clearly cannot take it, starts to cry. She can't believe Mr. Burning gave her VD. Treat says he wishes she hadn't found out this way. Mary says she knew; she's always known, and she should have said something a long time ago, but didn't: "He'd pretend he was working late, I'd pretend I believed him, it just got worse and worse. Now it's like we've been lying to each other for so long, I wouldn't even know how to stop." Treat says maybe this is an opportunity for the two of them to get everything out in the open. Mary tells Treat that under no circumstances can her husband know that she knows about this. Man, this is so fucked up. Treat doesn't understand why she won't take this chance to make her marriage better. Mary says it's too late for that, and makes him promise not to tell. Treat asks Mary what she wants him to do. "Run the test, and write me a prescription for strep throat." Mary says she'll take care of the rest, and walks out of Treat's office into the loving arms of her jackass husband. Treat stares sadly as Mary cheerfully tells her husband that it's time to go. Weirdest MEOW ever.
Cut to the Abbott House. Bright is having a rocking pool party out in his parents' back yard. The "pool" is this tiny little baby plastic thing with about three feet of water in it, which just ups the class factor in my book. Scantily-clad girls frolic and splash and spray Bright with the hosepipe. Uh-oh. Mama's home. Rose storms into the back yard and orders everybody out. Bright's like, "Aw, shit." Rose tells him that he's got some nerve: "All this blather about finding your purpose. All you're trying to do is extend your summer vacation, and use my home as your own personal resort. Well, that ends right NOW." Rose goes on about Bright trying to butter her up and get her sympathies, and finishes, "I do not enjoy being played for a patsy, Brighton. You are supposed to be at a low point, young man. I suggest you start acting like it." Poor, pitiful Brighton is left standing alone in the baby pool. Oops.
Office of Treat and Patch. Treat tells his boyfriend that he has decided to tell Ephram about Madison. He says he came to Everwood for one reason -- to build a relationship with his son. He says that was starting to happen, but now it's like he's living in a time warp, and all the progress they'd made is just shot to hell: "It's like there's this wall between us, and I put it there the day I decided not to tell him that Madison was pregnant. I did that, and I need to undo it before our relationship turns into...what I saw in there today. This is the right thing to do." Patch sighs, "It may have been the right thing...if you came to me two months ago." He tells Treat that he can't imagine how he's handled these last two months, let alone the last two years, all by himself. But, he says, Treat doesn't have to figure this one out alone. "So allow me to be here for you now, and to aid you in this decision. Do not tell Ephram." Treat tries to interrupt, but Patch continues, "This isn't only for Amy's sake, although naturally, that is my greatest concern. You can't undo what you did. Telling Ephram now isn't going to make this any better for him. It'll only be better for you." Treat tries to say that that isn't what this is about, but I have to take Patch's side on this one. Treat only wants to make himself feel better about him, even if it means throwing Ephram's entire universe out of alignment. Patch tells Treat that if he wants Ephram to have a normal childhood, that's a very real possibility right now, because he and Amy are in love. Treat, again, tries to talk, saying that's real great and everything. Patch says, no, it's remarkable, especially after everything these two kids have endured, that they've managed to salvage any hope at all. Treat reminds Patch that Madison could come back at any time. Patch says they can't control that: "What you can control is what you do today, right now. Start over with Ephram. Make a clean slate. Don't let this one 'incident' with Madison prevent you from doing that." Well, Patch, I'm going to have to dock you a few points for calling someone's baby an "incident," but otherwise...right on, brother. Treat knows it too, all the way into the commercials.
We come back to the high school. Amy finds Ephram at his locker. "I quit yearbook," she offers in apology. Ephram quips, "Damn. I just signed up." They apologize to each other for their respective mistakes. Amy says she shouldn't have yelled. Ephram tells her that yelling is part of her charm. Heh. Ephram says Amy shouldn't have to drop yearbook or whatever, if that makes her happy -- they just have to remember to talk to each other. He confesses that he went to her house the night before they got into their big fight. Amy confesses back that she wrote him, like, fifteen emails: "I didn't send any, but some of them are pretty damn good." Ephram says he hasn't been able to practice for a week, he was thinking about Amy so much. Amy says she couldn't concentrate in any of her meetings because she was thinking about him. Okay, we get it. You're in love. Kiss and make up. Please. Before I have to kill you both. And...they do, with some good old-fashioned Frenching in the middle of the hallway. Ephram stops kissing long enough to ask Amy, "By the way, how do you feel about PDA?" Amy: "I feel good about it." They resume kissing. I resume drinking. All is right with the world.
