Good morning! It's breakfast time at the Abbott House. Amy walks in late, and Patch informs her that he still has time to fix her up some Huevos Rancheros. For the record, I hate eggs more than any other food in the world. For more of the record, today is the last day of the worst week ever, so get ready for the most pessimistic recap ever written. Amy declines Patch's offer, and gets herself some coffee. Patch thinks Amy is still depressed about Ephram, but Amy says that's not it: she's gotten two more responses from two different schools. Patch asks her if she got rejected. Amy says she did, from Tufts. Patch says, and I quote, "phooey on them." Amy tells her dad that she got into the other school, which is bizarre since she didn't apply there. Patch is all, "Come again?" Amy reveals that the school she did get into is Princeton. She asks him if he had anything to do with it. Patch gives her a huge hug, and ignores her question. "Finally! An Abbott at Princeton University!" Amy laughs while Patch runs out the door and down the street in his bathrobe, bouncing off cars, yelling at all the neighbors, "She got into PRINCETON!" Credits.
When we come back, Ephram and Bright are shooting basketball in the Abbotts' driveway. Ephram is skipping school. Bright asks if he's trying to beat his ditch record. Ephram responds as only the depressed can: school's not that important, he's not going to college anyway, what is the point of it all? Bright warns him that he'll end up watching NASCAR with a six-pack of Milwaukee's Best laying across his gut if he doesn't watch it. Ephram says he may as well go for broke with the stereotype, seeing as how he had a kid at sixteen. Heh. Bright wants to know why Ephram went all the way to California, and then didn't even knock on the door. Ephram says he'd planned to; he had a speech prepared and everything, but when he got there he realized the baby wasn't actually his anymore. "If they cared enough to adopt him, why should I ruin their lives just because I'm...feelin' weird?" Bright's like, "So...Amy wasn't totally wrong, then, was she?" Ephram gets defensive and says it was something he had to actually go and experience for himself. Bright says all he's trying to say is that Amy tried to do the right thing, and maybe Ephram should cut her some slack. Ephram looks as though he might actually be considering this instead of thinking of his own damn self every second of every day.
Diner. Nina has just spilled something all over Treat, and Treat asks her what the hell is wrong with her: "You're like Howard Hughes without the milk bottles." Nina frets that Dimples's brother is coming in town, and she's all nervous about it. Treat tells her she has nothing to worry about, because she's fabulous. Just then, Dimples walks in with his brother, who is not nearly as cute, but kind of hot in his own way. Dimples introduces his brother "Brian" to Treat and Nina. We'll be calling him "Veneers," as his teeth are bigger than Everwood and its surrounding areas. Nina and Treat are pleased to meet Veneers, who says he knew Nina would be blonde. Dimples: "Is it because I told you she was blonde?" Heh. Dimples and Veneers, which is the name of my makeover reality show, give each other some good-natured brotherly ribbing. Treat asks Veneers how long he'll be in Everwood. Veneers says just for a few days, and we learn that he is an accountant. He asks Nina all about herself -- her cooking, her "kid" -- in sort of a condescending way, so we learn that Veneers is also kind of an asshole. You know, life really sucks.
High school. Amy and her friends are gushing about the schools they each got into. One of them tells Amy that getting into Princeton is sooooo cool, like, except for the New Jersey part, where there's a looooot of Mafia, so Amy should TOOOOTALLY bring mace with her. Shut up, stupid. Amy spies Ephram leaning against his locker, and sadly walks over. She asks him how he is, and he says he's just counting the days until school's over. There's an awkward pause, and Amy says she's going to go. Ephram stops her and says he owes her an apology. Amy perks up immediately. "Really?" Ephram tells her he understands why she did what she did, and says he doesn't even know what he would have done had he been in her situation. He says he's sorry if he made her feel bad. Amy says it's okay; he had a right to be angry at the world, and she understands. Ephram asks her if she maybe wants to hang out, you know, whenever. Amy's like, "I mean, yeah. I mean, whatever. Whenever." Hee. Ephram says he'll give her a call. They both say they should go their respective ways, and leave with cute little respective smiles.
