We open with Irv telling us about how man is fascinated by the nighttime sky. "Ancient peoples believed that the heavens were ruled by a pantheon of gods, while others thought that the stars were diamonds, dangling just out of reach." Amy and Feisty Nurse Edna are driving in Edna's truck at night. Amy's actually kind of cutely talking about Colin, and how her dad doesn't understand. Edna says she gets why Amy might want to "grab [Patch] by the hair and beat his head against the wall until he barks like a fox." Foxes bark? I had no idea. Edna says the trick is not to let Patch get to Amy; she says "it's all about power." Which makes me sad, because now I'm worried that Feisty Nurse Edna might be the First Evil. Amy tells her grandmother that she's the only person in the family who has even tried to see her side, and really "gets" her. Edna snorts. As well she should. Amy invites Edna and Irv over for dinner the night. Edna says Patch might be pissed. Amy says that'd be a bonus.
Edna's phone rings. It's Colin. Amy says she gave him Edna's cell number so he could reach her. Christ. Amy fawns all over the phone, when Edna suddenly pulls the truck off the road. They both jump out and stare at the sky. It's some crazy glowy golden swirly thing. Irv tells us that modern science is more helpful than ever before in unraveling the mysteries of the night sky. Edna asks Amy what the hell it is, but Amy's already back in the car talking to Colin again. Ugh. Irv reminds us that "the closer we get to the stars, the less we actually understand them." Credits.
Brown house. Treat has made what looks like a crepe, but turns out to be an omelet. He gives it to Delia and tells her to be "honest, but constructive." She tastes it and hesitantly declares it edible. Ephram, Eeee! comes down and asks Treat if he remembered to pick up his suit. Treat says he picked both of theirs up, and asks Ephram if dark blue is appropriate for an Everwood recital. Uh, what? Since when are there appropriate recital colors? Do they not let you in if you're wearing pinstripes? Treat says he cancelled all of his appointments for Friday, because he doesn't want anything to interfere with the recital. Ephram says it isn't a big deal, but you know it totally is. Delia wants to know if Ephram gets to do the "finale," because he "always gets to do the finale." She says it means he's the best. Ephram says he doesn't know yet, and as he'll be playing "with guys named Billy Jack," it's not as great in Everwood. Heh. Billy Jack Bitch? He asks Treat how many people he invited, and Treat says, "Don't you trust me?" Ephram: "No." Treat says he invited Nina, Sam, Edna, Irv, and Harry. Ephram asks who Harry is. Treat: "Look, if you don't want Harry to come, I'll uninvite him, but he's going to be very upset." Hee. Ephram tells Treat if he sees one video camera, he's walking out. He also reminds Treat that he's in charge of cups. Delia tells Treat she's got his back. Aw.
Treat's office. Treat tells a giant bearded man that he's never met a real lumberjack before, even though this is totally the same guy from last week's episode, when Treat was treating (hee!) the tree-living hippie. We remember, Berlanti! Don't treat us like dummies! Lumberjack and his tiny tiny wife, Betsy, tell Treat that LJ has all this bruising on his chest and stomach. Treat wants to run tests, but LJ says that he has to go to Alaska to work for a couple of months, since things are slow around Everwood. Betsy isn't having it. She insists that LJ stay until they know for sure what's wrong. Gah. This MEOW is going to MESUCK.
