Props to deborah, Wendola, Kim, and Sars.
Previously on ER: Jeanie wanted to adopt a "child of colour with HIV." Anspaugh left the Chief of Staff job and Romano replaced him (and Weaver supported Romano's promotion). Carter started dating his former cousin-in-law, placed by Rebecca DeMornay. Benton and Carla fought over custody of Reese. Kovac felt that Weaver and Greene don't know if he's a good doctor (while the rest of us would happily waive malpractice suits if he'd just sit really close to us and read the phone book with that accent of his). Weaver told Lucy she couldn't mentor her because she didn't want others on her staff to think she was showing favouritism. Reggie proposed to Jeanie. Greene's mom died.
Elaine "The Slugger's Wife" Nichols, wearing an impractical-for-a-Chicago-autumn strappy dress wanders into the ER while various scenes of emergency medicine being...uh...practised unfold around her. She sort of sleepwalks past gurneys and stands in the hall as personnel brush past her, and generally looks like a disoriented Nosy Parker until she walks straight into a trauma room (um...hello?) and finds John Carter "The Unstoppable Sex Machine" stitching up some woman's arm. She props herself in the doorway and asks what time he's off. He looks up in surprised delight and asks what she's doing there, since it's almost midnight. She asks again when he's off, and he decisively says, "Now."
In San Diego, Mark "It's Not Easy Being" Greene rinses a plate while Ellen's mom from Ellen -- evidently playing one of his parents' neighbours -- gives him the status of various domestic tasks on her way out the door. She tells him she's sorry, and that his mother was a lovely woman. He thanks her and walks her out, then locks the door and pulls a blanket over a sleeping Rachel "Not The One Jennifer Aniston Plays" Greene.
Then Mark's outside throwing out some garbage while some kind of power tool runs in the garage. He strolls over and asks his dad, David "Holling" Greene, whether he isn't concerned about waking up the neighbours. Holling says they're all deaf. Mark asks what he's making. Holling says he'd promised Mark's mother he'd make her a linen chest. Mark says, "Okay. Goodnight." He starts to go, but Holling, looking distressed, stops him by telling him he gave a nice speech. Mark says he had good material. Holling agrees. Mark asks if Holling's going to be okay, and offers to stay a few more days. Holling doesn't say anything, so Mark prompts him: "Dad?" Holling says it doesn't seem real: "I buried my wife today."
After that understated expression of grief, the seizure-inducing ER opening credits are exceptionally unwelcome.
A goth kid is bleeding impressively in the lower facial area (it's not clear just then whether the blood is coming from his nose, mouth, or chin), and a guy in a navy blue t-shirt is working on him. T-shirt asks Goth if he got "a good look at the bastards." Goth says skaters all look the same. Lucy "Fright" Knight approaches with some X-rays and calls to Dr. Malucci (who tells her, "It's 'Dr. Dave' to you, Lucy,") to look at them, pointing out that there's no new fractures. Dr. Dave observes to Goth that Goth has banged up his chin before. Goth says that the skaters don't like the way he dresses, and that the last time, they banged his head in a car door. Lucy asks why Goth's principal hasn't intervened. With withering sarcasm, Goth asks Lucy where she went to high school. Dr. Dave says he'll return when Goth's face is numb, and he and Lucy move off to see to another patient. As they walk off, Carter appears, and leans in close to Goth's face, and says, "Ooh!" He catches up to Lucy and Dr. Dave and recommends "plastics" on that lip. Lucy asks Dr. Dave about the patient's oxygen level, and Dr. Dave makes a not-especially-funny joke about the patient turning purple, and Carter tells her what to do as she hurries off, chuckling. Just then, Dr. Cleo "Patra Jones" Finch comes in wearing her running outfit and holding her pager. Dr. Dave addresses her as "Jackie Joyner" and tells her she's looking good; she more or less tells him to get bent. Carter laughs at him as Dr. Dave insists Dr. Finch wants him. Yeah, she wants you...to shut up. As do I. Carter observes that an earlier patient of Dr. Dave's -- whom I'll kindly describe as an alcoholic who's between living situations...and baths -- has returned. He is in a wheelchair pushed by Yosh "I used to be interesting" Takata (and flanked by Reggie "D'Shawn" Moore and Jeanie "Five Shows and Counting" Boulet, who calls the patient "Vodka Joe"), and is shooting off lines from "The Gambler," which I always, always think is funny. Jeanie tells Dr. Dave she'll take him, and Dr. Dave books. Vodka Joe asks Jeanie if she wants to "meet up with a gambler" (heh), and Reggie says, "Watch it, cowboy -- that's my fiancée." Jeanie says, "Reggie..." in a cautionary voice, and Yosh asks if they're engaged. Reggies says, "Pretty much," as Jeanie simultaneously says, "Not exactly."