Patch and Rose are getting ready for bed. Rose tells her husband that she just doesn't feel any better, and she's starting to think it's not all stress-related. Patch asks her what her diagnosis is. Rose says she's always tired, no matter how much sleep she gets; her back aches, along with everything else from her breasts to her ankles; and she's been feeling queasy. Patch tells her to come to his office tomorrow for a full work-up, and says some antibiotics might be in order. Rose says she doesn't think that will be necessary. Patch: "Oh, really? And when, exactly, did you obtain your medical license?" Rose tells him that the last time she felt like this was eighteen years, nine months ago. Patch is like, "What? OHHHH. Seriously?" Rose says yes, she thinks she might be...pregnant. Patch gives himself a total pat on the back, unable to hide how proud he is of his super-virility.
Nina's House. They're just finishing up dinner, and Dimples is telling them about the bottle of excellent wine they're drinking. Veneers: "Stop trying to impress her, she's already sleeping with you." Ew, rude. Nina excuses herself to go check on Sam, adding that they should help themselves to the ice cream in the freezer. After she's gone, Veneers pours more wine, and tells Dimples that Nina is awesome. Dimples is all, "Told you!" Veneers says she's a sweetheart, then asks, "So, when are you breaking up with her?" Dimples chokes on his wine, and asks his brother what the hell he's talking about. Veneers says Nina's great -- for Everwood. Dimples calls him a dick, and walks outside. His brother follows him, so he can be even more of a dick, and try to talk Dimples into moving back to L.A. and ditching Nina. Dimples says that Nina is better than all of the women he ever dated in L.A. put together. Veneers says, "Nina is a divorced waitress who's never been outside of the red states." Oh, my God, I hate him so much. Veneers reminds Dimples how awesome his life was back in L.A., with his awesome house and hot girls all over him and everything. Dimples says he's happy here. Veneers feels that Everwood will wear thin in a few months, and when he leaves Nina in the dust, she'll be heartbroken. Dimples doesn't get to respond, because Nina walks outside. "What, no ice cream? Don't make me eat it alone." Dimples tells her they were just waiting for her. Commercials.
Abbott House. Patch calls through a closed door to Rose, "How's it going in there, my dear?" Rose says she's peeing on a stick, and it's about as thrilling as it sounds. I myself have peed on many a stick in my time, and I have to admit, it's a little bit fun, with the science and the dye and the antibodies and the specimen cup and whatnot. Shut up. Patch, who is clearly already designing a nursery, asks Rose if she'd prefer a boy or a girl. Rose is like, "Harold, PLEASE." Patch informs Rose that he has taken the liberty of perusing the Babies 'R' Us website, and she would not believe the cost of a quality stroller these days! Rose looks distressed. Patch thinks it's all very exciting. Rose says it's just not something she was planning. "I never expected to be breastfeeding again at my age!" Patch asks her if she's having second thoughts. Rose says she hasn't even had time for first thoughts. The timer goes off, and Rose goes to
get the test. It's negative. They both look sort of devastated. Rose asks just how accurate these tests are. Welcome to my world, Abbotts. Patch says "fairly," and wonders why she's asking. Rose says she knows her own body, and trusts herself more than a plastic stick. Patch tells her to come by the office for a blood test, which will give them a more accurate result. Rose says she would actually rather go to Edna: "You haven't been able to locate my veins since med school." Patch says that's fine, and that he should be getting back to work. Rose, on the verge of tears, says she should as well. Life sucks.Nina and Veneers are at the grocery store. Nina tells him he's going to ruin his appetite if he doesn't quit snacking. Veneers tells her, rather patronizingly, that she sounds like his mom. Nina doesn't catch his tone; she jokes that they all get the same training tapes. I hope she drops a jar of spaghetti sauce on his foot. No, his balls. They chat about cooking, and Nina says she loves cooking for Jake, since he'll try anything. Veneers asks Nina if she's in love with his brother. Nina says she doesn't think they're quite there yet, but they'll just see what happens. Veneers says she might want to get a move on with that, so Dimples will bring her to L.A. with him when he moves home. What the FUCK. Veneers continues to run his stupid mouth, disclaiming that he feels like a total ass for saying this -- which he obviously doesn't -- but he told Dimples to break up with her. Nina: "Really. That was sweet of you." She walks to the aisle, trying to pretend she doesn't have to spend the two days with this dicksmack. Veneers catches up with her and tries to explain that he was trying to save Nina the heartache, so technically, he was looking out for her. Nina wants to know how he knows Dimples is moving back to L.A. Veneers says Dimples doesn't belong in Everwood -- he sticks out. Nina says he doesn't stick out, he stands out, which is so cheesy it's awesome, and adds that Veneers has only been there for one day, so maybe he should keep his opinions to himself. Veneers tells Nina that Dimples is broke: he's got malpractice costs, med school loans, the note on the place he still hasn't sold in L.A., and he's not making nearly as much money as he was. Veneers says he just wanted her to give her the heads-up, because he likes her. He says this just about how you'd tell somebody you like ass cancer. Go away, Veneers. Forever. Nina looks pissed off and hurt, but says nothing.