Abbott House of Tense Family Dinners. Edna is trying to describe to Irv what the weird sky thing looks like. Bright says the only explanation is aliens. As he says this, he's making his mashed potatoes into a miniature version of the Close Encounters Tower. Either that, or the Abbotts are having Liver Pate En Masque for dinner. Patch reprimands Bright for being silly. Bright asks Patch who he thinks the little green men are going to ask to board the mothership first. Amy: "We should be so lucky." God, shut up. Again with the daddy hate. And I'll tell you another thing: If she knew what side her bread were buttered on, she'd be damn nice to her daddy, because Patch clearly adores her and she's about to ruin it. Irv wonders why they have to figure it out at all; he says there are lots of things that can't be explained: "Stonehenge, crop circles, Edna's aversion to cooking..." Heh. I love that Edna doesn't cook. Edna snarks that Irv doesn't exactly look like he's starving. Patch says he hates to end the "aimless debate," but that it's clear that the thing in the sky is the Aurora Borealis. Amy tells Patch that he's wrong. Then she launches into a tedious and bore-ealis speech about how it couldn't possibly be the Northern Lights, and I don't really care why, so I think I won't tell you. Bright calls her "Miss Honors Science," and she tells Bright that God had to do something with the other half of his brain. I wish he would hit her.
Amy suddenly tells her grandmother that she thinks they should go out together and figure out what the sky thing is all about. Edna looks interested, and not just a little bit happy. Patch says that Amy can't do anything, because she's grounded. She apparently broke her curfew and stayed at Colin's too late. Of course. Amy says it's not like she's going to be doing anything that counts as "fun, no offense." Edna laughs and says, "None taken." To give her credit, Amy is very good at making shit up that her parents will believe. They're looking like they are going to let her go. Bright: "Do you think if aliens probed you, you would still be a virgin?"
Ephram and the other students are in an auditorium, rehearsing. Some kid who looks like he might have eaten Delia is plinking out the saddest little tune I think I've ever heard. Ephram asks him if that's his recital piece. The kid says, "No! I've got something really exciting planned. 'Axel F' from Beverly Hills Cop!" Oh, man. I think every piano student in the universe played that song at some point or another. That, and "Memory" from Cats. My favorite part was the big finale on the "Touch meeeeee! It's so easy to leeeeeave me!" verse. I rocked that bitch, and don't you forget it. ["Don't forget the Hill Street Blues theme, a bitch that I myself rocked on one occasion." -- Sars] Big Gay Asshole (who, it seems, is not as gay as previously thought, so you can insert your own "G" word there if you like) comes in and tells the group that they've got two days to rehearse, so they'll split up into groups of two, and the first person will be a page-turner for the other. He says he will give them the order in which they'll play on Friday. So I guess this is Wednesday? Also, when did I become Pamie? Why am I worried about the timeline? BGA tells Ephram that he's with "Kate," a little redheaded girl standing to him. Ephram and Kate tell each other hi, and Ephram tells Kate that she can play first. Kate says she's been playing with BGA for a couple of years, and soon enough we'll find out just how true that statement really is. And as a side note, I think Kate might be a robot. This girl has all the spunk of a bag of very boring dirt. She sits down to play, and -- surprise! -- starts to rock. Ephram looks stunned. Kate looks like she might pee on herself. BGA looks on in the background. Ephram looks at Kate in shock and awe. Commercials.
Back at the Brown house, Treat walks in and shows Delia the millions of cups he's bought for the recital. He says he didn't know which kind to buy, so he bought all of them. Aw, look at the overcompensating former bad daddy! Delia skeptically tells Treat that he might have to take some back. Ephram: "Either that or throw a kegger." He cutely grabs one of the cups and gets himself some water. That has nothing to do with the plot, but sometimes we need to be reminded of Ephram's adorable ways. Treat says the cups are for the guests, that he sent out invitations, and four people already RSVPed. Ephram tells him to get them back. Treat doesn't understand. Ephram says he's decided he didn't want anybody there. Treat asks why. Ephram says he just doesn't, okay? Treat: "Does this have something to do with Mom? I know your last recital..." Ephram: "No, it's got nothing to do with that. That's not what everything's about." Oh, man. Break my heart. Treat asks what it is about, then. Ephram says that just because it's not about his mom doesn't mean he's going to tell. He walks out, and Delia tells her dad, "We could throw a pregger!" Hee.