Cut to Rose's office, which I don't think we've ever seen before. Bright walks in and greets his mom, "Don't give up on me." Rose says she's not giving up on him; she's just disappointed. Bright tells his mom that she has every right to be: "I screwed up. Not just the other day, but in general. And I want to fix it...but I need your help." Oh, Bright. I'll help you, you cute thing. Rose tells Bright that she can't help him unless he takes on some responsibility himself. Bright says he knows, and that's why he went to the bookstore. He pulls out two self-help books, one of which is Who Moved My Cheese?. Hee. Bright informs his mother that the one about cheese isn't really about cheese: "It's metaphorical." He also asks his mom to help him put together a résumé, so he can get a damn job. Rose agrees that a job would be good, but there's just one thing -- he has to tell Patch the truth. Bright: "Yeah, I figured. But if you think he would take it better coming from you, I'm totally cool with that." Rose: "Not a chance." She gives her sweet Brighton a little smile. Aw.
Over on Main Street, still-not-annoying Scott Wolf hurries out of his office to his car, trying to juggle all his paperwork and cell phone along the way. Patch walks over from his own office, and asks Scott Wolf if he's rushing off to see more "clients." Scott Wolf, who still doesn't have a funny nickname here, so please see the poll on the recap index page, tells "Hal" that he doesn't have time to talk, since he's got to get to the pharmacy before it closes. Patch, clearly relishing what he's about to say, reveals to Scott Wolf that Ted the Pharmacist closed nearly an hour before; he prefers to keep summer hours all year 'round. Scott Wolf can't believe it; he accidentally gave "Mrs. Sampos" the wrong kind of medicine for her back pain, and now she's all kinds of sick, and he needs a pharmacy that's open, so he can give her something to counteract the medication. Patch, still with the relishing, whips open his cell phone. "Ted? Harold Abbott, sorry to bother you. We've got a pop-up. Nexium, 100 milligrams. And it will be Dr. Hartman meeting you. Yes, the new guy. He'll be there. Thank you, best to Margaret." Hee. Patch tells Scott Wolf to meet Ted at the pharmacy in twenty minutes. Scott Wolf thanks Patch, and says he can't believe he knows the pharmacist's home number by heart -- he doesn't even know the pharmacist's name back in L.A. "Which is precisely why you came here, if I remember correctly," Patch observes. He tells Scott Wolf that if you took a yardstick and broke it in half, and kept going until you had the tiniest piece possible, that's how you could measure the size of what they do there: "Our job here is to heal; to do good. And it doesn't matter if you're in California, or in Calcutta. It's still the same." Patch -- did I mention he is continuing to relish his own self, here? -- heads to his car, so pleased he could burst. Scott Wolf points at Patch and says, "Good share, Hal." Hee. I still like you, Scott Wolf, but don't push me.
Cut to Ephram and Amy, taking a little walk, spending some quality time together. As they pass Nina's house, Nina calls over to Ephram and asks him if he remembers that favor she asked him about. "Well, she's here." Amy: "'She'?" Ephram: "Your favor's a...a she?" Nina misremembers that she totally already told him that. She explains that, anyway, "Hannah" starts school the day, and doesn't know a soul. Hannah walks outside, straight from Central Casting for "wallflower." Uh-oh. They all say hi to each other, and my handy-dandy Book of Foreshadowing tells me that Hannah ain't nothing but trouble.
Cut, again, to Ephram practicing in his fancy new studio. Treat comes in and tells Ephram that he did something he needs to talk to him about. Ephram says that doesn't sound good. Treat says that, first of all, he knows about the Juilliard evaluation. Ephram says he wanted to tell Treat, but then there was the studio, and the excitement, and he didn't want to disappoint his dad. Treat says that Ephram could never disappoint him. Ephram says he disappointed himself, and they're both going to have to accept the fact that he's average. Treat responds, "Nothing about you is average." Ephram reminds his dad that that 's not what the people at Juilliard said. Treat doesn't care what the people at Juilliard said. Which brings him to his point. Treat says he has a confession: "I yelled at your Juilliard professor." Hee. Mean little trick, Berlanti. Ephram says he guesses his audition just got a little tougher. Treat apologizes. Ephram: "It's all right. I like a challenge." Aw. Treat gives a sweet little speech about how they need to communicate more, and it's not because he's trying to control Ephram or parent him to death, but because he misses him. "I need to be a part of your life, and I need you to be a part of mine. It's important." Ephram says he knows, and he'll try. Treat likes this. He tells Ephram he'll let him get back to practicing. Ephram stops Treat before he leaves. "Dad. Thank you for telling me about the phone call. I probably never would have found out otherwise." Ooh. What does it MEAN? Treat tells Ephram, "No problem," and leaves him to his practicing. Fade to black.