Let's move on to something cheerful. Amy and Hannah are shopping for a dress for Amy's big date. Hannah tells her she thinks they should start off again with a bang. Amy says it's not really starting off -- it's more like they almost got cancelled, then everyone decided they loved them, so they got picked up for another season. Hannah tells Amy she watches way too much TV. Amy says she doesn't want to freak Ephram out on their first date back, so she can't wear something too crazy. Hannah says their relationship has been like a Greek tragedy so far, so everything should be pretty easy from here on out. Amy agrees, and confesses that she's starting to think their relationship could really work, like, forever. Oh, Amy. Hannah says they could be high school sweethearts who made it, just like her parents, or Amy's, for that matter. Oh, Hannah. They giggle and chat and try on dresses some more, and it's very cute. It's also very misguided.
Dimples blows into his office and announces to the Abbotts, who are there waiting, "Well, you're not pregnant. But no real surprise there, right?" He sees their disappointed faces and is all, "I'm sorry, I figured you knew." Rose admits that she is surprised; she truly thought she was pregnant. Dimples says if they are interested in conceiving, there's a lot of stuff they could try, but they'd need first to get a sperm count from Patch to check his motility. Patch: "You needn't concern yourself with my motility, Doctor." Hee. They'd probably also want to check Patch's morphology, pH, and volume. Hello, I am an expert. Life sucks. Rose tells Patch he's been telling her for weeks that her symptoms were all stress-related. Patch: "Yes, and yesterday you thought you were pregnant." Rose says she is not the doctor. Patch says he's glad she understands that. Rose gives him a look, and Dimples is like, "Uh, okay. Aaanyway." Rose asks Dimples what he would say if she were a patient of his, and she came to him complaining of back problems, constant fatigue, and nausea. Dimples says it's a little early, but it might be menopause. Wow, from pregnancy to menopause in five minutes. That's quite a leap. He says he'd want to do a few more tests as well, which statement Patch interrupts to say he can do at his own office. Rose: "Excuse me, but I asked Dr. HARTMAN." Patch asks her where on earth this hostility is coming from. They start to bicker, and Dimples is like, "All righty then. I'm just going to stand here while you fight. And by the way? Awkward." Rose storms out. Dimples looks at Patch questioningly, and Patch tells him to shut up. Hee. Commercials.
Abbott House. Bright tells Ephram he heard about his and Amy's big date, and proudly suggests that he might have had just a little to do with that. Ephram's like, "Wait a minute. Date?" He tells Bright it's not even technically a date; they're just hanging out, seeing how it goes. Bright says he might want to tell Amy that, because word on the street is that they've officially moved back to Coupleville. Ephram says no, it ain't like that -- it's not as if he doesn't miss her, but he just can't be her boyfriend again right now. Bright says he probably should have told her all that stuff before she bought the dress. Ephram: "She went...shopping?" Bright tells him he doesn't have to "pop an aneurysm" over this, he just has to tell Amy where he's coming from. Ephram says he can do that. Amy comes down in her hot little dress, grins hugely, and asks Ephram if he's ready to go. Bright calls after them, "You kids have fun!"