God. Cut to the "Everwood Pinecone," whose headline reads something about aliens invading Everwood. Tons of people are out in the streets, buying alien dolls and other memorabilia. Silly outer space music plays. Patch drives through the crowd and under a giant banner that says "Welcome to Everwood" in alien font. Patch parks and rolls his eyes at the "tie-dyed space freaks." No shit. Some hippie says something about "power vortices," and Patch says, "Power vortices? Is that something you picked up in Ben & Jerry's physics class?" Heh. Patch tells him that there is no life in outer space, "DUDE." Treat calls from across the street, "According to Carl Sagan there is other life in the universe." Patch says he knew he could expect that kind of talk from Treat. Treat tells Patch he knows that if there were an alien race that didn't watch Joe Millionaire, he'd be all over it. Patch says he'd have been beamed up long ago if that were true, but it ain't.
Treat's Office of Lumberjack Wackiness. He's stitching up LJ, and says his problem is obviously something other than a vitamin deficiency. Betsy wants to know if it could be aliens. Oh, whatever. Shut up, Betsy. Treat says if he had to bet on a fight between aliens and LJ, he'd pick LJ every time. Edna smarts that they could always bring in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster for questioning. Heh. Treat asks LJ how he sleeps, and if he ever sleepwalks. LJ says he used to, but that he and Betsy are super-heavy sleepers now. Treat says he wants to do a sleep clinic nevertheless, and that way maybe they can find out what's wrong. Treat gives LJ a Treat-smile and says, "I'll bring the milk, you bring the cookies." Gah. I want to hate his cheesy lines, I do! Why does Treat have to be so cute, damn it?
High school. Amy finds an invitation to Ephram's recital in her locker. Goodness, those are fine invitations for such short notice. Amy looks at it and says to herself, "Oh! Ephram's recital. Cool." Nice one, Mistress Obvious. She sees Ephram in the hall, and he tells her he didn't know Treat sent her an invitation. Amy tells him to consider her RSVPed. Ephram: "Sure about that?" Amy says of course she is. Ephram says he doesn't know if it's the best idea for her to be there. He tells her that he appreciates her trying to act like everything's normal with the "whole Colin thing," but it's not, and a break from each other might be the best thing right now. Amy tells him he guesses she's right. She leaves, and Ephram rolls his eyes at his own self. Aw. Come over here, boo, I'll make it better. Ephram sees KateBot walking down the hall towards him. Because she's always been in Everwood at the same school, and he's never noticed another person who's a piano whiz. Riiiiight. Ephram tells her hi, and says he's never noticed her before. Kate says, "Should you have?" Except she is so monotone that it sounds like, "Shoojooav?" I sort of hate her. Ephram says he likes to know when he's in the presence of greatness. KateBot nods and doesn't care. Ephram tells her she was amazing at rehearsal. Kate: "So you didn't notice that my dynamics were off, my fingering was wrong, and I rushed the tempo on the allegra?" Shut up, KateBot. Also, take that giant braid out of your hair, Willie Nelson. Ephram says he's just glad he's not going to have to follow her. KateBot says there's no way she's going to play the finale, BGA knows what he's doing, blah blah blah. She walks off. Ephram stares after her. He thinks of his recapper girlfriend whom he NEVER CALLS CALL ME EPHRAM, and a little tear rolls down his cheek.
Mama Joy's Diner. There's a line out the door because of all the alien freaks in town. Patch pushes his way in, and sighs when he sees that the only seat available is across from Treat. He sits down and tells Treat, "This is maybe the first time this year that you are not the craziest person in Mama Joy's." Treat: "Thanks!" Hee. Treat tells Patch that he has to "disinvite" him from the recital. He says he has no choice. Patch says he takes the "crazy" comment back. Treat says he can't figure out what Ephram wants. Patch blows it off as nervousness. Chuck the Lumberjack rushes up to tell Treat that he needs to cancel their sleep clinic, and wonders if they can do it the night after. Treat says it's no problem, and LJ leaves smiling. Patch stares at Treat. "What were we just talking about?" Treat finally remembers that the night is Ephram's recital. He looks at Patch and says, "I don't suppose you've ever run a sleep clinic?" Patch says he's not doing it. Treat tells Patch about LJ's mysterious problem, and worries that if he waits too long, the Everwood lights will disappear, and with it, LJ's bruises. He goes on to say that tiny Betsy is convinced that aliens did this to her husband, so much so that it's going to be in the Pinecone. Patch relents, and says the only reason he'll do it is to disprove the yo-yos who believe in aliens. Hee. Patch got tricked.
