We open with a shot of a baby girl in a stroller. Her daddy smiles and plays with her. Irv tells us that fathers are in love with their daughters from the very beginning. More shots of daddies and little girls. Oh, we're in a bookshop. Irv says that no matter what they grow up to be, they're always "Daddy's Little Girl" to their fathers. Hey, that's the title of the episode, too! How clever of those writers! Also, the line Irv says is, "She makes him feel like Christmas." It made me feel like vomiting. Irv finishes by telling us that, in exchange for all of this, daddies make themselves a promise not to see their daughters' teenage awkwardness, their mistakes, or the secrets they keep. I'm pretty sure my dad broke that little promise as he was tearing me a new asshole for wrecking the car. Twice. We pan to another section of the bookshop, where Treat and Delia are arguing. Treat exposits, "Delia. This is your fourth-grade homework assignment, not your honors thesis." Delia tells Treat to pick her up so she can reach the higher shelves. She chooses a book about Golda Meir. Treat asks if she even knows who that is. She does, and she also knows who Peggy Fleming is. Delia explains, "I like to ice skate, and I'd like to run my own country some day. But not Israel. That one's too hard." Hee. Treat says he's going to go find her some anthologies, since it's one book with lots of stories. Delia keeps looking for heroes.
Well, well. Who should Treat run into but Rinda? And by "run into," I mean "actually run into, with the books falling out of Rinda's arms and Treat helping her pick them up and the fuck-me gaze into one another's eyes, which is totally not a cliché, and never has been." Rinda comments on Treat's interesting reading material "for a thirteen-year-old girl." Treat says he can explain. Rinda says she'd love to understand the connection between Mother Teresa and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Treat: "Daughter, homework, hero." Duh, Rinda. Rinda is reading The Web That Has No Weaver: Understanding Chinese Medicine. Oh, naturally. ["Although, if she's a practitioner of said medicine, shouldn't she be a little beyond books about 'understanding' it? Also, shut up, Rinda." -- Sars] Treat makes fun of it, as he should. Rinda says, "Did I judge Buffy?" Is your name Ace, Sep, or Couch Baron? Then no, you didn't, and you won't if you know what's good for you, Madame Mao. Treat says he was kidding, and isn't opposed to something new. He asks Rinda what her favorites are. Christ, here we go. She pulls about a hundred new age books off the shelf and hands them to Treat. Have fun with that, dude. You made your own bed. As they talk, Delia walks up. She gives Rinda a bad face. Treat introduces them. Delia gives the fakest smile ever and tells Rinda hi. Treat says they have to go get more books for Delia. Rinda tells Delia that it was nice to meet her. Delia replies with Eyes of Hate, and walks off. Irv says, "In exchange for her unconditional love…every father is oblivious to the changes in his daughter as she drifts further away from her childhood self, until she's too far away to pull back." Credits.
A swim meet? Okay. Bright and Amy get on their marks. Get set, go, and the Abbotts cheer wildly in the stands. Amy does okay until she's about halfway down the lane. Then she starts to drown. Wait, is this symbolic or something? Also, her hair is completely down, which has to interfere with her speed. And…cut to Amy, who is telling her dream to a counselor of some sort. Amy says it's stupid anyway, like, it's not like dreams MEAN anything or whatever. The counselor asks about the part where everyone passes her. Amy says that everyone is doing better than her, and it's a fact, that there's NOTHING she can do about it anyway, and she would do SOMETHING to make herself feel better if there were just SOMETHING she could do, blah blah blah someone-needs-antidepressants-cakes. The counselor, who is pretty and very familiar, suggests that Amy start coming to therapy twice a week instead of once. Amy brats out and rolls her eyes. "Dr. Lence" asks Amy to talk to her parents and think about it. Amy says she will. Sure.
Mama Joy's. Treat, Patch, and Rinda are eating together. Patch is in the middle with his tucked-in napkin. Such a cute dork. Treat and Rinda are arguing over Eastern and Western medicine and which one can beat the other one up. I refuse to recap it, because it's boring and retarded. The point is, Rinda thinks that for everything physical that's wrong with a patient, there's an underlying emotional reason. Patch can't take it anymore, and gets up to leave. Treat asks Rinda if they should tell him his napkin's still tucked into his collar. Heh.