Dr. Robert "Montgomery" Romano is in a lecture hall blathering about something while Peter "Big Daddy" Benton and Elizabeth "Moll Flanders" Corday converse sotto voce. He asks her to cover for him this morning, and adds that it's important. Before he can go on, Romano gets all schoolmarmish and asks if Benton has something to add. Benton says no, and he and Corday both smirk at Romano's little-mannish attempts to assert his authority. Romano says, "As a final note, you should all offer Dr. Corday your congratulations, since most of you will be working with her in her new position as Associate Chief of Surgery." Cut to Corday, who looks utterly stupefied at this announcement. Romano goes on to list a few of her new duties, and wraps up the meeting and leaves without speaking to her. Corday and Benton sit at the back of the room, both looking stunned.
In a trauma room, Carter examines a tiny young woman (and Lydia assists) as her father supports her head and enumerates the stages of her cancer; it started as melanoma, and since then her liver, lungs and brain have shut down. It seems she now has fluid in her lungs, which has happened before; her dad says that, last time, they had to drain it. She has been in an altered mental state for the past month. Even though I told Sars I didn't think it was her, it turns out that Sars was totally right and I was totally wrong: the woman playing the patient also played Tara "Terruh Streetchild" Marks, who pulled a Single White Female on Kelly a few seasons back on . Sorry, Sars. Carter orders a bunch of tests, and the patient's dad tells him that she doesn't want to go back to the I.C.U., and that she has a standing Do Not Resuscitate order; her dad just brought her in because her pain seemed to worsen, and he thought they could make her more comfortable at the hospital. Carter agrees that they can.
At the desk, the no-lines-having Dr. Finch is having no lines, and Carol "Hosanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna Ho" Hathaway greets Mark as he walks in, and asks how it went in San Diego. He evasively says it went all right, and, indicating her womb, says, "You grew in a week." Heh. He runs into Carter, who very sincerely and nicely tells Mark he was sorry to hear about Mark's mom. Mark thanks him.Carter tells him about Terruh, adding that she's D.N.R. and telling Mark why her dad brought her in at all. Mark starts flipping through the chart; it seems Weaver has instituted a new charting system that Carter thinks is "kind of cool," involving checklists or something. Mark calls it "multiple-choice medicine." Carter mentions a couple of things he was planning to do to alleviate Terruh's pain, and Mark tells him to check the old X-rays for comparison. Kerry "The Cleaver" Weaver comes down the hall calling welcome to Mark, who thanks her curtly and asks about the new charts. Kerry says she'll train him in them later, and he sarcastically says, "Can't wait!"
A mightily pissed Corday bursts into Romano's office. He notes that it took her twenty minutes to come see him, and says he's shocked because he thought it would be "five, ten, tops." She coldly asks him what this is about. He wheedles her some more: "No 'Thank you, I'm honoured'? No 'Hope I don't disappoint'?" She tells him everyone thinks he's serious, and he says that's because he is; the way he figures it, he's bound to "ruffle a few feathers" as Chief of Staff, and he needs her to help smooth things over. She asks why he didn't offer her the job privately. He says there would be no fun in that, and adds that he knew she'd take it. She reminds him that she hasn't taken it. He asks if that's a "no." She doesn't say anything, and he says, essentially, that he thought so, and that even if she views him as "a loathsome toad," she is pragmatic, and that her ambitious nature would decide the issue, since this isn't a job offer she should have any right to expect for another five or six years. She says that isn't the point. He says that the point is a fast-track career in which she'd have freedom in the OR, the chance to make her own schedule, and a bunch of other things that sound pretty good to me, particularly after all the crap she had to go through when she was bounced back down to intern last year. Finally, he says that the fact that all the good comes with the "minor annoyance" of having to deal with him shouldn't be a prohibitive consideration. Very carefully, she says, "I don't view you as a loathsome toad, Robert." Genially, he replies, "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that, Elizabeth." Heh. She has to take it, obviously. Come on!
In the nursery, Jeanie plays with Carlos, who is still criminally adorable. Kit says it's time for his cocktail. Jeanie asks if there have been any side effects, and the answer is no, and that he's doing better in every respect. Beaming at him as Kit gives him his medication, Jeanie looks happier than she ever has since she's been on this show. Kit says, "Such a good boy. I'm going to miss you!" This pulls Jeanie up short, and she asks if he's being discharged. Kit says that DCFS will be there soon, and that he's going not to a foster family, but to an "emergency intake centre." Jeanie shakes her head and says he needs foster care: "One-on-one nurturing." Kit says that the intake centre is only temporary, and that they'll find a foster family soon. Skeptically, Jeanie asks, "Someone who'll want to adopt an HIV baby? That mother is not going to pull through." Kit tells Jeanie that Carlos's mother died yesterday.