Abbott House. Amy and Edna are in Amy's room, trying to find something on the internet about Everwood's weird sky thing. Edna's asking why something isn't possible. Amy tells her that blah blah blah too high above the Earth's surface, atmosphere blah blah, and the Everwood lights are too bright for blah. Did you get all that? Meanwhile, Amy's chatting on IM with Colin, who is asking if they've found anything. I'd like to take this time to tell you that, due to TiVo's fabulous slow-motion capabilities, Colin's accident left him with the deeply sad notion that "LOL," "IMHO," and animated smileys are actually used by normal people. Chat much, Everwood writers? Edna asks Amy what the IM window is. Amy lies that it's "just an internet thing." Amy says that they've gone about as far as they can on the researching. Edna says she has to find out what it is, otherwise she'll lose her bet with Irv and he'll make her cook three meals a week for him. Amy suggests that they camp out and do some field research, and that it will be fun. Patch walks in and interrupts that Amy is grounded and can't go anywhere. Edna says that where they're going, there are no phones, no televisions, and with Edna as chaperone, it'll be more like prison than an actual prison. Edna's good. Amy says it'll be practically like homework. Patch says she can go, but since it's like homework, he wants a thousand-word report on his desk by Monday explaining what they did. Damn! He tells Amy to take it or leave it. She says she'll take it. This episode is so boring.
Recital hall. KateBot is playing again. BGA watches her play, and it sounds to me like she's kicking ass, but he tells her that she was "better, but not up to snuff." He says she better practice some more before Friday. Christ on a Big Wheel. Stupid, stupid, stupid. BGA gives the playing order, and he gives Ephram the finale. BGA tells Ephram to do them proud. KateBot drones, "What'd I tell you?" and flounces out. Commercials.
Recital hall, again. Ephram is playing. He's so fine. When he finishes, BGA claps and tells him, "Bravo." Ephram says, "Thank you. No, thank you. I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank Mama Joy's for supporting my french fry habit, and I'd like to thank my piano teacher Matt for taking a chance on a no-name." Aw. He forgot to thank me. Just like Jennifer Aniston forgot to thank Brad Pitt! That's how much he loves me. BGA says he did great, and Ephram says he's not the best player, though. He asks BGA why he got the finale. BGA says that KateBot's talent comes from hours of practice, but Ephram has a gift. "Sucks for her, cool for you. Such is life." Uh huh. Ephram tries to believe him, and asks what they're going to tackle , because he's "not loving Schubert right now." BGA says that won't be up to him. He tells Ephram that he's leaving, because he got another job in London. Ephram can't believe it. He says it happened kind of fast. BGA says it's something he can't pass up. Ephram says it's going to suck, losing one of the three people in Everwood he can carry on a conversation with. BGA says that's why God invented email. Ooh! Now there's an idea. EMAIL ME, EPHRAM! MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE, OR YOU GOT A REALLY SHITTY LONG-DISTANCE PLAN! EMAIL IS FREE! DO NOT IGNORE THIS MESSAGE! Ephram starts to play again, and BGA watches him sadly.