Delia's classroom. Brittany asks Delia what she thinks about her new nail polish that her dad got her in Japan. Tiny Arnie volunteers, "My pencil box is from Japan." Brittany bitches, "No one's talking to you, Arnie." Man, I hate that little kid. Delia tries to act uninterested, but she's totally jealous. The teacher interrupts their nail polish discourse to ask if everyone's picked a hero for their project. Delia says that she has six favorites so far. The teacher tells her to try to narrow it down to one. The teacher's gray hair is totally sprayed on. What is wrong with the makeup and hair people at Everwood? Anyway, Bitchney says she's doing Mary-Kate and Ashley. Arnie is doing Jackie Chan, because "he broke every single bone in his body." Aw. And that reminds me of a funny joke I heard today. You're not allowed to say you already heard it, and you have to laugh. Ready?
Q: What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King?
A: Whop-PAH!
Hee. All of a sudden, Brittany speeyacks everywhere. Mmm, delicious! The teacher asks Delia to go get the nurse. Arnie looks on and comments, "Disgusting."
Cut to Amy, Laynie, and Bright at school. They're in the hall, talking, and Amy notices some guy at a locker. She asks Bright who it is. He doesn't know. Amy says that he's using Colin's locker, and the school promised that they wouldn't give it to anyone else. Laynie says she thought that was the case, but when Amy starts walking over to the guy, even Laynie has the good sense to call, "Amy, maybe you should just let it go." But does Amy let anything go? Of course not. She marches right up to the guy and asks if he's new. He is, and his name is Alan. Amy tells him that he must have gotten the wrong locker. Alan says that's the one they gave him. Amy insists that he does have the wrong one. Alan tries not to act creeped out, and asks her if she's joking. Or flirting, which is super-weird, but okay. Amy, who looks like hell and is being totally bitchy, says, "Do I LOOK like I'm flirting?" Bright walks over and tells Amy to leave the guy alone. Amy loses her shit and starts screaming at Alan that this locker is not his, and to go to the office and get it fixed. Chill the fuck OUT, Freak of the Week. Bright asks Amy if she's okay. She doesn't respond, and he says, "Hey! Look at me." Which is about the sweetest thing ever, and if Bright would fix his hair, I might love him. Amy says she's fine, but that "they promised." God. Shut up. Laynie says she's sure it was just a mix-up, and they go off to class.
Treat's Office. Brittany's dad explains that she's been having headaches, and he's worried that with the vomiting, it's something serious. Brittany bites her nails furiously. Treat says he isn't sure what the deal is, but he wants to run some tests. Brittany says she needs ice cream, like, bad. Treat offers to prescribe Ben & Jerry's for the pain. So she can grow up to self-medicate with food. Brittany's "mom" asks for more info on the headaches. Treat says if they give her anything stronger than Tylenol, she might not be able to function properly at school. Brittany says she HAS to be at school, because she has the best hero. Shut up, Brittany. Treat then suggests seeing Rinda to help Brittany with her headaches while they're waiting for the test results. Treat so wants to get laid.
Ugh. Brown House, with Madison Poppins just arriving. Ephram answers the door, and Madison says that maybe she should have her own key. Step off, Poppins. Also, she calls Ephram "Skippy," which just fuels my rage. Madison asks Delia what's up, and Delia pouts, "Nothing." Madison actually says the words "someone's got her grump on" with a straight face. She asks Delia if something happened at school. Delia says she's fine, and wants to know why everyone keeps asking her what's wrong. She leaves the room, and Madison asks Ephram if he knows what Delia's problem is. Ephram says if there's something wrong, Delia would tell him, and to go do her job. Madison says, "Ephram? Has anyone ever told you you have an old soul?" Ew, hate "old soul." Madison goes on to say that sometimes Ephram seems grown up, but then he starts acting like a shit and she remembers that he's just sixteen. And how old are YOU, Miss Can't-Stop-Talking-About-High-School? Ephram ignores her, as he should, and starts playing the piano. Commercial.