Dr. Luka "Just Don't Ask Me" Kovac examines a boy who remarks, "You talk funny." With the forced geniality of a man who's heard that about four hundred thousand times, he heartily replies, "Thank you!" and looks at the boy's throat. Carol pitches in by telling the patient that Luka talks that way because he comes from very far away. The kid says something that sounds like "Ha ha" (because his tongue is depressed), but Carol interprets this as "How far?" and replies that it's so far away that it's already dark there. Carol, the kid doesn't really give a rat's ass. I guarantee it. Luka diagnoses an upper respiratory infection. The kid's mother asks if he'll need antibiotics, but Luka tells her it's usually viral, and she just needs to give the kid lots of fluids. He walks with Carol to the doorway and orders a quick strep test, just to be sure. Carol acknowledges the request and asks where he's from. Uh. He says, "Croatia," and she says, "Oh. Wow." What a conversationalist. He hands her the chart, and she tells him he forgot Tylenol, and explains that normally the doctors give the nurses a standing order, for fever. Luka says that a fever has a purpose, which is to be the body's natural way to fight infection: "That's good, no?...So why stop it?" Carol says, "To make the kid feel better?" in this extremely condescending voice. Hey Carol -- shut up. He agrees. What was the purpose of that scene? Are we supposed to think that he's cost-conscious, because in Croatia he couldn't give a standing order for Tylenol because there wasn't any, or are we supposed to think he's a sadist for wanting to make a child suffer with a fever? Whatever.
In an office lined with law books, Benton is telling a woman that he's already told the mediator he doesn't want to take Reese from Carla, but that he's only trying to prevent Carla from taking Reese from him. She asks whether he thinks Carla's doing this to hurt him. He says Carla doesn't seem to care. The woman asks whether Benton cares about Carla's situation. He looks at her suspiciously, and she says, "What is it?" He says he's never talked to a therapist before. She says he's not here to psychoanalyze him -- only to assess the family dynamic for the court. Benton says it's simple: "Carla and I both love our son, but she's trying to take him away from me so her new husband can pursue his career." The therapist asks a bunch of rapid-fire questions about Roger, Carla's new husband, and determines that Benton thinks Roger's a decent guy who treats Reese well and seems to love him. Benton gets agitated and asks why they're talking about Roger when it's about Benton, Reese, and Carla. The therapist tells Benton that, like it or not, Roger is part of the question, and asks Benton how he'd deal with it if Carla does, finally, take Reese out of the country. Benton says, "That's not going to happen." The therapist says, "If it did?" Benton looks out the window and doesn't answer. This is really only going to get worse before it gets better.
Carter gets Terruh's two most recent chest films and runs into Corday. He congratulates her, and she curtly tells him she has a patient. He says, "Aye aye, Chief," as she rolls her eyes and goes behind a curtain. Before she pulls it, Carter sees an anxious-looking Elaine in a hospital gown. Ruh roh!
St. Carol brings a book to a woman named Vanessa, whose nursing home sent her over. The book has a Sacred Heart on it, and when Carol comments on it (and, as we are all well aware, Carol should know from Sacred Hearts), Vanessa asks if she's Catholic and comments about what happened to "Paul" and implies that whatever it was made her lose her faith, which is too bad, since "Heaven sounds good right now." Carol asks if Vanessa wants to see a priest, since the hospital has one on call. Vanessa dismissively says, "God, no." Carol asks again, and Vanessa tells her not to trouble herself. Carol says, "It's really no bother," so that Vanessa has to say, rather forcefully, "Really, don't."
Jeanie runs down the hall to catch up with Bob from DCFS, and excitedly tells him she'll take Carlos. Bob asks if she's a licensed foster parent, and she says she isn't, but she can become one. He says it's nice of her, but not realistic, because she'd have to be screened first, and have training. She says she can do all that, and take care of him in the meantime. Bob asks if she has any other children, and she says she doesn't, so she can focus on Carlos. Bob says it's not policy, but maybe Jeanie can do it until Bob finds a licensed foster parent. Jeanie fades a bit, then brightly adds, "Or until I get licensed!" Bob jollies her along a bit, saying he'll look into it, but will make no promises.
At the therapist's office, it's evidently Carla's turn; she stands in the doorway with Reese as Benton is on his way out. Benton hoists Reese in the air and kisses him. Carla does her best Nell Carter impression, giving Benton the most unimpressed, attitude-laden look in recorded history. Benton and Carla greet each other perfunctorily. The therapist introduces herself as Debra Wexler. Carla shakes her hand warmly. Benton tells her "it's pretty painless" and hands a reluctant-looking Reese back to Carla. Reese starts crying immediately. Benton tries to keep the pleasure out of his voice as he comforts Reese, who still reaches for Benton. Benton makes the "I love you" sign to Reese, and Dr. Wexler notes it. Benton watches them go in, looking stressed.