Cut to Amy and Edna, packing up Edna's truck. Edna says they need a better look at the lights, so she packed her telescope, and they're going to take pictures, too. Amy says, "Great idea! Why don't you go on ahead, and I will meet you later to take the pictures. I'm better with the camera anyway." And also better at giving your grandmother the shaft, you little shit. Edna says, "Where are you going to be?" Amy says she's going to go help Colin for a test they have, because she knows Edna understands that her being grounded is another one of Patch's lame power moves. Edna looks like she just ate a big old bowl of fuck you. She tells Amy if she thought she could manipulate her into letting Amy see Colin, she's damn wrong. Edna says the whole "X-Files reunion tour" thing was just a plot to use her. Amy says she's not using Edna; she needs her. Edna: "Sell that to someone who buys malarkey." Heh. Hit her! Hit her! Edna tells Amy to get'n the truck (Sissy). Amy asks if she can at least call Colin and tell him she's not coming. Edna says nope. Amy tells Edna to just take her home. God, bratty. Edna, again, says nope. She says they're going camping whether Amy likes it or not. Amy tries to argue, but Edna yells, "TRUCK!" Yay! Keep talking like that to her, Feisty Lady. She needs a close encounter with the back of your hand, too.
Cut to The Brown House of Dress-Up. Treat is trying to tie a ribbon into Delia's hair, and she squeals that he's hurting her. Treat's on the phone talking to Patch about the sleep clinic with LJ, and tells Delia to tie her own ribbon. She flings her little head around and starts to tie it herself. Ephram walks in, all dressed up in his suit. Excuse me, I have to go breathe into a paper bag for a minute. H-O-T, HOT, y'all. How did this happen to me? Treat tells him he's looking sharp, and asks if he's ready. Ephram says he "had a couple belts of whiskey" to take the edge off. Treat: "Good." Hee. Treat says he dropped off the cups at the concert hall, so that should all be taken care of. Ephram tells his dad that he's done a fine job with the cups, and that "Mom would be proud." Treat laughs. I cry a little. Ephram asks Treat how many people RSVPed for the recital. Treat asks him if that's a trick question. He says that Ephram asked him to uninvite everyone the day before, so he did. Ephram asks disappointedly, "Oh. You did?" Treat says he did what Ephram told him to. Oh, Treat. Don't you know when to listen and when not to? You'll learn, sweet grasshopper. Ephram says it's no big deal, but it really is. Treat asks if he's sure, because there's still time. Ephram says it's fine, and leaves for the recital. He's so sad! But it's kind of his own fault! But it's kind of Treat's! But I love them both! What do I do?
Treat's office. Patch slurps his coffee drink and watches LJ toss and turn on a tiny cot. He shakes his head and goes back to his book. LJ gets up and says he can't sleep without his Betsy. Patch: "You must be KIDDING." Heh. LJ says he needs her to put his arm around. Patch says he could light some candles or read Goodnight Moon. He carries a pillow in to LJ, and says, "You have to have Betsy?" LJ looks at Patch and says he appreciates the offer, but he really needs his wife. Patch: "I was going to offer you a pillow." He doesn't say "fuckwit" at the end of that sentence, but I heard it. Patch suggests they get up and go find "your Betsy."
Cut to Edna and Amy, camping in the middle of a million hippie alien people. Amy says, "So much for having the place to ourselves." She asks for some hot chocolate. Edna tells her to knock herself out, but what she really means is, "Please let me knock your bitchy self out." A lady comes up and asks them for matches. Edna tells her, "Sure." Strange Lady keeps blabbing, then says, "That reminds me of my fourth abduction...or was it my third?" Aigh! This is so silly. Strange Lady reaches out to Amy and says, "You have SUCH PRETTY HAIR!" Amy recoils in horror. She tells the lady to keep the matches. Edna says they might not be sleeping tonight. Amy cheeses that at least the lights got everyone together tonight. They suddenly hear someone screaming their names. Treat runs up and tells Edna he needs Amy to go to Ephram's recital. Amy says she thought Ephram didn't want anyone there, but Treat says he knows Ephram, and he knows he'd want her there. He tells her that whatever Ephram says about his recital, to do the exact opposite. Amy says she promised her grandmother she'd stay with her, but Edna assures them she can defend the universe from an alien invasion all by herself. Amy hugs Edna and tells her that she'll be back right after the recital. Aw.