Diner. Rinda finds Treat at the counter and thanks him for the referral. Treat says he thought maybe she could help with Brittany's symptoms. Rinda fires back with, "Until you can discover the ideology and do some real healing?" Treat: "Well, yes." Hee. Rinda doesn't like. Rinda get snippy. Treat asks her if she'd like to compare notes on Brittany later. Rinda says she's busy. Treat keeps on, "Maybe over dinner?" Ooh. Rinda accepts, and even offers to bring vegetarian fare for her "strict diet." God. I'm sure she doesn't cook it over 118 degrees or some shit.
Cut to the counselor's office. Patch and Rose are there. Rose can't believe that Amy didn't tell them about "accosting another student." Amy says it wasn't a big deal, that she just lost her temper. Patch agrees with Amy, because he's got on his Unthinking Cap. Dr. Lence tells the Abbotts that the reason she wanted them there was to suggest that Amy start taking a short course of antidepressants to help her deal with her grief. Patch's jaw drops, and he stands up and tells Amy that she can go back to class. She does, and then Patch goes nuts on Dr. Lence. He tells her that no child of his is going on the crazy drugs, and blah blah he's a real doctor and he ain't trusting no psychologist blah blah, who can't even prescribe drugs blah blah antidepressants are dangerous blah blee bloo assholery. He stomps out, and Rose apologizes to Dr. Lence.
Brown House. Madison is helping Delia decide on a hero. She slams Eleanor Roosevelt. Eleanor "Kick-Ass Lady" Roosevelt, y'all. Ephram says she was a very impressive woman, and he likes her. That's my boy. Madison calls her a "glorified housewife" and thinks Delia should go with Margaret Sanger, and she and Ephram start to argue about who Delia should pick. Delia suggests Mandy Moore, and they both go, "NO!" Hee. Delia starts looking through the "Buffy the Musical" songbook, and Madison tells her to narrow it down to heroes who are at least real and three-dimensional. Stow it, Madison. Ephram answers the phone, and tells Madison to set an extra place for dinner, because Rinda is coming over. Delia wants to know why she's coming. Ephram says maybe she's hungry. Delia says she's going upstairs, and she hates her stupid project.
Madison asks Ephram if he knows Rinda, and he explains who she is. Madison crosses her arms and shakes her head knowingly. Ugh. She's all, "Are you dense? Delia isn't upset about her homework." Ephram doesn't understand what she's talking about. Miss Know-It-All explains that Delia's upset about Rinda and Treat maybe getting together. Ephram says they're just friends. Madison says that Delia doesn't know that, and in her mind Rinda is the same age as her mom would be, and it looks mighty different to a fourth-grader. Ephram says that Nina's around all the time, and it doesn't bother Delia. Madison says Nina isn't a threat, because she's "married" "with a kid." Finally, Ephram gets it. WE ALL GET IT. Madison tells Ephram, "Welcome to the world of complex emotions. How's it feel?" Ephram: "I'm tired." Hee.
The doorbell rings, and Ephram opens the door to find Rinda standing there, with many grocery bags. They introduce themselves, and say some banter about sticking people with needles, until Treat walks up, grins, and says, "I told you he was the fun one!" Rinda gives Treat the bedroom eyes. They walk into the kitchen, and Rinda shows them what she brought: potato tempeh loaf, millet pilaf, and baked potato spinach wraps. I guess that's what all the TV vegetarians are eating up these days. Treat jokes, "Mmm. Who doesn't love a good millet?" Change that to "mullet," and I'm there. Business in the front, party in the back, y'all. Who can resist? Treat tells his kids that dinner's ready. We pan through a door to Delia, who's eavesdropping sulkily.