Carter looks at Terruh's chest film as Mark taps her belly, yielding three litres of...something...gross. Mr. Terruh goes out to call Mrs. Terruh, leaving Mark and Terruh alone. Corday comes in as Mr. Terruh goes out, and tells Mark he didn't call. Corday asks if he's okay, and how his dad is. Mark says Holling was shaken up, and numb. Mark's mom was fine, and then "boom," had a heart attack. He says it will take a while for it to sink in for Holling. "And you," Corday adds. "I don't know," says Mark. He then tells her he heard about her job offer. She kind of rolls her eyes. He asks what Romano's up to. Corday mutters, "Oh, you know Robert. He always has to be dramatic." Mark says, "Yeah, but why'd he pick you?" A chill falls over Corday, who says, "I don't know. Perhaps he thinks I'm a talented surgeon." Mark backpedals, saying that's not what he meant, and says, "You're not going to take it, are you?" She says she was considering it. He says, "Okay." She says, "What?" He says, "Nothing," as judgmentally as a human can. She says that dealing with Romano is a small price to pay for the advancement this job represents, and adds that it's better than anything she could expect at Rush. Mark passive-aggressively says, "If you think so," and she calls him on it, telling him that if he feels the need to express an opinion, he should articulate it. He says she can't trust Romano, since he's screwed her in the past and will do so again. She tells him that, if that's so, it's her problem. Mark says, "I think it will be." She glares at him and walks out. I don't want to say that little bald man Mark is having problems watching talented, capable women get promoted all around him, but...oh, look at that! I just did.
Dr. Dave discharges Goth. Carol hands him a chart and says she needs morphine for Mrs. Braga. Dr. Dave pensively repeats, "Braga." Carol says, "Your L.O.L.?" Dr. Dave essentially says "right," and signs off on the chart. Carols asks if he doesn't want to see her. Dr. Dave says he trusts her, and asks if that Roach Coach is out there all day. Carter says it is, and Dr. Dave boots it out there. Wow, I'm thinking Dr. Dave is A Bad Doctor.
On the phone, Carter is checking on some peritoneal fluid he sent somewhere. Elaine sneaks up behind him and blows in the ear that's not on the phone. Ew. He wheels around, whispers "hey," and hands up. She says she was in the neighbourhood and wanted to know if he wanted to go for lunch. He repeats, "'In the neighbourhood'?" evidently waiting for her to tell him she was seeing Corday. But she doesn't, and instead tells him she had a meeting "in the Hancock building." ["For this to be true, County General would really have to be wedged in between Banana Republic and Bloomingdales and all the homeless crack whores with gunshot wounds would be wandering around Crate & Barrel. I'm just saying." -- Wendola] Carter starts to consider whether he can leave when Dr. Dave busts in, with a burly dude in tow, asking who belongs to the paramedic rig out front; because there's been a construction accident down the street. Carter yells after him to hang on, and begs off lunch with Elaine. As he leaves, he says, "Tonight?" She purrs, "Tonight's a given." Uh, hey. I didn't ask, so keep that talk down so that I can keep my dinner down, huh?
Dr. Dave opens the back of the paramedic rig as BurlyDude gives Carter the thumbnail of the accident -- a beam fell on his friend, at a construction site a block and a half away from here. BurlyDude's friend isn't conscious, and it's not clear whether he's breathing. Dr. Dave paws through some equipment and asks Carter if he's coming. Carter tells him to wait, and goes into the front seat of the rig to radio for help. Dr. Dave pounds on the windshield and tells Carter they don't have time, so Carter goes back on the radio and reluctantly adds, "Docs responding."
Dr. Dave (with a red paramedic's bag), Carter, and BurlyDude run down the street toward the accident, where they see a truly impressive pile of girders, underneath which BurlyDude's friend is trapped. A construction worker is cutting through the metal with...I don't know, some kind of tool. Carter calls the guy's name (supplied, by BurlyDude, as Joe Sanders). Carter checks his pulse, but can't see his chest moving. From a different vantage point, Dr. Dave reports that Joe's leg is totally crushed. Carter can reach him, but he can't see what he's doing. Dr. Dave begs Carter to let him do it whatever is necessary to stabilize Joe. Carter asks if Dr. Dave has ever done a blind intervention, and he says he hasn't. Carter tells him that "this isn't a teaching case; find a window. Be my eyes." To make a long story marginally shorter, Dr. Dave guides Carter to Joe's face and Carter successfully intubates him. The paramedics arrive.
Terruh takes what the captioning describes as "gasping breaths," and takes off her mask. Mark tells her she needs to keep the mask on. She says she can't breathe. He tells her his name, and where she is, and that her father brought her there. He keeps trying to put the mask back on but she keeps pushing it away. She gasps, "Help me." He says he can give her some morphine to make her more comfortable. She shakes her head and says, "I don't want to die today." Mark -- probably still smarting from his mother's recent, unexpected death -- looks stricken. He asks her if she wants him to put her on a ventilator. She nods. He says, "There's a good chance you'll never come off of it." She gasps, "I don't. Want. To Die." He calls Lydia in and gives her a drug order. Lydia says, "You're going to intubate?" He says he is. She tells him Terruh's a D.N.R. Mark firmly replies, "Not anymore."
In the hall, Mark explains to a -- pretty justifiably -- angry Mr. Terruh why Mark has just put his daughter on a ventilator, in direct contravention of her D.N.R. order. Mr. Terruh's position is, essentially, that she's already been on plenty of machines, and she's had enough. Mark tells Mr. Terruh that he understands his feelings, but that she's over eighteen, and she clearly told him that she wanted to be on a ventilator.