Concert hall. Ephram, looking every bit my boyfriend in his suit, wanders around backstage looking for BGA. He has a gift in his hand. The Kid Who Ate Everwood tells him BGA's downstairs. Ephram looks in a few different rooms, and finally finds BGA in an office, where he happens to be mugging down with the KateBot. EW. Ephram freaks, slams the door, and runs off to throw up in the bathroom. Just kidding. I did that. Music Of Inappropriate Relationships plays as we go to commercials.
We come back to a shot of stage lights, panning down to Ephram playing the finale. He is perfect, and the audience is entranced. Gregory Smith is also doing the fake playing much better. I just want to make out with him a little bit, okay? God. KateBot watches from the wings and smiles her little robot smile as he finishes. Ephram stands up to take a bow, and gets a standing ovation. Treat is so happy, he pees a little bit. When Ephram walks backstage, KateBot tells him how great he was. He "whatevers" her, and she says she really, really means it. Shut up, Kate. She asks him what his problem is. Ephram tells her they both know that the only reason he got the finale is because BGA didn't want to blow his and KateBot's cover. KateBot says Ephram's performance was awesome, and that he earned it. Ephram says he doesn't need a damn pep talk, and that it's super-obvious what she's doing, and he feels sorry for her that she's so naive. KateBot tells him that she's rubber, and he's glue. Ephram says if she can't figure out why twenty-eight-year-old guys date high school girls, he can't help her. KateBot says they're in love, and the reason BGA is leaving is because her dad found out about them. She asks him who the naive one is now, and walks away. Dear Kate: I know you may have heard this before, but please, please shut up. You're ruining everything, and I hate you. Also, I am sorry that you shop at Dress Barn. ALSO, shut it. Thanks for reading! Love, The Universe, And Also Those Weird Lights In Everwood, And Maybe Some Aliens.
LJ's house. Patch starts to nod off, when he hears a thumping sound. He gets up and looks out the window. The lights in the sky are all swirly and whatnot. He says to himself, "Sweet Betsy," and goes to check on LJ and his teeny wife. Did I mention that she's tiny? Well, she's also beating the crap out of her husband in her sleep. Which is retarded, but I don't make this stuff up; I just report it. Patch tries to wake her up and stop her, but she swings her arm around and decks him in the eye. Patch fall down. AB Chao groan.
Morning at the campground. Edna tells Amy that she forgot to bring eggs, so they're having "rancheros without the huevos" for breakfast. She asks how the recital was. Amy said it was awesome, and that Ephram blew her away. She says he's going to be bigger than "Tori Amos or that guy from Shine." Huh? Whatever. I'm not even going to try to figure it out. Amy says she doesn't understand why Edna wouldn't let her see Colin, but was fine with her going to watch Ephram's recital. Edna says that Amy and her dad both have tunnel vision so badly that they focus on one thing, and can't see anything else around them. She says that Amy's tunnel leads to Colin, and Colin only. She also says that there's a very fine line between devotion and obsession. And I'm super-glad Edna told her that, but I've been there for years, y'all. Edna tells Amy that lots of people need her besides Colin, and that last night Ephram needed her more than anyone, and she was there for him. She says that's the Amy she has always been, and Edna just didn't want her to forget. Amy says, "So basically you're saying that there's more to life than boys?" Edna: "If you want to be succinct about it, sure." They laugh, and share a little moment. Icky.