Dinner table. Oh, it's a trick! It's not the Browns, it's the Abbotts! Gah. Amy picks at her food and asks if she may be excused. Rose starts to say that she hasn't even touched her food, but Patch gives her a "Why start?" gesture, so she interrupts herself and tells Amy it's fine. Patch says he'd like more delicious yams, and Rose snarks, "Why don't you take Amy's? She didn't eat any of hers." Bright's all, "I'll take Amy's!" and Rose tells him to stop it. She says the point is that Amy didn't eat, again, and they need to take note of it. Patch says he's aware of it, and it's normal. Rose says none of it's normal, that it's been over five months, and Amy isn't any better. She thinks Amy should just try the antidepressants. Patch doesn't, again. He calls Dr. Lence "a public employee with a mail-order degree," then asks Rose where she got hers, "Ladies' Home Journal?" Ouch. Watch it, Patch, your curly little tail is showing. Patch rants some more about the dangers of drugs, and Rose says she doesn't care how much he knows, she's not letting him bully her into changing her opinion. Bright says maybe if the pills make Amy feel better, she should try them. Patch: "When did our home become the Valley of the Dolls?" Heh. Patch tells Bright to go to his room, so he and Rose can fight some more. Which they do. Rose says Dr. Lence might be right, that they've lost perspective as Amy's parents. Patch disagrees. Duh. Rose gets all sad here that Patch always makes the decisions for Amy without her, and that she's really "his" daughter. Patch looks guilty. Rose walks away.
And now, dinner at the Brown House. They gingerly try Rinda's weird-ass food. Delia just plays with hers. Treat tries to make conversation with her, but Delia just brats it up. Rinda offers that when she was young, she wanted to be Nadia Comaneci. She says that her parents couldn't pry her away from the TV during the Olympics. Delia: "The Olympics are stupid." Damn. Treat starts asking Rinda about Brittany, and Delia perks up, "MY Brittany?" Treat says he asked Rinda to help him figure out how to make Brittany better. Rinda says the session went well, along with some other babble about her kidney channel. She is then kind of funny when she says, "Also, my Ouija Board spelled 'kidney.'" Heh. Ephram smiles to himself. He yikes her! Rinda thinks there might be an emotional component. Treat asks if it might be psychosomatic, and Delia says, "Brittany is NOT a psycho." Everyone stares at the baby. Rinda apologizes to Delia, and says it's rude of them to talk about her friend. She's totally trying to be so nice, and I feel sorry for her. She asks Delia if she'd like some more potatoes, and Delia's all, "Gross, NO." Wow! I don't like Smart-Ass Delia. Treat tells her to quit, and to eat her dinner. Delia says it tastes like shit. No, seriously. She says "shit," and it's funny. Ephram chokes from trying not to laugh. Treat says, "WHAT?" Delia tells us all again, "I said, it tastes like shit." Whee! Adolescent cussin'! Everyone tries not to laugh, except Treat, who yells at her to go to her room, and for Ephram to stop laughing, and go to HIS room. Treat looks mortified, and we go to commercial.
Delia's Room. She's painting her fingernails with some blue polish. Treat walks in, and tells her that they have to talk about what happened. Delia says she doesn't want to if he doesn't. Treat asks why her room smells like paint thinner. Delia says it's Brittany's nail polish that she borrowed. Treat takes it from her, and says she's talking to him now. He tells her that he doesn't know what's gotten into her, but whatever it is, her behavior has to change. Delia says she understands. Treat says if she'd apologized, she might not be grounded, but now she's got herself a week with no phone or TV. He starts to walk out, and Delia tells him that he can't keep Brittany's nail polish. Treat says he'll makes sure she gets it back. I smell a MEOWsolution.
Amy and Laynie, at the Harts'. A sad strummy song plays, and Amy says she loves how depressing the song is. Laynie offers to copy it for her. But, Laynie, that's ILLEGAL! Laynie flops down on the bed to Amy and asks how the therapy session went with her parents. Amy tells her about the antidepressant thing. Laynie recites the most recent commercial for Zoloft, saying that she started taking them a couple months ago, and that they make her sleep better, not cry as much, and help her stay focused. Oy. Amy can't believe it. Laynie offers to show the pills to her. I'm sure. It's not crack cocaine. "Wanna see how I burn this heroin with a match and a spoon?" Laynie shows Amy the bottle, which says on the label that Patch prescribed the drugs for Laynie. A thought bubble appears over Amy's head that reads, "Perhaps I should ask my dad to prescribe me some ZOLOFT, since ZOLOFT worked so well for Laynie. I believe that ZOLOFT just might be the antidepressant for me. Boy, do I love Pfizer. Thanks, Pfizer, for inventing ZOLOFT!"