Just then, the crushed construction worker comes through on a gurney. A paramedic gives the bullet. Weaver hears the part about a femur fracture and asks why a certain kind of splint wasn't used. The male paramedic says, "There was some debate about that," and Dr. Dave says, "We had to get him here." Weaver screeches, "You were in the field?" The male paramedic says, "Oh yeah -- super docs had him intubated." Carter has the good grace to look ashamed as he tells Weaver the patient wasn't breathing. Benton gets the bullet again. Weaver takes off.
Mr. Terruh and Mark continue to debate from exactly the same positions. Weaver approaches, making sure to say not only her name, but the fact that she's "Chief of the Emergency Department." We get it. You got the job. Settle down. Mark tells her he's on it. Mr. Terruh asks if she's Mark's boss and brings her up to date. Weaver asks if Mr. Terruh has the D.N.R. papers with him. He says he can get them. She says he should, since now that she's intubated, the issue is a lot more complicated. Mr. Terruh looks apoplectic. Weaver says she's not sure they should extubate her until she's breathing on her own. Mr. Terruh blinks. Mark, I see where you're coming from, but how hard would it have been for you to get her dad before you did anything?
The crushed construction worker is crashing. Dr. Dave suggests something and Benton says, "Let the doctors take it from here." Dr. Dave says that he is a doctor. The female paramedic drily remarks, "He only thinks he's a paramedic." Carter introduces him as "Dr. Malucci, first-year resident." Dr. Dave corrects him: "'Dr. Dave.'" Benton calls out more instructions, Dr. Dave makes the grievous error of saying, "Let's go," and Benton authoritatively says, "Hold on, Dr. Dave." Benton! Dr. Dave looks annoyed and mutters to Carter, "Who is this guy?" Carter says, "Surgical Trauma Fellow; call him Dr. Pete." Heh! Benton glances up at this with his patented Wither-Carter look. Benton finally tells the staff in the room to put the patient in traction and get him to the OR Dr. Dave says, "Is there an echo in here? Didn't I just say that?" Dude...Benton reaches his breaking point and barks, "All right, you -- get out of here." My sentiments exactly. Dr. Dave starts asking anyone who'll listen what he did wrong. Carter smiles the smile of a man who's glad someone else is the whipping boy for a change, and tries to hustle Dr. Dave out of there. Dr. Dave tries to make a stand by saying this is his and Carter's patient, and they're not leaving. The original paramedic tells him, "You wanna be a hero in the field? You gotta drop 'em at the door." Dr. Dave dismissively replies, "Shut up." Uh, that paramedic could break you in half, so just step off, Dr. Dave. He finally leaves. Moron. Unruffled, Benton asks Carol to bring him a new kit. Benton!
Out in the hall, the Great D.N.R. Debate rages on as Mr. Terruh says he's going to call his lawyer, and as a parting shot says to Mark, "I can't believe you did this." Mark is all The Defiant Bald One. Kerry asks what he's doing. He gives the ultra-egotist answer: "My job," and tells her it's not her problem. She says it is her problem: "I'm head of the department." Oh, are you? I hadn't heard that. This minute. Mark says, "In title only, remember? You said so yourself," and does the Greene stomp out of there.
In another part of the hall, the male paramedic is telling Dr. Dave that if he ever steals his gear again, he's going to kick his ass. Dr. Dave tries to defend his actions by saying that the paramedics were too slow, or some such. Weaver comes caning over. The female paramedic asks what if they had been in the field somewhere else and didn't have their equipment? Dr. Dave says it's in there in that guy's throat, so why doesn't she go rip it out? Oh, put it away -- no one's impressed by your tiny penis. God. Weaver tells them to break it up. The male paramedic starts to get in Dr. Dave's face and asks if he wants to take it outside. Dr. Dave says, "Yeah, I'll take it outside." Weaver very dismissively says, "Oh, come on. No one's taking anything anywhere," and tells the paramedics to get back to work. The male paramedic says, "What's the point? I've got doctors to do it for me," but before Weaver suggests they take it outside, he and his partner leave. Carter and Dr. Dave try to slink off, but Weaver calls them back, and tells them they were wrong to do what they did, because they are neither trained nor insured to work in the field, and they have patients in the hospital who could have coded while they were gone. She also reminds them that they could have been hit with three more traumas while Carter and Dr. Dave were out "playing paramedic." Dr. Dave quietly asks, "Were you?" Weaver gets the devil in her eyes and warns him, "Don't even start with me, Dr. Malucci. I'm only cutting you this much slack because you're new here. And you, Carter? You should know better. You are emergency residents, not paramedics. Is that understood?" They both look cowed, and don't answer. She yells, "Is that understood?" and they both nod. As she canes off, Carter mutters, "That was great, Dave." Oh, save it, cradle-robbee.