Dimples's house, which is pretty cool in its all-white, pale-wooded, minimalist way. Treat is there with them. The men talk while Nina fixes dinner. Veneers says he can't believe they're having drinks at 5:30, and dinner at 6:30. He says it's been a while since he's eaten dinner that early, which earns him a look from Nina. He goes on, "I mean, back home? The good restaurants don't even open until seven!" Shut up. I hate you. Please die. You suck. Life sucks. Nina snarks, "Well, we have to get to bed early around here, so we can get up and milk the cows." Dimples, oblivious, laughs. "She's kidding! She doesn't have any cows!" Oh, he is so cute. Dumb, but cute. He says it does take a while to get used to the slower pace around here. Nina, getting angrier by the second, says she didn't realize he was so bored. Treat tries to diffuse the situation: "Do I smell cumin? I love cumin." Dimples says that's not what he meant, and asks Treat to help him out. Treat: "No, no, it's paprika, that's what it is! They're both reddish, I get confused." Veneers says something stupid, and Nina slams the oven door. Everyone looks uncomfortable. Nina burns her hand on a pan. She says it's just his kitchen, and it was stupid to cook here. Dimples says they could have done it at her place. Nina says she's just really exhausted, and not even that hungry, so she's going to go. She tells them to have a boys' night, and they all protest. Nina says, "No, seriously, that way you could all eat at eight, or nine, or whenever, and then you can all pretend that you're back in a big city." She leaves. Veneers asks if there are any good bars in this town. HATE.
Abbott/Brown Office. Patch tells Rose, who is getting re-dressed, that Louise should have her X-rays in a few minutes. Rose says shortly, "That's fine." Patch sighs and asks Rose what she wants from him. Rose apologizes, and says she doesn't know what's wrong with her. She says, initially, sh
1 2 3 4
e didn't want another child, but when she started thinking about the possible baby..."I really wanted her." Patch: "A her?" Rose says yes, she was hoping for a girl -- appropriately fingered and toed, of course. Patch says he never felt more useful in this world than the day he became a father. Rose tells him that they raised two wonderful children with good hearts. Patch: "The girl's going to Princeton, for heaven's sake. I'd say we did fantastic." ["Just don't let her start an internet business. Heh." -- Sars] He tells her he read an article about a lady in Budapest who gave birth in her seventies. Rose says they have a couple decades on her. Patch says they could try, if she wanted. Rose is delighted. Louise arrives with the X-rays. Patch puts them up on his little light box thing, and Rose says she's free that very night, if he'd like to start trying again. Aw. Patch says that sounds good to him. He says he doesn't see any visible fractures in Rose's back, but they'll set up a scan just to be certain. Rose says she's got to get home. Patch says he's right behind her. Something bad is going to happen.Back at Dimples's house, it appears that Veneers has gone bar-hopping. Good riddance. Treat and Dimples are eating Nina's food. Dimples says he doesn't know how she does it -- her cooking is like magic. He says he doesn't know what just happened. Treat: "I'll tell you what happened; your brother came here and decided to stir the pot. That's what families do, and that's what makes the holidays so fun." Dimples says he knew his brother would pull something like this, because he always does. He says he thought he was happy, but maybe he's not. Treat says he got the same pitch when he moved to Everwood, about how he was crazy, and he'd miss the city, and never last a year. Dimples asks what made him stop listening. Treat says it wasn't any great epiphany or anything, but he knows that Nina's worth it. "I was a disaster when I got here. Nina was the first friend I had...and she saved me from myself more times than she should have." Dimples says he knows. Treat tells him he is surely not going to find somebody like her in L.A., so he better recognize. Dimples gives Treat a funny look, and says he just figured something out, the way Treat and Nina are so close, and he gets it. Treat asks what he gets. Dimples: "Why Nina was in love with you." Treat stops short. Dimples is all, "You had to know." Treat obviously didn't know, but doesn't say anything. Dimples tells Treat the big irony is, he actually told Nina to go for it, and he really respects Treat for not wanting to risk their friendship like that. Treat looks like he might throw up. Well, Treat, I hate to have to tell you this: Life sucks.