Back to the Browns. Ephram asks Treat, "So, you grounded Delia?" Treat says he did. Ephram then basically recites exactly what Madison Poppins told him earlier about Rinda being Delia's problem. Treat even says the same thing about Nina that Ephram says, which of course Ephram has a rote reply for. Treat eventually believes, and asks Ephram if he figured all this out himself. Ephram admits Madison helped him. I'd have liked it better if he'd totally taken all the credit, but you can't have it all.
Treat's Office. Rinda's there, and he's all excited about showing her Brittany's blood work. Rinda looks at it and says, "What possessed you to test for toluene toxicity?" Treat: "Genius?" He fesses up that when he was in Delia's room the other night, it smelled so toxic in there that the bottle should have had a skull and crossbones on it. I told you that nail polish had something to do with it! Heh. Anyway, Treat says that Brittany has a nail-biting habit, and ingesting the toluene is what's giving Brittany the headaches and whatnot, and then Rinda gets all het up because Treat thinks she's all fixed, and she thinks there's an underlying emotional issue to the nail-biting. Treat, as usual, thinks he's totally right. Rinda get mad! She storm away!
Abbott House. Amy busts into Patch's office, looking like a hundred shades of bad. Patch asks her what happened. Amy says she wants "the medication." She doesn't care what kind it is, she just wants it. Patch says he is not giving her antidepressants. Amy says she wants them; they'd help her to sleep, eat, and focus, so she doesn't fail out of school. Patch wants to know since when she's having grade problems. Um, since she went INSANE? Amy says he can see her progress report if he wants, but just give her the damn pills. Patch refuses. He says their family doesn't believe in medicating teenagers. Oh, really? Amy pulls out Laynie's prescription bottle, with Patch's name right on it. Patch says that Laynie's different than Amy, because she's not as strong. Amy wants Patch to explain why he'd help her friends and not his own daughter. She tells him how stupid she's felt the past few months, when everyone around her was getting better, moving on, and wondering what was wrong with her. Emily VanCamp is acting the SHIT out of this. She tells her dad that he never helped her, just let her think she was crazy. Patch tells her she's not crazy. Amy: "How would you know? You don't know anything about me anymore." Ow. Amy says she's not who she used to be, and hasn't been for a long time. She says that she hates feeling this way, and just wants to feel better. Patch says Amy has a support system, whereas the Harts are totally dysfunctional. He tells her to trust him, that he can help her. Amy tells her dad that he's not enough. And he's not, really. Girl needs to be on some meds, is all I am saying. Amy tells Patch that she never thought he was the kind of father who would let his ego come before his family, so they're even. She doesn't know him anymore, and he doesn't know her. Whew. Commercial.
Treat's Office. He's telling Brittany's parents the deal. Her dad can't believe he was poisoning his own daughter. He says he'll leave the cosmetics up to Dena from now on. Brittany says, "I don't want Dena's! They're not as good." Uh, Dena's sitting right to you, Rude. Brittany's dad tells her not to start, please. They get up to leave, and Treat asks to talk to the dad for just a second. He asks about Brittany and Dena. Brittany's dad says he just got remarried, and that Brittany's mom moved away a while back. Treat asks if he can remember when Brittany first started biting her nails. Dad says he thinks it was right about when he and Dena got married. Eureka! Underlying emotional problem! Treat has an epiphany, and advises Brit's dad to go visit Rinda, of course. Sucker.