As Jeanie walks into the Pedes department, Kit is telling someone, "We document all consents on the chart." She asks Bob if there's a problem. It ultimately comes out that someone has noticed there was never any consent for the HIV test, and Jeanie admits, without fanfare, that she tested Carlos without consent. Kit makes herself scarce. Jeanie says she was acting in the baby's best interest, and thus "gained ten days of treatment." Bob says, "You broke the law." Jeanie asks if this will affect her chances of getting Carlos as a foster child. He tells her it demonstrates that she obviously cares about the child, but that the director won't approve her attempt to get Carlos as a foster child. As he walks out, she asks if it's because she's black. He says, "What?" in a testy tone of voice. She points out that she's black and the baby's Hispanic, and wants to know if that's why she won't get him. He asks what she takes him for. Her voice breaking, Jeanie says she doesn't know, since he would evidently rather put him in a facility than place him with her after she said she'd take him. Bob says she's not qualified, and that's the only reason. She asks if it's because of her HIV. He says it doesn't help. She says she's healthy. He asks whether she'll still be able to say that when the child is five, or ten. She astutely asks, "Can anyone say that?" Bob says he doesn't know how to tell Jeanie "no" any other way. She starts to argue another tack, and he says again, "It's 'no,' Ms. Boulet." She looks wounded.
Benton wheels the crushed construction worker into the OR while giving Corday the background. Romano stops him in the hall and tells Benton that Corday will take it from here. Benton protests that this is a trauma patient. Romano says, "And your trauma fellowship is through the ER, correct?" Benton says, "Yeah, so?" Romano says that the OR is for surgeons, not trauma fellows. Benton says that he's been operating, as a trauma fellow, for the past three weeks. Romano says that now that he's Chief of Staff, Benton won't be operating anymore. Benton glares. Romano says, "You chose this. Not me." As he goes, he tells Corday to keep Benton out of the OR -- "Call security if you have to" -- and tells her to enjoy her first solo surgery. She calls after him, "Solo?" He says that an Associate Chief can operate by herself. Benton scoffs and takes off in the opposite direction. Corday calls his name, to no response.
Mark sits alone in the hall. Carol comes along and asks if he's okay. Mark starts to sketch out the Terruh case, and then says, "Forget it." Carol suggests that he take some time off. Mark says, "I just had a week off." Carol points out that a parent's funeral isn't a holiday, and is, in fact, one of the most stressful things a person can go through. He says he has to get back to work. Carol makes a "whatever" face, and then hears Vanessa calling, "Why isn't he here?" Carol asks who she's talking about. Vanessa asks why the priest hasn't come. Carol reminds her that Vanessa had expressly told her not to call the priest. Vanessa gets a bit hysterical and cries that she doesn't want to go alone. Carol says she'll go get him. Okay, I'm not wild about Carol, but that really wasn't her fault at all.
Jeanie sorts charts at the desk. Weaver comes up beside her and says that she didn't know Jeanie had decided to become a foster parent; Bob had just called Weaver to check Jeanie's references, and Weaver thinks that would be great. Jeanie says it would be, but it's not going to happen, and she's not sure why, but ascribes it to "too many things stacked against" her. Weaver asks if there's anything she can do. Jeanie says no, thanks, and says she'll see her tomorrow.
Mark looks after a kid who's sustained a piñata-related injury. Weaver interrupts him to say that Mr. Terruh is "making a lot of noise," and that she'll need to see "a detailed record regarding the care of his daughter." Mark passive-aggressively jokes, "Your new charting system should help." Weaver says this is serious, and asks if he understands the position in which he's put the hospital. AGAIN we go over the terms of the disagreement. Mark: She's over eighteen. Weaver: She signed a D.N.R. and gave her father power of attorney. WE GET IT. Carter breaks the stalemate by saying that Terruh is "throwing P.V.C.s" -- ten to twelve, if that means anything to anyone. Mark asks if Carter gave her lidocaine. He says he hasn't yet, and wanted to check whether she was still D.N.R. Simultaneously, Weaver says "yes" and Mark says "no." Carter says, "Okay," and asks what he should do if she codes. Mark tells him to resuscitate her; Weaver tells him not to. Mark says she's his patient; Weaver says she can't let Carter ignore a standing D.N.R. Mark says she revoked it; Weaver says she can't revoke it with an altered mental status. Carter watches like he's at a tennis match. Weaver says Terruh has "mets all over her brain," besides which she's on morphine and "probably hypoxic." Mark says he talked to her, and that she was clear, conscious, and alert. Weaver pauses a moment, and then says, "I didn't see that." Mark says Weaver will just have to trust him. Weaver pauses again, and says she doesn't think Mark is in a state of mind to be objective. Hello! No guff. Mark purses his lips in a way that, somehow, makes his head look more like a penis than usual. Weaver says she thinks she should take over Terruh's care. Mark says she'll have to fire him first. Do it, do it! Carter reminds them both that he's standing there and asks again what he should do if she codes. Weaver firmly says that he should do nothing, and walks off. As soon as Weaver's out of hearing, Mark tells Carter to call him if she codes. Hey, why not split the difference and let Carter take the patient, since she was his patient in the first place?