Suddenly Amy stands up and starts staring at the ground. She tells Edna to look at all the moths around them. There are a bazillion moths all over the place, in the trees, and everything. Edna says it's nasty. Amy says, "No! It's the answer!" She reminds Edna of some article they read about how swarms of bugs can get caught in an electrical field, and glow. She says that they travel in a mass, which explains all the alien theories. Edna says, "And disproves them!" They get all excited that they've solved the mystery, and Edna says she should have bet Irv TWO months of foot rubs. Amy says maybe they shouldn't tell Irv, or anybody -- that maybe people would be happier thinking that there's still something magical in the world. Edna: "You're on, sport." They giggle, and hug. It's sort of sweet. NO! It's dumb! It's ridiculous! Shut up, AB Chao! Just shut up! This show will not suck you in with its saccharine endings!
Recital hall, backstage. Ephram finds BGA and tells him he wants some honesty. He tells BGA that he lied to him, and to KateBot. BGA says, "And why should I be honest?" Ephram says he deserves it. BGA says he doesn't, not where he and KateBot are concerned, but when it came to the music, he was always honest. Leave now, BGA. Ephram says the music doesn't matter, and that he trusted BGA about life, and people, and everything. BGA says he's Ephram's friend. Ephram isn't having it. BGA tells Ephram, "You know what used to be cool about you, Ephram? You didn't act your age." Oh, kind of like how you acted YOUR age when you started shagging a junior in HIGH SCHOOL? Right. Ephram asks BGA how he lives with himself. BGA tells him it's not his problem. Ephram says he's only worried about KateBot. BGA tells him to call him in ten years, when he's done things he never thought possible, and they can compare notes. Ephram: "Screw you." Man, I wish they could say "fuck" on here. Ephram starts to walk out. BGA stops him and tells him that he's a much better pianist now than he was two months ago, and BGA did what he was hired to do. Ephram gives him the stink-eye and says, "Is that what you were hired to do for Kate?" Oh, snap.
Mama Joy's. Treat sits down to Patch and his big black eye, and asks him how it went with LJ. Patch tells him that it was Betsy with the problem all along. He says that Betsy has an REM behavior disorder. Treat: "People acting out their dreams?" Patch says he thinks that Betsy was acting out her anger at LJ for leaving her to go to Alaska. Treat asks what he prescribed for her. Patch says, "A punching bag for Betsy, plenty of Tylenol for Chuck, and a promise that he will stay in town for the time being." Heh. Patch says that he himself is going back to his original regimen, which is staying as far away from Treat as is humanly possible. He holds his cold glass against his eye and leaves. Poor, funny Patch.
Downtown Everwood at night. The Brown Family walks together, and Delia asks her dad if she can go rent E.T. again. Treat reminds her that she's already seen it three times that week. She says she done TOLD them they should buy it. Delia runs off. Treat asks Ephram about KateBot's father knowing everything. Ephram says he supposedly does, but he doesn't know whether that's true or not. Foreshadowing? We shall see. Treat says he's sorry Ephram got caught in the middle of this scandal. He says he feels responsible, since he chose BGA as Ephram's teacher. Ephram says he didn't think he said "lying" was on his résumé. Treat says Ephram can choose the one. Ephram says he doesn't know if he wants a new piano teacher. Treat wants to know why. Ephram says it's more than what happened with BGA, that he doesn't know if "it's worth it." He wonders what the point of becoming great at something is, if you have to compromise everything to get there. Treat reminds Ephram that he is certainly not BGA -- he's a better pianist, and a better human being. Ephram says, "Am I better than you? Would you have saved as many lives as you did if you had been home for dinner every night?" Treat says Ephram won't make the same mistakes he did. He says that Ephram is fifteen years old, which totally makes me a pervert, and that he's already asking himself these questions. "It took me twenty years of neurosurgery, the death of your mother, and moving us to the middle of nowhere before I even knew what the questions were." Aw, Treat. Ephram says, "Now that you know what the questions are, can we please move back to New York?" Treat tells him nice try. They laugh and walk together. So cute. Irv tells us, "Despite our fascination with the beauty of stars, most people are uneducated when it comes to the basic facts about the heavens. Some mysteries aren't meant to be fully understood. Some questions are best never answered." And...I want to hate it, but I can't. I'm so fired.