Abbott House. Rose tells Patch she's going to bed, and that she told Bright he could stay at the library until ten. Bright still studies! Patch says he takes it Amy's still mad at him, and is probably sticking pins in a voodoo doll she made in his likeness. Rose: "She didn't have to. She borrowed mine." Hee! Rose says Patch dug himself into this hole, and she's sure he can find a way out. Patch tells her that he made his decision for a reason, and she must know he at least considered the possibility of putting Amy on antidepressants. Rose says she doesn't know a damn thing, because he never talks to her about it. Patch says he feels completely useless not being able to help Amy. Rose says it's the depth of Amy's feeling that concerns her; Bright lost his best friend and is doing way better than Amy is. Patch says he just can't consider numbing Amy's grief with pills. Rose asks, "Then, why Laynie?" Patch says that after a long conversation with Laynie and her mom, he agreed to write the prescription, but that he never would have done it as her father. He says when it came to Amy, he made the choice as her father, not her doctor. He tells Rose, "She hates me. I think I'm losing her, Rose." Rose says, "No, Harold. We're losing her." Aw. Great scene.
Delia's room. She's lying in bed. Treat hands her a bottle of nail polish. She asks what it's for. Treat says he bought it for her so she wouldn't have to borrow anyone else's. Delia says it's not the same as Brittany's. Damn, ungrateful. Say thank you. Treat tells her it's the less toxic kind. Heh. Treat sits down and tells Delia that he knows what's been bothering her lately; that he made a new friend. Delia practically spits, "Linda." Treat says that she's just a friend, and as a colleague, they'll have to collaborate from time to time. Delia asks her dad if he will ever date or get married again. He says he doesn't know if he'll get married again, but he'll have to have a date first. And if he decides to go on dates, he says, he'll talk to her and Ephram about it first. Delia says that would be okay, but he has to promise that he'll never, ever go out with Linda. Does he promise? No one knows, because we immediately cut to the scene.
It's Amy's drowning dream again. As she goes under, guess who she sees? That's right, kids. Her dead boyfriend. Colin swims towards her, smiling. He motions for her to follow him, and starts swimming to the shallow end. Amy follows, and we fade up to reality. Amy lies awake in bed, and Sad Violin of Grief plays in the background.
Bookshop. Treat finds Rinda reading. He tells her, "You were right. I was wrong." Rinda says it must have caused Treat physical pain to say that sentence. Heh. Treat says he might have internal bleeding. He tells her about Brittany and her mommy issues, and that's why she's right. He says he's been wrong about a lot of things lately, like that Delia's being upset was really all about Rinda. Rinda says as innocently as she can, "What about me?" Treat laughs and says nervously, "She thought that you and I were…uh…anyway, you get the idea. She made me promise we'd never go out on a date, you believe that?" Rinda says she's sure that's a promise he won't have any trouble keeping. Treat grins. "Right." He tells her to enjoy her reading, and walks out, wishing he could totally do Rinda on the table.
Cut to Delia's classroom. Brittany is giving her hero speech. She finishes talking about her heroes Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, then does a little curtsey and sits her sassy self down. The teacher introduces the last speaker, Delia Brown. Aw, shit. Delia's dressed in a little button-up shirt, pearls, and a flippy hairdo. She looks like a miniature member of the Junior League, but we all know what's coming. Treat, Ephram, and Madison stand in the back, looking on proudly. Delia begins: "My hero was born on April 29, 1958 in Wilton, Connecticut. She wore pearl earrings almost every day, and wouldn't take them off, even in the shower. She was tall and beautiful and funny, and her name was Julia Brown. A year and a half ago, she died. Before that, she did a lot of amazing things. I'd like to tell you about some of them today." You may all begin weeping…now. As the camera closes in on Treat, who has his own little tear, Irv tells us, "Some fathers may enjoy the pedestal their daughters place them on. But the best ones step down and allow their flaws to be seen. It is from these unsung fathers that daughters learn what's most important in this life: how to embrace joy, how to endure sorrow, and how to live each day to the fullest, not knowing which of those two is on the horizon."
week on Everwood: Madison tries to get up on my boyfriend Ephram. This isn't going to be pretty.