At the desk, Carol starts asking around for a priest, but their usual guy is on sabbatical and Randi "Stone Cold" Fronczak doesn't know where his number is. Carol then asks Lucy where Dr. Dave is; Lucy tells her to "try the Coast Guard." Heh. Luka happens to be standing at the desk just then, sans lab coat (and wearing a black blazer, a navy shirt, and a navy tie…huh), so I assume he's on his way out, and asks what the problem is. Carol tells him she has a dying woman whose kidneys are shutting down, and that she needs dopamine. He takes the chart and says, "I've got it." She thanks him.
Corday appears and asks Carol if she's seen Mark. Carol directs her and Corday starts on her way looking for him, only to be cut off at the pass by a tuxedo-clad Romano. He says he heard she "laid up" in the OR today, which apparently is a golf term meaning that she "played it safe -- lived to cut another day." Every facet of her body language screams, "I am not in the mood, pipsqueak," but he goes on, anyway, to assure her that it's not a criticism, and that everyone gets more conservative when they're "in the driver's seat." He concludes with, "Welcome to the big leagues," and starts to go on his way. Her glare, by rights, should burn a hole into his forehead as she grabs his arm and says, "About Peter..." Romano says, "Peter, Peter, Peter. Don't you ever get tired of that subject?" Corday tells him that Benton accepted the trauma fellowship on the assumption that he'd get to operate on his trauma patients. Romano says, "I know. I'm just messing with him." Corday asks if that means Romano will let him operate. Romano says, "For you, Lizzie? Anything." Corday breathes as Romano adds that Benton will only be allowed to operate on his trauma patients, not elective cases, and no general cases, and Corday will have to police him, because Romano doesn't want to deal with him. Corday says, essentially, that that's okay with her. Romano asks if that constitutes her acceptance of his offer. She says she supposes it does. He says, "Wise choice." She turns, presumably to start looking for Mark again, and he stops her and hands her what he says is "a termination list; we need to cut loose some dead weight, and it'll sound better coming from you."
Corday examines the list and, without looking up, asks Carter (as he comes around the corner) if he's seen Mark. Carter says Mark's around somewhere, and then casually adds, "I think you saw a patient of mine in radiology today. Nichols?" Corday says, "Your patient?" Carter, not exactly lying, says that she came in a couple of weeks ago after a fender-bender. He notes that she had some minor cervical tenderness, and asks if he missed something. Corday says no, that it was nothing to do with an accident, and she came for a second opinion. Carter asks, "On what?" Matter-of-factly, Corday replies, "Infiltrating duct cell carcinoma." That doesn't sound good. Carter rears back, and says, "Breast cancer. So she's looking at surgery." Corday confirms that Elaine will have to have a mastectomy. Carter tries to look like this doesn't affect him, but doesn't have to try for long as Haleh hollers down the hall, "This girl's in V-tach."
Carter jogs down the hall. Haleh gives him Terruh's stats, and he tells someone to call Mark, and get the paddles ready. Weaver comes in and announces, "No need, Haleh. She's a D.N.R." Carter sort of shakes his head in a shambling way, and Weaver says she knows he's in an awkward position, and she'll take it from there. Carter says, "You're going to let her arrest." Carter says, "How about a chemical code?" Again, Weaver says, "No. This woman is not. To be. Resuscitated." Carter suggests that they use just an amp of lidocaine, and Weaver says, "She has no chance of a meaningful recovery. She wanted this. Her family wants it. Don't touch her." Carter watches Terruh, helplessly.
Carol walks into Vanessa's room. Luka has removed his tie and is seated beside Vanessa's bed, pretending to be a priest. Um, is it wrong for me to say that I would pretend to be dying if it meant he would touch me on the forehead? I'm not saying I would. I'm just asking.
Mark walks into Terruh's room to see her arresting, and everyone standing around her. Haleh says she's in v-fib. Mark says, "Damn you, Kerry," and pushes people aside. He tells Carter to start C.P.R., and Haleh to charge to two hundred. Neither of them move, and instead look to Weaver for confirmation of Mark's orders. Weaver looks at Mark. He finally registers that no one is listening to him, so he tells Weaver that, as Chief, she has to make a decision: "We do this, or I go." Weaver, don't do it! Carter, who has started C.P.R., watches her. She steps away from the end of the bed, which everyone takes as her tacit approval.
Mark puts the paddles on Terruh's chest.
Luka prays in Latin over Vanessa's bed, as Carol watches, which has to be the weirdest method of seduction I've ever seen.
Terruh's body jerks off the bed. Weaver flinches. Mark gets ready to charge again, as Weaver quietly asks, "How far are you going to go, Mark? She said she wanted a ventilator; did she say she wanted this?" He ignores her, and shocks her again.
More praying.
More shocking.
Praying.
Weaver goes on, "Did she says she wanted you pounding on her chest? Shocking her heart?" Mark yells, "Shut up, Kerry!"
Luka closes Vanessa's eyes. Carol watches suspiciously.
Terruh's heart monitor goes flatline. Carter continues to pump her chest (which is really, really pink now -- ow), and asks Mark if he wants atropine. Mark says it's over. He calls the time of death and chucks the paddles at the crash cart. Because that's good for the equipment. He stalks out. Weaver goes after him.