Amy and Ephram, on their "date." Ephram asks if they should get some coffee. Amy says sure, and tells him that she thinks she's made a decision: she's going to Princeton. She starts to talk about how it's going to be so great, and New Jersey is really close to New York, and when they get an apartment together, it'll be so perfect! Ephram is like, "Wait a minute, sister. I don't know what I'm doing year, but it might not include living in New York." Amy doesn't understand. Ephram finally has to tell her that they're not actually dating, and she can't plan his life around him anymore. Amy says she knows, but she totally does not. Ephram tells her how happy he is for her, and how proud of her, and how relieved he is that he wrote that essay. Amy's all, "YOU? You wrote the essay?" Ephram says Patch filled out the application, but he wrote the essay. Amy says she didn't know, but seems oddly not that upset about it. Ephram says it's not a big deal; she got in because of her grades, which...no, but whatever. Amy nods. Ephram says she can't make him a part of her college decisions anymore, because he has no idea what he's doing. Amy says it's fine; she gets it. Ephram goes to get their coffee, and we go to commercials.
We come back to Dimples's house. Veneers is getting ready to leave, praise the Lord and pass the vodka. Dimples tells his brother that he was doing just fine with Nina, until he showed up. Veneers says he's just calling it like he sees it. Dimples tells him to stick to his damn 1040s and retirement accounts. Veneers says fine, and pulls out the taxes. He tells Dimples that he's got a serious revenue issue, and he's not going to make it if he doesn't ramp up his patient load. Dimples says that's kind of hard with two other doctors in town. Veneers reminds him that he used to rake it in with all those cosmetic peels and microdermabrasion and everything. Dimples doesn't think there's a big market for that in Everwood. Veneers tells him to do what he wants, but he's not going to survive if he doesn't do something, especially if he's planning on taking care of Nina and Sam on top of that. Dimples says Nina doesn't need him to take care of her. Veneers: "Maybe not. But you want to." That is, I swear, the only thing he has said that hasn't been completely ridiculous. Dimples looks pensive. Veneers's ride honks, and he leaves. God bless us all.
Abbott House. Patch tells Amy that he and Rose will be out for a few hours. They're clearly going to where the bad news lives. Amy says that's fine. She goes to her jewelry box and pulls out the necklace Ephram gave her earlier this year. When she goes to put it on, she flashes back to the moment he gave it to her, and finds that she can't. Aw, Amy. I don't think I have to tell you what sucks.
Nina is out in her yard planting flowers when Dimples walks up holding a pot. He tells her that a toothbrush works even better than steel wool on stuck-on risotto -- especially when the toothbrush is your brother's. Heh. Nina smiles a little bit, and tells him that's actually his pot. Silly Dimples. He starts to apologize to Nina for last night. Nina says she knows, Veneers thinks he should go home. Dimples says he's so sorry his brother is such a jackass. Nina says he was being just that: a brother. I beg to differ, but let's move on. Dimples says his brother has no idea what he needs, and certainly not what he wants. He admits that maybe he was running when he moved to Everwood, but that doesn't matter, because everything has changed now. Nina: "It has?" Dimples says yes, it has. "You say 'no' when you mean no. You say 'yes' when you mean yes. There's no pretending. I haven't had that so far with anyone, ever. And so far, you're still here." Nina says she's not going anywhere. Dimples grabs her around the waist and says, "Neither am I. I love you." YAY! Nina says, "I love you, too." They kiss. It's pretty hot.
Brown House. Amy arrives, and thanks Ephram for letting her stop by. They sit down, and Amy holds up her necklace. She asks him if he remembers when he gave it to her. Ephram does. Amy says what she remembers is him telling her that the circle represented infinity, and she's a little bit confused about why he said that. Ephram asks her what she's confused about, exactly. Amy says, to her, when someone says "infinity," it means "forever" -- not like the promise of forever, she clarifies, more like the possibility of forever. "I guess that I thought that you thought it was possible. But you never did, not really, did you? You bought the necklace after you wrote the essay." Emily VanCamp, once again, is acting the fool out of this scene, and I love her. You do not suck, Emily VanCamp, even though life does. Ephram says he doesn't remember, and when he wrote that essay... "You didn't think we'd work," Amy interrupts. "I remember that conversation, too. And I remember feeling so confident that we would. I had no idea that you were so not confident." Ephram says it's not that, it's just that he wanted her to have every possible option. "When I said 'infinite,' I meant it. I did always want you in my life; I still do, in whatever way possible." Amy asks if that means like friends. Ephram says maybe, but that's better than not at all, right? Amy says she
1 2 3 4