In the hall, Mark tears off his lab coat. Weaver calls his name, but he doesn't even give her the courtesy of a "talk to the hand" gesture -- he gives her the "talk to the back of my hand." Oh, lord. Weaver watches him go.
Jeanie waits on the steps of the police station for Reggie to come out. They greet each other with mutual affection and pleasure and take each other's hands. Aw! She says she needs to talk, and that she's been thinking. He makes noises of dismay, and she says it's not bad: "That day when you proposed to me, most of me just wanted to scream, 'yes!' and run to the courthouse and do it right then....But the rest of me was scared. I knew that I loved you, but I'd just been with this little baby who needed a mother, and I knew instantly that I wanted to be that mother. I didn't want to say yes for the wrong reasons....But they told me today that I can't have him....It's okay, because I know that I really do want to marry you. I know that." They kiss. She tearfully asks, "Do you still want to marry me?" Reggie laughs and says, "Yes!" and Jeanie chokes, "Okay!" and they kiss some more. AW! That was just adorable, and anyone who doesn't think so has a heart of stone. I'm sorry, but it's true.
Carol converses with Luka without looking at him, in order to convey her superiority. Yuck. She asks if it isn't a sin to fake a sacrament (in this case, I assume it's last rites, although I don't know what that sounds like in English, much less in Latin). He says it was a blessing, and that anyone can give a blessing. She says, "Not posing as a priest." Well, report him to the Vatican, why don't you. Use your hotline to the Pontiff, Your Holiness. Or, shut up. He says that Vanessa's faith was what's important. Carol asks how he knew what to say. He says he faked it, with a little bit of Latin, and a little bit of Croatian. She says he faked it well. Then she says, "Ooh," and he asks if she's all right, and she says the twins are just active, moving around down there. He says, "May I?" She gives him this weird look, and then pulls her arms away as if to say, "Have at it, my good man." From this I suppose we are to deduce that unlike the nosy old lady in the café in the season premiere, she now regards Luka as a friend who has full womb privileges. Well, maybe not full. Yet.
Carter and Elaine go at it in semi-shadow. Yecch. They stare at each other while breathing kind of heavily, and she smooths his hair off his face and then stops, and holds completely still. He says, "What?" She sits up very slowly (still straddling him. I'm just saying), and says, "You know." Well, of course he does, and you obviously wanted him to, or you would have gone to another (to say nothing of "a better") hospital; I hear there's a few in the greater Chicago area. He says nothing. She crosses her arms over the breasts we can totally see, semi-shadow or no, which is pretty risqué for TV. He says, "Yes." She stares at him, looking (I assume) distressed (but I can't really tell because of the light). She gets up and puts on her robe, and walks to the door to tell Carter he should "just leave now." He says, "Elaine..." but she flicks her head and stalks out, slamming the door behind her.
Benton walks up the stairs to the El. Carla hurries down the street behind him, calling his name, and when he turns, she asks if he hired a private investigator. He plays dumb. Carla says some guy talked to someone named "Dafina," and asked her if Carla had ever done drugs. Benton says the only person he hired was his lawyer. Carla asks if the lawyer sent someone around to check into her background, and Benton firmly says, "No," and then admits, "I don't know." Mournfully, Carla asks why Benton is "doing this." Benton sort of scoffs and says, "Why am I doing this?" Carla mentions the restraining orders and the lawyers, and Benton angrily replies, "Carla, I only have one son! Roger can get another damn job." Carla says this is a great opportunity for them. Benton asks if she ever thinks about Reese: "You want to take him away from his father?" Carla spits, "You may not even be his father."
WHAT? First of all, that is not the kind of thing you shout at someone on the street, unless you have no class, and until this season, Carla had some. Second, if that's true, then she really had no call to get all shirty with Peter when he initially asked her whether there was even a chance that he might not be Reese's father, besides which, she has gotten pretty far using Benton by keeping him under this delusion, so that, to all intents and purposes (as far as I'm concerned), he might as well be his father, even if biology doesn't bear it out; it's not like the biological guy has been sneaking in visits on the side, unless Roger is the biological father, in which case this whole custody battle would have never gotten as far as it has. And if it isn't true, this is a pretty shitty gambit for her to pull out of desperation. Either way, this really doesn't make Carla look too good, and while she was never set up as a saint, she was never...um...evil before, and I'm really flummoxed as to why the producers would resort to this plotline just to make Benton look good -- and sympathetic -- by comparison.
Anyway, Carla drops this bombshell, and Benton says, "What?!" Carla seems to realize she screwed up royally, because she starts talking fast: "He may not be yours. There was somebody else. It was just casual. And then there was you." When Benton doesn't respond to any of this, her tone completely changes from contrite fallen woman to shrieking, defensive harpy: "I did it for Reese. He needed a father and Roger can be that." Benton finally breaks the spell, sticks his finger in her face, and growls, "Reese is my son, Carla!" She looks taken aback at the vehemence of his reaction. He picks up his bag and quietly says, again, "Reese is my son." I'm convinced.